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“What did Elliot say to you that night?” Jules’ voice was laden with curiosity as she poured them both a glass of lemon tea from the pitcher she had made earlier that day.
Mia stilled, a vast and yawning silence swirling between them like a howling wind through an abandoned town.
It had been nearly six months since they had returned from The Staircase and in all that time, Mia never once had to unveil the truth of their words to her. Mia emptied her cup quickly, the insipid and bitter taste lingering on her tongue. She set the glass down, wordlessly.
Jules took a generous sip of her own drink, grimacing as the liquid slipped between parted lips. “After we were ambushed by those Staircase people, we were forced to split up. Well, I fell into a crack but that’s besides the point. We all know that you and Ell wound up together but then got separated shortly after.”
“Yeah, we did. They told me I had to find grace so we split up,” she answered tersely.
Jules leaned back on her elbows, a look of scepticism crossing her face. “Why didn’t Ell come with you? C’mon dude, I’ve known them for years. They aren’t the type to just abandon their friends.”
Mia poured herself another glass, a shaky hand reaching for the cup. Even she didn’t know where Elliot had gone after they parted ways. All she had was the ghost of their words sitting painfully at the back of her mind like an unending headache.
“They had other things to do,” she rasped. “At first I was angry. Elliot was charging on ahead in fucking staircase territory and I was so afraid we were lost or that something might’ve happened to you guys. But there Ell was, leaving me behind, ignoring the problem.”
Jules broke into a lopsided grin, “Sounds like Ell, ignoring the problem till it hits them in the face.”
Mia sighed, sparing Jules a glance before continuing in a tired voice, “That’s when they told me to find Grace. But I didn’t think I could. Everything looked the same and I was… so lost. Maybe not just physically but mentally too. My past and present were slowly becoming one and I wasn’t sure where that left me. Whether I could reconcile with Grace and move on, or whether she’d be long gone and I’d be forever haunted by her memory.”
Jules’ face was etched with pity, brows turned upwards and shoulders imperceptibly lower.
“I think Ell sensed it too because they finally stopped. And for the first time since I’d known them, they spoke to me,” Mia said, voice splintering into tatters.
Mia could sense the imperceptible shift in her expression —neck stiffening, shoulders drawing together and eyes blinking slowly with incredulity.
“They spoke to you?” she said, disbelief laced in each word. “But Elliot never talks. Never.”
Blood was thumping in her ears, emotions warring as she met her gaze. Jules’ expression was inscrutable, but Mia couldn’t help but wonder if there was disdain concealed behind her dispassionate eyes.
But then Jules leaned forward eagerly, “Which means they must’ve said something super important!” the words exploded from her like an erupting volcano. Her grin turned sly, voice cloyingly sweet. “Sooo what was it?”
Mia looked away, the truth weighing on her hard like a tipping scale. The words that had passed between them were sacred in a way since Ell never spoke. Sometimes when she lay in bed, consumed by her thoughts, she thought about what Elliot had said to her. How things had invisibly changed between them—bone-deep like a blade scraping marrow.
But none of them had ever brought it up again.
In one languid movement, Mia grabbed her empty glass, set it on the table and then crawled under her covers, mumbling, “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
Jules shot up from the ground, face seeming to stare at her in grave accusation. “Pffft but they never talk! So clearly they said something important."
Mia pulled the covers to her neck, letting the shadows obscure her face, “Just let it go, Jules.”
In less than two seconds, Jules was at her bedside shaking her, “Miaaa,” she whined. “You can’t just leave me hanging.”
Mia didn’t relent.
“Fine,” Jules said sharply in mock-anger. “Maybe Ell will tell me then.”
Mia said nothing, waiting until Jules’ footfalls receded before letting out a shuddery breath. As the door swung shut, the room was bathed in darkness. She shifted slightly, eyes growing heavy as she finally fell into a drowse.
.
After spending the morning clearing debris, Jules was finally going on her lunch break. She sighed with relief, ankles throbbing sorely and nape sticky with sweat.
She made her way to the kitchen and dropped into the nearest seat, resting her head on the cold surface of the table. She loved her job but she wished there was more parkour on wires and less mundane tasks in the suffocating heat.
They’d arrived on this planet just over a week ago. Their new supervisor had said it was good money so they weren’t going to turn it down. At first it seemed like a fairly simple job. All that they were required to do was demolish the rest of an apartment complex that had slowly deteriorated over the years—rendering it unsafe—and dispose of the remains.
Jules had thought it seemed a little strange that such a straightforward job would come with such a hefty paycheck, so it didn’t surprise her at all when they were informed of an additional task of restoring an ancient mural. A tedious and mind-numbing task that they had quickly become sick of.
And since the stupid mural was taking up so much of their time, Jules had failed to find anything more about what had transpired between Mia and Elliot. A mystery that had been gnawing at her innards for the past few days. A few nights ago while playing bridge with Ell, she had tried to ask them then, but her attempts had ultimately been futile.
As the kitchen door creaked open, Grace walked in, her face weary with exhaustion. While Jules and Mia had been stuck clearing the rest of the debris, Grace had been tasked with finishing up the mural. By now, the entire portrait had been scrubbed meticulously to remove any dirt or dust, been covered with a layer of modelling paste and had been repainted with watercolours. The only thing left to do was cover that with the retouching varnish then they could get the hell out of here.
“Oh hi, Jules,” Grace said. She was wearing a forest green jumper with a scooped neckline, a plain summer skirt and an old pair of trainers that had seemingly absorbed every ounce of dirt. “Want some tea?”
“Please,” Jules scraped out, resting her cheek on the palm of her hand. “Did you finish the mural?” She was desperately hoping the answer was yes.
“Not yet,” she said with a wan smile, stirring the liquid. The metal of the spoon grated painfully against the sides of the cup. “It feels like I’m doing one of those lengthy video game side quests where every time I complete a new step, I have to make several adjustments before I can do the next.”
“Sounds accurate. Maaan, I can’t wait till it’s done.”
Grace nodded as she sat opposite her, setting down the bone china cups on the table.
“Fancy,” Jules chuckled lightly, taking a cautious sip.
Grace’s smile faltered, shrinking further into her seat. Guilt writhed in her stomach like a conjoined worm, not knowing quite where one end started or ended. Since Mia and Jules both had to clear rubble and Elliot was in charge of uninstalling the electrical devices and stripping out the wires, Grace had been solely responsible for polishing the damned mural.
And she could see she was struggling from the subtle changes in her disposition—the hollow, empty sockets where eyes should be and the pained expression creasing her brows.
“Hey,” Jules spoke up in an even tone, “why don’t we play actual video games later. There’s this really tough level I’m stuck on and I just know with your expertise we’ll beat it in no time.”
Grace met her gaze, a semblance of interest flickering across her face. “That does sound fun,” a small smile played on her mouth.
Jules grinned, pounding her fist into the palm of her hand, “Hell yeah it does.”
Grace sipped her tea meditatively, “I think I’ll just be glad when this job is over. It seems to be dragging for a long time and I’d like a change of scenery.”
“Same honestly.”
When Elliot came into the kitchen, Jules bolted upright, nearly spilling her cup.
“Ell!” She spat, making a beeline for them.
Elliot flinched then gave a small wave.
Jules threw her arms around them, “I haven’t seen you in forever. ”
Elliot’s incredulous gaze met hers, lips forming a thin line.
“Okay I know I saw you this morning but we were eating breakfast, not hanging out,” she said, voice keening and high.
Elliot placed a hand on her shoulder with a placating smile.
Jules groaned, “I just can’t wait to leave this fucking planet.”
Elliot chuckled, putting a thumb up.
After her cup had been drained, Grace set it down with a sigh.
“Right, I best get back to work,” Grace acquiesced, the chair scraping sharply as she got up and left the kitchen.
“See ya later,” Jules said, Elliot waving beside her.
Elliot grabbed a cinnamon scone and sat beside her. They ate in silence for the most part except for the few remarks Jules made about the dumb mural. With the room vacant, she knew it was the perfect opportunity to interrogate Elliot again, but the words kept catching in her throat and she didn’t want to force the issue.
“Hey Ell,” she nudged them surreptitiously.
Elliot offered her a sideways glance.
“You totally don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to—” She held up a hand, “But I guess I’m just… curious about what happened after we got separated. You and Mia went off and I know you spoke to her," their eyes widened so she quickly said, "no she didn't tell me. I sorta guessed it on my own. But anyway, If you spoke to her, it must’ve been pretty important,” her voice trailed off.
Elliot flinched like they had been struck, a flicker of ire crossing their face that slowly ebbed into indifference. They looked away with a sigh.
“Oh jeez, I should just let it go, right?” Jules gave a faint, shrill laugh. “Guess I’ve never been very good at taking a hint,” Which made Elliot turn to her with a smirk.
She continued, “Maybe I am a little hurt,” as soon as she said the words, the realisation dawned on her. “You speaking to Mia out of the blue made no sense to me. Especially not when we’ve been friends for years and you never speak to me.”
Elliot’s eyebrows turned up at the corners as their eyes met in silent communication.
Jules sighed, “But I’ll get over it, Ell. You don’t owe me anything and I was wrong to keep pushing you into telling me.”
The silence that stretched like the open maw of a chasm was suffocating. Then in one languid, wordless movement, Elliot pulled a piece of paper from their pocket and began to scribble something down.
They pressed it into Jules’ hands. She didn’t deign to read the page at first, eyes avoiding the black ink staining the paper. Reading their words felt like a violation. An infringement on their privacy. She looked to Elliot who nodded reassuringly in response.
When she finally read the note, she froze, not registering the words at first. Imperceptibly, she felt her eyes widen, jaw falling ajar—surprise etched permanently on her face. She scrutinised the page, expecting the letters to rearrange themselves.
Jules had speculated for some time on what could’ve transpired between them, but somehow she hadn’t guessed this. The only thing she didn’t get was why, after hearing that from Ell, would they have parted ways? Jules stopped herself before the thought unravelled. That was a mystery for another day.
She lifted her head to meet Elliot’s gaze. Their cheeks darkened, arms folded over their chest.
“And neither of you have said anything more about it?” Jules said incredulously, which Elliot answered with a sigh. “You should,” she nudged them with a grin.
Their eyes narrowed to squints which told Jules the chance of them doing so was unlikely.
Maybe, Jules thought with a shred of optimism, Elliot would find the courage to say those words again Or maybe those words would become a distant memory, slowly withering and till they decayed like a rotting plant. Whatever their decision, Jules promised to support them.
.
Six months ago, The Staircase
In a few deft movements, Mia managed to land a few blows on The Staircase soldiers, the whites of her knuckles bulging through skin. She was one blind point of agony, a soaring fireball slicing through obstacles like a knife through butter.
She heard shouting, words that sounded like orders but were drowned out by the heavy footsteps and booming voices of reinforcements heading their way.
“Fuck,” called a voice from madness. It sounded like Alma’s.
As they became overwhelmed, Mia watched as Jules ran blindly into a large crack. Alma and Char tried to follow after her but were suddenly violently grabbed at the arms by Staircase people in large hats. Mia felt her heart split down the middle into two sinuous lumps, white hot anger tangible like a living thing that could burst from her chest.
When she felt a hand grab at her scarf, she threw herself aside, wrenching herself from their grasp before hooking them hard across the face.
Elliot came up beside her, scowling.
“That’s all of them,” she said, contemptuously just as Elliot grabbed her arm. “But the others went that way!”
Elliot was pulling at her arm, dragging her into a hollow crack in the wall.
“What are we—” her words were cut short as she fell into Elliot, limbs becoming tangled.
As they sat up, Mia watched in agonising silence as more Staircase soldiers hurried past them. Once their footsteps receded, Elliot got up, waiting a beat before leaving through a different exit.
Mia barrelled after them, heart skittering. The air was cold and damp as they slipped through an opening that emerged out into a cherry blossom forest. She followed after Elliot, legs aching terribly and fear churning in her stomach.
She knew Elliot wouldn’t just abandon her, not in the belly of the beast, but if they did somehow become separated, she would be completely and utterly screwed.
“Elliot!” She scraped out. “Where are we going?”
Elliot turned to face her, a slender finger to their lips.
Mia’s frustration grew like ink in water. Why were they being so secretive, she thought. And what about Jules, Char and Alma? They had been apprehended by the enemy. They had to go back for them, didn't they?
Elliot began moving again. Mia quickly followed as they walked along a narrow crag that overlooked a bottomless pit. She swallowed in a futile attempt to fight away her panic.
“Ell, I’m worried about them, we have to go back,” she croaked, hand reaching their shoulder.
Elliot said nothing, eyes lowering as if leaving the obvious unsaid.
“You can’t just ignore me, Elliot—” Elliot turned around, grabbing her by the scarf in frustration. “We need a plan!”
They released her, deftly pulling a pen and paper from their messenger bag and hastily scribbling something down. They held the piece of paper up at her with a scowl.
Go find Grace, that’s why you’re here
Then they discarded the paper, stalking away as it blew out of sight.
“Well no shit, what about—” She paused. “Elliot—” She shouted, hurrying after them. “Where are you going?” her voice broke.
She reached for their hand, the warmth akin to the sun as she pulled them in. They stared at each other wordlessly. For a moment, Mia expected Elliot to break away from the way their eyebrows drew together.
Then unexpectedly, they leaned in, hand on her shoulder as they whispered into her ear.
“I love you,” they said in a hushed voice, the words hanging in the air like a ghost as they tore off.
And in less than two seconds, they were far away, hands in pockets and head lowered before they disappeared completely. Mia felt a tear run down her cheek, a gaping cavity widening in her chest.
She wanted to go after them but she was rooted to the spot, the reason for their departure dawning on her. She wished she could hold them close and tell them how she felt, but she had to find Grace first.
And she would find her, no matter the cost.
She left.