Chapter Text
Belle put the reheated tuna bowl in Ellen's hands before going to lean on the shelves by the TV. The thiren barely responded, now staring blankly at the bowl instead of her knees.
Most people, Belle thought, wouldn't have thought much of Ellen staying quiet. The thiren did put up a pretty good wall of teenage aloofness. But she knew Ellen enough to understand just how wrong all of this was: the unfocused eyes, the uncertain step, the monosyllabic monotone, the lack of subtlety while knocking on the door to Random Play's archive (where she knew semi-illegal proxy gear lay sprawled across the office) just before closing time.
She and Wise hadn't seen much of her since the two made it clear that yes, they knew she was flirting with both of them when she came by to watch that movie about proxies, and no, they weren't interested in someone two-thirds their age. They honestly thought they'd lost her and she'd stay away out of sheer awkwardness. But here she was, in her ruffled maid uniform, staring blankly at General Chop takeout.
"Take your time, girl," Belle said gently.
It took a couple minutes for Ellen to respond.
"... we had a fight."
"You did?"
"Me and Ruby," Ellen said flatly.
"You two just graduated, right?"
"Yeah. This morning. She... she wanted to talk about colleges. I didn't."
"You didn't?"
"'m not going. Why? Already have a good job. Pays the bills. At Victoria. Had," she said with a sniffle.
Belle's eyebrows rose, but she let it pass. "What did Ruby say?"
"Everybody else's going to the same school. We talked about it. They thought I was going too. I have the grades for it," Ellen said, a little sardonic emotion slipping into her voice before draining back out. "Why would I go to college? I hate everything about school except the three of them, I'm not gonna go through years of that if I don't have to. So what if I 'don't have any ambition', Lynn?" Ellen's voice began to heat up. "I don't care how smart you think I am. I can walk to the campus from my apartment if I have to, we won't stop being friends just because I'm not spending all day trapped in a desk my tail won't fit in, I'm not 'wasting my potential because I'm too lazy to do anything else', I'm not," her breath caught, "I'm not gonna get myself killed in a hollow and leave them alone." She let out something between a choke and a sob. "They're why I haven't yet."
A pause. "I was... was getting reckless before I met them. I was so lonely, didn't care about anything. Fighting... made me feel alive. A - a couple times... after I met them, they made me their friend, I knew they'd be sad if I died, so I didn't take a few really stupid risks." She sniffed. "I never told them that before. I think they thought I was..."
A longer pause. "I've never yelled at my friends before."
Belle waited, and when nothing more came out, she prompted, "what happened next?"
"Had a shift at Victoria. Not a hollow shift, just cleaning some mansion. Corin... she's so good in a fight, but she just... I had to clean up after her. I always have to clean up after her."
She paused, but just when Belle opened her mouth, Ellen continued, "Corin knocked something onto me. A vase, I think. I - I," her voice caught again, "I got so mad. I hit her. Knocked her over." A sob. "It wasn't even that hard."
Tears began to fall. "Lycaon didn't even yell at me. He told me to go home. 'Get my head in order.' But, but to go home from there I had to go past where Lynn and Monna live, and, and I couldn't see them, not after I sh-shouted at them, and the other way goes through a park Ruby likes and I... I couldn't..."
Belle sat down next to Ellen, making sure to avoid her tail, and began gently rubbing circles in her back.
"... I care about my friends so much. And, and working for Victoria is boring most of the time, but - but they're the only people who took me in when they didn't have to. And," a real sob, "and they're all I have. Without them I'm just another stupid orphan on the street again. I worked so hard and in a day I fucked it up. The only people in the world who cared about me and I fucked it all up! I don't have anywhere else to go. They don't want me anymore. You don't want me," Ellen said emptily. "I don't even know why you let me in."
"Oh man," Belle said, carefully gathering Ellen in her arms without disturbing the noodles in her lap, just like Wise used to when things got tough. "I'm sorry if we... we don't like you that way, but we still like you. You're our friend. We'd never make you deal with something like this alone. C'mere..."
As Belle held her, Ellen's near-silent crying transitioned into audible sobs, then weeping, then full-on bawling. Belle gently stroked her hair until the tears gradually slowed.
"Do you feel better now?"
"A little," Ellen said, sounding smaller and more vulnerable than Belle had ever heard her. "But I don't know what's going to happen to me, now... now that..."
"Hey, when's the last time you ate?"
"Don't know. Lunch time?"
"Then you should eat a bit. You like tuna, don't you?"
A shaky nod.
"That's a General Chop original tuna noodle bowl you got right there in your lap! How's about this - why don't you eat a little now. You don't have to eat the whole thing, just as much as you feel like. Then you stay the night on the couch. We told you sleeping on the couch is a rare honor in this house, right?"
"Y-yeah. But... tomorrow-"
"Tomorrow, we'll deal with. Wise and I'll help you draw up a game plan in the morning. We'll make sure you clear things up with the people you care about."
"...Why?" Ellen asked in a small voice. Why put in all this effort for..."
Belle gave her a squeeze before pushing her upright. "We know what it's like to feel like you don't have anybody. Wise and me, we wouldn't've made it past childhood without helping each other. We're not gonna throw you to the wolves if we can help it. But that's tomorrow. Now, do you feel a bit better?"
"...A little, yeah."
"Good. Eat your noodles."
