Chapter Text
The energy from the red stone whizzed past his hand, grazing the tip of his hand. Kishiar could not focus for long, instead creating a barrier to protect the cavalry members.
“Any more of that and your vessel would have been damaged.” Hellem sighed with relief. “Thank goodness nothing happened. But your vessel will take some time to heal. But then we don’t know much about the red stone, and there can be some long-lasting damages...”
Kishiar had already decided what to do.
Yuder was smart, if not awkward. A young Deputy commander who he had accidentally shared many nights with.
He soaked information like a sponge. A wonderful mind, a beautiful heart, and despite all his efforts, Kishiar La Orr found himself fall in deeper to selfishness.
“‘Yudrein’. My beginning and my end. My eternity.”
That selfishness had festered like a well tended weed, and despite everything, he found himself sneaking into Yudrein’s office in the darkness of the nights.
A few months later, his health had improved bit by bit. Their connection became stronger. Yudrein learned even faster, and Kishiar was sure the pride he felt definitely bled into their connection.
Yudrein positively glowed, his face a little softer, his eyes a little brighter, his heart a little bigger.
No matter the cause, Kishiar could not take his eyes off him before, but now he wished to hold his eternity in his arms for a little longer.
Yudrein had taken a leave for a month a near year later. Kishiar knew that the emperor was probably the cause, but the sheer force of his instinct to find Yudrein and hold him as he-
As he what?
Kishiar knew he could not do much but wait.
When he returned, Yudrein slept more. Kishiar would open the windows himself, and carry him to bed.
(A few miles away, a disgruntled Enon tried to search for Yudrein, who had escaped bedrest yet again. The infant, thankfully, remained asleep in the crib.)
“Do you really wish to die like this commander?”
Yudrein’s words were harsh, but somewhere in those words lies an undeniable softness and hurt that almost made Kishiar reconsider.
That, in hindsight, should have been the final and the most vital warning.
Yet, Kishiar was far too gone in the pit of self-pity and heroic sacrifice, and far too steeped in the belief that Yuder’s still young and hopeful heart tried to spare him. Another chuckle, and this time his throat miraculously did not close up on itself.
Unfortunately, Kishiar now had no use for miracles anymore.
“Yudrein.”
And that warning should have been the final push.
“My vessel was once damaged. Yes, indeed, that red stone had been far too powerful.” He looked at the tip of his naked hands. A scar marred the very tip of his middle finger. “That stone missed its mark. It left nothing but a little tremor. I would have healed by tomorrow, and you would have no longer been a regent commander.”
A single nudge, and the blade held in those white-knuckled hands would run straight through his heart.
“Yudrein. Who will you choose?”
And he withdrew the bond. Or atleast tried to, nearly staggering when he felt Yudrein hold onto it just as tightly. Then that beautiful death was gone, escaping through the window, leaving nothing but a roughly scribbled letter that upended Kishiar’s world.
Commander.
Kishiar almost shed tears at that. Yudrein, his wonderful Yudrein, stubbornly clung on to a past that Kishiar had long let go of.
Please do not send anyone after me. I will be dead by the time you ascend the throne.
A desperate scribble, near illegible. Kishiar nearly doubted his ability to read at that moment. Why would Yuder-
Kishiar quickly shook those thoughts off, focusing on his love’s last words. A few striked off words Kishiar could decipher to be something along the lines of please love him and don’t send him away before settling for a simple sentence.
My child sleeps inside your Cavalry room. I bore him a year ago. Please take care of him. Or if you would want to, send him to my village.
Then a small, roughly drawn map of Yuder’s home coloured the page, a hill circled darkly.
My distant relatives live there. You can send him there.
Kishiar collapsed on the chair. Yudrein did tell him he had no desire to sleep around with anyone else, then that would mean-
A son…Kishiar had a son?
As soon as that settled in, another darker, sickening realization settled in. Yuder carried a child, while that mad emperor offered him the most dangerous missions? And Yuder accepted them?
Another hurt part in him wept. How far away had he driven Yuder that he couldn’t tell Kishiar about their child? As far as expecting Kishiar to just abandon them like that?
Was this why Yuder had sacrificed himself? Was this how Yuder seemed much aware of their connection? Was this why he had spared Kishiar?
He had no time to waste. Kishiar threw on some clothes, and jumped out of the window towards the capital.
A small boy waited on the bed that once belonged to Kishiar. Toys and rag dolls remained strewn on the sheets, where the child giggled and arranged them in nonsensical patterns.
He was like a portrait of a young Kishiar, in whom Yudrein’s colours had bled in. Black hair, uncharacteristic of royalty; dark purple eyes that stared at Kishiar; the soft chubbiness on the cheeks that were completely Kishiar’s that stretched into a small smile that was entirely Yudrein’s.
Kishiar thought that this child was the world.
The next day the news came. Emperor Katchian La Orr was killed in his sleep, and no trace of the cause was left behind. The last candidate for the emperor left behind was none other than Kishiar La Orr.
All who raised their voices against him were silenced with brutality. That was enough for Kishiar to know who did it. His love was meticulous in his work, after all
The commander of the Cavalry was now Ever Beck. Kishiar La Orr was crowned the emperor the next day. Even during the preparations, Ian did not leave his place in Kishiar’s arms. Nathan had come around in the evening, delicately holding the child up. Ian had taken a liking to his new uncle, quietly settling down in his chest like a snuggling pup.
“…he is a lot like Yudrein, isn’t he?” Kishiar had commented, and the loss had yet to settle in and down. Nathan kept quiet.
“He is endearing.” Nathan settled for a compliment. “Not very fussy.”
Kishiar laughed. He knew where that unfussy demeanour had come from. That ache did not lessen, but then his son’s beautiful shy smile was worth burying each iota of pain into the very depths of his soul for a grin
A few hours later, Yudrein Aile’s body was found. He had gone berserk, some said, nearly reaching the epitome of power before he destroyed himself.
He did not go alone. With himself, he had taken the corrupt nobles of the empire. The grim reaper who death revered, the angel who god took back with him and then gave a second chance.