Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Cut to an astronaut in space next to a satellite with TDI, TDA, TDWT and TDROTI written on it. “We've been to the movies. We've been around the world. And this season, we're going right back where it all began. At Camp Wawanakwa!” Chris’s voice came as the camera panned to the earth, showing Chris on the dock next to an intern. “I'm Chris McLean! And as you can see, things have changed since we've been away. And by "changed", I mean gotten really, really dangerous.” he explained as the intern was hit by a tentacle, launching him away. “Good stuff. But the rules of the game remain the same. A handful of unsuspecting teens will bunk with complete strangers, air their dirty laundry in our outhouse confessional, and compete in life-threatening challenges all over the island and risk being voted off. Last one standing wins one. Million. Dollars! Speaking of our cast, here they come now!” he explained as a yacht passed by with all the 24 contestants as it went by without stopping.

“No!” Owen yelled.

“No. Not them. This season, we've got all new players fighting for the million. And here they come now. For real.” Chris said as a new yacht came with 13 other teenagers. “Meet Jo!” he said as a girl with blonde hair wearing a tracksuit was shown.

“Stay out of my way if you value your kiwis.” Jo told the person next to her, a ginger boy wearing overalls.

“Scott!” Chris introduced.

“Right back at ya.” Scott told Jo as he sniffed his armpit.

“Zoey and Mike!” Chris introduced a redhead girl with glasses and a guy with a blue sweater.

“Can you believe we're going to be in Total Drama? Just look at that island!” Zoey told Mike.

“Yeah. It's... beautiful.” Mike replied.

“Lightning!” Chris introduced a muscular boy wearing a blue hat with a tracksuit as he popped up and knocked Mike and Zoey away.

“Ah!” Zoey grunted as she fell away.

“Hello, gorgeous! Mwah! Ain’t no one gonna stop the Lightning from winning this!” Lightning said as he kissed his abs.

“Brick!” Chris introduced a guy wearing sunglasses with a blue vest and army pants who grabbed Zoey as she fell.

“Ah!” Zoey grunted as he dropped her to salute.

“Sir, Brick McArthur, reporting for duty, sir! It’s an honor to be here, sir!” Brick saluted.

“B and Dawn.” Chris introduced a fat boy who wore futuristic tech who fingergunned to the camera and a girl with blonde hair and a green sweater who was meditating.

“Your aura is exceptionally purplish-green. Oh, it suits you, though.” Dawn said as B smiled. “I sense that you do not like to speak. Still, nice to meet you.” she said.

“Dakota!” Chris introduced a girl with blonde hair and pink clothes on the lower area.

“Hey there! Dakota here, and I'm here to–” Dakota giggled.

“Anne Maria!” Chris introduced a girl with poofy hair, a red jacket and bandana and a lion shirt on it who was applying hairspray.

“Oh yeah, three more coats oughta do it.” Anne Maria said as she sprayed hairspray.

“Hey, whoa! Who said you could pan away?” Dakota said as she shoved Anne Maria away.

“Don't push me, blondie!” Anne Maria said as she sprayed hairspray on Dakota.

“Ah!” Dakota grunted as she choked on it and fell backward.

“Staci!” Chris introduced a chubby girl with a red bow, a pink sweater and a backpack.

“My grandma Millie invented suntans. Yeah. Before her, people smeared themselves with clay.” Staci explained as Anne Maria choked her with hairspray too.

“Cameron!” Chris introduced a scrawny boy wearing glasses and a red jacket on the upper deck.

“I can’t believe I’m seeing all this for the first time! Fresh air! A real lake! Birds! Whoa!” Cameron grunted when sam seagulls flew by, knocking him down.

“And Sam.” Chris introduced a chubby guy with curly brown hair, pink cat headphones, glasses, a yellow jacket and a gamer shirt who was currently playing on a GameGuy on the lower deck.

“Wha!” Cameron grunted as he fell next to him.

“Oh, yeah! Grenade launcher upgrade. Heh. Now we're cooking. If I can just beat this level in three minutes, I’ll get myself a new high score!” Sam said as he gamed.

“Yep. It's our roughest, toughest, most explosive season ever!” Chris said as he pulled out a remote, blowing up the boat as the competitors were sent flying away while screaming. “Right here on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” he said.

(Theme song)

“Ah! Is this what pain tastes like? It tastes even worse than all that meatloaf I ate once! I mean…” Cameron mumbled as he landed on a rock.

“Chris is so gettin' a beat down for this!” Anne Maria said as she swam past.

“Out of the way losers! High athlete coming through!” Jo said as she swam past Zoey and Staci and then jumped over Sam who was trying not to get his GameGuy wet.

“Hey! This console doesn’t come for free!” Sam angrily said.

“Help!” Cameron said as he drowned.

“Help yourself, spazz.” Scott said as he swam by while Cameron sank.

“I'll save you, little girl!” Lightning said as he came out of the water while holding Cameron in one hand.

“I'm a boy!” Cameron said.

Meanwhile, Dakota was on a raft next to a boat with paparazzi taking photos of her.

“Hi, fellas! How ever did you find me?” Dakota asked.

“Uh, we got your text?” The photographer replied.

“Just go with it, please?” Dakota said.

“For crying out loud! Uninvited guests, over.” Chris told his earpiece as Chef came out of the water next to the boat in a scuba suit.

“I’m gonna enjoy this.” Chef said as he put a bomb on the boat, blowing it up and causing Dakota to be launched back.

“Not cool!” Dakota yelled as she hit Cameron, launching him out of Lightning’s hand and landing on it herself.

“Hey, where did the little girl go?” Lightning asked as Cameron hit Anne Maria’s hair.

“Oof!” Cameron mumbled as he fell.

“Hey! No touching the hair, four-eyes!” Anne Maria said as she swam away while applying hair spray.

“I wish my third uncle twice removed was here! He invented life preservers!” Staci yelled as she drowned.

“Hang on!” Mike yelled.

“I'm coming! Oh!” Mike and Zoey yelled as they came at the same time.

“Uh, heh, no, you first, please.” Mike said.

“No, please. Go ahead. I insist.” Zoey said.

“Well, I mean, if you insist. Heh.” Mike said when he was pulled under the water by Staci.

“Huh. Hold on!” Zoey yelled as she dove in and emerged with Mike and Staci. “Are you alright?” she asked.

“I think? Thanks. I owe you one.” Mike said.

Confessional: Mike

“Okay, my first confessional. So, um, Zoey. Nice girl. Okay, super nice. I wonder if she'll go out with a guy like me. See, I have this um... quirk. I just hope my condition doesn't ruin everything for me again. Oh.” Mike sighed.

Confessional: Zoey

“Wow. I can't believe I'm actually in the Total Drama confessional. It's so exciting! Most people here seem nice so far. I hope they all like me. I could use a few new friends. Or friends period. Oh, what if they hate me? Maybe this flower was too big. Am I trying too hard? You like me, right?” Zoey said.

Cut to Jo arriving at the shore. “Woohoo! That's what I'm talking about! First one on the-- gah. How did you-- you're not even wet!” Jo said as she saw Dawn meditating on a rock.

“Hm? Oh. I used a shortcut.” Dawn said.

“Ugh, just don’t think you can defeat me by using some weird magic powers.” Jo said.

“I know what you feel. It’s in your aura, you have a need to always be the first at everything to prove yourself.” Dawn said.

“Well that’s not creepy at all.” Jo rolled her eyes.

Confessional: Jo

“All of the people here seem to be wimps so far. I could easily beat them all with my hands tied behind my back while sleeping! Couldn’t they at least find 12 other people who aren’t complete wimps?” Jo complained.

Confessional: Dawn

“Greetings fellow kindred spirits, I am Dawn. I am a dedicated follower of mother nature. Last night, the universe sent me a message, saying that I must compete on this vile show. It said that I needed to win the money so I could use it to build a sanctuary for all the poor animals. I hope my good vibrations manage to touch the auras of the people here.” Dawn said.

“Ma'am.” Brick panted as he reached the shore and collapsed.

“I thought soldiers were supposed to be tough.” Jo said.

“I am! I’m just… not very good at swimming.” Brick said.

“I bet that’s not the only thing you suck at.” Jo said.

“Hey! I’ll have you know, my family are all very respected soldiers!” Brick said.

Confessional: Brick

“I may be the strongest player here, but I'm all about teamwork. Back in cadets, I took the teamwork medal three years running! Also, the bed-making medal, the "flag-folding" medal, and the letters-home-to-mom medal. I always win that one.” Brick explained.

Cut to B walking to shore with a choking Cameron on his head.

“I think the first elimination is obvious.” Jo mocked.

“Hey!” Cameron said.

Confessional: Cameron

“I'm what's known as a... bubble boy. Growing up, my mom was really overprotective. So I've never gone swimming before. Up until six hours ago, I've never done anything before. Except read and sigh a lot. But that doesn't mean I'm not a force to be reckoned with. No way! Danaus Plexippus? The monarch butterfly? D'ah! Oh, it's so heavy!” Cameron grunted as a butterfly landed on his head, knocking him down.

Cut to Scott arriving at the shore. “Ugh, finally. Of course Chris just had to pull off some crazy shit like that.” Scott complained when Mike, Zoey and Staci arrived.

“We made it!” Zoey said as they all sat on some rocks.

“Yeah. And my great-great-great uncle Boris invented swimming! Before him, people just swung their arms around like this and sank to the bottom. And my great-great-great-great-great-great–” Staci explained.

“Yeah, that's great.” Mike said as he looked at Zoey when Sam was thrown on shore while holding his GameGuy out of the water as he spat out a fish.

“Level one complete!” Sam said.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Scott rolled his eyes.

Confessional: Sam

“I knew I should've played that Swii Fitness Workout Game. Ha ha. Oh, I just hope I don't get cut first. That would be lame. But if I stick it out long enough to get cut sixth or even seventh, how cool would that be?” Sam chuckled as he played on his GameGuy.

“So stoked to be here! I've been watching Total Drama forever! Who knows? Maybe I'll even make some new friends.” Zoey said.

“Yes. That would be good considering you were an only child and all.” Dawn said.

“Wha? Who told you that?” Zoey said.

“Your soul reads like an open book. You had such a lonely childhood. It must have been difficult.” Dawn said.

“Uh, yeah. I’m just… gonna go now.” Zoey said as she backed away from Dawn.

“Sha-bam! The Lightning is here to strike! Ah yeah, who’s the best? I am!” Lightning said as he jumped out of the water and began kissing his biceps.

“Whoa, take a look at Mr. Selfless here.” Scott mocked.

Confessional: Lightning

“These guys don’t know what they’re in for! Back home, I play 20 different sports and have more than 50 medals and trophies! That million is gonna be mine! Sha-bam!” Lightning cheered. 

“Where’s Chris? I need to give him a good smackdown for the crap he pulled!” Anne Maria said as she came.

“Ugh, my hair is all ruined!” Dakota complained as she arrived.

“Well, I think it still looks good, heh.” Sam chuckled.

“Attention fresh meat! See the trail leading into the forest? Race to the end of the trail and do not disturb the wildlife! That would be bad!” Chris said from the loudspeaker.

“Yeah. We wouldn't wanna upset the bunnies.” Lightning nudged Sam as he chuckled.

“Or the Goomkas!” Sam said as Lightning looked confused.

“The tiniest sound can set them off. Like this!” Chris said as he played an air horn noise, causing a roaring noise and trees to fall as all the contestants ran away.

Cut to Jo crossing a finish line in the woods, followed by Lightning. “Yes! Sorry you had to lose to a girl.” Jo mocked Lightning.

“What girl? Lightning didn't lose, bro. Lightning never loses.” Lightning replied.

Confessional: Jo

“He can’t be that dumb, right? He’s just trying to piss me off!” Jo said.

“Captain Modesty, two steps left, you're on Team A. Yo, Jo, move right, you're Team B. Pitsniffer, you're Team A. Corporal Brickhouse! Team B.” Chris said as Scott came, followed by Brick.

“Sir, yes, sir!” Brick saluted as B came.

“Silent Treatment, Team A.” Chris said.

“Uh, what about me?” Cameron asked as B turned his back, showing Cameron clinging onto him.

“Bubble Boy, Team B.” Chris said.

“Okie dokie.” Cameron said as he got off when Zoey and Mike came.

“Zoey the Lonely, Team B.” Chris said.

“Only as a child. Seriously.” Zoey said.

“The Aura Whisperer, Team A.” Chris said as Dawn came while floating.

“Ah!” Mike said in shock.

“Saved by a Girl, Team B. Princess Wannabe, Team A. Tan in a Can, Team B.” Chris said as Dakota arrived, followed by Anne Maria. “Yo, Game Junkie! Team A.” he said as Sam arrived and collapsed.

“Sweet!” Sam said.

“My uncle Bill won the New York marathon four times because marathons were... first proposed by my great... great…” Staci collapsed as she came.

“And chatty Staci. Team B. Since Jo was the first to arrive, her team gets more members.” Chris said.

“You’re welcome!” Jo told her team.

“By the way, what the heck was that thing in the forest?” Scott asked.

“I'm pretty sure that cry does not belong to any known animal species.” Cameron said.

“Was it a giant Ganowserf!? Those things can’t be beaten without getting the water gun first!” Sam said.

“Relax. It'll all make sense eventually.” Chris said and laughed evilly as the contestants looked scared. “Now, this season of Total Drama will be a little bit different. For example, since there’s only 13 of you, it’s only going to be 13 episodes instead of 26.” he said.

“It's never been that short before.” Zoey said.

“I know, sad that I don’t get to tortue you guys more but whatevs. Since you're all first-timers, I'm gonna cut you a break and hide this bad boy somewhere in the campgrounds. A genuine McLean-brand Chris head. Your free ticket back into the game, even if your teammates vote you off. Whoever finds it will become the most powerful player in Total Drama history!” Chris said as he pulled out a wooden head of himself.

Confessional: Jo

“That idol could be useful to save myself if I get in too much danger. I just need to find it before all these wimps.” Jo thought.

“Is the cleft on my chin really that big?” he said as he pulled out a wooden head of himself.

“Yep. And it looks like a butt.” Scott said.

“Moving on. Time for the team names.” Chris said.

“Team Lightning! No wait, Lightning Squad!” Lightning said.

“The Gaming Gorillas!” Sam said.

“Great suggestions, Lightning and Sam. But names have already been chosen by moi. Team A, you shall henceforth be known as The Toxic Rats!” Chris said.

“Killer.” Sam chuckled.

“Can we make it the Toxic Lightnings instead?” Lightning said.

“And Team B, you are hereby dubbed... The Mutant Maggots.” Chris said.

“Just like back at the army.” Brick sniffled.

“Um... what's with all the references to chemical waste?” Mike asked when they heard a roar.

“It's the monster!” Cameron yelled.

“Ah!” Cameron and Zoey said in shock as some trees fell and a squirrel came out of a bush.

“Hey, it's just a stupid squirrel!” Jo said.

“Aw! It’s cute!” Dakota said when the squirrel blinked sideways, making her scream.

“Oh my gosh! What's wrong with it?” Dawn gasped.

“While we were gone, I rented the island out to a nice family oriented bio-hazardous waste disposal company. Sweet people. But the waste is having a teensy bit of an impact on the flora and fauna.” Chris explained.

“I told you that was a bad idea.” Chef said as he came while the squirrel ate a fly with it’s tongue like a frog.

“Cool!” Sam chuckled.

Confessional: Zoey

“I know some crazy stuff happened in the show before, but I’d say mutated animals are a new low.” Zoey said.

“Weird. I want one.” Dakota said as she looked at the squirrel. It then shot lasers out of it’s eyes, causing Dakota to jump in Sam’s arms out of fear.

“Most. Danger. Ever!” Chris laughed.

Confessional: Dakota

Dakota was crying. “Chris is the meanest ever! Hang on. Not too blotchy, okay, take two.” Dakota said as she took out her mirror to look at her face and then began crying again.

Confessional: Sam

“Man, that girl Dakota is kind of cute. I’d ask her out but the last time I asked out a girl, it didn’t go so well.” Sam said.

“Now, before we start our very first challenge of the season, let's give out some rewards. Jo, because you made it up here before anyone else, your team gets a trampoline! And the Rats get a hacksaw.” Chris said as Chef jumped on a trampoline with a hacksaw.

“Ah!” Chef grunted as he fell off, making Lightning laugh before he got hit by the hacksaw.

“Ah!” Lightning grunted as Jo laughed before she got hit with a trampoline.

“Oof! Ah!” Jo grunted as she fell.

“What do the items have to do with this bomb?” Chris said as he showed a bomb.

“Um, he won't really blow us up again, will he?” Mike said.

“Won't I? Find out when we come back.” Chris said as the screen faded to black.

Cut to everyone next to two trees with totems hanging from them. “Those are your team totems. You need to cut 'em down and get 'em into the river and ride 'em back to the campgrounds. First team there gets their pick of the cabins. But hurry, the totems are rigged with bombs that will explode if you don't plant them in front of your cabin in seven minutes or less. Starting now.” Chris said.

“All right, let's do this! Yeah! Ah!” Jo grunted as he jumped on the trampoline and was launched into the water.

“Stand back! Lightning is on it! Ah! Oof! Dang, slippery tree! Don't worry. Lightning never quits!” Lightning said as he tried to climb the tree but ended up sliding down while B looked deep in thought.

“So, uh, any ideas on how to do this?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know, aren’t you the gamer? Don’t you know any games like this?” Scott said.

“Nope, I haven’t played any games like this.” Sam said as Scott facepalmed while B looked like he had an idea.

“It's too bad that my third cousin Jack isn't here to give us tips on bow-handed tree climbing.” Staci told her team.

“Okay, if Jo hits the center of the trampoline with fifty pounds of pressure per square inch-- oof!” Cameron grunted as he was shoved by Anne Maria.

“Back off, I want a crack at this.” Anne Maria said.

“But I calculated for Jo's weight!” Cameron said as Anne Maria jumped on the trampoline and hit the bottom of the 

“Ooh…” Zoey, Mike, Jo, Cameron, and Brick winced as Jo kicked the trampoline away, causing Anne Maria to fall.

“This reminds me of that time my great-great-” Staci tried to say but was interrupted.

Confessional: Anne Maria

“Sure, I wanna win a million dollars, but not at the expense of my looks! I mean, check me out. Perfect hair, perfect tan, all this is worth a billion, easy.” Anne Maria explained.

Lightning was still trying to climb the tree when B moved a log on a rock and approached Scott. “The hell do you want? Ugh, fine. You want me on this thing?” Scott said as B pushed him on the log.

“Whoa, hey! Heh. You want me to stand here?” Sam said as B pushed him close to the tree.

“Whoa! Oh! Whoa…” Scott yelled as B jumped on the opposite side of the log, launching him on top of Sam.

“Whoa, dude, nice thinking!” Sam said when Lightning fell down the tree.

“Ah!” Lightning groaned.

Confessional: Lightning

“First of all, tree climbing is not a recognized sport. Plus, that tree was covered in butter or something! But if Chris is trying to make Lightning look bad, he can think again. Lightning never gives up and never surrenders! Sha-Lightning!” Lightning posed.

“Time to win this! T'ah! Ah! Gah, help, help, help! Ah, help!” Brick screamed as he jumped on the trampoline and grabbed the axe stuck to the totem and screamed as he realized he was stuck there.

“Good grief.” Jo said.

“Sheesh, what a baby.” Anne Maria said.

“Calm down, you’re just making yourself more likely to fall!” Cameron said.

“And my great-great-great Aunt Dora actually taught native Canadians to carve totems.” Staci said.

“Aw, man! This isn't working!” Mike said and then gasped in air. “G'all darn it, cut the dang rope already!” Mike said, acting like an old man.

“That's what we're trying to do, Mike.” Anne Maria said.

“Mike? Name's Chester, missy.” Chester said.

“Uh, excuse me?” Zoey said.

“You heard me right! And what the hell is this place anyway?” Chester said.

“We’re at Total Drama? Didn’t you sign up for this? Is this an act?” Zoey asked.

“What the hell even is Total Drama-whatever? All you damn whippersnappers are pissing me off!” Chester said.

Confessional: Zoey

“Mike is so sweet. You know, I don't really get his old man comedy routine. But I bet it's really funny if you're from like, France or something.” Zoey said.

“Ah! Lightning strikes!” Lightning cheered as B launched him onto Sam.

Meanwhile, Brick was still holding onto the axe when he saw a squirrel. “U-Uh, go away. Shoo! Shoo! Ah!” Brick yelled as the squirrel shot lasers from his eyes.

“Back in my day, we didn't need fancy saws and axes to cut ropes. We did just fine with stones!” Chester said as he threw a rock at the squirrel which upset it, making it shoot lasers at them insead.

Meanwhile, B launched Dawn onto Lightning as she landed perfectly on one foot. “One more person will do it. Dakota?” Sam said. Dakota was a few feet away, posing on a stump as some paparazzi took pictures of her when Chris cut a tree, crushing the paparazzi.

“Ah!” Dakota said in shock.

“Timber! No time for photo ops, Dakota!” Chris said.

“Take it easy!” Dakota said.

Meanwhile, the Maggots screamed as the squirrel shot lasers at them. He then noticed Brick and began shooting at him. “Ah! Not the crew cut!” Brick yelled as the squirrel shot lasers at him while he dodged them as a laser hit the rope, cutting the totem as it fell with Brick.

“Yes!” Jo, Anne Maria and Chester cheered.

“Mission accomplished.” Brick saluted.

Cut to B putting Dakota on the log. “Ah! Put me down! Take it easy!” Dakota said.

“Only three minutes left!” Dawn said as B launched Dakota.

“Whoa! Oof!” Dakota grunted as she hit the tree and then fell on Dawn.

“Saw the ropes!” Dawn said.

“How are you supposed to– It won't work!” Dakota said as she tried to cut it with the dull side.

“Teeth down on the rope! Down!” Sam said.

“No, girl, you cannot be that dumb!” Lightning said.

“Pretend it's daddy's steak knife!” Dawn said.

“Oh! There!” Dakota giggled as she managed to cut the rope, causing the totem to fall.

“Heh. B, change your name to A+!” Sam said.

Confessional: B

B proudly prodded his hand against his chest.

Confessional: Scott

“B thinks he's so smart. But once my plan goes into action, he won't know what hit him! Ow!” Scott said as he threw a rock, only for it to bounce off the wall and hit him in the face.

Cut to the Maggots riding their totem on the river. “They're gaining on us!” Jo said as she saw the Rats approaching from behind.

“It's my duty to inform you, ma'am, that we have bigger problems.” Brick said as they approached a waterfall.

“My first waterfall!” Cameron said.

“And maybe our last!” Chester said as they screamed while they went down the waterfall.

“I don’t like it!” Cameron said as they bounced onto a hill and then slid down.

“Whoa!” Zoey grunted as she fell off the log but managed to hold on.

“Ah, kids today and their crazy log rides.” Chester complained.

“Yeah! My great-great-great second Aunt Mary invented log riding, and she–” Staci tried to say but was interrupted.

“We don't care!” Jo, Brick, Anne Maria, Cameron and Chester replied.

“Mike!” Zoey yelled.

“Huh?” Chester inhaled when he saw Zoey holding on and turned back to Mike. “Zoey? Zoey! Hang on tight!” Mike said as he pulled Zoey back on the log.

“Okay! Thanks, Mike.” Zoey said.

“Heh. No problem.” Mike said.

Confessional: Mike

“Well, thankfully nothing too bad came out of that. I just hope it continues like this.” Mike said.

Cut to the Toxic Rats landing on the hill and sliding down. “All right, yeah!” Lightning cheered as B made a forward motion with his arm.

“B wants us to lean forward!” Dawn said.

“Ugh, as long as this helps us win.” Scott said as they all leaned forward, passing the Maggots.

“Hey, how did they get in front of us?!” Jo said in shock.

“They must have found some tactic to gain speed. Impressive.” Cameron said.

Cut to Chris and Chef relaxing on chairs next to the cabins. “Ah, feels good to be back.” Chris said.

“You know it!” Chef said when Owen came as he panted.

“Hey, Chris! Get this. The boat wouldn't stop.” Owen said.

“Oh, look. It's former player Owen, who's not competing this year.” Chris said.

“Yeah! So, I swam back to tell you-- what?! Not competing?!” Owen said in shock.

“I'm afraid you and the other "classic" players have outlived your usefulness. Chef?” Chris said.

“Here’s a little present for your efforts.” Chef said as he strapped a bomb onto Owen. Owen ran away screaming and was blown up as Chris and Chef laughed.

Cut to the Toxic Rats arriving on the log. “Woohoo! First place! Go, Team Lightning!” Lightning cheered.

“Tick tock.” Chris said as he pointed at his watch.

“Quick! Grab the good cabin!” Scott said as he and Lightning put the totem on the log next to the good cabin. Suddenly, the Maggots came screaming and fell off their totem as it was launched onto the good cabin, blowing it up.

“Too bad. It had an eight-person hot tub and air conditioning.” Chris said as they all sighed.

“Yeah. My great-great-great uncle James invented log cabins! Before him, people had to sleep in the trees. And they kept falling out all the time. And my great-great-great-great-great aunt Phyllis invented roofs, and before her, houses were just walls and furniture. And every time it rained, you had to get a new sofa. Heh heh.” Staci explained as everyone looked pissed.

“Regardless, even if their cabin is toast now, since they actually managed to get their totem on a cabin, the Toxic Rats win the first challenge!” Chris said as the Rats cheered while the Maggots sighed.

“So where am I gonna sleep?” Lightning asked.

“No worries. We've got a backup cabin for you. It's every bit as nice as the one you lost.” Chris as Chef brought a new shitty cabin with the helicopter.

“Aw…” The Toxic Rats sighed.

“Crap!” Lightning angrily said.

“Team Maggot, I'll see you at the campfire for our first elimination ceremony of the season.” Chris chuckled.

Confessional: Staci

“Losing is the worst! My great-great-great-great-great aunt Flaudsor invented losing, and she was known as the only bad one of the family.” Staci explained.

Cut to the elimination ceremony. “The votes are cast. Those who receive a regular marshmallow can stay. But this season, one player will receive a very special marshmallow. A marshmallow you do not wanna eat. Whoever gets the marshmallow of Toxic Loserdom is out of the contest, which means you can't come back. Ever.” Chris began the ceremony.

“Chatterbox! You didn’t shut up at all. I’m not even gonna bother calling out anyone else, this is that obvious.” Chef called out Staci who looked confused.

“The following players are safe.” Chris said as he began tossing the marshmallows.

“Mike.” he said as he tossed him a marshmallow.

“Brick.” he said as he tossed him a marshmallow.

“Anne Maria.” he said as he tossed her a marshmallow.

“Jo.” he said as he tossed her a marshmallow.

“Zoey.” he said as he tossed her a marshmallow. Cameron looked unconcerned while Staci was worried.

“And the marshmallow of Toxic Loserdom goes to

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Staci.” he said as Chef tossed Staci a toxic marshmallow which she didn’t catch.

“Aw... but I was doing so good.” Staci sighed.

“Keep telling yourself that.” Jo rolled her eyes.

“I guess it's the Dock of Shame for me then.” Staci sighed.

“Actually, we came up with something new this season! You'll love it!” Chris said.

Cut to Staci in a catapult. “Say hello to the Hurl of Shame! Patent pending.” Chris said.

“Yeah. Catapults were invented by my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-gre-- ah!” Staci screamed as she was catapulted by Chris.

“One down, twelve to go. Who's next in line? Find out next time right here on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” Chris said as the episode ended.

VOTES:

Confessional: Jo

“That chatterbox doesn’t know when to shut the hell up.” Jo said as she showed a picture of Staci that had clown makeup drawn on it.

Confessional: Brick

“Captain Talktave’s tour of duty needs to be over before it gets worse.” Brick said as he crossed out a picture of Staci.

Confessional: Cameron

“She really didn’t do anything aside from talk. Way too much.” Cameron said as he showed a picture of Staci.

Confessional: Zoey

“I might be desperate for friends, but there are just people that are impossible to befriend.” Zoey said, crossing out a picture of Staci.

Confessional: Mike

“Thankfully I didn’t mess anything up. Anyway, that Staci girl needs to go.” Mike said as he showed a crossed out picture of Ezekiel.

Confessional: Anne Maria

“Girl needs to learn when to shut up.” Anne Maria said and crossed out a picture of Staci.

Confessional: Staci

“My great-great-great-great granduncle invented paper. Before that, people just wrote on anything that worked.” Staci said as she scribbled on a picture of Cameron.

BONUS CLIP

Staci’s Audition Tape

Staci was in front of a blackboard in her room. “Yeah! I'm gonna win Total Drama: Revenge of the Island 'cause I come from a long line of people who think outside the box. Like my great-grandfather Dave who invented forks. Before him, people just shoved food into their mouths with strips of bark. Yeah. And my great great aunt Lois invented plates. Before her, food just sat around on the floor getting stepped on. So sad. And my great great great great uncle George, he invented floors. Before him, the only way you could have a carpet is if you let grass grow in the inside of your house. I can't wait to tell everyone about my family. I just know they'll be impressed.” Staci explained on the board as she showed some pictures.

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island…” Chris begun the recap. “thirteen new competitors were blown away by this year's challenges. They were treated to an early morning swim, said hello to the island's wildlife, and did some totem surfing. Explosive! In the end, Staci's team got so sick of her nonstop tall tales, that they sent her packing, Hurl of Shame style. Who'll go home next? And how much pain can I put them through first? Find out right now on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” he ended the recap.

(Theme song)

Cut to the girls side of the Rats cabin. “Really? Oh no!” Dawn gasped as she saw a bird.

“Will you keep it down? If I don't get my beauty sleep, I'll lose it!” Dakota said with a sleeping mask on.

“Yes. Because your need for fame is really a depressed cry for love.” Dawn said.

“Who told you that? My therapist?” Dakota said.

“I see people's auras. And it looks like someone threw up on yours.” Dawn said.

“Oh, go eat a worm!” Dakota angrily said.

“Uh... no thanks.” Dawn said as the bird spat out a worm and offered it to her.

Confessional: Dakota

“Ugh, why did they have to blow up that fancy cabin? I haven’t been able to get any sleep due to how crappy the bed is! Maybe I should just quit so I can go back to the mansion… no wait, I need to get my own spinoff show! They won’t just give it to me if I quit!” Dakota thought.

Cut to the girls side of the Rats cabin. Everyone was sleeping when Scott suddenly burst in and shut the door while panting. “Huh? Hey, man. What's with all the dirt?” Sam asked.

“Oh, uh... just had an early morning make out session with one of the honeys.” Scott replied.

“Sha-dig? Which one?” Lightning asked as he got up.

“Please tell me it’s not Dakota.” Sam said.

“Um…” Scott thought.

(Flashback) Scott was being chased by a beaver while screaming.

“A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell.” Scott said.

“You kissed a gentleman?” Sam asked.

Confessional: Scott

“All right. I was out looking for that hidden immunity idol, not that they need to know. It's all part of my strategy. Let my team lose so I can get the big threats on the team get voted out, also making the Maggots develop a false sense of security before I pick 'em off in the merge! That idol can be useful to get rid of anyone, so I need to find it before anyone else does.” Scott said when he heard a knocking noise. “Occupied!” he yelled when the beaver burst in from the side, making him scream.

Cut to the girls side of the Maggots cabin. “Hey! How'd you sneak that in?” Zoey asked Anne Maria who was using a hairdryer.

“Easy! I stuck it in my pouf!” Anne Maria said as she pulled hair spray out of her hair and began spraying it, making Zoey cough.

“Ugh, could you at least not do that indoors?” Zoey asked.

“Don’t tell me what I can do, redhead.” Anne Maria replied as she continued spraying while Zoey choked.

Confessional: Zoey

“Ugh, we’ve only been here for one day and I already feel like my lungs are decaying due to all that hairspray!” Zoey choked.

Cut to the guys side of the Maggots cabin. “These young whippersnappers with all their yammering and tomfoolery.” Chester mumbled in his sleep.

“Aw, c'mon, Chester, keep it down.” Mike mumbled in his sleep.

“Fine. For now.” Chester mumbled in his sleep. Meanwhile, Cameron was watching them while huddled up in his sleeping bag.

Confessional: Cameron

“I had a hard time falling asleep. It was my first night outside my bubble. But finally, I recreated it with my sleeping bag, and I was out like that! What an adventure. Also, Mike’s been acting kind of weird all throughout the night. I have a theory on what the reason could be, but I don’t want to jump to any conclusions.” Cameron explained.

Cut to Brick running outside. “One, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two!” Brick yelled as he ran.

Confessional: Brick

“As the only soldier here with any military training, I've definitely got a winning edge. My biggest competition is probably Jo. Yeah, good thing we're on the same team! Like my drill sergeant always says, "Keep your enemies close, and your rivals closer!" W-Wait, I did that wrong. "Keep your family close and your enemy at arm's length." Uh, no, n-no, hold on.” Brick said.

Brick continued running, and ended up crashing into Jo, who was also running, in front of the cabins. “Ow!” Brick and Jo both grunted in pain as a squirrel laughed at them.

“Oh, just did my morning 5K run, you?” Jo asked.

“8K.” Brick replied.

“I mean I did an 8K warm up, then 5K at a full sprint.” Jo replied.

“My entire run was uphill.” Brick said.

“Yeah, uphill with my eyes shut!” Jo said.

“I ran backwards with earplugs!” Brick said.

“Why earplugs?” Jo asked.

“I dunno!” Brick replied.

“Team Maggot is lucky to have us. We were the only reason that the team was even close to winning. We'll carry them all the way to victory!” Jo said.

“Sounds good to me! I look forward to working with you, ma’am!” Brick said as he shook her hand.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.” Jo said as she shook back.

Confessional: Jo

“I'll carry them to victory. Just being nice so that aptly named clump of cadet meat will be loyal. But when the time comes… Ow! Splinter! You little…” Jo angrily said as she broke a stick.

Cut to Chris blowing an air horn on the loudspeaker. “Up and at 'em, my little morning glories! It's time for today's challenge!” Chris said as everyone came.

“What?! But Lightning hasn't had his DPA!” Lightning said.

“Huh?” Sam asked.

“Daily protein allotment? Duh!” Lightning replied.

“And I haven't had enough beauty sleep.” Dakota said with her sunglasses on.

“C'mon, you look-- great sons of Orion!” Sam yelled in fear as Dakota took her sunglasses off, showing that she had eyebags.

“You can catch up on your sleep after the challenge. Right this way to the Bay of Dismay.” Chris said.

“Aw…” Everyone awed.

“Hey, it's me. We're going to some bay a-- hey!” Dakota said as she took out her phone before Chris grabbed it with a magnet attached to a fishing rod.

“Alright, high score! Wait, hey! I almost beat that level!” Sam said as his GameGuy was taken away by the same magnet.

“Contraband! Now it's mine! Confiscators keepers! Come on! Your humiliation awaits!” Chris said.

Cut to everyone walking. “Bay of Dismay? Yikes. Sounds like one of those fight locations in Total Warriors 2.” Zoey said.

“You like action movies? Me too! Are you also into ultimate kickboxing?” Mike asked.

“Yup. I once played Alley Brawler 5 for 10 hours straight.” Zoey said.

“Wow, impressive.” Mike said.

“Hey, Dakota. Sorry about before. I was just so taken by your beautiful... nostrils.” Sam told Dakota before realizing what he just said.

Confessional: Sam

“Nostrils? Nostrils?!” Sam facepalmed.

“Thanks! I like your... uh... can I get back to you on that?” Dakota said and walked away as Sam sighed.

“I hope this isn't another physical challenge. I'd prefer something a little more... academic.” Cameron said.

“I bet you do, toothpick. I'm surprised your scrawny neck can even support that giant head.” Jo replied.

“My greatest strengths are mental.” Cameron said.

“Well, you're mental if you think you can win Total Drama without getting physical. Just stay out of my way.” Jo said as Cameron looked upset.

“So what do you think the challenge is gonna be? You don't talk much, do ya?” Anne Maria asked B who didn’t say anything.

Confessional: B

B shrugged.

Cut to two sets of platforms with seats over the water. The Rats were tied to the right seat while the Maggots were tied to the left.

“Welcome to the "Getting to Know You" trivia game challenge. Everyone strapped in all nice and snug?” Chris asked.

“Too snug. It's cutting into my shoulders.” Scott said.

“Yeah! Why is this dumb thing trying to hold the Lightning down!” Lightning angrily said.

“Yeah. Children-sizes harnesses will do that. I'll be asking our players embarrassing personal questions, and I mean majorly humiliating. If the player I'm talking about gets the poorly wired buzzer and owns their humiliation before the time runs out, their team gets a point. First team to five wins part one and a distinct advantage in part two. But if no one owns up, this happens.” Chris said as he pressed a button on the remote, sinking the Maggots into the water as they screamed when they saw a mutant shark before they were pulled back up.

“What the hell was that thing!?” Jo said.

“There's some kind of two-legged shark monster down there!” Mike said.

“You mean Fang? Yeah. It turns out toxic waste can mess with stuff underwater too. Heh, who knew?” Chris chuckled.

“Ha. Better them than us.” Scott whispered to Lightning.

“Pfft, I can take a mutant shark any day!” Lightning boasted as Scott rolled his eyes.

“Anywho, if a team gets dunked, their opponents can steal by guessing which dunkee is guilty. Guess right and you get a point. Guess wrong, and this happens.” Chris said as he pressed another button, dumping the Rats while they screamed as he pulled them back up. “Now that we understand the rules, let's start the game. To the Rats, now listen carefully. Who did this on the one and only date they ever had?” he said as he showed a fart noise on the TV, making people laugh.

“Where did you get that?” Sam asked as he pressed his button.

“Who wet their pants on the first and last day of school?” Chris asked.

“Whoa, one of us is a pants wetter?” Mike asked.

“Hey, don’t look at me!” Cameron said when Jo saw Brick looking ashamed.

“He who sweats it, wets it. Team before pride, maggot.” Jo said.

“Fine, it was me.” Brick sighed as he pressed the button, making people laugh.

“And it's one all!” Chris said.

“Aw, thanks Brick. I know that must've been tough.” Zoey said as Brick hid behind his seat.

“Thanks soldier. At least someone’s respectful.” Brick said.

“Rats, who still sleeps with their stuffed teddy bear?” Chris asked.

“Wow, that’s lame.” Scott said.

“Hey! Don’t disrespect Mr. Shock!” Lightning angrily said as he pressed the button.

“Honestly that’s probably the last person whom I expected it to be.” Zoey said.

“Maggots, who currently has no friends?” Chris asked.

“Ugh, did you have to make it so personal?” Zoey said as she pressed the button.

“I’m so sorry to hear that Zoey, but I could be your friend if you want.” Mike said.

“Thanks Mike.” Zoey replied.

“Rats, whose first name is really Beverly?” Chris asked.

“That's not an embarrassing question. Who cares if a girl's real name is Beverly?” Brick said. However, Dakota and Dawn looked uncaring as B sighed and pushed the button.

“Correct, Beverly. Rats get the point, but I would've preferred a verbal response.” Chris said.

“But B never talks. Just look at his aura.” Dawn said as B shrugged.

“Don't care. So, as a quick punishment…” Chris said as he pressed the button, sinking the Rats into the water. There, Fang ended up eating Scott as Chris pulled the back upç

“Ah! No, wait for me!” Scott yelled as he opened Fang’s mouth and swam back.

Confessional: Scott

“Ugh, ow. What the? A shark tooth?” Scott said as he pulled a shark tooth out of his butt.

Confessional: Fang

He looked at his mouth with a mirror to see that his tooth was missing and angrily broke it.

“Thanks for leaving me down there, team. You can win this stupid challenge without me.” Scott said as he got back on his seat.

“If he's not playing, then I'm not either.” Anne Maria said.

“Uh, since I've already been humiliated, can I go?” Sam asked.

“If that’s the case can I go too?” Brick asked.

“Okay, everyone just settle down.” Chris said.

“I'm with Anne Maria, we should stop. Not that I've got any secrets to hide, heh.” Mike said as he got up.

“Sit down, Pointy! I'm not losing this game!” Jo said as she smacked Mike.

“Whoa! Take it easy!” Zoey said.

“Hey! Host talking here! I decide when the challenge is over.” Chris said.

“Whatever, I'm out of here.” Scott said as he tried to get out but was stopped by Lightning.

“Not until we win!” Lightning said.

“Hey, it's me. Yeah, I'm using my backup phone.” Dakota told someone on her phone as everyone argued.

“All right, shut it! Thanks to that pathetic digression, now we don't have enough time to finish this challenge! Happy?” Chris asked.

“Yeah!” Scott said.

“Okay.” Sam and Lightning said.

“Yes!” Mike said.

“Only if you're happy!” Zoey said.

“You know it!” Anne Maria said.

“Affirmative, sir.” Brick said.

“Quitters.” Jo said.

“Well, you won't be happy for long. Come back after the break for an all new challenge from which there is no escape. And in the meantime…” Chris said as he pressed both buttons, dunking both teams in the water.

Cut to the Maggots walking in the woods. “Thank goodness the challenge ended before Chris could ask me an embarrassing question.” Cameron said.

“Lemme guess. "Who needs their diaper changed?"” Jo asked.

“I haven't worn a diaper since I was eleven!” Cameron said as Anne Maria and Jo burst into laughter while Brick, Zoey and Mike tried not to chuckle.

“The challenge is over, you don't have to keep humiliating yourself.” Brick whispered to Cameron.

“Heh, no, please. Go on. Or does baby need his bottle?” Jo mocked.

“I have just enough right to be here as you do. And I'll prove it in the next challenge, you'll see.” Cameron said.

“Hah, I’d like to see you try! Just try not to be too useless unless you want to get voted out.” Jo said.

“Okay, that’s enough, you don’t need to humiliate him even more.” Brick said.

Confessional: Cameron

“Why did I say that? Why?” Cameron sighed.

Cut to the Rats walking in the woods. “This is the longest I've ever gone without playing a video game. My hands feel so... empty.” Sam said.

“Chris is such a jerk. I could've sent like, six-hundred texts by now.” Dakota said.

“Wow. We have a lot in common.” Sam said.

“Why would you say something like that to me?” Dakota gasped.

“No, no, I meant about the tech withdrawal! Trust me, you're nothing like me otherwise.” Sam said.

“Aw, thanks!” Dakota said as Sam blushed.

“Chris sure did a number on our team. He took away Sam and Dakota's lucky gadgets right before the big game!” Scott told Lightning.

“Aw, man! This stinks! Why does Lightning have to be on such a wimpy team!” Lightning sighed.

“I know right? We would have been totally toast if it wasn’t for you!” Scott said as Lightning looked confident.

Confessional: Lightning

“Man, Chris should've let Lightning be a team of one. Lightning's used to carrying his teams back home. But at least those guys can actually play the game, not like this bunch of losers. I get you need to make it fair since I’m on this team, but at least choose people who aren’t 100% weak! At least that guy Scott knows who’s the best.” Lightning complained.

Confessional: Scott

“Lightning’s strong, but dumb. Maybe if I boost his ego enough, he’ll ally with me in the merge.” Scott thought.

Cut to everyone in front of an obstacle course. “Welcome, players! Now that you're all here, it's time for part two of today's challenge. The mad skills obstacle course!” Chris said.

“Hah, as if a simple challenge would be enough to showcase all my wicked skills!” Harold said as he came.

“Thank you Harold but I really don’t care. So, I’ve decided to make use of the classic contestants and have them demonstrate the challenges.” Chris said.

“Do I have to do this?” Harold asked.

“It’s in your contract. Now go!” Chris said as Harold ran to the start of the course. “The relay race begins with a mad dash from the kick start. Forget coffee, if this baby doesn't get you going, nothing will. Then it's off to the race against time with the cannonball run, over to my personal fave, Wrecking Ball Alley. Hurts so good. And moving on, we head to the Gang Plank, complete with rabid hungry beavers followed by the bouncy agony of Double Trouble. And finally, the Grand Slam, where you'll use ropes to swing into the giant baseball mitt, while avoiding those deadly bats. Piece of cake.” he explained as Harold ran through the course.

“Gosh, this is extremely dangerous! If I wasn’t so cool, I could have gotten seriously hurt!” Harold said.

“I know, and that’d be hilarious. Oh, and as you may remember, I said that the winning team from part one would have a distinct advantage in part two?” Chris said.

“But there was no winner!” Zoey said.

“Yeah, don't remind me. The losing team was gonna wear snazzy specs while competing. But since we never actually finished the competition, I've decided that everybody has to wear them! Ha ha.” Chris said.

“Hope you don’t like seeing.” Chef chuckled as he gave them all glasses.

“Hey, what's with the grandpa glasses? We won't be able to see anything wearing these.” Jo said as she wore the glasses.

“Grandpa glasses? That’s just… gosh!” Harold angrily said.

“Dork-tacular goggles won't make part two easy, or attractive, but it can be done. In theory. Competitors, take your positions.” Chris said as they all sighed.

Cut to everyone standing at their places.“First up at the kick start, it's Lightning against Anne Maria. Then, it's Dawn versus Brick versus the cannonballs. Scott faces Jo in Wrecking Ball Alley, B is up against Zoey at the Gang Plank, Sam and Mike will battle Double Trouble. And Dakota will fight Cameron for the Grand Slam. First team to finish wins the whole shebang! And the other team loses a member tonight. Since it's a relay race, you'll need something to pass: your mascots! Oh, intern!” Chris said as an intern came with two cages.

“Team Rat gets a mutant rat.” Chef said as the intern gave Lightning a rat he took out from one of the cages. “And Team Maggot gets... a mutant maggot.” he said as the intern gave Anne Maria a maggot he took out from the other cage.

“Ew! It's a what?” Anne Maria asked.

“And... go!” Chris said as he blew an airhorn.

“Let’s sha-do this-ah crap!” Lightning yelled as he ran and was kicked by the boot.

“And Lightning gets the boot!” Chris said.

“Ah!” Lightning mumbled as he fell in the mud.

“Anne Maria takes the early lead!” Chris said as Anne Maria jumped through the platforms and reached the end where Brick and Dawn were waiting.

“Here!” Anne Maria said as she put the maggot on Brick’s face, covering it with slime.

“Sir, yes, sir!” Brick said as he ran off.

“Yeah, I got it goin' on. Whoa! Oof!” Anne Maria grunted as she accidentally walked off the platform.

Meanwhile, Brick ran into a pole. “Ow! Ow.” Brick mumbled as he kept hitting the pole, not seeing where he was going when Lightning reached Dawn.

“Sha-bam! Go, creepy girl, go!” Lightning said as he gave Dawn the rat.

“I’ll try my best!” Dawn said as she ran past.

“The Rats take the lead. Or not.” Chris said as Dawn past Brick who was still slamming onto the pole when she saw some cannons pointed at her.

“Anybody wanna swap?!” Dawn asked when the rat pointed. “What's that? Duck now?” she asked as she ducked, avoiding a cannonball that hit Brick in the face.

“Duh-ay!” Brick mumbled and collapsed as Chris laughed.

“Wow, you didn’t suck like I thought you would.” Scott told Dawn as she came.

“Thanks! Now go, I sense that Brick is close!” Dawn said as she gave him the rat.

Confessional: Dawn

“I sensed that Scott was upset that I managed to reach him before Brick. I don’t have any idea why though.” Dawn said.

“Wow. We're in the lead. Great. Nice and slow, all the way to last place. Heh, right little guy? Ah! Whoa! Ow!” Scott yelled as he walked on the rolling log and got hit by a cannonball, sending him next to B.

“Faster, Soggy Pants! Go, go, go!” Jo said as Brick came while crawling.

“Duh-ay! Here's your cat!” Brick mumbled as he gave Jo the maggot and collapsed.

Meanwhile, Scott was petting the rat on the other side while B made giving motions with his hand. “Aww, who's my good freak? Who's my good little freak? There, there, little guy. Uncle Scotty kept you safe and sound. Oh, do you want this? Why didn't you say so, Beverly?” Scott said as B looked pissed.

Confessional: B

He crossed out a picture of Scott.

Meanwhile, Jo was walking on the rolling logs when she got hit by a cannonball. “Alright, yeah!” Jo cheered as she was launched.

Meanwhile, B took the rat from Scott and jumped between the platforms when one of them was eaten by the beavers, causing him to fall. He quickly made a female beavers out of the mud, making the beavers fall in love and hug it as he snuck away.

“And in a surprisingly touching move, B extends the Rats' lead.” Chris said.

“Oh, come on!” Scott complained.

Confessional: Scott

“Ugh, it really shouldn’t be this hard to throw a challenge! Beverly is easily the biggest threat, he won us the last challenge and is now carrying our team here. He needs to go!” Scott said.

Meanwhile Jo reached Zoey. “Go nerdette, go!” Jo said as she gave Zoey the maggot.

“Yeesh, no need for insults.” Zoey said as she began jumping through the platforms when the female beaver’s head fell off, making the beavers realize it was angrily and pissing them off as they chewed the platform Zoey was on. “Nice beavers… Ah!” she grunted as she fell and was attacked by beavers.

Meanwhile, B arrived next to Sam. “Yes! Go, B! Lay it on me!” Sam said as B gave him the rat as he began bouncing on the platforms. “Ah! Dakota, take it!” he grunted as he save Dakota, however she was too busy applying make-up, making her not notice him as he fell in the mud.

“Okay, ready!” Dakota said as she turned back.

“No! Come back!” Sam said in the mud as the rat ran away.

Meanwhile, Zoey climbed up the final platform and gave Mike the maggot. “Here!” Zoey said as she gave it.

“Got it!” Mike said as they looked at each other’s eyes lovingly when the maggot puked on him. “Okay, I'm going.” he said as he ran away.

“Ah!” Zoey grunted as she was pulled down by the beavers.

“Okay, Mike. It's just some jumps over an area you can barely see! You can do this, c'mon.”  Mike told himself when he suddenly breathed in and got sparkly eyes and lipstick.

“Wrong! Only one person can do this! Svetlana, the Olympic queen of gymnastics!” Svetlana said as she jumped through the platforms and reached the end.

“Whoa! Mike unveils a secret skill and the Maggots retake the lead!” Chris said as Mike inhaled.

“Svetlana? Mike, how did you do that?” Cameron asked.

“Huh? Uh, do what? Uh, here ya go.” Mike chuckled nervously as he gave Cameron the maggot.

“Uh, okay. Wish me luck!” Cameron said as he went away when Sam came covered in mud.

“Here!” Sam said as he handed Dakota the mud.

“Ew! Can you at least wipe it off?” Dakota said in disgust.

“Yes! Yes! I've never felt so alive! I'm a dead man.” Cameron said as he ran and saw the final obstacle.

Cut to Zoey being held by the beavers. “Please let me go!” Zoey said as the beavers opened a ketchup bottle “I said let me go!” she yelled as she kicked both beavers in the kiwis, making them collapse in pain. “Oh, sorry. But I did tell you to stop.” she said.

Cut to Cameron when Dakota came. “Well, Dakota fans, here goes nothing! Whoa!” Dakota grunted as she swinged with the rope and ended up falling in the mud pool, making her scream.

“Wha, ah!” Cameron grunted as he swung but hit a baseball bat.

Meanwhile, Dakota got back on the platform when some paparazzi arrived in a balloon. “Dakota, over here! Smile for us, beautiful heiress.” The paparazzi said as they took photos.

“Finally. Hi! You're just in time for my, uh, mud bath!” Dakota said as she posed.

“No! Ignore them and swing! Swing!” Sam yelled on the sidelines next to his team who all looked disappointed.

“Man, that girl is completely useless!” Lightning said.

“For once I agree.” Scott said.

“Velocity times mass times wind speed…” Cameron thought when he got bitten by the maggot, making him fall back as he screamed and then ping-ponged between the bats and crashed into the glove as he groaned while the maggot puked on him.

“The Maggots win!” Chris said as the Maggots cheered while the Rats sighed. “To the Maggots, the spoils. McLean brand soap, shampoo, and conditioner guaranteed to wash off the stink.” he said.

“At least it’ll be useful after all this mud and maggot puke.” Zoey said.

“Stink.” Brick chuckled.

“Rats, see you at the elimination ceremony.” Chris said.

“Aw…” Scott, Dawn, Lightning, and Sam sighed.

“I can't believe this! Lightning is on a team of losers!” Lightning angrily said as he stormed off.

“Come on, winning isn't everything.” Sam said.

“Yahhh!” Lightning yelled as he chased after Sam while he ran away screaming.

Confessional: Lightning

“Pfft, what does that lazy gamer know! Pops always told me that winning is everything and he can’t be wrong! Pops, if you’re watching this, I’m gonna win this for you! Sha-bam!” Lightning cheered.

“Oh. And as for Dakota's annoying entourage? Chef?” Chris asked.

“My pleasure.” Chef said as he launched a rock with a slingshot, hitting the balloon with it and sending it flying away.

“Um, rude!” Dakota angrily said.

Cut to Scott, Sam, Dawn and Lightning in front of the cabins. “All right, guys. Dakota's gotta go. She's only in it for the photo op.” Scott said.

“Aw, c'mon guys. I mean, sure, she's easily distracted, but she's also a tenth level hottie. Uh, not that that's important or anything. Let's give her a chance.” Sam said.

“Like I’ll do what you say after the sha-outrageous stuff you said today.” Lightning said.

“A great darkness is surrounding Dakota. If she stays on the island, disaster will befall her.” Dawn said.

“Sha-please. I think you should all get the boot after today's performance.” Lightning said.

Cut to the elimination ceremony. “Ready? Everyone gets a marshmallow, even the loser. But that is one marshmallow you do not wanna eat.” Chris began the ceremony.

“Mega Jock! The first thing you did in the challenge was getting hit by a boot!” Chef called out Lightning who scoffed.

“Dirt Lover! You wasted time with the rat!” Chef called out Scott who rolled his eyes.

“Gamer Boy! You fell off the bouncing platform and wasted time trying to get the rat back!” Chef called out Sam who looked upset.

“To the votes! The following people are safe.” Chris said as began tossing the marshmallows.

“Lightning.” he said as he tossed him a marshmallow.

“Dawn.” he said as he tossed her a marshmallow.

“Bev.” he said as he tossed him a marshmallow.

“and Sam. Which leaves Dakota and Scott.” he said as he tossed Sam a marshmallow.

“What?” Dakota said in shock as Scott looked confident.

“And the Marshmallow of Loserdom goes to…

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Dakota!” he said as Chef threw her a toxic marshmallow which she didn’t catch. “No! This has to be a mistake! I didn't get my spin-off series yet! No!” she yelled as Chef dragged her away.

Confessional: Sam

“Man, I can't believe Dakota's gone. I was ready to repeatedly ask her out and get turned down all season.” Sam sighed.

Cut to Dakota in a catapult. “Any last words before you ride the Hurl of Shame, Dakota?” Chris asked.

“Um, yeah. First of all--” Dakota tried to say but was catapulted before she could and screamed.

“It was a rhetorical question. Two hurls down, eleven to go! Who will be eliminated next? Tune in and find out on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” Chris said as the episode ended.

VOTES

Confessional: Lightning

“All of this team is worthless, but that girl didn’t even try!” Lightning said as she showed a picture of Dakota that had an angry face drawn on it.

Confessional: Scott

“I’d try to convince my team to boot someone useful, but I’ll lay low for now. Dakota’s way too annoying and useless anyway.” Scott said as he drew dirt on a picture of Dakota.

Confessional: B

B held up a crossed out picture of Scott and gave thumbs down.

Confessional: Dawn

“Sorry Dakota, I sense that if you are voted out, something will happen that is going to teach you an important lesson.” Dawn said as she crossed out a picture of Dakota.

Confessional: Dakota

“That Scott guy smells really bad.” Dakota said as she showed a picture of Scott with stink lines drawn on it.

Confessional: Sam

“Uh, Dakota’s probably the right choice but I don’t wanna vote her. I guess I vote myself?” Sam shrugged and crossed out a picture of himself.

BONUS CLIP

Dakota’s Audition Tape

Dakota was posing in her room. “Hi, my name is Dakota! Future reality show mega star fashion model! And eventually, award-winning movie actress. Ooh. And maybe pop music star, too. If I have the time. I mean, just look at me. Don’t I radiate star energy? You might wanna preserve this recording for prosperity. People are gonna look back on this audition and see where my path to stardom began! That's right. When I'm done on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island, I'm gonna be the biggest thing ever!” Dakota explained.

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island…” Chris began the recap. “we learned that although our campers are here to win, they're all losers in one way or another. Really, really big losers. It was a psychological butt-kicking that quickly turned literal, then comical, the hysterical! But in the end, Dakota got the biggest boot of all. Bye-bye! I love my job. Stay tuned as more things blow up, more contestants throw up, and some even try to hook up. Right here on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” he ended the recap.

(Theme song)

Cut to a mouse with a giant brain walking outside a bush when an eagle tried to grab it, only to be hit by a laser and slammed into the ground.

Cut to everyone having breakfast at the mess hall. Sam ate his gruel and then immediately spat it out. “Now I know why gruel rhymes with cruel. Oh, sorry, man.” Sam said as he saw that it hit Scott’s face who threw his plate at him.

Confessional: Scott

“Wimp. I grew up on a dirt farm, I can always chomp on a clod if I get the munchies.” Scott said as he whittled a stick with his shark tooth and then bit a clod, breaking his teeth.

Cut to Anne Maria spraying hair spray while Cameron choked on it. “Sorry, short stuff. On the upside, now your lungs are waterproof.” Anne Maria said.

“Wow, thanks.” Cameron gagged. Meanwhile, Jo and Brick were in a speed eating contest when Brick choked on his spoon.

“Easy, jarhead. Don't wet your panties!”  Jo said as she punched Brick, making him spit out the spoon.

“Phew, thanks!” Brick sighed in relief.

“I like waffles too. Ow!” Mike told Zoey when he got hit by the spoon and inhaled.

“Darn kids! Back in my day, we ate with our hands like decent folk!” Chester angrily said.

“You're hilarious. Unless you're not joking. But you are, right?” Zoey asked.

“Are you calling me a joke?” Chester angrily said.

Confessional: Mike

“Okay, okay. I admit it, I... I have Dissociative Identity Disorder. I try to control them, but they never listen to me. I just hope I don’t mess things up with Zoey due to this.” Mike admitted.

“Lose the old man impression. It offends my sense of victory. But your Russian gymnast Svetlana, how do you summon such strength and precision?” Jo asked as Mike inhaled.

“Indeed. Those moves you pulled in the challenge were not easy, soldier.” Brick said.

“I, uh, rehearse a lot in front of my mirror. Da!” Mike chuckled nervously.

“If you say so…” Zoey said.

Meanwhile, Lightning was looking at his food. “There's gotta be some protein in here somewhere.” Lightning said as he ate his food and began choking.

“Don't worry. I'll save you!” Dawn said as she did the heimlich maneuver on Lightning, making him spit out a cockroach.

“Whoo! That was a close one! Phew! Thanks, creepy girl.” Lightning said.

“Hm? For what? You're safe now, little one.” Dawn told the cockroach as Lightning looked confused.

Confessional: Lightning

“I don’t think creepy girl is accurate to describe that cockroach lover anymore. Maybe, super omega creepy girl?” Lightning thought.

“Look! A cute little Apodemus sylvaticus!” Cameron said as the mouse from earlier came.

Cut to everyone screaming as they ran outside the mess hall while the mouse wrecked havoc inside it. “What the hell is that!?” Mike said.

“Attention, players! Please head directly to the looming tragedy that is Mt. Looming Tragedy! Your race begins... now!” Chris said from the loudspeaker.

“Maggots, ho!” Jo said as they ran.

“Ah, I’m not very good at running.” Sam chuckled as he ran.

“That’s pretty obvious, gamer boy.” Scott said.

Confessional: Scott

“Man, I know my strategy is to lose so I can eliminate the bigger threats, but almost all of my team is completely useless!” Scott complained.

Cut to Jo arriving in front of a mountain. “First! Hah! I’m the best!” Jo cheered as Lightning and Brick arrived.

“No way man, the Lightning is always on top!” Lightning cheered as Jo looked upset.

“Man?” Brick said in confusion as everyone else arrived.

“Did we win?” Sam panted.

“I don’t think I have enough-” Cameron said as he puked in a bush.

“Weak!” Lightning said.

“If we were hamsters, I would've eaten you by now.” Jo said when Chris came blowing a whistle.

“Okay, mutant food. On with the challenge. Part one is an uphill battle. You have to climb all the way up to that cliff. First team to reach the top gets advantage in part two. You can climb with your hands or use whatever you find in the pile. Don't worry. This junkyard doesn't have a dog. It has a giant mutant beetle!” Chris explained as everyone gasped while they saw the giant cockroach. “Big guy's a bit of a hoarder. His estate is full of useful crud and disgusting crud. That is, if you can get near it. It is on!” he said as Chef blew a horn.

“Let's hustle, maggots! Double time!” Jo said as she climbed.

“Shirt so heavy. Socks weighing me down.” Cameron grunted as he struggled to climb the first rock.

“You can do it, Cam! Focus!” Zoey said while holding onto a branch that broke before being saved by Mike. “Oh, thanks.” she said.

“Anytime.” Mike replied.

“Move it, Maggots! Parents made me a climbing wall playpen.” Jo said as she climbed and saw Brick.

“Impressive! I conquered the rock at a sergeant junior boot camp. Dislocated my hip getting my obstacle course badge. Check this out.” Brick said as he tried to dislocate his hip but ended up dislocating his arm.

“Nice. And when did you learn to dislocate your arm?” Jo asked.

“Just now.” Brick whimpered.

Meanwhile, Lightning and Scott were climbing on the other side. “Sha-zoom! Sha-booey! Sha–” Lightning said as he climbed.

“Sha-ut your mouth for once!” Scott angrily said as they saw Jo and Brick.

“Get ready to lose to a girl again!” Jo mocked.

“What girl? Who's he talking about?” Lightning asked Scott.

“You can’t be serious.” Scott facepalmed.

Meanwhile, Anne Maria was just applying make-up at the bottom. “And would the lady be participating?” Chris asked.

“Oh, pfft! Have you seen my nails? These are why I drive with my feet!” Anne Maria said.

“This mountain looks too dangerous!” Dawn said while B looked in thought.

“And I'm officially done. Goodnight, everybody.” Sam said as he slid down.

“Sam, wait! I sense B has a plan.” Dawn said as B looked at the junkpile.

“Eh, cool. I hope it involves not climbing.” Sam said.

Meanwhile, Lightning kicked down some rocks as he climbed. “Sha-whoops.” Lightning chuckled as the rocks hit Zoey, who fell on Mike, who fell on Cameron as they all fell into the ground.

“Ah!” Mike grunted while Cameron was on a rock next to Anne Maria.

“Don't touch the hair!” Anne Maria smacked Cameron’s hand away. Meanwhile, B was using a lid as a shield from the fire the cockroach was breathing.

“Aw, come on! Fire too? Seriously?” Sam complained.

“We must distract this tortured soul!” Dawn said as she found a flute in the pile.

“Toss it over! I've got Funkman 3 at home, and high score!” Sam chuckled as Dawn threw it at him and he played it badly, making the cockroach chase him instead.

“I guess that works too.” Dawn said as B searched in the pile.

“Ah! The console makes better music!” Sam yelled as he ran away from it.

Confessional: Sam

“Okay, so maybe controllers and flutes aren’t the same thing.” Sam said.

“Hey, the Rats have the right idea. Maybe we could use something from the trash pile.” Zoey told Mike and Cameron.

“I guess I could try to build something like B.” Cameron said as B began making a machine.

“Ah! Ah! Ah! Ahh! Ah!” Sam yelled as he was chased by the cockroach.

Meanwhile, Eva and Chef were on the top of the mountain. “Come on, when do I get to do the fun stuff?” Eva asked.

“Just be patient.” Chef said when his walkie-talkie beeped.

“Classic competitor Eva! You know what to do. Ice 'em.” Chris said from the walkie-talkie.

“Finally!” Eva said as she began throwing down ice cubes.

“Chef! Make way for the Lightning! Sha-bam! Sha-boom!” Lightning cheered when he got hit by the ice cube, causing him to fall on Scott as they fell down the mountain.

“Nice going, mega jock!” Scott angrily said.

Meanwhile, Jo was dodging the ice cubes Eva was throwing. “Gotta get up pretty early, Iron Woman!” Jo mocked as Eva looked upset.

“Oh, just you wait! I’m going to crush you into pieces!” Eva angrily said as she tossed down ice cubes.

“Whatever, I easily beat you in the push-up competition, you’re no match for me!” Jo said.

“And I beat you in the weightlifting one!” Eva said.

“Do you know each other?” Brick asked Jo as he climbed.

“It’s a long story. Something to do with the gym.” Jo said when she saw Anne Maria on the bottom applying hairspray. “Hey! Hey pouf-head! Too bad they don't make spray-on style! You could use some!” she mocked as Anne Maria looked angry and broke her can with her hand.

“What'd you say to me? Oh, it is on!” Anne Maria angrily said as she began climbing. An ice block fell on her head and was shattered.

“How do you even do that?” Eva said as she tossed an ice cube.

“Hey, quit it! I'm coming for you, Pasty!” Anne Maria said as she punched the cube, breaking it.

“Uh, should we be scared?” Brick asked.

“Just climb, Brickhead.” Jo said as they climbed.

Confessional: Jo

“Every team has a weak link. As leader, it's my job to find that link and manipulate it into doing whatever I want. Huh, leadership has its perks.” Jo thought.

Meanwhile, Zoey tossed Mike and Cameron some plungers at the bottom. “C'mon. Let's get climbing!” Zoey said.

“Alright, nice idea Zoey!” Mike said as they climbed with the plungers.

“Feel free to help any time!” Sam said as he ran away from the cockroach.

“Hm... Wait! Look! I-Is this why you're so distraught?” Dawn said as she showed the baby cockroach to the big one. It saw it and picked it up from Dawn’s hands before it walked away. “That was beautiful.” she said.

“Energy at 0%! Need sleep…” Sam sighed as he collapsed.

Confessional: Dawn & Sam

“See, giant cockroaches are nothing to be afraid of!” Dawn said.

“Easy for you to say, you weren’t the one running for your life!” Sam angrily said.

Cut to B showing his team all the stuff he made. “Baking soda? A broken chair leg? I was chased by a giant, fire-breathing beetle so you could collect this?!” Sam angrily said.

“What’s all this sha-for?” Lightning asked.

“Better be something good.” Scott said as B put a couch on the pile as everyone got on it aside from Scott who just leaned on it.

“Are you positive this will work?” Dawn asked as B nodded and connected two wires, causing the couch to be shot in the air.

“Sha-boom, baby!” Lightning cheered as they flew.

Meanwhile, Jo arrived at the top. “Yes! How does it feel to have lost?” Jo mocked Eva.

“Whatever, I still beat you in that thumb wrestling competition.” Eva said.

“No you didn’t!” Jo angrily said when the Rats couch landed.

“You did it, B! We won the challenge!” Dawn told B.

“Yes, B! Yeah!” Lightning cheered when Scott landed next to them.

“Ow!” Scott mumbled in pain.

Confessional: Scott

“Okay, seriously. Beverly the explosives expert mime has to go!” Scott said.

“Slow your roll, Nature's Nurse, I say who wins. The Rats, thanks to B! See how I do that better?” Chris said as he came with a jetpack while the Rats cheered.

“Wait a minute. I got up here first! We won!” Jo said.

“Wait, we won? Yeah! Woo-hoo!” Brick cheered as he arrived.

“First team to the top wins. That means the whole team. You're still missing some members.” Chris said.

“Pfft. Whatever.” Jo rolled her eyes as Anne Maria arrived.

“Die, Blondie!” Anne Maria yelled as she ran to punch Jo, however she dodged, causing Brick to get hit instead.

“Ow, ow! Hey, it's fixed. Thanks a–” Brick said as he walked backwards, saw his arm was fixed and then fell down the mountain screaming. “My other arm!” he mumbled.

“Who else is heading for a fall? Literally. Find out after the break.” Chris said.

“I also bit my tongue!” Brick said.

Cut to everyone shivering on a mountain covered in snow while Chris and Chef wore jackets. “Greetings, ice teens! Cold enough for you? [chuckles] I'll take that as a yes. Time for part two of today's challenge. Capture the snow fort. To win, you have to either demo the enemy's fort or capture their flag and bring it back to your own fort. Rats won the first part, so they get first dibs on the forts.” Chris explained.

“Sh-Sh-Sha-beasy. C-C-C-Castle!” Lightning said.

“Nuh-uh. G-G-Gotta be a trick. You know Chris. Nice on the outside means nasty on the inside. W-We'll take the shack!” Scott said.

“I hope it has a fireplace.” Sam said as they went in.

Cut to the Rats in the bad fort. “Great. The crappiness is thorough. Ugh!” Sam said as everyone looked upset by Scott.

“Man, we should have never listened to your dumb ideas!” Lightning said.

Confessional: Scott

“All part of the plan, heh heh. Is it hot in here?” Scott said nervously.

Cut to the Maggots celebrating in their good fort. “Yeah!” Mike cheered.

“Ha ha! What a bunch of suckers! Maggots rule!” Anne Maria said.

“Yes! This battle is so ours!” Brick said.

“Yeah!” Mike said as he high fived Brick’s dislocated arm.

“Ah!” Brick yelped in pain.

“Listen up, players. Here's how it works. Use the shovel in each fort to fire your collection of mystery snowballs, which you can fire at each other's forts.” Chris said with a megaphone.

“Awesome! I took out my uncle's left eye with a meatball this way!” Scott said as he looked at the snowballs.

“Why are they called mystery balls?!” Zoey asked.

“Because they all inflict major damage, thanks to the secret weapon hiding inside each ball! But some will damage you, so choose wisely! Each team has to elect a captain to command and conquer.” Chris said.

“As team captain, I say we–” Brick and Jo said at the same time before glaring at each other.

“Thumb wrestle. Stat.” Jo said as they thumb wrestled. Jo ended up beating Brick.

“Ah! Never met a girl stronger than me, captain. Not even my mom.” Brick saluted.

Confessional: Jo

“Huh. Seems Brick's a gentleman. He hardly tried. And chivalry is a weakness I can take advantage of.” Jo thought.

“Brick, Lazy, Zoey, you're on offense. Your mission? Capture the enemy's flag. The rest of us will defend the fort and fire the snowballs.” Jo said.

“Yes, ma’am! Let’s go soldiers!” Brick said as he left.

“Be careful. That team is pretty strong.” Mike told Zoey before he could follow him.

“And you, uh... don't let Svetlana pull a hamstring, ha. I'm gonna go over there.” Zoey chuckled as she followed Brick.

Confessional: Zoey

“The guys back home are gorgeous. But they're all hockey thugs and juvie rejects with a collection IQ of ten. Mike is hot and smart. I was really starting to think hot, smart guys were imaginary. Like unicorns and perfect hair.” Zoey thought.

Cut to the Rats fort. “I'm captain. Live with it. B, Dawn, and I stay here. Lightning and Sam, capture their maggot-y flag.” Scott said.

“Uh, maybe someone with a little more leg-foot coordination should–” Sam tried to say but was interrupted.

“And... go!” Chris said with a megaphone.

“Let's book it!” Lightning said as he ran out.

“Great, more running.” Sam sighed as he followed.

Cut to Chris outside with Chef. “Hurry up, my ice is melting! And your forts will too if the sun gets much higher!” Chris said.

Meanwhile, Sam was running when he tripped and began sliding on the ice. “Oof! Looks like the thunder is gonna arrive before the Lightning. I'm Thunder! Whoa!” Sam said as he slid past Lightning and fell in a crack in the ice, freezing.

“Forgot to tell you, No Man's Land is more like No Man's Water.” Chef laughed.

Meanwhile, Scott and Dawn were arguing about a snowball in the fort. “No, I'm gonna listen to the snowball, I'm gonna chuck it!” Scott said.

“But it's full of negative energy!” Dawn said.

“So am I. Aw!” Scott said as he held the snowball when it blew up on his face.

“You weren't held enough as a child.” Dawn said.

“Maybe I wasn’t…” Scott thought as he scratched his head.

Confessional: Scott

“Okay, she's gotta go too.” Scott said.

“Just pick one already!” Scott told Dawn.

“This one!” Dawn said as she chose one and then Scott shot it onto the Maggots fort with a shovel, knocking a pillar down.

“Hm. Lucky guess.” Scott said as they looked out the window.

Meanwhile, Jo saw the pillar breaking in the Maggot fort and looked upset. “C'mon, people, we have to attack!” Jo said.

“Can't! Guarding flag!” Cameron said.

“What about you, old man and olympian wannabe?” Jo asked.

“At least my job is to stay here, unlike her!” Mike said as he pointed at Anne Maria who was still there applying hairspray.

“Hey, sprayhead. Didn't I tell you to go capture their flag?” Jo asked.

“I ain't risking fly-aways. No!” Anne Maria said when Jo took her hair spray and tossed it outside. “Oh, this ain't over! Lousy Jo makin' me run out here!” she mumbled as she ran outside.

“Ha ha ha, too easy.” Jo chuckled.

Meanwhile, Brick and Zoey were running outside. “Incoming, twelve o'clock!” Brick said as they ducked under some snowballs.

“What are we gonna do? We need a way to stop them from throwing snowballs.” Zoey told Brick.

“Don’t worry soldier, I am currently thinking of a great plan that I’m sure will be great!” Brick replied.

“Hey guys, wait up!” Anne Maria said as she came walking, the snowballs shattering as they hit her hair.

“Oh no, we shouldn't.” Zoey said.

“I'm afraid we have no choice!” Brick said as he ran toward Anne Maria.

“Hey, quit pushin'!” Anne Maria said as Brick pushed her, the snowballs shattering as they hit her hair.

Meanwhile, Lightning pulled Sam, who was frozen in an ice cube, out of the water. “Don't worry, buddy. Lightning will get you out. After we win.” Lightning said as he got hit by a snowball and fell unconscious.

Meanwhile, the giant beetle came to the Rats form. “Whoa. Remember her? She organized your family reunion.” Scott said as Dawn waved at it, making it remember her. “Don't hurt us, hurt them!” he said as the beetle ran to the Maggot fort.

“I didn't know you were a beetle whisperer!” Dawn told Scott as they looked out the window.

“Heh.” Scott scoffed and walked away. Meanwhile, B found a giant ice block and placed it on the Rat fort to deflect the sun’s energy onto the Maggot fort.

“Uh-oh. We're melting!” Cameron said.

“Mike, do your Svetlana thing and get on the catapult!” Jo said.

“I-I-, oh, I can't! My personaliti-- I mean, impressions, are hard to, um…” Mike replied.

“And first up on the vault, five time Russian champ…” Cameron said as he held on the flag, making Mike inhale.

“It's Svetlana! Ah!” Svetlana grunted as she launched herself with the shovel.

Confessional: Cameron

“I think I found out why Mike acts the way he does. I theorize that he has DID. So far, I’ve documented two personalities and their triggers, but I don’t know if there are any more or how I can turn them back to Mike at any time. This research is just starting.” Cameron said.

“Get the flag, Svetlana!” Jo yelled as Svetlana flew.

Meanwhile, Anne Maria was being pushed by Brick and Zoey. “You doing okay?” Brick asked.

“I’ll do better when I get my tan! Just... a few... more... feet! Ah! Mwah! Ah!” Anne Maria said as they reached her can and she got hit with a snowball as she picked it up.

“Make vay for Svetlana! Oh!” Svetlana yelled as she crashed into the Rats fort, ripping his shirt off.

“Oh! One side, losers!” Vito said as he slicked his hair back.

“Back off from the flag, bozo! Ow!” Scott grunted as he was shoved by Vito who got the flag.

“Ay yo, you lookin' for dis?” Vito asked as Anne Maria, Brick and Zoey came.

“Oh my.” Anne Maria gasped.

Confessional: Anne Maria

“Is it just me or did that scrawny kid get 10 times hotter?” Anne Maria swooned.

“That's ours, hand it over!” Scott said.

“Mike, let's get it back to our fort!” Zoey told Vito who smacked her hand away.

“Ay yo, Pasty, you wanna touch the Vito, you gotta make an appointment.” Vito said.

“What does that even mean!?” Zoey said in shock.

“Now that's what I'm talkin' bout.” Anne Maia said.

“C'mon, Mike, the play's over. You win Best Actor. Now gimme the flag.” Brick told Vito.

“Oh yeah? Over my tanned body.” Vito said as he flexed his abs and winked at Anne Maria who fainted.

“Huh? Mike, did you forget that Brick’s on our team?” Zoey said.

“Yeah soldier, this act isn’t funny anymore!” Brick said.

“Ah, no one cares. Let's rumble!” Vito said as he, Brick and Scott fought. B looked in the fort to see this and facepalmed as Scott was thrown out a window.

“What the?” Scott said as he saw the Maggots fort melting from the laser.

“Crap, crap, crap! I am not losing this challenge!” Jo said as she shoveled snow onto the fort.

“I want my bubble! I want my bubble!” Cameron yelled as he was crushed by the cockroach family.

“Crud. If we win, Bev’s gonna make sure we never lose again!” Scott said. “Hm, try and talk your way out of this one, smart guy.” he said as he tossed a snowball at the mirror, causing it to tilt and send the light onto the ice block Sam was stuck in, freeing him while making it bounce off it onto the fort and fully melt it as B gasped.

“Oh no! Our fort!” Dawn yelled.

“It was caused by the magnifying lens! Nice going Beverly, you cost us the challenge!” Scott angrily said as B gasped.

“Maggots win! And here's your reward. McLean brand hot chocolate. Scald your senses with chocolatey goodness.” Chris said.

“Yeah!” Vito, Brick, Zoey, and Anne Maria.

“Huh? What? Hey, let's go! We gotta win this!” Lightning said as we woke up and ran, only to fall in the pool and be frozen.

“Sha-bam!” Sam laughed.

Confessional: Jo

“I achieved two things today. Won the challenge and Brick will be my peon until I render him useless.” Jo said.

Confessional: Scott

“Trying to get Bev out so early is a pretty big risk, but I can’t let him go any further! He’s way too good!” Scott said.

Confessional: Mike

“Okay, did Vito show up earlier? Aww. Chester and Svetlana are hard enough to keep in line. But Vito? Things just went from tough to suck-tacular.” Mike sighed.

Cut to Dawn, Scott, Lightning and Sam in front of the cabins. Sam and Lightning were covered in blankets. “I told you, B stands for "bad man" and Beverly is a bad man who cost us the game!” Scott said.

“I dunno, he’s been useful so far. Kind of suspicious that his invention didn’t work this time when it did before.” Sam said.

“It could be some sort of sabotage. He’s might to get us voted out because he thinks we’re all losers that drag the team down and thinks that he might do better just by himself.” Scott said.

“Trying to sabotage Lightning’s team and thinking he is weak? Not cool!” Lightning said.

“Whoa… I never took him for that guy, but fact wise, it would seem he's that guy.” Sam said.

“How can you trust someone who's so secretive, that he doesn't even talk. He hates nature, you know. Why do you think he likes machines so much?” Scott told Dawn who gasped. “I've seen B scoffing and rolling his eyes every time you talk. Bet he’d call you fizzle if he could talk.” he told Lightning who looked shocked. “Just thought you all should know.” he said.

Confessional: Sam

“It’s still kind of weird to me that B would sabotage us, but I guess Scott’s logic makes sense. I think? I don’t play many logic games.” Sam said.

Confessional: Dawn

“Well, all of the stuff B builds could be harmful to the environment here…” Dawn thought.

Confessional: Lightning

“B might've messed with the challenge, but Sam messed with the Lightning. Time for Thunder to say sha-bye-bye. Hey, can somebody write that down?” Lightning said.

Cut to the elimination. “After another jam-packed day of losing, it all comes down to this.” Chris began the elimination.

“Mega Jock and Mega Gamer! You two were tasked with stealing the flag but ended up just getting yourselves frozen!” Chef called out Lightning and Sam as they looked upset.

“Dirt Boy! You were completely useless in defending the fort, and made some serious accusations! You may have put a big target on your back.” Chef called out Scott who rolled his eyes.

“Finally, Silent B! It was your invention that made your team lose! Is it your silent butt going home today?” Chef called out B who glared at Scott.

“The following Rats are safe.” Chris said as he began tossing the marshmallows.

“Dawn.” he said as he tossed her a marshmallow.

“Lightning.” he said as he tossed him a marshmallow.

“and Scott. Which leaves, Bev and Sam.” he said as he tossed Scott a marshmallow. B looked upset while Sam looked happy.

“At least I'm not going home first! Oh! Ah.” Sam said when Dakota came with a hang glider wearing a helmet. and crashed into him.

“I hate it when losers get all... clingy.” Chris said.

“Hey, Sam! Did you miss me?” Dakota asked as she took off her helmet.

“Oh, hi Dakota. Of course I did, heh. Why wouldn’t I miss a cute girl?” Sam chuckled as he blushed.

“Aw, you’re sweeter than I thought you’d be.” Dakota said.

Confessional: Sam

“Uh… do I look mean? Or are gamers seen as rude nowadays? Just when I thought we were finally getting respected by society too…” Sam said.

“Dakota, you're no longer competing. Remember?” Chris said.

“I don't care about the money. Like I need it. I just want, um, close-up please. Thank you. I just want camera time. People need to see more of my sparkly adorableness if I'm gonna get my spin-off reality series.” Dakota said as she posed to the camera.

“You know how you flew off into the sky last episode? That means you're done. Forever.” Chris said as Chef grabbed her with a tool.

“No, please! I'll do anything!” Dakota said.

“Listen, princess. This is my show!” Chris said as he got a phone call. “Huh? It's your daddy. Hello, Mr. Milton. How much money?! You're back.” he said as he talked to the phone.

“Yes! Thanks, daddy!” Dakota said.

“As an intern!” Chris said.

“An intern? No!” Dakota yelled as she was dragged away by Chef.

“And... the toxic marshmallow goes to....

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

B! Time for the Hurl of Shame, buddy.” he said as he tossed B a toxic marshmallow with gloves which landed on the ground. Scott smirked at him as he growled.

Cut to B in the catapult next to Chris and his teammates.

“Any final words, Beverly? Any words at all?” Chris asked as B looked like he was about to say something as everyone asked when Chris stopped him. “Time's up!” he said as he catapulted B away as he screamed. “Come back for more mutants, mayhem, and manipulation next time on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” he said as the episode ended.

VOTES

Confessional: Lightning

“This’ll teach that lousy gamer not to mess with the Lightning!” Lightning said as she showed a picture of Sam that had lightning drawn on it.

Confessional: Scott

“Goodbye, Bev. Next time, learn how to speak.” Scott said as he drew a laughing face on a picture of B.

Confessional: B

B angrily scribbled on a picture of Scott.

Confessional: Dawn

“I sense that B has good intentions but he has to go for the good of the animals here. Scott’s aura is kind of weird though, I’ll need to keep a closer eye on him.” Dawn said as she showed a crossed out picture of B.

Confessional: Sam

“Sorry B, you did make us lose…” Sam said as he drew a pixelated cross on a picture of B.

BONUS CLIP

B’s Audition Tape

B was recording himself in a fancy room. He arrived with a moving chair and pressed a button, making some machines brush his teeth, wipe his shoes, put on his hat, measure him and make him drink water. He grinned at the camera when a tiny robot that looked like him came and left while he waved goodbye as a crane carrying a clipboard passed by. He winked at the camera and looked like he was going to say something when the battery died.

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island…” Chris began the recap. “eleven bumbling buffoons battled it out in a brutal buffet of bombastica! Why all the B words? Because, B proved he was a brave and brilliant improviser who scored big time for his team! Until his bitter teammate Scott botched it on purpose and B got the boot. And now, tonight's challenge is about fear! And everyone knows fear is a dish best served... in the dark! Mwahahahahahaha! Huh? Chef!” he said as he saw Chef in a flamingo costume.

“Wardrobe was all out of vampire costumes!” Chef said.

“It's all scary! Other than that. Right here, right now on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island! A-ha-ha!” Chris ended the recap.

(Theme song)

Cut to everyone sleeping in the night. Dawn was the only one awake when she saw a butterfly. “What's that, little one? Evil is lurking? Let me guess, Chris?” Dawn asked when an air horn played.

“Run! Run for your lives!” Chris yelled.

“What? Ah!” Mike yelled as he ran out.

“Gang way!” Anne Maria yelled as she ran out.

“I’m coming sir!” Brick yelled as he ran out.

“Move it or lose it!” Jo yelled as she ran out.

“Help!” Cameron yelled as he ran out.

“What's happening?!” Zoey yelled as she ran out.

“Me first!” Scott yelled as he ran out.

“New level already?” Sam yelled as he ran out.

“Make way for Sha-Lightning!” Lightning yelled as he ran out.

“Ah!” Dawn yelled as she ran out.

“Thanks, intern!” Chris told Dakota in an intern uniform who was using the airhorn.

“Huh?!” Dakota asked as she stopped.

Confessional: Dakota

“So after Chris agreed to let me stay, he put a restraining order on the paparazzi! So now I'm stuck here for no reason! And now he's making me, like, work! So not cool!” Dakota complained.

“Hi, Dakota! You look really nice in that outfit.” Sam chuckled.

“Huh?! Speak up!” Dakota said when Chris shoved a board on her.

“Challenge time!” Chris said.

“What? Now? In the middle of the night? When it's all... you know, dark?” Brick asked.

“Hah, what’s wrong, General Brickhead? Gonna pee your pants again?” Jo mocked.

“Hey, I stopped doing that after I finished middle school! Okay, it just became less frequent.” Brick said as Jo rolled her eyes.

Confessional: Brick

“Ever since I was born, I hated the dark. With the creaks, a-and the "Who's that?", a-and the "Get away!".” Brick said and then screamed as the confessional went dark when a wetting noise was heard.

“Your challenge: A scavenger hunt for three creepy souvenirs. Your locations? A haunted forest, a scary pet cemetery, and an extra spook-tastic cave. First team to each location gets a special clue. But watch out for booby traps. I really went to town with them! So move fast, and stick together! You'll be penalized for each player you lose!” Chris explained.

“Um, what does the spider represent?” Cameron asked.

“Oh, yeah. There's some kind of giant mutated spider sort of running around loose on the island.” Chris asked as everyone but Dawn complained.

“Wow, I can’t wait to see such an amazing creature!” Dawn said.

“Uh… sha-what!?” Lightning said in confusion.

“What's on the loose?!” Dakota asked.

“A gigantic mutated spider!” Sam yelled in her ear.

“Where? Where?!” Cameron said in shock.

Confessional: Cameron

“I have a severe case of arachnophobia. Spiders are just so creepy. Literally. Anything with that many legs must be evil!” Cameron shuddered when a tiny spider landed on him. “Ah!” he screamed.

“There's nothing to fear but mortal terror itself! Talk soon!” Chris said as Dakota blared the airhorn as everyone ran away. “Get to work, lackey.” he told Dakota.

“What?!” Dakota asked.

Cut to the rats arriving in front of a tree. “Whoo! First! That's right!” Lightning cheered.

“Welcome to the Haunted Forest! Your clue can be found at the base of this tree! In a bear trap!” Chris said from a loudspeaker.

“Hah, no bear trap can stop the Lightning! Ah!” Lightning said as he grabbed the clue and had his arm stuck in the bear trap at the same time.

“Might wanna rethink that, heh.” Sam chuckled.

“Hey, I still got the clue! Here, creepy girl. Read it!” Lightning said as he gave the clue to Dawn.

“Let’s see…” Dawn said as she looked at it when the Maggots arrived.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” Jo mocked.

“Hey, find your own piece of paper!” Lightning angrily said.

“Uh, yeah, what he said! Or I’ll have to unleash the Thunder of Pahechu!” Sam said.

“C'mon. Let the runts have their clue. I've got a plan.” Jo whispered to her team as they walked away.

“So what's your big plan?” Mike asked.

“Find a place to hide so we can follow the Rats and their clue to our first souvenir. Into that bush!” Jo said as everyone hopped into a thorny bush.

“Uh, I think we should-” Cameron tried to say but was interrupted.

“Shh! They're coming!” Jo said as they saw the rats approaching.

“Inside a knot is a nest, your souvenir lives with a pest. Find Polaris to travel northwest. Polaris is the North Star!” Dawn read.

“The North Star is right there, so this way's northwest! There's a path!” Scott said.

“The only star I see here is me!” Lightning boasted.

“Just shut up, musclehead. Let’s go!” Scott said.

“Man, can’t we just get a challenge that’s not about running?” Sam sighed as they ran through the path.

“They're getting away! C'mon!” Jo said as they struggled to get out of the bush.

“Uh... who's there?” Brick asked as he heard an owl hoot and then saw two pairs of eyes looking at him, making him run away screaming while carrying the bush.

Cut to the rats running. “"Inside the knot is a nest." Hey, Dawn? What was the middle part? Dawn? Dawn?! Dawn?!” Sam asked as he noticed Dawn was missing.

“Hey, where did the creepy girl go?” Lightning asked.

“What, did we lose the weirdo?” Scott said as they stopped.

“We get a penalty or each lost player, right?” Sam gulped.

“And there's some kind of whacked out spider crawling around, right?” Lightning said.

“We're looking for a knot with a nest, right?” Scott said when Lightning saw a tree with green and red marks that had a hole in it.

“There it is! Sha-score!” Lightning said as he climbed it.

“Wait! What about Dawn?” Sam asked as Lightning climbed the tree and looked in the hole, only for an eye to pop out it alongside some tentacles from the back of the tree that grabbed and strangled Lightning.

“Ah! Ah, ah! Ah, ah, my eye! Sha-help!” Lightning yelled as the tentacles poked him in the eye.

“Dude! I've seen this in Sea Creatures V! Do fight a squid, you have to duck, duck, jump, punch!” Sam told Scott.

“Or we could throw rocks!” Scott said as he grabbed a rock.

“Oh, okay.” Sam said as they tossed rocks at the tentacles.

“Ow, ouch! Ah!” Lightning mumbled as the tree dropped him and hissed at Scott and Sam.

“Duck! Duck! Jump! Punch!” Sam said as he dodged the tentacles alongside Scott who got hit in the end. “No, you're not doing it right! It's-- uh-oh! Ah!” Sam yelled as the tentacles grabbed him and began punching him in the kiwis.

“No calamari does that to the Lightning! Sha-bam!” Lightning said as he got up, climbed the tree and punched it in the eye, making it drop Sam and retract its tentacles and eye as Lightning found the key in its eye. “Aw, yeah! The key!” he said when he was grabbed away by a web, making him drop it.

“Jackpot!” Scott said as he grabbed the key Lightning dropped.

“What happened? Lightning? Lightning?! Lightning!” Sam yelled.

“Guess he's gone. So's the squid and we got the key. Ha ha!” Scott chuckled.

“But we've lost two players.” Sam said as they were watched by a creature with infrared vision.

“Yeah, two players that stink at this game. Come on, let's go!” Scott replied.

“Uh, well, no, but–” Sam replied.

“As a gamer, I thought you'd understand.” Scott said when the Maggots arrived.

“Gee, uh, maybe we should search for the object way over there with the rest of our teammates. 'Cause it's not just the two of us!” Sam chuckled nervously.

“Great ideas my totally useful teammate! Come on, let’s go.” Scott said as they left.

“It’s obvious they found something. Any of you losers see anything useful?” Jo asked.

“Look! Team colors!” Cameron said as he saw the tree.

“Could be a trap. We should send in our most expendable player.” Jo said.

“No one's expendable.” Brick said.

“Do you wanna play nice or do you wanna win?” Jo said as she threw Cameron in the hole.

“A key! This must be the first souvenir! Ah! Giant arachnid! Ah!” Cameron said as he found a key and fell out of the hole.

“Sweet! Nice work, Cam!” Mike said.

“Ugh… thanks…” Cameron mumbled.

Confessional: Zoey

“Mike is so sweet! The way he's always encouraging Cameron is so totally cool. But the way he's always going into character is kind of weird though. But hey, nobody's perfect, right?” Zoey said.

“Hey Zoey, you think this key's gonna open up something later on in the challenge?” Mike asked as he took the key while Zoey was taken away by a web without him noticing.

Confessional: Mike

“Zoey. Oh, she's all I think about. At least when I'm the one in control.” Mike chuckled nervously.

“Zoey? Whoa, where's Zoey? Zoey? Zoey?!” Mike yelled as he saw she was missing and ran trying to find her.

“Oh no! We need to find her before she gets fully lost!” Cameron said.

“And we call off the search and forge ahead.” Jo said.

“That's against the cadet code. Never leave a soldier behind.” Brick said.

“Yeah, we also get penalized if we lose a teammate.” Cameron said.

“Zoey!” Mike yelled in the background as he ran.

“Who cares about whatever dumb penalty McLame had to offer? Besides, we're not leaving her, she left us. That means she's AWOL. Now move it, Bubble Brain and G.I. Joke!” Jo said.

Confessional: Brick

“Jo is like this bug. She's always trying to get under my skin! Ah!” Brick said as he was bitten by a bug on his arm.

Cut to Scott and Sam walking. “Uh, it's not like I don't like this leisurely pace, but shouldn't we be running faster?” Sam asked.

“Relax, I know what I'm doing.” Scott replied.

Confessional: Scott

“I'm heading us back into last place where we belong. Another elimination ceremony for the Rats and it's bye-bye Sam! Or Lightning, maybe Dawn. I can't decide. I'm like a kid in a candy store full of suckers! And I'm gonna like, like, um, break 'em and stuff.” Scott chuckled as he carved a stick with his shark tooth.

“C'mon, let's rock this! With Dakota voted off, I've got killer focus and energy to burn! Check it!” Sam said as he grabbed the key from Scott and jumped on stuff. “Rock! Tree stump! Mysterious clump of dirt! Ah!” he yelled as he was launched into the air from a landmine as he screamed while Scott smirked.

“Thanks for clearing the way!” Jo said as the Maggots ran past.

“That looked like it hurt.” Cameron said as the Maggots ran past.

“Zoey! Zoey!” Mike said as the Maggots ran past.

“Thanks, focus boy.” Scott told Sam and took the key from him as he crashed into the ground.

“I think I can taste my liver.” Sam mumbled.

Confessional: Sam

“Okay, I guess I should’ve learnt from all the platforming games I played where they just hide the obstacles underneath normal looking stuff.” Sam said.

Cut to the Maggots arriving at a graveyard. “Welcome to the Wawanakwa Pet Cemetery!” Chris said from the loudspeaker.

“We're first, String Bean! Go get the clue!” Jo said as she pushed Cameron into the grave.

“Ah! Aren't three 6's supposed to be evil?” Cameron said as he opened the coffin and saw a note.

“Let's fan out and look for numbers!” Jo said.

“Um, you mean by ourselves?” Brick asked.

“Did you not hear what I just said, General Sourpuss?” Jo said as she walked away while Brick gulped and nervously walked backwards.

Cut to Brick walking backwards. “Okay, soldier, you can do this. It’s just the dark.” Brick told himself when he fell in a grave. “Ah! Oof! Ahh! Help! Help! Too dark! Too dark!” he yelled.

“Brick, take my hand!” Jo said as she approached the grave with the others and pulled him out.

“So dark. So dark.” Brick told himself.

“Pull yourself together!” Jo said as she slapped him.

“Whoa dude, what happened to your pants?” Mike asked as he saw that Brick’s pants were wet.

“Uh, it was wet down there and I landed on my crotch! I gotta dry off.” Brick said as he ran away. “C'mon, dry. Dry!” he mumbled as he picked up a leaf and wiped his pants with it while he was being watched by the creature with infrared vision and was grabbed by it and taken away as he screamed, altering the others.

“Brick? He was just here a second ago.” Cameron said as they came.

“Where did he go?” Anne Maria said.

“Oh, don’t tell me he got lost like Zoey!” Mike said.

“Oh, well. Two words: dead weight.” Jo said.

“Hey, Brick might not be attractive in any way, but he is still a person.” Anne Maria said.

“Yeah, your cutthroat attitude stinks!” Mike said.

“It's called a winning attitude. Get used to it or get out of the way.” Jo said as everyone looked upset.

Confessional: Jo

“It’s how this game works. You can’t worry about some weaklings if you want to win.” Jo said.

Confessional: Cameron

“I have a bad feeling that leaving our teammates behind is going to come back to bite us, but I don’t have any idea where to find them. Also, Jo’s just really scary so I’m not sure if I should go against what she says.” Cameron said.

Cut to Scott looking at a grave. “Find the souvenir, hide the souvenir, lose the game, hmm…” Scott thought as he opened the grave to see Fang in it. “Ah!” he yelled as he ran away while Fang burst out and chased him.

“Hey! This grave smells like french fries! Heh, whoa!” Sam grunted while leaning into a grave as Scott ran by him while being chased by Fang, knocking him in. Scott ran past another grave that Fang fell into.

“Take that you stupid shark! Ah!” Scott yelled as Fang tried to bite him from the grave.

Meanwhile, Dakota came and dumped some grease in the grave Sam was in. “Hey!” Sam yelled from inside it.

“Sam?” Dakota asked.

“Dakota! How's it going? Heh.” Sam replied.

“Sorry about the booby trap! Chris made me fill it with kitchen grease.” Dakota said.

“That must be what's attracting these giant maggots. Hey, that tickles! Ah, hey, that doesn't!” Sam yelled as some maggots jumped in the grave.

“Why is like that, so... squirmy? I feel like... apologizing? If this is what it means to feel bad for someone else, I don't like it. I'm out!” Dakota said as she stormed off.

“Wait! A little help? Ah!” Sam yelled in the grave.

Meanwhile, Chris was watching everyone in the monitor room. “Will anyone even make it to the spooky cave? And if so, how can they possibly make it all the way to the finish line? Less brain, more pain when we return!” Chris said.

“Ow! This is agony!” Sam yelled as the screen faded to black.

Cut to Mike on a tree. “Zoey? Zoey?! Tell me where you are! D'ah! Oh!” Mike grunted as the branch he was on broke, ripping his shirt off as he fell on a grave.

“Oh my gosh, Mike! I think I found the clue! Whoa, June 6, 1806. I'm no algebra expert, but ain't that six, six, eighteen, six?” Anne Maria said as she read what was on the grave while Mike inhaled and got up as he slicked his hair back.

“Where's the freakin' sun? How's a guy supposed to get a freakin' tan over here?” Vito asked.

“Ah, Vito!” Anne Maria squealed.

“Well, looks like we got a fan over here.” Vito winked as Anne Maria squealed and collapsed.

Confessional: Anne Maria

“Whenever we're alone, he drops the whole Mike act. It's 'cause he can't get enough of me. And who can blame him? Check me out. The tan, the hair, look at me, I'm hot!” Anne Maria said.

“Six, six, eighteen, six. Anne Maria, you found it!” Cameron said as he and Jo came.

“And check it out, there's a keyhole. Yeah! Who's the sharpest tool on the Christmas tree now?” Anne Maria said.

“Just use the key already!” Jo angrily said.

“Yeesh, okay, keep your sweatpants on!” Anne Maria said as she used the key to open the coffin but was launched back by a trap.

“Cool, flashlights! These'll come in handy!” Cameron said as he looked in it to find some flashlights.

“Let's get moving. Okay, strong man. Make yourself useful and put that coffin back so the Rats won't know where to look.” Jo told Vito as she and Cameron walked away.

“Oh! That oughta do it.” Vito chuckled as he punched the coffin back into place and left. Meanwhile, Sam was watching this from behind a tree.

“Caw! Caw!” Sam made bird noises when Scott came and smacked him.

“What the heck are you doing?!” Scott asked.

“Uh, I was using animal calls to signal you. Team Maggot found the souvenirs on the tombstone over there.” Sam said as he pointed at the grave.

“Wow. Nice work.” Scott said as he walked toward the grave

“But be careful when you use that key, 'cause–” Sam tried to say but was interrupted.

“Zip it, Hemhock. Just sit there and be quiet!” Scott said as Sam shrugged while he used the key and was launched back by the trap as he screamed.

“Tried to warn you, bro.” Sam chuckled.

Cut to Cameron and Jo in front of a cave. “Welcome to your final destination! Mwahahahahaha! The clue is just inside the entrance, and down the tunnel, into total darkness. Good luck! You'll need it!” Chris said from the loudspeaker.

“I’m having second thoughts about this.” Cameron gulped.

“Ugh! Follow my lead, pencil neck!” Jo said as she took a flashlight from him.

“Where are Anne Maria and Mike?” Cameron asked.

“Who cares?” Jo said as she walked in the cave, her voice echoing.

“Mike? Anne Maria?” Cameron ran away.

Cut to Jo in the cave. “It's so hard to find good help nowadays. And here's the clue.” Jo said as she found the clue on a web. “"By hook or by crook, the end is neareth you look." Ugh, who wrote these? William Shake-- ah! Hey, hey, how dare you! Ah! No!” Jo yelled as she was wrapped in web and taken away.

Cut to Cameron running in the woods when he found Vito and Anne Maria kissing. “Guys, guys! C'mon! Me and Jo found where we need to go next! Guys? Ew, c'mon, that's not what Chris meant when he said to stick together.” Cameron said.

Cut to Cameron, Anne Maria and Vito in the cave when Cameron found a flashlight on the ground. “Jo! Hey, Jo? Oh no! Her flashlight! This can't be good! Jo! See? This is why we need to stick together! Would you stop?! We need to focus!” Cameron yelled at Anne Maria and Vito who were still kissing, shocking them all.

Confessional: Cameron

“Whoa. Never actually raised my voice before. Wow. It actually felt kinda good.” Cameron said and then hurled.

“Whoa, how did a shrimp like you yell that good?” Vito asked.

“Yeah, it’s like, totally out of character and stuff.” Anne Maria said.

“That’s not important, we just need to find clues for now.” Cameron said as they walked in the cave.

“See any clues, Vito, baby?” Anne Maria asked.

“Ay, what's a clue?” Vito asked.

“Guys, over there! These hooks must be the last souvenirs! Hm, I wonder what they're for.” Cameron said as he found some hooks on a rock.

“Cameron, look out!” Anne Maria said as she saw a web being shot at Cameron.

“What? Ah! Ahh!” Cameron yelled as he was pulled up and saw a giant spider and screamed as it tossed him onto a web where everyone who got caught was stuck in.

“Who's landed in the web now? Tan job? Couch potato? Freckle face? C'mon, don't leave me hangin'.” Jo asked, her eyes covered with the web.

“It's just me, String Bean.” Cameron said.

“Wow. You lasted longer than I expected.” Jo replied.

Confessional: Cameron

“That's the nicest thing Jo has ever said to me. Hey, I'll take what I can get.” Cameron said.

“Hey! There's the next souvenir! Hey! There's our teammates! Hey! A gigantic spider! Ugh. This is so cool, my head is spinning. I think I'm overstimulated.” Sam said as he and Scott came and saw everything that was happening.

“Sam, not so fast! Ah, ooh!” Scott said as Sam ran ahead and he chased after him, only to be tripped by Anne Maria when the spiders shot web at them, causing them to be tied up.

“Yep, definitely overstimulated.” Sam said.

“Go get the hook, and we'll win!” Anne Maria told Vito.

“Win what?” Vito asked while looking uncaring.

“Fine. Go get the hook and you'll get more of this. Mm…” Anne Maria said as she kissed Vito.

“Huh? Keep your lips off him!” Zoey yelled from the web.

“Yeah! Badda-bing, baby!” Vito cheered as he ran toward the hooks.

“Ha! Sorry, Red. Looks like Vito's only interested in classy girls.” Anne Maria burped.

“But… I thought Mike was interested in me.” Zoey said.

“Uh, Zoey?” Cameron said.

“Yes?” Zoey replied.

“Spider!” Cameron yelled as the spider approached them, making everyone scream.

“Help!” Zoey yelled, making Mike inhale and see her on the web.

“Zoey. Don't move, I'm coming!” Mike said as he ran toward the web.

“No! Get the hook, not the schnook!” Anne Maria said.

“Somebody do something! Help!” Zoey yelled.

“Don’t worry everyone, spiders are friendly creatures!” Dawn said.

“Uh, are you sure!?” Brick said.

“What the hell is going on!?” Jo said, not being able to see.

“This is not how Sha-Lightning goes!” Lightning said. Cameron looked scared and then screamed as he broke the web.

“Yah!” Cameron yelled as he tackled the spider and began punching it.

Confessional: Cameron

“Ah, adrenaline. Nature's super strength formula. Someone should really bottle it.” Cameron said.

Meanwhile, Mike was trying to climb the wall. “No! Aw, man. I'm never gonna make it!” Mike said and then inhaled.

“But Svetlana can save them all in her sleep! Ha ha!” Svetlana cheered as she jumped on the web, landing on Brick and making him fall out.

“Oh, Mike, how did you do that? That was amazing!” Zoey said.

“Yes, I am knowing this. Why do these ropes feel so sticky?” Svetlana asked.

“Hang on, men! I'm coming to get you!” Brick said on the ground.

“No! Get the hook, Dampy Pants!” Jo said.

“I need to rescue my teammates!” Brick replied.

“No, you need to win! Somebody has to!” Jo said.

“But my code. I can't just leave you behind!” Brick replied.

“Cut and run, soldier! That's an order!” Jo said.

“F-Fine. Sir, yes, sir!” Brick said as he ran toward the hooks, grabbed one and ran away Sam tried to get a hook while tied to Scott.

“Sam, stop trying to be a hero, we're hosed.” Scott said.

“No, no, I got this. Ha!” Sam said as he got the hook.

“Stop being such a dick! You can't hurt me anymore!” Cameron yelled as he pummeled the spider.

“Locked and loaded! Hyah!” Brick said as he slid down.

“I mean it, get lost!” Cameron yelled as he continued pummeling the spider, causing the ceiling to collapse.

“Hurry up, hurry up!” Scott told Sam as they slid down while everyone fell off the web.

“Took ya guys look enough. Hey, I was the only one who didn’t get webbed!” Anne Maria realized.

“Good for you I guess.” Jo rolled her eyes.

“What just happened?” Mike asked.

Cut to Brick screaming as he fell at the end of the line, followed by Sam and Scott. “Level complete!” Sam said.

“Why do I smell pee?” Scott sniffed.

“Uh, I don't smell anything.” Brick said.

“Well, well. Both teams made it to the finish line. Some wetter than others.” Chris said as he came.

“Hey, that cave was leaky.” Brick said.

“Whatever. Today's winning team is... the Rats!” Chris said.

“What? No way! I-I arrived first!” Brick said.

“Remember when I said stick together, 'cause there'd be a penalty for each team member you lost? Yeah, you lost five. Sam only lost two. So, the Rats totally win.” Chris said.

“Yes!” Sam cheered.

“Great.” Scott rolled his eyes.

“No! I should've just followed my own code!” Brick broke down crying.

“So true.” Chris said.

Cut to Cameron at the cave, getting up to see Izzy in the spider costume. “Oh! That was fun, shrimp! You really gave me a beat down!” Izzy laughed.

“Uh, yeah. I-I gotta go.” Cameron said as he ran away.

Confessional: Cameron

“Turns out it was just one of the old cast members in a spider costume. Thankfully, it cured me of my arachnophobia. Although, now I'm completely terrified of Izzy.” Cameron said.

Cut to the elimination. “Team Maggot, welcome to your second elimination ceremony.” Chris began the ceremony. “And mm, this tension is so delish, I could kiss someone! Not you Mike, we all know where those lips have been. But hey, maybe Brick and Jo wanna kiss and make up? Didn't think so. Where's Chef with the Marshmallow of Loserdom? Who’s gonna roast these losers now?” he asked.

Cut to Chef tied to a tree as Izzy shot plungers at him with a bow as she laughed. “You really piss me off.” Chef said.

Cut to the campfire. “Permission to speak. I volunteer for elimination. I do not deserve to stay. I did not follow my own code.” Brick said as he got up.

“Ha, no kidding, Sir Leaks-a-Lot.” Jo mocked.

“So I'm afraid of the dark. That's what night vision goggles are for. You'd never make it in my squadron!” Brick said as Jo yawned

“Hey, you got lucky. We’d all probably vote for you anyway.” Cameron told Jo.

“Whatever.” Jo rolled her eyes.

“At ease, soldier. Tonight's eliminated Maggot is tomorrow's new Rat.” Chris said.

“I'm not taking the Hurl of Shame?” Brick asked.

“Nope. From hereon in, Brick and Jo will be fighting it out on opposing teams.” Chris said as everyone but Brick and Jo gasped.

“Oh…” Anne Maria said in shock.

“Pfft, lame.” Jo rolled her eyes.

“Thank you, sir! I won't ignore the code again, sir!” Brick said.

“Whatever. Kind of disappointing no one's going for a catapult ride, though.” Chris said.

“I finished filling your toilets with spring water. What?” Dakota said as she came while Chris grinned.

Cut to Dakota in the catapult with a floaty duck. “This is so unfair! Why am I being eliminated twice?!” Dakota asked.

“Relax, you're not being eliminated. You're welcome to swim back here. I gave you a flotation device, after all.” Chris said as the floatie popped.

“Wait! I need a new-- duck!” Dakota yelled as she was catapulted.

“Better. Wanna know who I catapult off the island next? You'll have to come back to find out right here on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” Chris said as the episode ended.

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island…” Chris began the recap. “Ten campers went on a scavenger hunt. That was spooky. And very very painful. Ha ha. Anne Maria and Vito sucked face, and just when we thought it couldn't get any weirder, Arachna-Izzy showed up to do an eight-legged tap dance for a captive audience and her buddy Chef. In the end, Brick left five teammates behind and volunteered for a dishonorable discharge. But I put him on the opposite team instead. Hey, it's my show. I can do what I want. Watch!” he said as Chef brought Dakota and tossed her in the water.

“Ah! Where am I?! Ow! Ow!” Dakota screamed as she was attacked by the piranhas.

“Who will ride the Hurl of Shame next? How many times can I laugh at them before then? Find out right now on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” Chris ended the recap.

(Theme song)

Cut to the guys side of the Rats cabin. “Man, shark, get away! Oh! Oh!” Scott yelled in his sleep as he was woken up by a loud alarm and ended up falling off the bed.

“My ears!” Sam jumped up and down.

“I'm up, coach! Lightning's up!” Lightning yelled as he woke up.

“What's happening?!” Scott asked.

“Out of my way!” Lightning said as he charged toward the other two.

“Ah!” Scott and Sam grunted as they were tackled into the ground by him when Brick turned off his alarm.

“Ah... Rise and shine, soldiers!” Brick said as he ran out.

“So... how 'bout that new guy?” Sam asked.

“Seems like a loser to me.” Scott said.

“Man, couldn’t he have at least waited until I won the game before waking me up!?” Lightning complained.

Confessional: Sam

“Man, my ears haven't rung like that since I played Guitar Band 9 on maximum rockness.” Sam said as he played on his GameGuy.

Confessional: Lightning

“There I was on the one yard line, ready to score a touchdown to win the Super Bowl, when the new guy's alarm clock went off! If he wakes me up one more time like that, he's gonna get struck by Lightning!” Lightning angrily said.

Confessional: Scott

“Show you what I'm gonna do to Brick. Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Ha ha.” Scott said as he punched Brick’s alarm clock and dropped it in the water. “What the...? Oh!” he yelled as he was blasted by toilet water due to it.

“Well, I don’t trust that guy. He just seems very suspicious to me.” Scott said.

“How so?” Sam asked.

“I mean, did you see how he quit in the last elimination despite not being voted out? It’s almost as if he wanted to switch teams for something.” Scott said.

“That does sound kind of sha-sus…” Lightning said.

“Exactly! But if the three of us agree to vote him off, we can eliminate him before he does something bad.” Scott said.

“Count me in!” Lightning said.

“Eh, fine with me. I don’t care who goes as long as it’s not me, heh.” Sam chuckled.

Confessional: Scott

“Man, it’s a good thing my team is so full of idiots. I can just easily convince them to off whoever I want.” Scott said.

Cut to the guys side of the Maggots cabin. “Oh, all right guys, settle down.” Mike mumbled in his sleep.

“Stick the landing, Svetlana. Practice makes perfect ten, hi-yah.” Svetlana said as she jumped off the bed in her sleep.

“You're goin' down, Twinkle Toes.” Vito mumbled in his sleep.

“I've had it with you punks!” Chester mumbled in his sleep.

“Fascinating.” Cameron said as he observed this.

Confessional: Cameron

“So far, I've documented three separate personalities within Mike. He's like a walking, talking psychology textbook. And it's a total page turner! He’s been lying and saying that he’s an actor instead of admitting to having DID. I should probably talk to him about this but I don’t want to pressure him into admitting it.” Cameron said.

Cut to Brick running into Dawn who was putting wood in a trash bag. “Morning, fellow teammate! Need assistance chopping wood?” Brick asked as he got a log.

Confessional: Brick

“I still feel bad about ignoring my code and not helping my teammates. But I learnt my lesson! In this team, I’ll put my teammates above anything else!” Brick said.

“You don't have to help just because you were teased a lot as a child.” Dawn said.

“Wha-- who told you that?” Brick asked.

“It's right there in your aura. Between your bladder control issues and your need to be dominated.” Dawn said as she left.

“I don't need to be dominated. I'm large and in charge!” Brick said as he heard a whistle.

“Ten-hut!” Jo yelled as she came.

“Sir, yes, sir!” Brick said as he saluted, accidentally hitting himself with the log.

“Playing patty cakes with the new playmates, huh? Well, enjoy the honeymoon, G.I. Joke. 'Cause today, we're bringing the pain.” Jo mocked.

“Negative that! Your platoon has zero morale! That's what happens when you lose your best soldier!” Brick said.

“Listen, Brick for Brains! We don't need you. I'm a champion sprinter, shotputter, and squat thruster. And I'm whipping the rest of these limp noodles into shape.” Jo said as she pointed at Cameron looking at a book.

“"How to do a push-up. Step one, lie on the ground. Step two, push up." Oh…” Cameron said as he read it and failed to do a push-up.

“Uh, I think he needs some more mork.” Brick said.

“Whatever, you and your lame-o team are still going down!” Jo said.

“We’ll see about that!” Brick said.

“See how pathetic you are?” Jo mocked.

“See how well my team works together! Unlike in yours where you didn’t let me help my teammates and made me ignore my code!” Brick said.

“God, you’re so lame. Enjoy getting beaten now that we aren’t on the same team, Sourpuss!” Jo said as she walked away as Brick growled.

Confessional: Jo

“I’m actually glad Soggypants got switched to the other team. Now I’m free to argue with him without worrying about team spirit or whatever.” Jo said.

Confessional: Brick

“Now that me and Jo are on different teams, things will probably be tougher than usual. But this soldier is no quitter! If Jo wants a fight, then I’ll give her one!” Brick said.

Cut to the guys side of the Rats cabin where Sam was playing on his GameGuy as Lightning’s stomach growled. “Time to refuel!” Lightning said as he looked at a bucket and saw that it was empty as he screamed.

“Dude, sounds like a shaman warlock cast a screaming spell on you.” Sam said.

“Lightning was robbed!” Lightning said.

“What'd they take? Your weapons or your armor?” Sam asked.

“My protein powder!” Lightning said.

“Oh. Yeah, that is totally worth freaking out over. Probably, heh.” Sam said.

“Scoopy, I will find the monster who did this. Lightning swears it.” Lightning told the scoop.

“New guy shows up, protein goes AWOL. Do the math.” Scott said.

“So, you’re saying…” Lightning said.

“Figure it out yourself.” Scott said as he left.

Confessional: Lightning

“I have to eat protein at breakfast, lunch, lunch 2 and dinner or else I’ll not be able to reach sha-super sha-Lightning sha-omega sha-power! I need protein, now!” Lightning said.

Cut to the mess hall where Chef gave Lightning some food. “There's protein in this, right?” Lightning asked.

“Who gives a fuck.” Chef said.

“Ugh, I need protein, plain and simple!” Lightning said as he left with the food.

“Your chi is looking shrunken.” Dawn said.

“Chi?! Which muscle is chi? Whatever, doesn't matter. Lightning does not do shrinkage. Gimme that!” Lightning said as he took Dawn’s food and began eating it with his own.

“I wasn’t going to eat it anyway. It may have contained animals.” Dawn said as Lightning ate.

“Ugh, have you guys seen my GameGuy? I can’t find it anywhere!” Sam said as he came.

“Oh no! That sounds horrible!” Dawn said.

“I know right?” Sam said.

“Now you know how I feel like without protein! I need more, this won't be enough.” Lightning said as he ran into the kitchen.

“Attention, campers! Breakfast is cutting into precious time that you could spend getting injured! Grab your swimsuits and meet me at the dock! Pronto! You have ten seconds to exit the mess hall before I release... the raccoon!” Chris said from the loudspeaker.

“The raccoon?” Anne Maria said as everyone laughed when a cage with a giant mutant raccoon was lowered as everyone ran out screaming.

“Hey, where y'all going? Oh well. More for Lightning!” Lightning said as he came with a cart of meat and started eating when the raccoon glared at him.

Cut to everyone outside. “What's the matter with you? That thing could have killed us!” Jo told Chris.

“Nah. Only if you got between him and food. Hm. Team Rat, still looks like you're missing a player!” Chris said.

“Stop looking at my sha-prot-Ah!” Lightning’s voice came from the inside as he was thrown out of the window.

“Never mind!” Chris said.

Cut to everyone at the dock. “All right, here to help get today's competition underway, say hello to one of our classic competitors, Tyler!” Chris said as Tyler came in a canoe with Dakota.

“You guys ready for some canoe riding action? Cuz this guy is kicking it into high gear! To the extreme!” Tyler cheered.

“Hey, aren’t you that guy who sat on the bench for most of the time and then messed up a goal in that one game against the Crows?” Lightning said.

“Wait, are you sha-Lightning? Man, you’re like, totally my idol! I still can’t believe you scored 3 goals back to back in that one football match against the Reptiles!” Tyler said.

“Ah yeah, another fan!” Lightning cheered.

“Relax, you two can have your reunion later. Just chum the water with our intern, Dakota. And try not to get eaten.” Chris said as he tossed the two buckets of chum.

“Ew! What is this stuff?” Dakota asked.

“Leftovers. From last season. Turns out plane food kinda sucks.” Chris said.

“Man, the smell really brings back memories.” Tyler said.

“Gross! Whoa!” Dakota said as she dumped it in the water, causing Fang to bite the front of their boat, making them flinch back.

“So not cool!” Tyler said.

“Challenge part one! Each team must get a pair of water skis in an underwater mission, or drown trying. One victim-- I mean, camper... will snag the skis in an old school diving suit and float them to the surface while the rest of their team pumps them oxygen. First team to surface their skis wins and gets an advantage in part two.” Chris said.

Cut to the Maggots on one side of the dock. “Hey Zoey, why don’t you have your glasses?” Mike asked.

“I couldn’t find them when I woke up this morning.” Zoey said.

“Weird. I couldn’t find my socks either.” Mike said.

“Well, if we’re talking about lost items, I can’t find my notebook.” Cameron said.

“Ah, that’s too bad Cam. What did you write on it anyway?” Mike asked.

“Uh, n-nothing important.” Cameron said nervously.

“I’m telling you all, someone’s stealing our sha-stuff!” Lightning said as he came.

“Go back to your team, jockstrap! Listen up, maggots! I'm diving!” Jo said as Lightning left.

“Hey, oh! What are you sayin'? None of us can do it?” Anne Maria said as Jo dropped the helmet on Cameron’s head, making him collapse.

“Jo makes a solid point.” Cameron said.

“Listen to chicken legs, get busy pumping air, and don't make me use my whistle. All right, who took my whistle?” Jo said as she couldn’t find her whistle.

Meanwhile, the Rats were on the other side. “Men, and Dawn, I suggest we draw straws to see who dives.” Brick said when Scott put the helmet on him backwards.

“Forget the straws, doofus! Time to prove your loyalty to your new platoon.” Scott said.

“Sir, yes, sir! Ah!” Brick saluted.

Confessional: Scott

“Sir? What a doofus!” Scott laughed as he whittled a stick.

Cut to Brick and Jo in the diving suits glaring at each other. “Ready? Go!” Chris said as they jumped in and saw the skis. They ran toward them when suddenly Brick was stopped by Fang grabbing his cord.

“Ah!” Brick screamed as he turned back and saw Fang.

Meanwhile, Sam was struggling to pump air. “Tired already, Soft Serve?” Scott mocked.

“Give me a break! This isn’t as easy as button mashing!” Sam said.

“One side!” Lightning said as he shoved Sam.

“Ah!” Sam grunted as he fell in the water.

“This is how you pump air!” Lightning said as he began pumping quickly, sending a giant air bubble toward Brick which inflated his suit, bouncing Fang off it when he tried to tackle him.

“Go Jo! Go Jo!” Cameron cheered.

“You better get those skis girl!” Anne Maria said.

“Mike, can we talk about what happened in the last challenge?” Zoey told Mike as he pumped air while she stood on the hose without noticing, blocking the air passage.

“Is this about me kissing Anne Maria?” Mike asked.

“Yeah, I’m just confused since I didn’t think you’d be into her.” Zoey said.

“I’m not, I swear! I don't know how I ended up kissing Anne Maria. Sometimes I get so deep into character that I don't know what I'm doing.” Mike said.

“So, you're like uh, a method actor?” Zoey asked.

“Exactly! Look, Zoey, you're like, the most amazing girl I've ever met.” Mike said.

“The most amazing?” Zoey asked.

“Yeah! And if you don't like my um, funny characters, then I'll totally retire them!” Mike said.

“I don't want you to give up acting but maybe just tone it down?” Zoey said.

“Consider it toned.” Mike said. Meanwhile, Jo stopped while walking underwater due to not getting the oxygen and shook the hose.

“Hey! Get off the air hose, bozo!” Anne Maria said as she shoved Zoey off it, causing the air to reach Jo as she sighed in relief.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice! Wait, are you wearing orange paint?” Zoey asked as she saw an orange handprint on her arm.

“Oh no. No. Are you disrespectin' the tan?” Anne Maria said.

“No I’m just, whoa!” Zoey grunted as she tripped on the hose, accidentally holding onto Mike’s shirt and ripping it off, making him inhale.

“Ladies, why fight? There's enough candy for everyone. The candy being me.” Vito said as he flexed his abs.

“Yeah, Vito! Gimme some sugar!” Anne Maria said as she hugged him, making him smirk as Zoey gasped.

“I get the message.” Zoey sighed as she left.

Confessional: Zoey

“FYI Mike, that is not toning it down.” Zoey said.

Confessional: Anne Maria

“Princess Goody-Goody better step off. Vito and I are made for each other.” Anne Maria said.

Cut to Dawn was putting stuff in a trash bag when she saw her teammates on the dock. “Ah. This is taking forever! I gotta whittle something. Wait, where's my lucky shark tooth? Brick must've stole it! Like he stole Jocko's protein, Gamer Boy’s toy, Nerdette’s glasses, Bubble Boy’s book, That One Guy’s socks and Man-Lady's whistle.” Scott said as he looked at his pocket.

“Man, can’t believe he stole my GameGuy. I would have let him play with it if he just asked!” Sam said.

“Brick couldn't steal a TV in a riot.” Anne Maria said as she came.

“Think about it. That doof's been on both teams. He knows everybody's best stuff and he's taking it to mess with us.” Scott said.

“As if, there's no proof that-- hey, where's my hairbrush? Oh, that is it! Brick's getting a beat down!” Anne Maria said as she walked away after not being able to find her hairbrush in her hair.

Meanwhile, Fang was using Brick as a toy underwater when the hose snapped, causing Brick to be shot forward and crash into Jo at hit the skis, launching them up and he was sent flying into the air as he screamed.

“The Rats win the first challenge!” Chris said.

Cut to Zoey drawing a broken heart on the stick. “Oh…” Zoey sighed.

“Don't worry, Zoey. You won't be lonely forever.” Dawn said as she appeared out of nowhere.

“Oh, hey Dawn. Well, tell that to Anne Maria and Mike. Or should I call him Vito? I get he doesn’t have to like me over her, but he should at least be honest about it. I was so happy to finally have a friend and yet he’s not even being honest with me.” Zoey said as she crossed out the heart.

“Trust me, Mike likes you a lot.” Dawn said.

“How can you be so sure?” Zoey asked.

“It's all over his aura. The Mike parts of it, anyway.” Dawn said.

“Really? Wait... what do you mean, "the Mike parts"? Dawn? Was it something I said?” Zoey said as she noticed Dawn was missing when suddenly Brick crashed onto her.

“Uh, hello former teammate.” Brick mumbled.

“Ugh, hey…” Zoey mumbled.

Confessional: Zoey

“I don't like to speak badly about anyone, but Dawn totally creeps me out. Reading auras, talking to animals. I'm not saying she's a witch, but she might be a wizard. At least she’s trying to help with Mike, I appreciate that.” Zoey said.

Confessional: Dawn

“It seems that Mike’s condition has been causing some problems toward his and Zoey’s relationship. I would have told Zoey about it, but I didn’t want to violate Mike’s privacy like that.” Dawn said.

Cut to everyone else the dock. “The Rats are the first to grab water skis! Their reward? A McLean brand speed boat to use in part two of the challenge.” Chris said as a fancy boat drove up.

“Sweet!” Sam cheered.

“Sha-bam!” Lightning cheered.

“And for the Maggots… a totally leaky dinghy!” Chris said as a floatie drove up.

“Oh…” Jo, Vito, Anne Maria, and Cameron sighed.

“Suckers.” Scott chuckled when Brick came.

“Rat company! Y-You must have forgotten me.” Brick panted.

“Well, howdy, stealer.” Scott said.

“Yes, sir! We are stealing victory from those Maggots!” Brick saluted.

“That’s not-never mind.” Scott said.

“Part two of the challenge! a death-defying water ski race! The goal? Be the first to ring four bells on these four totally harmless buoys.” Chris said as Tyler and Dakota canoed onto a mine, blowing them away.

“Rude!” Dakota yelled as she crashed into a buoy.

“Make that three bells.” Chris chuckled as Tyler landed next to him.

“Not cool!” Tyler said.

“What’s the problem? You totally got to demo the challenge. Who will cry for their mommy? And whose cries will be drowned out by explosions? Find out when we return.” Chris said as Tyler coughed while the screen faded to black.

Cut back to the dock. “Before the break, the Rats got dibs on a sweet speedboat, which they'll need. Meanwhile, the Maggots are stuck dodging water mines in a leaky dinghy that couldn't float in a kiddie pool.” Chris said.

“Sha-burn!” Lightning said as he fist bumped Dawn.

“Choose three campers to water ski, one to drive, and one to operate your gull cannon.” Chris said.

“Gull cannon?” Dawn gasped.

“Yeah, you heard me.” Chris said as he pressed a button on a remote, causing two cannons filled with gulls to come out of the boats.

“First person shooter. Cool.” Sam said.

“Each team gets three chances to shoot the bells. Or the other team. Especially the other team.” Chris said.

“This seagull looks abnormal.” Cameron said as he looked at the gull in the canon.

“Oh, that's not a seagull. These babies are half seagull, half rattlesnake, all with paralyzing venom.” Chris said as the gull screeched at Cameron.

“Ah!” Cameron fell back in fear.

“Whichever team rings the most bells wins!” Chris said.

“Whoo, I'll drive, if that's okay with everybody.” Zoey said.

“Whatever. I'm gunning.” Jo said.

“I'm tannin'.” Vito said as rubbed cream on himself.

“And I'm watchin' Vito.” Anne Maria said as she looked at Vito.

“Ugh…” Zoey growled as she walked away.

“And I’m, uh, here if anyone wants help?” Cameron said.

“I see your anger and I like it. Now use it to drive us all the way to victory.” Jo told Zoey.

Confessional: Zoey

“I don’t know if being this mad is healthy, but it feels… good somehow? Is that bad?” Zoey thought.

“Lightning's driving! Sha-boom!” Lightning said as he jumped on the boat.

“Shotgun! Been shootin' kitchen rats with my pappy since I was six.” Scott said as he got on the gun.

“Guess we're skiing?” Brick said as he, Sam and Dawn held the skis.

“Uh, I'm more of a floater than a skiier.” Sam said when the airhorn played, causing Lightning to drive off while dragging the skiers with him.

“Ah!” Brick, Dawn, and Sam grunted as they fell in the water.

“Okay, it’s about to start!” Zoey said as she started driving, however their boat was extremely slow as Cameron, Anne Maria and Vito fell into the water.

“Wow. I knew it’d be crap, but I never knew it’d be this crap!” Jo said.

“Sha-zoom, baby! We got this in the bag! Those maggots will never catch up!” Lightning said as he drove the Rats boat.

“Yeah, great.” Scott chuckled as the Maggots sped up enough to the point where Vito, Cameron and Anne Maria were able to ski.

“Drive faster!” Cameron said.

“It doesn't go any faster!” Zoey replied.

“I think Princess Goody-Goody is tryin' to saber-tooth us.” Anne Maria said.

“You mean sabotage.” Cameron said.

“Whatever, Brainiac.” Anne Maria said when Fang began chasing them.

“Ah! Mutant carcharhinus amblyrhynchos!” Cameron yelled.

“Don’t let it touch my hair!” Anne Maria said.

“Don't worry babe, I got this.” Vito said as he punched Fang away.

“Oh, Vito, you are so the man.” Anne Maria said as Fang rubbed his nose.

“Let's see if we can slow down those Rats! Eat gull, losers!” Jo said as she readied the gun.

“Wait! We only have three gulls! We need to save them for the bells!” Zoey said.

“Of course! But we only need to hit two out of three to win!” Jo said as she shot a gull.

“Ah!” Brick, Dawn, and Sam yelped as it went past them and hit Lightning.

“Ah! Lightning's been hit! Lightning's... been... hit…” Lightning mumbled as he collapsed.

“Sweet. Whoa! Oh no, Lightning, look out for the reeds! Wha, oh!” Scott yelped as they went into some reeds.

“Aw, rats!” Jo chuckled when a gull went past her, hitting a mine and blowing it up.

“Great shot, Jo!” Zoey said.

“That wasn't me.” Jo said.

“Yes!” Dawn cheered as the Rats boat passed by.

“Nice one, Scott!” Sam said.

“Yeah!” Brick, Dawn, and Sam cheered.

“Yeah, whoo. Stupid gun. That shot should've been way off!” Scott mumbled to himself.

“Oh my gosh! We're losing! What do we do?” Anne Maria asked.

“What we need is an Olympian!” Cameron said, making Vito inhale.

“It's time for Svetlana to get gym-nasty!” Svetlana said.

Meanwhile, the Rats boat was still going. “It's so, so, so cold…” Lightning mumbled in his paralysis.

“Drag, man. Guess you better pull over. Look out!” Scott said as he saw Dakota on the buoy hitting Fang with a bucket.

“Get away from me, you big jerk! Hey, my bucket!” Dakota said as the Rats boat went past her as the bucket got caught in Lightning’s head.

“Protein…” Lightning mumbled as the boat suddenly stopped.

“Whoa!” Dawn, Brick, and Sam yelled as they fell off the skis.

“Svetlana will now perform the Triple Point Dismount! Hah!” Svetlana said when the Maggots boat came as she jumped and hit a mine, blowing it up and she jumped back.

“Whoa…” Sam mumbled as he, Brick and Dawn got on the boat which had stopped.

“The Maggots are ahead!” Brick said.

“And we lost our skis!” Sam said.

“Blame him, he stopped for chum.” Scott said as he pointed at Lightning who was still paralyzed.

“Lightning strikes! Sha-bam! I’ll do you proud, pops!” Lightning mumbled in his paralysis.

“Everyone calm down, I have a plan. Sam, you drive.” Dawn said.

“Woohoo! Just like playing Speedboat Runner on my Swii!” Sam said.

“Brick, we'll have to ski on Lightning.” Dawn said.

“Affirmative!” Brick said.

“Sha-bam…” Lightning mumbled in his paralysis.

“Scott, don't you dare fire anymore of those defenseless gulls!” Dawn said.

“Promise. Starting now.” Scott said as he shot a gull, upsetting Dawn.

Confessional: Dawn

“Scott’s aura has always been a bit bothersome, but it’s gotten worse as of late. I sense that he is extremely dangerous, I need to convince Lightning, Sam and Brick to vote him with me if we lose.” Dawn said.

Cut to Sam driving as Brick and Dawn skiied on Lightning. “Aw, yeah! Way to go, Dawn!” Sam said.

“Agreed! Impressive strategy, teammate!” Brick said.

“Thank you all. There’s the Maggots!” Dawn said as they saw the Maggot boat.

“Look! The Rats are back in the race!” Zoey said as she saw them.

“Not for long. What? This stupid thing's jammed!” Jo said as she tried to work the gun when it blew up on her face.

“Oh my gosh. Are you okay?” Zoey asked.

“Look out!” Jo coughed as everyone screamed when they crashed into a rock.

“My thoracic vertebrae…” Cameron mumbled.

“Those poor naked gulls! This is worse than that class field trip to the chicken nugget factory!” Dawn said as they passed them.

“Scott, Sam, there's the last mine!” Brick said as they saw the last mine.

“Sweet! Get ready to level up!” Sam said.

Confessional: Scott

“No way we can win! Winning will ruin my plan! So I gots to be smart. Smart like-- ow!” Scott said as he whittled a stick and accidentally hurt his eye by poking it with the shark tooth.

Scott smirked and then shot Sam. “One double decaf, half calf decaffin–” Sam mumbled as he collapsed.

“Oh my gosh, Sam's unconscious somehow!” Scott said.

“Ah!” Dawn and Brick yelled as they turned.

“Scott! Grab the wheel!” Brick said.

“I can't! I'm the gunner!” Scott said.

“Ah!” Dawn and Brick yelled.

Meanwhile, the Maggots were still next to the rock. “Nice driving, Red!” Jo mocked.

“I'm so sorry, guys. But look, the last bell is just over there.” Zoey said as she pointed at a mine.

“Time to take one for the team, string bean!” Jo said.

“And by "take one", you mean-- whoa!” Cameron yelled as Jo tossed him. Meanwhile, the Rats boat flew off a rock.

“Ah!” Brick and Dawn yelled as they fell off the skis while Sam and Scott fell off the boat as Lightning was shot into the air.

“Whoa!” Cameron yelled in the air.

“Sha-what is going on!?” Lightning yelled as his paralysis wore off mid-air as he crashed into Cameron when they fell on the mine with Cameron under Lightning.

“No explosion? Not cool.” Chris told Chef.

“Just wait.” Chef said when a giant explosion happened.

“Sha-boom!” Chris chuckled.

Cut to Cameron being dragged onto shore by the water where his team was waiting. “Aw yeah.” Anne Maria said.

“Sweet!” Zoey said.

“Nice work, buddy.” Mike said.

“You really came through for us, Bean Sprout. Well done.” Jo said.

“Ugh, thanks…” Cameron mumbled as he spat out water.

Confessional: Cameron

“I guess I kind of won us this challenge. Though  I don’t think I ever want to win by getting blown up by a mine again.” Cameron said.

“Aw…” Brick, Scott, and Dawn mumbled as they were dragged onto shore alongside Lightning and Sam.

“You okay after that mine, Lightning?” Brick asked.

“Pft, I’m sha-fine.” Lightning said and then collapsed.

“Ugh, what happened!?” Sam asked as his paralysis wore off.

“You got shot by a gull.” Scott said.

“Huh? How did that last gull that you said get me?” Sam asked.

“Jo had a lucky shot, I guess.” Scott said.

“Jo or the guy who shot at kitchen rats with his pappy?” Dawn said.

“And what do you mean by that?” Scott asked.

“Nothing. Just know that you won’t get away with this!” Dawn said.

Confessional: Dawn

“Jo's gun was jammed. The gull that hit Sam could only have come from our boat. I swear by the great Earth mother, I will expose Scott for the traitor he is! I don’t know if they’ll believe me yet though, and Scott might get them to vote me off if I can’t prove it. I need more evidence first.” Dawn said.

Cut to Dawn angrily storming out the confessional, unaware that Scott was watching from behind her. “Or will you?” Scott chuckled.

Confessional: Scott

“Well, looks like I have a new target on my hands. I knew Dawn was up to something after what she just said, and all it took was a little spying action to find out.” Scott chuckled.

Cut to Scott and Sam in the guys side of the Rats cabin. “I-I say we boot Dawn. She wouldn't let me fire gulls at the Maggots.” Scott said.

“I don't know. Brick's the one stealing from everyone. You said it yourself.” Sam said.

“Well, that’s fine by me. What about you, Lightning?” Scott asked.

“Beef!” Lightning yelled on his bed with the bucket still on his head as he fell asleep again.

“What's everyone talking about?” Dawn asked as she and Brick came.

“Is there something wrong, soldiers?” Brick asked.

“Nothing!” Sam said.

“Nothing.” Lightning said as he jolted awake and then fell back asleep.

“Dawn, here, you forgot this on the boat. Whoops!” Scott said as he grabbed a trash bag and then accidentally dropped it, revealing the stuff that was stolen in it.

“My GameGuy! Scott's shark tooth! Mike’s socks! Cameron’s book! Zoey’s glasses! Jo's whistle! Anne Maria’s hairspray!” 

“My protein! I've missed you!” Lightning said as he fell down the bed.

“Man, good thing I found this, a few more hours with no games and I would have gone insane, heh! Wait, wasn’t that…” Sam said.

“D-Dawn!? Why is everything in your bag? Did you steal this stuff?” Scott said, pretending to be shocked.

“Dawn? You're a thief?!” Brick said.

“No! Something’s not right here!” Dawn said.

“The evidence is clear to me.” Scott said.

“I agree! Don’t you know how expensive these consoles are?” Sam said.

“I don’t want to believe a teammate of mine would do this but…” Brick said.

“Please, I didn’t do it!” Dawn said.

“...I’m gonna go tell the Maggots.” Brick said as he left while Dawn looked upset as Scott gave an unnoticed smirk.

Confessional: Scott

“Yeah, I stole that stuff. Threw my shark tooth in there too. I was gonna pin it on Brick, but Dawn the junk collector got too smart for her own good. So I just slipped all our stuff in her garbage bag. Heh, yep. There's only room on this island for one smart guy. Also, out of all the items, the most interesting one was that nerd’s bo-” Scott said when he was suddenly blasted by water again due to the alarm clock.

Cut to Dawn outside with the bag. “Friends, you must listen to me! I was framed!” Dawn said.

“Did you read anything important in my notebook!?” Cameron asked.

“Why would you steal my socks out of everything?” Mike said.

“I can’t believe you’d just steal all of this like that.” Zoey said.

“I didn’t! I’m sure it was-” Dawn tried to say something but was interrupted.

“Forget that. You're gettin' a beat down!” Anne Maria said and approached Dawn but was stopped by Jo blowing her whistle.

“Back off, Helmet Hair. This one's mine!” Jo said as she approached Dawn but was stopped by Scott.

“Ladies, ladies. This is a Rat problem. And we'll deal with this Rat tonight.” Scott said.

“Ugh, fine. I better not see her face tomorrow.” Jo said as she and the rest of the Maggots walked away.

“See you at elimination.” Scott chuckled as the Rats left as well as Dawn sighed.

Cut to the elimination. “After an episode bursting with betrayal, it's the Rats who have back-stabbed the best.” Chris began the ceremony.

“Thunder Lover! You got shot and were unconscious for most of the challenge!” Chef called out Lightning who looked uncaring.

“Couch Potato! You got shot by a gull while driving too!” Chef called out Sam who looked upset.

“Soldier Boy! That shark gave you a big whoppin' while you were trying to get the skiis!” Chef called out Brick who looked disappointed.

“Cockroach Girl! You were exposed as a thief! Will your teammates be so forgiving?” Chef called out Dawn who looked nervous.

“Finally, Dirt Boy! You only landed one gull and then was useless for the rest of the drive!” Chef called out Scott who rolled his eyes.

“Following campers are momentarily safe.” Chris said as he began tossing the marshmallows.

“Brick.” he said as he tossed him a marshmallow.

“Sam.” he said as he tossed him a marshmallow.

“and the artist formerly known as Bucket Head.” he said as he tossed Lightning a marshmallow.

“Sha-bam.” Lightning cheered as he caught his marshmallow. Scott and Dawn were both glaring at each other.

“And the Toxic Marshmallow of Loserdom goes to...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Dawn.” he said as she gasped while he tossed the toxic marshmallow.

“What? Wait! You can't eliminate me. For I have found the McLean invincibility statue!” Dawn said as she pulled out the immunity idol as everyone gasped.

“Where's the McLean seal of approval?” Chris asked.

“McLean seal? Wha, where?” Dawn said as she checked the idol.

“Sorry, fairy princess. Looks like you dug up one of my knockoffs that I did for fun. I do love me some whittlin'! Ow!” Scott said as Dawn tossed the idol at his head.

“I knew the universe wouldn't want me to win such a perverse game.” Dawn said.

“Hm. Perverse, I like that.” Chris said.

“But what the universe does want me to do is sell these discarded TDR keepsakes on Crud's List, so I can start a sanctuary for all the poor mutant creatures on this island!” Dawn said as she showed the trash bag.

“That's adorable. Pointless, but adorable.” Chris said.

“And to my fellow victims of reality television, I urge you to rise up against the soulless, sociopathic scoundrel hiding among you! I stayed silent since I knew you’d doubt me, but I must tell you who it is and my reasoning for believing it.” Dawn said.

“Chef?” Chris asked.

“The traitor in your midst is–” Dawn said when Chef captured her in a trash bag as everyone gasped while Scott looked relieved.

Cut to Dawn in the trash bag on the catapult. “Wait! I have to warn my teammates!” Dawn screamed as she was catapulted away.

“Whoops. Guess they'll never know. Or will they? Find out next time on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” Chris chuckled.

Cut to Daktoa still on the buoy. “Uh, hello? Somebody? Anybody?!” Dakota asked as Fang swam by her while the episode ended.

VOTES

Confessional: Lightning

“I can’t believe creepy girl would steal my protein! I guess it makes sense since she’s a vegantarian or something so she didn't want me to eat it.” Lightning said as she showed a picture of Dawn that had a steak drawn on it.

Confessional: Brick

“I can’t believe a teammate of mine would steal, but the facts are apparent to me.” Brick said as he crossed out a picture of Dawn.

Confessional: Scott

“That’ll teach you not to mess with me.” Scott said as he drew an evil face on a picture of Dawn.

Confessional: Dawn

“I should’ve realized this sooner.” Dawn said as she showed a picture of Scott with 666 written on it.

Confessional: Sam

“Did she really want to game so much that she’d steal one of her fellow gamers' prized consoles?” Sam said as he drew some game characters on a picture of Dawn.

BONUS CLIP

Dawn’s Audition Tape

Dawn was in a treehouse, surrounded by animals and props like candles. “Greetings, citizens of the universe. I am Dawn, and I'm recording this for the purpose of participating in Total Drama: Revenge of the Island. Oh, hello there, blessed little one. I read my tea leaves this morning, and they said that the show would make me a lot of money. Well, money's not important to me. Nature and my animal friends are. It's by channeling their harmony that I will win Total Drama and donate my money to help Mother Earth!” Dawn explained as she grabbed a squirrel which was taken away by an eagle as the tape ended.

Chapter Text

“Previously on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island…” Chris began the recap. “The campers got deep with an underwater scavenger hunt. Mike's alter ego Vito pumped his way into Anne Maria's heart, and under Zoey's skin. And Mike's other alter ego Svetlana threw down some gold-medal moves in the water skiing challenge! In the end, Dawn was tossed for swiping everybody's stuff, even though it was really Scott. Sneaky. It's now Team Maggot vs. Team Rat. Will the Rats man up before they're a man down? Let's hope not! There's nothing more entertaining than a man down.” he said as Chef played on a GameGuy and fell down a crack on the dock.

“Ah!” Chef grunted as he fell in the water.

“More where that came from right now on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” Chris ended the recap.

(Theme song)

Cut to Mike and Cameron in front of the toilet. “Um, hello? Is it our turn yet?” Cameron asked.

“Come on, I’m about to pee my pants in here!” Mike said and then inhaled.

“Ah, dang whippersnappers! Why does it take so long to use a stupid toilet?” Chester complained as Cameron looked in thought.

Confessional: Cameron

“Well, at this point I’m 99.9131314% sure that Mike does have DID. I just hope Dawn didn’t read my theory from my notebook and told it to anyone else.” Cameron said.

Cut to the inside of the toilet. “Ah, keep your panties on! Yeesh, nice hair. Looks like Princess Leia lost a scissor fight.” Anne Maria mocked Zoey.

“Actually, it's more like Queen Amidala.” Zoey said.

“More like Queen I'm-a-dork-a.” Anne Maria said as she sprayed a massive amount of hairspray and then flicked her hair, showing it was as hard as steel. “Now that is how you do hair!” she said.

Confessional: Zoey

“How even-?” Zoey said in shock.

“I'll pass on the frilly, girly hair care, thank you.” Jo said as she pulled a razor before she began using it while she wasn’t shown as Zoey and Anne Maria looked concerned.

Cut to the Rats in their cabin. “Fellow Rats, we may be on a losing streak, but it doesn’t matter! We are going to stop those Maggots, for we are a team of men!” Brick said.

“To Team Men.” Lightning said as he extended his hand.

“Team Men!” Brick and Scott said as they extended theirs.

“Men 'til the end!” Sam said as he extended his, showing that he had a weird looking thumb.

“Ugh!” Scott and Lightning recoiled in disgust.

“Yikes! What's with the circus thumb?” Scott asked.

“Oh. This thing? That's ten years of gaming right there.” Sam said as he flexed his thumb.

“Video games? Listen champ, we are men. You are a smelly ball of dough with ears.” Lightning said.

“Smelly? Hey, gamers are athletes too! People just don’t realize that due to how oppressed by society we are! We've got keen hand and eye coordination, cat-like reflexes. Watch!” Sam said.

Cut to Sam in front of a mouse trap with a piece of cheese in it. “Come to papa, cheesy. And... boom!” Sam said as he quickly grabbed the cheese.

“Ooh!” Brick said in amazement.

“Ooh, wow.” Lightning said.

“Wow.” Scott said.

“See, guys? Ah! That stings! Ah! Ah! Reflexes... cat-like.” Sam mumbled as he stepped on a mousetrap.

Confessional: Sam

“So maybe that wasn't the best way to show my skills, but I'm totally out of practice! Chris confiscated my last handheld yesterday. I haven't played a video game in fourteen hours, five minutes, and twenty-two seconds! Ah! Can someone please send me a game console? I’ll even accept a VirtualGuy at this point!” Sam broke down.

Cut to outside. “It's challenge time! Campers, meet me on the other side of the island!” Chris said from the loudspeaker.

Cut to everyone on some bleachers in front of a theater. “Hey, Zoey. Really like your hair.” Mike said.

“Lemme guess. And your "character" Vito likes Anne Maria's hair?” Zoey said as a woodpecker pecked Anne Maria’s hair, not even leaving a dent.

“Zoey, look, I just-” Mike tried to say but was interrupted.

“I don’t want to talk right now.” Zoey said.

Confessional: Zoey

“I really thought Mike was a nice guy. But either he's into me or Anne Maria. Pick a side, okay?” Zoey said.

Confessional: Mike

“My multiple personalities are really messing things up with Zoey. Mostly Vito. I never thought I'd have so much trouble just keeping my shirt on.” Mike said.

Chris came down with his jetpack in a suit with a white wig while Chef came wearing a rapper costume. “Stupid show.” Chef mumbled as he took the jetpack from Chris as he landed.

“Welcome to your challenge! The Weird and Wild Fashion Spectacular!” Chris said.

“Fashion? Now you're talking!” Anne Maria said.

“Eh, fashion. Waste of time.” Jo said.

“So says the girl in men's prison sweats.” Anne Maria said.

“Hey! Nobody needs to be reminded that I'm a girl!” Jo replied.

“Sorry, who's a girl?” Lightning asked when Chris blew an air horn.

“Zip it! You won't be walking the catwalk. Nononono. No amount of fashion can help you people. Ha ha. Here's how it's gonna work. Each team gets a wardrobe of clothes, a makeup kit, and ten minutes to dress and make up a model, which you'll send down the runway to be judged by myself, Chef, and today's Total Drama classic competitor, Lindsay!” Chris said as Lindsay popped out of a chest.

“Yay! Don't you just love my new special fashion judgy shoes?” Lindsay said as she wore blue boots.

“Wow! We get to dress an actual model!” Zoey said.

“Uh huh. Right after you catch one.” Chris said.

“Catch a model? Child's play. The way they eat, they'll pass out after three steps.” Jo said.

“Wait, I have to run?” Lindsay asked.

“No. Did I say human models? Don't think so. No, your models are in there!” Chris said as he pointed at the forest where wild animal noises came. “They're wild, they're mutated, and like me, despise teenagers. Okay, fashionistas! Go!” he said as he blared an airhorn as everyone ran.

Cut to Anne Maria and Zoey looking around in the forest. “Just leave this to me Red, I’ll find something almost as hot as me in no time!” Anne Maria said.

“Uh huh, whatever you say.” Zoey said as she rolled her eyes.

Confessional: Anne Maria

“This challenge was basically made for me! I’m like, totally a fashion expert n'all that jazz.” Anne Maria said.

“I think I see something there!” Mike said as he climbed a tree when he saw a frog on it. He grabbed it but was teleported away into the air by it. “Oof!” he grunted as he fell from the air, causing his sweater to be ripped off by a branch as he fell.

“What the? Yo Pasty, have you seen Anne Maria?” Vito asked Zoey as she came.

“Ugh, I think she went over there.” Zoey said as she pointed away.

“Cool, see ya later!” Vito said as he ran there.

Confessional: Zoey

“At least he stopped trying to hide it.” Zoey said.

Cut to Lightning grabbing a giant turtle's tail. “Hah! You’re sha-mine! Ah! Oof! Ah... Ah...” Lightning said as the turtle grabbed him and punched him away.

Cut to Cameron grabbing a beaver. “Gotcha!” Cameron said as he caught a beaver.

“Nice job, String B-” Jo tried to say before seeing that it was actually a giant anglerfish with a beaver for a light.

“Ah!” Cameron and Jo yelled as they ran away from it.

Cut to Anne Maria and Vito finding a tree with a mutant deer on it. “How are we gonna get that thing down from there?” Anne Maria asked.

“Don’t worry babe, I got this.” Vito said as he punched the tree, making the deer fall on them.

Cut to Brick running away from a squirrel that tried to shoot lasers at him. “Come on! I just wanted to dress you up in something cool!” Brick said as he ran away.

Confessional: Brick

“Okay, I’ve always sort of been interested in fashion. This challenge could be my chance to finally show my dressing skills that I’ve been working on!” Brick said.

Cut to Sam finding a bunch of moles. “Hey, this is just like that one arcade game!” Samsaid as he tried to hit the moles by jumping into them, only for them to go back in the holes and then pop up. “It’s a lot easier when you don’t have to move your entire body…” he sighed as he collapsed.

Cut to Zoey climbing a tree to find a bird in a nest. “Well, you don’t seem so bad.” Zoey said as the bird exploded in her face. “Or maybe not…” she said.

Cut to Scott finding a slice of pizza in a rope trap. “Pizza? What's this doing here?” Scott said as he saw Fang behind a tree holding an axe, ready to activate the trap. “Hmm. Too bad there's pepperoni on it, otherwise I'd totally eat that.” he said as he walked away while Fang facepalmed. Fang went to eat the pepperoni pieces while Scott used the shark tooth to cut the rope, capturing Fang. “Oh perfect! No pepperoni!” he chuckled as he came and ate the pizza while Fang growled.

Cut to the Maggots looking at some mutant animals attacking each other. “So, which one do we use?” Mike asked.

“Uh, maybe we should find something that can't eat us.” Zoey said.

“Five minutes, people!” Chris said from the loudspeaker.

“Hey, guys? How about that slimy maggot? The one that's the size of a beagle. It'd be a cinch to catch, and dress. We could just slide it down the runway.” Cameron said as he pointed at a puking maggot.

“Killer idea, Bubble Boy.” Jo said.

“All right, step aside and let me work. This maggot's gotta look bangin'.” Anne Maria said as she approached the maggot.

Cut to the Rats in a bush. “Come on, guys! There's gotta be something on this island we can catch!” Scott said.

“How about that critter?” Lightning said as he pointed at Sasquatch entering a cave.

“Uh, I don't know guys. How are we gonna get it out of there and dress it in time?” Sam asked.

“Firepower. The only way to take down a formidable enemy. Come on!” Brick said.

Cut to the Rats on the stage where Brick stuffed some clothes and glue into a duffel bag. “Men, you are looking at a live DDB. Detonating duffel bag. It can forcibly dress any target within its sixty foot blast radius! Clothes, glue, and a little bit of fertilizer. We'll just blast the duds onto him!” Brick explained.

“Now that is how a man gets dressed!” Lightning said as they fist bumped.

“Army boots? Puffy vests? Jockstraps? Guys, this is a fashion show. We need chic, sophisticated, coordinated looks! And I know just who to talk to. Be right back!” Sam said as he looked in the duffel bag and then ran away.

“What is that soldier doing?” Brick asked.

“Ugh, I hope he doesn’t screw anything up.” Scott said.

“Is this another one of those sha-gamer references that I don’t get?” Lightning said.

Cut to the Maggots where the maggot now had a rapper costume. “Aw yeah. Do I got style or what?” Anne Maria said as the maggot puked.

“Um, I agree with the maggot.” Mike said.

“Three minutes remaining!” Chris said from the loudspeaker.

“We're running out of time!” Jo gasped.

“If you guys don't mind, I'll take a crack at it.” Zoey said.

“That’d probably be for the best.” Cameron said.

“Urgh…” Anne Maria complained.

Cut to Chris drinking a glass of chocolate milk under an umbrella while sitting on a chair. “Dakota, when you're done cleaning up the environment, could you get me another drink? Thanks!” Chris told Dakota as she rolled a barrel.

“Ugh.” Dakota sighed.

“Dakota, hey! Uh, can I help?” Sam said as he came panting.

“Aww, you're such a gentleman.” Dakota said as Sam blushed.

“Heh, thanks. Do you think you could give me some fashion tips? I mean, you're so well put together, even when working with toxic waste.” Sam asked as he rolled the barrel for her.

“You want my advice? Really? No one ever asks me for my advice! Sure, I'd be happy to help! Okay. This is major top secret. Like, three whole seasons ahead secret. Stripes. They are so on trend.” Dakota whispered.

“Stripes, of course! Thanks, Dakota, you're an angel!” Sam said as he ran away while Dakota blushed.

Confessional: Dakota

“It’s so sweet of Sam to check on me! Working for Chris has been torture, but at least it’s nice to have someone to talk to.” Dakota said.

Cut to Zoey finishing dressing the maggot, but the maggot was not shown to the camera. “There. What do you think? Too much? Too little? Be honest. Unless you hate it.” Zoey said.

“Wow, Zoey. Not bad.” Cameron said.

“It's not good either.” Anne Maria said.

“I think it works.” Mike said.

“One minute!” Chris said from the loudspeaker.

“It's fine. We're not spending all day on this. Let's get back to Chris.” Jo said as they left.

Cut to the Rats in front of the cave. “I think this is enough!” Sam said as he put some sweaters in the duffel bag.

“This better be good, gamer boy.” Scott said.

“The striped duffel bomb is ready for the big game! Go long!” Lightning said as Brick tossed it in the cave, causing an explosion as Sasquatch’s roar came.

“Ah!” Brick, Scott, and Lightning said in fear.

“Uh-oh!” Sam said as they ran away.

Cut to the theater where Chris, Chef and Lindsay were on the judge seats. “It's freaky forest fashion time. Maggoteers, show me something fierce. Chef, drop that needle!” Chris said.

“Get ready to move it!” Chef said as he played some calm music.

Cameron brought out the maggot which wore a red dress with polka dots and a yellow wig. “This gorgeous plus-sized maggot is showing off a bold, retro fashion like no other. Her swank new hairdo perfectly complements her dynamite vintage sixties go-go dress. Ech!” Anne Maria said unenthusiastically.

“Little gross, what with the oozing and squirming. I give it an 8.5!” Chris said.

“Yeah!” Mike, Cameron, and Zoey cheered as Chef held an 8.0 and Lindsay held a 1.8.

“Hey, what?” Jo asked as the Maggot puked on Lindsay.

“Oops.” Lindsay said as she turned it to make 8.1 while Chef turned it to 0.8.

“Okay, show me what you got, Rats! Rats?” Chris said as the Rats didn’t appear for a moment before coming in screaming while being chased by Sasquatch in a striped sweater.

“As you can see, Yeti is wearing a smart Bohemian striped ensemble! The outfit consists of a variety of garments applied forcefully to random parts of his body!” Sam yelled as Sasquatch punched Brick and Scott off the stage while Lightning jumped off and then grabbed Sam.

“That thing is huge!” Lindsay gasped as Sasquatch looked shocked.

“Ew, horizontal stripes? Sam, I meant vertical stripes. Horizontals just make you look fat!” Dakota said as she came.

“They do?” Sam said as Sasquatch looked shocked.

“True. It hardly complements the Yeti's husky physique.” Chef said as the paparazzi came to take pictures of Sasquatch.

“Hey, what are you guys doing? I called you here to take pictures of me!” Dakota said.

“I thought we filed a restraining order against them?” Chris asked Chef.

“Not every paparazzi is the same one y’know.” Chef said.

The camera flashes upset Sasquatch, causing him to drop Sam. “Ah!” Sam yelled as Sasquatch tore off the sweater.

“Chris is right, stripes are so-- ah!” Lindsay screamed as Sasquatch took the jetpack and flew away with her.

“Hey! He took my jetpack! Uh huh. Will Lindsay survive? And am I legally liable if she doesn't? Find out after the break.” Chris said as the screen faded to black.

Cut to Chris on the phone. “What do you mean I'm liable if the Yeti eats Lindsay? It's not my fault that thing went insane! Gotta go. Hey, hey, hey! For our next challenge, the two teams will... compete to rescue Lindsay! Yep, that's it. Everyone grab a canoe and head to Boney Island! It's all good.” Chris chuckled nervously.

Cut to the Rats on a canoe. “Way to go with the fashion tips.” Scott told Sam.

“Sorry, guys. I haven't played a video game in so long, my brain's not working. Huh? Um, did you guys see that just now?” Sam asked as he saw some ducks being pixelated.

“See what?” Scott asked.

“Those ducks! We need to shoot them before the dog laughs at us!” Sam said.

“Uh, are you okay there soldier?” Brick asked.

“I think gamer boy finally lost it.” Scott said.

“I guess he shouldn't have gamed so much.” Lightning said.

Confessional: Sam

“Whoa! Look at all these wood planks here! These could be useful to build a house! Ah!” Sam yelled in pain as he punched the confessional wall, hurting his hand.

Cut to everyone searching on Boney Island. “Lindsay! Where are you?” Zoey yelled as Scott noticed her.

Confessional: Scott

“Chris is gonna merge the teams any day now, so it's time to start working on the Maggots. Hm, Zoey's ripe for the plucking after the stuff between her and Mike. And you ask anybody on the farm back home, I'm a great plucker.” Scott said.

Scott made fake crying noises which Zoey didn’t notice. He made louder fake crying noises when she didn’t notice again. Scott made even louder fake crying noises which Zoey finally noticed. “Scott, are you okay?” Zoey asked.

“Mm, I just feel horrible!” Scott cried.

“What do you mean?” Zoey asked.

“When I found out Dawn was the thief, I felt so betrayed! I feel like I can’t trust anyone on my team anymore! Or maybe I should have convinced them to let her stay? She was the only one who could talk to that big ape…” Scott cried.

“Aw, I know how it feels like to not be able to trust anyone. You did the right thing by voting Dawn after she stole everything, and as for the yeti, don't blame yourself. It'll all work out in the end, you'll see.” Zoey said as she hugged Scott.

“T-Thanks…” Scott sniffled.

Confessional: Zoey

“Poor Scott. Who knew he had a sensitive side? I always thought of him as tough and mean but I guess I was just being prejudiced.

Confessional: Scott

Scott was crying before he began to chuckle and burst into evil laughter before choking on a fly.

Cut to everyone arriving at a cliff with scaffolding on it where Sasquatch and Lindsay were at the top. “Guys! The yeti!” Cameron said as they arrived.

“Aw, it's okay, yeti. The world just can't handle beauty like yours. You're a snowflake! But just like, a lot bigger. Like, I mean, a lot.” Lindsay told Sasquatch.

“What's with all the scaffolding?” Scott asked.

“I was trying to turn Boney Island into my personal resort, but the wildlife here scared off all the workers I sent. Wusses.” Chris said.

“Don't hurt him! He just has big hairy body issues!” Lindsay said.

“Aw, I hear that. I mean, uh, did you hear that? He's got issues! We gotta take that psycho yeti out!” Jo said.

“I think Lindsay meant to say is-” Cameron tried to say but was interrupted.

“Shut it bubble brain! We need to beat him up!” Jo said.

“That is what Team Rat is going to do! Take this, hairball!” Brick said as he threw a DDB at Sasquatch which gave him baby clothes, making him gasp and everyone else laugh.

Confessional: Brick

“Fine. I'll stay away from fashion from now on. Happy?” Brick sniffled.

Sasquatch angrily jumped up and down, ripping off its clothes and making the scaffolding fall, turning the cliff into a Donkey Kong level. “Men, we'll make a three-prong play against the yeti. One player on the left, one on the right, and one straight down the middle.” Lightning told his team.

“What about Private Pudding?” Brick asked.

“Gamer boy? Ah, he's useless. Look at him. He's in his own little world.” Scott said as he pointed at Sam lying on the ground.

“Ugh, need game! Any game! Cool…” Sam chuckled as he saw that his hands were pixelated.

“Team Men, go!” Lightning said as they ran.

“How are we gonna rescue Lindsay before they do?” Zoey asked.

“Perhaps we could get someone prettier than Lindsay to lure the yeti away!” Cameron said.

“Oh, hey, I got the goods, but no way am I running up that junk pile in these shoes.” Anne Maria said.

“Well, I guess maybe I could try?” Zoey said before Jo shoved her into Mike.

“Maggots, break out the beauty products. I'm going in.” Jo said.

“Wait, what!?” Cameron, Zoey and Anne Maria said in shock.

“Well, we need someone strong too right? Just, do whatever you’re gonna do already!” Jo said.

Confessional: Jo

“I do this only for the good of the team. It's not makeup. It's war paint.” Jo said as she flicked her hair.

Cut to the Rats except Sam running up the scaffolding. “Yeah! Go, Team Man! Sha-bam!” Lightning cheered when Sasquatch threw barrels at them, causing them to fall.

Meanwhile, Sam looked to see the cliff and imagined it as Donkey Kong. “Wha...? Whoa. Video game world. My ultimate gamer dream come true! Still one life left. It's all on me now. Let's do this! It’s gamin' time!” Sam said as he ran while making sound effects.

“Wow. Soft Serve's bookin' it.” Scott said.

“Beep boop beep boop. Bloop! Bloop!” Sam made noises as Sasquatch rolled down some barrels.

“Sam, look out!” Dakota warned Sam as she came.

“Boop beep boop beep boop. Ha! Hyah! Beep boop beep hyah!” Sam made noises as he grabbed a hammer and began crushing the barrels.

“Look at him sha-go!” Lightning said.

Cut to Anne Maria and Zoey applying make-up to Jo while her back was turned to the camera. “Okay, you're sure this will make me look good? Right?” Jo said.

“Aw yeah, the only person who could give you a smoking hot makeup job like this is me.” Anne Maria replied.

“Or a circus clown.” Zoey said.

“Hurry, Sam's making good time! Aw, man, we're never gonna–” Mike said as he inhaled.

“Oh, for the love of Pete, you're not paintin' the Sistine Chapel, it's just makeup! Step aside! Dang fool kids. Just get some rouge on her and there! Done!” Chester complained as he shoved Anne Maria and Zoey after taking the brushes from them and applying make-up to Jo.

“Finally.” Jo said with her back turned to the camera.

“Ha.” Zoey said as everyone looked scared as Brick passed by.

“Aye aye aye!” Brick yelled and collapsed.

“Wow, now I know what they mean by drop-dead knockout. Oh, yeti! Your princess is here!” Jo said as she walked away, her make-up not being seen.

“Um, Jo? You should probably look–” Cameron tried to say but was interrupted.

“Relax, that poor yeti won't know what hit him.” Jo said.

“Whoa, what did you guys do to Jo?” Mike asked.

“Uh, what we did to Jo?” Zoey replied.

Cut to Sam walking up the cliff. “Ha ha. Bang. Bloop. Ugh, oh boy. Could really use a... power-up.” Sam mumbled as his stamina bar was shown to be 2 while he had one life left.

“Come on, Sam, you're almost there!” Brick cheered.

“Go get him, you crazy couch potato!” Lightning cheered.

“You can do it, Sam!” Dakota cheered.

“Ahhhh! Oof!” Sam yelled as he charged at the Sasquatch and was tossed off the cliff by it.

“Game over.” Brick said.

“Have I done all my lives?” Sam asked.

“Uh, hey, uh, sweet little... hairball. Feel like a tall glass of... gorgeous?” Jo asked as she reached the top and posed. She had horrifying make-up on.

“See? That's another what not to do.” Lindsay said as she and Sasquatch laughed.

“Hey. What's so funny, you big ape?” Jo angrily said as she threw Sasquatch off the cliff.

“Those were some pretty great moves up there.” Dakota told Sam.

“Thanks. People don't give us gamers much credit, but-- huh?” Sam said as Sasquatch landed next to him.

“That'll teach you to laugh at a beautiful lady!” Jo said.

“Team Maggot, you've got immunity.” Chris said.

“Yeah!” Mike, Anne Maria, Zoey, and Cameron cheered.

“Aw, come on!” Lightning complained.

“Lemme see that.” Jo said as she took the mirror from Lindsay and growled when she saw her make-up. “Just add some rouge, huh? Hey Chester, here's a makeover for you!” she angrily said as she began throwing barrels at Mike.

“Ah! What did I do? What did I do?! Someone help!” Mike yelled as he dodged the barrels.

“As much as I'd love to let this go on forever, it's time to head back to camp. Rats, you've got some voting to do.” Chris said.

Cut to the elimination. “Well, that was a complete fiasco.” Chris said.

“Soldier Boy, you bagged yourself a fashion fail!” Chef called out Brick who looked disappointed.

“And Couch Potato, you just totally dropped the barrel on this one!” Chef called out Sam who looked upset.

“So, one of the Rats is going home tonight. But, it's not gonna be Lightning or Scott. You're both safe.” Chris said as he tossed the two their marshmallows.

“Sha-sweet!” Lightning said as he caught it. Brick and Sam both looked nervous.

“Now then, the Toxic Marshmallow of Loserdom goes to…

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Sam!” he said as Chef tossed him a toxic marshmallow which he barely dodged.

“Aw… Well, looks like I'm out of continues. Sorry I couldn't have been more help to you guys.” Sam chuckled as he got up.

“Semper Fi!” Brick said as he got up and saluted.

“Sit down, fool!” Lightning said.

Sam saluted back before he was grabbed by Chef. “Ah!” Sam grunted as Chef took him away.

“Thank you, Chef. Now for something very special. Mutant Maggots, you're probably wondering why I asked you to sit in on this elimination ceremony. I'll need a strong volunteer from each team.” Chris said.

“Right here!” Jo said as she got up.

“Ditto!” Scott said as he got up.

“Pack your bags!” Chris said.

“You're hurling them too?” Zoey asked.

“Nah. I don't give people time to pack before they get hurled. These two are switching teams.” Chris said as they gasped. Scott and Jo switched places while grinning at each other.

“Hey, teammate?” Scott chuckled as he elbowed Zoey, making Mike look nervous.

“Hey Jo, welcome to my team.” Brick said as he extended his hand to her.

“No, welcome to my team.” Jo said as she grabbed Brick’s arm and crushed it.

“Agh!” Brick yelped back in pain.

“Aw yeah! Team Man remains one hundred percent dude! Ow!” Lightning said before Jo poked him in the eye.

“Get your eyes checked, jockstrap!” Jo angrily said.

Cut to Sam in the catapult. “Any last words before your ride to Loserdom?” Chris asked.

“Yeah, can I get all my handheld game systems back now?” Sam asked Chef who was playing with his GameGuy.

“We’ll mail them back to you later.” Chef said as Sam sighed.

“Sam, wait!” Dakota said as she came.

“Hey, you came to see me off!” Sam said.

“Aww, I'm gonna miss you. Here, call me, okay?” Dakota said as she gave him her number.

“I may have lost the game, but I won the heart of the girl of my--dreams!” Sam screamed as he was catapulted away.

“Oops. Who will be the next loser hurled? How much can we humiliate them first? And will Lightning ever learn the difference between guys and girls?” Chris said.

“What girl?” Lightning asked.

“Find out next time on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” Chris said.

Cut to Lindsay on Boney Island. “So, do you guys know where the boat is?” Lindsay asked some beavers as they growled at her.

VOTES

Confessional: Lightning

“Gamer Boy’s gone insane, he needs to go.” Lightning said as she showed a picture of Sam that had a lightning bolt drawn on it.

Confessional: Brick

“Sorry Sam, you’re too unfocused without your console thingy.” Brick said as he crossed out a picture of Sam.

Confessional: Scott

“Goodbye, sucker.” Scott said as he drew clown make-up on a picture of Sam.

Confessional: Sam

“I kind of feel like I fulfilled my purpose on this show so I guess I’m voting myself? I need to go back home so I can play on my consoles! Hey, at least I got booted 5th! That’s pretty good, right?” Sam said as he drew some consoles on a picture of himself.

BONUS CLIP

Sam’s Audition Tape

Sam was playing a game on his console at his living room. “Yeah, I've got a pretty strict morning routine. Warm up with a little GameBlob, then hit it hard with the Swii or the Twist. Yes! Got the Sorcerer's Medallion! And punched out the ninja overlord! Time for level 113-12! Man, looks like I’ll need the fire potion for this one! Thankfully I can buy it in the show with some Ruepps. All in a gamer day's work.” Sam said as he gamed when the power went out. “Aw, man. Blew a fuse again? That's cool.” he chuckled.

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island…” Chris began the recap. “we saw how clueless our players are when it comes to fashion. And how useless they are when it comes to rescues. In the end, Sam got the toss-a-roo, and Scott and Jo got tossed onto opposite teams. You call that buffing? I wanna see my ruggedly handsome face in every toenail! Who will thrive and who won't survive?” he continued as Dakota filed his toenails when a helicopter came.

“This is the Department of Environmental Protection! You're busted, McLean!” A voice from the helicopter came.

“Aw, man. Meddling tree huggers. Launch Operation: Doomsday. Repeat, Operation: Doomsday! Over! What is Operation: Doomsday, you ask? Find out right here, right now on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” Chris ended the recap.

(Theme song)

Cut to Brick lifting a log as Lightning watched. “Eleven, twelve, thirteen…” Brick counted as he lifted the log with two hands while laying on the ground.

“Let Lightning show you how it's done! Think the new guy can do this?” Lightning asked as he took the log from him and began lifting it with one hand.

“Who, Jo?” Brick asked.

“Duh, who else? The men of Team Dude are gonna be unbeatable! Sha-finally!” Lightning cheered as Brick looked concerned.

Confessional: Brick

“So, uh… Is anyone gonna tell him?” Brick said.

Confessional: Lightning

“Man, so far, out of 6 challenges we’ve only won 2! No team Lightning was on had this bad of a losing streak! But that changes today! I’m gonna carry us to victory! Sha-bam!” Lightning posed.

Confessional: Jo

“Hey, Chris McLame, guess what? You can make me swap teams, but you'll never break me. Now I get the girl's side of the cabin to myself. And I can finally work out like the ancient Olympians. Naked.” Jo said as she posed in a towel.

Cut to a bird looking in the girls side of the Rats cabin to puke when it saw what Jo was doing there which was not visible to the camera aside from her shadow. “882. 883. 884! 885!” Jo counted as she did jumping jacks.

Cut to some helicopter around the island while some interns dragged some bags as Brick looked confused when Jo came. “Hey, soggy drawers. Looks like we're on the same team again.” Jo said.

“Not quite. You're on my team now. And if you don't do as I say, you'll be the next person to go home.” Brick said.

“We'll see about that, Major Drippy.” Jo replied.

“Three rules! Follow them or you're gone. One. Never leave a man behind! Two, what Brick says, goes. And three, no more nicknames like Dampy Pants, Your Wetness, or Sir Leaks-a-Lot.” Brick said.

“Fine, fine, we'll play it your way, Captain Whiz.” Jo said as Brick growled. “Heh, sorry. Force of habit. All right, let's get this disgusting joke we call breakfast over with.” she said as they went into the Mess Hall where everyone else was.

“We can't! Chef's not here and neither is breakfast.” Cameron said.

“Sorry. Lightning needs meat. M-E... uh... E. Come on, we'll make our own breakfast.” Lightning said as they went in the kitchen.

“There's no food in the fridge!” Mike said as he looked in the freezer.

“Nothing in the cupboards either.” Zoey said as she looked in the cupboards.

“I can’t find anything on the shelves!” Cameron said as he looked at the shelves.

“We should check in the walk-in freezer!” Chef said from a window.

“Hey, yeah, the freezer!” Lightning said.

“Wait, was that-” Cameron tried to say but was interrupted.

“Shut it Bubble Lover, I need meat! Sha-bingo! Meat-cicle!” Lightning said as he went in the freezer alongside everyone else and began eating frozen meat when the door shut. “Hey!” he said.

“Challenge time, suckers!” Chef laughed as he opened a hatch and drove the freezer, which was actually a truck, away.

“This is highly unorthodox!” Cameron said.

“Ah! Too dark!” Brick yelped.

“Where are you taking us?” Zoey asked.

“You'll see. Ha ha!” Chef laughed as he shut the hatch.

Cut to everyone being dumped into the front of a mine by the truck. “Eh, not the worst wake up call I’ve had.” Scott said.

“Good. You're here. Finally. Today's challenge is to find a golden Chris statue in your team color hidden somewhere in this old abandoned mine. First team back wins!” Chris said from a monitor.

“Sha-done and done. Go Team Dude!” Lightning cheered.

“Are you sha-blind? I'm not a–” Jo grunted as she was hit by a backpack.

“Don't worry. There are enough packs for everyone!” Chef said as he gave them all backpacks.

“What'd you put in them, rocks?” Jo asked.

“Uh-buh-buh-buh-buh. No peeking. Those fifty-pound bags are purely for your torment and my amusement. Enjoy.” Chris said.

“Chemical badges? Why do we need to measure our exposure to toxic waste?” Cameron asked.

“No reason. Except that I rented the mine out to store hazardous material.” Chris said as they all gasped.

“Whoa. Whoa whoa, what the hell is this?” Anne Maria asked.

“Yeah, we could die from this!” Brick said.

“Are you demented, McLame!?” Jo asked.

“Yeah, you’re sha-crazy!” Lightning said.

“No. Which is why I'm in a studio right now.” Chris said as they all groaned. “Relax. It's perfectly safe. For thirty minutes. When your badge turns orange, you have fifteen minutes left. Red is your five minute warning and if you see a skull and crossbones, we'll dedicate this episode to you. But no way is it gonna come to that. I sent some interns down there for forty minutes, and they’re gonna be fine-ish.” Chris said.

“Are you really going to dedicate this episode to us if we die?” Cameron asked.

“No. Now move it, peeps!” Chris said.

“Can you at least give us a hint about where to find the statues?” Zoey said.

“Funny story. The statues have gone missing. Someone or something down there must've taken them.” Chris said.

“Uh, i-is it well-lit down there?” Brick asked.

“It's a mine, bro. Pitch black. All the way. There are flashlights and fireflies inside. First come, first served. Anywho, time's a-wasting and so are your healthy blood cells. So go!” Chris said as they ran in the mine.

Cut to Lightning, Jo and Brick arriving at the mine. “Yeah! Lightning comes in first! Sha-bang! Ahh!” Lightning yelled, causing some rocks to fall on them as the Maggots passed them.

“Ha! Enjoy the elimination ceremony!” Scott mocked.

“Ugh, now we’re falling behind!” Brick complained.

“Smooth move, Sha-Duh!” Jo mocked.

“We got the flashlights!” Cameron said as he got the flahlights as everyone went in the elevator, only for it the fall as they all screamed.

Cut to the Maggots at the bottom where it was pitch black. “Ugh, is everyone okay?” Zoey asked.

“I think so.” Mike said.

“My back!” Scott mumbled in pain.

“The flashlights!” Cameron said as he turned on a flashlight, revealing a tunnel.

“Look! A tunnel! Should we try it?” Zoey said as they heard a screeching noise.

“Looks good to me!” Mike said.

“Well, there’s no other place to go, so…” Cameron said as they went toward the tunnel.

Cut to the top of the cliff. “That elevator is not coming back up.” Jo said.

“I can't lose again! I can't!” Lightning panicked.

“I know! We'll shimmy down!” Brick said.

“Leaders first!” Jo told Brick as he hopped on the elevator line and gulped.

“Hup! Come on, let's go!” Brick said.

“Here! You'll need this!” Jo said as she tossed him the firefly jar.

“Hey, thanks!” Brick said as he caught the jar, accidentally letting go of the line, making him scream as he fell before holding back on, burning his kiwis as he landed safely. “Phew.” he sighed in relief before Lightning fell on him, making him drop the jar.

“Thanks for breaking our fall!” Jo said as she landed on the other side.

“No problem…” Brick mumbled.

“They’re out! Aw man. Nice going, butterfingers.” Lightning said as he noticed that he fireflies escaped the jar.

“Quick! We have to catch out light source!” Jo said as she and Lightning ran to chase the fireflies.

“Wait!” Brick yelped.

“Losers wait! Me and him gotta go! Try to catch up!” Lightning said as he and Jo ran toward a tunnel where the fireflies went, leaving Brick in the dark.

“Come back! I'm... I'm bigger than the dark. I'm better... than the dark. I... I'm lost and alone in the dark!” Brick screamed.

Confessional: Brick

“Man, with how many times I’ve been in the dark here, maybe I should just keep a flashlight on me at all times. Or maybe I could design some glowing army pants…” Brick thought.

Cut to the Maggots walking when they found a hat. “Oh, wow! I always wanted a hat like this.” Mike said as he held it.

“And I always wanted to die underground with a hat-loving loser. Guess we both win.” Scott said as Mike put on the hat, making him inhale.

“Mike? You okay?” Cameron asked.

“Vito? Baby, is that you?” Anne Maria said as she jumped in Mike’s arms.

“G'day Sheila. Name's Manitoba Smith.” Manitoba said as she dropped her.

“Ow!” Anne Maria yelped in pain as she hit the ground.

“Here, leave the torches to the men folk, beauty.” Manitoba said as he took the flashlight from Zoey.

“They talk like that in Manitoba?” Zoey asked Cameron.

“I don’t know, I don’t get out much. Bubby boy, remember?” Cameron said.

“Oh. By the way Cam, why did you have to be in a bubble anyway?” Zoey asked.

“Well, I was born with a rare disease which required me to stay inside in a plastic bubble so I could get better. Recently, it’s gotten better so my mom decided to sign me up on this show so I could see the outside world.” Cameron explained.

“Wow, sounds tough. Well, at least it’s nice that your condition is getting better. And I’m here if you ever need help from a friend.” Zoey said.

“Thanks Zoey. Manitoba, did you find anything?” Cameron asked.

“To the right, a tunnel carved out by giant rodent teeth.” Manitoba said as he sniffed some dirt.

“Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Rodent?” Anne Maria asked.

“To the left, mining cart tracks! We go left.” Manitoba said.

“I say we take the one on the right 'cause it's the right tunnel. Get it?” Scott said as everyone looked confused.

“Uh, that train of thought has no logic at all.” Cameron said.

“That’s not-nevermind.” Scott said.

“He's a sandwich short of a picnic, that one, eh?” Manitoba whispered to Cameron and Zoey as they went left.

Confessional: Scott

“Ugh, I want to throw the challenge but I don’t know if these people as well as the Rats. I shouldn’t make myself such a big target.” Scott thought.

Cut to Lightning and Jo running after some fireflies. “Get your shiny heinies back in this jar! Lightning, chase the fireflies to me and I'll catch them!” Jo told Lightning.

“Got it! All right, fireflies! Lightning's gonna-- ah, ah, ah! They're trying to bite me!” Lightning said as he ran into the butterflies.

“Gotcha! Lookin' good, Light Source.” Jo laughed as she captured the flies in a jar on Lightning’s head, upsetting him.

Confessional: Lightning

“That Jo guy may be disrespectful, but he’s pretty strong. With him on the team, we might finally sha-win! Sha-bam!” Lightning cheered.

Confessional: Jo

“That Lightning guy is dumb as a rock but also pretty strong. The perfect guy to manipulate into being my grunt.” Jo thought.

Cut to the Maggots finding some minecarts. “Ah, golly! These'll speed things up!” Manitoba said.

“No way! Too dangerous!” Scott said.

“If you're a girl, maybe.” Manitoba said.

“Um, what?” Zoey asked.

“Uh, excuse me?” Anne Maria said when her badge bleeped and turned orange.

“Anne Maria's badge is orange!” Cameron said.

“Oh my gosh. I only have like fifteen seconds to live or something!” Anne Maria gasped.

“It's fifteen minutes.” Cameron said.

“Oh well, that ain't so bad.” Anne Maria said as she filed her nails.

“Yikes! Shotgun, called it!” Cameron said as he saw his badge was orange jumped in the front.

“I'll keep the ladies safe in the back!” Scott said.

“I don't need you watchin' over me. Hey!” Anne Maria said as she was pulled by Scott onto the back while Zoey got on the back too as Manitoba got on the front.

“My first time riding the rails!” Cameron said.

“Yee-hoo!” Manitoba cheered as they rode down.

“I don't like it!” Cameron said.

Cut to Brick in the dark. “You can do, this Brick. Uh, a flashlight! Come on, work! Jo, you came back! Are you wearing perfume? I-It's strong, but it suits you. Come on, flashlight.” Brick said as he turned on the flashlight to see a giant mutant gopher as he screamed.

Cut to Jo and Lightning walking. “Good thing firefly bites aren't fatal. As far as we know.” Jo said.

“I hear you, dude.” Lightning said.

“I'm not a dude!” Jo said.

“Man, please. I can see you're a dude! Your badge, it's orange. You've only got fifteen minutes to live!” Lightning said as he saw that Jo’s badge was orange.

“Ah, well so do you!” Jo said as she saw that Lightning’s badge was orange too.

“No! This ain't right! Man, I never kissed a Super Bowl ring!” Lightning said.

“And I've never kissed a guy!” Jo said.

“Uh, yeah, it's cool, dude. Lightning don't judge.” Lightning said as Jo rolled her eyes.

Confessional: Jo

“I think rocks may be smarter than him.” Jo said.

Cut to the Maggots in the railway. “All right, lads and lasses, keep your eyes open and stick together!” Manitoba said.

“Easier said than done.” Cameron said as Manitoba noticed that the two karts were now on different tracks.

“Oops.” Zoey said.

“Crikeys! What did I just say?” Manitoba said as his and Cameron’s kart crashed while the others went ahead

“The track! I'm too young to die!” Zoey said as she saw that the track was broken.

“And I'm too hot!” Anne Maria said.

“And I’m too cool!” Scott said as they screamed while the minecart flew and crashed in the water.

Cut to Chris in the control room. “Looks like our players are doomed. Will any of them survive? I have my doubts. But find out for sure when we return with more Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” Chris said as the screen went to black.

Cut to Scott and Zoey emerging from under the water. “Peh!” Scott choked.

“Scott! Are you okay?” Zoey asked.

“I think, ugh.” Scott spat out water.

“Wait, where's Anne Maria?” Zoey asked when Anne Maria emerged from under Scott, showing that he was in her hair.

“Do I look like a lifeboat?!” Anne Maria said as she threw Scott away and tried to attack him but was held back by Zoey.

“I'm sure that it was an accident that Scott landed on you!” Zoey said.

“Yeah. An accident. I hope you both realize whose fault this is. The mine carts were Mike's idea.” Scott said.

“But he didn't just try to drown me!” Anne Maria said when she was tackled underwater by a shadowy figure.

“Ah!” Zoey and Scott yelped.

“Anne Maria! Scott, she's gone! What do we do?” Zoey asked.

“Get out of here before something drags us underwater.” Scott said.

“Shouldn’t we look for her?” Zoey said.

“We can find her later, we need to worry about our own lives first!” Scott said as they swam away.

Confessional: Scott

“Well, if we were going to get separated, it’s a good thing I got separated with Zoey. I need to make her distrust Mike more. I found some juicy information from Bubble Boy’s book when I stole it, but I’m waiting for the right time to use it.” Scott said.

Cut to Zoey and Scott walking. “So, do you know what that guy, Mike or whatever,’s deal is? He acted like an entirely different person when he wore that hat. This isn’t even the first time, I’ve seen him act like an old man and a tough guy before too.” Scott said.

“Oh, Mike’s a method actor. Those are just the different characters he acts as.” Zoey said. 

“Interesting. But, do you really think that’s the truth? Or is he hiding something?” Scott asked.

“What do you mean by that?” Zoey asked.

“Well, just, nevermind. Just something to think about.” Scott said as Zoey looked deep in thought.

Cut to Cameron and Mike. “Ow. Mike! Mike, wake up! Aw. I've heard about situations like this but it's so different in real life. Think. What would Jo do? Move it or lose it, bubble brain!” Cameron thought as he kicked Mike.

“Cameron?” Mike asked as he woke up.

“You're okay! Come on, we've got to find the others! We got separated!” Cameron said before some mutant gophers came from out of the ground, making them run away screaming.

Cut to Brick running away from a gopher before he hit a dead end. “Oh crap!” Brick said as the gopher came near him then sniffed his boots, making it recoil. “Huh? What? You don't like my boots? Do I need foot deodorant?” Brick asked before he got an idea and took off his boot, pointing it at the gopher as it ran away due to the smell. “What's the matter? Can't take smell of war? Ha ha!” Brick laughed as he chased it.

Cut to Anne Maria coughing as she woke up in a cave. “Where the heck am I? Stay back! You touch my pouf, I touch you!” Anne Maria angrily said as she saw some gophers approaching her before a shadowy figure on the throne snapped it’s fingers, making them away before he jumped off, revealing that it was Ezekiel.

“Yo, yo, yo homie! Welcome to the cave of the Zeke!” Ezekiel said.

“Oh, hey. Ain't you that creepy stowaway kid from last season? Zekiel or something? What are you doing with these things?” Anne Maria asked.

“That’s right, eh? I came here for vacation and trained these guys like dogs, but I didn’t expect that a hottie would drop in too!” Ezekiel winked.

“Ew!” Anne Maria said in disgust.

Cut to Jo and Lightning running. “Hey, what's taking Brick so long to catch up?” Lightning asked.

“I know your head is just for show, but haven't you noticed how large and in charge Brick's become? He doesn't need us. And he'll get rid of you the first chance he gets. In fact, he was talking to me about voting you off.” Jo said.

“Wait, what!? He’s planning to get rid of me? But I’m the sha-strongest!” Lightning said.

“I know, that’s why I’m planning on voting him off if we lose. If we both vote him off, we can get rid of him for good.” Jo said.

“So you wanna make some kind of guy's pact to vote him off?” Lightning asked.

“Yeah, sure. Let's make a "guy"'s pact.” Jo rolled her eyes as they took hands.

“Sweet! I have a good sha-feeling about this new partnership.” Lightning said as Jo smirked.

Confessional: Lightning

“Man, I can’t believe that soldier guy was planning to vote me off all this time! Good thing Jo came to her senses and realized that this team ain’t winning no challenges without my sexy abs!” Lightning said as he kissed his muscles.

Suddenly, Brick passed by chasing the maggot with his boots. “Ha! How do you like it when the boot's on the other foot, huh?” Brick said.

“Told you he's too big for his camos.” Jo said.

“Jo! Lightning! Oh, finally!” Brick said as he turned back.

“Soldier, where have you been?! You left your men behind!” Jo asked.

“I've been engaging the enemy with my secret weapon.” Brick said as he showed his boot.

“Ugh!” Jo said as she sniffed the boot and recoiled in disgust.

“Victory is ours!” Brick said when some gophers came from the ground and grabbed them. “Unless they do that.” he said as they screamed while they were pulled in.

Cut to Anne Maria in the cave where the gophers were giving her stuff. “Would you stop already? I don't want any of this junk.” Anne Maria said as the Gophers screamed. “Uh, heh heh. Not that I don't appreciate it, though.” she said.

“How bout this, eh?” Ezekiel said as he showed her a briefcase.

“Is that the briefcase that has the prize money?” Anne Maria asked.

“Yup! Pretty cool, eh?” Ezekiel said as he opened it, showing that it was empty.

“Wow. Thanks.” Anne Maria said, upset.

Cut to Mike walking while he carried Cameron. “First signs of chemical exposure are fever and nausea.” Cameron said and burped.

“I hope Zoey's okay. Thanks so much for coming back for me, buddy.” Mike said.

“Buddy? Really? Cool!” Cameron said.

Confessional: Cameron

“Living in a bubble my whole life, I didn’t really make many friends, so I’m glad Zoey and Mike are willing to let me be their friend despite my awkardness.” Cameron explained.

Suddenly, Cameron’s badge bleeped. “Oh no! My second buddy and we've only got five minutes to live!” he said.

“Cameron! Mike!” Zoey said as she came with Scott.

“Zoey!” Cameron said as he saw them.

“Thank goodness you're okay! But we lost Anne Maria.” Zoey said.

“We have to find her!” Mike said.

“We should dump these packs first, they're just slowing us down.” Scott said as he tried to take his pack off.

“Those packs of pain stay on until I tell you otherwise! Or your whole team is disqualified. Disqualified.” Chris said from the PA.

“Ha! I knew Chris was watching over us! He won't let us die down here!” Zoey said.

“Uh, don't count on it! I'm more of a watcher than a saver!” Chris said from the PA.

“Woohoo!” Anne Maria’s voice came from somewhere.

“That's Anne Maria!” Zoey said.

“Come on, this way!” Mike said as they ran toward it.

Cut to Anne Maria holding a diamond in the cave. “Whoo, yeah baby! Now that's more like it! Bada-bling!” Anne Maria said.

“Yup, that’s totes real, eh? Found it in the dump!” Ezekiel said.

“Congratulations, Helmet Head. Now get your freaky boyfriend to let us go.” Jo said as she, Lightning and Brick were being held by the gophers.

“Meh. I don't feel like it, eh?” Ezekiel said.

“Look, the statues!” Zoey said as she came with Cameron, Mike and Scott and saw the statues on Zeke’s throne.

“Oh well, we'll never get them now.” Scott said.

“Keep it down. Those mutant gophers look blind but they can probably still smell us.” Cameron said as the gophers saw them.

“Ah!” Zoey, Mike, Scott, and Cameron yelped as the gophers chased them.

“Oh, great. Here comes the competition.” Jo said.

“Good. We can use the distraction. Fire in the hole!” Brick

“How is that supposed to help us ?” Lightning said.

“Ugh. Way to help the enemy. Looks like it's up to me to get us down.” Jo said as she took the jar off Lightning’s head, making the fireflies fly around and distract the gophers, making them drop the trio.

“Finally sha-free!” Lightning said.

“Lightning! The statue!” Jo said.

“I'm on it! Sha-bam!” Lightning said as he jumped on a gopher to reach the throne and got the green statue as Zoey, Mike, Scott, and Cameron gasped.

“Yes! Rats, head for the mine carts! What goes in must come out.” Jo said as Lightning nodded before turning to see Ezekiel.

“What the-?” Lightning said in shock.

“Hey, those are mine, eh?” Ezekiel said before Lightning punched him, dropping the statue in the process.

“If you can hear this, congrats! You're not dead yet! Wherever you are, immediately discard your bombs! I mean, backpacks, and run!” Chris said from the PA.

“Bombs?! Too far, McLean! Too far!” Jo said as she and Brick took off their packs.

“Got it!” Mike said as he and Scott reached the throne and put their packs there as they got the red statue.

“Mike? We're not feeling so great.” Zoey said as she and Cameron looked tired before they saw a mutant gopher.

“Zoey! Here! Hang on, I'm coming!” Mike said as he gave the statue to Scott and went to help them.

“Whoops! Butter fingers!” Scott said as he threw away the statue, only for it to land on Anne Maria’s hair.

“Come on, sweetheart. Mama's gonna take you home. Ha ha!” Anne Maria said as she walked away with the diamond.

“Take that you homeschooled freak!” Lightning said as he choked Ezekiel.

“Mission accomplished. Move out!” Brick said as he got the green statue while Lightning kicked Ezekiel away.

Scott, Jo, Lightning and Anne Maria got on the karts. Brick was about to get in too before he saw Mike, Zoey and Cameron being attacked by the gopher.

“Brick? Brick! Forget those rejects, we have to go!” Jo said as Brick looked in thought.

“I can't hold on!” Mike said as he tried to hold the gopher back.

“Mike…” Zoey replied.

“There's, there's something I need to tell you, Zoey. I have–” Mike tried to say before Brick came and hit the gopher with the green statue, knocking it out. “Brick?!” he asked.

“Never leave a man behind.” Brick said as the statue he held was broken. Brick helped the trio in the karts and pushed the karts down before jumping in himself. Everyone but Brick, who looked confident, screamed as the track went town.

Cut to Chris and Chef outside in protective suits. “They're really cuttin' it close.” Chris said.

“Mm-hmm.” Chef said as the karts came out and crashed outside while everyone screamed as the red statue landed on Chris’s foot.

“Ow! And the Maggots win! Again!” Chris said as the Maggots weakly cheered.

“Are you serious?!” Jo said.

“Great.” Scott said.

“All clear?” Chris asked Chef.

“Yup, go for it man.” Chef said.

“Okay then. Executing Operation: Doomsday!” Chris said as he pressed a button on a remote, blowing the mine up as he and Chef high-fived.

“This wasn't about the statues.” Mike said.

“Sure it was. And as an added bonus, you just helped me seal off the toxic waste forever and get the feds off my back. It's win-win. For me.” Chris said.

“Well, that's low, McLean. Even for you.” Jo said.

“Yeah. I just keep getting better. Rats, hope you're hungry for marshmallows. But first, before there's permanent genetic damage…” Chris said.

“I’m gonna enjoy this.” Chef said as he sprayed the contestants with water, sending them backward as they screamed.

Cut to Cameron and Mike walking in front of the cabins. “Mike, um... do you have Dissociative Identity Disorder?” Cameron asked.

“What? Who told you that?!” Mike asked.

“Sixteen years in a bubble makes a guy pretty observant. I don't get why you're keeping it secret. But I think I can help you control it.” Cameron said.

“For real?” Mike said.

“Sure. But you have to help me with Scott. I don't trust that guy. You gave the statue to him and it somehow ended up in Anne Maria’s hair? Not to mention I’m pretty sure he’s the only one who could have been behind some of the losses. For example, he was the only one who could have hit the mirror in the ice challenge to tilt it, and since Jo’s gun was jammed, he was the only one who could have shooten that seagull at Sam.” Cameron explained.

“Oh, dude, this is huge! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Mike said as he hugged Cameron.

“Happy to help.” Cameron mumbled.

Meanwhile, Jo was sitting on the other side when Lightning came. “So, we agree to vote off that soldier boy, right?” Lightning said.

“Duh. I already said I was voting for him and now he cost us the challenge? He’s a goner in my book.” Jo said.

“Sha-sweet! I’m glad you realize that this team needs the Lightning’s power! See you sha-later!” Lightning said as he left when Brick came.

“So, uh, Jo. Are you willing to vote off Lightning today?” Brick asked.

“Well, you did cost us the challenge, but why not?” Jo said.

“Sweet, thanks. It’s sad that the three of us couldn’t make it to merge, but it is what it is.” Brick said as he left.

Confessional: Brick

“I know Jo said she’d vote for Lightning, but I’m not sure if she will. She values power over anything, and he’s probably the most physically gifted player left while I cost us this challenge. However, I’d much rather leave as an honorable cadet who followed his morals even if it cost him the war, than a dishonorable quitter who forgot their code.

Cut to the elimination. “The votes are in. Who will receive the Marshmallow of Loserdom and leave the game forever? The following players are safe.” Chris said as he began tossing the marshmallows.

“Jo.” he said as he threw her a marshmallow.

“Yes!” Jo cheered as she caught her marshmallow.

“And... Lightning.” Chris said as he threw him a marshmallow.

“Yes! Sha–” Lightning said as he choked on his marshmallow.

“Brick. Looks like your tour of duty has come to an end. Dismissed!” Chris said as Brick looked shocked and dodged the toxic marshmallow.

“Wha! But I was large and in charge.” Brick said.

“Yeah, saving the enemy. Sha-traitor.” Lightning said.

“So long, Soggy McGee.” Jo said.

Confessional: Jo

“Between Brickhead and Jockstrap, the choice was obvious. I’d much rather keep the stronger and dumber one so I have an easy to manipulate ally. This game is mine. Still, for some reason, it’s sad to see General Sourpuss go. I thought he’d last longer.” Jo thought.

Cut to Brick in the catapult. “Any last words, cadet?” Chris asked.

“Brick, wait!” Zoey said as she came with Cameron and Mike. The three of them saluted as Brick saluted back before he was catapulted away.

“One side! I've got a jeweler to see and a bank account to open! I don't need this stupid show anymore. Look at this thing, I'm rich!” Anne Maria said as she came.

“Uh, that’s cubic zirconia. Practically worthless.” Cameron said.

“What? It's not... a real diamond?” Anne Maria asked.

“Nope. Lamest mine ever. Why do you think I dumped all that waste in there?” Chris said.

“Ugh, when I see that Freakzekiel kid next time, he’s gonna pay!” Anne Maria said as she tossed the fake diamond at the ground, shattering it.

“Join us next time for more danger, treachery, and backstabbing on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” Chris said as the episode ended.

VOTES

Confessional: Jo

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but… I’m kind of going to miss him?” Jo said as crossed out a picture of Brick.

Confessional: Lightning

“Sorry army dude, you should know better than to lose a challenge.” Lightning said as she showed a picture of Brick that had a lightning bolt drawn on it.

Confessional: Brick

“Sorry Lightning, but Jo could be a useful ally in the merge.” Brick said as he crossed out a picture of Lightning.

BONUS CLIP

Brick’s Audition Tape

Brick entered a room. “Private Brick McArthur reporting for duty! Permission to explain why I would be a valuable asset to Total Drama, sir! As a military cadet, I have the advantage of razor sharp senses from years of training. I won multiple badges and awards during all my time of training. I also have a pretty good sense of fashion, I think? I can take anything you can throw at me! I’m not afraid of anything, especially not the d-dark. And believe me when I say nothing gets past me. I mean nothing. Well, that’s all. Dismissed!” Brick said as he didn’t notice the camera tilting down and walked out the room while forgetting to end the tape.

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island…” Chris begun the recap. “the players went on an impromptu environmental coverup-- er, cleanup challenge, and tried not to get a toxic makeover like Dakota. Mike introduced us to Manitoba Smith, his most rugged and arrogant persona yet. Freak-zekiel had slightly more luck with the ladies than human-zekiel. And Brick overcame his fear of the dark to heroically save his former team, which made his current team give him the old heave-ho! Makes you wanna reflect, don't it? Maybe with a cup of Chris McLean Instant Coffee. Bitter-- better! Better than the rest! Who will survive? Who will wish they didn't? Find out right now on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” he ended the recap.

(Theme song)

Cut to the two teams sleeping on rafts with their team banners on it. “Ah!” The Maggots yelped as they woke up.

“What? Where are we?” Mike asked.

“No! Chris must've set us adrift after we went to sleep!” Zoey said.

“Yeah. Wait, I don't remember anything after dinner.” Scott said.

“Dinner! That's it!” Cameron said.

(Flashback) Chef put a piece of slop on Cameron’s plate. “Ew! What is this?” Cameron asked.

“Turkey Buttalini. Enjoy your nap! Uh... meal.” Chef chuckled.

“Turkey makes you sleepy. So mutant turkey must've knocked us out cold! Genius!” Cameron said.

“Ugh, did they really have to drug us?” Mike asked.

“Knowing Chris, he probably just did it because he could.” Zoey said.

“Eh, as long as there aren’t any sharks here, I’m fine with it.” Scott shrugged when he saw Fang’s fin in the water.

Confessional: Scott

“Me and my big mouth!” Scott said in fear.

“Lightning wins the Super Bowl! Yeah!” Lightning mumbled while sleeping on the Rats raft.

“Wakey, wakey, Muscle Mouth!” Jo said as she shoved him off the raft.

“Whoa! What? Wha...? Where'd the cabin go?” Lightning asked.

“Relax, musclebrain. They drugged us and brought us here for the challenge.” Jo said.

“Challenge? What challenge? Whatever it is, Lightning’s gonna dominate it!” Lightning said as Jo facepalmed.

Confessional: Jo

“I know he’s a useful ally and all, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to deal with all this idiocy.” Jo said.

“Great. Now we're gonna be some stupid shark's dinner.” Scott said as he saw Fang swimming.

“ Ah, don't worry. He'll never find us in the middle of all this junk. Hey, sweet hat!” Mike said as he found a hat and put it on, making him inhale.

“Oo-wee, g'day, Sheila. Aren't you the ridgy-didge?” Manitoba told Zoey and chuckled before Cameron shoved her in the water and took the hat off Mike, making him inhale.

“Deep breath, Mike.” Cameron said.

“Thanks, buddy.” Mike said.

“Hey!” Zoey angrily said.

“Sorry! Heh, I-I tripped. Heh heh.” Cameron chuckled nervously.

Confessional: Cameron

“Mike and I have a deal. I help him stay Mike so he can win Zoey over and he helps me to convince her to turf Scott.” Cameron explained.

(Flashback) “I've already decoded Mike's personality triggers. Whenever he loses his shirt, Vito comes out.” Cameron voiced over as Mike entered a stall and took his robe off, making him inhale.

“Put ya hands up! Put ya, put ya hands up!” Vito sang in the shower.

(Flashback) “In an acrobatically challenging environment, he becomes Svetlana.” Cameron voiced over as Mike was in front of a giant cockroach that threw stuff when he inhaled, becoming Svetalan and jumped over all the stuff.

(Flashback) “When he gets frustrated, Chester appears.” Cameron voiced over as Mike stubbed his toe on a rock and inhaled. “Dang fool kids, leaving rocks every which-wheres! Ugh! Dagnabbit!” Chester screamed as he kicked the rock, stubbing his toe again.

“And we just saw Manitoba Smith in his fedora. ou being Mike the best.” Zoey said as Mike pulled her up.

“What? You do?” Mike said.But I still don't know how to consistently bring Mike back. This would be so much easier if I could just dissect his brain.” Cameron said.

“You know, out of all your characters, I like y

“Sure. But you make it so hard to get to know you. The way you're always playing characters, it feels like you're hiding from me.” Zoey said.

“We're not! I mean, I'm not! Heh.” Mike said.

“Chris is so gonna pay for this! I haven’t even applied my morning sprays yet!” Anne Maria said.

“Is that really necessary?” Zoey asked.

“It’s more necessary than ya think.” Anne Maria said as she began spraying hairspray while Zoey choked.

Confessional: Anne Maria

“I need to apply two entire cans of hairspray and three tan cans to look perfect. Any more or any less just ruins my looks.” Anne Maria said.

“Morning, suckers! How'd you enjoy your Turkey Buttalini?” Chris said as he and Chef came with jet-skis.

“You could have just told us to come here for a challenge, what was the point of drugging us?” Cameron asked.

“It was for my amusement. Today's challenge is all about winning the ultimate reward! Life itself! Your first challenge is to race to the shore by any means possible. First team there wins a handy reward. Last team gets a heinous penalty before you embark on a quest for buried treasure!

“First sealing a mine, and now you're using us to dig up treasure? Weak.” Scott said.

“There was treasure here once, but I found it years ago. How do you think I bought the island?” Chris said.

“Must have been a fake one like that one knockoff diamond that homeschooled bozo gave me.” Anne Maria said.

“Very funny. Now get rowing!” Chris said as he and Chef left.

“Okay, Protein Powderpuff. Get rowing.” Jo told Lightning as she gave him the sign.

“Who made you the boss?” Lightning asked.

“Hey, if you don't wanna be captain of our rowing team…” Jo said.

“Lightning is captain on every team! Let's do this!” Lightning he said as he began rowing while Jo smirked.

“We gotta do what the Rats are doing!” Mike said as the Maggots ripped out the sign.

“Who’s rowing?” Cameron asked.

“Don’t look at me, I’m busy.” Anne Maria said as she applied hairspray.

“I guess I’ll do it.” Zoey said as she began rowing.

Confessional: Zoey

“I don’t think I’ve been too helpful in challenges for the past few ones, so I want to change that. Maybe if I win us this challenge, I’ll be a fan favorite!” Zoey thought.

“We gotta get some distance from that freak show! Come on, stroke, stroke, stroke!” Jo said as Lightning rowed.

“Come on Red, we’re fallin' behind!” Anne Maria said.

“Hey, I’m trying my best here!” Zoey said.

“Aw, man, we're toast!” Mike said.

“Wait, I have an idea! If we want to catch up, we'll have to get in the water and kick.” Cameron said as he jumped in the water.

“No way! Remember the shark? Ah! Hey…” Scott grunted as he was shoved in by Mike who jumped after him.

“The faster we get to shore, the faster you're out of the water.” Mike said.

“Fine. You too, hairspray woman.” Scott said.

“Hold on, I still need to finish 3 more cans.” Anne Maria said as she applied hairspray while Scott rolled his eyes and began pushing the raft with Cameron and Mike as Zoey rowed.

Confessional: Scott

“I guess no matter what team you’re on, there’s always going to be that one useless weak link.” Scott said.

“Double time, dude. They're gaining!” Lightning said as he rowed when they hit a giant squid with tentacles.

“Ah, crap.” Jo said.

Confessional: Cameron

“Remarkable! All the toxic waste in the water has caused some kind of evolving mutation to the squid, causing it to become 20 times its size. I’ve never seen a mutant this impressive before! Hello, cover story for Bubble Theory magazine!” Cameron said.

Chef and Chris came in a helicopter. “Aw. It's playing with them.” Chris laughed as the squid held Jo and Lightning with its tentacles.

“I won't be some calamari's dinner!” Jo said as she hit Lightning with the banner.

“You're hitting the Lightning! Bro! Stop!” Lightning yelled.

“Giant squid dead ahead!” Zoey said as she saw the squid while the Maggots raft passed by.

“Shh, keep quiet. Maybe we can sneak by it.” Mike said when Fang came and tried to bite Scott, scaring him into jumping on the raft.

“Ah! Shark! Shark! Shark, shark!” Scott yelled as he ran in circles on the raft.

“Oh, for the love of–” Mike said and then inhaled.

“Dagnabbit, that punk's gonna get us killed!” Chester said.

Fang jumped on the raft, scaring Scott. Scott hid behind Anne Maria as Fang tried to bite him and accidentally ended up knocking Anne Maria’s can off her hand. “Oh, you really asked for this!” Anne Maria angrily said as she punched Fang away, launching it into the squid’s eye and making it drop Lightning and Jo in the water.

“Ugh, looks like we’ll need to swim.” Jo said.

“Let's go! Kick, Meat Locker! Kick!” Lightning said as they swam away.

“Anne Maria, that was amazing! You saved us!” Zoey said.

“I guess I did. Now you owe me big time.” Anne Maria said as she began applying hair spray again, making Zoey choke.

“Uh, sure.” Zoey said as she choked.

Confessional: Zoey

“ I swear normal hairspray isn't this unbreathable.” Zoey said as she choked.

“Aw, ain't this sweet. But what are we gonna do about that?” Chester said and pointed at the squid looking at them angrily with a black eye.

“Ah!” Zoey yelped in fear.

“Aw, man. We'll never make it to shore. Wait, that's it. Get as far back as you can! Hey, Jelly Brain! I bet you couldn't smash me if you tried!” Cameron taunted the squid, pissing it off.

“Cam, no!” Zoey said.

“It's gonna kill us!” Scott said as they screamed as the squid lowered its tentacle when the video paused.

“Will Cameron's brain outsmart the squid's brawn? Find out after the break!” Chris said as the screen faded to black.

Cut to the squid hitting the raft when Cameron dodged its tentacle. “Ah!” Cameron grunted as the raft tilted and the Maggots were launched onto the shore as Jo and Lightning swam.

“What the!?” Lightning said.

“Oh come on!” Jo complained.

Meanwhile, the Maggots mumbled in pain on the shore. “Hey! We're in first place!” Zoey realized.

“Yay!” Cameron mumbled.

“How am I supposed to vote off my teammates if we never lose?” Scott mumbled.

“Are you guys alright? Chris made me come here to see who arrived first.” Dakota asked as she came.

“I think? Thanks for checking on us.” Zoey said.

“Do you know where Chris is? I’m gonna make him pay!” Anne Maria said.

“Calm down, violence won't solve this. Besides, we won!” Zoey said when Chris came with the helicopter.

“And because you won, you get these!” Chris said as he tossed Cameron a map and a compass.

“A map and compass? Sweet.” Cameron said.

“Well, look what just washed up.” Chris said as the Rats arrived.

“I told you to kick harder!” Jo said.

“And I told you you're not the boss of me.” Lightning said.

“Put a sport sock in it! Now, the second part of today's challenge started off as a practical joke involving classic Total Drama competitor Gwen. But it's turned into more of a rescue mission.” Chris said as a monitor showed Gwen underground.

“What the? Oh no. I'm buried alive? Again?! Chriiiii–” Gwen yelled.

“Burying someone alive is seriously dangerous. Even by your standards.” Mike said.

“That's why we're using the buddy system. And instead of letting last year's losers have all the fun, we brought in one of this year's duds.” Chris said.

“Chriiiiii–” Gwen yelled as Sam was shown sleeping next to her.

“Sam! Sam’s here! Wait, why is he there? We need to get him out!” Dakota said.

“Guy ate a whole pot of Chef's buttalini, so he didn't put up much of a fight.” Chris chuckled.

“Ugh, I’ve had enough of your crap! I’m going to save Sam!” Dakota said.

“Wait, you still have work you need to do!” Chris said.

“Eat dirt, McLean! Sam, I’m coming!” Dakota said as she ran away.

“Ugh, whatever. Maggots! You've got your compass and your map to the general vicinity of the chest at the northern tip of the island. Now go!” Chris said as the Maggots ran away. The Rats tried to follow them but were stopped by Chris and Chef getting out of the helicopter. “A-tut-tut! Not so fast! To the losers go the penalty belts. Chef, lock 'em in.” he said.

“Enjoy your fresh prison-like experience!” Chef said as he put some handcuff belts on Jo and Lightning.

“These must weigh a hundred pounds!” Lightning said.

“120 to be precise.” Chef said as he put a metal detector on Lightning’s back.

“A metal detector? How is that gonna help us find a wooden chest?” Jo asked.

“It's not. Now go! Go, go, go, go, go!” Chris said as they ran away.

Cut to Gwen in the coffin. “Ah, where's my...? Ugh! Lousy Chris and his stupid game on his crummy show.” Gwen mumbled as she called Chris.

“Hello?” Chris said from the phone.

“You've gone too far this time, McLean! You can't–” Gwen said and then began coughing.

“Are you sick or something?” Chris asked.

“Oh I don’t know, maybe it’s because this coffin doesn't have enough air for one person, let alone two! I can't breathe.” Gwen said as she passed out.

“Eh. I'm sure she's fine.” Chris said as he ended the call.

Cut to the Maggots arriving at a swamp. “Great!” Zoey said.

“Ahh... smells like home.” Scott sighed in relief as he sniffed the air.

“There's a path around the swamp, but it'll take too long.” Mike said.

“Well, through the swamp it is.” Cameron said.

“Jo and Lightning don't know that. But I'll make sure they do.” Scott chuckled to himself as he drew an arrow pointing to the swamp with his shoe as Mike, Cameron and Anne Maria went in. Zoey was going to follow them before Scott stopped her.

“Zoey, if I tell you something, do you promise to keep it a secret?” Scott asked.

“Of course. What is it? The invincibility statue.” Zoey gasped as Scott showed her the invincibility statue.

“I still can't believe I found it.” Scott said.

“I-I'm honored that you trust me enough to tell me.” Zoey said.

“I hope you feel the same way about me. A-At least you know I'm not hiding anything. Unlike Mike. Remember what I said yesterday?” Scott asked.

“I know. He's so secretive. And now Cameron's acting all weird too.” Zoey said.

“Guess I'm the only person you can trust.” Scott said as he left while Zoey looked nervous.

Confessional: Scott

“That was just a fake idol I whittled to get Zoey to trust me more. Hey, sometimes faking is the best way of manipulating.” Scott smirked as he whittled a stick.

Cut to Lightning and Jo arriving at the swamp. “Aw, man. That smell is rank!” Lightning said.

“Look! An arrow pointing into the swamp! This must be the way!” Jo said as she saw the arrow Scott drew.

“Dude, no way am I going into that stink.” Lightning said.

“I'll tell you what. Whoever finds the treasure gets the official rank of team captain!” Jo said as she ran in the swamp.

“Now that's a rank I can live with!” Lightning said as she chased after her.

Cut to Cameron, Mike and Zoey walking through the swamp. “Honestly, Zoey. There's something about Scott I don't trust.” Mike said.

“He'd sell his own mother to get ahead.” Cameron said.

“Why are you being so harsh to him for no reason? I talked to him way more than you and I happen to know he has a heart, 'kay? Don't be so quick to–” Zoey tried to say before she noticed she was stepping on an alligator while it tossed her off its back while the three screamed.

“We can hide in that tree!” Cameron said as they tried to climb a tree.

“Sorry did you say something?” Anne Maria asked as she applied hairspray from a few miles away.

"Ah! Hurry, it's coming!” Zoey said as she and Mike tried to climb a vine while Cameron and Scott climbed on a branch.

“I'm trying!” Mike said and then inhaled.

“Und failing! Leave this to Svetlana! Hoo-wah! Ha! Perfect form.” Svetlana said as she jumped and landed in a branch on the opposite side.

“Ah! Mike, help!” Zoey yelped as the alligator neared her while she tried to climb the vine, making Mike inhale.

“Zoey!” Mike yelled.

Confessional: Cameron

“Of course! Whenever Zoey's in danger, Mike returns! Not that I would put her in peril just to make that happen. Except maybe as a last resort. Heh heh heh.” Cameron chuckled nervously.

“I got this. Zoey! Here, take my hand!” Scott said as he extended his hand to Zoey, helping her up to the branch.

“Phew, thanks Scott.” Zoey said.

“Told you that you could trust me.” Scott smirked as Mike sighed.

Confessional: Mike

“I don't know what's worse. The giant mutants or the fact that Zoey has more reason to trust Scott more than me. Ugh, none of this would be happening if I could tell her the truth!” Mike sighed.

“Wait, Anne Maria’s still there!” Cameron said as he saw Anne Maria applying hairspray. The alligator attacked her with its tail, knocking the hairspray out of her hand.

“Ah! Oh yeah? You want a piece of this, you overgrown lizard?” Anne Maria angrily said as she began attacking the alligator.

“C'mon! Gwen and Sam don't have much air left!” Mike said as they jumped off the tree.

“What about Anne Maria? Shouldn't we help her?” Cameron asked.

“I think we'd just be in the way.” Scott said as he pointed at Anne Maria beating up the alligator.

“Oh yeah, you want more? That’s what you get for messin' with my hair!” Anne Maria said as she beat the alligator up.

“The map! It's ruined! I-Is the compass okay?” Zoey asked as she noticed the map she had was wet.

“It's gone!” Mike said as he saw that the compass wasn’t in his pocket.

“Way to go. Now we'll never find them.” Scott said.

Confessional: Scott

“Gotcha. Now to find out the deal with Mike and Bubble Boy. Zoey's right. Those two are hiding something. I’m pretty sure it has to do with what I found in the nerd’s book.” Scott said.

“Man! That girl's owning that gator! Not that I couldn't do the same.” Lightning said as he and Jo came from behind a tree to see Anne Maria beating up the alligator.

“Oh really? Well, here's your chance.” Jo said as she walked away while Lightning turned to see two alligators growling at him.

“Uh... sha-friends?” Lightning asked as he was attacked.

Confessional: Lightning

“Pfft, I wasn’t scared of those lame-o crocs. I’m way sha-stronger than them anyway!” Lightning said while bruised and collapsed.

“Thanks for losing the compass, Mike. Now we're guaranteed to come in last!” Scott told Mike.

“Not necessarily. Moss grows on the northern side of trees and Chris said our goal is to the north, so we need to go that way.” Cameron said and pointed to some thorny bushes.

“Ugh, a thorn bush forest. No way can we go in there.” Zoey said as Anne Maria threw the alligator away, causing it to hit the bushes and clear a path as the trio cheered.

“Fantastic. Look! This clearing, it's just like the one on the map! Come on!” Scott said as they went through it. Mike’s shirt ended up getting stuck in a bush and pulled up as he inhaled.

“Anne Maria, where you at, baby?” Vito asked as Zoey heard this and looked upset before Cameron pulled down Mike’s shirt.

“Uh... Oh, Mike! I know you wanna practice your impressions, but now's not the time. Ah, actors. Heh.” Cameron said as Zoey looked suspicious and went ahead.

Confessional: Zoey

“Scott’s right. Mike and Cameron are clearly hiding stuff from me while he doesn’t have a problem telling me that he has an idol. I want to trust those two but they’re really not making it easy.” Zoey said.

“It's too much, Mike. I can't keep this up. You have to tell Zoey the truth.” Cameron said.

“I will. I swear. Please, just give me a little more time. Say, ten years?” Mike replied.

“Over here! I think I hear them!” Scott said as he began digging in a random place.

“Really?” Zoey asked as she dug with him.

“Would I lie to you?” Scott replied.

“Maybe I shouldn't have left jockstrap behind. How am I gonna find that chest now?” Jo said as she came.

“Told you! Those things totally gave up after I lost most of my sha-blood! MVP!” Lightning said as he came while bruised and collapsed when the detector on his back began beeping next to a rock. Jo looked under it to see some stuff that wasn’t shown to the camera.

“Oh, look at what we have here.” Jo said and took something that wasn’t shown and put it in her pocket. “And two keys? The small one must be for the cuffs!” she said as she took two keys from under the rock.

Cut to Jo opening her cuffs and beginning to dig when she hit something. “This one's old. Like treasure chest old!” Jo said.

“Somebody let me out of here!” Gwen’s noise came.

“Winner's circle, here I come!” Jo said as she took out the other key.

“Hurry! Jo and Lightning are here! How deep did Chris bury them?” Cameron asked as the Maggots continued digging where they were.

“Help! Get me outta here!” Gwen yelled in the coffin as Jo unlocked it.

“Yes! I win, I’m the best!” Jo cheered.

“And the Rats win! For a change.” Chris said as he came with a helicopter, making the Maggots gasp.

“What? Thought you heard them right here, huh?” Mike angrily told Scott as he looked nervous.

“Sam! Are you okay?” Dakota asked as she came and looked in the coffin.

“Dakota?” Sam mumbled as he got out the coffin.

“Thank goodness you’re okay! I missed you so much!” Dakota said as she hugged him.

Confessional: Sam

“Whoa. Reunited with the girl of my dreams after a meal of turkey buffalino? This day just keeps getting better and better!” Sam said.

Cut to Sam and Dakota walking in front of the cabins while holding hands and giggling as the Maggots followed them. “We have to get rid of the biggest threat to our team. So Cameron and I are voting for Scott. You?” Cameron asked Zoey.

“I haven't decided yet.” Zoey replied.

“Well, I know you'll make the right choice.” Cameron replied as he left.

Confessional: Zoey

“Cameron and Mike keep telling me not to trust Scott, but is there any reason not to? He’s been nothing but kind and trustworthy to me since he swapped.” Zoey said.

Confessional: Mike

“I know Cam wants me to get rid of Scott, but I dunno. My alters are still uncontrollable and are messing things up with Zoey. I don’t think she’d ever trust me again if Vito came out at the worst time possible and kissed Anne Maria again.” Mike said.

Cut to the elimination where Dakota and Sam were also sitting with the others. “Sam, do you still like me?” Dakota asked.

“Of course I do! And the way you tried so hard to rescue me today like an action hero made me like you even more! You’re the most awesome girl I’ve ever known!” Sam said as Dakota chuckled as they began kissing.

“Ew!” Scott, Zoey, Cameron, and Mike said in disgust.

“Let’s begin with the callouts. Helmet Hair! You wasted time spraying your hair!” Chef called out Anne Maria who rolled her eyes.

“Please, you can’t blame me for wanting to keep my looks perfect.” Anne Maria said.

“Nerdette! You got your team attacked by a killer croc!” Chef called out Zoey who looked nervous.

“Finally, Dirt Boy! You cost your team the game by making them dig at the wrong place!” Chef called out Scott who looked confident.

“Okay, players. The votes are tallied.” Chris said and began tossing the marshmallows.

“Cameron.” he said as he tossed him a marshmallow.

“Mike.” he said as he tossed him a marshmallow.

“and Zoey.” he said as he tossed her a marshmallow. Scott and Anne Maria both glared at each other.

“And the marshmallow of toxic loserdom goes to...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Anne Maria.” he said as Chef tossed her the toxic marshmallow which she dodged.

“Wait, what!?” Cameron said in shock.

“Hah! Enjoy your catapult ride!” Scott chuckled.

“Ugh, whateva. Not like I need this stupid show anyway. At least I didn’t quit due to a fake diamond.” Anne Maria said as she left.

“Mike, what happened?” Cameron whispered to Mike.

“I’m sorry but I still can’t get a hold of my personalities. I voted her off so Vito couldn’t cause any more problems.” Mike replied.

“What!? You didn’t vote off Scott just for that? Look, Mike, I get that it’s hard, but just tell her already! I’m sure she’d understand!” Cameron said.

“I know, I know but it’s just… I don’t want her to see me as a freak like everyone else does.” Mike said, upset.

“Alright but, just… please think about what I said? I’m sure Zoey wouldn’t care, I’m sure she’ll like you no matter what.” Cameron said.

“It’s hard to think that when everyone around me avoids me due to my personalities.” Mike said as Cameron looked in sympathy.

Cut to Anne Maria in the catapult. “Ready to fly, Anne Maria?” Chris asked.

“Ugh, screw you!” Anne Maria said as she sprayed the hairspray on his face, making him choke.

“Step over please, we need room for two more!” Dakota said as she and Sam got on.

“Dakota!? What do you think you’re doing?” Chris said.

“I’m quitting, duh. I’ve had enough of your torment McLean! I just wanna be with my Sammy-poo now.” Dakota said as she and Sam kissed.

“Ugh, disgusting! But whatever, it’s your choice.” Chris said as he catapulted the three away. “Nice! Three for the price of one!” he chuckled.

Cut to everyone entering the cabins at night when Scott stopped Cameron. “Mike says he's real grateful you're helping him with his personalities.” Scott told him.

“Personalities? He told you about his Dissociative Identity Disorder?” Cameron asked.

“Nope, but you just did.” Scott chuckled as Cameron face palmed. “Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I knew this since I stole your book. Just wanted to tease you a bit.” he said.

“Wait, you were the one who stole everything? So Dawn was innocent and you pinned it on her all along?” Cameron asked.

“Yup. But you’ll stay quiet about it if you know what’s best for you and your "pal".” Scott said as he went in while Cameron gulped.

Cut to Chris in the security room. “Well that was sure something. Come back for even more painful awesomeness next time on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” he said as the episode ended.

VOTES

Confessional: Scott

“She’s just annoying, and showed herself to be pretty strong. Zoey and Mike are probably voting for her after all the manipulation I did anyway. Man, I impress myself more every passing day.” Scott chuckled as she showed a picture of Anne Maria that had an evil grin drawn on it.

Confessional: Cameron

“I don’t trust you, plain and simple.” Cameron said as he showed a crossed out picture of Scott.

Confessional: Zoey

“She’s the only one I’m not friends with.” Zoey said, crossing out a picture of Anne Maria.

Confessional: Mike

“Sorry Cam, but I can’t mess things up with Zoey even more.” Mike said as he showed a crossed out picture of Anne Maria.

Confessional: Anne Maria

“That guy is stinky to the max!” Anne Maria said and crossed out a picture of Scott.

BONUS CLIP

Anne Maria’s Audition Tape

Anne Maria was recording herself in her room. “Hi. I'm Anne Maria. And I am so going to win this show. Okay? I never really watched Total Drama Rama whatever, until my girlfriends made me sit through one of those singing episodes of that one World Tour thingy, and right away, I knew the show needed me. Check it. You need me like I need a tan!” Anne Maria sang so badly she broke the camera lens.

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island…” Chris began the recap. “our players went on a hunt for buried treasure. AKA, Gwen and Sam. Cameron tried to hide Mike's multiple personalities from Zoey, but spilled the beans to Scott. Way to keep a secret, Bubble Boy. And after Scott’s manipulation, Anne Maria got the Hurl of Shame! Oh, and Dakota quit I guess. Adios! Who will be the next hurl? How will we injure them beforehand? Find out the answer to these questions and more right now, right here. On Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” he ended the recap.

(Theme song)

Cut to a bird chirping in a tree before a tentacle punched it when Chris sounded an alarm on top of the Maggots cabin. “Good morning, campers! Today, we have a very special treat!” Chris said as everyone got out of the cabins.

“Fantasy football?” Lightning gasped.

“Workout equipment?” Jo gasped.

“The newest issue of Bubble Theory magazine?” Cameron gasped.

“Espressos?” Zoey gasped.

“Chicken nuggets?” Mike gasped.

“Helicopter bear hunt?” Scott asked.

“Nope. First things first, if any of you are still trying to find that McLean brand invincibility sculpture I hid at the beginning of the season, you can stop now. Somebody's already found it. Second, it's merge day! No more Team Rat, no more Team Maggot. From now on, it's every man, woman, and Cameron, for himself.” Chris explained.

“Hey!” Cameron complained.

Confessional: Jo

“The merge. Finally. All that "team" hooey was really chafing my butt. Lightning's been pretty useful, though. I might keep him around a while longer. Just to intimidate the others.” Jo thought.

Confessional: Cameron

“Who knew a weak bubble boy like me could make it to the merge! Now that I made it this far, I actually think I have a shot! I mean, it’s not like they have any reason to vote me out.” Cameron explained.

“Chef! Drop it like it's hot!” Chris said as Chef came with a helicopter and dropped a block of concrete on the Maggot cabin, making them gasp.

“You crushed our cabin with a block of solid concrete?” Zoey asked.

“I had a bunch left over from building a monument of myself. I call it... Mount Chrismore!” Chris said as a mountain with Chris’s face carved in was shown before a seagull pooped on it then laughed alongside another one as they high-fived. “From now on, you'll all share one tiny, cruddy little cabin.” he said.

“But all our stuff was in there!” Zoey said.

“Yes! And because I am nice and not heartless, I'll help you get it out. One McLean brand pickaxe. Children's size.” Chris said as he tossed a tiny pickaxe.

“Ow!” Cameron yelped as it hit him in the head.

“Enjoy! Later, taters. Ouch! Chef!” Chris yelled as he got on the ladder on the helicopter and was smashed into the concrete block as Chef drew the helicopter away.

“Ha! Glad that wasn't our cabin.” Jo said.

“Ha ha! Score one for Team Dude.” Lightning said as he punched Jo in the arm and walked away.

“Hey, Jo. Now that the teams are disbanded, if you want some brains to compliment your brawn, maybe we could make an arrangement.” Cameron told Jo.

“Nice try, chicken legs, but I've already got my quarterback.” Jo said as she pointed at Lightning lifting a log.

“We are going all the way to the finals! Two hundred and five, six, seven, eight, ten, uh... nine!” Lightning counted as Cameron looked confused while Jo facepalmed.

Confessional: Jo

“Jockstrap’s idiocy has been getting on my nerves lately. I guess I should have had more than one ally.” Jo said.

“Aw, c'mon, gimme my clothes back.” Zoey said as she shit the concrete with the pickaxe on the roof.

“Hey, Zoey. They're probably too big and smell like garbage, but I found an extra pair of Brick's boots if you want 'em.” Mike said as he came with some of Brick’s boots.

“Uh, thanks Mike but I’ll manage. You can just… put those somewhere else.” Zoey said.

“Well, alright. I-I can try to find something els-” Mike tried to say but was interrupted.

“Look, I said I’m fine.” Zoey replied.

“A-Alright. See you later…” Mike sighed as he left.

Confessional: Zoey

“I don’t know if I should be so dismissive towards Mike, but after how secretive he’s been, I think  I have pretty good reason to be upset.” Zoey said.

Confessional: Mike

“Zoey’s trusting me less every single passing day. Maybe I should just tell her the truth. I mean, she's chill. She can handle multiple personalities, right? She won't just think I'm some freakish weirdo, right? Right?” Mike said and then inhaled.

“Sure, and my saggy old butt will get crowned Miss Canada. Here I am, Miss Canada!” Chester sang as he wrapped toilet paper on his arm.

“Ah, lookie, lookie. Multiple Mike thinks he's a lady's man. What a loser.” Scott chuckled as he saw Mike and Zoey.

“Scott! You can't talk about Mike's Dissociative Identity Disorder. He told me about that in strict aspiring doctor-patient confidentiality. Besides, he's got it under control.” Cameron said.

“Oh, does he?” Scott asked.

“Yes. Although some are harder to contain. Every time Mike loses his shirt, Vito pops out. But, but you can't say anything. Please!” Cameron said.

“Relax, Bubbles. I ain't a squealer. That's your job.” Scott said as Cameron looked nervous.

Confessional: Cameron

“I am so bad at keeping secrets.” Cameron said.

Cut to everyone in front of the cabins next to Chris with a monitor. “Challenge time! Today, it's all about grabbin' 'em and taggin' 'em. And to show you how it's done, I give you Total Drama's favorite juvenile delinquent, Duncan. Duncan owes me some camera time for skipping out on Total Drama World Tour, so I saved an extra painful challenge demo just for him.” Chris said as Chef brought Duncan who was strapped to a chair.

“Ugh, not this dump again!” Duncan angrily said.

“Shut it you darn delinquent!” Chef said.

“Eat dirt, McLean!” Duncan angrily told Chris.

“No, that's your job! First up, the Smash and Grab! Hidden somewhere in the Mess Hall kitchen are six keys to Chef's prized collection of vintage go-karts. Some drive like well-oiled machines. Others, not so much.” Chris said as he showed Chef’s kitchen on the monitor.

“Chris! Don't let these clowns drive my karts! They're going to smash them.” Chef said.

“Yes, and car crashes equals ratings. Demo time, Duncan! Chef, let this perp out on a day pass.” Chris said as Chef let Duncan out.

“Later, losers!” Duncan laughed as he ran away.

“Okay. Probably should've seen that coming.” Chris said.

“Here's the deal. You help me win today's challenge and I won't tell Zoey the truth about all your "funny characters".” Scott told Mike.

“Wait, how did you find out about that?” Mike asked.

“Sorry.” Cameron said.

Confessional: Mike

“Scott. Of all the people to find out. Ugh, things just keep getting worse and worse.” Mike sighed.

Confessional: Scott

“Now that we’re at the merge, I need a slave to do my bidding. And what better way to get one than blackmail?” Scott smirked.

Players, commence smashing and/or grabbing... now!” Chris said as they all ran in the kitchen.

Cut to everyone in the kitchen. “Okay, a key. Where would Chris hide a key? Salt! Ah!” Cameron yelled as he found a bottle of salt and accidentally poured it on his eye when his glasses tilted.

“Are you okay, Cam?” Mike asked as he came.

“Ugh, yeah. So, did anything happen between you and Scott?” Cameron asked as he rubbed his eye and fixed his glasses.

“He hasn’t done anything yet, but he said he was going to force me into helping him in the challenge.” Mike said.

“Well, good luck having to deal with his crap. I’ll try to help you if I can, it’s the best I can do after telling him about your disorder and letting my notebook get stolen by him.” Cameron said.

“Wait, he stole your notebook?” Mike asked.

“After he got me to reveal your disorder, he told me that he was the one who stole all our stuff back in the beach challenge and pinned it on Dawn.” Cameron explained.

“Wow, he’s even more horrible than I thought.” Mike said.

“Ready, new teammate?” Jo asked Lightning as they stood in front of a closet.

“I was born ready!” Lightning replied as Jo opened the closet.

“No key here. Oh well. At least this challenge isn't dangerous.” Jo said as she shut the closet, only to see a cockroach which jumped on her face as Lightning screamed.

“I bet there's a key under here. Peanuts? Hello, increased stamina!” Cameron said as he found some peanuts under a table. He searched again, only for a cockroach to pour salt on his hand and then bite it. “Ah!” he yelped in pain as he pulled his hand out.

Meanwhile, Scott broke a vase when he saw Mike searching. “Mike! Open that broom closet for me?” Scott asked.

“Do it yourself!” Mike replied.

“Oh, Zoey!” Scott said.

“Ugh, fine! Ooh, brooms. I'm scared. Scott!” Mike yelled as he opened the closet, only for a cockroach to stick onto his face.

“Nope. No keys in there.” Scott said as he looked in.

“I think I found something. Hey! Stop!” Zoey screamed as her hair was pulled in a bucket that she was searching in.

“Oh! Zoey!” Mike said as he tossed the cockroach off his face to see Zoey and ran toward her.

“A little help?” Zoey grunted.

“Oh, Mike! Root through this garbage! Now!” Scott said as he tossed a garbage bag.

“Ugh, fine.” Mike sighed as Zoey’s head was fully pulled in the bucket.

“Make sure to carefully look nice and slow.” Scott smirked as Mike searched the bag.

“Oh, gross! Aw,ew, ew, ew!” Mike grunted in disgust 

“Ugh!” Zoey grunted as she freed herself.

Confessional: Zoey

“Okay. I get that we're all going for the million bucks, but just ditching me like that after running toward me like he was going to help? Instead, he’s helping Scott when he and Cameron told me not to trust him?! What is Mike's deal?!” Zoey angrily said.

“Don’t worry bro, I got you!” Lightning said as he pulled the cockroach off of Jo’s face and threw it away.

“Ahh!” Mike yelled as it landed on his kiwis.

“Nice! This is killer entertainment!” Scott laughed at Mike’s misery.

“Jo! I got one! Team Dude! Yeah baby!” Lightning said as he found a key in a shelf and ran away, leaving Jo behind.

“Hey!” Jo angrily said.

Confessional: Jo

“Jockstrap still doesn't get it. To the boss go the spoils. And I'm the boss. Ergo, he should be spoiling me! Maybe he's outlived his usefulness after all.” Jo thought.

“Gimme that key! Sweet!” Zoey said as she beat the monster in the bucket with a broom, making it spit out the key.

“Oh yeah!” Jo said as she searched a trash can and found a key.

“Ah! Yes! Oh…” Cameron spat out a key as he was tossed from under a table.

“Bingo.” Scott said as he found a key in a desk when Mike came with a gold key.

“Ugh…” Mike mumbled as he rubbed his head when Scott saw the key.

“Whoa. There's a gold key?” Scott asked.

“I found it in the garbage.” Mike replied.

“You need to give me that key.” Scott said.

“Aw, c'mon!” Mike complained.

“Oh, Zoey!” Scott said as Mike sighed and gave it to him. “Pleasure doing blackmail with you.” he chuckled as he ran away.

Confessional: Mike

“You know, I actually thought Cameron was kind of exaggerating with how bad he was. Now I think he was underexaggerating.” Mike said.

Cut to Chef and Chris outside the Mess Hall. “You let them trash my kitchen?! Chris, man, do you know how long that's gonna take to clean up?” Chef said.

“Buddy. Brother from another mother. Relax, it's cool. See? I got you a new mop.” Chris said as he gave him a mop and left. Chef growled and snapped the mop in half.

Confessional: Chef

“Chris thinks he’s so funny! Perhaps a little payback will teach him some respect…” Chef thought.

Cut to everyone in a field with some go-karts while holding spray paint cans and GPS’s. “Say hello to challenge pas de deux. Grand Chef Auto. You've each been given a can of spray paint and a GPS map of the island. Your mission? Race your go-karts around the island and be first to graffiti tag three landmarks. The Rock Wall of Mount Looming Disaster, The Spooky Tree in the Haunted Forest, and the tippy top of a giant totem pole. Oh, and the go-karts? You'll have to steal them. From Chef.” Chris explained as Chef growled, making Cameron gulp.

“Why does it have to be Chef’s?” Cameron asked.

“For my amusement. The first player to completely tag all three landmarks wins immunity. And they get to choose who will be eliminated. All right. And go!” Chris said.

“You losers better not move an inch.” Chef said.

“Ooh, Chef's gonna stare us to death. Big deal.” Jo said as she fist-bumped Lightning.

“Nobody touches my stuff. Nobody.” Chef said as he snapped his fingers, making some laser squirrels appear.

“Laser squirrels!” Cameron screamed as everyone ran around screamed while being chased by the laser squirrels.

“I love it when Chef gets mad. Don't you? Who will survive his wrath? Find out after the break right here on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” Chris said as the screen cut to black.

Cut to everyone running around screaming when Chef cornered Jo and Lightning. “Game over. You're coming with me.” Chef said.

“Not cool!” Jo said.

“Ugh, this is so sha-unfair!” Lightning complained as they were handcuffed by Chef.

“Ow, they're in my hair!” Zoey yelled as some squirrels attacked her.

“Zoey!” Mike said as he saw her.

“Mike, cover me while I grab my go-kart.” Scott said.

“Oh, you've gotta be ki-- oh! Oh, fine.” Mike sighed as Scott grabbed him.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow! They're all over me! And they're biting at my nuts! You want 'em? Go fetch!” Cameron said as the squirrels bit him before he grabbed a packet of peanuts and threw it away.

“What the?” Jo said as the peanuts landed in her hands while being dragged away by Chef alongside Lightning..

“Sha-look out!” Lightning said as they ran away from some squirrels chasing them.

“Attack the contestants you nincompoops!” Chef yelled as he ran away.

“My first time behind the wheel! Whoa!” Cameron yelled as he got on a kart and crashed it.

“Gold key, gold car, that's the recipe for victory. Giddy up. Huh? Hey, no fair!” Scott angrily said as he got on the gold kart, only for the car to not move at all.

“Oh, I dunno. I think you got what you deserved.” Mike said as he got on another one.

“Gimme my key back.” Scott told Mike as he got off his kart.

“Whoa, not so fast. No take backs on karts. Especially the pooier ones.” Chris said.

“Get me to the finish line.” Scott whispered to Mike.

“Ugh, you suck…” Mike sighed.

“Why thank you!” Scott replied.

Cut to Scott’s kart tied to Mike’s. “Move, slowpoke! Give it!” Scott told Mike while he poked him with a stick.

“Ow! Ow! Is that stick really necessary?” Mike asked.

“Not really.” Scott said as Mike drew away, pulling Scott with him.

Cut to Jo and Lightning in a cell in front of Chef. “You can't do this Hatchet!” Jo said.

“Yeah, Lightning can't be caged.” Lightning said.

“Tell it to your prison guard!” Chef said as he pointed at Fang tied to a pole with a chain.

“Not that creepy mutant shark thingy!” Lightning said.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me!” Jo said.

“Enjoy your prison experience!” Chef laughed as he left.

Cut to Zoey spraying a pink heart on the rock wall. “First landmark, and first to tag it! Yes! Go, Team Zoey!” Zoey said.

“Nice one, Zoey!” Cameron said as he came.

“Thanks! Good luck, Cam!” Zoey said as she went back on her kart and drove away.

“Hmm, what to tag, what to tag?” Cameron thought and then gasped as he began spraying purple paint when Mike and Scott came.

“You wait here. I'm tagging first.” Scott said as he got off his kart.

“Ugh…” Mike sighed as Scott tagged the wall with a blue cross and got back in the kart as Mike got out and saw Cameron painting with purple.

“If I just…” Cameron thought as he sprayed while Mike sprayed a green tick.

“Wow, Cam. But, you don't have to–” Mike tried to say but was interrupted by Scott honking the horn. “You don't have to–” he tried to continue before Scott honked it again. “All right, I'm coming!” he said as he went to the kart and drove away.

“What? What was that? Hm.” Cameron thought

Cut to Jo and Lightning in the cage. “Way to go, Jockstrap.” Jo told Lightning.

“Do not disrespect the Lightning!” Lightning said before Jo blew her whistle.

“Zip it! What we need is a play! Can you bend these bars?” Jo asked.

“Like straws. What about him?” Lightning asked as he pointed at Fang.

“Leave Fin Face to me.” Jo said.

“Whatever you say dude!” Lightning said as he began trying to bend the bars.

“I’m not-ugh!” Jo angrily said.

Confessional: Jo

“Okay, he’s more than a little annoying. Not to mention that he hasn’t been particularly useful. Hell, I’m safe without his vote anyway! Why am I keeping him around!?” Jo said.

Cut to Zoey finishing tagging a pink heart onto a tree. “Two down and I'm in the lead! Ah!” Zoey said as she got on her kart which was knocked away by the tree growing tentacles.

“Ah, ow, oh! Ah!” Mike grunted as he and Scott arrived while Scott poked him with a stick.

“Mike! Go check if it's safe!” Scott said.

“Yeah, yeah. Ah!” Mike yelled as he was grabbed by the tree tentacles.

“Be quick, won’t ya?” Scott mocked.

Confessional: Scott

“Best blackmail ever!” Scott laughed as he whittled a stick with his shark tooth.

Cut to Lightning and Jo in the cell. “Sha-... na!” Lightning said as he managed to bend the bars.

“Nice. Now for that shark!” Jo said as she shoved Lightning into Fang’s mouth.

“Ah! Ah-ha!” Lightning yelped as Fang bit his butt.

“Nice knowing ya, Shark Bait. Driver's Ed, don't fail me now!” Jo said as she ran toward a cart and tried to drive away with it, however it took a long time due to the karts slowness.

Confessional: Jo

“Of course.” Jo rolled her eyes.

“Did Jo leave me behind? On purpose? I have to catch up so I can punch his lying face!” Lightning said as Fang bit his butt. “Quit chewing my butt, man! Ah, I'll take you to Scott.” he said as Fang looked happy.

Cut to Lightning and Fan driving in a cart. “Go, Team Lightning!” Lightning cheered when he got a message from the GPS.

“Listen up. Three landmarks wasn't fun enough. So... I added a fourth. It's a doozy. A mountainside right in the center of the island. Now, get bagging and don't spare the paint. McLean out. McLean out!” Chris said from the GPS, however he looked and talked weirdly as the GPS shut off.

“Man, couldn’t that dumb host tell us about this before? Oh well, more time for Lightning to win!” Lightning said.

Meanwhile, it was shown that Chef recorded this message with a Chris doll. “Nobody touches my stuff. Nobody!” Chef said as he burst into evil laughter.

Cut to Cameron finishing a painting on the rock wall of Chris giving him the money as he laid on a cloud. “Mwah! Magnifico.” Cameron said when Jo came.

“Why are you still here, Bubble Head? It's a race, not art school.” Jo said as she circled Cameron’s head as Cameron facepalmed.

Cut to Zoey climbing a totem. “Ha! First to the top! C'mon, c'mon! Two more to tag and I've won this thing!” Zoey said as she climbed when Scott and Mike came.

“Mike, give me a boost!” Scott said.

“Ew.” Mike said as he helped Scott climb.

“You said he was untrustworthy and now you’re helping him? Why can’t you just be consistent with your feelings for once!?” Zoey complained.

“Zoey, I…” Mike replied as Scott climbed.

“Save it. Yes, I’m first!” Zoey said as she shook her can

“No, I am!” Scott said.

“Scott what are you, ow!” Zoey grunted as Scott threw his can at her head, making her fall and hand on a wing “Ah! Help!” she yelled.

“Whoopsie!” Scott chuckled.

“But, I thought we were friends!” Zoey said.

“And I thought you were a gullible moron. And unlike you, I was right.” Scott said as he tagged the totem while Zoey gasped.

Confessional: Zoey

“Ugh, why is every person who’s nice to me just ends up betraying me!? Is it so hard to have one trustworthy friend?” Zoey complained.

“Zoey! Hold on!” Mike said.

“Ha ha! I'm gonna need a tow to the last landmark.” Scott said as he jumped off the totem.

“Tow yourself! I'm helping Zoey!” Mike said as he tried to climb the pole.

“Fine! I'll just get a lift from someone else!” Scott said as he ripped off Mike’s shirt, making him inhale.

“Ay yo, bro, you seen Anne Maria?” Vito asked.

“Yeah! Gimme a tow and I'll show ya.” Scott replied.

“You got it, bro.” Vito said as they got on the karts.

“Mike? Mike!” Zoey yelled as they drove off.

Cut to Jo slowly driving her kart before stopping to sniff. “Huh. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear that smells like… testosterone! No! Ah!” Jo grunted as Lightning and Fang passed her, making her kart spin.

“Take that, coach! Sha-bam!” Lightning cheered.

Cut to Zoey holding on to the totem. “Can't... hold on!” Zoey screamed as he fell on Cameron’s kart as he arrived, launching him to the top.

“Whoa! Oof! Hey, cool! Top of the pole! Thanks, Zoey!” Cameron said.

“Can't talk. Gotta go punch Mike! Or Vito. Or whatever his name is!” Zoey said as she drove off.

“Vito! Oh, no! I've got to stop Scott!” Cameron gasped.

Confessional: Cameron

“I was so busy going solo, I forgot about helping Mike with Scott! Being a good friend is way harder than it looks.” Cameron said.

Cut to Lightning tagging the top of the pole with a red lightning. “Sha-tagged!” Lightning cheered.

“And the winner of Grand Chef Auto is... Where is everyone?” Chris said as he and Chef came on an ATV.

“Going for that last landmark. The extra one that you added.” Lightning said as he jumped in his kart and drove off.

“What last landmark? Mount Chrismore! Duncan!” Chris yelled as he saw Mt. Chrismore was tagged on the GPS.

“That Duncan is one bad dude.” Chef smirked.

“Drive! We have to terminate this challenge with extreme prejudice! Yah! Ah!” Chris grunted as Chef drove off, knocking him off the car.

Cut to Vito and Scott arriving at Mt. Chrismore. “'Kay, here we go. Where's the club?” Vito asked as they got off the karts.

“Right here.” Scott said as he laughed and smashed in Mike’s head with a club and then ran off.

“Mike! We are done! Not that we ever even started, you– Mike? Mike? Mike!” Zoey gasped as she came to see Mike unconscious.

Cut to Mike in his subconscious. “Zoey? Where am I?” Mike asked.

“Ay, yo! We're all in your flipping mind!” Vito said as he came.

“It's a subconscious, you salami head!” Chester said as he came.

“I think it's time we show you who is boss!” Svetlana said as she came.

“Yeah! This shrimp keeps getting' in my way with the ladies.” Manitoba said as he came and grabbed Mike with a lasso.

“I'm in the way? You guys have been pushing me around way too long! It's payback time!” Mike said as they all began fighting.

Cut to the outside where Mike was shown trying to beat himself up. “Mike! Are you okay? Is there something wrong?” Zoey asked.

“He's fighting his multiple personalities for control!” Cameron gasped as he arrived.

“Multiple personalities?” Zoey asked.

“What is wrong with me?” Cameron facepalmed.

“Can you hear me? Mike!” Zoey yelled.

Cut to Mike being beaten by his alters subconscious. “Ah! That is it! I'm taking control. Starting now!” Mike said as he jumped out and beat his alters. “There! That's more like it. From now on, this brain is under new management. Mine!” he said.

Cut to the outside. “Mike? Mike? Are you okay?” Zoey asked as Mike was shown unconscious again.

“Better than okay. I won!” Mike said as he woke up.

Confessional: Mike

“I don't know how it happened, but somewhere in my brain, I heard Zoey yelling, and the idea of losing my one shot with the coolest girl ever just made me... kinda lose it.” Mike explained.

“Zoey, listen. My characters, they're not just for show. I... I have multiple personalities.” Mike told Zoey.

“Yeah, I know. Cameron just told me.” Zoey replied.

“Sorry!” Cameron said.

“I should've told you first. I just didn't want you to think I was a total freak. Because the real me really likes you. A lot.” Mike said.

“Are you kidding? My feelings aren’t going to change due to something like this. Multiple personalities or not, you’re still the Mike I know and love. I’ll love you no matter what.” Zoey said.

“Wow. T-thanks for not judging me Zoey. I’m sorry for thinking you’d think I was a weirdo like most other people do.” Mike said.

“Mike, you’re not a weird freak just because of a mental disorder. I should be the one apologizing for treating you so horribly without knowing what you were going through.” Zoey said as they hugged.

“Ha, score one for the Scott-meister. Huh?” Scott said as he climbed the mountain and reached Chris’s eye before he saw Lightning and Fang driving up a ramp towards him.

“Lightning for the win!” Lightning cheered as they drove off the ramp.

“Ah!” Scott yelled as Fang bit him while Lightning began spray painting.

“Sha-ba-ba-ba-ba-bam! I’m the best!” Lightning cheered as he sprayed a giant red Lightning on the mountain.

“My face! My beautiful fifty foot concrete face! Did you have to stop at the drive through?” Chris asked Chef as they came on the ATV.

“I needed my daily soda.” Chef replied as he drank.

“Chris, I'd like to make my vote! Jo is out of here!” Lightning said as Jo arrived.

“What? I’m last?” Jo complained.

“No. No vote for you.” Chris said.

“What?” Lightning asked.

“You fell for an obvious prank by Duncan.” Chris said.

“Sorry, bro. That wasn't me.” Duncan said as he popped up behind a rock and then pressed a button on a remote, blowing the mountain up. “Now that? That was me.” he said as he laughed with Chef.

“Whoo!” Chef laughed as he saw Chris glaring at him and stopped as he rolled his eyes. Meanwhile, Fang still held Scott in his mouth before Scott sprayed blue paint in it, making him choke him out.

Cut to the elimination. “The real final landmark was the totem pole. So immunity and today's sole vote goes to first person who completely tagged it. Scott!” Chris said.

“Yeah!” Scott cheered as everyone looked upset.

“Scott, eliminate the player of your choice. Choose Lightning.” Chris said.

“No! Eliminate Jo! He's a rat!” Lightning said as he got up.

“Choose me, and I’ll make you regret it!” Jo said.

“Eenie meenie miney mo, who's the biggest losey-o? It's Mike.” Scott said as Zoey gasped. “Thanks for towing me to victory!” he chuckled next to Mike as he sighed.

“Mike, the Toxic Marshmallow of Loserdom is yours.” Chris said as Chef showed Mike the marshmallow of loserdom.

Cut to Mike in the catapult. “Well, Mike. It was nice knowing ya. All four of ya. Or is it five? So hard to keep track.” Chris said.

“Wait, Mike!” Zoey said as she came.

“Zoey! I’m sorry I had to go.” Mike said. And just when were just finally getting to know each other.” Mike said.

“Don’t blame yourself, it’s all Scott’s fault. I’ll make that jerk pay for eliminating you!” Zoey said.

“That’s the spirit! I have something for you to remember me by.” Mike said as he gave her a necklace with his face on it.

“Oh, it's beautiful! I wish we had more time together.” Zoey said as she took it.

“Well, I probably have time for a goodbye kiss.” Mike said as they leaned in for a kiss before he was catapulted away screaming.

“Or not.” Chris said.

Confessional: Zoey

“Not only did Scott trick me into trusting him, he also blackmailed Mike and then voted him off? Ugh! Just thinking about him makes my blood boil! Mark my words, he’s not going to win this after all the crap he pulled!” Zoey said.

“Who will be the next loser hurled? What humiliating challenges lie in store? And where will I build my next monument to me? Find out next time on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” Chris said as the episode ended.

BONUS CLIP

Mike’s Audition Tape

Cut to Mike in his room. “Hi. Mike here, to explain why I would be great for the next Total Drama season. For one, I have a lot of different talents to offer. I can be agile and graceful, but also tough and scrappy. With the keen senses of a wilderness survivor, I'm ready to win this season! Oh, I can also act like an old guy too I guess. I don't care what my doctor says, I can win this! Uh, did I say doctor? Ha. I meant psychiatrist. Ah! No, I mean... do-over! Gah! Oh…” Mike said as he accidentally knocked down the camera while scrambling.

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island…” Chris began the recap. “The players went on a smash and grab graffiti race. Lightning and Jo's team fell apart after she used him as shark bait. Scott blackmailed Mike by threatening to tell Zoey about his multiple personalities. Finally, Mike fought back, gave his personalities a beat down, and got voted off the island. Too bad, so sad. Missed a spot. We're down to our final five competitors. And you'll never guess who's next to ride the Hurl of Shame.” he said as he catapulted an intern away while another looked upset. “Told ya. What? Catapults are expensive. I need to get my money's worth. But someone else will be flung before the day's over. Find out who right here on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” he ended the recap.

(Theme song)

Cut to Scott running through the woods away from Fang before he tripped on a rock. “Ah! You win! Just eat me fast, okay? Huh?” Scott said as he poured some salt on himself before they heard a noise, distracting Fang enough to give him time to kick him in the kiwis, making him mumble as he collapsed. “Yeah! How's that taste?” he mocked as he ran toward the cabins where the others were.

“Whoa…” Cameron, Zoey, Jo and Lightning gasped as they saw a zeppelin.

“Ha. Look at you wusses. It's just a stupid blimp. Ow!” Scott grunted before an anchor was dropped on his foot.

“Actually, I believe it's a zeppelin. Named after Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin, who-- oof!” Cameron grunted as he got crushed by a ramp that came out..

“You're both wrong. It's the McLean Mobile Air Command Center, where I will recline in luxury while you compete in today's challenge: an aerial obstacle course!” Chris explained as he got out.

“Sweet! Lightning, taking to the skies! Sha-bam!” Lightning said as he swung his arm, accidentally punching Scott in the face.

“Uh-huh. And here to demonstrate, put your hands together for Total Drama classic contender, Heather!” Chris said as Heather got out while glaring at everyone. Her hair was now medium length.

“Ugh.” Jo scoffed.

“No way!” Scott said.

“I’m the sha-best!” Lightning said as he kissed his abs. Heather walked down the ramp, hurting Cameron even more.

“Wow. You're the Heather?” Zoey asked.

“Sorry, I have this policy of not talking to losers.” Heather replied.

“Oh, I'm not a loser. You know, unless everyone else thinks I am. Heh. Besides, aren’t your closest friends Cody and Harold?” Zoey said.

“Who I’m friends with doesn’t concern you.” Heather scoffed.

“Heather will now demonstrate the aerial challenge while wearing a jetpack.” Chris said.

“Enjoy your trip!” Chef laughed as he put a jetpack on Heather and pressed a remote, making Heather scream as she was sent flying through multiple fire rings.

“Whoa!” Heather grunted as the fuel ran out, causing her to fall down while screaming.

“Everyone, just be cool. There's a parachute built into it.” Chris said as Heather crashed into the ground.

“Ugh…” Heather mumbled as the parachute deployed on her.

“Best challenge ever!” Chris laughed.

“That looked like it hurt.” Cameron said.

“Uh, this challenge seems kinda unsafe.” Zoey said as she looked at Heather.

“No, it's totally unsafe! Did I mention you'll also be attacked by flying mutant fire-breathing goats?” Chris said.

“Sha-what?!” Lightning said.

“Flying and fire breathing?” Cameron said.

“That's it! I'm out!” Zoey said.

“Okay, but before you go... you should say goodbye to this! The ultimate Total Drama prize! One. Million. Dollars! Give or take.” Chris said as he showed the case with the money in it as some of it got blown away by the wind.

“Money. Removing all common sense and fear of danger.” Zoey said robotically as she saw the money.

“Too bad you'll never win it. Oof!” Scott grunted as he was shoved by Zoey.

“Just watch me!” Zoey said.

Confessional: Zoey

“Scott really brings out the jerk in me. Which is kind of liberating. Besides, not only did he betray me and Mike off, Cameron also told me about how he stole all our stuff. He needs to pay!” Zoey angrily said.

“Now, to perform your aerial feats, you'll first have to construct your very own flying machines!” Chris said.

“Don't worry, Bubble Boy. It may be every camper for him or herself, but I have got your back. Alliance, you and me, agreed?” Jo asked Cameron as she grabbed him by his jacket.

“Um…” Cameron replied before Jo dropped him.

“Good! Now make my flying machine for me! And make it faster and better than yours.” Jo said.

Confessional: Cameron

“I am a ninety-five-pound weakling. Okay, ninety-four-and-a-half. With all the Scotts and Lightnings out there, sometimes I need to stay as invisible as possible. So I'll hide behind Jo. Then when it comes time to vote people off, everyone will target the serious competition like Scott or Lightning or, heh heh, Jo.” Cameron explained.

Confessional: Jo

“Cam's a good kid. I'll carry him a few rounds and then I'll dump him! But first, Jockstrap's getting a ticket to the Hurl of Shame! He's got this silly "grudge" against me, all because I betrayed him. So what, I do that all the time, he doesn’t need to take it so personally.” Jo said.

Confessional: Lightning

“Yeah! Because that Jo guy kicked me right into that shark's mouth. He was tenderizing me like a T-bone! Jo's gonna pay! Hm, man, I could really go for a T-bone right about now. Anyway, I'm–” Lightning said.

Confessional: Scott

“Gonna whoop–” Scott said.

Confessional: Zoey

“Everybody else and–” Zoey said.

Confessional: Cameron

“Take home that million–” Cameron said.

Confessional: Jo

“Dollars for myself!” Jo said.

Confessional: Lightning

“Sha-licious.” Lightning rubbed his stomach.

Cut to everyone in a junkyard. “Welcome to your one-stop shop for flying machine parts: the dump! Revolting and reasonably priced. Each player will pick a card representing their mode of flight. Pick 'em like your nose, losers! Ugh!” Chris said as he showed them a trash bag.

“A hot air balloon? Ugh, could you get more frou-frou la-dee-da?” Jo said as she picked a card and left.

“A helicopter? Sweet! Didn't think I'd get one 'til I hit the majors!” Lightning said as he picked a card and left.

“A plane! Cool! And also totally impossible to build.” Zoey said as she picked a card and left.

“A rocket? Hooray! My rocketeer knowledge is both sophisticated and formidable!” Cameron said as he picked a card and left.

“Huh? A bird? How am I supposed to build a bird?” Scott said as he picked a card. “I want a new card! Ah! Oh! Ah! Ah... a bird, yep. That works.” he said as he tried to get another one, only for his hand to get caught in a bear trap as he left. 

“The first camper to show me their finished flying machine wins an advantage. A McLean brand smoke machine! Use it as a smokescreen. Smoke bees out of your attic or just create spooky ambiance! Check it!” Chris said as he used a smoke machine on the campers, making them cough. “Sweet, right? The first to finish their contraption wins that smoky bad boy. Okay, campers! Prepare to get your dump on! Now!” he said as they ran off.

“Nerdlinger, how do I make a balloon? And what do I need to make it? And by I, I mean you.” Jo asked.

“Well, we'll need at least 847 square feet of silk, a heat source that can generate 7.4 cubic meters of hot air per second…” Cameron replied.

“Boring! Just find the stuff and build it, pencil neck!” Jo said.

“Hey! How about helping me out with my helicopter?” Lightning asked.

“Hmm... any internal combustion engine would do. Plus a fan with blades at least seventy-two inches in diam-- ah!” Cameron tried to say before he was pulled away by Jo.

“Shut your talk hole! Get your own nerd, Muscle Head!” Jo angrily told Lightning.

“Hey! I’ll do whatever as I sha-please! No way am I listening to your traitorous sha-butt!” Lightning said.

“You don’t have to listen to me, I’m still taking him away anyway. Besides, Bubble Boy wants to help me, right?” Jo told Cameron as he gulped.

“Uh, yeah. S-Sorry.” Cameron said.

“This is sha-unbelievable!” Lightning complained as he stormed off.

Confessional: Lightning

“Man, looks like Jo’s got another sucker to do her bidding. But ain’t no way is the Lightning gonna let that backstabber win! I’ll just need to convince that Bubble Lover to turn on her!” Lightning said.

“How to build a bird? Hmm. Birds have feathers. Paydirt.” Scott thought as he saw two seagulls and ripped off their feathers as he laughed, only for them to attack him.

Confessional: Scott

“Lesson learned. Do not mess with any more mutant animals.” Scott said while covered in feathers.

Cut to Zoey walking. “I have to build a plane. Come on, that's impossible. I mean, where am I supposed to find a cockpit?” she said when she saw a swan boat. “Okay, fine. But where am I supposed to find wings?” she said when she saw some bat wings. “Well, sure. Those are awesome, but,okay, where am I supposed to find a propeller? I'll never find a-- oof!” she grunted as she tripped over a propeller. “Ugh, all right, already. I'll make the darn plane!” she sighed.

Cut to Lightning walking. “Gotta find a really big fan. Parachute? Heat source? Hey, that's what Jo needs.” Lightning said as he found a parachute and heat source. “Hey, Jo! Good luck finding your stuff behind this motorcycle and huge fan that would make a totally banging helicopter. Aw, yeah. Who's the smart guy now? Wait a minute.” he laughed as put them under a motorcycle and a fan, only to realize what he saw.

Cut to Scott pouring some glue over some feathers as the seagulls watched him while Zoey hammered in the propeller to her boat, making it activate.

“Sweet!” Zoey said as the propeller blew the feathers back Scott’s face, making him cough. “Nice fursuit.” she mocked.

“Oh, just you wait…” Scott angrily said.

Cut to Lightning putting the motorcycle on the fan. “Oh yeah, I'm making myself a hover-copter! Sha-zoom!” Lightning cheered.

Confessional: Lightning

“Man, if I wasn’t such a great athlete, I could totally be an awesome engineer! Though, I could probably do anything and be the best at it due to how great I am! Man, I am so cool and awesome!” Lightning said as he kissed his abs.

Cut to Cameron and Jo in front of the hot air balloon which was tied to the ground. “Wow. Good work, Wonder Nerd.” Jo said.

“Thanks. I based this off of that one in the penultimate episode of season 3. Well, better find the parts to make my rocket.” Cameron replied.

“Or you could be a real competitor and sabotage the others!” Jo said as they saw Lightning in between two mountains of trash.

“Aw, yeah! Look at this awesome copter! Lightning’s got this in the sha-bag!” Lightning said as he looked at his helicopter..

“That's not very sportspersonlike.” Cameron said.

“Listen, Turbodork. Winning is all that matters. And you can't win unless everybody else loses. Right? So go over there and "accidentally" tip a mountain of crud onto Captain Muscle.” Jo said as she gave Cameron a shovel as he began climbing a mountain.

Confessional: Cameron

“I don’t like to sabotage other people’s hard work, but I need to do what Jo says for now so I can stay under the radar.” Cameron explained.

Cameron tried  to tip down the mountain with the shovel, only to launch himself away. “Whoa!” Cameron yelled as he was launched away.

“What was that? Eh, it’s probably nothing sha-important.” Lightning said as he continued working on his helicopter.

Meanwhile, Cameron crashed into an engine as he mumbled. “A 747 engine? Eureka squared! Ooh! And all the major components are intact! I feel some inspiration coming on.” Cameron said as he looked in the engine.

Cut to Jo waiting while sitting on the hot air balloon. “For crying out loud! How long does it take to bury someone in junk?” Jo said as she left and saw Cameron finishing a giant rocked as he sat on top of it.

“There. That should do it.” Cameron said as she finished hammering in a piece.

“What the? What do you think you're doing? I told you to sabotage that moron, not to build yourself a dumb toy!” Jo angrily said.

“Ah!” Cameron yelped as he accidentally pressed a button, activating the rocket.

“Oof!” Jo grunted as she was blasted away while Cameron sped through.

“Whoa!” Cameron yelled as he crashed into a pile of junk.

“We have a winner! Cam finishes first and gets a smoke machine!” Chris said.

“Aw…” Zoey and Scott sighed.

“What?!” Lightning said.

“Who will fly high? Who will crash and burn? Literally. And how many Gemmies will I win for this episode? Find out when we return on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” Chris said as the screen cut to black.

Cut to everyone in front of their machines on the ground. Scott had wings, Zoey had a bat-swan plane, Lightning had a hovercopter, Jo had a wheelchair hot air balloon while Cameron had a giant engine rocket. “Nice work, Cameron. I've taught you well.” Jo told Cameron.

“Weren’t you upset that I built the rocket instead of sabotaging Lightning?” Cameron asked.

“No, of course not! What gave you that idea? Now, better let me hold onto that. Gotta keep it safe or someone might try to scam it from you.” Jo said as she took the machine from Cameron.

“Don’t you think he’s pushing you around?” Lightning asked Cameron.

Confessional: Cameron & Jo

“No, I don't think Jo is pushing me around at all. I'd be nowhere without her. I owe all my success to her, and I'll ride my way to victory with her assured advice.” Cameron said as the camera panned over to show Jo who patted him on the head.

Cut to Chris on the zeppelin with Chef and Heather. “Players, prepare to be challenged in the obstacle course of doom!” Chris yelled to the contestants with a megaphone. Meanwhile, Heather saw the briefcase and smirked.

“I'm gonna ace this puppy!” Scott said.

“Hope you can flap your wings as fast as your jaw!” Zoey replied.

“Just watch. It'll be flying high while you take a swan dive into the lake!” Scott said as Zoey activated the propeller, pulling his winds. “Hey, hey! Watch the feathers!” Scott said as he left and came with a crowbar, shoving it into Zoey’s propeller and making her plane spin.

“Whoa! Stop! Scott!” Zoey yelled.

“If you say so.” Scott said as he pulled out the crowbar, causing her to be launched off as he laughed.

Confessional: Zoey

“Ugh, I hate that jerk so much. Even thinking about him is just pissing me off!” Zoey growled.

“Man, they really hate each other now, huh? I feel another Gemmie coming on. Ow!” Chris said as he looked at them for the zeppelin with Chef, only for Heather to hit them with a Gemmie award and throw them off the plane as they screamed.

“Wow, that was even more satisfying than I thought it’d be.” Heather said as Chris and Chef hit the ground.

“I think I sprained my stubble.” Chris mumbled in pain on the ground.

“Uh, Chris? Heather's stealing your mobile air command center.” Cameron said.

“Whatever. Got it at the air force garage sale.” Chris said.

“And my million dollars!” Jo said.

“Whatever. Not my million bucks.” Chris said.

“And all your Gemmie awards.” Zoey said.

“My Gemmies? But I need those!” Chris said.

“Listen up losers! I’m taking over the show now! The first one to the zeppelin gets the million and the rest can kiss the money goodbye!” Heather yelled from the plane.

“What! You can’t do that! I’m the host!” Chris said.

“Sorry, did you say something? I heard "The first one to the zeppelin gets the million" and kind of blanked out after that.” Lightning said.

“Yeah, let’s just start up the machines already! That million is going to be mine!” Zoey said.

“No! You need to stop her!” Chris said.

“There’s no reason to listen to you McLame, you don’t even have the cash!” Jo said.

“B-But…” Chris said.

“Try and stop me if you can! I've got gold statuettes and I am not afraid to use them!” Heather said as she threw two gemmies.

“I got you, my preciouses!” Chris said as he ran, only to get hit by the gemmies.

Confessional: Jo

“Heather's conniving, mean, deceitful. My kind of competitor. Except for those girly short-shorts. Ugh!” Jo scoffed in disgust.

“Get your flying machines airborne and shoot down that zeppelin! Aim for the engines. Here's your ammo. Flying mutant fire-breathing mountain goat eggs!” Chris said as he got up while Chef gave the campers some eggs.

“Um, goats are mammals. They don't lay eggs.” Cameron said.

“They also don't breathe fire. Unless they live here. Thank you, toxic waste. Whoever takes down Heather gets immunity! Oh, and look out for the flying mutant fire-breathing mountain goats. They are super ticked for some reason.” Chris said.

“I wonder why that is.” Chef said.

Cut to Chef being lowered by a rope into a mutant goat nest. He blew an airhorn to scatter them away and got some eggs in a basket as he chuckled and was pulled back up.

“Zoey’s probably targeting me after what I did to Mike. Well, two can play that game. Ain't nothin' gonna stop the Scott-meister. Heh.” Scott chuckled as he juggled an egg before seeing Fang next to him. “Ah!” he yelled as he was chased away by him.

“Unhook my mooring line Bubble Head! I'm going in!” Jo told Cameron. He rolled his eyes as he did so while Jo pumped air to the balloon, making it go higher.

“No!” Scott yelled as he ran past.

“Hey!” Cameron said as Fang ran toward Scott, only for his foot to get stuck in the line and be lifted in the air with the balloon.

“Sucks to be you.” Scott laughed as Fang growled while he began flying..

“Time for Lightning to get some air.” Lightning said as he readied his hovercopter and flew with it.

“Alright, I can do this.” Zoey told herself as she took off with her swan-bat plane.

“Hey, Zoey, thanks for the lift! Ha ha!” Scott laughed as he jumped off of Zoey’s plane to go higher, making it spin.

“Scott!” Zoey screamed as the plane spun.

“Man. I'm good.” Scott said before screaming after seeing Fang tied to Jo’s balloon. He flew away as Fang tried to bite him.

“Lightning going long!” Lightning said as he tossed an egg to the zeppelin, only for it to bounce off.

“Pfft.” Heather chuckled and then burst into evil laughter.

“Just a warm up. This time for real.” Lightning said as he got another egg when he saw Jo’s balloon.

“What’s wrong, jockstrap? Can’t get the million?” Jo mocked.

“No way! That million is mine, mister!” Lightning said.

“Mister?” Jo scoffed as Lightning tossed an egg, only for it to hit Cameron’s rocket as he came.

“Wha! Whoa! Ah!” Cameron yelled as his rocket went out of control.

“Wha!” Lightning yelled as the rocket went past him, making him spin.

“Ah, the smell of victory. Why does victory smell like bad breath?” Jo said as she smelled the eggs, only to see some goats that breathed fire at her but missed. “Hey! Go burn someone else's balloon! Like... like hers!” she said as she pointed at the zeppelin, making the goats fly toward it and causing Heather to gasp.

“You want a piece of me? Huh?! You want a piece?” Heather angrily said as she tossed some gemmies out of the door.

“Ugh! Cameron, cover me! Ugh!” Jo grunted as she got hit.

Cameron nodded and went in front of Jo’s balloon. “Ow! Ah! Christmas!” Cameron mumbled as he got hit by the gemmies, one in the kiwis.

“You're running defense for Jo? He's running you like a dollar store kazoo, man. Just like he did to me.” Lightning said as he came.

“Eat smoke, bird boy. Ha ha!” Jo said as she blasted smoke in Scott’s face with the machine, making him choke.

“That smoke machine should be yours! Don’t let yourself be a wimp who gets bossed around, or else you won’t achieve greatness like I did!” Lightning said as Cameron looked in thought.

“Bubble Boy! Get over here and take some more shots to the head. I've got a zeppelin to crash!” Jo told Cameron.

“Jo! Crash this.” Cameron said as he pressed a button, making the machine blow up on Jo’s face.

“No!” Jo yelled as she saw that her balloon caught on fire, sending her falling down.

Confessional: Cameron

“I spent enough time with Jo to know she'll take everything she can. So I planted a small explosive in my smoke machine just in case. Lightning’s right, I can’t just sit back and let myself get bossed around if I want to win. Who knew he of all people could give such good advice?” Cameron said.

Cut to Zoey trying to control the plane, only to break a handle. “Oh crap. Whoa!” Zoey screamed as her plane went out of control, dropping her on the zeppelin before she fell off it onto a goat. “Oh no. Nice goat. Good mutant goat. Easy goat. Ah! Oh, goat. Stop! The zeppelin's back there! Please stop! Please!” she yelled as the goat flew out of control. “I said stop!” she said as she pulled the goats horns, making it stop. “Hey. You actually listened to me. No way!” she said as she saw other goats approaching.

“Yeah. Eggs as weapons. Great choice, Chris.” Scott said as he flew.

“Hey, bird brain!” Zoey yelled.

“Huh?” Scott said in shock as he turned backwards to see Zoey on some mutant goats.

“This is for Mike! Goats, fire!” Zoey said as the goats breathed fire at Scott, burning his wings off and making him fall as he screamed before landing on something.

“Ahh! Phew. No!” Scott sighed in relief before screaming as he saw that he was on Fang who was still tied to Jo’s balloon as they fell in the water.

“Lightning's got it locked. All right! Sha-bam!” Lightning cheered as he jumped into the zeppelin’s window, breaking it as Heather ran away to dodge the impact. “Yes! That cool mil is mine! All right, girl. Hand it over!” he said as he saw Heather with the case.

“Oh. I'm sorry. All I wanted was to have some fun. But this has just gone too far. Here. Just take it.” Heather whined as she showed the case with him, only to hit him with it.

“Ah! What is wrong with y-- you're crazy. Ah! Oof!” Lightning said as Heather beat him up with the case.

“Did you really think it’d be that easy? You’ll have to beat me first.” Heather said as she walked away.

“No! Give me my money!” Lightning said as he ran toward Heather.

“Ugh, stop it you worthless meathead!” Heather angrily said as they fought over the case before Lightning saw something through the broken window.

“Heather! Heads up, behind you!” Lightning said as he jumped away.

“Do you actually expect me to fall for your pathetic little diver–” Heather tried to say before she screamed as she saw Cameron  about to crash into the balloon with his rocket. Cameron crashed into the zeppelin, causing it to go down as he held on while Lightning jumped out with the case.

“Woohoo! Score!” Lightning cheered.

“A million bucks, finders keepers!” Chris said as he came with a jetpack and took the case away.

“Sha-wow. He's good.” Lightning said as he continued falling.

Meanwhile, Cameron was still holding on the zeppelin as it fell. He let go as it screamed, only for his jacket to be caught by a mutant goat. Zoey was on another next to it and winked at him. “Thanks, Zoey.” Cameron said.

Meanwhile, the zeppelin crashed in the water while Scott swam away from Fang as Jo looked around. “Eh. Could be worse.” Jo said as Lightning fell on her.

Cut to the elimination ceremony. “Elimination time. Cameron, you took out Heather, so you're safe. But the rest of you are on the chopping block. Regular marshmallow means you're safe. Toxic Marshmallow of Loserdom means you're out. And probably mutated if you touch it.” Chris began the ceremony.

“Dirt Boy! You failed to accomplish anything meaningful and got yourself burnt by goats!” Chef called out Scott who scoffed.

“Redhead! You somehow managed to control mutant goats, and yet still couldn’t win!” Chef called out Zoey who glared at Scott.

“Muscle Man! While you were the first and only one to be in the zeppelin, you got tricked and failed to keep the case!” Chef called out Lightning who was smirking.

“Finally, Jockette. All of your allies seem to have turned on you. If I were you, I’d be pretty worried.” Chef called out Jo who looked nervous.

“The marshmallows go to…” Chris said as he began tossing the marshmallows.

“Zoey.” he said as he tossed her a marshmallow.

“Scott. Also safe.” he said as he tossed him a marshmallow. Lightning was smirking at Jo as she looked upset.

“And with three votes against, the Toxic Marshmallow of Loserdom goes to…

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Jo.” he said as he tossed her the toxic marshmallow

“Hah, how does it feels to know that you’re a sha-loser?” Lightning mocked.

“Oh, I don’t know. I should be asking you that question!” Jo said as he pulled out the immunity idol from her pocket.

The invincibility statue! Nice! That means Jo is safe.” Chris said.

“The immunity idol! But how!?” Cameron asked.

“I found it in that one coffin challenge. Figured it’d come in handy if you losers decided to vote me off.” Jo said.

“I thought Scott had the statue.” Zoey said.

“That was just a fake I whittled, duh. Do you really think I’d tell you if I had it?” Scott said.

“Ugh, you’re the worst.” Zoey scoffed.

“Wait, so does that sha-mean…” Lightning said.

“Oh no.” Cameron said.

“Since Jo’s immune, we need to take a look at who has the second most votes. And with two votes, it’s Lightning!” Chris said.

“Sha-what!?” Lightning said in shock.

Cut to Lightning in the catapult where everyone was there. “This is so sha-unfair! Lightning was robbed due to that stupid immunity idol! What kind of bs is that anyway? Jo, you stink! I hope you lose!” Lightning angrily said.

“Whatever jockstrap, you’re an idiot. You couldn’t even tell I was a girl!” Jo said.

“Wait you’re a sha-wh-” Lightning tried to say before he got catapulted as he screamed.

“And then there were four! Who will win the million? Who'll get crushed while millions watch and laugh? Find out next time on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” Chris said 

VOTES

Confessional: Jo

“Hah, jockstrap’s not gonna realize what hit him.” Jo said as she showed a picture of Lightning saying "I’m sha-stupid"

Confessional: Lightning

“Good thing I managed to convince Bubble Boy ” Lightning said as he showed a picture of Jo with a laughing face drawn on it.

Confessional: Scott

“I hate Zoey more after the crap she did today, but Lightning’s stronger. He needs to go.” Scott said as he scribbled violent drawings on a picture of Lightning.

Confessional: Cameron

“Sorry Jo, I’m not letting you boss me around anymore.” Cameron said as he crossed out a picture of Jo.

Confessional: Zoey

“As much as I’d like to vote Scott, Cameron told me to vote Jo for now. Besides, he still has the idol.” Zoey said as she crossed out a picture of Jo.

BONUS CLIP

Lightning’s Audition Tape

Lightning was on a punching bag in the middle of a field. “Sha-bam! I’m the Lightning! Chris, if you’re wanting this, just know that you can make your show the best thing ever by including my sha-greatness! I’m the top athlete of my school and play tons of different sports like football, basketball, hockey, tennis, soccer, basketball and tons more that I don’t remember. It’s all so I can make my pops proud! Anyways, pick me and I’ll beat all these suckers with my hands tied behind my back!” Lightning said.

Chapter Text

“Previously on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island…” Chris began the recap. “an epic air battle turned into an epic fail when Cameron crashed her ride and her chances of winning. Zoey got shafted by Scott, Scott got scared by shark, and Lightning got chucked by the catapult after an idol play from Jo. We're down to the final four. Who's going to the finals? And who's gonna be cut loose? Yeah. Like that. Find out right now on Total! Drama! Revenge of the Island!” he ended the recap.

(Theme song)

Cut to a squirrel trying to hit a giant raccoon with a laser, only for it to punch it in the face, causing it to fall past Cameron sitting on a tree branch when Zoey came climbing the tree. “

“Ugh. Cameron. Do we have to meet all the way up here?” Zoey said.

“I'm sorry, Zoey. It's the only place that's private. Aside from the innumerable cameras.” Cameron said as they saw some cameras. “Anyway, we need to talk strategy. After what happened yesterday, we need to be prepared.” Cameron said.

“Yeah, who knew Jo would have gotten the idol.” Zoey said.

“We need to plan or else the villains will end up voting us off like what happened to Lightning.” Cameron said.

“Sounds good to me. Who do we vote today?” Zoey asked.

“Well, it’s between Jo and Scott. If one wins immunity, we’ll just vote the other. If neither of them do, then we’ll have to decide who’s the bigger threat.” Cameron said.

“Can it be Scott?  That jerk's kicked off so many people. Now it's his turn to feel the pain.

“Or is it?” Scott said as he looked at them from under a tree.

Confessional: Scott

“I was out setting snares to catch that annoying stupid shark, but I caught something better. Two losers.” Scott said as he held a snare.

“Talking about him really seems to make you angry.” Cameron said.

“After all the crap he did, I think I’m a little justified in being ticked off.” Zoey said as Scott wrapped the snare around the branch.

“Fair enough. Maybe I can convince Jo to join us too and vote off Scott. He’s way stronger than the two of us.” Cameron said.

“Awesome! Then it'll be three to one with no chance of-- Ah!” Zoey grunted as the branch snapped due to the snare. She managed to hold on as Cameron fell in front of Scott.

“Scott, what are you–Ahh!” Cameron screamed as Scott shoved him into another snare, sending him away.

“Today's forecast: geeky showers with a chance of nerd. And girl.” Scott said as Zoey fell in his arms.

“Scott? What do you want?” Zoey angrily said.

“Zoey. Nice of you to drop in. I just had a killer idea. Totally up your alley, here goes. You and me team up and vote off Jo.” Scott said which made Zoey burst into laughter before realizing he was serious.

“Oh. You're serious. Ow!” Zoey said before Scott dropped her.

“I know we ain't best buds and that I wasn’t trustworthy when we worked before, but you're not exactly a powerhouse. Do you really wanna go head-to-head with Ms. Gym Nut?” Scott asked.

“Better a gym nut than a jerk nut.” Zoey said as she got up.

“Oh, really?” Scott replied.

“Alright, yeah!” Jo cheered as she swung with a vine, doing flips in the air and high-fiving a seagull as she dove in the water

“Wow. That sure helped make my point. Well, your call.” Scott said.

Confessional: Zoey

“Ah, I hate it when Scott makes a point.” Zoey said.

Confessional: Scott

“That went well. But when someone hates your guts the way Zoey hates mine, it's always good to have a Plan B.” Scott said.

Cut to Jo playing basketball with a hoop on the side of the cabin. “Aw yeah, two points!” Jo said as she scored a goal when Cameron crashed next to her.

“Ugh…” Cameron mumbled.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t everyone’s favorite Bubble Boy.” Jo said.

“Um, Jo? I have a most advantageous offer to extend. Join forces with Zoey and I. Together, we'll vote out the dreaded Scott!” Cameron said.

“Eh, fine.” Jo said as she continued playing.

“Wha, really? Okay, great. We'll see you at the challenge! That was surprisingly painless.” Cameron said as he walked away, only to be launched away by a snare as he screamed.

“All right, yeah!” Jo said as she scored another goal.

“Hey, got a proposal for you.” Scott said as he came.

“What do you want, dirt boy?” Jo asked.

“I’m offering you a sweet alliance with Baron von Scottmeister.” Scott replied.

“Eh, fine.” Jo said as she continued playing.

“I always knew you were smart enough to know what to do. So long, Zoey!” Scott said as he left.

Confessional: Jo

“Couldn’t they have waited until I finished my daily morning work-out? Anyway, both sides have downsides and upsides. Scott’s stronger, but the nerds are a duo. I’ll need to think carefully on who to choose so I can win and prove that I’m the best!” Jo said as she twirled a basketball and then threw it at the camera.

Cut to everyone in front of the outhouse. “Challenge time! And since you've been abused so flagrantly, today's challenge is a super safe fun challenge!” Chris said.

“Yes!” Cameron and Zoey cheered.

“About time.” Scott said.

“Ugh.” Jo rolled her eyes.

“Get ready for bubbles, flowers, and cotton can–” Chris said before stepping on a snare and being launched into the outhouse.

“Ew…” Zoey, Jo, and Cameron said in disgust.

“My snare! I-I mean, Cameron's snare threw Chris into the outhouse!” Scott said.

“Whooee! I need five interns and a fire hose! ASAP! We'll get you out of there soon!” Chef said as he looked in the outhouse.

“Ugh. Those ungrateful puppets just crossed the line! Remember those nasty challenges, Chef? The ones that got the red light? Yeah, the light just turned green!” Chris said while stuck in the toilet.

“I'll bring the pain!” Chef said as he laughed evilly as some interns used dramatic lighting. “Okay, cool it.” he told them as they left.

Cut to everyone in front of countertops. “Listen up, dirtbags! I'm gonna push you 'til you break! Then I'll take the filthy little broken bits and give 'em another good breaking! No wimps are gonna make it to my finale. Do you understand?! First challenge, the cook-off!” Chef explained.

“Ha, a cook-off? What's next? A lawn-bowl-o-- ow!” Scott said as Chef threw a pan at him.

“Shut it or I'll shut it! Bring in the TD classic competitor!” Chef said as an intern brought DJ tied to a dolly with a blindfold.

“Hey! It's DJ!” Cameron said as Chef took his blindfold off.

“Were the dolly and blindfold really necessary!?” DJ asked.

“It was for my amusement, dough boy. You slime buckets are gonna cook something tasty. And this bag of mush will be the judge! You got twenty minutes to make a tasty lunch with whatever you find on the island! I believe in eating locally. Ready…” Chef said.

“Um, question. What are our options in the way of seasonings?” Cameron asked.

“Get cookin'!” Chef yelled in his face.

“Ah!” Cameron said as everyone ran away.

Cut to Jo running. “How am I supposed to find food in a friggin forest? I think Chef finally went insane. Apples? I guess that'll work.” Jo said as she saw some apples on a tree and began punching it to make the apples fall. The apple fell, only for some bees to come out of it. “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!” Jo angrily said as she ran away screaming while the bees chased her.

Confessional: Jo

“I get the animals here are mutants and all, but using an apple as a beehive!? What the hell is wrong with them?” Jo complained.

Cut to Cameron trying to reach some mushrooms on a tree that was wonkily shaped. “Come on, come on…” Cameron mumbled

“A little short on supplies, are we?” Scott mocked as he came.

“Very funny, Scott. I don't need your help.” Cameron replied.

“Oh, but I think you do. See, I was talking to Zoey earlier, and she seemed a bit worried about Jo.” Scott said.

“Really?” Cameron asked.

“Yeah, you see how good she is at this game. You saw the idol play yesterday and know how strong she is.” Scott replied.

“She is pretty physically gifted. Zoey has a good point.” Cameron thought.

“Glad you agree. Here you go.” Scott said as he picked the mushrooms and gave them to him.

“Thanks, Scott!” Cameron said as he left.

“No, thank you.” Scott said as he leaned to a tree, accidentally knocking it down on a beaver which began chasing Scott as he screamed.

Cut to an intern outside the washroom. “Hello? Someone give me a hand, I'm almost free! Oh no, Ah!” Chris yelled from inside as the intern grinned.

Cut to Zoey walking while Scott ran away from a beaver, Cameron ran away from a squirrel and Jo ran away from bees in the background. “Maybe I should make something safe. Like salad.” Zoey said.

Cut to Zoey mixing up a salad while humming when some vines came out of it and started beating her up with a spoon. “Ow! Ow! Ow! Is there anything non-lethal here!?” Zoey said.

Confessional: Zoey

“You know, I always thought being on Total Drama would be a cool experience but turns out seeing people get beaten up is more fun than getting beaten up yourself.” Zoey said.

Jo poured some oil into a pan only for it to catch on fire. “Well this isn’t good.” Jo calmly said as she poured water on it, only for the fire to get bigger. “That doesn’t make any sense!” she yelled as she threw it away, only for it to hit an intern as he ran screaming while on fire.

“These toxic mushrooms will make a delectable quiche!” Cameron said as he put some mushrooms in a pot.

“Quiche, huh?” Scott thought as he watched him.

Confessional: Scot

“Two can play that game. After all, it's like my papp y says. Fancy food is for fancy jerks. Besides, I don’t feel like thinking about something original.” Scott said.

Scott tasted the slop he made. “Hmm, tastes fine but could use a bit more… froginess.” Scott said and laughed as he made a frog spit in it. “Oh, and can’t forget the most important ingredient.” he said as he put some dirt in it.

Confessional: Scott

“Man, this stuff has no right to be this delicious!” Scott said as he ate dirt.

Meanwhile, Zoey was still being beaten up by the salad before she pulled on a mallet and hit the salad with it, knocking it down. “Ugh, I hope it doesn’t beat people up from the inside when they eat it…” Zoey said.

“Mmm, roachy. Delicious.” Jo said to herself as she put a maggot on a pan which puked in her face and then laughed.

“So, how are things coming along here?” Scott asked Zoey.

“Go away, Scott.” Zoey angrily replied.

“What? I didn't-- look! A bunch of abandoned puppies!” Scott said as he pointed away.

“Huh? Where?” Zoey said as she looked away while Scott put some poison ivy in her salad.

“My mistake, it was just a bunch of rocks.” Scott said.

“Are you going to buzz off or do I have to make you leave by force?” Zoey threatened.

“Yeesh, someone needs to take a chill pill.” Scott said as he left.

Confessional: Scott

“Poison ivy. Really adds that extra tangy zip!” Scott said as he showed a packet with poison ivy.

Cameron pulled out a pretty good looking quiche from the oven. While Scott pulled a shitty looking green one that looked like it was about to explode which even he was disgusted by.

Meanwhile, Jo saw that the maggot on the pan was now on her head. She tried to hit it with the pan only for it to jump away, causing Jo to hit herself instead.

Cut to everyone in front of their countertops. “Three, two, one! Spatulas down! Well, dish it up, cupcakes! Move, move, move!” Chef said.

“Today, I've made a delicious quiche!” Cameron said as he showed DJ his quiche.

“Mm…” DJ said as he sniffed the quiche.

“With toxic mushrooms.” Cameron added.

“Excuse me!?” DJ said.

“Next!” Chef said.

“I present... The Living Salad.” Zoey said as she showed DJ her salad.

“Are there spiders in there!?” DJ asked.

“Uh… maybe? Hey!” Zoey said as she was shoved away by Jo.

“I went with an Italian theme. Ginormous maggot cataloni in a cream sauce.” Jo said as she showed a maggot with sauce on it that hissed at DJ.

“Is that thing alive!?” DJ said as Jo hit it with the sauce can.

“What did I tell you? Stay down! Uh... fresh pepper?” Jo asked.

“Next!” Chef said.

“I made a southern quiche surprise. If you manage to keep it down, surprise!” Scott said as he showed DJ his quiche as an eye came out of it.

“What is that thing!? Who let you all in the kitchen!? Never cook again! No way am I eating that!” DJ screamed as he untied himself and ran away.

“Well, looks like we just lost our taste-tester. Rule change! You gotta eat all of your own weird grub.” Chef said.

“Ew…” Zoey, Jo, and Scott said in disgust.

“Yay!” Cameron said.

“You hurl, you lose. Who's got guts of steel and who's gonna blast a barf bomb? It's a throw-up throwdown when we come back on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” Chef said as the screen went to black.

Cut to everyone holding their food in front of a desk. “All right, com-pest-ants. Heh. It's time to eat the disgusting crud you cooked up before the break. Whoever finished their meal first without spewing wins the challenge. Man, this is gonna be nasty.” Chef chuckled.

Jo poked the maggot, only for it to hiss at her. Scott recoiled in disgust from his quiche and then saw Cameron’s. “Nice quiche. Great minds think alike, huh? Hey look! It's a blogger from Bubbleboyonline.com!” Scott said as he pointed away.

“Really? Where?” Cameron asked as he turned away, allowing Scott to switch the quiches.

“Nah, it was just a tree stump.” Scott said as Cameron turned back.

“Three, two, one. Eat it!” Chef said as he blew an airhorn. Jo scooped up some sauce from the maggot and ate it, immediately collapsing.

“Ah! Throat. So. Itchy!” Zoey yelled after she ate it, rubbing her throat.

Cameron took a bite from the quiche, only for his eyes to widen.

Confessional: Cameron

“It had a sharp, froggy and dirty note. But how?” Cameron thought.

Cameron and Zoey puked. “Ugh!” Jo grunted as she puked as well.

“Mmm. I loves me some good old fashioned mutant frog quiche.” Scott said as he finished the quiche.

“Challenge is over! Scott wins!” Chef said as Cameron and Jo sighed.

“Oh, come on!” Zoey complained.

“That's why he doesn't have to wear one of these tracking collars.” Chef said as he gave everyone but Scott tracking collars. “Challenge part two! I give you... Dork Hunter!” he said as he showed a GPS. “Challenge is simple. You're the dorks. I'm the hunter. You run off into the woods, I hunt you down. First dork to the flagpole wins! Pray that you make it before the dork hunter blasts you into a whole new dimension of pain! Brought a propelled spaghetti cannon, featuring my own special recipe. Chef rockets in your face extra spicy spaghetti. Dinner is served. On your face!” he explained as he pulled out a spaghetti launcher and then shot it, hitting an intern.

“Ah, ah, it burns!” The intern said as he ran away.

“Spicy. You got twenty minutes to run, hide, and say your prayers. Now move out!” Chef chuckled as they ran away screaming.

Cut to the interns outside the outhouse, holding a wine. “What's taking those interns so long? There's no way they could've forgot about me! I own them! More sewage? Help!” Chris screamed from inside as the interns turned the wine on as they laughed.

Cut to Cameron running. “Those mushrooms are not sitting well.” Cameron said as he puked.

“Hah, if Chef thinks he can track me, he’s got another thing coming. Ah!” Jo said as she came and tried to take the collar off, only to get zapped.

“Jo, stop! The collar seems to have an anti-removal feature, which sends a small electric current to the central nervous system.” Cameron said.

“Translate that to english, please?” Jo said.

If you take it off, it electrocutes you. If we could only short out the circuitry…

“Look, let’s make a deal. You get this thing off me, I'll get you to the finish.” Jo said.

“It's a deal.” Cameron said as they shook hands. “I know, I'll reconfigure my watch to send out a small electromagnetic pulse, re-route the battery feed, and... voila!” he said as he sent a current with his watch, removing the collars.

“Nice! Now let's toss these dumb things!” Jo said.

“I've got a better idea.” Cameron said as they saw a giant racoon.

Confessional: Zoey

“Tracking collars? Seriously? Between this and Mike being voted off, I've just about had it with this show! Ah!” Zoey said as she tugged at the collar, only to get zapped.

Cut to Chef chasing Zoey while laughing. “No! Chef! I'm fragile! I'm allergic to pain! I wanna live!” Zoey yelled as she ran, only to stop next to a unstable tree at the edge of a cliff.

“Fun's over, Dorkette!” Chef said.

“Okay, I give up! You win!” Zoey said.

“Let's make it official!” Chef said and blasted her with the pasta launcher.

“Ow!” Zoey yelped as she was launched backwards with the pasta into the tree, causing her to get stuck in it.

“Maybe I'll come back for her. If I remember. Not like she’s memorable anyway.” Chef chuckled as he left while Zoey began sobbing.

Cut to Scott walking. “No tracking collar, no Chef, no problem. Heh, I'm gonna strut all the way to the finish.” Scott chuckled as he walked, not noticing Fang was watching from behind a bush when he saw Zoey stuck to the tree. “Hah, well, look who it is. Got found huh? Not surprising” he chuckled.

“I can’t get out! Scott, please help! I’ll vote however you want, just get me out of here.!” Zoey sobbed as she tried to get out of the pasta.

“Wow, that’s pathetic. Just a few moments ago, you were threatening to beat me up and now you’re here crying for my help.” Scott mocked.

“Shut up! If you’re going to be useless, just go away and win while I can’t beat you.” Zoey sobbed.

“Hah, you never even had a shot of beating me. Y’know why? You’re weak and I’m strong. Like papi says, in this world only the strong like me win while the rest just sit there and wallow in self pity. Just keep that in mind. Maybe if you vote Jo, I could take you to the finals so you can finally do something semi-impressive. Well, that’s all. See ya loser, I need to claim my victory!” Scott laughed as he walked away Zoey began crying before noticing how unstable the tree was. She tried to get it to fall down and succeeded. In the process, the pasta broke, freeing her as she accidentally fell down the cliff. She began crying at the bottom and then saw the necklace Mike gave her was broken. She angrily clutched it in her hand and screamed into the air. She ripped off a piece of her sweater to use as a headband, marked her cheeks with black paint and bit a vine, using it to swing out of the cliff.

Cut to a montage of Zoey setting traps. She rolled a log, rolled a boulder, launched an arrow from a bow, talked with Fang about something as he grinned, raised a rock with a log, set a net trap, dug a hole and finally set a trap wire. “It's payback time! And I don't care who that's okay with!” Zoey laughed evilly.

Cut to Chef walking when he heard something on a tree. “Who's there? Hm...” Chef said as he looked around but couldn’t find anyone when suddenly some arrows were fired at him, making him yelp as he walked back and got caught in a net trap. “Whoever did this is gonna pay! Soon as I get down.” he said. The camera showed Zoey on a tree who laughed at him as she jumped away.

Cut to Chef on his ATV when he saw Jo and Cameron on the GPS. “This is too easy. You dorks are mine!” Chef chuckled as he fired into the bush the dots were on the GPS, only to hit a giant raccoon as it growled at him after it came out the bush.

“Tracking collars? I've been duped!” Chef said as he saw the collars on its tail. He chuckled nervously as he gave the gun to the racoon who shot him in the face.

Cut to Jo and Cameron running when Cameron collapsed. “Come on, Bubble Brain! Put some stank on it!” Jo said.

“Ugh, so queasy, Can't go on! Jo, you must take me to the finish. Fulfill your promise!” Cameron said.

“Nah. You actually expected me to keep a promise?” Jo said.

“I probably should have seen this coming.” Cameron sadid.

“I guess you aren’t as smart as you think you are. I’m only in this for myself!” Jo said as she ran away, not noticing that Cameron held onto her back.

Cut to Chef on his ATV when he saw Zoey on the GPS. “Huh? Zoey? I thought I left her back at the cliff. That girl is a glutton for p–” Chef said before a log swung onto his ATV, knocking him off it.

“Yeah! Snack on that old man!” Zoey laughed in a tree. Chef fired at her while she dodged as she jumped away.

“I may have pushed her too far.” Chef thought.

Cut to Scott walking in the woods when he saw the flagpole. “Ha. The finish. Now all that's left to do is touch the flagpole and win this thing.” Scott said when Fang jumped in front of him. “Huh? No! Not you! Not now! How did you even find me here!?” he said as he ran away while Fang chased him. Fang jumped in front of him as Scott tripped. “Ow! Ah, my ankle! Leave me alone, you freak! Why do you keep chasing me anyway?” he asked as Fang pointed at a gap in his tooth. “What? For your tooth? You have hundreds!” he said as Fang walked forwards. “Guess it's goodbye Scotty!” he yelped when Fang fell in a pit trap. “And hello victory! Yes! One of my traps finally worked! Wait. I didn't dig a pit trap.” he realized when Zoey came being chased by Chef..

“Get back here, girl!” Chef said as he shot pasta, only to hit Scott instead.

“Ow!” Scott yelped in pain as Zoey saw him and looked upset before grinning. She jumped over his head and shot an arrow at Chef which he dodged.

“Missed!” Chef said.

“Wrong!” Zoey said as she shot the arrow hit a vine, causing a boulder to be swung at Scott.

“Whoa!” Scott grunted as the boulder hit him, launching him away as Chef ducked under it as Jo came running with Cameron on her back.

“Wow, I must be gaining muscle mass. This running is making me almost kind of… tired?” Jo thought as she passed by Zoey and Chef holding their weapons at each other.

Goodbye, suckers! Yes, first to the finish! Hey Chef, how does it feel to be outsmarted? I’m the winner!” Jo cheered.

“You might want to think that again.” Cameron said as he touched the flagpole.

“Huh?” Jo said in shock as she finally saw Cameron on her back.

“Cameron wins immunity!” Chef said.

“What? Then what do I win?” Jo asked.

“Dinner.” Chef said as he shot her in the head.

“Ow! My head feels like it’s burning!” Jo yelped in pain.

Cut to the elimination. Scott now had bandages around his right arm and left leg.“Elimination time, dorks! One of you is going home tonight, except for Cameron, who has immunity.” Chef said.

“That was supposed to be my immunity, String Bean.” Jo angrily said.

“What did I do? I mean, other than steal victory from you. Heh.” Cameron chuckled nervously.

“Grr…” Jo growled as Cameron looked scared.

“Zip it! Jockette! You got to the finish first, and yet lost due to failing to notice the bubble lover on your back.” Chef called out Jo as she growled at Cameron.

“Nerdette! You got caught first and then went insane with all your crazy traps!” Chef called out Zoey who looked angry.

“Oh yeah, about that, why did you make all those traps Zoey?” Cameron whispered to Zoey.

“Nothing, I just finally stopped being weak.” Zoey replied.

“Huh?” Cameron said, surprised.

“Finally, Dirt Boy! You still lost even with no collar and got hurt badly in a sharky situation!” Chef called out Scott who rolled his eyes.

“Now to the votes! Let's see.” Chef read as he began reading the votes.

“Got one vote for Scott.” he read as Scott looked smug.

“One for Zoey.” he read as Zoey looked angry.

“One for Jo.” he read as Jo looked worried.

“And the final vote goes to…

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Scott!” he read as he tossed him a toxic marshmallow.

“What? You gotta be kidding me!” Scott said as the marshmallow landed in front of his feet.

Confessional: Scott

“I can't believe it! Zoey totally duped me! Guess I must've rubbed off on her.” Scott chuckled.

Confessional: Zoey

“Sorry, pal. Better luck next life. Now who’s the pathetic one?” Zoey mocked.

Confessional: Jo

“Not only did Bubble Boy blow up my balloon in the previous challenge, he also used me to get to the pole today. That’s two immunities he stole from me! He needs to pay. It might be 2 vs 1 now but I’m still going to win this!” Jo said.

Confessional: Cameron

“Well, I guess I’m in the Final 3 now. Too bad Jo also made it, she’s probably really pissed at me. Zoey’s behavior lately is also kind of concerning…” Cameron said.

Cut to Scott in the catapult. “I've been waiting to be the Hurlmaster of this game.” Chef said.

“And you're gonna keep waiting.” Chris said as he came with a jetpack.

“Chris!” Cameron, Jo, and Zoey said in shock.

“Yep! I'm the Hurlmaster around here. Y'see, Scott, the Hurl of Shame is both shameful and painful. So, I arranged for a friend to share your journey.” Chris said as Fang jumped in the catapult, making Scott scream. Fang took his tooth back from Scott and put it back in its place as he grinned. “It's my way of saying thanks. For flinging me into a pit of poo!” he said as he catapulted Scott while he screamed.

“Chris, good to have you back, man. I even saved you some quiche.” Chef said as he gave Chris a piece of mutant frog quiche.

“Chef! You are the man!” Chris said as he ate it and hurled.

“You are the Hurlmaster!” Chef chuckled.

“Who will be hurl next? How much are they gonna hurl before we hurl them? And when will I stop hurling? Find out next time on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” Chris said as he continued puking.

VOTES

Confessional: Jo

“I thought about it and I’ve come to the conclusion that the nerd duo needs to be separated. I don’t want to be ganged up on in the F3.” Jo said as she showed a picture of Zoey with a thumbs down drawn on it.

Confessional: Scott

“I was hoping Zoey would come to her senses, but it seems that she went insane instead. Whatever, I’m still voting Jo. She’s too big of a threat, and she and the bubble boy probably know that too. They wouldn’t vote a guy with a broken leg and arm over her.” Scott said as he drew a mustache on a picture of Jo.

Confessional: Cameron

“Well, Zoey really wants to vote Scott so I guess him? I still think Jo would be a better option...” Cameron said as he crossed out a picture of Scott.

Confessional: Zoey

“He needs to go.” Zoey said as she drew devil horns on a picture of Scott.

BONUS CLIP

Scott’s Audition Tape

Cut to Scott in the kitchen. “Camera on, Pappy? Okay, good. For my audition, I'm gonna demonstrate how my Pappy taught me to hunt for kitchen rats.” Scott said as he pulled out a bat. He chased after a rat with it and hit it off-screen while knocking some stuff down. “There's another critter! Ragh!” he yelled as he ran toward another one and hit it off-screen while knocking some stuff down again. “How do you like my moves, Chris? Pretty strong, huh? Call me, your little island won't know what hit it! I’ll crush all those other weaklings you picked into dust!” he said as he went in the middle of the screen and ran off chasing another rat.

Chapter Text

“Previously on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island…” Chris began the recap. “I took some time off. For personal reasons that I'd rather not discuss. Hey! Who edited that in there? Not funny, guys! Okay, that's better. Chef led the final four players in a revolting cook-off, which resulted in Cameron up-chucking eighty percent of his insides. Meanwhile, Zoey channeled her inner warrior, transforming into... Commando Zoey! Even Chef was scared. Jo's plan to use Cameron backfired, giving Cam the win. And a scheming Scott schemes his last scheme, and was voted out to sea. Which leads us to... What? Hey! No. No! Not funny! That editor is so fired. Ten players down, three to go! Only two will move on to the final round. Who will be left standing? Find out right now on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” he ended the recap.

(Theme song)

Cut to Jo beating a Cameron punching bag in the girls cabin. “Yeah, come on, uh! How's that? How 'bout this, smart guy? Uh! Uh!” Jo said as she punched it while Cameron watched her through the window and looked nervous.

Confessional: Cameron

“I still can't believe I won the last two challenges! But the way Jo’s taking it, I sorta wish I hadn't.” Cameron said.

Confessional: Jo

“Hello, my name is Cameron. And I'm a sneaky challenge-stealer. I made this Cameron-looking punching bag to give me extra motivation. Also to freak him out so he’s too scared of me to win. What's that? You want me to punch you again? Bam!” Jo said as she held the bag and punched it again.

Cut to the mess hall where Cameron and Zoey were sitting together. “Jo is furious at me for winning the last immunity! She's focused all his energy on pumping iron and psyching me out! Me! The guy who gets psyched out by feathers and big drinking cups. Ah!” Cameron told Zoey as she bent some forks when Chef brought a giant cup and put it on the table, freaking him out. “Are you even listening to me?” he asked.

“You know what you gotta do?” Zoey said as she got up.

“Start backing away from you quietly?” Cameron asked.

“You gotta grab your fear by the throat and throttle it into anger!” Zoey said.

“Anger?” Cameron asked.

“The thing that can turn a passive small town teen who sews her own clothes into a hardened extermination machine! If you want to be strong and win, you can’t just stand there whining like a weakling.” Zoey said as she shot an egg with the fork.

“Extermination machine…?” Cameron asked.

“Yup. Who do you think told Fang about where Scott was going and set the trap to injure him yesterday?” Zoey said.

“Wow, that’s uh…” Cameron said.

“If I can send Scott home, I can do the same. Besides, whatever she's thinking can't be that bad.” she said.

“Oh, she's gonna eat me alive. I know it!” Cameron said.

“Ahem!” Jo said, making them look at her as she sat on another table as she bit off a piece of the Cameron punching bag after pouring salt on it and then laughed.

“Ah! It's like she's chewing my soul!” Cameron said and began hyperventilating.

“Easy, little guy. We are going to take Jo out like I did to Scott. Two on one, no mercy.” Zoey said.

“Yeah?” Cameron asked.

“No pity!” Zoey said.

“Yeah.” Cameron said.

“No prisoners!” Zoey said.

“Yeah! It's gonna be a friendship finale! Don't leave me hanging! Ow!” Cameron said as he offered a high-five to Zoey, and she returned it too hard, making his hand hurt.

Confessional: Cameron

“Zoey’s changed a lot since the previous challenge. Ah, no big deal. As long as she protects me from Jo. Ah!” Cameron yelped in fear as Jo punched the confessional from outside, breaking a piece of it.

Confessional: Jo

“Hah, Bubble Boy’s practically terrified of me now. As he should be. Even if it’s a two on one, I’m way stronger than both those losers. They might as well just hand me the million now, I mean, we all know who’s winning.” Jo said.

Cut to everyone in a weird saturated forest with mutant animals. “Final 3! Welcome to... The Mutant Forest of Terror!” Chris said.

“Why are there some many animal-” Cameron tried to say before he walked backwards, accidentally falling in a hole that opened before Zoey caught him.

“Uh, yeah. Watch your step. Biohazardous sinkhole. They put the "mutant" in Mutant Forest of Terror.” Chris said as Zoey pulled Cameron out.

“Oh, thanks teammate.” Cameron said.

“Don’t fall again. I can’t have you dragging me down.” Zoey said as Cameron looked upset.

“They're also where Chef gets his Toxic Marshmallows of Loserdom. One of you gets to eat that later.” Chris said as Chef 

“Well it ain’t gonna be me, that’s for sure. One of you two losers is going down today!” Jo mocked.

“You wish. I am going to personally make sure you go down.” Zoey threatened.

“Pfft, I’d like to see you try.” Jo replied.

“Wanna say that again?” Zoey raised her fist.

Confessional: Jo

“Looks like Nerdette let her anger consume her. On the one hand, that’s pretty cool. On the other hand, it’s probably going to make things tougher.” Jo said.

“The challenge. Race through the mutant forest to find the elusive Chrysanis flower. First player to present it to me wins immunity.” Chris said.

“Which means they get to pick who to take with them to the grand finale!” Cameron said.

“Yeah. Thanks for doing my job, Pillow Face.” Chris said.

“Wait. Flower picking? I thought this was a challenge, not a tea party.” Jo said.

“Oh, it's a challenge. For example…” Chris said as he hit a plant next to him, making it spew fire at Jo as she screamed as jumped up and down to put the fire out as Cameron looked scared.

“You could have just told me about the plants being dangerous!” Jo said.

“Sure, but where’s the fun in that? This place is full of those pretty little tea party flowers. But the flower you're looking for is attached to a very special plant. A venus flytrap. Or as I like to call him, Larry.” Chris said.

“Dionaea muscipula! They eat meat!” Cameron gasped.

“Ha! Then I guess you're safe, Pipe Cleaner.” Jo mocked.

“Yeah, 'cause it'll be too busy eating your big mouth that can’t shut up.” Cameron said.

“Why you little-” Jo said as she tried to attack Cameron who hid behind Zoey.

“Walk away, control freak.” Zoey threatened.

“Ho-ho-ho there. Save the insults for when you're in the forest and probably on fire. It's funnier for us that way. Find Larry and you find the flower. Oh, and watch your step. Those sinkholes are everywhere.” Chris said.

“Question. How are we supposed to find this Larry?” Zoey asked as Chris showed a map.

“Ah, I see. We each get a map.” Cameron said as Chris tore the map into three pieces and gave everyone one piece.

“Pfft, no. You each get a piece of the map. You think printer cartridges grow on trees? This map shows you where you can find the X. You can work together or…” Chris said as Jo burst into laughter.

“Man, that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all day! See you losers later!” Jo said as she ran away.

“Or you could go it alone.” Chris said.

“So, we’re working together right?” Cameron asked Zoey.

“As long as you don’t drag me down.” Zoey said as they combined their pieces.

“Okay, here's the path. But Jo must have the final location on her piece. So we follow our maps until the trail runs out.” Cameron said.

“And then let my warrior instincts take over. Let's roll. And watch out for those sinkholes.” Zoey said as she ran off.

“No problem. I notice they send a jet of stream when stepped on, thus creating a hole one could fall through if not paying attention.” Cameron said as he fell in one while screaming before he was saved by Zoey.

“Wow. You've become very strong too.” Cameron said.

“Meh. It was like lifting a doll.” Zoey said.

Confessional: Cameron

Cameron was on a weigher. “I weigh more than a doll. Oh…” Cameron sighed as he tossed a doll on the other side, making him go higher.

Confessional: Jo

“I don’t need a stupid map to find some giant fly trap anyway. I mean, it’s supposed to be giant right? Would be kind of hard to miss it. Though it’s kind of annoying having to do all the work by myself with no ally. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to dump Lightning so fast.” Jo thought when a monitor with Lightning on it was dropped down.

“I told you you'd regret it! Ha! I win! Sha-whoo!” Lightning cheered.

“What the…” Jo said as she grabbed the monitor.

“He left a pre-recorded message. Just in case.” Chris’s chuckling voice came from outside the confessional as Jo groaned and threw the monitor down.

“Ugh. Lousy nature. Why does everything look the same?” Jo complained as she ran. She stopped when he saw a fly dash toward a fire breathing plant, causing it to get burnt. “Stupid freaks!” she laughed as they glared at her. “Oooh! Like I'm scared of a weird flower and his loser fly buddy. Ah!” she grunted as she was tackled by the fly while the plant breathed fire.

Cut to Cameron and Zoey running. “Um, Zoey? Are you okay? You don't seem quite yourself.” Cameron said as Zoey looked at the map and then stopped and began sniffing.

“End of the trail. Warrior instincts, don't fail me now. Duck!” Zoey said as she ducked and made Cameron duck as well as the fly passed by with Jo riding it while punching it.

“Ah! Take that! Ah! And that! Ah!” Jo said as she beat up the fly as they crashed into a tree, causing Jo’s map to fall off her hands.

“The map! Yes! I need that piece!” Zoey said as she ran toward it.

“Uh, you mean we need it, right? Right?!” Cameron said.

Confessional: Zoey

“Cam’s my friend, I guess. But he's such a word nerd. "I", "we", "you", "me". What does it matter? We're on the same team, right? He’s honestly just being kind of annoying.” Zoey said.

“Hello, Zoey? Need clarification here! Ah!” Cameron said in shock as he saw the fly in front of him. “My, what impressive eyes you have. So many photoreceptors.” he said as the fly’s eyes became heart shaped as it kissed him. “I didn't mean it like that!” he said as he ran away, breaking out of it.

Meanwhile, Zoey got the map and nearly fell in a hole. “Whoa! Whoa!” Zoey grunted as she tried to balance.

“Hold on! Thanks. See you at the Dock of Shame, sucker!” Jo mocked as she came and took the entire map from her and ran away as she fell but managed to hold on to the edge.

Meanwhile, the fly was still trying to kiss Cameron. “Shoo! Shoo, fly, shoo!” he said when a squirrel on a tree ate the fly like a frog.

“Sweet relief. That was no way to experience a first kiss. Thanks for the save!” Cameron said as the squirrel burped.

“Cam. Jo has the whole map and you're hiding from a house fly?” Zoey said as she came.

“A, that fly was as big as a house, and B, Jo has our maps?!” Cameron said.

Confessional: Cameron

“So while I'm being hit on by a giant mutant fly, she gave Bossy McPushypants the entire map?” Cameron said.

Confessional: Jo

“Hah, can’t believe how easy it is to trick these losers! I’d say it was like taking candy from a baby, but that’d be unfair to the baby. Anyway, now that I have the entire map there’s no reason for me not to win. This game is in the bag!” Jo said.

Cut to Jo running while holding the map. “Just a few more steps to go! Okay, list of things to buy with the million. New workout equipment, golden trophy, own personal gym, high quality punching bags…” Jo thought as she ran.

Cut to Cameron and Zoey. “Well, how do we find Larry now?” Zoey asked as they walked.

“Hm. Larry is a Venus Flytrap. They're found in nitrogen-poor environments, like wet bogs.” Cameron said as Zoey pulled him out of a hole as he almost fell and then punched away a plant that tried to breathe fire at him.

“There was a bog on the map! Just northeast of us!” Zoey said.

Confessional: Zoey

“Is it just me or am I doing everything while Cameron acts as mutant bait? Am I being weak by helping him through all this? I bet I could do just as good, if not better of a job if I was by myself.” Zoey said.

Cut to Jo running. “Okay! According to this map, I just have a few more feet to go! There! Are you kidding me McLean!?” Jo angrily said as she saw that she was on the side of a cliff with an X drawn on the ground.

“Hey, I said the map was for finding X, not Larry!” Chris laughed from a nearby loudspeaker as Jo broke it.

Cut to Cameron and Zoey walked him. “Uh, are you sure this is the right way? Ah! Ah! The bog.” Cameron grunted as Zoey pulled away when he almost fell in a swamp.

“That plant must be around here somewhere. Larry.” Zoey gasped as she saw a giant venus fly trap with a flower in its mouth.

“It's huge.” Cameron said.

“No, he's colossal!” Chris said from the loudspeaker as he sat on a chair at the finish with Chef, watching everything from a monitor. “Cameron and Zoey live long enough to pick that flower? And where the heck is Jo? Find out when we return on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!” he said as the screen cut to black.

Cut to Chris looking at a book with pictures of him and Larry. “Ah, Larry. He used to be such a sweet, cuddly, little guy. We were inseparable, until I left him on the island and kinda forgot about him for a few years while the toxic waste piled up, mutating him into a freakish botanical mistake. They grow up so fast.” Chris said as he began crying while Chef rolled his eyes.

Confessional: Chef

“I knew coming back to the island would dig up old memories,but crying over a stupid plant? That's just pathetic.” Chef said.

Cut to Ezekiel coming out of a hole. “Finally made it, eh? Now I just need to-” Ezekiel said before he saw Jo running toward him.

“Stupid McLean and his fake map and his dumb show with the dumb million…” Jo mumbled as she ran, only to trip over Ezekiel.

“Oh no-” Ezekiel screamed as he fell back in and crashed into the bottom as he screamed.

Cut to Zoey and Cameron. “Think, Zoey. How am I gonna get that flower?” Zoey thought.

“I have an idea! We could hop across on the stepping stones.” Cameron said as he pointed at some stones in the swamp.

“Yeah, stand back, I'm on it.” Zoey said as she began jumping. She stopped at one and looked at it to see it was actually a turtle. “What the? Whoa, whoa, whoa! Ha…” she screamed as the turtle threw her backwards onto Cameron. “Stepping stones, huh?” she angrily told Cameron as he chuckled nervously.

“Whoops. My bad.” Cameron chuckled nervously.

Confessional: Zoey

“He has one job and that is to be smart. And he can’t even do that right!? He’s just so useless and weak!” Zoey complained.

“Good job on wasting time for no reason!” Zoey said.

“How could I have known that it was actually a really grumpy mutant turtle?” Cameron replied when Jo came.

“Ugh, of course. Stupid map!” Jo complained as she tore up the map when she saw them.

“How did you arrive after us if you had the map?” Cameron asked.

“The map wasn’t even to find Larry, just a dumb X scribble at the side of a cliff. Whatever, this game isn’t over yet!” Jo said as she jumped on the turtle and landed inside Larry’s mouth and held the flower. “Yes! Hey suckers! Look who got the flower before your two crybabies! Gonna cry? Ah! Ow!” she grunted as Larry closed its mouth, eating her.

“It-It ate Jo like she was snack sized!” Cameron said in fear.

“Guess he's not a picky eater.” Zoey smirked.

“Aw, let me out, you overgrown fern!” Jo yelled inside Larry as it spit her out at a tree.

“What do you know? That big mutant does have taste.” Zoey said.

“Why does that thing's saliva smell like hot dogs…?” Jo said as she sniffed herself as Larry opened its mouth again, showing the flower.

“Cam! The flower, let's grab it!” Zoey said.

“But... but Larry. He's so big and carnivorous. And oh, sweet Mother of Pearl, he's looking at me like I'm desert!” Cameron said in fear.

“Snap out of it! You gotta dig deep and find your inner warrior! I need that flower to win!” Zoey said as she shook Cameron.

“Is that flower more important than my safety?” Cameron asked.

“I never said that! I’m just trying to win here!” Zoey said.

“Fine! Okay. From what just happened to Jo, that flower must be Larry's bite sensor. Problem is, there's no way to grab the flower and clear his mouth fast enough.” Cameron thought.

“Hmm... I got a plan.” Zoey said.

Cut to Zoey lowering Cameron onto Lar ry with a rope. “Um, Zoey? For the record, I don't like this plan!” Cameron said.

“You don't have to like it! Now focus, Cameron! It's all about teamwork!” Zoey said.

Confessional: Cameron

“Teamwork, as in I'll stand over here and help you get turned into mutant plant food!” Cameron said.

Confessional: Zoey

“Like I'm gonna let Cameron lower me down. My pet hamster, Ms. Puffycheeks is stronger than he is.” Zoey said.

Cut to a hamster in a house in front of a growling cat as it punched it away.

“I must be… allergic to mutant pollen. On second thought, I don't even like flowers. Or winning.” Cameron said as he was lowered.

“Come on, Cameron! Eye of the tiger!” Zoey said.

“Woohoo! Ah, yoink!” Jo cheered as she swung toward Cameron with a vine, kicked him away and got the flower as she landed on the other side.

“Whoa!” Cameron grunted as he crashed into Zoey.

“This flower is mine! So long, suckers!” Jo said as she ran off.

“Way to let Jo take the flower!” Zoey said.

“Why do you keep acting like this!? Am I really nothing more than a liability for you?” Cameron replied.

“Oh please, we both know you’ve been useless and weak all this time. Maybe I was the same before, but at least I’m trying to be stronger while you just cry about everything!” Zoey said.

“How am I weak? I was the only reason we found Larry, not to mention how many times my intellect helped us before? The old you wasn’t useless either, remember how you saved me with those mutant goats in the air mobile challenge? Your new obsession with power is really upsetting.” Cameron said when they heard Larry roar and get up to walk with its roots as it ran after Jo. “So, are we still a team?” he asked.

“Well, I guess.” Zoey replied.

Confessional: Zoey

“Cam may be as effective in battle as a noodle, but he’s right. He did help me a couple of times. I… guess I’ve started to only care about power after all. A-Am I doing the right thing?” Zoey thought.

Cut to Jo running with the flower. “Aw yeah, no one’s stopping me from winning now!” Jo said as she ran, only to be grabbed by Larry. “Whoa! What? How did you get here? Nobody said you had feet!” she said as Zoey came running.

“Yoink yourself!” Zoey said as she jumped and took the flower as she ran away.

“Hey, get back here with my flower! Whoa!” Jo said as Larry tossed her away and chased after Zoey. “That nerd is so toast when I get out of here! Ah! Ow, my sweatpants!” Jo said as her head got stuck in a plant as she crashed into it while a plant spewed fire at her.

“Cam, catch!” Zoey said as she threw the flower at Cameron.

“Got it! Sorry!” Cameron said as he caught it and sneezed. He looked behind him to see Larry and screamed.

“Throw me the flower! I'm open! Cam, Larry's gaining on you!” Zoey said.

“Take your time, Cam! Larry hasn't had a decent meal since I stopped feeding him three years ago. Poor guy must be famished.” Chris laughed at the end.

“Cam! Pass it here, I can win this! Stop being so pathetic!” Zoey said.

“Why do you keep mocking me like this? Who cares about how strong or weak someone is when they’re your friend? You always talked about wanting to have friends but now all you care about is winning just like Scott or Jo! I don’t know how, but you really changed for the worse!” Cameron angrily said as he stopped, causing Larry to eat him as he dropped the flower.

“You're welcome, Larry!” Chris laughed.

“Sorry, Cam! No time for chitchat!” Zoey said as she got the flower and began running away.

“Help! Zoey!” Cameron yelled inside Larry’s mouth.

“Cameron?” Zoey said in shock as he noticed this and stoped.

“Ah! Zoey! Ah!” Cameron yelled.

“I should leave him. He'll just get in the way of me winning that million dollar prize like he always does. It’s his own fault for stopping anyway.” Zoey thought but then began reminiscing about the times she and Cameron were together.

(Flashback) “So stoked to be here! I've been watching Total Drama forever! Who knows? Maybe I'll even make some new friends.” Zoey said.

(Flashback) “You can do it, Cam! Focus!” Zoey said while holding onto a branch.

(Flashback) “Nice one, Zoey!” Cameron said as he came.

“Thanks! Good luck, Cam!” Zoey said as she went back on her kart and drove away.

(Flashback) Meanwhile, Cameron was still holding on the zeppelin as it fell. He let go as it screamed, only for his jacket to be caught by a mutant goat. Zoey was on another next to it and winked at him. “Thanks, Zoey.” Cameron said.

(Flashback) Mike, Zoey and Cameron were sitting in the mess hall and laughed as Cameron wore a spaghetti wig shaped like Chris’s hare.

(Flashback) “Which means they get to pick who to take with them to the grand finale!” Cameron said.

“But no amount of money could buy a true friend. I'm coming to save you, Cam!” Zoey said as she took off her headband and ran toward Larry as she dropped the flower. “Hey, Bulb Breath! Get ready for a small town smackdown!” she yelled as she jumped toward Larry as he ate her. “Let us out, you overgrown flyswatter!” she yelled as she punched him from inside as Jo came and saw what was happening.

“Huh. I guess I should do something. Don't worry! I’m coming to save you!” Jo said as she ran, only to get the flower instead. “Not! See ya!” she laughed as she ran away while Larry chased after her as she saw the finish. “The finish line!” she said.

“Hurry up! Come on, Larry! She's almost made it!” Chris said. Jo continued running as Larry chased her.

“Ah! Wha!” Jo groaned as she jumped into the finish before Larry could catch her, dropping the flower.

“And Jo wins immunity! Larry, buddy! Look what I rescued for you!” Chris said as he took the flower and showed it to Larry who spat out Cameron and Zoey.

“Ah!” Cameron and Zoey grunted as they crashed into the ground while Larry took the flower from Chris as he hugged him.

“Who's a good man-eating plant? Larry's a good man-eating plant. Yes you are, yes you are!” Chris said as he scratched Larry’s jaw as he stomped in joy.

“Wow, that is seriously messed up.” Jo told Chef as they watched this.

“You’re telling me.” Chef said.

Meanwhile, Cameron and Zoey grunted on the ground covered in plant saliva. “Cam?” Zoey said as she got up and offered a hand to Cameron.

“Thanks, Zoey.” Cameron said as he grabbed her hand.

Cut to Zoey and Cameron in front of the cabins. “Well, it's pretty cool we made it to the final three. I never would have imagined myself making it this far when I watched the show.” Zoey said.

“Yeah, I didn’t think I’d get this far either considering the whole "Bubble Boy" thing. It's too bad one of us has to go. I’m sorry I cost us the challenge today Zoey. If I hadn’t stopped like that, we might have won.” Cameron said.

“Hey, buddy. Cheer up! It’s alright. I kind of went on a crazy power trip and forgot what was really important. At least now no matter what happens, we still have our friendship.” Zoey said.

“Yeah. What caused you to change your whole mindset anyway?” Cameron asked.

“It’s just… When Chef was hunting us, at first I got caught and got stuck to a tree due to the pasta. Scott found me and laughed, mocking me about how weak I was, saying I had no shot of beating him. That just… caused something to snap inside me due to all my anger. I wanted to hurt and humiliate him badly and show him that I could be strong.” Zoey said.

“Zoey, you are strong just the way you are. Power isn’t the only type of strength. You might not be super athletic like Lightning or Jo but the strength of your heart makes up for it. You and Mike were my first real friends since I couldn’t really get out of my bubble before, and that means a lot to me.” Cameron said.

“It’s kind of the same thing for me as well. Back in my town, I don’t really get along with most people there so I’ve just been lonely for most of my life. I’m glad I was at least able to make some here.” Zoey said as she put a hand on his shoulder.