Chapter Text
It was still dark outside. Street lamps were casting an orange hue, and the cold was making fingers and cheeks all red and freezing. The low temperature made Tyler’s breath steam, and the smoke from his cigarette formed small clouds near his face. That winter turned out to be really harsh, but Tyler decided to keep on walking to school every day, early in the morning. Although it had been hard to get out of bed for some time now, the stroll helped him to clear his head. All of the layers he had on didn’t do a good job of keeping him warm, his fingers were slightly shaking as he lifted his hand to take a drag from the cigarette. It was long. The smoke enveloped his lungs, as his eyes closed. Tyler’s morning walks became some sort of ritual for him. They were a crucial part of his day, and honestly, the only thing he looked forward to.
It was Monday, around 7:30 a.m., and Tyler was reaching his high school’s building. He was in his final year, which proved to be extremely stressful. The prospect of finals looming over him heavily. He was also playing on his school’s basketball team. It meant added responsibilities, pressure, and energy he had to muster up. It was so hard to play, with all the running around the gym and trying to not let his performance as a player suffer, when he could barely get himself to do basic tasks. His team had practices on Mondays. That was just peachy, considering Tyler hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before. He’d stubbed out his cigarette before anyone could see him and headed for the entrance. He greeted a couple of people he barely knew with a smile, which came out a little dispassionate.
As he entered the classroom, he was immediately noticed by a couple of his teammates. Tyler wouldn’t necessarily call them his friends, but he let them stick to the illusion that they were the best of buds. Why pop their bubble? It wasn’t that Tyler didn’t like them, he just didn’t think he could be honest with them, be himself around them. They only talked about basketball, parties, and girls, and Tyler didn’t feel any connection with them at all. Having to maintain those superficial „friendships” was tiring, but at least he had somebody to talk to. Even if it was about something irrelevant. He’d just given them high fives and chatted a bit about that day’s practice before he was saved by the start of a lesson. Tyler wasn’t particularly interested in whatever was going on in that class, and in all honesty, he just wanted to lay his head on the table and sleep. Nevertheless, he fished his notebook out of his backpack and started to doodle on the pages absentmindedly. The thing is, he’s had these lyrics stuck in his head for some time now and decided to finally write them down. It wasn’t anything serious, really. He liked to write lyrics to pour out his emotions. They seemed to just naturally form in his head, usually at night or during his morning walks, and those couple of words kept haunting him throughout his last sleepless night. But it wasn’t always a good thing. Tyler tended to get frustrated with himself, reach a standstill. He would get angry and upset if they weren’t good enough. But most of all, he was self-conscious. He’d never show them to anyone. Not only because they unraveled a side of him no one had ever seen, but he was also petrified of being laughed at. The possibility of people thinking he was silly for writing those shitty lyrics terrified him.
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Pete rolled his eyes pointedly when he caught sight of Tyler Joseph, surrounded by a group of his idiotic friends.
- Doesn’t that guy piss you off? - he asked Josh. The two of them were standing off to the side of the hallway. Pete and Josh had been friends since the beginning of their first year at that school. Actually, their first conversation was caused by Pete tripping on the stairs and spilling the coffee he was holding all over himself. Josh had helped him clean up the mess, and they’ve been unseparable ever since. They’d quickly connected through similar tastes in music and movies. Their usual weekend hangout consisted of lazing around at Josh’s house, watching films, and snacking on some junk food. Obviously, they weren’t popular or generally well liked in their school. Lots of people looked down on them, called them emo or gay, but it didn’t necessarily bother them. Both of them preferred to stay true to themselves, indulge in the things they liked, and dress in a way that expressed their personalities. They didn’t need other people to like them, it was enough that they had each other. They were the exact opposite of the boys on the school’s basketball team. Those were the people who usually made backhanded comments about them or, in more drastic cases, publicly bullied them.
- Yeaaah... I don’t know. Why do you hate him so much anyway? I know he’s like the leader of those assholes or something, but he usually just keeps to himself and doesn’t participate in his friends’ bullshit. - Josh wondered out loud. He could understand Pete’s dislike for the team, but it was a little confusing why it was Tyler who annoyed him the most. Sure, the guy seemed like a picture-perfect example of a high school jock who had everything and who everyone was jealous of, but he wasn’t the bully type. He also didn’t seem as airheaded and obtuse as the rest of them.
- Oh my, Joshie. Why are you defending him so suddenly, hmm? - Pete mocked with a stupid, smug look on his face, and Josh rolled his eyes.
- Fuck you, Pete, I’m not defending him. I just don’t get it. What did he ever do to you? - Josh raised his eyebrow at his friend.
- Well, first of all, he’s rich, and that already gets on my nerves. - He began saying – He’s also the „Mr perfect guy." Like, come on… he’s great at basketball, he has good grades, all of his friends suck up to him so bad it’s pathetic, he can’t possibly be this great. There has to be something he’s not good at! - Pete exclaimed, looking rather outraged. He kept scowling and gesticulating.
- Alright, don’t get so worked up – Josh joked with a smile. He himself wasn’t exactly the type of guy to be bothered by all of that. He liked to mind his own business. - I’m gonna go to the toilet, I’ll catch you later, though. - He announced as he was already leaving Pete’s side. He heard his friend grumble something under his breath, but he ignored it. He’s gotten used to his little outbursts, they sometimes amused him, actually.
Surprisingly, the disgusting school toilets were unusually deserted and quiet. As Josh was washing his hands, he noticed a flash of chocolate-brown hair in the mirror in front of him. He raised his head and realized it was Tyler Joseph. Speak of the devil, but huh, he didn’t even notice his presence. The guy, however, left swiftly without even sparing Josh a glance. Josh wouldn’t have thought a single thing about this encounter if he hadn’t seen something falling out of Joseph’s pocket. Josh wanted to stop him and give him back the item, but it was too late. Tyler has already left. So he picked it up and examined it closely. It was a little piece of paper, seemingly ripped out of a notebook, and all scrunched up. But the content of this little note was what shocked Josh the most.
„I’m a goner” – the paper said.