Chapter Text
How long had it been?
To all but two, it had been a few seconds.
To Frisk, it had probably been years, their runs numbered in the hundreds, if not thousands. They'd lost count, at this point. The first time Frisk fell, they felt scared, but oddly curious. Frisk entered this new world they were presented eagerly and tried their best to stick by Toriel's advice. They killed very few monsters and they made their way to Asgore, only to be forced to watch him die.
So Frisk reset and tried again. This time, they didn't kill a single monster. Yet, when they reached Asgore, the outcome was the same.
So Frisk reset and tried again. They killed a few monsters here and there in an attempt to get something to change, but to no avail.
So Frisk reset and tried again. They killed Toriel, maybe they thought Asgore might react to it? It didn't work.
So Frisk reset and spent multiple days not moving from the flower bed they fell down on. Just thinking. Toriel tried to get them to do something, anything, to eat or drink something so they wouldn't die. It didn't matter to Frisk, they would get a happy ending no matter what, no matter how many monsters died, the ones that lived would roam free.
After a couple days, Frisk reset and set their plan into action. It was simple, really, execute every possible combination of killing a monster and leaving them alive. Frisk didn't need to calculate anything to know it'd take a long time, but they pushed through. They reset and tried, over and over and over and over again. It was muscle memory at this point, spare this, kill that. Sometimes they didn't pay enough attention and they made a mistake. Then they'd reset and do it all again. It left a surprising amount of room to think. They thought about nothing and everything, putting in the minimum amount of effort they could into every interaction, only speaking when directly asked something.
One time, they killed everyone in Snowdin.
One time, they killed everyone in Waterfall, too.
One time, they killed everyone in Hotland, too.
They killed everyone they could find.
Frisk didn't even get to the end of that run. They didn't really want to see what'd happen.
After that, they never killed everyone. They got close, but never quite made it there. Frustratingly, they never quite got to the other extreme, either, the one in which they could free monsterkind.
At some point, Flowey started appearing every time Frisk was alone. Out of pity or to spite them, Frisk didn't know.
Sometimes Flowey would be encouraging, sometimes not so much. Frisk still shivered when remembering some of the nastier little monologues Flowey gave.
Frisk supposed their lack of visible reaction served both as encouragement and as discouragement. Frisk knew how starved for entertainment that weed was. There was even a part of them that kind of enjoyed seeing how much it tortured Flowey to remember the resets.
It was hard to know exactly what that flower wanted. On one hand, Flowey tried so hard to get something new, but on the other hand, he killed Asgore EVERY SINGLE TIME.
If only Flowey didn't take the souls once, then at least Frisk could go to the surface, but that flower always did the same thing; he took the souls, he tortured Frisk a bit, then he ran away.
After that, Frisk got a phone call from Sans, and then they reset.
An average run went like this:
They'd fall into the ruins, be pummeled by Flowey and saved by Toriel. Toriel would escort them to the long room, they'd walk to the end of the room (they didn't have enough energy to run, much to their own dismay) and inevitably instantly ignore Toriel's command to stay put. Then, depending on the run, they'd either walk through the ruins and head to Toriel's home or they'd find a list of monsters and kill all of them. Then, they'd meet up with Toriel again, get the pie, pressure Toriel into the basement, then spare or kill her. That'd be the end of the Ruins.
In Snowdin, they'd "meet" Sans, walk through the oversized bars and hide behind the convenient lamp. They'd (begrudgingly) endulge in Papyrus and Sans' shenanigans, then now alone, repeat the Ruins; kill or spare everyone in a combination they didn't recall trying before, then go fight Papyrus. After settling his fate, they'd head into Waterfall.
There, they'd be harassed by Undyne and MK, doing their regular murder in between. They'd eventually fight Undyne in one of two spots, usually one later near Hotland. There, they could actually decide if she dies, but on the bridge, they'd never managed to spare her. Guess that was the consequence of having just enough determination to keep fighting, but not enough to be strong. Either way, they'd head out of Waterfall.
In Hotland, they'd make their way to the lab. There, they'd meet Mettaton, often Alphys as well. After that, they'd go through the usual, kill those they needed to, go through all the puzzles (or not, on the occasions when those were off), then go through the CORE.
The CORE was a hassle the first few times, but once they knew to do the exact opposite of what Alphys said (or take the elevator straight away when they could), it was easy. Then, they'd fight Mettaton and go to New Home.
At that point, no matter what, it was a straight walk to Asgore. They'd bring him to the brink of death, and Flowey would finish the job and fight them. To be honest, Frisk didn't know why Flowey even bothered, it always ended the same. Maybe he really just hated Frisk that much? It'd be understandable, really, Frisk took basically everything Flowey had away. Even if Flowey probably didn't deserve that power, it made sense for him to hate Frisk.
All philosophy aside, Frisk was currently starting another run. It was surreal how their mind could wander on its own without their body recognizing it. Their current plan was to spare everyone except for Muffet and Papyrus. They were past Toriel, which was interesting given the fact they'd started their mental tangent when they'd awoken for this run. Frisk had found that turning around and shaking Sans' hand was just a little faster than waiting. One could expect the difference to be obvious, but Sans always commented on it, which was rather slow. Overall, it still ended up being quicker on average.
Frisk tried to focus on what they were doing again. They were listening to Papyrus and Sans talking about a random rock behind them. It was interesting they could never bring themselves to notice that rock under any other circumstances. Frisk's thoughts faded out again.
They briefly remembered walking through Snowdin, then Waterfall at LV 2, then Hotland, where they killed Muffet and headed onwards.
The next time they zoned in, they were staring down Sans in the yellow hallway.
"Now, you understand."
"It's time to begin your judgement." This again.
"Look inside yourself."
"Have you really done the right thing?" ...
"And, considering what you've done..."
"What will you do now?" Hopefully not fight Flowey again.
"Take a moment to think about this."
"truthfully, it doesn't matter what you said." Nothing.
"all that's important is that you were honest with yourself."
"what happens now..."
"we leave up to you."
"though..."
"one thing about you always struck me as kinda odd."
"now, I understand acting in self-defense."
"you were thrown into those situations against your will." ...
"but..."
"sometimes..."
"you act like you know what's gonna happen."
"like you've already experienced it all before." If only he actually knew.
"this is an odd thing to say, but..."
"if you have some sort of special power..."
"isn't it your responsibility to do the right thing?"
Frisk didn't respond.
"conflicted, huh?" That was new.
"something weighing on your mind?"
"something like murdering my brother?"
Just as suddenly as he appeared, Sans was gone.
Frisk stood there for unusally long. Was that new?
Frisk internally hoped this could change something.
They pressed forward with a little more energy, that run.