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Hiori’s gaming by the shade of the tree again, touching grass. Something his parents will only allow if he involves football in it.
Oddly enough, he’s sitting by the football field as he plays tetris. He usually would rather do anything but have that field in his line of sight, but yesterday made him decide that it wouldn’t be so bad. He’s going to take that chance, if it means seeing Rin practice with his ball again.
The way Rin moves is impressive. He’s a year younger than him but he’s already a better player than most kids Hiori knows. And there’s something else there, too. Rin has an impressive passion, drive, ego. Hiori can see the distance between them within one match.
And he’s fine with it. He doesn’t mind it. As long as his parents don’t find out, he’ll get to stand to the side and just admire Rin with no pressure to achieve.
What Hiori likes about Rin is that he can always be his escape.
“Yoyo-chan!”
Hiori looks up to see Rin staring at him, football in his arms. Then the silence immediately breaks as Rin sets it down and dribbles it towards him, waving happily. “Yoyo-chan, I didn’t expect to see you here!”
“Oh, uh, I play games here a lot,” Hiori lies. He only started this habit recently.
“Oh!” Rin says, scooting over to sit beside him with a smile wider than he could ever dream off. He peeks from over his shoulder. “Nii-chan also plays that one! I love it.”
“Oh really?” Hiori asks. He’s about to ask if he can come over to play but he stops himself. He knows he can’t. His parents will kill him.
Rin notices him stop smiling. “Hey, don’t be sad. Nii-chan says being sad is useless. Plus, your smile is prettier.”
Hiori is caught off-guard by that because never in his life has he had someone value his smiles, his happiness. The priority for his parents is and will always be his football, his skills, his body. Nothing about who he is as a person.
“Maybe playing will make you feel happier,” Rin says, offering up the football.
Hiori shakes his head. And Rin looks sad. Genuinely sad that something he loves is going to be taken away from him. Jealousy and admiration both stir inside him.
Hiori sighs and gives in. “Whaddya need?”
“Can you, uh, match up to me again?” Rin asks, looking away, as if trying to hide his embarrassment.
Hiori smiles. This is the one time he’ll pick up the soccer ball. “Sure.”
Even if Hiori feels no pressure to achieve whenever they play, he still feels that he’s achieving. It’s exhilarating, looking for Rin on the field. That split-second of eye contact that communicates a million things. Then calculating and sending the perfect pass Rin needs to score.
“That was clean,” Hiori comments with a smile. Rin nods proudly. Rin doesn’t need to say anything back to him, and Hiori loves it. Hiori can’t trust compliments and praise anymore.
“We’re a perfect pair!”
“Hiori! Yo! Yo-chan!”
Hiori recognizes that voice anywhere. He watches as the tiny boy sneaks into the room and stares at the bed. Rin’s clearly hesitating, wondering whether he should climb on or not. Hiori makes space for him. He wants him to.
“Hi, Rinrin,” Hiori greets him. No matter how much everything aches, he still manages to have the corners of his mouth turn up with a smile. He knows how much Rin loves it.
This is a nice break from everything that’s happening. Hiori’s been living every single day in the hospital just wondering and fearing when and how his parents would split. He can’t think of a family with only one, or at least that’s what he thinks. He’s not ready. He doesn’t know what he’ll do for himself.
“What happened to your leg?” Rin asks, gently placing his hand on it. The touch is comforting, snapping him from his worries and fears. More comforting than when his parents’ held it.
“My- my parents…” Hiori says weakly. It feels wrong to call them his parents after all this, but he doesn’t know what else to call them.
“Are they being possessed?” Rin asks, tilting his head. “Do you live in a haunted house? Is that why they’re so mean?”
Yep they’ve been definitely playing those horror games together for too long. Hiori shakes his head. “No, but it’d be nicer to live in a horror game… at least no one shouts in those games…”
“Are they really just like that?” Rin asks, wrapping his head around the possibility of someone close to him being so mean.
Hiori leans against Rin and starts crying. “I was listening to my parents and they- they said they’re getting a divorce… they’re getting a divorce because I’m not number one in the world…”
His foot replays the pain of falling down all those flights of stairs.
“And then I fell.”
“You fell?” Rin asks, looking angry. “You didn’t have to fall! If only I was there, I would’ve caught you, and then you don’t have to be sad about your foot.”
Hiori smiles. He too wishes Rin was there. Maybe the fall wouldn’t have been so bad. “It’s okay, Rinrin. It’s not your fault. I fell because they’re having a divorce because of me.”
“It’s not your fault.” Rin shakes his head. “They’re dumb! If they leave you because you’re not the best, they’re the dumb ones! Nii-chan keeps telling me it takes a while before you can be the best, and he’s much younger than your parents!”
“It’s okay, it is my fault,” Hiori mumbles, wincing as he stares at his leg. He mostly doesn’t care about the fact that he can’t play football until it’s healed. The only part of it that makes him care is the fact that he’ll have to stop playing with Rin, stop having his only time to escape his parents.
“It’s not.” Rin pinches his cheeks, always a bit aggressive in showing that he cares. “And don’t believe them when they say you’re not the best because they’re dumb. I know more about football than they do, and I know you’re the best! Other than nii-chan.”
Tears prick Hiori’s eyes again because even though the words don’t mean much between two little kids who know nothing about the world, they’ve meant more than anything his parents ever said after the incident.
It’s terrible. They pretend everything’s fine, everything’s back to normal. But Hiori knows it will only be normal if he keeps being good at football. He only stops pretending everything’s normal when he’s with Rin. Rin knows, Rin understands. Rin listens to everything he ever talks about even though there’s no way he can relate.
Rin hasn’t felt the feeling of having everything be taken away from him and Hiori hopes he never does.
Somehow he knew that he and Rin would find each other again. Even if it’s in a football facility meant purely to create the world’s best striker.
Rin looks different is the first thing Hiori notices. His overall appearance hasn’t changed, but he doesn’t have the same wonder he had all those years ago. When he passes the ball to him, they connect almost immediately just like they used to before. It’s an unspoken instinct they both have for each other. Hiori smiles bittersweetly. At least that isn’t gone yet.
Hiori wonders whether Rin remembers. He is far from the same soul he met on the soccer field. He doesn’t know what happened. He was such a bright boy who gave him enough hope to even stay alive until today. Their meeting isn’t all the sunshine and rainbows he hoped it would be.
“I’m warning you, Hiori,” Rin says, with no sign of recognizing him. “People do leave you for not being the best. Your midfielding on the field isn’t enough in a world like this.”
And yet he still feels calmed by that statement.
Hiori can’t tell if it’s advice or a warning. Possibly both. Always a bit aggressive in showing that he cares, were words that echoed back from his childhood.
Karasu talks to him after the match.
“Hey, wasn’t that the Itoshi Rin you crushed on in your childhood?” Karasu asks, throwing a towel at him. That smug annoying tone’s so annoying, Hiori wishes the crow would just shut it for once.
“I keep tellin’ ya, I never crushed on him,” Hiori says.
“Pfft, yeah, right. You’re like a smitten lil schoolboy. All you do is think about him and dream of the love you two could have,” Karasu says, dramatically gesturing around. Hiori wants to shut his face up.
“Stop projecting,” Hiori mutters. Anything to distract him.
“Hey, I’m not. And you know I’d admit it if I ever was into anyone,” Karasu says with a hearty laugh. Good for him to be able to love freely, he supposes. Meanwhile, Hiori and his parents’ failure of a marriage has reduced all his desires for any romantic relationship into rubble that he’s not interested in building up anytime soon.
“Pfft, sure,” Hiori says, looking over at a certain white haired guy. “Besides, falling for anyone at Blue Lock is a major red flag.”
After all, all everyone here seems to talk about is football. A relationship purely built out of football is not going to last, Hiori knows that quite well. So might as well never take the extra step because it’s gonna be a miscalculated one. It’s not like he can ever bond with anyone else on that extra level. Especially in matters not regarding the sport.
“You’re sounding like a shoujo trope, y’know?” Karasu asks.
Hiori leaves.
He never sees Rin complimenting people anymore. Weird considering he used to be the kid that got excited about everything. The reason why he’s even bothered to dream this long. And yet… “Match up to me.”
Hiori wonders whether Rin’s ever trusted anyone in Blue Lock as much as he trusted him.
Hiori still finds himself thinking about him as he sits next to Karasu and Otoya in the ever-crowded dining hall. His mind is spinning and for once he can’t find himself concentrating when Karasu goes off in his long tangents about everyone’s weaknesses. It takes him a single glimpse around the room to know Rin’s not there.
Maybe he craves something more. He loves the friends he’s made here. He loves how he met new people and he loves meeting some other people again. But it’s all over football. Like always. It’s almost like his life is destined to center around it. Like he’ll never be able to make or keep his own bonds if he stops playing. It scares him.
“I fucking hate myself.”
Hiori’s greeted by a water bottle being slammed directly into the locker door behind him, the loud clang of plastic against metal startling him as he looks for the source of the projectile. There stands Itoshi Rin, looking more deer-in-headlights than anyone’s ever seen him.
Rin looks away and rubs the back of his neck. “Oh shit, sorry.”
Hiori struggles to contain his laugh for the sake of his junior but a bit of it still escapes as he picks the water bottle up.
“How are you still alive in here, Hiori? I thought you’d hate this place more than anyone else,” Rin mutters as he collapses beside him, his head in his hands. Hiori can feel him seething.
“I thought ya’d love this place more,” Hiori says, opening the bottle and taking a sip as he watches the usually put-together Itoshi fall apart beside him. He can’t particularly say he doesn’t empathise with him. It’s painful being surrounded and pushed into something he doesn’t care about, but he’d much prefer this than being at home. That’s the battle he picked.
“You’re right, maybe this place isn’t so bad,” Rin says through his teeth. If there is any sarcasm in those words, it’s buried under his anger. He leans his head against the locker. “I hate this place, why the fuck am I even here…”
A rhetorical question of course, one only Itoshi knows how to answer.
“Why the fuck is Isagi actually thriving in this stupid ass place?
“... ya hate yourself that much huh?” Hiori asks tentatively. He can only imagine that. He can’t completely wrap his head around Rin hating himself and yet Hiori does still understand more than most people in Blue Lock. “I mean even if ya hate yourself so much, I still love ya. You’re more than what ya hate about yourself.”
Hiori absentmindedly swirls in the ice in his water bottle. It could confuse a lot of people how the great Itoshi Rin manages to even struggle in Blue Lock, this place is practically made for him. The real battles are really within and not on the field. Hiori can understand that much. Maybe they were both just good enough to have opponents bigger than the other team, or maybe he’s just delusional.
“And if I hate everything about myself?”
“Then you’re more than everything than ya think ya are right now.” Let me back in, Rin.
Rin scoffs as he looks away. Back then he only fails to meet his eyes when he finds him playing a game that he likes but never wanted to admit it out loud, for fear of being considered an uncool nerd. The memory still makes Hiori smile a bit.
“Hiori, you should stop worrying about me,” Rin says. There’s no semblance of care in his voice but the shadow of the pride that he used to flaunt back then. “I’m on top of Blue Lock, and will be on top of the football world. You should think more about yourself.”
“I only made it this far because I didn’t wanna go back,” Hiori says. A phantom pain in his left leg spikes up again.
Rin stays silent as he eyes him. Hiori’s never felt this bare before. He can’t read him. Not yet. He’s only good enough to keep up for now. And after finding Rin again, maybe he would want to do more. Anything it takes to stay away from them and to stay with him.
“How’s your leg, Yo?” Rin asks.
“Ah…” Yo. No honourifics attached. It’s been so long since he’s heard him call him that. He stays silent for a minute or two scrambling to piece together possible words. Rin doesn’t leave and just waits for him. Hiori sighs. “It’s fine now…”
“Should be. You’re good at passing with it. And catching loose balls. Still not enough though. Anyone in U20 could do that. You need to improve your positioning. You hesitate a second too long before passing.”
Hiori takes all this advice in stride, probably the first football related advice he doesn’t immediately discard. And slowly he realizes that this type of advice isn’t common at all in Blue Lock. “Those are for midfielders…”
“And so? I don’t think you want to be a striker. I don’t want you to be a striker.”
“I thought you hated midfielders,” Hiori says, wondering what happened to all that striker talk back in their childhood. Rin wanted him and his nii-chan to be the best strikers ever. Then Sae went off to Europe and was plastered on all the newspapers for being the next up-and-coming midfielder sensation.
It still doesn’t quite click in his head. He’s still missing crucial items in this situation. It would have made sense if Rin sensationalised midfielders due to that, but he’s still in Blue Lock. A place for strikers. It would make more sense now if he hates midfielders. “You confuse me, Rin-kun.”
“I want to hate all midfielders,” is what Rin says as he picks up the water bottles on the floor. He throws one to Hiori. “What’s that crow telling you?”
“Oh, Karasu?” Hiori asks, trying to immediately stop their previous conversations from playing in his mind. He did not and does not like Rin, and he isn’t going to let his best friend plant that idea into his head. “... just told me to keep my connections going in here.”
Rin shakes his head. “What a dumbass. All the connections here you can make are useless, especially for you. All these bitches talk about is football.”
“I mean he means well.” He can’t say he hates Karasu or any of his friends.
Rin turns away, his volume decreasing the slightest bit and he tries to speak in monotone but his voice just quivers the slightest bit to a force neither of them can pinpoint yet. “At least he’s keeping you company. You can survive with that.”
“And you can’t?” Hiori asks, finding himself a little curious to know who Rin spends his time with nowadays. Knowing Rin’s disdain for midfielders now, he can only tell that the brothers’ relationship may not be that fine right now.
“I’d say I can. Yo, you know the answer,” Rin says, trying and failing so hard to be cryptic and mysterious that it solicits a little laugh from Hiori. Rin looks back at him and his eyes soften the slightest bit.
It makes Hiori smile subconsciously. “I’ve never seen ya relaxed in here, Rin-kun.”
“I can’t with how much everyone’s getting on my damn nerves,” Rin mutters. “How you survive here, I don’t know. You can’t even have a gaming setup in here.”
“Pfft are ya still into horror games? I have a few recs now,” Hiori says, easily slipping back into the friendly tones they used back in the day. It feels like his shackles have finally been lifted from him for this one small moment. He could be talking about football with anyone else, but he’s glad he finally gets to talk about games with someone who gets it.
Rin scoffs and sits down. “As if you could know more than me. But recs would be fine, I guess.”
He pats the ground beside him once and Hiori immediately moves to sit. He had no idea what he did in Blue Lock to unlock this event with the Rin Itoshi but man he isn’t going to waste it. “Well actually there’s this game called Detention- Rin, no, don’t laugh, I swear to god it’s not Baldi’s Basics vibes. No, I swear- Rin! Shut your mouth–”
There aren’t any clocks at all in Blue Lock and they’ve both easily lost track of time that Hiori thinks he’s almost hallucinating by the time Ego’s face appears on the screen of the room.
“Ay ay ay, what are you two doing in here? Itoshi, how do you aspire to come anywhere near your brother if you just spend your time talking with your crush like this instead of practicing on the field? There’s no room in Blue Lock for that type of ego.”
Hiori has to stop himself from laughing as the screen goes black. This is a complete fucking joke, he thought, but one glance at Rin brought him back. He was squeezing his bottle way too tightly. It’s hard to remember everyone else in Blue Lock takes this seriously. Hiori tugs his sleeve a bit, wishing he’d relax.
“Rin-kun?”
Rin whips his head around, glaring, and Hiori’s almost sure he’s dead. But then Rin jerks his arm away and looks at the ground. “I wish this damn building would leave me alone.”
“Ah, alright, sorry. It’s getting late anyway,” Hiori says in an understanding tone, nodding as he stands up. He’s walking out the door when he thinks he hears Rin say something but it’s probably just his exhaustion talking.
The next practice has the same atmosphere going around, but this time Hiori feels a pair of eyes focus more on him this time around. And it’s noticeable for everyone in Blue Lock, no matter what type of vision they have. It’s impossible to ignore a change when his team keeps missing goals.
“Oy, Rin, what the hell was that? I was wide open. You could’ve passed to me,” Isagi says with a groan, staring at the field intently as he wipes the sweat off his forehead. He looks longingly at the scoreboard, 2-4. Poor guy.
Any normal person would’ve apologised right then and there but unfortunately Rin has too much spite to spare himself any remorse to feel.
“Tsk, do better, Isagi.”
“Is Rin-chan perhaps distracted today?” Shidou teases, getting up in the younger one’s already annoyed face. “Want me to help with that?”
“Fuck off, insect-hair. I’m fine.”
“Fine is not missing three goal possibilities in a row,” Nanase offers a little sympathetically. Rin looks at him and he hides a bit behind Isagi.
Hiori’s just watching this all from his spot on the bench. He knows more than anyone what Rin can and can’t do on the field and for the first time, he does feel frustrated for his own team.
“Hiori, catch!”
Hiori stops a bottle from narrowly hitting his face as Karasu walks towards him with a laugh. From the corner of his eye he sees Rin turn towards the commotion with eyebrows furrowed, perhaps in annoyance.
“Can ya not do that, ya dumbass?” Hiori asks as he opens the bottle.
Otoya and Karasu sandwich him on the bench. Oh god, time for them to bother the fuck out of him. Still, he doesn’t mind it. On the rare occasion they do end up giving him advice that he ends up cherishing. “What is it now?”
“Rin sucks right now and I’m not even marking him,” Karasu says with a laugh. “Can’t believe even Isagi’s managed to score over him.”
“He’s just… tired,” Hiori says. He’s not sure why the legendary Itoshi is performing this badly but he suspects it’s because of their late-night venture. He did seem annoyed last night.
Otoya’s eyebrow raises and he speaks in that ever-so annoying voice. “Tired huh? Did you keep him up, Hiori? Didn’t know you had what it takes.”
“Nahnah, they probably just talked about games like the nerds they are,” Karasu says, hitting Otoya on the head lightly. He then turns to Hoiri with a smile that makes him just want to punch him. “But ya know, if it was something else, don’t forget to bring protection.”
Otoya joins in. “I have positions you guys can tr-”
Hiori leans back and grabs the back of their heads, bonking their foreheads together. “Stop it, ya dumbasses. I think Rin-kun’s just grumpy. I took away some soccer time from him…”
Karasu notices the remorseful tone in his voice much earlier than Otoya does, and unfortunately Hiori might just find himself in the middle of dadsplaining now. Hiori places a hand on Karasu’s mouth before he could even start a long sermon.
“Hey, maybe his life doesn’t revolve around soccer, y’know?” Otoya adds unhelpfully. Hiori wonders if Otoya can fathom anyone else’s mind not being full of girls.
“Rin Itoshi?” Hiori says with a weak laugh, emphasising the last name well. “I doubt Sae Itoshi’s brother’s life wouldn’t revolve around soccer either. They’re a family destined for soccer…”
It’s a bit sad, Hiori thinks. Rin’s always going to be expected to be in soccer no matter what.
Hiori finds himself thinking about what Rin really feels about the sport. They haven’t talked much about it at all, which he previously considered impossible. Everyone in this godforsaken place only talks about that, and Hiori just wants to shove them all off a cliff when they do, except for the select few friends he had enough affection for. He’s surprised he’s actually found someone else who understands and wants to talk about the things and games he talks about.
He looks at the Itoshi who seems to be dragged into some practice with Isagi and Nanase. From first glance, with how he commands the ball and field, anyone would think that he lives for the sport. But Hiori can sense a slightest bit of hatred from him and he can’t tell if he’s just projecting. Maybe that’s why he’s so drawn to him. He’s desperate for that thin glimmer of hope that someone’s going through the same thing he is.
The secrets of Itoshi Rin are still locked deep inside and Hiori doesn’t even know where to begin to find the key.
“Yo? Hiori Yo?”
“Ow fuck–”
Otoya bonks him on the head with a water bottle before he can even react.
“Jeez, stop doing that,” Hiori mutters.
“Seriously though you need to beat Kenyu and that other gaymer boi. Get Rin to get good,” Karasu says, ruffling his hair. Hiori groans but still lets him because he knows he won’t receive this fatherly affection from anyone else back home.
Hiori looks back at his team and notices Rin watching before he slowly reverts his eyes. As confusing as ever.
“C’mon it’s not your fault he has skill issue, you both should know that,” Karasu says, elbowing him.
“I really wish ya’d stop talking like that. We don’t even talk like that,” Hiori says, rolling his eyes. And he knows they’re just trying to make him feel better but he can't help but feel a sneaking suspicion that he probably should be blamed, lest he stop another family from going number one.
“Maybe he’s just staring cuz he has a crush on you,” Otoya jokes and Hiori’s gonna punch him if one more joke about Rin is said.
“Haha, very funny,” Hiori deadpans.
Rin does eventually get good, pulling off two plays with Hiori and scoring two more goals to send their match into overtime. He still doesn’t find soccer fun but this was as close to exciting as it could get. What he doesn’t find fun is the fact that he’s positioned in a very convenient spot to score.
“Hiori!” Isagi shouts. Hiori’s calculated countless possibilities but still manifests that the one Isagi chose was not to send the ball right to his feet. But that’s what he does.
Hiori has less than a split second to decide, scanning the field looking for anyone else who’s open. He spots Rin being marked by Yukimiya. Worth the risk. He passes.
Yukimiya immediately moves to intercept it but the ball moves just far enough for Rin to catch it with his right leg and he dribbles right out of the situation and immediately passes to Hiori who returns to the middle of the field. Now this is a funner position.
After a few more exchanges, Hiori assists Rin to score the last goal.
Hiori smiles as the team gathers around Rin to celebrate, who still looks as unbothered as ever. Their eyes meet and Hiori hopes that he feels better after a long night wasted with just talking about games.
“Fuck yeah, that’s my kid right there!” Karasu shouts.
“Our kid, dumbass.”
Otoya and Karasu run to him and Hiori finds himself getting head patted a lot. Love language, he supposes.
“I’m not ya kid,” he says, but he knows more than anything he’d love having this family over the one he has now.
Yukimiya walks over to them which seems to be a mistake as Karasu and Otoya immediately jump towards him and they topple onto the ground. Hiori winces, internally grateful that wasn’t him. As the two of them bully Yukimiya for losing, he feels someone tap him on the shoulder.
“Ah, sorry about yesterday,” Hiori immediately says apologetically upon turning around, first instinct telling him already who that was. “I know I got rid of some of your practice and sleepin’ time.”
“It’s fine,” Rin says with a small grunt, still a little salty despite pretending he’s not. “But I will say you’re not enough to pick up the slack. Playing like this can only get you so far.”
“Rin-kun, ya know I will never be a striker even if I hafta.”
“I’m not telling you to be a striker.”
Hiori’s left with a bunch of words he can’t unscramble again, and unfortunately for him, his two fathers are done bullying the other son so he feels an arm swing around him really tightly as another pats his head.
“Think we weren’t done with you? You fucking won against Kenyu!” Karasu says, bopping his ahoge.
Hiori just rolls his eyes and holds out a fistbump for Yukimiya. “Good game, Yuki.”
“Thanks, at least someone seems to think so,” his opponent says with a small laugh, bumping his fist against his.
“But you gotta admit Hiori and Rin dominated your sorry ass,” Otoya said.
“Otoya, wording.”
“Sorry, I forgot the only ass Hiori wants to dominate is Ri–”
Hiori grabs his face. “I’m gonna murder ya, assassin.”
Yukimiya watches the exchange curiously. “Wait, Hiori likes Rin?”
“No, I don’t,” Hiori deadpans, finally shoving Otoya away from him. Yukimiya at least seems to accept that they’re just messing with him and shrugs.
Otoya then proceeds to pretend to cry like the manbaby he is. “Hiori-kun is so mean to me…”
Otoya tries to bury his face in Karasu’s chest for support but he just shoves him off, making Otoya pout even more. Hiori rolls his eyes, very much deserved.
“That was a great game though, Hiori. You managed to pick up Rin’s slack really well,” Yukimiya says with a smile, wiping his sweaty goggles off on his shirt. What Hiori dislikes about him is that he tries to be a little too much of a people’s man. Comes with modeling, but sometimes he just thinks Yukimiya skirts around the truth sometimes.
“I wasn’t picking up any slack. Rin-kun just had a bad day,” Hiori mutters again. He’s tired of being hailed as a significant member of his team. Anyone in Blue Lock would die for that, but he’d rather die than have all his value be placed on what he can do in a sport.
“Get a load of this guy. He’s been saying that the whole time,” Karasu says, patting his head in that affectionate but annoying way again.
“He’s totally sucking his dick.”
“Can ya please talk about anything other than sex? We aren’t even that close,” Hiori says, earning simultaneous eyebrow raises from the three of them. It almost makes him laugh. “No, really, ask anyone in our team. I’m much closer to Isagi and Nanase than Rin-kun.”
“You say that but Rin full-on trusts you to be his midfielder. I’ve never seen that before,” Yukimiya says, unfortunately being ever so reasonable.
“Maybe I’m just that good,” Hiori says, and luckily they leave it at that.
“Hiori, your plays were so good!” Nanase says, jumping on top of his futon like a little dog. Hiori laughs a bit. It’s fun having Nanase as a teammate. He may care about the sport but he also cares about who people are off-field. Unfortunately their bond is still mostly based in football. “The one with Shidou where you put the ball where no one was even looking! Ohoh and the one with Isagi where you got him to read the field and position in such a tight apot… But the last three with Rin… that was just amazing! You guys connected so well on the field. It’s like you’re made for each other or something!”
Hiori laughs a little nervously, hoping that the shit Karasu and Otoya were saying hadn’t spread that far yet. “I mean I think that’s just because Rin-kun’s a good player, ya know? It’s easy to play with someone who’s already good.”
“I didn’t even see the last two coming! I don’t think even Isagi realised what was happening. You two are playing on a whole different level!”
Rin and Hiori’s eyes meet.
Hiori smiles but something’s keeping it from going all the way. The thought of them playing on a different level intimidates him, as much as he hates to admit. Rin’s words echo back to him.
“Rin-kun must still be way ahead of me,” Hiori murmurs. Playing like this will only get you this far. People in Blue Lock can think that Hiori’s on a different level but very very few know that Hiori actually has less passion than all of them. Rin can see that. No doubt everyone will slowly see that as they get better. Hiori’s just a big fraud who’s happy enough to not go home.
Rin is still looking at him and he doesn’t know what that means. Normally right now Rin would just be in a corner alone sulking but he’s in their collective room full of other players. Isagi’s trying to engage him in conversation, a football conversation for sure, but he doesn’t look the least bit interested.
The enigma that is Itoshi Rin. He seems like he doesn’t care when other people yap about football but the sheer passion and tenacity he exudes on the field totally elucidates the opposite. Hiori has to admit he’s slightly jealous. How can someone seem to hate something and yet have so much talent and drive for it?
He knows the answer of course. The thing that sets him and Rin apart. Rin actually cares. He cares about football so he doesn’t throw. He cares about Blue Lock so he scores. He cares so much that he can almost hate himself over it.
“You still must be training so well to keep up with Itoshi-kun!” Nanase says with a bright smile, and Hiori feels his heart break a little as he predicts his next words. “Can you pleeeaase teach me?”
He almost could laugh at the irony of it all. Everyone thinks he’s the more passionate one of the two, the one who cares and commits more to the sport.
Hiori shakes his head as he tries to embody the spirit that every Blue Lock player seems to naturally have. “Sorry, Nanase-kun. But I can’t teach ya. I hafta stay on top, y’know?”
Nanase frowns but nods in an understanding way. Only one person in the room spotted that bluff.
Hiori sighs as he moves over to sit beside Isagi and Nanase, cooling down after the match. They had a couple of more days before U20 and he is determined to shut down any invitation to practice. He doesn’t have any more games now at least and as much as he wants to be a supportive friend, he barely gets any fun watching people play football. The only people who are fun to watch are those who can clearly calculate the game like Isagi, Rin or Reo.
But since he personally doesn’t have any more games later, he doesn’t see an incentive to stay and watch. He waves goodbye to Karasu and Otoya, wishes them luck, and goes on his merry way back to his room, waiting until dinner. Or maybe he’ll even skip dinner, who knows.
Hiori finds himself just chilling in a room with Nagi and Niko watching the Arknights anime adaptation for the better half of the afternoon. He doesn’t really have much of a reason to stay but seeing how Niko nerds out over every lore detail and Nagi complaining about FrostNova being nerfed, it feels nice to know that there are other people who likes things other than football. How long this will last though, he doesn’t know. After all, the Blue Lock fever takes over fast.
As much as they annoy him, Hiori has got to admit he loves Karasu with all his heart. As bros. Absolute unbelievable bros. He cannot imagine anyone else helping him through life. He feels more connected to him than his own father. Hell, he wouldn’t mind if Karasu was actually his father. He’d give anything for that to have been the case. Maybe then he’d actually fall in love with football.
He remembers the last time they had a fight before making it into Blue Lock. He had really wanted to end his life right then and there. No matter how many ‘I hate you’s are said it didn’t really change the fact that he felt absolutely alone after that. He was more than relieved to know they had gotten in Blue Lock together. He could survive on his own, he knew that,
“Don’t leave me, ya hear?” Hiori asked him, elbowing him playfully. He tries to sound like he doesn’t mind it if he actually does. Repression does that to someone.
“Nah, I won’t leave you, don’t worry,” Karasu had said, ruffling his hair. “But you gotta find other people to bond with, too. I’m not always gonna be there.”
Hiori sees life as a video game. His parents are the debuffs. Blue Lock are the levels. The players are mostly NPCs except for the few who become his friend. Scoring is that one sitting side-quest that he never will do. The only real enemy he has is going back home. Game over.
He just doesn’t know what the hell Itoshi Rin is. He doesn’t seem like an NPC but also doesn’t seem like he could be added to his party. He doesn’t know what type of game he is. Hanging out with Rin is too natural to be something strategic like chess or Tetris. But he doesn’t have free reign over him and still seems to have to think in order to not worsen his stats with him.
An unfortunate realisation brews in the back of his mind. Rin Itoshi is a dating sim character and Hiori’s unfortunately frustrated to not have raised that many flags.
Hiori shakes the thought out of his head as quickly as it came. He can’t afford to get distracted by things like that, just has to focus on getting through the levels. On avoiding that game over. And yet every interaction with Rin beckons him to try a little more.
Hiori can still feel Rin’s eyes follow him all the way to the U20 game.
“It’s been a while since we got time alone together like this…”
Hiori only smiles blankly but his mind is full of telling him that holy shit this sounds like an intro to invite to fuck. But he knows Rin’s not into that but it still doesn’t erase the fact that it sounds like it.
“Yo,” Rin firmly says. Hiori freezes as Rin’s hands brush along his soft cyan bangs.
Hiori feels his face turning red. There is no way Itoshi just did that, out of all people. He lets out a nervous laugh as he tries to diffuse his own feelings. “Are ya flirting with me, Itoshi-kun?”
Hiori had expected a curt ‘no.’ He expected an eyeroll and to be told to not joke about that again. What he didn’t expect is the ever-stoic Rin to bury his face in his arms. His turquoise eyes peek out a bit. “... so what if I’m trying to? You know I suck at this.”
“Ya are?” Hiori asks, leaning a little bit closer to him.
Rin doesn’t flinch, doesn’t move. No one has ever seen Rin Itoshi be nervous but just for this moment it almost seems that way. He finally breathes and nods once.
“Then do ya mind if I do this?” Hiori finally takes this chance to do all the things he’s always wanted to do and leans his head on Rin’s shoulder, then he hugs his arm, snuggling close. He’s constantly reminded of the fact that the chances of Rin letting anyone do this is always near zero.
“I don’t mind,” Rin says as he leans back on his own as well. Hiori feels his breath catch in his throat. “I don’t mind doing more either.”
“I mean we don’t have to date. I’m just fine being buddies with ya.”
“You are but I’m not fine with that…”
“Ah come on… a lotta people like ya, Rin-kun. I don’t even know why ya would choose me.”
“You make me feel… loved, I guess. A lot of people out there only like me because of my stoic unbothered persona or how many goals I score, and sometimes that doesn’t even matter. There’s no dealing with that shit with you… Back in the U20 match, if it was anyone else, I wouldn’t have let them help me.”
“I think it’s just that no one else wanted to help ya,” Hiori says, remembering how close the other Blue Lockers were. He wasn’t even anywhere near Rin but he ran up the field anyway. A vague memory of Karasu arguing with the referee pops in his head and it feels nice to realise that his own friends are starting to care for Rin, too.
Hiori takes Rin’s hands into his own and buries his head in them. This is a feeling he hasn’t ever given himself the chance to bask in, and why should he? So many guys and girls have probably already fallen for the stoic Itoshi Rin. Hiori isn’t anything special.
Hell he’s probably more delusion-pilled if he truly believes in his heart that Rin’s anything else other than stoic. And yet he knows it’s real. A part of him knows the moments they spent together weren’t fake. The Third Selection, the U20 match. Remnants of Rin were still there. He still is a boy with dreams that just swallowed him whole. And Hiori’s fallen despite all the warnings in his head. “I’m starting to think I’ve fallen in love with ya, Rin-kun.
“Then…” Rin says. Hiori feels the slightly taller boy shift a bit, his head finding a perfect spot on his shoulder. “That’s good, isn’t it?”
Because I’ve fallen for you, too are words that are never said yet are completely understood, just hang in the silence around them, and it still makes Hiori giggle and his face heat up. He buries himself further into Rin’s warm hoodie.
“Yeah. That’s perfect,” Hiori says, finding it in him to lift his head up, reaching out to cup Rin’s cheek. He’s never had the striker’s eyes on him like this and it definitely feels better than any goal he’s been forced to score in his life.
He leans in and Rin freezes up at the first contact, which makes him chuckle a bit. It’s adorable. He pulls away, staring into his eyes for a few seconds, gazing into the one who shares the same vision as him. Then he leans in again and this time Rin reciprocates, gently kissing back. A stark difference from how he is on the field. Rin is slow, cautious, patient. But it all goes away the moment Rin puts his hands on his neck and pulls him in closer.
It’s absolutely perfect.