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The air was so dense I couldn’t even breathe properly. It was sitting on my lungs heavily, hot from the summer weather. It hasn’t rained for the last three weeks and every creature and greenery could feel it as it was draining every bit of energy we had left. I just really hope a thunderstorm will come eventually. Not only it would cool the air and refresh the earth, but it would also really help me to finally reach sweet sleep.
I turned around in my bed, annoyed and wide awake even though it was past midnight. The bed coverings were not helping either, sticking to my skin due to the sweat responding to the heat of the night. I was hopelessly turning around for the past I-don’t-wanna-know how many hours and I could feel frustration settling in on my lungs and heart. I want to fall asleep but I also know that I won’t if I continue like this.
With a sigh I sat up in my bed and silently stared at a wall for a good minute before I forced myself to stand up. Maybe it was a bit too quick because my sight swayed and black dots filled my vision despite the already dark room.
The words ’I need some fresh air’ were a constant reminder in my tired mind, setting my goal straight for the whole walk from my room directly under the roof of our wooden house in the middle of nowhere, to the back door leading the a meadow surrounding a shallow, but vast lake. That is my destination. I just have to hope that the water isn’t too warm even in the middle of the night.
The wooden floor was slightly creaking all the way to the back door but it didn’t seem like I woke anybody up. Or maybe they are battling their own absences of sleep like I am and didn’t notice the sounds.
When I reached the door, I was a bit more awake than the moments before but I was still somewhere in between consciousness and the void that is sleep. Or maybe I’m just trying to excuse my absolute absence of any gentleness in my movement because then I yanked the door open without a second thought, resulting in a not so silent sound as the door reached the wall on the other side.
But surprisingly, I couldn’t care less in that moment. I couldn’t even if I tried.
The view and feeling I got from seeing the meadow and the lake in the background was astonishing.
The place was dark, being illuminated by millions of stars above on the night sky and a full moon silently looking down on us. Even though it was magical with the body of water reflecting the dark sky, it isn’t what I was so astonished by. It was those little warm light hovering over the meadow and the water glimmering while slowly moving.
Fireflies.
I’ve never seen these magical creatures up close, only heard and read about them. But no book could ever describe the feeling I got from simply witnessing this scene. The peace, the happiness spreading from the very bottom of my soul and taking over my mind. The need to just stay, to never leave, for this moment to never end.
My legs moved on their own, descending the few stairs dividing this world from my own. And I never felt more complete than when my bare feet touched the grass of the meadow and a slight wind brushed my cheeks, cooling my body temperature down. I never felt so sweetly empty but full at the same time when I walked into the moment itself, letting it affect me at its full capacity.
The fireflies didn’t fly away, didn’t disappear. They made space for me as if they were welcoming me in. They started flying around me, not thinking of me as a threat.
The only thing I could do was slowly walking through the meadow to the lake, surrounded by fireflies and the scent of flowers, water and summer night. I didn’t stop until I reached the water glimmering with reflection of small flying lights and the stars. It was neither hot nor cool, but something in between. And I couldn’t get enough of it until it reached the middle of my thighs. I was so happy then and there that I was just standing there in the water silently, looking in front of me at the fireflies flying just above the water surface.
And I would’ve probably stayed like this for hours if it wasn’t for a gentle meow calling to me from the shore. I turned around to look, still in awe, drunk by the magic.
Two green eyes were watching me, shining in the dark. The cat was sitting by the water, calling for me to go back. And who was I to deny?
When I reached the shore again, the cat stood up to rub herself against my legs but stopped when she realized they were wet. So I ducked down to let her to do whatever she wanted and she happily gave in, rubbing the top of her head against my palm that started to pet her soft fur. But that wasn’t enough for her as she bumped into me trying to tell me to sit down. And as I did, she climbed onto me, finding a comfortable place to lay down. And why would I break the magical moment?
I laid down on the small rocks surrounding the lake and let the cat fall asleep on my chest while purring.
And I won’t be lying when I’ll say that sleep didn’t left me waiting for long and arrived slowly after. I guess lying by the water, surrounded by the scent of the night and summer meadow, having a purring ball of fur on me and fireflies lightening the place a little bit, soothes my anxiety and frustration.
Now I know what works for me the best.