Work Text:
The warm temperatures could be felt from all over the nation. Sumeru, filled with forests and deserts was hotter around this time of year. A young man no older than his late 20s sat in his home reading a book. A man endowed with extraordinary intelligence and talent. The akademiya’s scribe, responsible for documenting their findings and drafting ordinances.
He hummed lowly as he read in his head. Something about his surroundings felt odd. However, nothing was really always normal. He had this roommate whom others would say he disliked. Something like a rivalry. The architect behind the Palace of Alcazarzaray, Kaveh.
Kaveh was a student of the Kshahrewar Darshan of the Sumeru Akademiya and graduated with honors, earning the moniker "Light of Kshahrewar." Having become insolvent after the construction of the Palace of Alcazarzaray, he was forced to reside with Alhaitham. Alhaitham didn’t really pay much mind to it. He helped with the bills and helped around the house in return for a place to stay.
In spite of the illustrious façade he maintains to outsiders, Kaveh is often saddled with guilt for his father's death, ashamed of his poverty, and struggling with realizing his ideals. He’s a smart individual, a very lively one to those around him. However, on the inside, he has his own problems with being who he is. Being an architect is not an easy job, especially for him. He’s developed many ideas that just simply aren’t healthy for the human mind. He’s an amazing and intelligent person, he just doesn’t realize his limitations.
Kaveh sat in his office drawing and marking out different ideas for his clients. The ones that kept turning down his original ideas, wanting something completely different and new. Something Kaveh would consider dangerous. He wanted to make sure that everything he did would satisfy his customers while satisfying him as well. However, it was easier said than done.
Alhaitham's eyes flickered up from his book. His apartment was cluttered as always. Though, things have been getting messier and messier.. He snapped his book shut and placed it on the coffee table. Kaveh got easily thrown into spirals of work and failed to do his house chores. Of course, it made Alhaitham frustrated but he knew Kaveh better. He started doing the dishes even though it was Kaveh's job. It had started to pile up lately..
Alhaitham got through them fairly quickly. Now, he needed to check on the architect. To check on him and remind him yet again to do the basics.
The blonde still sat on a room filled with crumbled paper. Every tiny mistake sent him into a spiral that he couldn’t seem to escape. Everything about his work had to be perfect. He had to be perfect. He didn’t think much about all the mora he would lose in the process. As long as his work was perfect. Everything had to be PERFECT.
He gripped the brush in his hand while sweating. The heat was killing him and he refused to let himself rest until everything was finished. He was slowly killing himself. He would draw and draw and draw until he would black out and black out again. He gripped the piece of paper in front of him before letting out a shaken sigh and throwing it on the floor with the others after ruining it.
Suddenly, a firm knock sounded from his door. Alhaitham knew what state he'd find him in but it was never pleasant.
Kaveh didn’t have time to deal with Alhaitham. However, he had to be polite. “Come in.” He spoke without even lifting his brush off of the paper or shifting his sight to look at him. Alhaitham sighed seeing his roommate’s room a mess. He literally couldn't see the floor around Kaveh's desk. "You need to stop working and do your chores, Kaveh.." He grumbled.
Kaveh rolled his eyes while throwing another paper on the ground. “I’ll do my chores once I can.” He growled before getting out another piece of paper.
"You're clearly not going anywhere with this. You're wasting paper…"
“Leave me alone, Alhaitham. I have to finish this.” He sighed and looked up at him with an annoyed look. He was stressed and his roommate did not make it any better.
"Take a break first at least! None of your clients will like your sleep deprived scribbling…"
“I’m fine, Alhaitham. Just go away. I’m not sleep deprived and my work or clients are none of your business.” He said before going back to drawing. He couldn’t wrap his mind around anything his clients wanted. They were always so... difficult.
Alhaitham didn’t know how to respond. There were things about his roommate he could never seem to understand. “Fine. If you want to keep working yourself to death so, be it.” Frustration filled his voice. He knew him and Kaveh were never great friends or even got along back in the Akademiya, so why was he trying to help now? He couldn’t care less about what he did, but deep down he did care and he wanted to help. He just didn’t know how to.
He returned to the couch he was originally sitting at. How could Kaveh be so cruel to himself? He wanted to understand, he wanted to help, he wanted to drag Kaveh out of that hell hole he dug for himself, but how?
The male decided to pick his book back up. He flipped through the pages carefully before returning to the spot her left off on. He couldn’t concentrate. Something was bothering him deep down. He knew exactly what it was and he didn’t like this feeling at all.
Kaveh on the other hand was finally satisfied with one of many structures he had to work on. All he had to do now was finish another ten buildings and hope that his client doesn’t turn them down once more.
Back with Alhaitham, he was a mess. Not literally, but mentally. He hated this feeling more than anything. He hated feeling anything at all more than anything. He stood up and began looking through his books, maybe he could come up with something.. right? What would Kusanali do in this situation? Rukkhadevata? Their wisdom had been given to the Akademiya. He worked for the Akademiya. He knew everything so why couldn’t he help?
Why couldn’t any of this wisdom given to him by Sumeru’s archons help him save his roommate?
He groaned in frustration. There was nothing he could do.
He stood back up and set the books where they originally sat. He took a deep breath before making his way back into Kaveh’s office.
Kaveh’s head jerked up to look at the door, seeing his roommate again didn’t make him any happier than before. “What do you want Alhaitham. I already told you to leave me alone.” He growled.
“Why do you do this to yourself?” He leaned against the wall crossing his arms.
Kaveh groaned before standing up. “Palaces of silver and gold cannot be designed overnight, Alhaitham. You have to be careful and diligent. Planning and measuring every detail I make.”
“What’s the point?”
“I’ve never been in it for fame or attention. I only work hard so my structures wont fall. And seeing is finished is worth every mora I spend.” He looked over the blue prints of the Palace of Alcazarzaray on his wall. “One mistake is all that it takes for the walls to come crumbling down.” He finally broke down.
“Every day I play this game of chance, sketching visons in my head and seeing them ripped to shreds. It leads me nowhere. There’s nothing I can do. When I start the project, I have to follow through.” He sobbed. “With every building I make with pride, the architect in me is trapped inside. I try to fight for control but everything takes a toll on me and still at the end of it all, I cant escape my faith of the writings on the wall.” He gripped the paper.
Alhaitham didn’t know how to react. In that moment, time felt frozen. “You toil at your desk every night trying to do ‘right’ its futile. You’re always on edge and strive for perfection. I watch you draw, erase, draw, and start all over again.” He snapped.
Kaveh looked up at the grey-haired male in disbelief. Part of him wanted to cut him off, what would he understand about his struggles? After all he means nothing to him.. right?
“Is seeing it finished really worth every mora you spend? Tirelessly making works of art. You keep track of all your mistakes. Every penalty is heavy and you drown. I try to speak up to you about your mistakes but you ignore me and turn down advice. As I tell you to not further waste away you block out the sound and fill your own head with lies.”
His voice began to rise a bit.
“You say you need to suffer and starve because you can never settle for less and you need to have it your way. But maybe, just maybe I’m trying to give you a sign. That with every building you make with pride, you’re trapped inside. These ‘walls keep pressing down your heart and one day you’ll fall apart.” He began slowly walking towards Kaveh.
“Alhaitham..”
“Shut up and listen.” He scolded. “Did you notice me watch over you? I’ve seen all the things that brush has made you do. And when all your buildings crumble down, ill have to be the one to come save your soul. You isolate yourself from everyone when you can’t do this right. You never admit you want fame or attention but is all of the pride it brings you really worth all of the writing on the wall?”
He grabbed his wrist. “Give it a chance. Take a break every so often. Live for yourself and not for the building. Everyone admire the palace, yet the people you decide to take as clients suddenly don’t? They’re taking advantage of you. So, what if your ideas don’t succeed. So, what if they don’t like what you suggest. You’re the architect, not them. If they keep persisting, don’t work for them. You’re just further getting yourself in debt. If they want another architect then they missed out. Maybe its time for you to erase all those scribbles on the wall and focus on yourself.”
He let go and handed him an eraser and a glass of water before walking towards the door.
“IF you decide to take my advice or not is up to you, but just now that with every struggle you bring yourself into, you’re dragging the others as well.” He walked out and slammed the door.
Kaveh stood in front of the wall and looked down at both objects given to him. “What..” He took a sip of the water, he had to admit he needed it. He thought about the other male’s words to him. Was everything he did really worth it..?
He walked out of the room after setting both things down on his desk and stood in front of Alhaitham.
“I’m sorry.. about everything. I’m sorry I didn’t realize my actions were affecting you and the others. I didn’t know what I was doing to myself. I’m sorry I didn’t listen. Im sorry that everything I did impacted you negatively. I’m really really sorry Alhaitham.” A tear fell down his cheek as he spoke with a lowered head.
Alhaitham looked at his roommate with a blank yet worried expression. He watched as a drop of water hit the floor and pulled him in for a hug. “Its ok, Kaveh. I understand how you feel now. I’m sorry for being too rough on you.” He said while rubbing his back. “Just.. try to be better. Set boundaries and limitations. Take other’s advice. I’ll be here to guide you as much as I can and learn about things with you. No one is perfect, and sometimes that’s just the way things have to be. It’s life.”
Kaveh nodded and leaned into the comfort of his roommate. Life isn’t always what we think it is, but we fail, get up, learn, and try again.