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still breathing, despite everything

Summary:

There’s something about the corpse that causes a familiar, yet indescribable stirring in his chest. He’s drawn closer, savouring the sheer finality of it all. They must have spent those last moments choking on blood and bile, utterly terrified. A sickening sense of satisfaction—euphoria, floods through him.

A half smile pulls at his lips, wondering how much they suffered.

What?

a self-indulgent fic version of the durge & tav co-op campaign I did with a friend.

Notes:

Dedicated to: Depressedcereal (Robin)

Chapter Text

When Kovacs wakes, something is wrong.

 

There’s a deep, mechanical rumbling which vibrates through his very bones, followed by a click and sudden rush of air. Before his eyes even fully open, instincts snap to life and force him forward, narrowly avoiding a hot burst of steam that sprays directly into the pod. Pod?

 

Kovacs manages to land upright, kneeling with both fists pressed to the ground. Blood rushes to his head, worsening a throbbing headache caused by the overwhelming stench of blood and sulphur wafting through the stale, humid air. After a slow, deep breath, his eyes open.

 

Vertical pods with viewing windows line the wall, identical to the one he just fell out of. Almost every single one remains closed and occupied. The pods, like everything else, are made of the same glistening, fleshy substance. The walls, ceiling, floor and even doors. What the hells?

 

Now standing in the middle of the small chamber, he struggles to recall how he ended up here with nothing but two daggers at his belt. Not only does the answer elude him, but so does every other memory. Mind completely blank, offering nothing at all but his name. Kovacs.

 

As alarming as that is, there are far more important things to focus on right now. Kovacs ignores the other pods and heads straight for the next room. Otherworldly in nature, completely alien with the abundance of mechanical devices adorned with glowing runes and waving tentacles. 

 

After three more identical rooms, he catches a glimpse of the outside. It appears to be a rounded corridor, but the outer wall has been completely ripped off with scraps of its purple flesh flapping in the wind. The outside world passes at high speeds, unable to make anything out but the orange tinted atmosphere. 

 

It's in stark contrast to the swirling, black abyss above, threatening to swallow the clouds imbued with blood red rain and lightning bolts. Whatever ship he’s on board is heading directly towards it.

 

Too focused on the danger out there, Kovacs’ divided attention misses the sound of footsteps until it's too late. He rounds the corner and slams directly into something hard enough to knock the air from his lungs and force him to stumble back. Reacting purely on instinct, he braces a forearm and swings.

 

Funnelling all remaining strength into it, his elbow meets a target; the would-be attacker takes the blow directly to the temple and crashes against the inner wall. It's a clean shot, but pain reverberates through his arm as if it’d been a brick wall instead of a humanoid. And it is a person— not one of those tentacled freaks from earlier. 

 

A few things happen at once. After falling to the ground, the stranger lunges forward. Not out of pain, but to grab a wooden broom he somehow hadn’t seen. To further emphasize just how narrowed his vision is, the stranger—with an enormous amount of force—slams it into his left knee. 

 

Weight collapsing under it, Kovacs is already in the process of rolling over as he hits the ground with a thud. He reaches for a blade and looks up to catch their eye, then freezes. An intense headache rips through his mind, and suddenly he’s somewhere else. Some one else.

 

Robin is sweeping the front steps of a small house within the lower city. It’s a beautiful day. Chores are almost done and their mind wanders aimlessly, wondering if they’ll cook dinner or go visit the new tavern that just opened down the road.

 

Then they’re running, following a shrill scream among a growing chorus; panicked citizens flee in every direction, looking for a place to hide. Something blots out the sun— A huge ship sprouting massive tentacles and its heading this way.

 

Robin races to scoop up a little girl who was right in its path, narrowly missing its touch. Three more people vanish into thin air. After ushering her behind a stack of crates, Robin steps back into the open while swinging the broom to strike an approaching tentacle. They’re gone in an instant.

 

 

The connection is severed when he reels back, and suddenly they’re back on the ship. Those aren’t his lost memories—he was looking through their eyes, living their life for that split second, experiencing every emotion and feeling that came with them. Confusion, fear, determination.

 

“What did you do?” 

 

The stranger—Robin—looks equally floored. “Me? What did you do? I was in your head just now, and I don’t know how.”

 

“Then stay out of it.” He snaps.

 

Before Robin can reply, the ship violently shakes as another explosion erupts much closer than before. Having already wasted enough time, Kovacs shoots to his feet and is already halfway down the corridor before Robin yells for him to hold on

 

Their presence is easily tuned out as he attempts to make sense of the ship's strange layout. Doors leading to dead ends, corridors completely torn to shreds by whatever is attacking and chambers full of those quadrupedal brain creatures. He relies purely on intuition to navigate. 

 

Everything looks the same, so he sticks to the outer wall despite its condition—risky, but easier to keep a sense of direction. North, towards the front. Wind rips at his clothes, forcing him to walk against the current and use whatever is sturdy enough for a railing. 

 

Adding to the chaos, two red dragons fly past, breathing fire against the exterior in an obvious attempt to destroy the ship, so they must be focusing on whoever—or whatever—is driving. He just had to get there first. Kovacs picks up the pace, ignoring Robin’s ongoing commentary.

 

The damage becomes more severe with every step closer to the front; entire sections blown off, machinery engulfed in flames and climbing up the walls. Smoke fills the corridors yet the ship refuses to go down. Then, he spots a figure through the smoke heading down a darkened hall. Tall and tentacled.

 

Now that the current path has finally reached a dead end, Kovacs leaps over fallen debris, dodging and weaving through areas where the flames are thinnest. The heat is something fierce, and he’s drenched in sweat by the time he makes it to the other side.

 

Kovacs risks a look over his shoulder, expecting Robin to be right there after mirroring his movements until this point, but of course it can never be that simple, can it? They’re going the long way around, sticking close to the walls at a much slower pace while physically leaning away from the flames. 

 

Rather than focus on the path ahead, they keep looking down and frantically smack themselves despite not being on fire. Waiting will take valuable time away from whatever lies behind that door and intuition is saying it's the way out. It wants him to leave the weak link behind.

 

Robin stumbles past a pod engulfed in flames right as it explodes. The shock wave sends Robin flying towards him, and they land face first into smouldering ashes with a sharp yelp. The explosion creates another problem—a crater where the pod had once been, allowing wind to suction everything outside.

 

Unfortunately, Robin is included. Terror engulfs their face upon realizing what’s about to happen. Off balance with nothing to grab onto, they claw desperately at the ground while being yanked backwards. Son of a bitch. Kovacs shoots forward, slides across the fleshy floor and impales a dagger into it.

 

He manages to reach out and grab Robin’s wrist just as they fall over the side, but immediately feels the strain. For as small as they appear, the kid is heavy. Kovacs grits his teeth and attempts to pull while Robin scrambles to reach up with their other hand, body waving in the wind like a leaf.

 

A cold shiver runs through his veins, closing his thoughts to all but one little voice in the back of his mind, and it urges him to let go. Let them fall. Having a life in your hands is only fun if you get to extinguish it. Savour the terror in their scream as they fall, knowing another innocent is gone because of you.

 

Another?

 

Kovacs inhales sharply to dispel whatever that was and tightens his grip, not realizing how loose it had gotten in that split second. He begins pulling with more strength than his tired bones can muster, but it’s enough to lift them close enough to grab the edge with their free hand.

 

From there, they do most of the work, hoisting themselves up like it’s nothing. As the rest of the room begins falling apart, both of them stumble away from the hole, breathing heavily as he guides them towards that same corridor.

 

Through the door, there’s a massive chamber devoid of any pods. Mostly intact, the design is reminiscent of what one would consider a control room. Glass tubes of dark liquid line the walls, connected to numerous command modules and other glowing panels.

 

Directly ahead, there’s two figures battling against a group of winged imps. The swarm attacks the first Mindflayer in a flurry of slashing, biting and screeching. It stands no chance as the creatures begin their feast but his attention is drawn to the second Mindflayer when it turns to them. 

 

Thrall, Its voice speaks into his very mind, causing the tadpole to vibrate and let out a low hum. Connect the nerves of the transponder. We must leave now.

 

Kovacs immediately starts running in that direction, feet obeying a mind that isn’t entirely his own. Overcome with an overwhelming urge for survival and concern for safety—but not his own. The illithid. Anything it wanted—anything it asked, he wanted too and would provide without question.

 

When he’s halfway across the chamber, the vibrations and feeling of unconditional servitude fades. A cold, empty sensation takes its place. What the fuck?  Caught up in the come-down, Kovacs narrowly dodges a fireball from a nearby Imp but Robin runs past and impales it with the broom.

 

Even back in his own mind, he’s keen to get the transponder working. If it’ll get them the hells out of here, nothing is going to stand in his way. Both of them start running, but he’s much faster and able to dodge the demons while Robin fends them off with nothing but that sturdy broom and pure determination.

 

The entire front wall of the ship has been torn away, giving an undisturbed view of the hellscape outside. Up close, the transponder is yet another fleshy, rounded module with a mass of tentacles protruding from its surface. He connects all the remaining appendages and yanks on one.

 

In a split second, the entire world shifts and engulfs them all in a bright, white light. Now that the ship has lost all control and is hurtling towards the ground at fatal speeds, the tadpole stirs to life. It forces him to push on the centre disk with all his remaining strength in order to save them both. 

 

It’s a struggle but he manages to move it an inch—enough for the ship to level out somewhat. Robin runs over and pushes too, able to move it a lot further with less effort. It doesn’t matter how steady the ship gets when it’s still on a crash course directly into the coast.

 

Then, something wet starts curling around his neck. Kovacs instinctively spins around and plunges a dagger straight into the abdomen of that Mindflayer, who lets out a deafening screech. Its fear and anger pulsates through him, tadpole mimicking the feeling. It forces him to freeze.

 

"Look out—!"

 

In retaliation for disobedience, a wave of psionic energy slams into his chest like a solid object. It knocks both feet off the ground and sucks the breath from his lungs, launching him toward the missing wall and into the open air. Past the thundering heartbeat, he thinks someone calls his name. There might even be pain. 

 

And with nothing to grab onto, Kovacs begins plummeting toward the ground.