Chapter Text
If you were to ask Alex Claremont-Diaz what his greatest joy in life was, without question he would tell you that it was being a dad. His daughter, Lucia was everything to him, he loved her more than all the stars in the sky. She had always been his purpose, but ever since her mother got cancer and died, things were different, he didn’t, couldn’t give himself completely to anything other than being her dad. Sure, he was a good lawyer, and he liked his job, and helping people, but at the end of the day, he was his daughter’s father, and he wondered if time would ever heal enough wounds to allow him to be anything else.
Right now, he is sitting in bed, reading through his case notes for tomorrow, when Lucia opens his bedroom door, tears streaming down her face.
“Sweetheart, what happened?” He says, hating the fact that he probably already knows the answer.
“I had another dream about Mama.” Lucia says, her sobs resuming.
“Oh, mi amor, come here.” Alex says.
The six year old climbs into her father’s arms. “I miss her a lot.” She says, her voice small, and broken. More broken than any kid’s her age should be.
“I know you do, and I promise you that wherever your mother is, she misses you just as much. She loved you more than anything in the whole world, and so do I.”
“I’m sorry if I made you sad. I know you miss her too”
Alex feels his heart break in two. “Oh sweet girl, don’t be sorry, it’s not your job to worry about me.”
“I know, but I don’t like it when you’re sad. And neither did Mama.”
Alex smiles, thinking about how his late wife used to do just about anything to make him laugh. She was whip smart, and impossibly funny, and hated it when he was sad, right until the end. “That’s right, your mother was always making us laugh. God, I miss that.”
“She was so pretty too.”
“I see so much of her in you, you know that?”
Lucia’s face lights up immediately. “Really?”
“Of course. You have the same nose, and the same smile. When I look at you, I find it hard to be sad because you are all the very best parts of her.”
“I love you.”
Alex kisses the top of his daughter’s head. “I love you too, Mija, more than all the stars in the sky.”
XXX
The next morning, Alex is trying to get Lucia to start getting ready to go spend the day at his mother’s because there’s no school, and he has to work.
“I don’t want to go to Nana’s, I always go to Nana’s.” Lucia shouts.
“I know you don’t want to go, baby. But I have to go to work, alright? Please don’t argue with me.”
“I hate you!” The little girl yells, and Alex isn’t surprised. He’s been talking to his daughter’s therapist about how behavioral regression is normal for kids experiencing trauma, but it still hurts.
“Hey sweetheart, it’s okay for you to be upset with me, but we don’t have to yell at people to get our feelings out.”
Lucia sniffles. “I’m sorry. I’ll try not to next time.”
“I know you are. And I’m really sorry that you’ve been having to spend so much time with your Nana instead of with me. How about we go to the park later? You can bring your soccer ball!
Lucia nods.“Okay.”
Alex lets out a huge sigh of relief. “Alright, let’s go, Kiddo.”
When Alex arrives at his mother’s that afternoon to pick up Lucia, his daughter is preoccupied with a library book, so he figures it’s clear to ask his mom how the day went.
“How was she today? We had a rough night, and a rough morning.”
“She had a good day. She talked a lot. I know she’s usually pretty quiet these days, so I thought you might like to hear that.” Ellen says with a smile.
“Oh, that’s great.” Alex says, but he is so distracted that he’s not even sure what his mom just said to him.
“Sugar, are you okay?”
Alex nods. “I’m fine, Ma. I’m just tired.”
“Okay, I love you, and you’re an excellent dad, don’t you forget that, alright?
“Thank you, I’m doing my best.”
Just then, Lucia looks up from her library book and runs into Alex’s arms. “Papi!” She squeals.
“Hey, peanut, I missed you!”
“I missed you too, can we go to the park now?”
“Of course we can.”
“Yay! Bye Nana, love you!”
Ellen smilles at her granddaughter. “Bye gorgeous. I’ll see you soon.”
When they get to the park, Lucia swings on the swings for a little while, but then a bunch of kids decide they want to swing, so she retreats to an open stretch of grass to kick her soccer ball in solitude. She hasn’t been very interested in playing with other kids in the fourteen months since her mom passed away. Alex watches her as he’s flipping through photos of their little family of three for the hundredth time. Lucia accidentally kicks her soccer ball too high, and a stranger catches it. He’s tall, and blonde, and a beagle stands next to him.
“Is this yours?” He asks, smiling at Lucia.
“Yes, thank you.” Lucia says enthusiastically.
“No problem.”
“Your dog is cute.”
“Thank you, his name is David.”
“Isn’t that a human name?”
Alex shoots the man an apologetic look. “Lucia..”
The other man smiles. “You’re right it is, a very human name. Do you want to pet him? He likes kids.”
“Really?” Lucia wonders, a smile immediately shining on her face.
“Of course.”
“Hello, David. I’m Lucia.”
“That’s a very pretty name.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
When Lucia goes back to playing with her soccer ball, Alex notices that the stranger with the dog has sat down on the end of the bench next to him.
Alex scoots close to him. “Thank you for rescuing Lucia’s soccer ball, she’s very attached to that thing.”
“It was no trouble at all. She’s adorable, how old is she?”
Alex smiles. “Thank you, she’s six. and the absolute light of my life. Thank you for letting her pet your dog, I think you made her day.”
“It was my pleasure. I’m Henry by the way.”
“I’m Alex.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“You too.”
They make small talk for a while and Alex is struck by two things about this man, one being how charming his accent is, and the other being how easy he is to make conversation with, he hasn’t really talked to that many people his age other than out of necessity since Ellie died.
A few moments later, Lucia comes up to them, smiling. “Papi, you made a friend! You’re always sitting by yourself when we go to the park.”
Alex blushes ever so slightly “Yeah, I guess I did. This is Henry, remember he rescued your soccer ball earlier?
“Hi, thank you again for rescuing my ball.”
“You’re very welcome.” Henry says with a soft smile.
Alex smiles back at him. “Thank you for keeping me company, she’s right I don’t have that many friends.”
Henry smiles. “Well, now you have one more.”
XXX
The next day, Lucia comes out of her room when Alex is in the middle of making her breakfast. He’s working from home today, and he knows she’s had a tough time adjusting to her summer break schedule of bouncing between home with him or the sitter, her Nana’s and her Tia June’s so he figures that the least he can do is make her favorite breakfast.
“Morning Papi.” She says, smiling.
“Good morning. I made your favorite.”
“Thank you.”
“Guess what, kiddo?”
“What?”
“I called my boss, and I’m working from home today.”
“Yay! Can we go to the park again?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“Maybe I’ll try to make a friend this time, I think that Mommy would like that.”
“I think she would too. But it’s okay if you don’t want to either, she wouldn’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with and neither do I.”
“I think it would be nice, I mean you made friends with that nice man with the dog at the park.”
Alex smiles, Lucia’s sass doesn’t make an appearance very often anymore, so he doesn’t really mind when it shines through “Yeah, I guess I did, huh?”
True to her word, Lucia actually plays with some other kids at the park, it’s just small talk on the swings, but given that Lucia has been incredibly reserved these last few months, small talk is a massive deal.
Alex is about to fill his mother in on his daughter’s achievement when he notices Henry from yesterday looking at him.
“Fancy meeting you here.” Henry says.
“Oh hi, Henry.”
“I see your daughter has abandoned her beloved soccer ball.”
“Yeah, I’m as surprised as you are to be honest.”
“She’s not much of a talker ?”
“Not anymore, no.”
Henry furrows his brow. “Oh?”’
“Yeah, she’s going through a hard time is all.”
“Oh, well, you and her mother, I assume must be doing a good job with her, she seems like a good kid.”
“The best, and uh, it’s just me, her mom died fourteen months ago.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, it’s been rough, it was cancer, and it was pretty brutal.”
“My dad died of cancer when I was a teenager, so if anyone understands it’s me.”
“That must have been hard, sometimes I’m glad Lucia was so little when it happened, and other times, I hate it.”
“Well, she seems happy all things considered, so don’t be too hard on yourself.”
“Thank you for saying that, I’m very lucky that my mom and sister dropped everything and moved here after the funeral, it’s made things easier for sure. Oh god, I’ve been trauma dumping on you, haven’t I?”
“No, not at all, I’m the one who brought it up, and actually, I commend you for sharing.”
Alex laughs nervously. “Oh, thanks.”
“No problem.”
“So, how long have you been in the city?”
“Six years. I’m an English professor at NYU. What about you?”
“Since a little before my first year of law school. I actually went to NYU.”
“Impressive.”
“I guess so.”
“Don’t be modest, you’re a lawyer who is also a single father, that has to be a bit of a challenge.”
“It is, but Lucia is literally the most incredible little girl in the world, and that makes it easier. She’s a lot like her mom.”
“Is that hard?”
“It was at first, but now it really gets me through the rough days. And she loves being told that she’s just like her mom.”
“Were they close?”
“Very. Ellie was a freelance writer, so she was home a lot more than me.”
“My dad and I were very close, so I know how hard that can be.”
“You know, I haven’t really told that many people about this, so I really appreciate you listening.”
“It’s the least I can do, not that many people listened when my father died and that was awful, so I don’t want anyone to go through that if I can help it.”
“Well, that’s very considerate of you. Most people are really weird about death, and I hate it.”
“Isn’t it the worst?”
“I can’t even believe the things that people have the audacity to say sometimes.”
“You’re right, it’s ridiculous. You know what? Let me give you my number, in case you ever want to talk.”
Alex doesn’t know what to say to this, he’s not offended, but the whole thing feels like a little much.
“You don’t have to make me your charity case.”
“That’s not what I’m doing, we’re friends, your daughter said so herself yesterday.”
Alex chuckles. “Yeah, okay, sure. That would be nice.” He says, and Henry smiles at him, and for the first time in a while, Alex realizes that maybe making friends is not as hard as it seems
XXX
Later that night, Alex is tucking Lucia into bed when he figures it’s a good time to ask her about their afternoon at the park.
“Did you have fun at the park today?” He asks
“Uh huh, I talked to a couple of girls on the swings.”
Alex smiles. “That’s great, Mija.”
“They were nice and everything, but I like playing with my soccer ball by myself better.”
“That’s okay, you tried, and I’m proud of you.”
“I wish I didn’t miss Mommy so much, maybe I’d be better at making friends if I wasn’t so sad.”
Alex’s heart snaps in two. “Lucia, look at me, you are allowed to feel however you want about your mom. There’s no rules to grief.”
“But Papi, I don’t want to be sad all the time.”
“I know you don’t, and you won’t be, I just want you to know that your feelings are always going to be important to me. And I will never, ever judge you. Because I know how much you love your mom.”
“I love you.”
Alex kisses the top of his daughter’s head. “I love you more, Kiddo.”
“Are you and Henry from the park friends now?”
“Yeah, I guess you could say we are. Why?”
“Because, you really only hang out with me, and Nana, and Tia June, and I don’t want you to be lonely.”
“I told you that you don’t need to worry about me, sweetheart.”
“I know, but last night, Mommy visited me in my dream, and she said that she wanted me and you to be happy, so that’s why I tried to make friends today.”
“Well, that was very brave of you.”
“Besides. I like Mr. Henry from the park. He’s very nice.”
“He is nice. You’re right.”
“I think Mama would like him.”
Alex feels his heart melt, opening itself up to the idea of letting people in. “You know what, I think so too.”