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Damien would never admit this publicly, but part of him wishes that he could have talked to Anthony once, just one time before he left Smosh. Despite their few months of overlap, Damien was working exclusively on Smosh Games and Anthony simply did not have any time to dedicate to the gaming channel as he was busy typing up loose ends while still catering to Defy's relentless demands for sketches, so Damien understands logistically why he was ignored. It not like it was malicious — he knows now that Anthony would never purposefully ignore him — but it still hurt.
Back in the day, Damien wasn't able to put into words what it was about Anthony that made him feel so passionately. He was simply intrigued, like a riddle on the back of a Laffy Taffy wrapper he was determined to solve on his own, free of anyone else's judgement or input. It was a "crush" although Damien worked tirelessly to push his romantic feelings to the side for the sake of his own sanity. Getting together with a boss is, like, single thing everyone told Damien not to do in the workforce as a budding figure entertainment. At this point, Damien has a lot to lose, or at least a hell of a lot more than he did in 2017 after being stably employed for over seven years.
But that doesn't matter. He is here with Anthony in his apartment, the duo cut off from the rest of the world, and he looks prettier than he ever has. On paper Anthony is the textbook definition of intimidating. A tall, dark-haired, tattooed man would send anyone into cardiac arrest based on the vague description alone. Damien doesn't see Anthony as intimidating though, he sees him as a once lost boy with a heart of gold. The circumstances of the world haven’t always been in Anthony’s favor, but he makes sure to stay true to himself in the face of adversity. To Damien, that is the most attractive trait any person can possess.
Anthony walks back into the living room with two glasses of red wine, one for each of them. Damien finds it endearing how Anthony knows his way around his living space so well. Damien didn’t even have to ask Anthony to pour any drinks, he just assumed they would indulge in a little wine like they do whenever they are together. This simple gesture helps calm some of Damien’s nerves.
“To another week of filming,” Anthony raises his glass to which Damien cheerfully joins in with a clink. Each of them takes a sip, Damien’s lasting a few seconds longer than Anthony’s. If he is going to follow through with his plan to confess his feelings for Anthony to him right here, right now, he is going to need a bit of liquid courage to say what he wants to say.
They sit in silence for a moment, Damien taking the quiet moment as an opportunity to admire Anthony up close and personal for one last time in case this all blows up in his face and he never gets the chance to again.
Damien starts by letting his gaze follow the natural curve of Anthony’s curls. He takes in the warmth of his hazel eyes shortly after, focusing on how kind and inviting they look despite the rather dark color. The olive undertone of Anthony’s skin is a nice contrast to the heavy nature of his tattoos, highlighting the parts of him that he wants the world to see in order to heal.
“Enjoying the view?” Anthony asks, leaning back against the couch and stretching his arm against the headrest. Damien tries to respond, but the lump rapidly growing in his throat stops him from being able to produce any noise, let alone a coherent response to the older boy’s question. Anthony lifts a hand and playfully punches Damien's shoulder, "I'm just messing with you."
Damien flashes Anthony a plastic smile before taking another sip of wine. At this point, he has to rip the bandage off or else they are going to spend all night wasting the night, and not in the way that Damien wants to.
“There’s actually something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about,” Damien clears his throat and turns towards Anthony. Anthony returns the gesture, readjusting himself on the couch so they are each giving their full attention to the other person.
“I’ve like you for a long time now. I didn’t know what to do but now that we’ve been working together, I figured now was as good of a time as ever.”
Damien quickly reaches for his glass again, but Anthony grabs him gently at the wrist. He puts Damien’s hand inside of his own, clasping their fingers together and setting them atop the empty space between them.
“Why did you wait so long to tell me?” Anthony asks. His voice isn’t harsh or demanding, it’s genuine and inquisitive.
“I guess it never seemed that relevant,” Damien shrugged.
Anthony uses his free hand to brush a stray piece of hair away from Damien’s face, “I think it always has been.”
Anthony looks down at Damien with doe eyes, his hand slowly sliding down to his cheek. He stays there for a moment to make sure Damien is positive this is what he wants. Damien nods his head and begins leaning in, his eyelids fluttering shut as his lips finally make contact with Anthony’s halfway.
It is everything Damien thought it would be and then some. Part of him wishes that he didn’t let these feelings fester for more than half a decade, but he can’t imagine if this would’ve happened when his crush was still developing into what it is today.
Evidently Anthony feels the same as he pulls away and says, “I’m glad you waited.”