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He really hated these people. Sakito couldn't help but feel his chest tighten every time he saw the Boonboomgers interact with one another... with anyone, really. How selfless they were. How they never stepped away from someone in need.
It was like the world was mocking him now.
See, look at what you never had. How does it feel?
That was what it felt like the world was taunting him with. Forcing him to see everything he had desperately begged for back then. Something he never got.
And now he was with people who did everything he had wanted as a child. It sickened him. He hated watching these fools and how kind they were.
Kindness would never last. That was something Sakito learned at a young age. After his parents died, he learned no one cared. No one would ever care.
So then why did these people act like they did...?
While he would work with the Boonboomgers to a degree, he certainly wasn't asking them for help. Because kindness like that came with a price. A debt to be repaid. And that was a debt he learned you never wanted to be in. It would be held over your head forever no matter what you did.
That was why he was so adamant to refuse help. He couldn't allow himself to ever be vulnerable again. And yet... they never stopped trying.
Taiya reached out his hand more times than Sakito could count. Each time he had coldly refused. He thought Taiya got the hint, but then he heard him and Ishiro one day and he really didn't like the contents of what he overheard.
"Why do you even bother with him? He's an ass." Ishiro had complained after watching Taiya again try to get Sakito to accept his help.
"He needs help. I can't just abandon him because he was a little rude." Taiya replied.
"But he's more than just rude. He needs his attitude to change completely."
"And that will only happen if I keep trying."
"What?" Ishiro stared at him with wide eyes. Sakito found himself in as much shock.
"He's lashing out at us because he's traumatized. Do you not see it? He's afraid to open up again." Taiya said.
Sakito left the area quickly after that. His heart was pounding.
He knew... he knew he was projecting onto others... but to hear someone acknowledge it was too much. He didn't want to be reminded he was too afraid to let people in. Didn't need to be reminded of how badly this place had failed him.
...
Sakito stood now, Taiya facing him. The latter had called out to him and asked to talk quickly. Sakito would rather not, but figured it would cause more problems than it was worth to ignore him.
"Why won't you come with me? You need a place to stay right?" Taiya asked again for the millionth time it felt like.
"I'm fine." The same response as usual. When would Taiya drop this? He wasn't giving this man any ability to make him in his debt.
"Why? Why won't you give me a chance to help you?" Taiya asked. A new question for once.
Sakito didn't know why, but he let it all out. "Because every time I bother everyone abandons me in the end or makes me feel like shit for wanting help. I'm not putting myself up for that anymore. Leave me alone."
"What do you mean? I want to help you. You wouldn't bother me. I'm the one pursuing this."
"You say that now, but if I show you my true colors, you'll say I'm too much like everyone always has." Sakito felt tears forming in his eyes as his emotions began to overwhelm him.
"Even your friend?"
"I've never let him know the real me for a reason."
Taiya was silent for a while, seeming to be thinking of how to respond.
"I've learned everyone likes me better if I pretend to be fine." Sakito stated. "I'm better this way."
He was sick of being hopeful. Sick of thinking someone might finally stay. For as kind as these Boonboomgers seemed... would he be their breaking point? Sakito didn't want to find out.
He had people... had people he could interact with that kind of understood him. Even if they weren't friends and he didn't like them that much, he still formed a bit of a bond with them over the fighting they did together.
He didn't want to go back to being all alone... to just be looked at in disgust. Not seen as human.
"Why are you putting their comfort over your well-being?" Taiya asked.
Sakito stared at him. He didn't know how to respond to that.
"Because I'm sick of trying to find someone who actually likes me. Do you know how badly it's fucked me up being tossed aside again and again? Do you know how much it hurts when the people who were meant to love you just refuse to even look at you anymore?!" Sakito yelled.
He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. He let out a lot more than he wanted to.
"Your parents didn't care?" Taiya asked.
"My biological parents did, but they died when I was very young. My foster parents didn't like the fact a broken child came to them and made sure I knew it." Sakito said through gritted teeth.
"I'm sorry you've been let down by everyone."
"I don't want your sympathy. Leave me alone."
Sakito turned to walk away, when arms wrapped around him from behind. The two of them stood silently for a while. Sakito didn't know what to say.
When was the last time someone had hugged him...?
"I want to help you. I'm not going to stop trying." Taiya said.
"And I won't stop pushing you away." Sakito responded, trying hard to keep his voice steady.
"We'll just have to see which one of us caves first then, won't we?"