Chapter Text
“Hands are no longer hands. They are caresses. Mouths are no longer mouths. They are kisses. My name is no longer a name, it is a call. And love is no longer love — love is you.” - Lang Leav
Isagi first heard of Itoshi Sae through his father. Or, more accurately, through the newspaper his father was reading.
He was 11 back then, still in elementary school, but football had become a staple in his life by then. Something he knew instinctively he’d hold onto for the rest of his life. His parents were encouraging of that. They came to watch his games whenever he could. His mother would prepare the tasty but nutritious meals for him. His father bought him shiny new cleats.
(When he grows up his love for his parents would grow as he compares them with others. He was lucky. So, so lucky. Where other parents would dissuade their children from following such a path, his always encouraged him.
They were his safety net to fall back onto should he stumble. And even later when he was an adult and established, they never wavered. Forever content to remain the safety net for their one and only child whom they love so much.)
His father read aloud the news about Itoshi Sae. Prodigy. Genius. Japan’s treasure.
(Everything he isn’t. Not yet.)
“On his way to Spain!” His father exclaims.
His mother makes a delighted sound.
“Re Al chose him! Says a lot about him, doesn’t it?”
His parents don’t understand football. But from what little they gleaned from Isagi they knew that European football was the best. And among them all, Re Al of Spain wore the crown of being the best of the best.
Isagi glanced down at the paper his father put on the table to see a smiling Itoshi Sae.
Japan ’ s treasure on his way to Spain!
One day that will be me. He promises to himself.
He does not think about Itoshi Sae again for a very long time after that.
The next time he thinks of Itoshi Sae is in Blue Lock.
This time it wasn’t the appraising words of his parents, but the cold, disgruntled words of Itoshi Rin. Itoshi Sae’s little brother. Another monster like his older brother. Except a striker and not a midfielder.
Everything I do is with the purpose of getting into the national team and surpassing my brother. Crushing Itoshi Sae is everything to me.
The genius midfielder. His little brother.
Momentarily, he remembers the games he’s watched of Re Al’s youth team. Itoshi Sae and his flawless passes. His ability to read his opponent’s so well and maneuver past them.
Then he’s back to the present. To Itoshi Rin.
And he wants to beat him. He wants to fight against this genius and see where he stands.
To see how far away he is from his goal of reaching the top where Itoshi Sae stands.
How far away he is from the proclaimed ‘Japan’s greatest treasure.’
The next time he thinks of Itoshi Sae is when he’s facing against him on the field.
So far, he’s seen him in pictures and on screen. Never in flesh. Never in real life.
When he was young, he once dreamt of reaching the stage of Itoshi Sae. Dreamt that he would either play with him or against him because Itoshi Sae was the best. To play on the same stage as him meant Isagi was the best. But in high school his dreams were crushed. He could never reach that stage. He was stuck here. A mediocre player at best.
But now.
Now.
Now they’re on the same field, facing against each other. Itoshi Sae doesn’t look at him, but Isagi can’t take his eyes off him. Itoshi Sae was the kind of player who enraptured you so thoroughly that you’re mesmerized by his plays.
This is the man who was Japan’s greatest treasure. Itoshi Sae. The future midfielder of the best football club in the world.
Blue Lock’s biggest challenge because it was Itoshi Sae tying the game. It was him bringing the U20 Japan team together. It was Itoshi Sae who helped Shidou score his goals.
He needed to defeat him.
There was no going back from this. From the moment he ran towards the light during his first day at Blue Lock, he knew instinctively there was no going back.
So, when Ego said that he would have a comfortable future after this, Isagi wanted to grab that man and slam him down.
Comfortable? Who wanted that? Who needed that?
If he wanted comfort he’d stay home. He’d stay in Ichinan High and never grow out of that stupid mentality of working together for others. No. He stayed in Blue Lock for himself. For his selfishness. He walked and ran and stumbled and crawled and ran and stumbled and crawled and over and over again.
He didn’t need comfort.
He needed to win.
Not just any win.
But with his own goal.
He’d make everyone see him.
And then.
He sees him.
“That’s unexpected.” He hears. “So, you are the heart of Blue Lock.”
He looks and sees Itoshi Sae, looking right at him.
Fuck.
Why was he here?
He wasn’t meant to be here. He wasn’t meant to be targeting Isagi.
Fuck.
When Barou scores the goal that was meant to be his, Isagi feels both ecstatic and frustrated.
If only.
If only Itoshi Sae had not targeted his core, he would have shot. And he’d have scored. He’d win.
The next goal was his.
He does not see Itoshi Sae after they won. He was swarmed by others. Swarmed by his teammates celebrating their win. Then swarmed by the reporters asking for him.
I’ll lead Japan to win at U20 World Cup.
The U20 team.
The U20 World Cup.
Blue Lock.
Rin’s declaration.
He has too much on his mind at that moment.
He does not think of Itoshi Sae.
(The one who’s able to change this country’s football is Isagi Yoichi.)
The next time he remembers Itoshi Sae is when he comes face to face with him during the U20 practice.
“Isagi Yoichi. The heart of Blue Lock.”
Behind him, he hears Bachira, Hiori and Nagi pause. In front of him stood Itoshi Sae, dressed in a pair of black pants and Re Al’s white jacket. A bag slung over his shoulder and a nervous man standing behind him, fidgeting.
They all quiet, waiting.
“Itoshi Sae. Rin’s older brother.”
Behind him, Bachira snorts. Behind Itoshi Sae, the man in glasses looks even more nervous.
In front of him, Itoshi Sae’s mouth twitches.
“See you on the field.”
He wonders whether Rin would be pleased with him for that.
Ego announces the ranking even as they already knew it. But he mentions the addition to the team.
“Itoshi Sae, joining as a midfielder to the team. With this addition we will have the perfect team, my unpolished gems.” Ego informs them.
Isagi glances at Rin from the corner of his eyes, and mentally sighs at the scowl on his face.
Itoshi Sae remains bored.
“For the rest of you,” Here Ego grins down at them and instinctively Isagi stands up straight. “We will just have to see which of you will make it to the top 10.”
Around him people scowled and some grinned. He could hear Shidou’s cackles and Nagi’s low whines.
Another normal day at Blue Lock for all of them.
As they all shuffle out towards the changing rooms, Isagi almost doesn’t hear him over the loud chattering of others.
“Let’s see how far you’ve come.”
When he looks to his side, Itoshi Sae walks past him.
There was football before Blue Lock and football after Blue Lock.
Before was boring. It was drabby. When he thinks of it now, he cringes because how could he play like that? Passing to others so easily when he could make the goal. Simply accepting his loss and crying over it?
After was nerve-wracking. It was intense. It was everything he thought he could never have. It was beautiful and twisted and insanity. It was everything good and bad wrapped in one.
He thought After was done. He thought he knew what it was like to play real football.
Then.
There was football before he played with Itoshi Sae.
Then there was football after he played with Itoshi Sae.
Itoshi Sae was not like his brother.
First, he was a midfielder. Rin was a striker.
Second, he wasn’t actively trying to murder Isagi. Sometimes when he watched Rin practice his shooting, he had a feeling that Rin was imagining his face when he shot his goal.
(That ‘sometimes’ increased exponentially after the match against Itoshi Sae.)
He thought he knew about his skills enough. He observed it before their match through Ego’s recordings and lectures. He watched it in front of his eyes during the game. Heard about it from Shidou, who was the only striker receiving his passes, and how it was amazing and perfect and that the only other time he felt like a midfielder reached his level was Charles from ParisXGen.
(Rin never praised his brother. His face would twist in a scowl if somebody even mentioned his brother in his presence.
They all learned to not mention him in Rin’s presence.)
Isagi played in Blue Lock long enough to appreciate other players with the ability to dribble and pass perfectly. Bachira was the first one to awe Isagi. Later it was Reo. Then it was Hiori, who willingly stepped into the position of a midfielder and went head-to-head against Charles, the prodigy.
But Itoshi Sae was something else.
There was football before Itoshi Sae and there was football after him.
Oh. He thinks when the ball lands right in front of him and he aims to shoot. This is what it’s like to receive his passes.
He shoots.
The Blue Lock man reaches.
The ball soars past the figure.
Bachira cheers as he jumps on Isagi’s back.
But Isagi looks over to the far-left side.
Itoshi Sae stood there, arms crossed. His face was blank but he could tell. He could tell that his eyes were gleaming.
Ten days before the start of the tournament, Ego announces the line up.
“Some positions are decided and won’t change. Firstly, the goalkeeper. Gagamaru.”
Expected. Gagamaru has been consistent in his position as the GK since the U20 match. At this point he thinks it would be more awkward for him to return to his previous position than stay as a GK.
“Center Backs. Aryu Jubei and Oliver Aiku.”
As Ego announces more names and explains his reasons for them, Isagi’s palm sweats and he clenches his fists tightly.
He was a starter during the U20 match. He’s been playing consistently since selecting Bastard München. He was known for his assists and his goals.
But initially for the U20 match he played on the offensive to assist Rin because he was the only one who could read Rin and keep up with him. He was meant to be a midfielder. During his time with Bastard München, he was initially appraised for his assists and offered a deal for being Bastard’s new midfielder.
He does not want a repeat of that. It does not matter now that Bastard changed their contract with him and signed him on the basis that he will be their upcoming striker. What matters is whether Ego will follow by doing the same.
He didn’t want to be named as an offensive midfielder.
He wanted to be called out as a Forward.
“Lastly, the two central pieces for the team around whom the team will work around. First, we have Itoshi Rin, the reigning champion when it comes to scoring goals in Blue Lock.” Ego glances at Rin.
Isagi follows suit. Rin is casually standing, not even bothered by the announcement. His expression says it all. It was a given.
Isagi clenches his jaw.
“And lastly, Isagi Yoichi.” Ego turns his eyes on him.
Isagi waits with bated breath.
“Will follow through with the same position on the right. His scoring abilities are on level with Itoshi Rin, and his evaluation shows how his awareness on the field increases to the point there’s almost no rival on the team.” Ego snaps the iPad shut. “The other strikers I named will substitute in or be placed in positions seen fit before each match.”
Isagi does not hear anything after that.
His ears are ringing. His heart feels like it’s about to jump out of his chest.
He made it.
He made it!
He is a striker.
“Shouldn’t you be resting?”
Isagi stumbles, his foot grazing the ball in front him, sending it rolling forward.
Isagi scowls and looks towards the entrance to see Itoshi Sae leaning against the wall.
“If you burn yourself out so soon then we will be at a disadvantage.” He states calmly.
Disadvantage. We.
If Isagi can’t play properly it might hamper the team. Because he is an important player now. Just like Rin. Not so easily replaceable. Blue Lock Eleven was a team that was made centering around Rin.
U20 Japan is a team that was made centering around Rin and Isagi.
If he falls, the team would suffer.
“I’m not used to it.” He says.
Itoshi Sae cocks an eyebrow.
“Being important enough to cause the team harm.” He explains. “It still feels like a dream.”
He nods as if he understands.
He doesn’t.
Itoshi Sae was a genius. A prodigy. He was never like Isagi. Struggling and crawling, trying to reach to the top.
He was born at the very top.
“Still doesn’t mean you run yourself to nothing like this.” He nods towards the goal. Isagi glances to see the balls lying around. Tens of them.
He winces. He’s been here longer than he’d intended to be.
He has no doubt by now Bachira is fast asleep in their room. Isagi had assured him he’d be back soon. It seems like soon wasn’t happening.
“You’re awake.” He points out.
“Cool down.” He says. “I do-”
“Yoga.” Isagi nods. “That makes sense.”
At his confused expression, Isagi says, “I’ve seen Rin do it before.”
Itoshi Sae’s face once again dissolves into nothing.
He did not know him. This boy in front of him was practically a stranger. Someone he knew through TV screens, Rin’s bare few words, and the one game they played against each other. In almost all those times when he’s seen Itoshi Sae’s face, he always had a bored, uninterested look on his face.
But when speaking of his brother, his face changes.
It might seem as if he’s still the same. Blank faced and bored. But Isagi could see the slight twitch of his mouth. His eyes dimming.
“Do you hate him? Rin?” He asks.
He was silent. Isagi thought he should apologize. Itoshi Sae was not his brother. He was not Isagi’s peer. They might work together on this team, but they weren’t equals. Itoshi Sae was genius midfielder for Re Al. He likely had triple the amount Isagi was being offered by Bastard. His name was already established when Isagi was just getting started.
They were not friends.
He should apologize.
“No.” He answers finally. “He is an annoyance I have to deal with.”
“I see.” He does not.
He once wished to have siblings. A younger brother with whom he could play football. He would teach him everything he knew. Isagi was heartbroken when his parents laughed at his request.
He could not imagine being so indifferent to his younger brother like Itoshi Sae was.
“No, you don’t.” He says. “It’s okay. I don’t expect you to. I don’t expect anyone to understand my brother and I. You’re not an exception to that. I have a stubborn, younger brother determined to annoy me for the rest of his life. That’s it.”
He still did not see but Isagi nods, nonetheless. The Itoshi brothers were confusing. Completely devoid of emotion unless they were on the field or when they’re facing each other. He thinks that perhaps the bonds between siblings are something beyond him. Perhaps it is how they express their love in their own way. Even if the love is through harsh words.
“You should get some rest, striker.” He turns to leave. “I won’t pass to a striker who can’t score goals all because his nerves got the best of him making him unable to rest.”
That was the first glimpse into the enigma that was Itoshi Sae.
A week later they’re flying off for the U20 world cup.
When he stands in front of the seat that was meant to be his, Isagi is looking down at Itoshi Sae occupying the other seat.
“Oh.” He says after a moment of staring at him.
“I changed my seat.” He tells Isagi as he pulls out a book (he reads?) “They put me beside Rin. I suspect it was Ego’s way of pulling a joke. I don’t like jokes. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Uh.” He says feeling dumb. “Why not sit with Shidou?”
He gives him a look as if to ask whether he lost his mind. “Sitting with Shidou for the whole flight? You want me to lose my mind? I already have him rambling in my ear every day, texting me since the U20 match. Apparently, I need to room with him too. I need peace from him for a few hours.”
He keeps on staring at him until someone from behind him, Raichi, loudly tells him to please move it oh my god what is wrong with you?
Isagi blushes and apologizes and quickly sits down.
He glances around seeing the others from his team chatter with their seatmates. Reo being the rich kid that he was and refusing to travel (or let Nagi travel) in anything less than first class had gone ahead and paid for the entire first-class wing for the team.
I’d get our private jet but there’s too many of us. Reo complained. We could take our second jet, but apparently my father and mother are travelling for business this week.
Damn rich people.
Itoshi Sae had simply shrugged at Reo’s explanation and agreed. Said it was better this way because he was considering buying his own tickets.
I don’t like flying Economy.
Damn prodigious athletes getting paid hundreds of millions. Isagi didn’t know how much Itoshi Sae was getting paid by Re Al. Definitely more than he was getting paid by Bastard. Even till the end Kaiser was still the highest paid footballer out of all of them from the NEL. He still remembers the first time he saw Kaiser’s offer of 300 million from Bastard. The distance between him and Kaiser felt insurmountable then. He doesn’t need to add Itoshi Sae into this equation too.
He's already busy enough with keeping an eye on Rin.
“You seem to be deep in thoughts.” Itoshi Sae asks.
“Oh... I- uh…” he hesitates glancing about. He couldn’t really tell him I was wondering about your salary from your club. How many zeros are in your check? “I was surprised you read. That’s all. I never saw Rin reading.”
He furrows his brows, pursing his lips. “Rin and I aren’t one and the same just because we share parents.”
Isagi winces at that. He nods. Maybe he should have just said he was a nervous flier. That would have been less embarrassing.
“I’m learning how to understand German.” He holds up the book.
Isagi studies the cover with the English alphabets. His English skills are basic. Enough to communicate in times of emergency, but even with his basic skills he can say that the words on the cover aren’t in English.
“I see. I didn’t know you were studying German. You live in Spain, don’t you?”
“I do. But studying languages is a way to pass time. It’s easy to pick up languages for me. Besides,” he scowls again now. “We have an annoying German striker joining soon, and I’d rather know what nonsense he is speaking so I’m not clueless.”
“You should be grateful really. Kaiser talks too much. I think he likes his voice too much. So, try to pretend you don’t understand him for as long as you can for your own sanity. Sometimes I wish we didn’t have the Mikage headphones during the NEL so I could pretend I didn’t understand the bullshit that came out of his fucking mouth and- oh.” Isagi stops.
Cursing in front of someone else wasn’t something he was fond of. It came out during the games. That was one time he excused himself. But off the field his manners kicked in and he could hear his mother’s voice in his head, nagging and reminding him how it was uncouth to curse in public.
“I’ve heard you say worse things during the games.” Itoshi Sae points out.
“It’s not like I can control that.” He scowls. “It just happens.”
“Ah yes.” He nods. “Calling someone a loser, donkey, waste of space, a fucking idiot, and other similar things just happen.”
Isagi feels his cheeks heat up at the reminder. In his defense, he never intended to call his friends those. It just slipped out. He does apologize for it later.
Isagi glares at him and, to his surprise, he sees Itoshi Sae’s eyes light up. The corner of his mouth curling up a bit.
“If this is how the rest of the flight is going to be then I see why Rin didn’t want to sit beside you.”
“I didn’t want to sit beside him. Not him. I suspect he’d trade seats with you easily.”
“What is your issue with him?” Isagi asks finally.
Every time he asks the answer is always, there’s no issue. It’s just siblings.
But do siblings really hate being around each other to this point? To the point he’d rather sit beside a stranger to not tolerate his brother’s presence?
“I dislike his insistence on being my brother when he’s on the field. So long as he holds onto such sentiments, he will never be the best.” He says.
“So, you don’t hate him?”
“I told you before, didn’t I? I find him annoying, but,” here he hesitates for a moment then looks up towards the airhostess at the front going through the safety reminders. Isagi should pay attention. He’s never flown on a plane before. He should listen, but he can’t take his eyes off Itoshi Sae’s face.
He has known him for barely two weeks now. Even then the most they ever interacted before this was that one night when Isagi was caught practicing late or when they’re on the same side of the field. He does not communicate with words when they’re on the field. Itoshi Sae merely gestures with a slight tilt of his head where he needs you to be, and the ball will be right there.
Isagi learned to keep an eye on him when he moves. The more he studies him the better he will be.
And now, he studies his face. The conflicting emotions within it as he speaks of his brother.
“I do care for him.” He admits. “But the path he chose is a hard one. Football is hard. It’s a harsh path. Niceties won’t help him progress. If Rin is too busy thinking about how to be the brother of the best player, then he will never be the best player himself.”
When he looks at Isagi, his eyes are dull, haunted. “Football is merciless. Especially in the European leagues. If I were nice to Rin, he’d never be the player he is today.”
He says no more after that.
The plane starts to move.
Isagi looks away.
The first match was four days after their arrival. Japan in Group C with Colombia, Brazil, and Senegal with their first match being against Colombia.
They spent the first day resting, lounging, doing whatever they wanted so long as they didn’t go too wild and arrived on the grounds in perfect condition next morning. They were lucky to get the grounds from a university nearby for their practice.
Every day, they had to walk past the media clamoring for attention from them. Screaming their names. All the result of Blue Lock.
He leans against the window, watching the setting sun. How much his life had changed. Less than a year ago he was home. Right now, he’d likely be practicing or discussing the upcoming U20 tournament with his friends. He’d debate on who’d win and who’d lose. And he wouldn’t believe that Japan could win.
Except now, he was Japan. And he would win.
(He doesn’t have any other option.)
“Nervous?” He hears.
He turns to see Itoshi Sae beside him.
By now, he doesn’t question it whenever he sits beside him. He stopped wondering how he managed to sit beside Isagi before Bachira or Chigiri or Hiori managed to snag it. He stopped wondering why him.
He simply accepted it. Especially after seeing Shidou badger him during their practice. That, at least, he can sympathize with. And admire as well because not everyone can listen and tolerate Shidou with a straight face for that long.
“Yes.” He admits. “But I’m excited too.”
“Good. You’ll need that excitement for the games.”
He turns and asks, “Do you get nervous?”
He knows he shouldn’t ask. Remembers Rin’s face before the match and knows his older brother would be no different. No, he might be even more apathetic.
Itoshi Sae had eyes on him since he was a child. Played for Re Al youth since he was 13. Likely played against some of these players during other tournaments during his time in the Youth Academy. He is not nervous. Not like Isagi. Because unlike Isagi he did not declare to the whole world that he would lead Japan to victory.
The bus is quiet. Everyone either snoring away or tapping their phones. The tournament starts tomorrow. Less than 12 hours to go. His heart pounds. He can feel the anxiety pooling in his stomach as he waits for an answer.
He pauses midway from putting on his headphones to glance at Isagi.
“No.”
Of course. What else would he expect?
“There’s nothing to be nervous about. I’ll play fine.” He says, looking back at his phone, frowning a bit as he reads something. “There’s no point in being nervous about something you do daily. I’ll play tomorrow like I play every single day during practice. If I can play perfectly fine during practice what’s stopping me from doing the same tomorrow unless I somehow meet with an accident that renders me unable to step on the field.”
When he looks at Isagi again, his heart stops. When he first saw Itoshi Sae, he thought he looked nothing like Rin. Rin was taller, leaner. Rin’s hair was darker and his face narrower. The only thing about them that was similar was their eyes. But now he realizes that even their eyes were different. Rin’s eyes always glowed with an unspoken rage.
Itoshi Sae’s eyes were different. They seemed to look past you as if you weren’t even there.
Cold. Hiori had said. His eyes are cold.
He looks past you. As if he’s looking at something else but not you.
Now, he’s looking at him. Just at him and Isagi feels his heart quicken again. He thinks he might be blushing too.
“If you can do something normally every day then you can do it on the field too. If you can dribble, shoot, and score fine on a practice field then you can do it on the field of a match too. The only thing that differentiates a practice field from an official one is the crowd. Nothing else. If the crowd terrifies you then this is a wrong profession you’re choosing.”
“Besides, you should be used to it. You and the others from Blue Lock above all else?”
“Huh?” Isagi blinked. “What do you mean?”
The disappointed look he gives him makes Isagi want to shrivel. He felt awfully lot like he was back in school, and his teacher had called on him for the answer to a question he should know but is unable to answer.
It made him want to bow his head and apologize.
“You’ve been constantly fighting to stay in Blue Lock since the start. The first selection and then the second selection. Then the U20 match and the NEL. You’ve had people’s eyes on you constantly. It’s just rare that you had to face it. This is no different. Tune it out.”
“You performed your best then, didn’t you? Now you’re even better so you’ll be better too.”
He didn’t say it to lie to him. He was being honest. He truly believed Isagi could do it. Could perform flawlessly tomorrow.
“Oh. One more thing.” He frowns at Isagi. “Stop calling me Itoshi on the field. No one calls me that except the reporters. It’s Sae.”
“Not Genius boy?” He teased.
He rolls his eyes. “You need to score the opening goal tomorrow if you want to call me Genius boy.”
Isagi looks away towards the window. When he does, he catches the sight of his face and his smile.
The next day, he scores the opening goal.
He looks over at Sae and grins.
Sae simply crosses his arm, and Isagi hopes he is pleased.
They pass the Group Stage with 2 wins and a tie, ending with them moving forward.
And in every single of those matches, Isagi played just as he always did.
Their first hurdle comes during Quarter finals when they are to play against France.
Rin and Shidou were even more motivated for this game compared to the others. He supposes that’s understandable. Loki wasn’t part of the U20 team. No, he was already elected for the Senior team of France. But Charles was on the U20 team and that was motivation enough for them.
Isagi on the other hand scowls as he receives message after message from Kaiser.
Just one more game, Yoichi.
Do win it. I can ’ t wait to beat you.
Again.
You say that as if you
beat me the last time.
“I suppose that’s Kaiser?”
“You can tell?” Isagi doesn’t need to glance to his side to see Sae join him on the balcony.
“The scowl on your face makes it evident. He has a particular talent of annoying people.”
“What? He texts you too?” He asks in surprise.
Sae’s face twists with displeasure. “I wish he didn’t. But there’s a group chat for the 11 of us considered the best in the youth generation and despite the number of times I’ve left it, I keep on being added back in it. I have no choice but to bear through with those insufferable people.”
Isagi lets out a laugh. Only Sae would call other world class players insufferable. But then again, he met two of them aside from Sae and if the others are anything like that he understands.
“You’re one of them too.” He points out. “And I’m sure if I were to ask anyone, they’d call you insufferable too.”
He shrugs. “I don’t really mind.”
Sae glances down at his phone and sighs.
“Kaiser?” He asks.
“Hmm?” He asks then shakes his head. “My agent. Just some things to clear up before my return to Spain.”
Right. Spain. He was going back right after this tournament. While Isagi had to wait for Blue Lock to be done before he returns.
What about his school? Does he get to graduate from school here or will he take classes in Germany? Can he even take classes there?
“What are you thinking about now?” Sae asks. “Kaiser? Just ignore him. Silence notifications from him. That’s what I do.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “School. I’m thinking about my school. Do I get to complete it?”
Silence.
“It’s not like I care much about high school. Just that I signed with Bastards, and I’ll likely leave for Germany as soon as I’m done with Blue Lock. So, what about my school?”
He hears Sae sigh.
“School… You’ll get education there. Pretty sure they’ll allow you to take some exam equivalent to a high school diploma. But that’s it. You’ll be too busy with your youth club to go to school properly. It doesn’t really matter.”
Right. Because he’d be a professional football player who would have millions of dollars in his bank before he was even 20. Enough money for him to have a comfortable life back in his hometown for the rest of his life once he retires. If he wants, he could even coach a small team for fun, but he’d never have to truly work.
Somehow it all feels so…
“Weird.” He whispers out loud. “It feels so weird.”
Beside him, Sae leans against the balcony and makes an inquisitive sound. Behind him, the door to the balcony is open and he can hear his friends argue. He hears Rin’s low growls of displeasure while Bachira cackles. He hears Nanase trying to calm Rin down. He could hear Nagi’s whines and Reo’s laughter. He heard Shidou’s loud laughter and Barou screaming at him to shut up.
And beside him was Itoshi Sae, standing in silence, waiting for him to answer his question.
“Just how quick life can change I suppose. A few months ago, I was crying after losing the ticket to get to Nationals. Thinking I can never be a player like Noel Noa. Or, that I would never win the world cup. But here I am. Playing for the U20 cup and aiming to win it. Thinking about my future in a club with Noel Noa.” He lets out a short laugh at the absurdity of it all. At how unrealistic this all was. “It’s all weird and still feels like a weird dream. You know?”
He thinks Sae would say I don’t know because how could he? They were different and-
“A bit.”
Isagi turns quickly in surprise.
“It’s not often that children get scouted to play for European youth teams.” Sae rolls his eyes at Isagi’s look. “It was a dream. I didn’t think it was real until I was playing in Ciudad Re Al. Even then for months after I’d go to sleep at night thinking I’d wake up in the morning back in my bed in Japan.” His lips quirk up in a fond smile. “Those initial days were… something.”
Silence reigned.
Inside, he heard people saying their goodbyes as they left for their own rooms. A proper sleep before tomorrow’s game. He knew that the game against France would be hard. It would only get harder. France. Then Switzerland. Then Germany in the finals.
Kaiser in the finals.
Only if they win. Which they had to win because he wanted to defeat Kaiser on an international stage. Dethrone him properly in front of the world and lift the silver trophy in the air like he dreamt.
He should follow suit. Should say his goodbyes to Sae and go back to his room and sleep.
But he wants to stay here. He realizes he’s come to enjoy these conversations with Sae when they’re alone. In the morning when they’re on their way to the university grounds and everyone on the bus except Ego still half asleep, or actually sleeping in Nagi’s case. In the evening, when they’re on their way back from the grounds and once again everyone was either asleep or busy on their phones trying to get a few minutes of peace after the grueling training that Ego put them through. The conversations are never long. Sae wasn’t a man of words. But Isagi enjoyed the little he offered.
And now he wanted to know more.
“Tell me.” He hears himself say. “Of your first days in Spain. Tell me about Re Al.”
“What do you want to know?” Sae cocks his head at him.
Everything. He wants to say.
“Whatever you want to tell me.”
Sae begins.
“He is ridiculous.” Sae scoffs.
Isagi follows his gaze to where Shidou picked up Charles and spun him around. Isagi chuckles at the sight of Charles waving his arms and giggling while Shidou was laughing. Karasu behind them, chiding them both and ordering Shidou that it was time to return to their side of the grounds the match is over! You can bother him later when you go to Paris, you dumbass!
“He is your friend.” Isagi points out.
Sae scoffs but does not deny. Which Isagi thinks is a major improvement to his character. He thinks Shidou is the only one he can call Sae’s friend without any protest from him. He’d likely kill himself before he admits Aiku is a friend and he’d definitely kill himself before he calls the rest of the U20 team his friends.
(Do you have friends? He asked him the night before.
You don ’ t have friends in Youth. You only have competitors.
He didn’t expand on that. He told Isagi of his initial days in Spain. The time difference. Jet lag. The language barrier—there was no Mikage headphones. You have it easier—the food.
But he didn’t speak about his training.
When asked, his gaze would drift. His eyes lost. His face darkened.
He didn’t quite speak about his days in Re Al. He praised their facilities. The coaches. But nothing more. He scowled when Isagi mentioned Luna, but didn’t say anything beyond a he’s an excellent striker.)
The team makes it off the fields, chattering excitedly. They were past the Quarter finals and now they were on their way to the Semis. Then the finals.
“I’m exhausted.” He groans.
“Tired so easily?”
“Easily?” He glares at Sae. “The fucking Defense was relentless okay. You’d be tired too if you had to almost wrestle with those players. Not to mention the continuous additional time.”
The ending goal was scored almost 20 minutes after the 90 minutes were up. Isagi was so tired by the end of it that he almost didn’t care that Rin was the one who scored the ending goal.
Almost.
Sae shrugs. “You need to be fix your stamina. Work on that more.”
“Yes, coach.” Isagi grumbles.
Sae just gives him a look but says nothing more. Isagi follows after him to the bus and quietly plops down beside him.
He doesn’t realize that at one point he’s fallen asleep.
Not until he’s woken up by Sae’s gentle prodding and he lifts his head up, from Sae’s shoulder, and is blinking up at him and-
Oh.
He’s close.
So close Isagi can count his lashes. (He really does have long lashes.) And they both stare at each other for a moment.
His heart leaps. His mouth is dry and heavy. And for a moment, just a moment, the world around him stops. He can’t hear anything but Sae’s quiet breath. Can’t feel anything except for Sae’s warmth pressed against his side. Can’t see anything but Sae.
Oh. He’s pretty. He knew the Itoshi brothers were pretty but Sae was pretty.
Something frizzles in between them. Something so potent he can almost reach out and touch. Almost taste it.
And then Sae clears his throat and the illusion breaks.
“We’re here.”
“Okay.” Isagi whispers and slowly moves away.
(Perhaps it was then that things changed?)
(Or maybe it changed the moment they met.)
“Yoichi.” Kaiser drawls, his voice grating and already causing Isagi’s temper to rise. “Are you ready to lose?”
“That’s my question to you.” He shoots.
Around them the crowd screams. He hears people scream his name. Kaiser’s name. Their names in unison. And he tries not to grimace at that. He dislikes being associated with Kaiser, but NEL quite literally forced them to be paired up. He had no choice then. And he has little choice now to stop him unless he wants the news to report how unruly Isagi Yoichi is to not even greet his former teammate nicely. Arguments are fun when you’re on the field playing against each other. Arguments are damaging to your value if you punch your former teammate before a game even starts.
“Little Yoichi,” Kaiser sings, slinging his arm around Isagi’s shoulder and it takes everything in him to not push him off. (Perhaps everything will be worth it if he can get Kaiser off him.) Kaiser presses closer, ignoring Isagi’s stiffening body. “It will be so lovely to see you crushed under my feet.” He whispers in his ear.
Isagi shivers, glaring at Kaiser and almost shoves him off when an icy voice cuts in.
“Stop manhandling my striker, Kaiser. It’s poor sportsmanship to impair your opponent before a game.”
“It’s not impairing someone.” Kaiser grins at Sae but he does relent and steps away from Isagi. “It’s greeting my dear Yoichi.”
Isagi glares at him as he walks away towards Sae. Sae glances at him.
(And for a moment he thinks his eyes soften. That Sae’s ever so cold and distant eyes warm for a moment but that’s an illusion because this Itoshi Sae. Calm composed Itoshi Sae who doesn’t even wilt under the harsh glare from his little brother. Who fearlessly looks at Ego and challenges his decisions. Who looks at opponents from stronger teams and never wavers. Itoshi Sae’s eyes do not soften for anyone. Especially not Isagi.)
But Sae’s eyes don’t leave his. Not until he stands beside him. Kaiser snorts a laughter as he looks at them. His eyes glowing wickedly as he leers at Sae.
“Sae, Sae, Sae.” He sings, running a hand through his hair. “Oh, this is delightful! How fun! Had I known you were this protective of your strikers I would have moved to Re Al faster!”
Sae stares at him blankly. “Your Manager is calling.”
And indeed, over on their side, the Manager for the German team is standing with a scowl on his face as he glares at Kaiser. Kaiser waves his hand carelessly and steps back.
“Let’s meet each other on the field. Enjoy your last game together.” Kaiser grins at them. “After this game, you’re my midfielder, Itoshi Sae.”
He turns his back, walking away towards his team, leaving Isagi behind to ponder on his words.
Last game.
Of course.
How could he forget? This was his last game with Sae. After tonight, they’ll play on opposing sides until World Cup, but that’s still three years later. And that is if they get selected for the team.
Of course, you will. He hears a voice that sounds so much like Sae’s.
But even then, it’s three years away. He won’t play with him for another three years. When they see each other, it will be on opposing sides of the field. Sae won’t be on his side. He won’t look at him from across the field like he does now. He won’t be on the receiving end of Sae’s perfect pass. He won’t get to have their early morning talks. Or their evening talks. He won’t get to call him genius boy.
He won’t even be in the same country as Sae.
And it all hits at once that this is really the last time he’ll get to play with Sae until the World Cup in three years.
And it burns. The revelation twists inside of him and it burns, and he seethes at the reminder. At Kaiser’s gloating face. At the reminder that Sae is his midfielder for tonight, but Kaiser gets to have him for years after. Kaiser will have him for LaLiga and the Champion’s League.
Isagi will be lucky if he gets to have him for World Cup.
He hears their names being called. Sae turns to go but Isagi reaches out.
“You once said you’d never play for Japan in World Cup.” He grasps Sae’s jersey tight. “Do you still believe in that?”
Sae doesn’t say anything as he looks at Isagi. His gaze inquisitive as he looks down at Isagi.
Around them, the cheers grow louder. The people wait.
But so does Isagi. He waits. Aches for the answer. Needs to know for sure.
“I don’t know.” He tells him. “It depends on whether there is a striker good enough to receive my passes.”
He burns. He wants to clutch him tighter. He wants to grip his face, so Sae looks at him and only him and wants to demand Am I not good enough? Am I not enough? And perhaps he is angry and bitter because a part of him thinks that if he was Luna or Noel or even Kaiser, they’d simply demand that Sae be there for them. That he must to be there.
But he isn’t Noel or Luna or Kaiser. He isn’t Loki who found a perfect protegee to train. He isn’t any of them.
He is Isagi Yoichi. Blue Lock, team Z, rank 299.
But he is also Isagi Yoichi. Bastard München, Striker, Rank 2.
And he is an egoist.
He won’t beg. He won’t demand.
“Then give me your best shot.” He orders, looking up at him. Unflinching from Sae’s gaze. “Throw me your hardest passes. I’ll get them all. I’ll score as many goals you need.”
Sae doesn’t smile. He rarely ever smiles.
But his eyes glow with approval.
He says nothing but nods.
Then they walk towards their team.
He sees the countdown. Two minutes until the end. The score is 3-3. Would have been 3-2 if it weren’t for Kaiser’s last goal. How he wanted to punch him in the face after that smug smile he threw.
But Isagi had other things to worry about.
Which was the last goal.
He scored the first goal that night within the first ten minutes. His teammates jumping at him as he roared.
And now he wanted to score the winning goal. He didn’t need to look at his teammates to know they all felt the same. Some of them might have relegated to other positions but the urge to score goals burns within all of them. Blue Lock did that to them. Stroked the dying embers until it was a raging inferno. Until they were all greedy for glory. Hungering after it.
But the last goal was his.
Rin glances at him, more accurately he glares, and they both run. Behind him, he hears Shidou follow suit.
They weave past the incoming defenders. Isagi does not care. He does not look at them.
He doesn’t even need to look at the ball, which is still far, far away from him.
The ball will be there.
Throw me your hardest passes. I ’ ll get them all. I ’ ll score as many goals you need.
He doesn’t look at Sae. Sae’s eyes burn in his mind. His unwavering faith.
The heart of Blue Lock.
A striker worthy of my pass.
If there’s any one on his team that he knows would get the ball to him, it would be Sae.
He doesn’t even glance to his left as he runs for the goal. He hears the orders to stop him. It doesn’t stop him though.
Soon the ball is in front of him.
He doesn’t hesitate as he shoots.
He watches the ball soar. Watches as the goalkeeper’s hand slightly grazes the ball.
Then.
The crowd roars.
His teammates jump on his back cheering. He watches the scoreboard change from 3 to 4.
Then he looks at Sae and grins.
Sae simply crosses his arm, and Isagi knows he is pleased.
The celebration afterwards is thunderous. They’re all underage so officially there’s no alcohol, but he can tell someone (likely Karasu and Aiku) spiked the drinks because the juice tastes slightly bitter. Someone got a karaoke machine. Reo already told them he’s paying the hotel extra, so they let them stay in this large event hall for the whole night to party as much as they want to.
Anri-san was here for a while. Sobbing as she congratulated them while Ego berated her for a win that was expected.
Now it was just the 23 of them. Someone (Sendo) was singing horribly while others cheered him on. Someone (Barou) argued with someone (Nagi). (Truly when will they ever stop?) Someone (Shidou) was on top of a table, dancing while someone (Hiori) was recording and giggling. Someone (Rin) was sulking while someone (Bachira) was trying to coax him out of it to join them all.
In short, it was a mess.
For a while, he joined them all. He sang horribly along with Chigiri, who surprisingly had a sweet voice. He laughed with Shidou who was cussing him and picking him up and spinning him around in celebration. He managed to talk to Rin for a few seconds before Rin was saying— I will kill you, Isagi, come here—and he ran from that mess. He swayed along with his team, his friends, under the shining golden lights of the too expensive hotel, his medal around his neck as he giggled and laughed.
It took him a while to realize that Sae wasn’t there.
Unsurprising.
He’s never there.
Isagi frowns and looks for him.
When he can’t find him, he finds the next best person.
“Shidou!” He shouts, grabbing the pink haired guy’s jacket and pulling him down. “Where’s Sae?”
Shidou smirks at him and Isagi tries to not blush. He doesn’t think he’s succeeding but whatever.
“Out in the balcony.”
Of course.
Introverted asshole. He’d probably sniff and pretend he’s too good for all of this.
“I’ll get him.” He tells Shidou.
Shidou laughs at that.
It’s unlikely that he’ll join them. It’s more likely that Isagi will end up staying in the balcony with him.
He finds that he doesn’t really mind.
When he opens the door, he hears Sae before he sees him in the dark.
He’s speaking to someone on his phone. An unfamiliar language.
He glances behind him and sees Isagi. Then quickly mutters something into his phone before hanging up.
“Shouldn’t you be dancing on top of table tops?”
“You do know I’m Isagi and not Shidou, right?”
“I’ve interacted with enough of you from Blue Lock to know that all of you share one quality: Insanity. It wouldn’t be surprising to see all of you follow in his footsteps.”
He rolled his eyes as he steps beside Sae, leaning against the cool railing. He looks out to the city in front of him. For a moment, there was silence. Silence, he appreciates because he’s always surrounded by a chaotic bunch and sometimes it can get too much.
“So, did I live up to your expectation?” He grins, looking at Sae.
He expects a sharp retort shooting him down. He expects something dry.
But-
“You were just what I imagined.” Sae breathes out.
Isagi’s breath hitches at the admission. His eyes widen as he looks at Sae. He can barely make out his features but his eyes.
His eyes are warm.
He can’t speak. This doesn’t feel real.
He wants to laugh. Wants to celebrate this win because this feels just as sweet as holding the trophy up high. Just as sweet as seeing his worth be over 200 million Yen and the contract from Bastards in front of him.
This was invaluable too.
“I must cherish this moment.” He whispers. “A praise from the great Itoshi Sae? Wow. If Rin hears this, I think he might actually kill me.”
Sae rolls his eyes.
“You think I’m joking, but I’m really not. He already threatened to kill me for the winning goal. This might seal the deal. I don’t think he’d care if he loses his career.”
And it’s soft but he hears Sae laugh. Or maybe he is hallucinating. Maybe his alcohol tolerance was shitty and the little alcohol in the spiked juice was causing him to hallucinate this moment.
He wants to record this sound and play it over and over again. He wants to lock it away where no one will ever find it. He wants to covet it. Sae’s smiles and laughter because they are so precious. Something he rarely gives to others and Isagi…
He is so greedy because he wants it all.
“Will you be here for the World Cup?” He asks, his heart beating faster. And he wants.
He wants. He wants as much as he wants to be the best striker in the world.
Blue Lock cultivated this greed in him and now he can’t help but want.
“Perhaps.” Sae mused. “I think there’s a striker that’s good enough to receive my pass.”
And Isagi grins. He leans forward and-
The door slams open.
He hears the loud screams of others who join them, screaming their name. Someone grabs him and pulls him inside. He looks behind to see Sae. His face stony and displeased. He looks at Isagi with an unreadable look and he wants to reach out.
But Raichi grabs him and pulls him forward.
Then he’s lost.
He wakes the next morning, groaning and massaging his temple. He stares up at the ceiling. Last night was a blur towards the end. He remembers laughing and screaming and perhaps dancing? Oh god did Shidou get him to dance on a table? He needs to find Hiori’s phone.
Then he remembers Sae.
He remembers the laugh.
He remembers.
Perhaps.
He shoots up.
He needs to-
Change and go down and speak to Sae.
He was definitely drunk. Leaning in like that to what? What was he thinking? He clearly wasn’t thinking.
He stumbles over as he moves. He hears a cuss and sees the lump on the other bed. Raichi was here. He doesn’t care. He moves quickly. Quickly changes into the cleanest outfit he can find before he’s running out of his room.
He runs over to Shidou’s room.
He stands outside the door, nervous, and then knocks quickly.
In his mind he runs through the scenarios.
Sorry for last night.
Or,
I’m not sorry but hey do you want to talk about it? Preferably over cakes. Or just food in general.
Or,
I shouldn’t have done that.
Or,
I want to do that again but this time I don ’ t want others to stop us.
Or-
The door opens.
Shidou stands in front of the door, yawning as he squints at Isagi.
“What’s up?” He yawns.
“Sorry.” He mumbles. “I just… is Sae up yet? I need to talk to him.”
Shidou pauses midyawn and blinks. He stares at him in disbelief.
“You… don’t you know?”
His heart sinks. “Know what?”
“Sae is gone. His flight was early this morning. He’s gone back to Spain already.”