Chapter Text
Oikawa's legs felt horribly stiff after over a 20 hour flight journey from Brazil to Tokyo. Oikawa hadn’t been back to Tokyo since he came home to renounce his citizenship from his birthplace. It was a difficult decision for Oikawa then and yet, coming back seemed to be even more rigorous than leaving everything he had ever known behind. Oikawa had found happiness elsewhere, doing the one thing he loved more than anyone, volleyball. He made new friends and formed even tighter bonds with new teammates. He played in the Olympics for Argentina and he loved spending time with Hinata in Brazil. But, stepping out into the familiarly cool air of a night in Tokyo, Oikawa felt an unwelcoming dread creep up into his stomach. Was this why he decided to leave so quickly? Was this feeling always there? Oikawa never felt like this ever when coming back to Japan so, why now? Oikawa chopped it up to his nerves for his upcoming month of plans but knew that wasn’t true. Oikawa caught the next train to his destination.
Oikawa arrived in Sendai about an hour later, his exhaustion was catching up to his body as he dragged his feet to the apartment. He fumbled with the keys that were given to him years ago, allowing himself into the dark apartment. He dragged himself and his luggage into the comforting living room and down the hallway to an empty guest room. Oikawa shut the door gently behind him and plopped down onto the soft bed, falling into a much needed deep sleep.
A bright light beamed through the open window across the room. The room was painted in a golden hue, lighting up his deep brown eyes. Oikawa rubbed his eyes and sat up, checking the time, 9:03 am. He groaned softly and decided to get up. Venturing out into the darker hallway, the apartment smelled of eggs and pancakes. Oikawa’s lips lifted into a small smile as he made his way to the kitchen, seeing his old friend preparing breakfast for the two of them.
“Good morning, Oikawa.” Sugawara flashed a welcoming smile towards his friend.
Oikawa moved further into the kitchen, “Good morning to you too, Suga.”
Oikawa and Sugawara's friendship was unexpected, to say the least. In high school, they didn’t really talk to each other but hung out once after graduation and found they had a lot in common. They stayed in touch all this time and whenever Oikawa came back to Japan he would stay with Sugawara. They sat down at the small dining room table in Sugawara’s apartment and chatted.
“So, what are you back in Sendai for? Y’know, usually I would think you have business in Tokyo…” Sugawara trailed off whilst shoving fluffy pancakes in his mouth.
Oikawa sighed softly at the matter, “Just felt like I needed to come…home…” Oikawa set down his cup of coffee.
Sugawara frowned, he knew something else was going on with Oikawa. “Are you sure that’s all? When you told me you were coming home you sounded pretty upset about the whole thing, almost like you were being forced to come…” Sugawara took a sip of his tea.
Oikawa flashed a weak smile at Sugawara. “I mean Hanamaki and Matsukawa did kind of force me to come here so I guess you’re right…” He ended his statement with a chuckle.
Sugawara laughed in surprise, “Really? What for? Did they just miss their best buddy?”
Oikawa’s smile turned more genuine, “I guess so, they just planned a ton of stuff for us to do while I was off and forced me to catch a flight out.”
Sugawara shook his head while smiling, “Those two certainly know when you need a break. Speaking of, have you talked to Iwaizumi?”
The mere mention of his name dried up Oikawa’s mouth and sent that feeling of dread back to his stomach, making him consider hurling his breakfast into the nearest toilet. He hadn’t talked to Iwaizumi since he renounced his citizenship from Japan. Iwaizumi went with him to do it and afterwards left Oikawa at his departure gate. He could still see the hurt on Iwazumi’s face in front of him. He had never meant to hurt his best friend so badly. Even though Iwaizumi said he was happy for Oikawa, they both knew the truth. He didn’t want to renounce his citizenship but, he had built so much in Argentina. Oikawa knew that renouncing his citizenship meant losing Iwaizumi, yet he still doesn’t know why he did it.
Sugawara must’ve noticed the setter’s suddenly greenish color. “Sorry to bring it up…just thought it might be something to think about since you know… you guys haven’t talked in a long time.”
Sugawara was right, it had almost been two years since Oikawa had last seen or spoken to Iwaizumi. He wanted to reach out again but never felt like the time was right.
Oikawa sighed and shook his head, “No it’s okay, it’s a good thing you brought it up because honestly I had been avoiding thinking about him” He ended with a smile and a laugh, he was perfectly fine.
Sugawara shrugged and stood up from the table, “Maybe you should text him then, see if he was invited to all your little outings…” Sugawara left Oikawa in a nervous, overthinking mess, the thought of texting Iwaizumi making Oikawa cringe in on himself.
Sugawara was right, what was the harm in texting Iwaizumi to ask him a simple question? Everything. Everything was wrong with texting Iwaizumi again, Oikawa thought. He sighed to himself and flipped over onto his back on the couch. He scrolled through the channels until he found something suitable to fill the room with noise while he thought about this. Sugawara had told Oikawa to finally text Iwaizumi again a whopping 3 days ago and he still hadn’t done it. His first meet up with Hanamaki and Mattsun was tomorrow for fuck’s sake. Oikawa needed to see if Iwaizumi was going to be there before he just showed up.
Oikawa sighed again and opened his phone for the 100th time, scrolling through his texts to find Iwaizumi’s name. His fingers hovered over the glowing screen, trying to work up the courage to tap on Iwaizumi’s icon and send him a message. Oikawa weighed the pros and cons in his head. If he somehow managed to send a measly text to Iwaizumi, would he even respond? If he did, what would he say? Would he bring everything up? Would Iwaziumi tell Oikawa that he hates him and never wants to hear from him again? Oikawa’s head reeled with the many possibilities of this situation when he realized, what the hell would he even say? What was there to say to Iwaizumi; Hi, I love you and I miss you and I never ever wanted to leave you and I’m sorry? Oikawa didn’t think that was his best option. He sucked in a deep breath before opening their chat.
Oikawa was met with a familiar scene in front of his eyes. He remembered all the times he would text Iwaizumi just because, laying on his bed having nothing else to do besides bothering his friend. His name in Oikawa’s phone was still Iwa-chan even after everything they had been through, was this even still Iwaizumi’s number? Oikawa decided he would never change Iwaizumi’s name on his phone.
The last conversation they had was about Oikawa leaving. A lump formed in the back of Oikawa’s throat along with a twisting knot in his stomach. He tried to block the messages from his vision by tapping the spot to start typing. Oikawa had nothing to say to Iwaizumi yet his mind swarmed with words and phrases to say. Oikawa took a deep breath before typing out a simple sentence and sent the text without thinking. He shut off his phone and set it face down on the coffee table before he could regret it.
Iwa-channn
1:07 pm: I’m back in Sendai
Oikawa tried to distract himself from the gnawing feeling in his stomach. Maybe he was going to get sick right here on Sugawara’s couch while he was at work for the day. Or maybe Oikawa was going to explode from his nerves. He couldn’t tell which was more likely. Oikawa got up to make what he hoped would be a calming cup of tea but spilled hot water on his hand when he heard the familiar ding of his phone. Oikawa jumped back and set the kettle down before cursing to himself and walking out to the living room. He picked up his phone and turned it over in his hand. Surely enough, there was a text from Iwaizumi across the screen. He hadn’t expected a response at all, especially not one this quick. It had maybe been five minutes. Oikawa opened the message.
Iwa-channn
1:07 pm: I’m back in Sendai
Good to hear. :1:12pm
Why’d you message me? :1:13pm
Two messages?! Oikawa was shocked he even got a response, let alone two. Iwaizumi must’ve missed me too…no, I’m just going crazy, Oikawa thought before responding:
Iwa-channn
1:15 pm: Makki and Mattsun forced me too
1:15pm: said they wanted to “spend time with me” and “reconnect” with a bunch of activities?
1:16 pm: anything sound familiar to you?
Oikawa bit his lip before returning back to the kitchen to finally make his tea. Should he have sent so many messages? Oikawa had finished making his tea when he finally heard another notification on his phone.
Iwa-channn
Yeah I think so. :1:20pm
They invited me for dinner tomorrow, are you invited? :1:21pm
Oikawa sighed and shook his head. Of course Makki and Mattsun would set him up like this.
Iwa-channn
1:24pm: yeah they did
1:24 pm: well i guess i’ll see you tomorrow night then?
Yeah, see you then :1:25pm
Shittykawa :1:25pm
Oikawa gasped softly at the use of the old nickname. He never thought he would hear or see it again. A small smile crept onto Oikawa’s face. He really missed Iwaizumi, he wouldn’t admit that though. Not right now at least. Maybe another time, when he was really drunk and let his emotions get the best of him. Maybe another time when Iwaizumi was right in front of him, ready and able to be there for Oikawa. Oikawa was about to reply when he saw another text pop up on the screen:
Iwa-channn
Would you maybe want to get drinks tonight? :1:27pm
We don’t have too if you’re busy though. :1:27pm
Oikawa’s eyes widened at the sudden invitation. Maybe his inner monologue wasn’t so wrong after all.
Iwa-channn
1:28pm: i’m down, where?
I was thinking of Izakaya? :1:29pm
1:29pm: sounds good to me
1:30pm: does 7:30 work?
Yeah, see you then :1:31pm
1:32pm: see u then iwa-chan!
Oikawa was in disbelief. How had he gone from worrying about if Iwaizumi was ever going to speak to him again to drinking plans with his best friend from high school tonight. Oikawa ran a hand through his hair and called Sugawara, realizing he was on lunch.
Oikawa looked in the mirror of Sugawara’s bathroom. His reflection looked different from what he remembered for some reason. Maybe it was the slight eyeliner Suga had given Oikawa tonight or the soft pink blush on his cheeks. Or maybe it was the glimmer of excitement in his eyes, he was finally going to see Iwaizumi again. Oikawa was wearing a simple sweater and jeans along with his glasses. The bar they were going to was more of a hangout spot so he didn’t want to look too dressed-up. Oikawa sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, he was far too nervous. What was Iwaizumi like now, if he was even any different? Would they fall into old habits or had they drifted too far apart? Oikawa was pulled out of his thoughts by a rough knock on the door. Sugawara’s voice called from the other side.
“Oikawa? Are you ever going to leave the bathroom? It’s already 7:20…”
Oikawa cursed to himself, the bar was about a 15 minute walk, he was already going to make another bad impression on his old friend. Oikawa opened the door to a smiling Sugawara.
“Oikawa you’ll be fine, it’s just Iwaizumi. He wouldn’t have asked you out if he didn’t like you anymore.” Sugawara teased.
“Suga! He did not ask me out! Just invited me for friendly drinks…” Oikawa pouted.
Sugawara laughed at his taller friend. “Whatever Oikawa, just go already!” Sugawara began dragging Oikawa to the front door.
Oikawa stopped him before almost being shoved outside with no shoes on. “Okay, okay fine!” Oikawa got his shoes on, “I’m leaving, I’ll see you later Suga.” he flashed a smile to his gray-haired friend as he walked out of the small apartment and into the night.
Oikawa stuck his hands in his jacket pockets, trying to keep warm. October nights in Sendai weren’t the warmest they’ve been. The walk to Izakaya was just as Oikawa remembered it. These streets were all too familiar to him. He felt like a stranger wandering through the sights of his own past life. Nights spent walking home drunk with Iwaizumi from this exact bar. Nights spent running down the street with his friends to escape practice early. Nights sitting on the side of the street eating ice cream before leaving for a different country with a certain someone Oikawa was on his way to visit now. Oikawa suddenly felt a twinge of loneliness in his heart. He knew these streets like the back of his hand and in no way were the sidewalks empty but, Oikawa felt like he was the last person on earth here; secluded from everyone and everything he had ever known.
Before he knew it, Oikawa was at the bar. He took another deep breath before setting his hand on the door of Izakaya. Sliding the door open and closing it behind him, Oikawa was greeted with a familiar sight in front of him. The same tables, lighting, glasses, and drinks scattered the room. Oikawa looked around until his eyes settled on a familiar face. Iwaizumi was sitting at a table near the back of the bar, sipping on what looked like a bottle of Sake. It was the same table they used to sit at when they were younger.
Oikawa smiled and waved a hand in the air at Iwaizumi, he walked over once he caught his attention. Taking his seat across from Iwaizumi, Oikawa flashed a smile. He heard something that he possibly would’ve never heard again.
“Hey…”