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Chuuya absolutely hates his partner.
They are currently on their way back to Yokohama from the United States of America, or if he had to be a little more detailed, from the city of Butler in Pennsylvania. Earlier, they were at a Pennsylvania campaign rally.
They were sent there on a mission.
A mission to shoot Donald Trump.
But that isn't the reason why Chuuya’s planning a different assignation on that bandage freak his partner is.
They should be happily, or at least as happily as chuuya would be able to be with that mackerel making fun of him all the time, they should be going back to Yokohama with their mission ending in yet another success.
Until that social misfit decided that that's too boring for him or whatever and purposely missed. They had their perfect moment when Trump's ‘bodyguards’ weren't hiding him from view.
In the middle of his rambling on stage, they saw the perfect moment.
He can still remember the scene perfectly
-
Dazai cautiously aimed at the former president of the USA.
“Prepare to run, chibi, I'm about to shoot.” They were standing on some random building that they couldn't be seen from. Dazai was crunching near the end of the roof, looking through the snipe's peephole with his left eye, as his right one had its usual bandage on.
Why is this half-blind idiot the one shooting anyway?
Chuuya couldn't help but think to himself. Only a few seconds later, as he was ignoring that though, he scanned their surroundings for the millionth time, going over their escape route again in his head.
“In three,” the brunet started, his voice nearly not hearable with how low he was speaking. “Two… One”
In the last second, he saw dazai move his hand a little.
The bullet slightly grazed the ear of their target, not the brain, as they had planned.
“Oh shit-!” Five more shoots rang out in what seemed to be panic, not even one of them landing.
“The fuck you mean, ‘Oh shit’!?” Chuuya's voice could be heard over the commotion.
But before anything more could be said between them, they were forced to dip when they saw the Secret Service agents heading towards them.
Chuuya quickly took his hands out of his hoodie pockets, while dazai quickly stood up, then they both started running.
After some time of running, they saw Chuuya's motorcycle that they had left for that exact moment.
And so they got on it and drove away to their hide-out.
Only when they arrived did they start talking again.
“What the fuck was that, Dazai!?” the ginger yelled as he grabbed his partner's collar and brought him a bit closer to himself in what was meant to be a threatening action.
"Calm down, chu-chu~ all I hear is barking right now~.” Osamu said it with his usual smirk and a dramatic sigh.
“How in the fuck did you miss?” Although looking annoyed, he listened to his partner and tried to calm down a little. Knowing his yelling won't bring anything needed to this conversation.
He let go of dazai's collar, moving a little away.
“A mistake, you know ~? I can also make them~” Nakahara started to glare dazais way. Knowing that his partner is just spewing bullshit.
“Cut the crap. I'm not stupid, you missed it purposefully. Why?”
Osamu's smirk grows.
“As observative as ever, chibi~ but I'm afraid I can't tell you just yet.” For a moment, that mackerel's face turned into something a little more serious.
Chuuya knew better than to try to squeeze the answer out of that bastard. If he doesn't want to tell him at this moment, then there's no way he will. He trusts his partner enough to know his actions have some sort of meaning. But for now he'll just spaw insults at him.
Then they'll get ready to get back to Yokohama and tell the boss the best excuse they can think of on the way back, hoping the punishment won't be too big.
-
And back in Yokohama some days later, he can confidently say that he hates whatever reason that idiot had for not killing Donald McDonald.
Chuuya made sure to tighten the bandages up, not wanting his partner to bleed out.
Chuuya got away with a light punishment. Dazai, as he was the one who missed the target, wasn't so lucky.
“Shitty dazai… was it worth it?” He asked with an annoyed tone.
“What do you mean?” Asked in a somehow raspy voice, still a little delirious from blood loss, dazai.
“Was it worth purposefully missing for whatever reason you have? Even though you knew that this was going to happen if you did.” Explained Chuuya, but not before muttering how ‘dazai is supposed to be the smart one'.
Osamu kept quiet forr a few seconds before he let out a soft, nearly unhearable whisper.
“Yes…”
Later they found them selves watching the news about the assassination attempt.
They make sure to make fun of everything that was shown or said.
"I was shot with a bullet that pierced the upper part of my right ear," Trump wrote. "I knew immediately that something was wrong in that I heard a whizzing sound and immediately felt the bullet ripping through the skin.”
They nearly died laughing when they saw that be his official statement.