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It's been a long and frustrating time since Spider-Man has been trying to tell his boyfriend, aka Wade Wilson or Deadpool, something very important. It's a serious matter, and it's also kind of embarrassing to confess, so Peter needs to gather up a lot of courage to talk about it. P.S. He rarely succeeds because Deadpool is always taking him out of focus, and when that's not the case, some inconvenient disaster knocks on his door. Interruptions on top of interruptions.
However, this time it would be different.
Peter Parker will confess no matter the cost (regardless of time or place).
It was in this direction that Spider-Man gets into an argument with Wade at the same time that the two fight against a gang. To be specific: the mercenary was facing the bad boys from his black list in an abandoned railroad when Spider-Man was lucky enough to find him. At first, the arrival of the arachnid hero becomes a real relief to the older man, as there are several annoying evil men to deal with alone in that shitty place.
Although, his happiness ends after hearing a stern and serious “Deadpool, we need to talk.” This makes the mercenary freeze, therefore, almost having his head out of his neck.
“Not now, baby. The situation is fucking fucked up right now.” He replies as he hides behind an old wagon in an attempt to escape the gunfire, looking for some time to compose himself.
“ This is important.” Spider-Man emphasizes, peering into the opposite scene of the fight; analyzing where most of the gangsters are located. “If I leave it for later, I’ll definitely forget like the other times. Besides, it’s your fault I always forget.”
Deadpool reloads his gun and, despite his mask hiding his incredulous expression, his voice explains everything. “Me? Why is it my fault you have amnesia?”
The criminals are screaming furiously, shooting and threatening, but Spider-Man just ignores them.
“Because you keep driving me crazy! My God, how could I fall in love with you?”
“Dear, I know you love me and can’t stand being without me, but right now I have some unfinished business to attend to. Relax, I’ll listen to you after I’m done with these sons of bitches.”
“Wade, wait!” Too late. Deadpool returns to the battlefield, leaving a worried and stressed hero. Peter can’t stand to go another hour or even another day without saying that to his boyfriend. Besides, ironically or not, it’s Wade's fault that he’s like this. Because of an avoidable mistake. “Wade, you idiot!”
So, he also runs towards the crossfire. Spurred on by rage, he manages to arrest several henchmen. Fun fact: the couple spent the entire fight against the gang arguing (Peter tirelessly reminding them how irresponsible Deadpool is).
“We’re done!” Wade says, putting both hands on his hips, puffing out his chest. He looks pretty pleased for someone who spent two hours fighting. “Now…”
“When can I talk?” Spider-Man stands with his arms crossed while his head is slightly raised, revealing his furious aura. An unfriendly atmosphere forms, as if his authoritative tone is capable of crushing hearts. “How much longer should I wait?”
Deadpool has the unpleasant feeling that a storm is approaching. “F-first, c-can we go to-”
“No! I’m tired of putting this off. Do you know how many times I’ve had to gather my strength just to… to tell you this? Do you know how anxious it makes me? Afraid that you’ll… pull away from me. Of course you don’t know, because you’ve never let me talk.”
“Wow, honey. C-calm down, you don’t have to be so stressed. Did you wake up with PMS today?”
“ Wade. ”
“S-sorry, sir.”
“Ugh, why are you so stubborn and… impulsive? Gosh, what kind of dad are you going to be?”
“What?...”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to communicate to you all week: I’m pregnant with you!”
“What the fuck?!”
“HUH?!” Oh, these are some of the criminals. Deadpool and Spider-Man totally forgot about them.
“W-wait… W-why and how is this possible? You’ve got to be kidding me, Spidey.”
“The spider that bit me was female. That’s the only plausible explanation. And no… why do you think I would be kidding about that?! Shit… that’s why I always asked you to cum outside when we had sex without a condom! However, my boyfriend is too insistent to do something so simple.”
“If you already knew you could get pregnant, why didn’t you tell me before we did it without condoms?”
“I didn’t know! I… oh my God.”
“Webs… dear… it’s okay.”
“To be honest, I’m happy to have a child. B-but… I’m worried, Wade. I’m not ready for this. I m-might not be good enough for our child… I… oh, I…”
“Hey, hey. Take a deep breath and don’t think like that. Look, you’re a lot more responsible than I am, so I believe you’ll be a good dad. We will be. Don’t worry, okay? I won’t abandon you.”
Wade placed a gentle kiss on the top of Peter's head, comforting him.
“I'm not sure.”
“But I do. Honestly, I was thinking about getting some things together, getting a better apartment, and adopting a child. Man, you don’t know how happy I am that the child we’re going to have will actually be ours .”
“What? Are you serious?”
“Why would I lie to you, babe? I love you. I can’t wait to see what our baby will be like either. Will it be a girl? I hope it’s not blue.”
“What?... well, either way, she’s welcome.”
“That’s not what you said when we faced Bitsy.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about and I’d rather not know.”
“Okay. Then why don’t we go home and organize what we have to organize?”
“Of course. In fact, I’ve been thinking about the names…”
“Without me? You’re so cruel, Webs~”