Chapter Text
The two of them were partners for as long as they could remember, they would go on missions together and defeat enemies together, but- do they really know each other’s true feelings towards each other? They are always fighting so why wouldn’t they hate them? Well the story doesn’t end or start here, well maybe.
Dazai was goofing off at the agency as usual but he felt a sharp pain in his chest and went to the bathroom.
He was coughing up blood and then a few small flower petals, what was going on? He quickly pulled out his phone and typed in “whatrb it meaan wen ypu cough pu flower and blod” He spelled it so bad but he found out he had Hanahaki disease, but he was confused, you get it when you have unrequited love, he isn’t in love with anyone?
Chuuya was just chilling on the pm couch when he felt pain in his eyes, and a slightly see through star that was pink in hue fell into his hand, it was only the size of a pill, but he knew he couldn’t stay out in the open with the other pm members so he went to the bathroom.
More of the star shaped crystals fell in his hands each a different color, his eyes stung and he kept rubbing them, but that wasn’t helping, were these tears? He questioned, nothing like this has ever happened to him and he was so confused, searched up “Star tear meaning?” And found out that it’s a disease you get from unrequited love, but he isn’t in love with anyone?
Dazai was in pain, and everyone knew he didn’t like pain, but he was still confused at the fact he had a disease for unrequited love when he didn’t think he was in love with anyone, but it’s not like anyone could ever love him back, he’d just be a nuisance to them and they would leave him, the only person who ever cared about him was his best friend Oda, but he’s been gone for awhile and isn’t coming back, nothing will ever go back to how it was before because anything he never wanted to lose would be lost.
Dazai started to cry but he didn’t know why, he threw up more petals as he was crying and hoping that no one could hear him suffering, he then heard a voice from outside the bathroom.
”Dazai-san? Are you okay? You’ve been in there for a while.”
It was Atsushi, Dazai didn’t know if he should answer or not, or if he even could answer, his throat hurt and didn’t know if he could respond.
“Yeah..I’m fine Atsushi.” Dazai said, trying to cover up the pain in his voice.
”Alright, if you say so, just come out soon, I was worried.” Atsushi said, with a slightly worried and disbelieving tone.
Chuuya’s hands were holding a ton of tiny stars and he didn’t know what to do, he wanted to cry but he thought that would just make it worse and make more stars, cause he also found out if you have it for too long you eventually go blind, he didn’t want to stop seeing things he loved, and even though he hated dazai, and especially for leaving him alone, he didn’t want to never see him again either, but he didn’t even know what to do with the stars, he couldn’t just put them in the trash can they were too luminescent for someone to not notice them and ask questions.
Chuuya thought no one would come to comfort him, since he usually denied help anyway people stopped asking if he was alright, but that just made him feel worse knowing that no one would come help him, he could only comfort himself, and then he felt tears falling down his face, and he felt his eyes sting once again.
”Dammit, I’m gonna die alone too at this point.” Chuuya muttered to himself, he felt awful, anything else would be better than this.
Dazai finally managed to leave the bathroom after he stopped crying, but he was worried everyone would ask if he was okay and that he wouldn’t be able to answer, or at least not truthfully, he felt that he wouldn’t be able to eat anything and he couldn’t breathe as well either so people would probably ask him if he was alright but in reality, he felt awful.
“Hey, Dazai, get to work you were in there to long.”
”Ok, Kunikida.” Dazai replied.
”Are you ok Dazai? You don’t usually agree to do work.” Kunikida said.
”Yeah, I’m good!” Dazai replied, trying to sound happy.
Chuuya was still sitting on the bathroom floor crying and had a lot of tiny glowing stars on his lap and he wanted someone to knock on the door and ask if he was okay, but he’s in the mafia what does he expect from them, reassurance? A hug? Ha! Yeah right, no one cares enough about him, he’s always been alone and it’s no different now.
No one will ever come help him, Chuuya thought, but he had to get up and get back to work, the only problem was that he had to hide that he felt awful right now.
Dazai was at his desk doodling on the papers in front of him instead of doing the work he was supposed to, he then suddenly started coughing and he automatically covered his mouth, but when he removed his hand off his mouth there was blood on his hand and he froze, he had no idea what to do, did anyone see, does anyone know, what's going to happen, he was scared and unsure of what was going to happen next, he was worried he would start coughing up flower petals soon.
“Hey, Dazai-san, you should go home, you sound a bit sick” Atsushi exclaimed with a worried tone.
Dazai frantically pulled down his bandages to cover the blood on his hand before turning his chair around to face Atsushi.
“Maybe, I guess I could leave early.” Dazai said.
“Well you should, you probably need to rest”
”Alright” Dazai reluctantly replied.
Dazai then left the agency office and ran home as fast as he could, he didn't want to start coughing up blood and stuff again in the middle of the street, but through this he saw a tall building, he thought “hmm, what if I jumped off and committed suicide there, then I wouldn't have to deal with this” but he didn't have time for that right now, if he wanted to he could hang himself later at home, he didn't have enough time to stop for anything.
Chuuya reluctantly got up but he totally forgot about the star shaped tears that were in his lap, they were now falling and making a glass like breaking sound very softly as he stood up, the stars stopped flowing out his eyes but he didn't know how much longer he could hold out for.
He felt like he was broken and could never be fixed.
Chuuya left the bathroom finally and when he went back to the couch he saw Akutagawa already sitting there, Akutagawa glanced at Chuuya and he started getting scared, what if Akutagawa could see through him? He’d never hear the end of it from everyone, he would get called weak for crying like that.
He sat down by Akutagawa because he didn't know what else to do.
“Chuuya, what were you doing in there?” Akutagawa said, with his usual menacing expression.
“I was uhh, on my phone.” Chuuya tried to say normally, but his eyes still stung and his throat hurt from crying too hard.
“That was a long time to be on your phone, but what was that faint shattering sound I heard from there?” Akutagawa asked.
Chuuya started sweating, he can't let Akutagawa know about the Star tears.
“My phone fell, didn’t break though, just made the sound.” Chuuya said, trying to not let the stress in his voice break through.
”Alright.” Akutagawa replied, and he was actually a little bit worried, he didn’t usually see this expression on Chuuya.
Dazai then reached the climax of his run home and went inside, the cold air throughout the house made him shiver as he left his coat back at the agency office, as he wandered aimlessly throughout the building he paused for a bit to sit down and have a break, once he was there for a minute or so his chest started to hurt again and he knew what was in store for him, he ran to the kitchen sink and started coughing up flower petals again, when will this end.
As the petals came so did blood, lots of it, Dazai didn't know what to do, he wanted to cry.