Chapter Text
The House of Black always asked for a certain way of behaviour, speech; a certain air. Our house valued purity of blood, soul, mind and body. That is why our family motto was Toujours Pur.
My brother always rebelled against this. He made it seem so much fun but it brought great grieve to our mother. I wanted to be like him — fearless and daring, — but mothers disappointment would be too much for me. So I behaved like I was expected to.
At least most of the time.
There were these little moments where I just couldn't maintain the perfect facade of the family name and just let go. One of these little moments led to me lying in bed with a male Muggle. Not so much part of my parents ideal of a proper wizard.
I never really cared for all that blood purity. Never really cared for hurting Muggles. All I wanted was my parents love and approval. I saw how Sirius' actions hurt my mother and wanted to make them proud. But somehow I never seemed to meet their expectations.
All the pressure I put on myself, asking the Sorting Hat to place me into Slytherin instead of Ravenclaw as it was contemplating, acing all my school exams year after year, joining the the Dark Lord and becoming a Death Eater... It was never enough. And that nagging, tiresome feeling was starting to wear me out.
One night, I decided to go some place. A place no-one would expect me: a Muggle bar.
And that's where I met Marco.
I got drunk, we got talking and the next day, I woke up in his bed.
That sweet escape, letting go of all the expectations, it was addictive. One night became two, two nights became a week and that blissful week turned into a now month-long relationship.
During the day, I was the perfect Black heir. At night, I cuddled with my favourite Muggle.
Indulging in all that bliss, I became greedy. I didn't want to give this up. I didn't want to live this two-faced life. It's just way too exhausting. So I made up my mind and stopped living in this predestined path. Breaking free turned out great for my brother, so why wouldn’t it for me? I was aloud to be selfish for once.
For the past week, I've been observing the Dark Lord. He's been handing out artifacts to his most trusted followers for safeguarding. I have a theory on what they can be and am patiently waiting to test it out.
And finally, my patience has been rewarded. he Dark Lord had requested a House-Elf to assist him and I volunteered Kreacher to do the job. I was almost certain that he would go and hide the new Horcrux he made the other day.
"Kreacher, the Dark Lord said he needed a house-elf and I volunteered you. It would be a great honour for the House of Black to serve the Dark Lord. You understand, Kreacher? I want you to do exactly as he says and bring honour to this family once again. When he leaves you, you are to come back to me immediately. I know you'll do well and will not disappoint me," That is what I told Kreacher hours ago and he still hasn't returned. I was starting to worry something happened to Kreacher when suddenly there was a bang of somebody who Apparated.
"Kreacher came back, Master. Kreacher has come home when he finished his task," Kreacher said completely exhausted but proud.
"Kreacher what happened to you?" I asked him concerned while I handed him a glass of water.
"Kreacher did what Master Regulus asked him to do. Kreacher followed the Dark Lords orders and afterwards came back."
I was shocked at Kreacher's state when he returned. It took him a whole week before he was able to function normally again, though it was clear that he still was traumatized by what happened. I was eager to ask him where he went and wanted to go and search for the Horcrux. But Kreacher was still too weak and I wanted him to be back on his feet before I asked him about it. After a week, I finally asked him about his task for the Dark Lord.
"It was horrible, Master Regulus. The things Kreacher has seen... The Dark Lord did not tell Kreacher what they were to do but took Kreacher to a cave beside the sea. And beyond the cave, there was a cavern and in the cavern was a great black lake. There was a boat that took the Dark Lord and Kreacher to the island in the middle of the black lake," I could tell he was having difficulties with telling me about it. The more he told me, the more violent he started to shake. "There was a b-basin full of potion on the island. The D-Dark Lord made Kreacher drink it. Kreacher drank, and as he drank, he saw terrible things. The Dark Lord made Kreacher drink all the potion. He dropped a locket into the empty basin and filled it with more potion.And then the Dark Lord sailed away, leaving Kreacher on the island. But Kreacher needed water, he crawled to the island's edge and he drank from the black lake. Hands, dead hands, came out of the water and dragged Kreacher under the surface. Master Regulus told Kreacher to come back, so I Apparated back to my master."
I was speechless after hearing Kreacher's story. Both from excitement and fear. I was right about the Horcrux, what turns out to be a locked, but it sounds even more dangerous than I expected. How could I take out a whole lake of Inferi? But I couldn't back out then, I had to continue.
I was never brave like my brother Sirius was. I always wanted to be more like him, he was always so fearless. He looked like he could do anything he wanted, defeat anything with ease. This was my chance to prove myself. To prove that I could do the right thing too, to make my older brother and future children proud.
"Kreacher, I know this will be hard on you but I must ask you to take me to this cave," I collected all my courage and ordered Kreacher to take me there. It was clear how terrified he was and how much he didn't want to follow my order though he must.
The cavern was just like Kreacher described. It was dark with a large black lake within the middle a little island and a basin on it.
"Where is the boat, Kreacher?"
Kreacher went to one of the walls and pulled some invisible robe. A boat came floating from the bottom of the lake. The Inferi in the lake became uneasy for a bit before the settled down again. We both took place inside the boat and it started ferning by its own.
When we reached the island Kreacher was again violently shaking.
"Kreacher," I started, getting a locked that looked exactly like the Dark Lords one out of my pocket and gave it to him, "I want you to give me the potion to drink. You'll need to continue, no matter how hard I beg you not too. Once I'm under the influence of the potion everything I say to you has no value as an order so you will not follow them in any situation. Once I've drunken everything off the potion you will switch that locket with this one. When you have switched them, you'll leave and try to destroy it. You understand? It is of great importance, Kreacher and I can only trust you with this job."
"Master Regulus, please don't force me to do this," Kreacher was sobbing, big tears coming down his cheeks.
"I know this will be hard on you and I admire your courage to do so. You're the bravest House-Elfe to ever exist."
"Yes, Master."
"Also you must never tell my mother. It will break her heart if she knew, so you mustn't. If you need someone's help, ask my brother. Tell him it is important to him and his friends."
"Why would I go to that blood traitor. He broke my Mistress' heart," Kreacher said with horror.
"Don't call him that, Kreacher. My brother his a good man, he just follows different principles. Now Kreacher it's time to feed me the potion."
I nodded at Kreacher and he took the cup and filled it with the potion. I drank it and it felt like my insides were burning like I was being digested by fire from the inside. Then the hallucinations began. I saw Sirius lying dead on the ground. When I try to get rid of the image, the body changed into my mothers. I didn't even notice I drank more of the potion since I was too focused on the burning feeling that increased and the images that kept flashing through my head.
The only thing I could think about was making it stop and drinking. Drinking a lot to stop the burning inside me. I didn't control my body anymore when I crawled to the water. From the moment I touched the water, heads were all over me and they dragged me into the lake. I was disgusted by the feeling but for some reason, I didn't mind them dragging me into the lake. The water was welcoming.
The welcoming feeling of the water was the last thing I remembered before everything went black.