Chapter Text
Gavin's POV
"Gavin, sweetheart, why won't you talk to us anymore?" My mother cries into my dads shoulder, his arms wrapping around her as an attempt of comfort.
"Son, it's been forever since you've last talked to us. The last time any of us has heard your voice is- I can't bloody remember how long it's been since you've last talked to us!" My dad raises his voice slightly in upset. "We're worried about you, Gavin... Please, say something."
Why would they be worried? their fifteen year old son isn't able to annoy them now with his teenage bullshit. They should be happy I'm not talking ever again.
My mum and dad had made several attempts to get me to speak. Hell, they'd even talked to my friend Dan and had him beg me to talk. But every single attempt they made was futile, and it always would be.
~~~
"Gavin! Breakfast!" I heard my mother call from downstairs, effectively waking me up from my light slumber and making me get out of bed to dress, brush my hair and teeth, and then going downstairs with my school bag along with my notepad and pen.
I shook my head 'no'.
"No breakfast, hon?"
"No thanks. Love you <3" I scribble down onto the notepad in my hands and show it to her. With a smile and shake of her head in understanding, I kiss her on the cheek and slide out the door to walk to the curb where I wait for the bus to come and once again make it to the hell hole known as school.
To anyone, I was just a normal teenage kid that went to this school, had no problems, and just plain out thought I didn't talk to anyone because 'I'm too good for everyone.' But inside, I was broken. Broken and lost and I don't really know what to do anymore but I'm hanging on. To what? I'm not exactly sure at the moment.
I have my friend, Dan, and my mum and dad, but to be completely honest, I feel like Dan is the only one keeping me alive at this point. Yeah, I know, it sounds selfish but it's true. Sadly.
Dan has always been there for me, ever since the incident that happened back in fourth grade. No one talks about that day. Not me, not Dan, not mine or his parents- not anyone. None of them talk about it. 1) because I practically begged them not to & 2) because they feared I would go into another anxiety or panic attack.
I've suffered with severe depression and anxiety ever since that day.
It seemed like just the slightest thing nowadays could send me off into an attack. If someone even so much as looked at me or, heaven forbid, stared at me, I would immediately freeze. The only rational thoughts I would have in those moments is 'they know.'
Like they know how dirty, filthy, pathetic, unwanted and worthless I am. But that's just like me, jumping to stupid conclusions like that so fast, as if they could simply read my whole past just by looking into my eyes.
But I can't take any risks. So I don't get close to anybody. 'It's not like they'd want to anyways.'
My entire school knows about me not talking, they just ignore it. They pretend like it's not there; like I'm not there.
"G'morning, Gavin!" My friend Dan says cheerfully yet calmly as he walks up to me, his stuff for his first period class already in his arms.
After I gather my stuff as well, we walk to first period together, Dan taking his seat on the very far side, completely opposite of me in the front while I take my seat in the corner in the back row closest to the door. These are our assigned seats so I can't really complain.
"Gavin!" I hear Mr. Oak call out my name. I raise my hand and he nods before checking my name on his clipboard and continuing down on the list and call of names for attendance.
Between me and the staff of the entire high school, we've been through enough to know that I won't be exactly talking for... Quite a while. So they've given up all hope. 'Much like everyone else has.' No one really even tries anymore to be honest. I'm just a lost cause to be simply put.
The usual chatter of the classroom arises as the teacher leaves the room to do whatever they so please so long as they stay their seats. But it's not like he'd notice anyways, y'know, being gone and all.
Everyone's either talking about what they did over their weekends, the latest and upcoming football games, the most recent gossip, and so on and so forth. Which leaves me to myself, ignored; forgotten.
The chatter quiets down slight as one if the ladies from the office enters the room, leaning over to the teacher to tell him something. I keep my head down, figuring it's nothing important or involves me.
Then Mr. Oak points at me, her eyes focusing on me with a sad smile as she calls my name, motioning for me to follow her outside the room.
I reluctantly grab my things, glancing at Dan and I see him giving be a questioning look to which I just shrug my shoulders and continue to follow the lady into the office. The principal, obviously sitting in his chair, has a grim expression on his face, eyes dark as he begins to explain why me why I was needed. But my hearing just sort of tunes out everything except a few words that rush and scream in my head.
"-Mom and Dad."
"-house on fire."
"- didn't make it out in time."
"We're terribly sorry for your loss. If you need anyone, our counselors are always here for you."
Dead. My parents can't be dead, they aren't! They'd be smart enough to get out before it got too serious.
Without thinking, I drop my things in the floor and bolt up, running out of the office, school doors, and then in the direction of where my house is. It isn't too far away thank goodness.
'Just a joke, it's just a joke, all in my head, I'm okay; they're okay,' I try to think positively, but immediately fail when I stand in front of my house, feeling my heart dropping into my stomach and the welled up tears I had been fighting to not let go finally fall.
My house is still standing, undoubtedly always will with how sturdy it is, but I can still see firemen trying to put out the fires that are stillaflame from the fromt door and every single window; smoke billowing up into the clear blue sky.
Now, as stupid as I am, I run into the burning house, the door finally falling off its hinges and onto the ash covered floor. Men yell, calling out for me to stay out and come back outside. But I don't care, dammit, these are my parents we're talking about and I'll be damned if I don't see them myself.
A man grabs me by the arm, yanking me back but just before he turns me around, I catch a glimpse of my parents bodies, or what remains left of them, up in flames.
One of the men, the chief I assume, puts a hand on my shoulder, trying to talk to me, but I can't understand what he's saying right now, it's just a jumble and blur of words through my muddled brain.
"MOM! DAD! NO!" I shriek, voice cracking from not using it in so long, and start thrashing against the man, trying to get out of his reach until I'm weak and unable to fight the arms pulling me back and away from the slowly collapsing house I had just left an hour ago in perfect condition.
Without realizing, Dan has his arms wrapped around me tightly, making me face away from my house as it goes inward, making horrible creaking and crashing noises. I let out an embarrassing whimper and hide my face further into Dan's chest, probably soaking the front of his shirt in tears but he doesn't seem to mind as he just holds me, not daring to say a word because there's nothing anyone can say; words are far from helping anything.
After what seems like forever, which is really only an hour, all of my neighbors that had gathered started to go back into their houses, the firemen had finally left, having quailed the fires and only leaving the the quietly sizzling ashes.
"Come on, Gav... Let's get you cleaned up. You can stay with me for a while, yeah?" Dan suggests, letting me go from his tight embrace in favor of leading me to his car when I nod an okay.
Honestly, I don't think anything could get any worse than this.