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“Hey Yukio, you go on ahead without me. I need to go to the bathroom real quick.” Rin said as he saw his twin leaving the kitchen. He quickly washed the plate in his hands before drying it.
“Okay Rin, just don’t be late. You don’t pay attention as it is, and you can’t afford to miss any more than you already do.” Yukio said with a look over his shoulder, warning Rin.
Rin hid the hurt with his usual too big grin. “I already told you, I’m a practical learner. Besides, the lessons are boring. It’s not my fault you droning on lulls me to sleep.” Rin said, his grip on the cloth tightening.
“Whatever, just please be on time.” Yukio said with a sigh, clearly not counting on Rin to do so, before leaving the room. The sound of the dormitory door closing following a minute after.
As soon as the door closed Rin’s grin dropped, his face void of emotion. He gave a deep sigh before walking to the bathroom, his tail dragging on the floor. Once inside, he couldn’t help but look at the mirror. His ears and slitted eyes caught his attention immediately.
“He’s such a demon child.”
The longer he stared, the more he could see what they saw. What everyone saw.
He could see the monster in him, the disgusting tell tales of his demon blood. He could see the violent, disastrous thing he was. He did nothing but get in trouble, brought nothing but trouble. Everyone he ever cared about got hurt in one way or another because of him.
His dad was possessed by Satan because of his words.
“Don’t call yourself my father in front of me!”
He hated how those were the last words he spoke to his father, he hated how he let his temper get the best of him. He hated… He hated himself.
He hated how lonely he was, he hated how he was never able to make friends. He tried everything to get people to like him, he tried so hard to be nice. He smiled through their insults, he played along as if their words didn’t cut him down inside. He tried to impress them in any way he knew how, but he always ended up hurting them instead. No matter how hard he tried, he always ended up alone.
He was so happy when Mephisto told him he was going to True Cross Academy, he couldn’t wait to start. True, he was terrible at school and he could never focus, but he saw it as a new beginning. No one would know him besides his brother and he was determined to make a new him.
He began pretending. He forced a smile and optimism as best he could, ignoring the side comments the other Pages would whisper under their breath. He ignored the emptiness he felt since the funeral, the hole that refused to be filled no matter how much he ate. He joked around with them, smiled his too big grin, swallowed the despair.
After a few months, it began to work. He was getting close with the others, becoming friends. He had begun to care deeply for his classmates, he’d do anything to protect them. He felt the hatred close with every genuine laugh, with every happy memory.
For the first time in his life he finally had friends. For the first time in his life he was truly happy. But it didn’t last.
Amaimon forced him to reveal himself, his demon side. The side he hated with every fiber of his being. The side he desperately wanted to keep hidden. And just like that, he was alone again.
Every look held disgust and fear, every side comment held so much resentment. He didn’t blame them, for he was what they were fighting to keep out of their world. Their home. He was a half-demon. Not only just a half-demon, but the son of Satan. Their animosity was understandable, he didn’t blame them a bit for the way they reacted. It still hurts though.
Once everything settled down, he went back to his false cheer. He hoped he would be able to win them back, even though he knew it was unlikely to happen. He smiled and he joked and he acted out more than he usually did to get any type of reaction.
They pretended like he wasn’t even there, like he didn’t exist.
The hole that had begun to close grew at an alarming rate, he almost expected it to swallow him from the inside out. He couldn’t help all the dark thoughts that swarmed him constantly.
If it wasn’t for him, his father would be alive. If it wasn’t for him his friends wouldn’t have gotten hurt by a demon king. If it wasn’t for him..
If it wasn’t for him, everything would be so much better. He was tainted, he was evil, disgusting.. He ruined everything he touched. He didn’t deserve to be happy, didn’t deserve the amazing people he hurt. He didn’t deserve to be here.
Realizing where his thoughts were going, Rin shook his head and turned the faucet on to splash cold water on his face. He couldn’t think like that, even if it was true..
Taking a deep breath, Rin looked back in the mirror and gave his too big smile. There was a crack in the mask that showed the bitter darkness inside him. In a second his mask crumbled, his eyes becoming hollow. Trying again, Rin grinned and was satisfied when it was the epitome of happiness.
After checking the time, he paled. “Shit, Yukio is going to kill me.” He said as he ran out the door, praying Yukio was feeling merciful today.
...
“You’re late.”
Rin flinched at the glare Yukio sent his way, eyes cold. Yukio was going to give him hell. “Heh.. sorry Yukio, guess I ate too much last night.”
“Sit down.” Yukio then went back into the lesson, completely ignoring his presence. The other Pages were focused on whatever Yukio was talking about, the view of a perfect classroom.
Rin’s grin slipped for a second as he went to his desk, separated from everyone else. He sighed softly, wanting to keep the others' attention away from him. He didn’t want to hinder them any more than he already has.
Why did he show up? It wasn’t like he was going to learn anything, he never had in school. He could never focus and any information he gained would disappear the second he walked out of the classroom. He was a practical learner, he needed to do it to learn it.
He wanted to be an exorcist, he needed to be. He had to prove that he wasn’t the monster they made him out to be, but most importantly he needed to avenge his Old Man. He had to kill Satan for bringing him into this world, for giving him his flames. It was the demon's fault he was such a monster.
No matter what he did, he always screwed things up. He was nothing but a fuck up, so what was the point in trying? His brother hated him, his friends wanted nothing to do with him, everyone else wanted him executed.
Why did he hold on to this hope that things would get better? They wouldn’t talk to him, some of them wouldn’t even look at him. His brother was only keeping him alive because of the promise he made to Dad.
What did the Old Man see in him anyway? Why had he tried so hard to raise him, to keep him alive? He was the very thing his Dad sought to destroy, the kind that didn’t belong in Assiah.
None of them wanted him there. Yukio wanted him to die already, Mephisto was using him for his amusement, and Suguro wanted to kill him.
Suguro. He missed him most. He was the one he had to work the hardest to break his shell, and it was well worth it. He acted like a tough guy, but he was really caring. He cared for everyone as if they were family, he was always willing to jump in and protect them. He hated when Rin would run into battle by himself as if he didn’t have anyone to depend on.
He was so touched when Suguro told him that he had people that cared for him, he almost started to cry. He finally had what everyone else had, what Yukio always had.
Well, he used to.
He hated how much he came to depend on the others, he hated how much he needed them. They were his happiness, they were the only thing that made it worth waking up and facing the world. For the first time, he started to trust.
He missed Suguro. He missed the bickering and the name calling and the laughs. He missed the play fights and the little sentimental talks they had that Suguro would adamantly deny having later. It wasn’t until it was too late that he realized he was falling for the Aria, and he couldn’t help but panic. It would end in disaster, it would end in heartbreak.
And it did. If Rin had let himself feel for the brunette, he would have never recovered from the cold shoulder he was receiving now. Having Suguro look at him the way he did, made Rin feel like the dirty monster they all thought him to be. He felt like he didn’t belong in this world, like he did not deserve to be there. It didn’t happen often, seeing as Suguro would do whatever he could most days to avoid looking at the demon.
It was torture being separated from everyone, from Suguro especially. He wanted to talk to them again, to laugh again. He wanted to hang out with them during lunch again and go on missions as a team. However, it didn’t seem like that would happen anytime soon. They didn’t want anything to do with him, and there wasn’t anything he could do about it. He couldn’t make them change their minds about him, not when they were correct.
“Alright class, make sure you get the assignment done. Class dismissed.” Yukio said. The shuffling of materials being put away snapped Rin out of his thoughts. He looked around and noticed that Yukio was already cleaning the board of what he wrote and some Pages already at the door.
Konekomaru ran past Rin, dropping one of the many notebooks piled in his hands. “Oh here Konekomoru, you dropped one of your notebooks,” Rin said as he picked it up, about to hand it to the bald Aria.
Konekomaru’s eyes widened and started darting back and forth. Rin could see the hands around the books tighten.
“O-oh, thank you Okumura-kun..” He said as he refused to look in Rin’s direction. Rin noticed the longer he stood in front of the boy, the more pale Konekomaru got.
“What’s wrong Konekomaru? You look a little pale there.” Rin said as he took a step closer to get a better look. Konekomaru took a hasty stepped back, letting out a small whimper that a human wouldn’t have been able to hear,
But he wasn’t a human. He was a half-demon.
“N-Nothing! Nothing’s wrong.” Konekomaru said as he squeezed his book tighter against him, as if trying to protect himself.
Rin froze when he realized what was happening. The fear was as clear as day on the bald Aria’s face. His mask crashed as he realized how afraid his classmate was of him. His hands fell to his sides and he tried to look Konekomaru in the eyes. “Oh.. you’re afraid of me, aren’t you?” He asked, voice completely void of emotion.
“Don’t-don’t be silly Okumura-kun! I-I’m not afraid of you, even if you are the son of Satan..” Konekomaru winced after having said that. Before he could make it worse, Rin spoke up.
“It’s alright, I thought this would happen.” Rin said, trying to keep his tears at bay. He wasn’t a crybaby damnit! “Don’t worry about it, I understand. I’m sorry for lying to you all the time. I hope you can forgive me. Even if you’re afraid.” Rin gave a feeble smile before walking out of the class room and to the dorm. He was done for the day, no matter what anyone said.
Konekomaru was terrified of him. He was the first one of the exwires to befriend him. He didn’t brush Rin off like everyone else did. Now.. Now he was terrified of Rin.
This was unfair! He lived a miserable life all because he was the son of Satan. Everyone he cared about left him in one way or another, and it was his fault.
“You should turn yourself into the headquarters, or just die..”
His own brother told him that. Yukio, the one he always protected. The one he loved more than anyone else, besides the Old Man. That was his brother, the one who was supposed to be by his side forever. If Yukio could hate him, there was no way anyone else would want anything to do with him.
“Protect me my ass.” He mumbled as he walked into the dorm.
“Hey Rin! You’re back early, is everything alright?” Kuro asked as he ran to the door. His head was cocked to the side, worry clear as day.
“I wasn’t feeling good so I decided to head back early. I’ll be alright Kuro, I’m just going to lie down.” Rin said, brushing past the demon cat, ignoring him as he asked more questions. It seemed like Kuro was the only one who cared about him. The only one that liked him for who he was, demon and all.
He completely passed the kitchen, Ignoring Ukobok as he tried to ask Rin if he wanted a snack. He didn’t have an appetite, hadn’t for a while. The grumble of his stomach was ignored as Rin headed to the room he shared with his twin to lay down. He wanted to be done with everything. He couldn’t stand seeing fear in Konekomaru’s eyes. He could handle the hate from everyone, he’s been used to that for as long as he could remember. But that fear..
It tore at his insides to think that someone he’d do anything to protect, feared him. He would never hurt the Aria, could never hurt anyone he cared about intentionally. But he was a half demon, known to lose control..
Thinking about it, Rin knewthought Konekomaru had every right to be terrified of him. He should be wary of the half-demon because he’s a loose cannon and can’t be controlled. Seeing the fear in the boy’s eyes told Rin that there was no hope. He would forever be alone. The Pages would never come around. He lost his friends for good.
“Just turn yourself into the Headquarters or just die.”
What was the point of being here? No one wanted him around, they hated him. They feared him.
If it wasn’t for his cursed blood, if it wasn’t for his DNA, none of this would be happening. He’d be happy, he’d have friends, he’d have a life…
Rin winced as his nails broke the skin on his palms, blood dripping on the floor. He watched as his blood splattered, creating a random pattern. Due to his demon blood, the wound was already healing. Rin quickly grew irritated; he wasn’t human, he never was.
“He’s such a demon child.”
He was a demon, the son of Satan. He was vile. He was tainted, evil. His fist tightened and punctured the newly healed palms. Droplets of blood fell to the floor, the pain lit up his nervous system. He was surprised at how the pain made him feel. The flush of relief spread across his arms before retreating again as the wound closed.
Without thinking, he began digging his nails down his arms, hissing as his flesh tore. The pain flooded his system as his tainted evil blood dripped on the floor. Rin sat there, painting throughout the pain. It lasted longer than the first time, but it wasn’t enough.
The wounds kept healing and the pain he deserved would fade away. Growling, Rin looked around the room, looking for anything that could help. He needed the pain, it was the only thing that was consistent in his life. No matter where he went, pain would follow. So why was it running away from him now?
Rin was so enthralled in his search for something that would give him some peace, that he did not hear Kuro yelling at Rin, asking if he was okay. He didn’t notice him leave either.
His search became even more desperate as the harsh words from everyone in his life began to play in his head.
“He’s such a demon.”
“He’s the devil!”
“Half ass punks like you should just get the hell outta’ our sight.”
“Give yourself up or just die.”
Rin gave a relieved sigh when he found a knife and a bottle of Holy Water in one of Yukio’s drawers. Grabbing the knife, he began to cut into his blood soaked arms. The pain, though lasted longer, was not nearly enough. He needed more, had to have more. He looked between the knife and the Holy Water as he got an idea.
He poured a little bit of Holy Water on the blade and dragged it against his clothed thigh. The pain increased threefold and he let out a groan as the pain hit, the edges around the wound sizzling a bit as it tried to cleanse the impurity.
Impurity. He was impure., He could never do anything right because he was tainted by this wretched blood that was pouring out of the gash on his thigh.
He had to get rid of this impure blood. He didn't want it anymore. Pouring more of the blessed water on the knife, he began digging it into his flesh, biting back the overwhelming amount of pain that flooded his system.
By now, the floor was covered with blood. The stench was making him extremely dizzy, or maybe it was the amount of blood he lost. His healing ability could only work so fast. Rin stared at the two objects that quickly became doubled. He could feel himself swayingsway and knew he’d pass out soon.
Was he going to die? Did he push too far trying to reach, reaching for the thing that made him feel human again? But he wasn’t a human, he was never human. He was born a demon and he was going to die a demon. Whether the Order did it or he was killed in battle, he would always be a demon.
“You have two options: allow yourself to be killed by us or kill us and flee. Ah.. there’s also the option of suicide.”
Mephisto’s words came back to him, his delirious mind having trouble concentrating.
He was not going to let them kill him. He knew they would torture him and experiment on him before they did. He wasn’t going to die in battle either; he wouldn't forgive himself if he did. But.. Did it matter? With the way things were going, this place was already Hell. How much worse could the actual place be; because he definitely wasn’t going to Heaven.
Rin’s stomach began to churn, the emptiness of it worsening the feeling of needing to throw up. He stumbled to the Kirikana and clumsily unsheathed it. Instantly, blue flames covered his being and his healing kicked in faster.
He didn’t want the cursed flames, didn’t want this power. It ruined everything in his life and made him completely miserable. He couldn’t take it anymore. Seeing the flames surround him, the same flames that engulfed his Old Man and took away the one person that cared for him, filled him with rage.
“You’re such an idiot Dad.” Rin mumbled as he looked at the blade. “You gave your life up to care for a lost cause. You should have let me die in the snow.” He shook his head as tears began to well in his eyes.
Aggressively whipping them, he poured the rest of the Holy Water on the Kirikana. His chest began to burn, feeling like he was melting from the inside out. He knew the blade held his demon heart, he just wasn’t expecting it to burn so much.
Rin relished in the excruciating pain as it began to cloud his mind from all the things they all said. All of them, besides his twin.
“Just die.”
“Just die.”
“Just die.”
“SHUT UP!!” He yelled as he angled the sword towards his chest, ready to end all the pain and struggling.
“What the hell are you doing!?” Someone yelled before yanking the sword from his hands.
Rin’s head swam as he was shaken by whoever took the sword from his hands. Their large hands holding his shoulders in a tight grip. “Why the hell would you do such a thing!? What’s the matter with you!?” They asked furiously as their grip tightened.
“Can’t.. do it anymore..” He mumbled as his limbs got heavy. HIs vision darkened quickly as he closed his eyes. The last thing he saw was Suguro’s angry and slightly worried expression.
…
The first thing Rin became aware of was the rhythmic high pitch beep.
‘Am I dead?’
Faintly, he could hear whispered mummers wherever he was. Deciding he was alive, he debated whether or not he wanted to alert the people in the room of his consciousness. He knew there would be questions to answer but he wasn’t up for them at all. He feared his brother’s reaction most.
‘How could you fuck up something so simple?’
‘Shut it four eyes! It’s not my fault I got saved!’
“Rin? Are you awake?” Shiemi’s voice crashed over his internal rant.
Rin froze at the question, only just realizing his tail was thumping against the bed in agitation. The damn thing had a mind of its own. Not wanting to deal with anyone, he pretended to be asleep. “Hm.. maybe I was seeing things.” Shiemi said.
“No you were right, the idiot is just trying to play us for a fool. Open your damn eyes and face what you did!” Suguro yelled. He was quickly warned to settle down or be forced to leave by the nurse.
“Rin.. please open your eyes.” Shiemi begged and he couldn’t help but obey the broken plea. Opening his eyes, he saw the mix of fear and relief in her big green eyes. Eyes that were quickly filling with tears.
“Hey.. what’s up?” He croaked, immediately swallowing to try and wet his dry throat.
“ ‘Hey, what’s up?’ Is that really all you have to say after what you’ve done!?” Suguro shouted before getting his final warning.
“Suguro, please settle down.” Yukio asked as he stared at Rin, his expression too complex for Rin to read.
“Settle down!? You want me to settle down after what I saw!?”
“Sir, you are disturbing the patient. I’ve warned you, now I’m asking you to leave.” The nurse said. Despite being more than a head shorter than him, she wouldn’t let her order be ignored.
“It’s alright, he can stay.” Rin said as he refused to look at Suguro. Shame filled him as he listened to the Aria. He even failed at killing himself, making Suguro witness a sight no sane person would ever want to see.
“Alright fine, but the second you start to become distressed, everyone is leaving. Is that understood?” They all nodded, not wanting to irritate her more.
It was silent as she checked Rin’s vitals, no one dared to speak in her presence. When she was done, she looked at everyone and huffed. “Exorcists.” She grumbled before leaving the room.
The tension continued to grow as no one spoke up. Rin could feel the disappointment growing from his twin. He had failed at the one thing Yukio told him to do. Before he could apologize to the middle class exorcist, Suguro spoke up again.
“Why?” He asked, a hard look on his face. Rin looked at him confused and the blond and brunette teen scoffed. “Why did you do it? What were you trying to do?”
Rin thought it was obvious as to what he had tried to do, but answered anyway. “I was trying to kill myself.” He said bluntly. Shiemi gasped and covered her mouth as tears poured down her face. Suguro’s face was one of complete shock while Yukio’s remained blank.
“You.. what?” Suguro asked, his fists clenched at his sides.
“Well, I wasn’t trying to at first. At first.. It was more because I wanted to feel again. Something that’s never been fake or taken away from me.” Rin said, fiddling with the blanket. He couldn’t bring himself to face them, too angry at himself for causing more trouble.
“What do you mean Rin?” Shiemi asked as she whipped her tears. She was trying to look Rin in the eyes, but he refused to force her to look at such a failure as himself.
“Everything I’ve ever felt for has never lasted; Dad, Yukio, you guys. Pain is the only constant thing in my life, and I wanted to feel again. Then I remembered what you said Yukio..” Rin trailed off, not wanting to tell them what his twin had said to him. He didn't want the two Pages to think differently of his younger brother.
“And just what did he say?” Suguro asked and Rin shook his head, refusing to ruin his brother's reputation. He ruined enough of it as it is just by being his twin.
Rin looked at his brother and, though his face hadn't changed, he had paled slightly. He glanced at Shiemi and instantly felt guilty at the look on her face.
“Just what did you say to him that made him almost kill himself!?” Suguro shouted in Yukio’s face, anger radiating off of him.
“Just drop it Suguro, it doesn’t matter.” Rin said.
“Doesn’t matter? Doesn’t matter!?” He shouted. “When I walked into that room, the stench of blood was so damn strong I gagged! A human would have died from the amount of blood loss, not to mention the fact that you used Holy Water!”
“That’s the thing Suguro, I’m not human! I’m a demon and not just any demon, I am the son of Satan! I do nothing but bring trouble. I should just..” Rin lowered his head.
“Just die please.” Yukio’s finished.
It was silent between the four of them and Rin’s curiosity got the better of him. Looking up, he saw Suguro standing in front of Yukio. The Aria appeared to be losing his temper quickly.
“You.. you told him to go kill himself?” Suguro seethed and Rin was highly confused on why he was so heated.
“Yes I did. A while back when he first started attending Cram School.” Yukio said, his expression still blank. Rin was trying to figure out what Yukio was thinking when Suguro did the one thing no one ever thought he would.
Suguro balled up his fist and socked Yukio in his jaw, his glasses becoming askew.
“Suguro!” Rin and Sheimi yelled as Yukio’s head snapped to the left. Before anyone could say anything, Suguro began yelling.
“For someone as smart as you, you’re a fucking dumbass! What gives you the right to tell someone to go kill themselves!? Especially your own twin brother!” Everyone was silent as they processed what Suguro had said.
“Why are you so angry Suguro? And what do you think you’re doing punching him? Do you know how much trouble you could get into?” Rin asked only to snap his mouth shut at the look on the Aria’s face.
“You’re defending him!? What do you mean ‘why am I so angry?’? Why wouldn’t I be angry at the fact that he told someone to go kill themselves!? Why aren’t you angry?” Suguro asked, turning to face Rin completely.
“Because it’s the truth.” Rin said simply, and received two looks of horror from his classmates.
“Rin..” Sheimi seemed to find herself at a loss for words. Where she lacked, however, Suguro picked up.
“The truth!? How could you possibly believe that?” Suguro screamed and Rin was slightly worried the nurse would come back in and kick them out. It had been forever since he held a conversation with Suguro; he’d take anything he could get. Even if he was just being yelled at by him.
“Because I mess up everything. I bring nothing but trouble and everyone I care about ends up hurt because of me. It’s better if I was gone.” Rin said in as much seriousness as he could. “You said yourself, half assed punks like me should just get out of your sight.”
“I didn’t mean.. You weren’t supposed to… Agh! You’re such an idiot!” Suguro yelled, pink dusting his cheeks.
“Wha-?” Rin trailed off as he watched Suguro work himself up.
“ I didn’t mean it.” Suguro grumbled out. “I was scared and confused. I didn’t know how to feel and I lashed out at you, I didn’t mean for you to distance yourself, certainly not to push you to do this.”
“We don’t want you to go away Rin, we care about you deeply-” Sheimi was cut off by Rin’s outburst.
“Then why did you act the way you did!?” Rin asked, tears building in his eyes. “If you didn’t mean for me to be closed off from you, why did you ignore me!? Why did you abandon me?” He could feel the tears drip down his face no matter how hard he tried to stop them from flowing. He sucked the snot that was beginning to drop as he tried to stop crying. He was weak. Pathetic.
“I’m weak.. I’m so damn pathetic…” He whispered as he clutched at his hair. He couldn’t hear Sheimi’s gentle words as his breath picked up. He began to panic as he couldn’t get any air into his lungs no matter how much he inhaled. His heartbeat was racing and it felt like it would jump out of his chest.
He couldn’t feel Suguro shaking him, trying to get him to come to his senses, He didn’t see the nurses bust in and rip Suguro away from him, didn’t see the light they shone in his eyes. His vision began to darken from the lack of oxygen and he missed the doctors showing the three out of the room.
He didn’t feel the needle inserted into his arm or the anesthesia rush through his veins.
The only thing Rin noticed was his vision went completely dark and his rapid breathing slow before knocking out completely.
…
This time Rin woke only to the sound of the monitor, the steady beat rhythmic and calming. His heart was beating in a normal, non painful way. He fluttered his eyes open and almost thought himself to be alone before noticing the bleached streaked hair resting out of the corner of his eye.
Hunched over in a chair, Suguro slept away. Rin stared as the Aria dozed away peacefully. The normal scrunch at his eyebrows was wiped away. Suguros lips were parted as air recycled in and out, soft snores admitting from the teen. A droplet of drool was beginning to form at the corner of his mouth.
He admired how handsome Suguro was. He loved the strong jaw and determined look in his eyes. Suguro held himself in a way Rin couldn’t dream of. He held himself with power and confidence, true confidence. Rin doubted he would ever have the confidence Suguro carried, and it made him envious. But also interested. The way Suguro held himself made him so attractive to Rin. Add that onto the Aria’s already good looks and it was impossible for the half demon to not fall in love.
Suguro was everything Rin wanted in and wanted to be in a man. Rin knew it would never happen. Such a wonderful, amazing, good looking guy would never want to be with someone like Rin.
While lost in his thoughts, Rin began running his fingers through Suguro’s hair, messing it up a little. His tail tapped softly on the bed despite the dark thoughts. He didn’t notice when Bom stiffened or opened his eyes. He did, however, notice the tiny shuffle Suguro made.
Time froze as both boys laid there, neither dared to say a word. The silence quickly became awkward as Rin’s fingers remained in Suguro’s hair. “Uh…” Rin said as he looked Suguro in the eyes, scared of the reaction he was going to get.
“You really scared us, you know.” Suguro said and Rin was hit with a wall of guilt. His head and tail sank down.
“Yeah I know, I’m sorry.”
“Why didn’t you say anything? Why did you keep all of this to yourself?” Suguro questioned, his fist clenching. “Why do you always feel like you are alone?”
“Because I have always been alone.” Rin said quietly as he played with his fingers. “No matter what I did, I always ended up alone.”
It was silent for a moment before Suguro’s larger hands grabbed Rin’s. “Well you’re not anymore. I know we haven’t been acting like it lately, but we’re here for you.” Suguro looked into Rin's eyes, face completely serious. “I am here for you.”
Rin’s heart skipped a beat and his face turned red as the monitor copied it. “I..:
“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything.” Suguro said as Rin struggles to start his sentence. He didn’t let go of Rin’s hands. In fact, his thumb began caressing the back of the half-demons hands. “I care about you, a lot, and I know I’ve done a shit job of showing that. You mean a lot Rin, please don’t ever do anything like this again.” Suguro pleaded, completely dropping his normal tough-guy act.
“I.. I promise. I’m sorry..” Rin looked at their hands and listened to Suguro, hope filling in his chest. “I love you.” Rin’s face quickly became one of horror as he realized what he just said. He went to yank his hands out of Suguro’s, but the Aria tightened his grip. The fact that Suguro didn’t want Rin to let go was the only thing that kept them there.
They stared at each other as the beeping of the monitor picked up. Rin was terrified Suguro was going to explode on him. Instead, the Aria smiled softly at him. “I love you too Rin.”
“You do? Why?” Rin asked and Suguro chuckled as he laced their fingers together.
“Because.. Because you’re you Rin. You’re annoying, and stubborn, and a bit of a dimwit sometimes-”
“Hey!” Rin shouted, feeling a bit offended,
“But. You’re also very caring, dependable, and funny. I love you Rin, even after I found out you were a demon. And that’s partially why I ignored you. I was confused on how I could still love you after finding out who you are. It took me a while, Rin, but I’ve accepted that I love you anyway. I love you, son of Satan and all.”
Rin’s eyes filled with tears as he listened to the words he’s always wanted to hear. Words he never thought anyone would say and mean them. He looked at Suguro and the utmost seriousness on his face prompted the first real grin Rin has given in a long, long time. “I.. I..”
At Suguro’s smile, Rin threw himself at the Aria and kissed him. HIs arms wrapped around the taller teens neck, hands sinking into soft hair. His tail wagged rapidly as Suguro’s hand landed on his hips, tugging him closer.
Rin felt so overwhelmed with happiness, his heartbeat picked up at finally finding some type of happiness again. The rapid beating, however, alerted the nurses and they quickly burst into the room only to freeze in their tracks.
Suguro and Rin jumped apart, matching blushes on both of their faces.
“At least he’s not yelling.” The same nurse from before said as she smirked at Suguro. “Try not to do too much, he is still healing.” She said as she dragged the other nurses out of the room, winking at the two boys.
The two looked at each other before busting out laughing, tears pouring down their faces as they tried to gain control of themselves. “That wasn’t embarrassing at all!” Rin said as he chuckled, the pain of his injuries a faint memory as he looked at Suguro.
“At least it wasn’t Yukio.” Suguro laughed. It took him a second to realize the Rin had stopped laughing.
“Where is Yukio?” Rin asked quietly, He wanted to know what Yukio thought of all this, his expressions earlier gave nothing away.
“He’s with Moriyama, she got pretty hysterical when you started hyperventilating.” Suguro said and Rin felt as if a large boulder was just placed onto his shoulders.
“Oh.. Is she okay?” Rin asked.
“She’s worried about you, we all are, but she’s okay. We thought it would be better for her to wait until you were awake to see you.” Suguro said as he grabbed Rin’s hand again. Rin felt himself relax at the gesture and linked their fingers together.
“I’m sorry..”
“It’s okay Rin. Well, it’s not okay, but it will be. You’ll be okay. We’re all going to be here for you, and you can always tell me anything.” Suguro reached up with his other hand and wiped the tears from Rin’s cheek.
“Thank you Suguro.” Rin sighed as he snuggled up to Suguro’s touch. He couldn’t remember the last time he was touched so caringly.
“Ryuuji. And don’t worry about it, I’d do anything for you. I love you.” Suguro said as he kissed Rin again,
“I love you too Ryuuji.”
Fin