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Laia wasn't stupid. She could be a bit oblivious, she wouldn't deny that. But she'd gotten great grades in college, worked hard on her restoration and her art, and liked to think she had a semblance of emotional intelligence. At least compared to Noe.
And she couldn't be entirely blamed. The whirlwind of events this summer would have left (she was choosing to believe) anyone with their wits dimmed. She was still getting used to Vlad smiling more, to Noe making time to be here, beside her. Still taking everything one day at a time and trusting that this peace wouldn't be temporary. It seemed to be the case, so far.
So, yes, it took her a while to start asking questions.
But when they started, they didn't stop coming.
It began after she saw a little Pomeranian on her way to the castle.
The puppy was asleep at the feet of her master, enjoying the sun at the bistro. It got Laia making a mental note to buy Nosferatu a new vampire chew toy when she visited Leo next weekend, and something for Cathy's dog, and with that, came back the magic show...
By the time she stepped into the castle, her mind and ears were buzzing, heart beating fast. Part of her wanted to approach the matter delicately. The other part saw Noe on the couch, pose lazy and taking up as much space as possible, making the only seat his lap. His grin let her know it was deliberate.
The annoyance was so immediate that all thoughts of delicacy went out the window.
"Are you a god?"
Noe frowned. Pursed his lips as if considering the question. Laia stood, hands on hips, heart in her throat, waiting.
"You know," he started, "most people only ask me that after sex."
"Noe."
"I'm serious. It's been a few hours. Has that only occurred to you now?" He was frowning as if he actually was concerned about the bullshit he was spewing.
"No— I mean, remember the dog? The dog you gave Cathy?"
"Oh, yes." Noe narrowed his eyes at the ceiling. "A waste of a wish, but what can you do?"
"How did you make the dog?"
"Hm?" Noe looked at her again, expression blank.
"The dog. Focus! You said it wasn't an illusion, that everything you created there was real and was going to stay. And they did. How did you do that? That is literally the power of creation. You created life at a random magic show in Lastville. You can just do that?! You know who else has that kind of power? God. So, cards on the table! Are you a god?!"
Noe stared at her. She stared back.
"You think God is only 712 years old?"
"I said a god."
"I'm not God. Or a god."
"But—"
"I didn't create the dog."
"Yes, you did."
"My dear, tiny human." Noe stood up and made his way over, surprising her by taking her hand. "I didn't make the dog. I simply, how would you put it... Transported the dog from a nice shelter in Oregon, and made it seem as if it had appeared out of thin air. Basic energy transference. Ta-da."
Laia stood, quiet. Noe mindlessly stroked the back of her hand, letting her think.
"So you— can't make life."
"I'm afraid not like that. We can always work on making one together the natural way."
"Noe."
"No, I don't create life out of thin air. That would be... a power beyond what anyone I know could grant."
"...Okay. Right. Jesus."
"Maybe you should sit down."
"Oh, so now you want to share the couch."
"I have no idea what you mean." He was donning her favorite shit-eating grin, the bastard. But he sat her down on the couch gently.
"Is now one of those times when humans need water and sugar? And breathing into a paper bag? I always wanted to try that, it looks fun."
"No."
"Hmph."
"Sorry your girlfriend is not panicking."
"My girlfriend is panicking. She's just not letting me do anything about it."
"Just— sit down."
Noe sat down.
Laia processed for a bit more. Tried to visualize how it happened and to compare it to everything she thought she knew about the world.
"So how does it work? Did you just— take it? But— what about action and reaction? Matter? Wouldn't it create a... hole?"
"...No? There's just no dog there and one dog here. It's not advanced physics, love, it's just basic math. For instance—"
His free hand came to rest atop the one he was holding. Gently, he turned her palm up, closed it, and then—
She felt it before she saw the burst of color, the bright blue.
He drew his hands away, pleased, and in hers was a bouquet of lilies so azure that she couldn't breathe. They smelled fresh, a bit like eucalyptus and lemons, and were soft to the touch. When she managed to look away from them, she caught the tail-end of a rare soft smile. The satisfied glint in his eyes stayed.
"What—"
"A flower shop in Paris has one less bouquet, you have one more. That's how it works."
"And what do they have?"
"Hm?"
"Noe, did you steal these flowers?"
He smiled, pleased. "You're welcome."
"No. Please pay them. They're beautiful."
Noe laughed. "Fine. Promise."
She looked at her flowers again. She hadn't noticed she was smiling. "I'll go put them in water."
And that was that.
Laia would be the first to admit the History Channel did not hold the same appeal it did when she was younger. Partly because the channel itself had not grown with the times, but mostly because seeing one's past life in vivid detail made the Ottoman Empire documentary a little painful to watch. But seeing what they got wrong was, to some extent, nostalgic and funny. It was something to put on while it was too early to sleep.
She supposed Noe's commentary was the best part of it, really, but she would take that to her grave. The last thing he needed was an ego boost.
"Why do they always insist on the wrong supernatural explanations? Aliens?!" he was saying, "I can't believe Mephis didn't sue them."
"Why are you stealing all my popcorn? I thought you didn't need to eat?" she retorted. Stealing a bigger handful was his only response.
The ad break came in, talking about the creation of time, existence, the universe. Or something. Laia was only half paying attention, the other half accidentally fixated on Noe's fingers.
"Why do humans make documentaries of things they don't have the answers to yet?" he complained.
She shook her head, coming back to reality, and grabbed some popcorn. "And you have the answers to this?"
"Don't put the blame on me, babe."
She concealed her smile as best as she could. But then she frowned, hand freezing halfway to her mouth."...But do you?"
"What?"
"Do you? Know the secrets? Of the Universe."
"Sure. It was mostly a mistake. The end."
"Noe Lokid."
He gave her a quick lopsided smile. "I love when you talk dirty to me, Bambi."
"And I love when you steal all my food and don't answer my questions! Is it... classified?"
"History? I suppose the information is as open to the general public as your own government is."
"I hate you sometimes."
Noe wasn't even paying attention to her. "Keep going, babe, I'm almost there." He put a mouthful of popcorn in his mouth, eyes glued to the TV. Laia had half a mind to complain, but the other half was spiraling.
She knew the history of the formation of Earth, but what about the dark world? Where and why did it come to be? Before or after humans? If the dark world came with humans, did that mean that at some point a human soul was cosmically recognized to begin existing, and it needed somewhere to go...?
Where was the dark world? Assuming it wasn't a spiritual plane, but a physical one, it couldn't be anywhere on Earth, right? Could two worlds occupy the same space, if one was a shadow version of the other? Was that what the dark world was, or was it anthropocentric to think so? And if it was its own world, did that mean it wasn't even on Earth to begin with?
Fucking hell, were they aliens?!
As casually as she could, Laia asked, "How old is the dark world, anyway?"
"I don't know. How old is Earth?"
"So it's as old as Earth?"
"I didn't say that."
"No... No, you once said demons were all created at the dawn of time. That they only procreated when needed and then stopped... So, when was the dawn of time?"
"I don't know. It's not like there was a time before it, so—"
"Jesus, Noe, are demons as old as the universe?"
"I didn't say that."
Laia stole the bowl of popcorn from his hands.
"Hey!"
"Then what are you saying? Because, Noe, I swear to God, there's only so much I can handle."
"That's not true," he said with a small smirk. Before she could protest, he continued, "I don't know how true the story is. It's just how it's told."
Laia considered this. Humans were not sure about their origins. Maybe demons were the same.
Even if they were all there "at the dawn of time". Jesus. Did no one think to write down what happened? Make some wall paintings registering the beginning of it all?!
Eventually, she managed to loosen her grip on the bowl and hand it back to him.
"Then why put it like that in the first place?"
"Because you are dating a remarkably serious and undramatic person."
She didn't manage to hide her smile this time.
"Seriously, how are you so calm about all of this? Like—"
"We're missing Mehmed's death."
That caught her attention. She reached for some popcorn.
"Oh."
And the matter was forgotten.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, Laia's mom did not like Noe that much.
Still, since Noe was a relatively permanent fixture in Laia's life now, they all tried their best at family dinners, when he tagged along. Noe kept any cryptic or outright sour remarks to himself, Annie drank wine instead of commenting on Laia dating a wizard (she would not hear corrections), and Laia learned to take an Advil before the meal instead of letting her headache get too far.
"The pasta is delicious, Mrs Burnell," Noe said, with the cadence of someone who practiced that line by watching a Shonda Rhimes show.
"Thanks, hon." Annie took another sip of white. "Laia being a vegetarian pushed me out of my comfort zone, but I like to think I handled it well."
"Hm." Noe's smile said he was trying very hard not to say something he shouldn't.
Laia intervened. "The potatoes are great, mom. Thanks again for having us."
"I don't know why all this fuss over the occasional chicken being eaten," Millie complained cheerfully across the table. "It's not like they have souls or anything."
"Darling," Annie reprimanded softly. A crease formed on her brow, and Laia could almost see her mind rushing from soul to immortality to magic to Laia will die a terrible death and my insurance won't cover that much therapy.
"Have you seen the latest drama with the Abel Prize?" Noe changed the subject with all the subtlety of a honking truck at 180 miles per hour, but mom and Laia were grateful.
The conversation moved on, but that exchange stuck in Laia's mind on the way home. Did chickens have souls? She hadn't seen any animals in her visits to the dark world. Could human souls incarnate in chickens? Why did only humans have souls? Did that make man more important than other living beings? Or was man something else entirely?
"Darling," Noe called from the passenger seat. "Have I told you how hot you look behind the wheel of a car?"
"You are not driving this vehicle " Laia said automatically, not really listening.
"Funnily enough, I believe I would do a safer job than you right now."
"I haven't killed anyone, have I?" Not in traffic, at least.
"Admirable, for sure. But maybe we could aim a little higher?"
She had been judged, in the dark world. What were the parameters on which souls were judged? How could anyone be sure the decision was fair? What was the punishment for those found guilty?
And wasn't Laia cheating, even now, by knowing how it worked? Didn't this knowledge give her an advantage over her fellow humans? What price would she have to pay for this one day?
Or did she know? How could she know? How could millennia of speculation be answered, just like that? A single answer to all the questions, and a random art restorer knew.
"Bambi, if the wheel offended you, we can deal with it without you trying to suffocate it."
"Is the Lady of Abode God?"
"What."
"Is she God? Did I meet God? Or is she a god? Is God judge or creator? Why do a few get to reincarnate? It can't be everybody, the math wouldn't add up. Where do they go if they don't come back? What is it all even for? Do I know the truth of the afterlife, or did I just see a version I could theoretically handle?"
"Maybe you should pull over."
Laia pulled over.
They sat in silence for a few minutes. In the stillness of the car, the windows began fogging up. There was no one on the road, and dark clouds hurried above. Heaven. Earth. And Laia panicking. All as usual.
When she gathered the nerves to look at Noe and demand an actual response, he was smiling a little. It was so unexpected that she almost forgot what was troubling her.
"What?"
"You're not going to Hell, or whatever you think will happen."
"That's not what I'm worried about."
"Oh?"
"It's just that nothing makes sense, none of it. What would make sense is if I didn't know anything, right? Why do I get to know, to remember all of that? What am I supposed to do with all of it? Tell everybody?"
"You could always found a church."
Laia sighed. "Noe..."
"It would follow your art direction," he started, using his strongest argument first. "You could say the Lady wants you to have multiple husbands, all of that "
"We are not seducing Vlad."
Noe pouted, ridiculous for a man of his age. "You never like my ideas."
More like saving it for your birthday, love, Laia thought, closing her eyes. Turned out one Advil hadn't been enough.
"Just—"
"Don't worry."
"Wow."
"No, listen. What difference does it make, what you think you know or don't? You still have work tomorrow. You'll still never get anything completely right, all the time, and all that sappy jazz. It's like this: even if you knew all the mind-numbingly boring rules you were supposed to follow, you'd need to break some, or you wouldn't be living."
Laia considered this — as much as she could through the headache. "...Every day I pity Septentrion a little more."
"Hey. I'll have you know I was a pleasure to have in class."
"Right."
"Now will you please let me drive so you don't have to meet the Lady again so soon?"
"...Okay."
He drove her home, more careful than anyone would have expected an immortal demon to be.
Some nights, less unexpectedly now, Noe would be waiting for her at her apartment. Sometimes, Noe liked to cook. She supposed his fascination with something he didn't strictly need made sense.
(What was his source of energy? Sex?!)
So that Tuesday, when she arrived home to find the door unlocked and the house smelling of tomato sauce, she didn't panic and consider calling John Dougan, like the first time.
"Honey, I'm home!" Laia called from the hallway. She smiled when his laugh reached her from the kitchen.
He was wearing the most ridiculous Kiss The Cook apron she had ever seen, but he had gone to the trouble of wearing it, so she did leave an obnoxious kiss on his cheek.
"How was your day?" she asked.
"Ur continues to be way too easy to mess with. The gizmo continues to not want to cooperate. Yours?"
"Vlad got me a Lili Fabricius to restore, can you believe it? He sends hi, by the way. Give me something to do?
Noe, like her, was a perfectionist, but in cooking, he allowed her to help. They exchanged small talk for a bit, Noe focusing on dicing the mushrooms, Laia taste testing the sauce.
Eventually, as she was fixing the flavor, he came up and embraced her from behind. He kissed the back of her neck, and her line of thought vanished.
"Have I ever told you how much I love this body?"
Laia was sure he could hear the smile in her voice. "You've mentioned it once or twice. Feel free to use it as inspiration," she teased.
"I told you"—his lips touched her shoulder—"I have no desire or skill to replicate something so perfect."
She smiled like an idiot, putting the rice in and stirring the meal.
But then a stray thought occurred to her. She asked without thinking, accidentally halting their little game: "What could you replicate? What if you wanted to make a body of a different species altogether?"
Like a bear. Could he theoretically make one?
Oh, my.
"Could you make Vlad into a bear?" she wondered out loud.
Noe rested his face on her shoulder. She felt his sigh on her skin.
"Why do you want to make Vlad into a bear?"
"I didn't say I wanted that, I'm just curious. How does it work? How much of it is real? Because when we were in Turkey and you kept up the illusion of Vlad's human guise... How wasn't he hitting everything in sight? He was enormous. How didn't he hit his head when entering places? Was he seeing things from his double dark guise, or his human guise?"
"A magician never reveals his tricks."
"We are talking about the laws of physics here."
"The laws of physics are suggestions more than anything else," he grumbled.
"What?"
"Dear, the risotto."
She turned off the pan, looking at the risotto and rethinking her life.
Noe kissed her shoulder one last time before serving their meal and gently nudging her to the table, already set. It all looked beautiful, made by a true artist.
She was still thinking about bears.
"Would you like to come to my workshop one day?" he asked casually while serving her plate.
That brought her back.
"Really?"
"Sure. You'll love it." He smirked, but it was too sincere, too eager, to pass as solely playful. "And we can find many places to explore—"
"I would love to," she interrupted. Her mood had drastically improved at the prospect of a practical class.
He smiled for a moment, but soon grew serious again.
"I'll show you how it's usually done. ...As best as I can." He frowned. "Most of us cannot do this job, and it's for a reason. It takes decades of mentorship before we make a minimally decent body. It's not easy to understand."
"But you're the best in your field." Laia smiled, batting her eyelashes at him. "I'm sure with a couple of private lessons, I could get the gist."
Noe smirked. "If you're dedicated..."
"I'll be the best student you could possibly imagine."
His look at her said his imagination was soaring.
Pleased, Laia finally had a bite. It was as perfect as she expected from him.
That night, Laia bolted upright in bed, heart and mind racing. She reached for Noe in the dark, hand shaking.
"Noe. Noe, wake up. Noe. Noe, were those dates? Were those dates?! And you just let me go on about God?"
Noe was unmoved. Eyes still closed, he just reached for her and pulled her into an embrace. "Goes to show how much I love you, tiny human."
"Oh my God."
"Don't worry, it was great," he mumbled, half-asleep. "Aren't you supposed to get to know each other on dates?
Her face was on fire. "You're also supposed to be charming, and smart, and most importantly, not have existential crises over metaphysics."
Noe turned to look at her, more awake.
"What would be the fun in that?" His voice was so sincere that it made her lose her train of thought.
"How do you even love me after all that?"
He laughed. Fully awake now, he looked at her with what she could only describe as surprise — and a little wonder.
"Darling," he said, smiling, "that's the easiest one you've asked so far."