Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Hey Shou~~”

“No.”

Hizashi had the audacity to pout at this. “You don’t even know what I was going to say!”

Shouta rolled his eyes and sighed. “Hizashi, I’ve known you since we were fifteen. Do you think I haven’t learned your ‘I’m gonna ask you to do something and you won’t like it’ voice in the past six years?”

Hizashi laughed awkwardly and swung an arm over Shouta’s shoulder, causing the butterflies in the man’s stomach to flutter. He had been flustered by the blonde from the very beginning, when he was forcefully befriended during their first year of high school but over the past two years it only increased. For the longest time he refused to name the feeling, but eventually he accepted he had a crush on one of his best friends and only recently resigned himself to his fate. He hadn’t done anything about it, of course, but it also meant that he thought about the man more than usual.

Which didn’t mean much since he was already thinking about his friend more than the typically allocated best friend time ever since the end of the first year. But that was beside the point.

When he blinked himself into awareness, he was met with the best puppy eyes Hizashi could muster. Ah, spacing out only to come back to himself to be met with those gorgeous peridot eyes looking at him pleadingly was decidedly not safe for his heart.

And Shouta was a weak, weak man. Despite being subjected to those puppy eyes for the past six years, his immunity was non-existent, and he’d always given in. Who wouldn’t, though? (A tiny part of his mind - that sounded not unlike Oboro - was whispering that probably most people and he was just that gone. He refused to listen to it.)

“What is it,” he asked with a heavy sigh.

Hizashi perked up immediately and beamed at him.

“Sooo… you know that we have this huge 10-year reunion with my American side of the family  at Christmas, right?”

“Of course. You've been talking about it since August.”

The whole Yamada family, four generations in total, were supposed to meet at the Yamada residence in the countryside for two weeks during Christmas break. Hizashi was excited to meet his cousins and nephews that he hadn't seen since the last reunion when he was a pre-teen.

“Yeah, so… My parents asked if I'll bring a date, and I panicked and said I would, and…”

Shouta's heart started racing. If he understood what Hizashi was getting at…

“Cut the crap, Yamada.”

Hizashi’s cheeks tinted pink. “So I kinda told them I'd bring… Well, you.”

Shouta looked at his best friend incredulously. He was a great man, a brilliant man (the five languages he spoke fluently were the best testament to that), but unfortunately he was lacking in the brain cell department when it came to day-to-day situations. Seemed like Oboro was in possession of a brain cell for the day when the phone call happened.

“Why me?”

“Ah, you see,” Hizashi laughed nervously and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “I said I'd bring a date, and they asked if it'd be you? And I panicked and said yes, and please, Sho, say yes, I'll do anything for you.”

Shouta rubbed his hands, pretending to be freezing due to the snow falling around them. Why would his parents assume that Shouta would be Hizashi's date? Did they suspect something since the last time they visited the Yamadas during the summer? God, was he that obvious? Did it mean Hizashi was that oblivious or was he simply not interested?

He was pulled from his thoughts by something warm put over his hands. When he looked down, he realised Hizashi put his red woollen gloves on his hands.

“Hizashi, you don't have to…”

Hizashi simply grinned. “You know I'm always running warm! So, what do you say? Please, Sho, please, please, please, please. It'd mean the world to me.”

Shouta sighed. It was a bad idea. It was a bad, bad idea and yet…

… He didn't want to say no.

He nodded, and Hizashi cheered loudly. “Thank you so much! You won't regret it, I promise!”

I already do, Shouta thought, but it was too late. Why did he agree? Beside that, what did it actually entail? Would they have to be all lovey-dovey in front of the whole family? Would he receive Hizashi's undivided attention and affection knowing it's all fake?

God, why did he agree to it?

Shouta decidedly did not think about pretending to be Hizashi’s boyfriend for the next month. The moment his thoughts even strayed towards those parts, his heart started racing and his hands were getting clammy. He also didn’t mention it to Oboro and Nemuri, knowing they would tease both of them relentlessly, as they did ever since the end of the first year in school. He should never have admitted his crush to Oboro; it was probably the top five mistakes of his life. The constant teasing was unbearable, not because it was annoying him (that too) but because it was driving home the fact he’d never have what he desired with all his heart. Hizashi? In love with him? Yeah, sure.

Except now they’d be pretending to be boyfriends for two weeks, and Shouta wasn’t sure how he was supposed to survive that.

Before he knew it, he was standing on the platform, waiting for the shinkansen to Sapporo. The Yamada estate was just outside of the city, a huge mansion in which he, Oboro and Nemuri got lost in more times than they could count when they visited the family the year prior. It was rather quiet at the time, with only the four of them and Hizashi's parents and grandparents. Shouta couldn't even begin to imagine how noisy it was going to be when the Japanese-American side of the family would fill the rooms.

He was so lost in thought he didn't notice Hizashi - his fake boyfriend - appeared on his side and planted a loud kiss on his cheek. He couldn’t help the blush that rose to his cheeks, and on instinct he ducked his head to hide behind a curtain of hair.

“What was that?” He asked with a strained voice, avoiding looking at the blinding smile Hizashi was sending his way.

Hizashi’s smile turned sheepish. “Ah, I thought we may get into character before arriving!”

Character. Right. Because there was no way, in this reality or any of the alternative ones, where Hizashi returned his affections.

He tried to scowl at his best friend, but the effect was probably ruined by the redness of his face. Hizashi laughed nervously.

“Sorry, sorry!” He said placatingly just as their train stopped at the platform. Hizashi reached for Shouta’s suitcase and boarded the shinkansen without so much as a second look. Shouta sighed and followed him, and soon they were sitting in their assigned seats. Shouta immediately took out his travel neck pillow to make himself comfortable. He closed his eyes, hoping to get a bit of final peace before their performance at the estate began but he couldn’t with Hizashi being fidgety in the seat next to him.

He cracked one eye open. “Everything ok?”

Hizashi froze. “Y-yeah, sorry. Just kinda nervous? Haven’t seen the peeps in ten years!”

Shouta sighed. “Just listen to some music, it always calms you down,” he suggested and tried to face his friend without changing the position much.

Hizashi smiled at him softly (and oh, how Shouta wished that smile would always be on him, and only him) and reached to his backpack for the earbuds. He extended one of them to Shouta.

“Wanna join?”

Of course he wanted to. He always wanted to do things together with Hizashi, and they’ve been sharing earbuds since their first year at UA. Before Hizashi went wireless, they even had a headphone splitter that allowed the trio to listen to the music Hizashi DJed for them. When Hizashi switched to a much better quality wireless earbuds, Oboro, ever the wingman, let Shouta get the second bud most of the time, while claiming his music taste changed too much to stand Hizashi’s choices. Hizashi was offended for the entirety of three seconds and then he happily went into DJ mode.

Now, Shouta took the bud, placed it in his left ear, and waited patiently for Hizashi to start the first song.

As usual, the music worked like a charm, and soon Hizashi was sitting comfortably, not an ounce of the previous restlessness to be found. Meanwhile, Shouta let the soft pop music and the movement of the shinkansen lull him to sleep.

The next time he opened his eyes, he found a strand of blonde hair blocking his vision. He stiffened for a brief second before he realised he had migrated to Hizashi’s shoulder in his sleep. He almost sat up when Hizashi’s arm snaked around his shoulders and pressed him further into the blonde.

“Go back to sleep, Shou, we still have two hours,” Hizashi murmured, his lips brushing the top of Shouta’s head.

Well, now he simply couldn’t sit up or Hizashi would see the blush that covered his cheeks. He put down the pillow, turned himself to his left to be more comfortable on the man’s shoulder, and inhaled the scent of Hizashi’s citrusy cologne and his strawberry shampoo as discreetly as he could. It was good. It was familiar.

He fell back asleep almost immediately and dreamed of Hizashi kissing him gently in the snow.

Two hours later, he was shaken awake. He blearily looked up at Hizashi who was grinning at him.

“Time to go, Sleeping Beauty,” he said, amusement lacing his words.

“Sure thing, my Prince Charming,” Shouta replied sleepily without thought, missing the way Hizashi’s ears turned just the tiniest bit of red.

The trip to the Yamada estate took about half an hour by taxi from the station. The mansion looming in the distance was no less impressive the second time and Shouta felt the anxiety in his stomach rising, both with the overwhelming feeling the residency caused with its sheer size and the realisation of what he signed up for.

Hizashi put a hand on his knee and squeezed reassuringly. Of course he noticed Shouta was stressed.

“It’s gonna be fun,” he said with a smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

Shouta nodded numbly. Sure. Fun. Pretending for two weeks to be a boyfriend of your best friend with whom you happen to be madly, desperately in love with was everyone’s idea of fun.

Once they arrived, Hizashi quickly took their luggage out of the trunk and took Shouta’s hand to lead him into the building. They’ve barely managed to take off their shoes in the genkan - filled with at least a dozen pairs of shoes and boots - when they heard a loud squeal from down the hallway; Shouta barely had time to blink when a flurry of blonde hair assaulted his vision and a young woman in her twenties barrelled into them, throwing her arms over their necks to bring them into a hug.

“Ami!!” Hizashi exclaimed and put his arms around the woman’s neck. “God, you’re so tall,” he giggled, patting her hair.

“So are you, you freaking giraffe!” she exclaimed in response. It may seem like an exaggeration, but compared to her, who seemed to be about 165 cm, it definitely rang true. Both men were over 180 cm.

She turned to Shouta. “Oh my God,” she said excitedly in English, “is that him?”

Shouta frowned. Did Hizashi mention him to his American cousins?

See, contrary to popular belief, Shouta’s English wasn’t bad. In fact, he could understand it quite well and speak a little less well. The only reason his friends thought his language skills were abysmal was because from the get-go, Shouta pretended to understand jackshit so Hizashi had no choice but to tutor him. Even now, when he had English as a mandatory linguistic elective, his best friend helped him.

It was a little white lie Shouta told his friends in order to further torment himself with his crush’s presence.

Hizashi blushed a little, furthering Shouta’s confusion, and introduced him in Japanese, “Ami, this is Shouta. Shouta, this is my cousin, Ami. She’s a year younger than us.”

She beamed, smile so similar to Hizashi’s. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Shouta!” She said in Japanese.

Shouta nodded in response, still a bit confused by the whole interaction and why his friend would be so flustered. He didn’t have time to think on this much though, because suddenly they were surrounded by an army of pre-teens, all chirping their greetings in Japanese, and tugging both men towards the living room.

“Obaasan, Ojiisan! Mums!” Hizashi cheered and ran to give every member of his family a big hug. Shouta hovered in the entrance, more than slightly overwhelmed with the amount of people. He bowed to Hizashi’s grandparents and his mums and scanned the room; it seemed there were about five kids, five or six people their age, and at least six people the age of Hizashi’s parents. It was a lot.

He didn’t have time to get too uncomfortable; Shouta didn’t even notice when Hizashi got by his side, taking his hand and lacing their fingers together.

“Ok, Sho and I are gonna rest a bit after the trip!” He announced.

Shouta looked at him grateful. Four hour trip definitely didn’t require resting and Shouta knew his friend did it to give him some respite from the crowd.

“Oh, I’ll show you your room!” Aki, Hizashi’s mum, stood up and led them in the opposite direction of the rooms they stayed in during summer.

“Mum?” Hizashi asked, curiosity in his voice.

“We figured you may need a room with a bigger bed,” she chuckled, and Shouta’s eyes widened at the implication.

Surely they wouldn’t have to sleep in one bed, right? Sure, it wouldn’t be the first time as they used to have sleepovers but two weeks?

Hizashi’s grip on his hand tightened, and when Shouta looked at him, the freckled cheeks were covered with a blush.

Was he that uncomfortable sharing the bed?

Shouta exhaled slowly just as they stopped in front of the door to their room. Aki bid her goodbye and returned to the rest of the family while Hizashi opened the door to reveal a room much bigger than the ones they stayed in previously, with a plush carpet and kotatsu in the middle and a king sized bed with satin-looking covers. It looked incredibly comfortable and unbearably couple-y.

Hizashi hesitated next to him and then came up to the bed, where he sat gingerly and timidly patted the duvet. “Wanna nap before we face the hellish Yamada family?”

Well, that was a silly question. Shouta wanted to nap about ninety percent of the time.

They settled on the bed after changing into more comfortable clothes, a decent space between them.

So much, in fact, that they were basically falling from the edges. Both were stiff and radiated discomfort, the fake-relationship weighting on them. Shouta could only hope it wouldn’t destroy their friendship.

That was the last thought Shouta had before falling asleep. The next time he blinked, it was already dark outside, and there was an odd weight on his chest. He looked down and saw Hizashi’s head nestled on his chest, the blond clinging to Shouta, not unlike a koala would to a tree.

Instead of freezing up, Shouta chuckled and made himself more comfortable, bringing his arms around Hizashi’s shoulders to hug him tighter. His friend sighed contently and nuzzled into his chest, and Shouta took the opportunity to lean in and press a soft kiss to the top of his head. He lingered, inhaling Hizashi’s shampoo, heart aching with longing.

Much sooner than Shouta would have liked, Hizashi started stirring awake. He eased his embrace and let Hizashi come to his senses slowly. The blond sighed stretched his arms, nearly hitting Shouta, before opening his eyes and gazing up blearily at his friend.

“Hi,” Shouta whispered with a soft smile.

Hizashi smiled, soft and sleepy, and so intimate; “Hello, handsome,” he replied and let his head drop on Shouta’s chest again. He mumbled something against the skin.

Shouta made a questioning noise.

“Do we have to,” Hizashi sighed and rolled off Shouta to stretch his whole body. Briefly, Shouta mourned the loss.

“Weren’t you, like, super happy to meet them?” Shouta asked with amusement.

Hizashi spread out his limbs and flailed, not unlike a distressed starfish.

“I just want to stay in bed with you,” he whined.

Shouta felt his ears heating up. Platonically, he reminded himself, Hizashi just likes to cuddle.

“Come on, we can cuddle all we want after your duties are done,” he said, flipping the covers over and standing up. He extended a hand to Hizashi in an invitation, and the man took it to hoist himself out of bed. He was still pouting though and rested his chin on Shouta’s shoulder. Confused, Shouta snaked his arms around his waist and hugged him. Hizashi let out a happy sigh and they stayed like that for a moment, but eventually the obligations called. Quite literally, they were interrupted by Hanako, Hizashi’s 25 year old cousin, knocking on their door.

“Be right there!” Hizashi said and reluctantly stepped out of Shouta’s embrace.

They dressed up quietly, Shouta’s mind still reeling from the interrupted hug. Sure, Hizashi was tactile but this… this felt different. He couldn’t quite name it but he could feel the electricity in the air between them.

They left hand in hand, their fingers laced together and Shouta prayed to whatever kami might listen that his face wasn’t as red as it felt.

Hanako brought them to the dining area, everyone else was already seated around the low table and the actual feast was spread out. Shouta didn’t think he’d ever seen so much food at once in his life. There were appetisers, miso soup, at least three types of fish and meat and enough rice to feed a small army (or Oboro).

They were seated between the American cousins who immediately drew Hizashi into the conversation. Shouta was content to listen to them, chiming in from time to time but he mostly focused on nibbling on his tuna and wakame.

As the dinner went on, it got louder. It was very loud, in fact, but he should’ve expected that with so many people. Surprisingly enough, he didn’t mind it; as people moved around the room, they approached the couple to greet them, congratulate them and talk a bit. Everyone was as friendly and inviting as Hizashi, and Shouta… he would be lying if he said he hated it, even if it hurt a bit that everyone thought they were a couple. Nevertheless, he felt accepted and at home, something that couldn’t be said about his own family.

After the dinner they moved to the living room and the grandparents focused on Shouta, all welcoming smiles and warm crinkled eyes, insisting that he tell them about his studies. Shouta was more than happy to talk about his teacher’s degree and his minor in psychology and the grandparents listened intently. It was all going well, in Shouta’s opinion, when the dreaded moment arrived.

“We’re so happy for you boys,” Obaasan Rei said and Shouta did his best not to freeze. Or start crying.

“Oh yes. It was so obvious how fond Hizashi is of you when you last came,” Ojisan Akio added. Nodding to himself, he said, “We’ve known it was only a matter of time.”

Shouta bowed and mumbled his thank yous, suddenly wanting to get out of the conversation as soon as possible. His ear heated up at their comments and once again he wondered if he was that obvious. He looked over to Hizashi, a small smile involuntarily gracing his lips. His racing thoughts calmed down the tiniest bit when he looked at his friend.

“Ah, young love,” Rei sighed wistfully and followed his gaze to look at her grandson. She smiled when she saw him deep in the conversation with his cousins, Taguchi and Akari.

“Go join him, I’m sure he already misses you.” Akio nudged Shouta, and he was both relieved and reluctant to go. He did, though, and managed to beeline towards Hizashi without being snatched by another member of the family.

He approached the trio who was standing in the corner and talking in hushed voices; they didn’t notice him coming up, and Shouta hovered, considering interrupting them, when he heard what they were talking about.

“I can’t believe you finally got the guts to ask him out, dude,” Taguchi whispered in English and bumped Hizashi’s shoulder playfully.

“Riiiight!” Akari squealed immediately. “After pining for so long too!”

Hizashi’s face turned bright red, and he elbowed the girl in the ribs. “Not so loud,” he hissed.

The whole conversation was in English, which was odd enough, and Shouta was considering if he misunderstood something. He was fairly certain he knew what ask out and pining was (thanks, Nemuri) but it didn’t apply to their situation. Or maybe Hizashi had an actual boyfriend but didn’t want to introduce him to his family yet? At that thought Shouta felt a chill form in his stomach.

He quietly stepped away from the trio and was immediately drawn into a circle of kids who were playing rock-paper-scissors and wanted him to be a referee.

When he was just about to reach the limit of his socialisation for the day, Hizashi snatched him, excused the both of them, and they made their way to the bedroom. Shouta immediately plopped down on the bed and curled in on himself. Hizashi set up his phone to play a soft, calming playlist - something he had made for Shouta for when he felt overstimulated - and laid down next to his best friend, gentle fingers carefully running through his hair. Shouta leaned into his hand, too tired to pretend it wasn't everything he wanted. His heart was filled with affection for his friend, who had always understood him and helped ground him and never once complained about Shouta’s need for quiet. He loved this man so much.

He dozed off to Hizashi humming along to the tune and his soft touch.

Chapter Text

He woke up with something tickling him; he scrunched his nose and opened his eyes just a smidge and his vision was filled with blond hair. He could feel Hizashi’s weight in his arms, and he blushed when he realised they’d somehow moved around enough to be cuddling during sleep. It was understandable though; despite the room being quite toasty, it was still winter, and a human’s natural reaction was to seek warmth during cold months.

Shouta tried to slowly untangle himself from Hizashi’s limbs but was met with a low-pitched whine; and Hizashi held him tighter with his arm thrown over Shouta’s chest. The man chuckled and ran his fingers through the long hair, mindful of post-sleep knots. Despite the slight amusement at the situation, he couldn’t help the pain he felt. Oh how he ached, longing to wake up like this with Hizashi in his arms every day. All he wanted was to shower him with affection, to show him how much he cherished him and appreciated his joy, optimism, and drive to be better.

Shouta sighed to himself, and either it woke up Hizashi or he was on the verge of waking up because suddenly Shouta was looking into a pair of big, green eyes.

“Everything ok, Shou?” Hizashi asked sleepily, rubbing sleep away from his eye.

Shouta nodded and pet his hair. Hizashi replied with a lazy smile and plopped himself back on Shouta’s chest.

“Wish we could stay like this forever,” he murmured and dozed off again - which leftShouta reeling from the comment. Hizashi didn’t mean it like that, right? He meant it in general, “ it’s comfy here” way and would’ve said the same to Oboro if he were there… Right?

After making sure Hizashi was deep asleep, Shouta finally managed to get out of bed. He took a quick shower and changed into a pullover and jeans Hizashi made him pack. He didn’t even know he owned clothes like that, but if Hizashi insisted, who was he to deny?

He entered the dining area where two of Hizashi’s uncles and three cousins were sitting. As soon as he sat down, he was drawn into a conversation about his degree. To his surprise he talked animatedly, diving deep into challenges the homeroom teacher position poses. He didn’t even notice Hizashi entering behind until it was too late; the blond plopped himself down to him, put his hand on Shouta’s knee and kissed him on the cheek.

“Morning, babe,” he whispered and started greeting the rest of the family, seemingly oblivious to the fact Shouta nearly choked on his own spit or the fact that his face was bright red, competing with the red porcelain bowls set on the table. His heart rate sped up, and he could hear blood in his ears - and yet he shouldn’t be so surprised. They are pretending to be a couple after all. He just didn’t expect Hizashi to be…this affectionate in public from the get go. It made sense, of course, but…

His train of thought was interrupted by cooing from his left, and when he turned, he noticed Maki with her elbow on the table and resting her cheek on her palm.

“You two are so sweet,” she said, eyes sparkling. “You know, Hizashi talked about you all the time and we all really hoped you’d finally get together.”

Shocked and flustered, Shouta just stared. A million questions ran through his head. What in the world could Hizashi tell his cousins they were under the impression they should be together? Why did Hizashi talk about him at all? Was his face as hot as it felt? Could Maki see the panic written all over…

Hizashi’s manicured hand landed on his, grounding him and stopping his racing thoughts. He took a couple deep breaths and looked up at Hizashi, who was staring at him with soft, concerned eyes. Shouta smiled weakly, turned his hand to lace their fingers together and squeeze Hizashi’s hand four times - a non-verbal confirmation that Shouta was ok. It was a system they came up with a long time ago during one of the hot, lazy summer nights, wanting to be able to communicate with each other in a way no one would understand. They had their elaborate handshakes with Oboro, but this was theirs.

Hizashi’s smile grew wider at the reassurance and he got back to his conversation. When Shouta turned, he was relieved to see Maki was already occupied by another of the aunts and was paying him no mind.

After breakfast, the whole family bar Hizashi’s grandparents went on a trip to Zoo Asahiyama; both the kids and cousins their age were excited - the kids hadn’t been to the zoo yet, and the cousins had only vague memories of the place. Even Shouta had to admit he was looking forward to it. He’d never been to the zoo during winter time and it was sure to be spectacular in the white snow.

And spectacular it was. The animals looked absolutely magical in the winter scenery, especially the polar bears. Deers were difficult to spot, but they managed; the kids were all happy to see Bambi!!! The most popular, of course, were penguins, but not among the kids. No, the most excited was Hizashi, who ran up to the enclosure and whisper-yelled at Shouta to come over quicker. When Shouta just smirked at Hizashi and continued his leisurely pace, the blond ran up to him and dragged him across the path, managing to slip on the one patch of ice in the entire zoo.

They tumbled, but thanks to Shouta’s quick reflexes, ironed during his karate lessons, he grabbed Hizashi by his waist and turned them around, taking the brunt of the fall. He grimaced from the impact, wheezing when Hizashi’s elbow managed to hit him in the stomach. His boyfriend tried to scramble off him with apologies, but Shouta kept him in place with firm grip.

“Are you ok?” he murmured and tucked away a strand of hair that escaped Hizashi’s bun.

Hizashi, rosy-cheeked and breathing heavily (and oh, how often Shouta imagined Hizashi looking like that, though maybe in a different scenario…) managed to nod, and Shouta sighed with relief. He thought he may have heard a shutter sound to their left but was too focused on Hizashi. The man was looking at him with big, green eyes filled with an emotion Shouta was unable to name, snow falling around him and lips slightly parted. He looked beautiful, amazing, ethereal and… very kissable.

Without thinking, Shouta leaned in and brushed his lips with Hizashi’s. They were just as soft as they looked and faintly tasted of cherry chapstick.

He heard Hizashi’s breath hitch and quickly pulled away. Fuck, fuck, fuck, why did he do that! His brain has truly made its exit. He was so lost in the moment he forgot for the briefest second that they were just friends, and he gave in to his desires. He was an impulsive idiot …

“Shou?” Hizashi asked quietly, sitting up in Shouta’s lap. His cheeks were rosy but Shouta couldn’t tell if it was because of the kiss or the cold. At the very least, he didn’t seem to hate his guts. He helped Shouta sit up too; nimble fingers took his hat off and started checking the back of his head, looking for injury.

“Thank you for saving me,” Hizashi grinned slightly, a smaller version of his bright smile. The blush that adorned his freckled cheeks seemed to darken when he looked Shouta in the eyes.

“Always,” Shouta replied with a shrug.

They finally managed to pull themselves up, and once they reassured the whole family that they were okay, they proceeded forward. Hizashi stayed in the back with Akari and Maki, and Shouta could’ve sworn he asked for the photo someone took when they were laying on the ice. He tried to come up with a rational explanation and figured he probably wanted to text Oboro to show off how clumsy they both were. What was weird for Shouta, though, was that he asked for the pic in English. It wasn't like he needed to practise his English, nor that his American cousins had problems with Japanese. So why would they insist on speaking that language?

Next they went to the tunnels under the penguins’ enclosure, one that allowed the visitors to see penguins swimming in the water. Predictably, it was crowded and noisy, unlike the rest of the zoo, and Shouta quickly felt overstimulation creeping up. He tensed up, and his hand felt sweaty; he was about to tell Hizashi to continue without him when the man slipped his headphones over Shouta’s ears and fumbled with his phone to put on an instrumental track. The headphones themselves helped immensely with their noise-cancelling system, and the track covered the remaining noise. Shouta immediately relaxed and took Hizashi’s hand to gently squeeze it two times: thank you. Hizashi just smiled in response and gently tugged Shouta forward. After a couple steps, he put his arm around Shouta’s shoulders and kept it there for the rest of the visit, to Shouta’s quiet joy.

Back at the mansion, another feast was prepared. Shouta was slowly getting used to the amounts prepared for the whole family, but this time, he barely recognised most of the dishes - it was an American night, so among the strictly Japanese dishes, were burgers, hot dogs and something Shouta suspected was chilli (he had it once upon Hizashi’s insistence). He ate some chilli (and he had to admit, it was good) but omitted burgers and hot dogs, which looked suspiciously greasy.

Unlike the previous night, the kids were sent away and the adults brought out sake, whiskey and soju and the party started. Shouta, already tired after the trip to the zoo, was further exhausted by the noise and conversations at the dinner, and by the time alcohol rolled around he was overstimulated to the extreme. He didn’t want to leave Hizashi yet, though; the thought he’d be left alone was nearly making him cry, and he wanted Hizashi to have fun. So he put on a brave face and allowed himself to lean into Hizashi’s side. It was warm and soft, and Shouta could feel the tension melting away.

He spied the blonde’s hand lying on the table, and without thinking, Shouta reached out to take it into his own hands. Instead of intertwining their fingers, he started playing with Hizashi’s rings, twisting and turning them. They were different textures and width and made for relaxing fidget toys, especially the three silver rings with purple gems in the shape of triangles stacked onto each other.

Hizashi leaned in to whisper into his ear. “Whatcha doing, babe?”

Shouta shrugged, almost not blushing at the pet name.

Almost.

“Wanna go to bed?” Hizashi asked quietly, after noticing the tension in the set of Shouta’s shoulders. Shouta shook his head.

“Come on, you must be tired…”
“But you’re having fun,” Shouta protested weakly, focusing on Hizashi’s ring finger that was suspiciously void of any rings. Oh how he'd like to put a ring on him one day…

“We can have fun in the bedroom too, come on,” Hizashi helped him stand up and stuck his tongue out at Taguchi, who for some reason snickered at Hizashi’s comment.

On their way to the bedroom, they passed the kid’s rooms and noticed Asami had her light on. Hizashi quietly knocked on the door and opened it enough to poke his head in.

“Everything ok, princess?” He asked the ten year old. She either responded very quietly or not audibly at all, Shouta assumed, as he didn’t hear anything yet Hizashi quickly entered the room and sat down next to her on the bed.

“Want me to go for your mum?” He asked gently, scooping the little girl in his arms and plopping her down in his lap. When she shook her head, Hizashi hummed thoughtfully, clearly trying to come up with a solution. Hesitantly, Shouta came up to them and sat on the edge of the bed too.

“Hi, Asami,” he said softly. The girl gave him a wobbly smile. “Do you want your uncle Hicchan to sing you a lullaby?” He asked, ignoring Hizashi’s terrified look.

Asami whipped her head around to look at her uncle with big, pleading eyes. “Please?” She asked, puppy eyes turned on to maximum. It worked like a charm.

Hizashi smiled at Shouta with relief and then focused on the little girl, his melodic voice carrying a tune of a lullaby his mother used to sing to him when he was a kid. Asami leaned back, resting against Hizashi’s chest, and she reached out her hands and made a grabby motion at Shouta, who looked at her confused. When she pouted, he sat closer and gave her his hand, which she happily took and cradled to her chest like a plushie. After that, it didn’t take long for her to doze off.

Asami was falling back asleep, Hizashi was playing with her hair, singing softly and looking at Shouta with tenderness in his eyes and Shouta… Shouta couldn’t help the longing. Or his imagination that replaced Asami with a kid similar age but theirs. And boy, did he want to have kids with Hizashi one day… he never thought himself a family man but seeing Hizashi tending to his little cousins was certainly changing that stance. He was so attentive, and patient, and paternal, and it was, frankly, really hot.

He didn’t even notice that Hizashi stopped singing and managed to free his hand that was being held hostage. Right now, the blonde was looking at him with an emotion that he once again couldn’t name but made his heart stutter and cheeks colour red.

He cleared his throat. “We should go,” Shouta said hastily and left the bedroom without looking back at his friend.

The following days were both heaven and hell on Earth. They’d wake up cuddled together. Hizashi was getting more touchy-feely in order to sell their relationship to his family; fingers intertwined, soft touches to Shouta’s arm, leaning in to whisper into his ear. He’d throw his arm around Shouta’s shoulders and keep it there while they talked with the family, which was nothing new, except now there were implications and Shouta had to listen to all the sweet words and cooing how adorable the two of them were together, how they knew it was only a matter of time before they got together and “Oh gosh, you’re so cute!” (that last one being uttered most often by Hizashi’s cousins, Ami and Chieko). Most of it was said to Hizashi in English, adding how happy they were that he finally grew balls, which still confused Shouta. He assumed his English was not as good as he thought and maybe he was misunderstanding something. He couldn’t ask Hizashi, as it would give away his skills.

He thought he might choke on his drink when Kiyoko, the oldest of the cousins and with toddlers of her own, asked when would he make an honest man out of Hizashi. Thankfully his friend was quick to cover for them, claiming they were waiting to finish the universities and establish themselves professionally.

All this to say, Shouta was having a really hard time with everyone thinking that they’re such a good couple, and he wasn’t sure how much his heart was going to take. He was currently sitting alone at the table, moping, while the rest of the family went to the private onsen, when his vision was filled with blonde hair. He raised his head slightly, confused, and realised Hizashi was standing above him, letting his hair fall down around them, creating a curtain between them and the world.

“Everything ok, Shou?” He asked quietly, and Shouta nodded.

“Sorry, just tired I guess,” he mumbled in response.

Hizashi beamed at that. “Great! Wear it,” he said and put Shouta’s jacket on his shoulders. He dumbly obeyed and as soon as he was dressed up, Hizashi dragged him over to the garden. Distantly, Shouta realised it was snowing but he didn’t have much time to focus on it as he was hit in the face with… a snowball.

He looked at his best friend quizzically, who was already preparing another shot.

“Fight me,” Hizashi challenged with a wide grin. And well, who was Shouta to deny him anything? In no time they had a full scale duel, ducking behind the trees and trying to sneak up on each other behind the statutes. Their clothes were soaking, their wet hair was sticking to their faces, and Shouta genuinely couldn’t remember the last time he had so much carefree fun. But even Hizashi’s bright laughter couldn’t sway him; oh no, he was going to win this.

And if he was going to win by sneaking up on Hizashi and tackling him to the ground, no one was protesting.

They laid in the snow, their chests heaving and their faces mere inches apart. Shouta was able to see snowflakes that landed on Hizashi’s eyelashes, framing his eyes like a beautiful sculpture and this close, he would be able to count his freckles (there were one hundred seventy nine of them; he knew, he’d counted them already back in high school). He leaned in and brushed their noses together, eliciting a giggle out of his friend. It was good. He could stay like this forever.

Hizashi looked at Shouta from under his lashes and rolled away, much to Shouta’s disappointment.

“Come on, Shou! Let’s make snow angels!” Hizashi cheered and started sweeping his arms up and down, childlike wonder on his face. Shouta couldn’t help the laughter bubbling in his chest, but he followed his best friend. Soon there were snow angels all over the yard.

“Boys, what the hell are you doing!” Aki’s terrified voice boomed across the yard and they lifted their heads to look at all the family giggling and taking pictures of them.

They looked at the gathering and then at each other and burst out laughing. Oh, what a sight they must have been, soaking wet, slightly shivering, hair in an utter disarray. Shouta never wanted this moment to end. Hizashi rolled onto his side and was looking at him with a small, intimate smile and Shouta didn’t even try to resist the urge to cup his cheek and run his thumb along the cheekbone.

“You look beautiful,” he murmured reverently and Hizashi’s eyes widened comically but before the blonde could respond both mums, Aki and Hinata, were all over them, ushering them inside and stripping off the wet clothes. They were forced to quickly change in the bedroom and then sat at the heated kotatsu, blankets over their shoulders and mugs of hot chocolate in their hands. It happened so quickly and efficiently they didn’t have a moment to talk, and Shouta was stewing in anxiety that he overstepped somehow. Sure, Hizashi was calling him handsome left and right, but he didn’t mean it. Unlike Shouta.

His worries melted away when Hizashi scooted closer and laid his head on Shouta’s shoulder. Alright, so he hadn’t ruin everything yet. Between the kiss in the zoo and the compliments, though, he was on the right track to let his biggest secret spill - and in the presence of no less than twenty people.

Perfect.

His secret stayed safe despite the rising desire to just pin Hizashi to bed in the evening and kiss him senseless. He settled for snuggling; they didn’t even try to sleep on opposite ends of the bed anymore, they were cuddling right as they got undercovers. They still had almost a week at the mansion left, and Shouta was already mourning the loss of their newfound closeness that would follow.

It was a day before Christmas Eve and the young adults of the family decided to have a separate party just for them. The drinks were out, snacks were all over the place and Shouta was drunkenly laughing with Taguchi and leaning heavily into Hizashi, seeking his warmth.

“Oh, oh!!” Reika squealed suddenly, looking at her phone. “Zashi! You said Sho is a Scorpio, right?”

Shouta could feel Hizashi nodding. Scorpio ?

“OK, SO, ‘ their relationship is full of emotion, loyalty, and passion. Cancer admires Scorpio's strength and mysterious aura, while Scorpio appreciates Cancer's nurturing and compassionate heart. Together, they create a strong and supportive bond that can weather any storm’,” she said, reading from her phone.

“Oh my GOSH,” Ami squealed in English, “you’re practically soulmates!!” She gushed in Japanese and Shouta just knew his face was getting red.

“Right?!” Reika agreed. “You were like, totally made for each other!!”

Oh, how he wished for it to be true.

Reika continued scrolling through the Zodiac match. “So it seems the only problem you have is communication, because both signs ‘tend to hide the way they feel. They prefer keeping emotions safe from scrutiny. A Cancer and Scorpio pair will only reveal how they feel when they develop a sense of safety.’” She looked up at them with a wide smile. “Good thing you have this figured out!”

Shouta nearly scoffed. Yeah, right. Of course he felt safe with Hizashi. That’s precisely why he’d never be able to admit his feelings to the man. And listening to the cousins gushing over them, as if they were match made in heaven, was getting difficult.

Taguchi said to Hizashi in English, “man, I can’t believe a nerd like you bagged such a hottie” and Shouta’s brain might have shut down when Hizashi replied that he was the luckiest guy on Earth. Hizashi a nerd? Him a hottie? In what world! He quickly sobered by remembering that it was all an act. Or that he misunderstood something, what with Taguchi’s heavy Texan accents.

He was about to stand up and excuse himself, the situation getting to him more than he’d like, when Maki called them both over to the corner of the room.

They exchanged confused looks but got up and came to her; Hizashi opened his mouth to ask her what was up but before he could get a word out, she and Ami started giggling and Maki pointed over their heads.

Still confused as hell, they looked up and saw a mistletoe above their heads. Oh, Shouta had a vague memory of an American tradition involving a mistletoe and… kissing?

His gaze dropped to his friend who was staring at him with a bright red face and was biting his lip.

“Kiss, kiss, kiss!” the cousins chanted in unison and Hizashi slowly stepped into his personal space.

“We don’t have to,” the blonde murmured but Shouta… Well, Shouta was feeling selfish and greedy. He wanted to taste Hizashi’s lips again. His hands found Hizashi’s waist and he pulled their bodies flush. This close, he could see the way green eyes shimmered before Hizashi closed them in anticipation.

Agonisingly slowly, Shouta leaned in, giving Hizashi every chance to change his mind and  abandon the ship. When he didn’t, he pressed their lips together in a slow, close-mouthed kiss. He knew he should make it as short as possible for Hizashi’s sake. Yet he couldn’t help but linger a moment too long, when nothing short of a Christmas miracle happened - Hizashi started kissing back, his hands tangling in the dark locks. Their lips moved together, and Hizashi’s tongue brushed over his lower lip, a silent request that Shouta happily fulfilled. Their tongues started to slide together and Shouta whimpered, barely registering the sound.

He didn’t know how long they stood there, making out under the mistletoe, but eventually, they had to pull away. Hizashi looked every inch as if he just made out with someone. No, not someone, with Shouta. His pupils were blown wide, cheeks flushed, lips kiss-pink and he was breathing heavily, and Shouta felt a rush of pride at the fact that he did it to him. He didn’t even mind the wolf whistles in the background, too focused on his boyfriend who was leaning in as if he wanted to kiss him again.

Sensing Hizashi’s intention, Maki laughed.

“Get a room, you two!” she exclaimed in English. Hizashi opened his mouth to respond but Shouta beat him to it.

“You started it,” he replied with a smirk, his English heavily accented but it was enough. Hizashi froze.

“Y-you…” he stuttered, suddenly pale as death. “You understood her?”

Oh crap. His second biggest secret was out of the bag.

“Uh, I-...” he didn’t finish. Hizashi turned on his heels and bolted through the door, leaving Shouta and his cousins still with shock.

“What the fuck was that about,” Ami asked, tilting her head in confusion. She looked at Shouta but he was too terrified to respond.

“I gotta go,” he murmured and followed Hizashi, hoping that the man simply went to their bedroom.

He had; Hizashi was sitting in the corner of their room, curled in on himself, his body wracked with sobs. Shouta hesitantly came up to him and kneeled, leaving enough space between them to not make Hizashi uncomfortable.

“Zashi?” he asked quietly. Instead of calming down, Hizashi’s sobs got more violent.

“I-I-I’m sorry,” he wailed, his face hidden in his knees. “I’m so sorry.”

Shouta inched closer. “Hicchan, what are you sorry about?”

Hizashi hiccuped and tried to take a deep breath. When that didn’t work, Shouta sat right next to him and pulled him into his lap, bringing his arms around him protectively. He started rubbing Hizashi’s back up and down and let the man hide his snotty face in his chest. Hizashi gladly accepted the safe haven offered and started crying into Shouta’s shirt. Shouta murmured sweet nothings and reassuring platitudes until the blonde calmed down enough to take a couple deep breaths. When he pulled away, Shouta cupped his face and started gently wiping the tears away with his thumb.

“Come on, Sunshine, why are you crying?” he asked softly.

“B-because you- you must know,” Hizashi hiccoughed, fresh tears falling down his face.

“Know…?” Shouta prompted, still confused and no closer to solving the mystery.

“T-that, that I love you,” Hizashi wailed and hid his face in Shouta’s chest again.

The world froze for Shouta.

Hizashi loved him? So all the comments about the pining…asking out… They were true?

“You love me?” he couldn’t help but ask, disbelief colouring his voice. Wonderful, funny, cheerful Hizashi loved him? A serious, boring him ?

Hizashi pulled away again and looked at him confused. “Y-yes? Y-you… How did you not know, after all the teasing?” He asked, utterly baffled.

Shouta’s cheeks flushed red. How should he explain it?

“I-... I thought you said it was about me because you didn’t want to admit your real crush,” he mumbled and dropped his head down to hide behind his hair. He was startled when Hizashi burst out laughing.

“What’s so funny?” He asked defensively and looked up to glare at his friend.

“Shouchan…” Hizashi cupped his cheek, seemingly gaining confidence from the fact Shouta didn’t look mad. “I’ve been talking about you with my cousins since we’ve met. They’ve been listening to my pining and waxing poetic about you for the past five years,” he said and tenderly brushed some hair from Shouta’s face.

“Y-you…” Completely at a loss for words, Shouta did the only thing that came to his mind - he leaned in and kissed Hizashi on the nose. The blonde giggled.

“I love you too,” he mumbled, wrapping his arms around Hizashi’s waist and hugging him. He hid in the crook of his neck and Hizashi squealed with happiness, hugging him back.

Something occurred to Shouta and he looked up. “So when your parents asked about your date…?”

“They asked if I’ll bring you and they were over the moon when I panicked and said yes,” Hizashi confirmed. “They love you. Not as much as I love you, but they do.”

Shouta felt his blush spreading down his neck. “I love you too,” he murmured again and nuzzled into Hizashi’s shoulder.

And then he did what he wanted to do throughout the whole week - pinned Hizashi to bed and kissed him senseless, much to the other's delight.