Archive of Our Own ^beta

The train rattles to a stop at the small, rundown platform. Only one passenger steps foot outside into the scorching heat of summer.

Taehyung shields his eyes from the sun as the train behind him departs again, leaving him alone in a cloud of dust. The straps of his heavy backpack dig into his shoulders and sweat is clinging to his skin.

He will have to take the rest of the way by foot.

A bit warily, he glances toward the high mountains that rise into the sky behind the few houses dotting the calm scenery in front of him. With a huff, he straightens his back and starts walking. No matter how often he’s done this now, this last bit of his journey never gets easier.

As he walks through the dusty streets his hand keeps moving by his side, taking hold of the long shadows the houses and trees throw onto the ground. He keeps them tightly in his grasp, pulling the shadows along so they hide him from the searing sun.

Deep within the thick forest that covers the mountains in front of him the real village exists. A hidden spot from the human world, holy ground for witches and their descendants. For centuries now, they have inhabited this small strip of land all on their own, far away from the touch and the eyes of any ordinary humans.

And for just as long, witches have traveled from all over the country to these mountains to join one of the largest magical gatherings in South Korea. The summer festival.

Taehyung has attended it his entire life. Always fascinated by the demonstrations the most powerful witches would display, overjoyed at meeting friends from all over the country, and excited to connect with other witches and share tips, tricks, and spells.

It doesn't take him long to reach the bottom of the mountain and the cool shade of the forest. Despite that, sweat is pearling down his back and he's already breathing a bit heavier.

He is simply not made for the heat. At least not in these clothes.

Once he enters the forest the world already starts feeling different. The magic of hundreds of witches, of centuries, has seeped into every corner of the forest, sitting in the very tops of the trees and the smallest root under the ground. Flowers line his path which leads him deeper and deeper. Until the solid ground turns into soft moss, until the bushes and trees brush against his side as he climbs through the vegetation.

Nature here is more powerful than anywhere else. Covering any traces that could lead an unsuspecting human toward the village it hides in the heart of the mountains.

Taehyung has been walking for a while when he suddenly hears a rustle. He stops, eyes trying to find the source of the sudden noise.

There it is again. The leaves of a bush to his right rustle and Taehyung takes a careful step back. His hand is opened by his side, drawing in the light of the sun filtering through the thick roof of leaves above him.

Just as he prepares to defend himself against whatever might emerge from the bushes something small and black jumps out in front of him.

Startled, Taehyung takes a step back before he recognizes the large eyes staring up at him from below.

An airy laugh falls from his lips and he lets the light go again, calming down instantly.

“I almost got scared, you know,” Taehyung scolds the small, black bunny. Its nose twitches a little as if it's giggling. “Where’s your other half?”

The question has barely left his lips when something cries out above him. He turns his head just in time to catch sight of a crow sailing down to land on his shoulder. It nips at his ear.

This time, Taehyung actually yelps a bit in fear of being attacked but the crow quickly lets go of him again and lands next to the bunny. The air around them starts to blur and Taehyung doesn't manage to look away quick enough to avoid the wave of nausea that washes over him.

Both of the small animals transform into humans right in front of his eyes. A shit-eating grin on both their faces.

They're around the same height, one still with two front teeth a tiny bit larger, bunny-like, and thick black locks that look as soft as the fur of the bunny seemed. The other is a bit taller, the same mischievous glint in his eyes as the crow.

“I see you evolved from hamster to crow,” Taehyung says to him. He was actually surprised to see his friend in this particular form since he hadn't seen it before.

But a lot can change in a year.

The last time he saw the couple was during the same time last year. When he came to stay with them for the festival.

“Well, I’ve been practicing,” Seokjin shrugs with a smile on his lips, he tugs a stray feather out of his hair, “And I have mastered the air and the winds with my wings.”

“Don’t lie,” Jungkook — the bunny, his boyfriend — immediately interjects and shoves him lightly, “You just sailed down here — there’s still a long way to go for you before you can properly fly.”

A pout settles on Seokjin's lips and he quickly grabs Jungkook's head, pressing it against his chest while he holds his mouth shut with his free hand. He whines. “Taehyung didn’t need to know that.”

Taehyung chuckles.

“It’s still impressive,” He praises Seokjin, “Don’t worry.”

Jungkook and Seokjin. They’ve been friends for a long time. Taehyung met Jungkook when he was still going to school, Seokjin somehow got added to their friend group along the way and it didn't take long for the two of them to start dating.

They share almost everything — the same sense of humor, the same unpredictability, their hearts, their home, and lastly, their magic type.

Both are working toward becoming masters of metamorphosis. Taehyung remembers as if it were yesterday how excited Jungkook was when he first managed to successfully transform into a misshapen mug.

But they're both well past transforming into inanimate objects, their abilities growing and growing with each year as well.

They haven't always lived here in the mountains. It's only been about two years. Until then they lived in the human cities just like Taehyung and the three of them would see each other quite frequently.

But they've found happiness among their own kind, in the mundane and calm life of the mountains.

Since then, they don't get to see each other often but for Taehyung it still feels as if no time at all has passed. They're still the same. They still bicker the same way as before, treating him as if not a day has passed, and somehow, even though Taehyung doubted it was possible, both look at each other with even more love in their eyes than before.

A slight pang of jealousy zaps through Taehyung’s chest and he stumbles for a moment.

It's been a while since he felt like this. This type of jealousy — a yearning for something he wishes to have in his own life.

Being so busy all the time and living a fast life in the big city often makes Taehyung forget how lonely he is. Confronted with what he’s missing makes this feeling light up into flames though.

The three of them walk together, exchanging stories and life updates until the first lanterns become visible in the trees and soon, Taehyung walks past the first house.

Usually, he and his friends had a hard time finding accommodation when almost the entire witch community of South Korea was trying to travel here but since Seokjin and Jungkook live here now, Taehyung doesn't have to worry about that anymore.

They call a small, cozy house with a guest room and a very comfortable couch their home.

It's empty when they arrive.

“Where’s Jimin?” Taehyung asks. His best friend usually arrives a day or two before him and he's dying to finally see him again.

“Oh,” Jungkook looks up from where he's preparing some tea, “Some kind of trouble traveling. He’ll be here tonight though.”

Next to him, Seokjin suddenly stiffened at the sound of Jimin's name. His brows are furrowed and he seems to be in deep thought. “Speaking of him… there was something…” Seokjin mumbles a bit to himself. Frustration settles on his face as he struggles to remember what he wants to say. “I was supposed to tell you something but — I don’t know what it was anymore.”

Taehyung just shrugs. “Guess it wasn’t that important then.”

If it was really important either, Seokjin wouldn't have forgotten about it or Jimin would have contacted him directly. Taehyung can wait until he sees Jimin tonight.

What he is not aware of this moment is that it was indeed, that important actually.

For as long as the festival lasts, Taehyung and everyone else get to enjoy dressing in a more traditional way. He likes the sound of the leather, the light linen and cotton against his skin, and how much it makes him momentarily forget about the rush of the human world.

Late in the evening, when the sun has already lowered and long shadows have spread under the thick trees the witches of the mountain gather outside to welcome each other.

Lanterns flicker in every corner, hanging in the trees, and from the roofs of the houses, and small sparks even fly through the air to light the way. Fires crackle on the clearings between the trees, roasting food and warming the long wooden tables everywhere.

Taehyung sits down at a smaller table with his two friends, chatting away. At this point, everything is still fine. Until it's not anymore.

But first, Jimin arrives with a big smile on his face and Taehyung almost tackles him to the ground with his enthusiastic hug.

Oh, he missed him so much! For the past five months, Jimin has been off the grid entirely, spending his time somewhere deep inside the Amazonian rainforest to connect to his magical affinity on a deeper level.

They have never been without contact since they met each other. So, really, can anyone blame Taehyung for being overly excited to see him again?

But Jimin isn't as enthusiastic. He seems a bit — weird.

“You’re in a good mood,” Is the first thing Jimin says to him. As if he shouldn't be.

“Of course?” Taehyung is a bit confused, “Why wouldn’t I be? I missed you so much.”

Jimin laughs a bit, his tensed shoulder relaxing slightly but he's still a bit wary. “I mean —”

And before he can even finish his sentence Taehyung squeaks loudly. His gaze has caught a familiar figure among the crowd — someone he did not expect to see here and never actually planned to see again.

The world shifts beneath his feet and before Taehyung can even take another breath he's down on the ground, crawling beneath their table and cowering in its shelter.

And at that moment, Seokjin suddenly remembers what he had forgotten.

“Oh my god, Yoongi —” He gasps, leaning down to peer at Taehyung's cowering silhouette. “I was supposed to tell you about Yoongi!”

Great, Taehyung thinks, Thanks for not telling me.

Seokjin crouches next to the table and whispers seriously, “Yoongi is coming this year.”

“You don’t say,” Taehyung grits from between his teeth, grabbing Seokjin by the collar and shaking him, “How could you forget such an important detail!” He whisper-yells.

His heart is beating so loudly that it echoes inside his head, a constant thrum behind his racing thoughts while his body can't seem to settle onto what emotion to feel. He’s stuck in a limbo between genuine fear, anxiety, shock, guilt, and a great amount of shame. His skin is burning and he wishes he could simply disappear with a snap of his fingers.

“I’m sorry, okay?” Seokjin apologizes profusely, trying to crawl under the table to him but Taehyung pushes him back, afraid someone else would notice him hiding, “I had to remember so much. It just slipped my mind.”

“Slipped —” Taehyung cuts himself off frustrated. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm down a bit before he peeks over the edge of the table. Immediately, his eyes land on Yoongi as if they were drawn to him. His stomach contorts tightly as he watches the man sit a few tables over. He’s already the center of attention.

“This is the worst.” Taehyung lies down on the ground in a tight ball, tugging his knees to his chest and hiding his face behind his hands. “I need to go back home. Like, right now. I can’t stay here. I really can’t.”

Fabric rustles and Seokjin disappears from the corner of his eye, replaced by Jungkook’s face peeking under the table. “Is it really that bad?” He asks — and he sounds so genuine Taehyung kind of wants to punch him. “I mean, you broke up seven years ago. Don’t you think it’s time to get over it?”

“Over it?” Taehyung screeches. None of his friends understand the utter humiliation he went through and will go through if he ever were to appear next to Yoongi again. Never mind the amount of shame that already makes him cringe simply remembering Yoongi. Having to actually face him is something so much worse.“You don’t get it — I can never show my face in front of him again. I’d be humiliated. Just thinking about the way I was back then, what I said, what I thought… ugh, I’m so embarrassed. I seriously can never let him see me again.”

All his lamenting only earns him a few exasperated sighs from his friends. But they don’t understand. They just don’t get it the way Taehyung does.

He doesn't even dare imagine the face Yoongi might make if he ever saw him again. After the way, Taehyung treated him back then… after what he said… after he just broke up with him like that…

Yoongi was so kind through all of that even though Taehyung feels he didn’t deserve a shred of it. And now… ah, now he’s just utterly ashamed of how he was seven years ago. So, ashamed that he has sworn to never show his face in front of Min Yoongi again.

“He’s gotten pretty popular,” Jungkook mentions and Taehyung glances at Yoongi’s table again, still being careful to stay out of sight.

Of course, he’s gotten popular. He’s always been but it certainly is different now. People come in small groups to the table, often too shy to meet him alone, asking him questions with awe in their eyes, shaking his hand as if he were something sacred.

Taehyung totally gets them though. After all, he’s been the same way even way back then. Back, when Yoongi wasn’t as exceptional as he is right now, before he was this known in the magical world. Taehyung had always known what an amazing and talented witch he was.

Which kind of makes it worse that he threw their entire relationship away just because he ended up not being able to handle Yoongi’s talent. Every time he thinks back to that time seven years ago he’s overcome by this immense weight of guilt and shame that eats itself through his body in record time.

He’s admired Yoongi since school and in their last year, a few weeks before they graduated he finally found the courage to confess. And Yoongi accepted him with an open heart and the kindest smile Taehyung had ever seen on his face. From the moment he saw Yoongi for the first time, he was fascinated by him.

It was the way Yoongi used his magic.

Everyone found it fascinating.

Yoongi was something of a child prodigy. Usually, children don’t develop their affinity to a certain type of magic until they’ve reached their teens. But Yoongi had almost been a master already when he was a teenager.

Of course, Taehyung admired him. He fell for him easily and he wanted to follow in his footsteps, wanted to stand on the same stage as him.

Sounds were his affinity. Yoongi controlled them better than anyone Taehyung had ever seen before. He manipulated them, conjured them up out of thin air, and the spells he cast with their help were far beyond anything any other student at the school was able to do.

From the beginning, Taehyung knew he wouldn’t be able to quickly catch up to Yoongi’s level but he was certain he’d manage it with enough time and practice. But once they were dating and spending most of their time together, Yoongi often helping Taehyung with his magic, it became more and more apparent that sounds simply didn’t come easy to Taehyung.

He was young and dumb back then. Yoongi was so kind, he helped him as much as he could and he never did anything that should have made Taehyung feel inferior to him. No. Yoongi wasn’t at fault for those brewing feelings. Taehyung developed them all on his own.

It started with frustration. He let it fester, let it eat away at his insides. He watched how Yoongi surpassed more and more witches with an ease that felt overwhelmingly unfair while Taehyung barely managed the simplest spells while using sounds.

He shouldn’t have focused so much on this but Taehyung couldn’t help himself. His frustration turned into jealousy, into this crushing feeling of inferiority whenever he looked at Yoongi’s face and he felt awful about it but also couldn’t stop those feelings from growing. The more he realized he’d never even come close to Yoongi’s kind of power the more he started to build a certain kind of resentment toward him.

Deep within his chest, he let his insecurities grow, letting them infect his mind and heart until he was convinced Yoongi only kept him around because it made him look even more talented in comparison to Taehyung’s pitiful attempts at magic. Of course, he knows that wasn’t true.

Not once has Yoongi looked down on him. Not once has he treated Taehyung as if he were inferior to him.

And still, Taehyung couldn’t help feeling that way.

Instead of trying to get over it, of trying to talk to Yoongi about it, Taehyung just tried harder and harder. Going on a downward spiral of self-destruction.

Everything came easy to Yoongi while Taehyung had to work five times as hard and still didn’t achieve anything. When Yoongi was invited to study with the High Order outside of Korea it became too much. Taehyung broke and he unleashed all his frustrations on Yoongi, chasing him out, blaming him for everything he was feeling, and tearing their relationship apart.

To Yoongi, it must have come as a surprise. He had always genuinely loved Taehyung, had always treated him with kindness, and done everything for him he could. And Taehyung did nothing but throw all of that back in his face because he couldn’t reign in his childish inferiority complex.

They broke up and Yoongi left to study while Taehyung spent months wallowing in self-pity.

His friends were the ones who picked up the pieces and slowly, Taehyung learned to let go of that resentment. The gaping hole it left behind in his chest was filled with shame and guilt the more he learned about himself and the reasons he felt the way he did. It took him almost two years to get past this complex and the realizations left him utterly humiliated.

He treated Yoongi like trash because he was selfish. And since then, Taehyung has been too afraid to ever look at him again.

For the rest of the night, Taehyung stays under the table, too afraid of being spotted by his ex-boyfriend or one of his friends. Occasionally, Seokjin and the others give him some food and drinks or drop something else so they can bend down and speak to him face to face.

But no matter how much they begged or teased him, Taehyung stayed down there, refusing to come out.

He’s already thinking he may have survived this night unscathed when a deep, familiar voice suddenly speaks up very close to their table. Taehyung didn't see them coming, his back to them and he freezes, cowering close to the ground as he hopes they wouldn’t notice him in the dark shadow. Just to be sure, he pulls them a bit closer around himself, like a blanket he wraps himself in the shadows — hiding as much as possible.

“Hey, it’s been a while guys.”

It’s Namjoon.

Taehyung recognized his voice instantly. He was already Yoongi’s friend back then — actually, Taehyung felt quite jealous in the beginning because Namjoon was such a close friend to Yoongi while he was just a younger student admiring him for a while.

The thing is, if Namjoon’s here, then that means Yoongi is definitely right behind him.

And right on cue… “Isn’t Taehyung with you?” Yoongi’s voice cuts through Taehyung’s chest like a knife and he tenses so much it feels as if his body might shatter with the faintest whisper of the wind. “He comes every year, right?”

No, no, no.

Taehyung prays his friends won’t rat him out. They wouldn’t, right? Right?!

“Uhm…” Quickly, Taehyung reaches out and grabs Jimin’s ankle, squeezing tightly and burying his nails in his skin. His best friend flinches but covers it up quite well. Oh please, please let his thoughts transfer to Jimin. “He’s not here — right now. Ha ha…” Jimin laughs awkwardly and Taehyung almost curses under his breath.

“But he is here?” That was Hoseok. The third witch in Yoongi’s friend group. Fuck. They’re all here. If he’s discovered Taehyung will seriously have to leave South Korea and never show his face around the entire witch community again.

“Of course,” Seokjin pipes up and Taehyung’s grip on Jimin’s ankle tightens which earns him a light kick in the side with his other foot. “I’m sure you’ll run into him at some point.”

No, the fuck he won't.

As if Taehyung would let that happen.

Taehyung may have survived last night without being spotted, but that was only the beginning. Hiding from Yoongi during the next day would prove to be a much harder feat.

And still, somehow, Taehyung manages to stay out of his way though he could not avoid seeing him plenty of times. Every single time his blond hair flashes in his periphery his heart clenches tightly and an electric shock runs through his body. He’s wondered often how it would feel like to see Yoongi again after their break up. And this…

Well, this, doesn’t feel great at all. It is awful.

Taehyung thought about Yoongi a lot over the past few years. Especially, after he realized what his own problem had been all along. Once he understood his mistakes and grew from them, he felt more and more shame and guilt for making Yoongi some kind of enemy he was never trying to be.

Often, he wakes up at night after having a bad dream about that time, wishing he could have already had the same mindset he has right now back then. Because then he wouldn’t have driven Yoongi away. He wouldn’t have broken up with the person he still couldn’t get over seven years later.

Somewhere deep within his chest, past the shame and the guilt are still all the other feelings he has always had for Yoongi. But after what happened he never dared to truly entertain them again. What right does he have anyway? He was the one who destroyed their relationship in the first place.

So, Taehyung avoids him as best as he can while enduring the teasing of his friends. He only steals a few glances at Yoongi from time to time — Yoongi who looks so much older but at the same time as if not a day has passed. Yoongi, who still smiles the same way. Yoongi whose hair looks as soft as it used to be. Yoongi who still has a place in his heart.

By the time the sun lowers and the late evening has arrived Taehyung is utterly exhausted. It seems Yoongi kind of sensed all the glances he’s been stealing, turning around almost every time Taehyung risked his eyes lingering. But luckily, he has never caught him. Now, with the additional help of the darkening sky, Taehyung feels a little safer.

Tonight, the first master witches would showcase their powers. Of course, Yoongi will be among them — the talent of a generation. That’s what everyone has dubbed him as.

Taehyung had heard it all day, the murmurs, the whispers whenever Yoongi was near and he gets it. Yoongi is an amazing witch, has always been, but in those seven years they’ve been separated he’s become an almost legendary one. Everyone has been talking about him, has been trying to talk to him.

They’re looking forward to his performance and Taehyung would lie if he said he didn’t as well.

The air is filled with anticipation as they all squeeze into the largest clearing in the center of the town. Lanterns flicker in the branches of the trees, casting warm light into the darkening night. Candles are grouped on the ground, garlands of flowers, and silvery trinkets decorate every free space.

Taehyung and his friends settle a little to the side of the crowd, not too far back and not too far in the front. Just close enough to still see Yoongi clearly in front of the large bonfire. As Yoongi gets introduced, Taehyung is once again reminded of how powerful he is within their community. (As if Taehyung didn’t already know it but hearing it from someone else always gives it an extra kind of punch.)

The bonfire draws a burning outline around Yoongi’s figure, reflecting off his blond hair and seeping into his skin. As much as he reminds Taehyung of the young man he was back then, it becomes clear how much he has grown over the years.

There’s a different air around him. An air of confidence and it’s as if Taehyung can taste the kind of power he commands on his tongue just by looking at him.

It is truly overwhelming. And when Yoongi begins his show, Taehyung realizes more and more how awfully stupid he really was when he was younger. Dreaming of being like Yoongi… he could have practiced for centuries and still wouldn’t be able to reach the same heights as him.

The way Yoongi moves now to conjure up his music is much more complex than what he used to do. His eyes are closed as he draws up the sounds with his fingers, exerting an insane amount of control as he weaves the different noises into a beautiful song. As if he could see every sound in front of him like a string he could pull on, twist and turn, knot and lace together with others.

Taehyung would have never been able to do something similar. It was his major struggle when it came to using sounds to release his magic — he could only hear them. But Yoongi can see them. He can feel them. Not being able to see the thing you’re manipulating is what makes sound magic so complicated for most witches.

But to Yoongi, weaving a song out of thin air seems as easy as breathing.

Taehyung should have never compared himself to Yoongi in the first place.

The night is quickly filled with Yoongi’s song, his magic reaching every corner of the dark sky. His long fingers move through the air elegantly and Taehyung can’t tear his eyes away from them. All he needs are his hands to conduct an entire orchestra by himself, not a sign of strain on his face.

Everyone has fallen under his spell.

They’re all stunned at the display of beautiful power in front of them. Yoongi has built a song from nothing, conjuring different sounds from his magic and letting them echo in the clearing. But that’s not all. He’s pulling all the noises from the world into his music as well, lacing them between those he builds himself as if they’ve always belonged there.

Even masters struggle to build a melody from various sounds they pull from the world around them. It’s exhausting trying to pull from more than one source at the same time. But not for Yoongi.

The rustling of the leaves, the crackling of the fire, the sound of the birds, and the chirping of the crickets — he weaves everything so easily with the sound he creates from his inner core. He draws in every sound around them.

Taehyung even feels the sound of his heart syncing up to Yoongi’s beautiful melody.

It's a strange but not uncomfortable feeling as his heartbeat adjusts, fitting into his orchestra as if it has always belonged there. The people around him are going through the same thing, wonder and amazement coating their faces as many of them reach for their chests, feeling their heartbeats as parts of Yoongi’s rhythm.

The melody fills the night and Taehyung stays frozen in his seat, his eyes on Yoongi until the last note fades into the wind. Around him, the people have jumped to their feet, clapping and cheering. Taehyung gets up as well and just at that moment, Yoongi’s gaze sweeps across the crowd and stops right as it meets his eyes.

For a moment, the whole world seems to stop, and then Taehyung ducks away, hiding in the crowd as he flees into the shadows of the night.

His heart is beating in his throat and his chest has pulled so taut that it’s hard to breathe. Suddenly, he feels immensely overwhelmed, his throat tight and his eyes burning. Taehyung can’t even explain what it is that makes him feel like this — his emotions are in turmoil and all he knows is that he needs to be alone right now. Especially, far away from Yoongi.

He knew seeing him again wouldn’t do him any good.

He runs until he reaches a smaller clearing further away from the crowd. There, he settles on a small strip of grass, leaning against the trunk of a tree as he gasps for air. The orange light of the bonfires and lanterns is only a flickering shadow behind him.

The crickets are much louder here. Their buzzing slowly fills Taehyung’s entire head as he tries to calm himself down. Absentmindedly he’s started pulling on some of the silverly moonlight that reaches the ground here.

Taehyung plays with a small ball of moonlight in the palm of his hand, watching it intensely. He lets it pulse slightly, a slow rhythm and he does that until his heartbeat has calmed, until he’s breathing easier again.

Over here, the air of the night is much cooler and Taehyung draws in one deep breath after the other.

He sits there in silence until the atmosphere suddenly changes. Taehyung immediately knows it’s Yoongi approaching him — he can tell by the way all the sounds suddenly seem to revolve around one thing. The shift of the wind rustling through the leaves, the chirping of the crickets, the dull thuds of feet against the ground. They all follow someone.

Truly, Yoongi is more powerful than any other witch Taehyung has heard of in the current world.

Again and again, Taehyung is reminded of his past mistakes. He’s always known Yoongi was strong but he may have underestimated how truly powerful Yoongi would become. He commands the sounds of the world without having to actively use magic. Somewhere deep inside of him Taehyung has always believed he would be able to reach him. Even entertained the thought of being equal to him now that he’s found his true affinity but even being considered a master of shadow and light, Taehyung is still so far away from Yoongi’s kind of power.

But different from the past, this time, the realization doesn’t make him feel inferior.

“I've been trying to find you all day.” Oh. The light vanishes from his hand the moment he hears his voice close to him for the first time. It makes his heart ache. Taehyung hadn’t realized how much he missed the sound of Yoongi’s voice. “Hi, Taehyung.”

His mind is screaming at him not to do it but Taehyung can only hear the echo of his aching heart and turns his head around. It feels like a punch to the gut and at the same time, not as scary as he thought it would be.

Yoongi is smiling.

From this close Taehyung can definitely tell that he aged a bit. His features have gotten sharper and a few more lines are crinkling around his eyes when he smiles. And still, he’s as beautiful as the last time Taehyung saw him seven years ago.

The shame and guilt awaken within his chest with newfound vigor and Taehyung has to force himself to barely lift the corners of his mouth, returning Yoongi’s polite smile.

“Hi…” Taehyung gulps, “It's been a while.”

Yoongi nods and then silently asks to sit down. Again, Taehyung swallows heavily before he shifts slightly, indicating for Yoongi to sit down next to him.

His clothes rustle and suddenly he feels his warmth quite close to him. Taehyung leans away as much as possible, afraid of getting caught up in the sudden closeness to the other. He stares straight ahead, his fingernails digging into the palms of his hand as he presses his lips together into a thin line.

Blood is rushing in his ears and anxiety buzzes under his skin. How did he get himself caught in a dangerous situation like this?

Taehyung sucks in a deep breath, closing his eyes tightly as he fights back the traitorous burning behind them. How much more humiliating could this get? How could he already feel like bursting into tears before Yoongi had even said anything to him?

The longer they sit in silence, the more extreme the scenarios in Taehyung’s head get about what Yoongi could want to say to him.

“So…” Finally, Yoongi breaks the silence. Taehyung doesn’t dare to look at him. “How have you been?”

The knot in his throat tightens rapidly and Taehyung can’t answer immediately. He wants to cry a little and at the same time, he also wants to laugh.

Ugh. He feels so shitty. Quickly, he buries his face in his hands, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes so Yoongi wouldn’t see the sheen of wetness in them. Oh, he knew why he never wanted to be confronted with Yoongi again.

It’s too much.

Everything feels a little bit too much and Taehyung can’t help but choke on his guilt and shame, suffocating.

His voice is a bit distorted, “Can we not do this?”

“Hm?”

“This —” Taehyung rubs his hands down his face, holding his breath for a second before releasing it slowly, “I feel awful enough as it is.”

From the corner of his eye, he sees the way Yoongi winces and how the smile on his lips falters. Taehyung’s stomach drops, and panic wells up inside of him. It seems as if Yoongi is about to get up and leave again and shit —

Shit — that’s not what Taehyung wanted. He didn’t want Yoongi to feel shitty too. That’s just… no… that’s not what he wanted.

“Sorry,” Yoongi apologizes quietly and he’s really going to leave.

Panicked, Taehyung grabs the sleeve of his shirt, letting go almost as soon as he comes in contact with the fabric as if he’s been burned.

“No, wait,” Taehyung groans, frustrated with himself. The words he wants to say are a jumbled mess on his tongue, tripping and falling over each other as he tries his best to explain himself. “I was really unprepared to see you. No one told me you were coming and I'm just — it's weird.”

Quickly, the crestfallen expression on Yoongi’s face becomes kind again. Taehyung kind of wants to kick himself in the face.

“I wanted to apologize to you for years but I was too afraid to do so,” Taehyung confesses a little breathless. For a moment, he catches Yoongi’s eyes and it makes his chest cave in. His hands tremble a bit and he’s unconsciously clenching the shadows of the tree behind him in his hands, hoping the repetitive motion might calm him a bit.

It takes him a while to keep talking. Yoongi waits patiently — just like he’s always done.

“Actually, I was just too embarrassed to do it.”

Yoongi’s eyes soften and for a second, Taehyung is sure he’s going to reach out and touch his clenched fist but in the end, he rests his hand on his lap instead. “There's nothing for you to be embarrassed about,” Yoongi says quietly.

“Shit — of course, there is,” Taehyung argues immediately. His chest is burning up from the inside, searing through his flesh as he peeks at Yoongi for a moment before quickly avoiding his eyes again. “I'm embarrassed and ashamed, and my guilt has been eating me alive for the past few years. And most of all, I am sorry for how I broke up with you. And for the reasons why. I'm sorry for blaming you for something that was never your fault. I'm really sorry. I’m so — so sorry.”

It all just spilled out of him. He didn’t even get a chance to catch his breath while the words fell from his tongue. Once his voice had faded, the night fell silent around them.

Taehyung sits there, his shoulders drawn up to his ears and his teeth gnawing on the inside of his cheek. There’s a buzzing inside of his head louder than anything else, he can’t even hear his own heartbeat over it.

For a long time, neither of them says a word. Taehyung isn't sure whether his voice would hold up again or not and Yoongi… he’s not sure about him. It takes a while but eventually, Yoongi speaks.

“I don't think you're the only one who was scared of this encounter,” Yoongi says quietly and his voice sounds a lot less confident than it did a little while ago. But that’s not what Taehyung focuses on. His mind immediately jumps to the implications of Yoongi’s words.

As if he should have any reason to be scared of meeting him again — Yoongi wasn’t the one who did anything wrong. He shouldn’t have been feeling scared. Before Taehyung can sort the words that flooded his mouth, Yoongi is already continuing.

“I was too. I still am,” Yoongi laughs a bit awkwardly, and somehow, the little sounds ease Taehyung’s nerves a bit. It just shows he’s not the only one feeling nervous and maybe a bit out of place.

This whole encounter still feels surreal to him, a little as if it’s nothing more than a dream, a figment of his imagination.

“I'm also sorry for how everything went down.”

Oh, and that’s not — Taehyung shakes his head, and suddenly with newfound vigor he sits up straight, snapping his head around to face Yoongi. Because this is not something he can accept. Yoongi shouldn’t put any blame on himself, he never did anything wrong. No matter how resentful Taehyung grew or how distant he was, Yoongi never treated him badly and never blamed him for that. He only ever tried to be there for him, to support him — Yoongi had always been the perfect boyfriend and it was just Taehyung who twisted him into something he wasn’t.

None of it was Yoongi’s fault.

“No, no,” Taehyung interrupts him fiercely, almost grabbing onto Yoongi’s shoulders but he restrains himself just in time, “Really, you did nothing wrong. It was all me.”

Once more, Taehyung couldn’t help but wince at the memories but it didn’t deter him from finally saying what he should have said long ago.

“I couldn't help but feel jealous when I saw how quickly you were advancing, how fast you got further and further out of my reach. I felt so — small next to you. So stupid. But that was all on me. I should have not let my jealousy fester into resentment, into this sense of inferiority that broke me in the end. I'm sorry. I was dealing a lot with myself and I let all of my frustration out on you. I blamed you for every little bad thing I felt when I shouldn't have. When all you ever did was be there for me.”

Taehyung risks a small glance at Yoongi, it’s too quick to really make out any kind of expression he may be wearing on his face.

“That was really cruel of me,” Taehyung finishes quietly, all of his years-long shame bleeding into his voice, “And I wish I would have realized that sooner.”

Clothes rustle and Taehyung knows Yoongi is leaning back on his hands, most likely looking up at the starry night sky. This time it doesn’t take him long to find his voice.

“I should have tried talking to you, helping you.” Yoongi’s voice is clear in the dark night, cutting deep inside of Taehyung’s chest and he feels even worse having confirmation now that Yoongi blamed himself for what happened as well. He never meant for that to happen. He never even considered Yoongi would be suffering in a similar way he did over the past seven years.

It was bad enough that he knew he had broken Yoongi’s heart but this… Taehyung wishes he could turn back time and take everything back he did back then. And if it meant never confessing to Yoongi so he could spare him the pain he would do it in a heartbeat.

“I kind of saw what you went through — at least I had a general idea,” Yoongi continues, “But I just didn't know what to do. I am the older one. I should have been mature enough to at least try and talk it out with you but I didn't.”

It’s so strange. Having this conversation with him now after so many years.

Taehyung plays with the grass around him, tugging on it, twisting it between his fingers, and ripping it into tiny pieces. The air around them is still tense but somehow, it does feel a bit lighter than before. A little less awkward.

Maybe it’s because both of them finally got to say what they kept deep inside themselves for the past years.

All those years since they broke up have weighed heavily on Taehyung’s shoulders. Putting it out into the open definitely helped him breathe easier for the first time. There’s a sense of happiness slowly unfolding where only shame and guilt have made a home before and he can’t help but let his lips twitch into a tiny smile.

Finally, he got to apologize to Yoongi.

“You're even more amazing now than you used to be,” Taehyung mutters a bit absentmindedly, his hand stilling when Yoongi bursts out into laughter next to him.

From the corner of his eyes, he sees the redness starting to coat his cheeks and Taehyung can’t tell whether Yoongi is a bit embarrassed or just shy. Yoongi just looks the same way he always did. His lips curl the same way when he smiles, his laughter has the same melodic sound to it, and Taehyung’s chest flutters the same way it used to.

“Thanks,” Yoongi looks at him, “I learned a lot in the Order.”

Oh yeah, Taehyung remembers. The Order…

That was the last straw for him.

The day when Yoongi received his invitation to leave Korea and study under the most proficient witches in the world, far, very far away from Taehyung, he just snapped. All his frustration had spilled over that day and he couldn’t take it anymore.

That’s when he broke up with him.

When he yelled at him. When he broke his heart. Taehyung can’t imagine how awful Yoongi must have felt then. How lonely he must have been when he left Korea all alone, burdened with every single word Taehyung threw at him, every last piece of his frustration.

Taehyung gulps, hoping to push away the guilt that rears its head again.

“I've always known you were amazing but this is just —” Taehyung cuts himself off, unable to describe what he’s trying to say. He just hopes that Yoongi somehow gets it.

Of course, he does.

He does because he always has.

A playful smile is on Yoongi’s lips and he knocks their shoulders together lightly. “I've heard you are being considered quite the master as well now,” He chuckles.

Heat creeps up the back of Taehyung’s neck and he ducks his head a little. Maybe back then he would have thought this kind of sentence was meant to belittle him but he knows better now. Yoongi has always been genuine with his words, with his compliments. And Taehyung doesn’t feel the need to compare himself to the other anymore.

There’s no need to make himself smaller. He accomplished a lot as well. Yoongi isn’t the only one.

“I guess so,” Taehyung smiles, his chest so much lighter than before, “After I realized sound magic simply wasn't for me I found my calling in light and shadow.”

Taehyung isn’t entirely sure how the rest of the night truly went. They talked a bit more until Taehyung felt comfortable enough to look at Yoongi. But these last bits of crushing emotions within his chest just don’t seem to be dying down.

They talk about mundane things, about anything really — Taehyung isn’t sure. He’s only listened to Yoongi’s voice, trying to fight the way it made these feelings he tried to lay to rest stir inside of his chest again. It all felt so surreal, even when he had arrived back at Seokjin’s and Jungkook’s home that night.

He’s glad his friends are already sleeping, not sure how he would be able to explain this night to them.

In bed, he stared at the ceiling for hours, trying to make sure he didn’t just dream all of it.

“Let's talk more tomorrow. See you then.” That’s what Yoongi had said to him last night before waving him goodbye. Taehyung had not been able to say a word, had only nodded dumbly, still unsure whether he was dreaming or not.

And even now, the next morning, Taehyung still couldn’t believe that Yoongi would say something like this to him. Before yesterday night he thought Yoongi would have never wanted to talk to him at all but it was quite the opposite. And most importantly, facing him again, talking to him, and actually working up the courage to apologize didn’t turn out to be as terrifying and as humiliating as Taehyung thought it would have been.

But of course it wasn’t.

He should have known. Yoongi hasn’t changed. He’s still one of the kindest and most considerate persons Taehyung has ever met.

His mind is still stuck in the last night when he comes out of his room still a bit sleepy. His hair is a mess and he’s yawning loudly. Once downstairs, he’s immediately met with the curiosity of his friends.

“Where were you last night?” Jimin asks, looking up from where he’s been preparing breakfast for himself, “I was worried. Looked like you were hiding to cry after you saw Yoongi perform.”

Taehyung shoots him a tame glare before stealing a bite of food off his plate. “I didn't go crying,” He pouts. His stomach swoops as his memories flare up again and he looks away from the others in the kitchen to hide the red blush appearing on his cheeks. “I…”

He feels the expectant stares of his friends on him and he tries to sound as nonchalant as possible when satisfying their curiosity.

“I spoke with Yoongi.”

The kitchen is immediately filled with gasps of surprise and his friends gather around him, staring in disbelief as they try to find the lie in his words.

“No way.”

“Don’t lie.”

Jimin is just gaping at him, unable to say a single word.

Now, Taehyung feels a tiny bit offended. His friends are treating him as if he’s gone crazy or something. Like, okay, he may understand that it might seem that way after he spent the last seven years making sure to never even catch a glimpse of Yoongi anywhere but seriously? He obviously wouldn’t lie about something important like this to them.

Well, not entirely…

“Well, maybe it was more Yoongi coming to talk to me but that doesn't matter.”

“Oh, it so does matter,” Jimin calls out, finding his voice again, “What did he say? What did you say?”

“Oh, this and that,” Taehyung laughs a bit awkwardly, eyeing the backdoor which is wide open and waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. He feels a bit sorry for leaving his friends hanging but he’s still not entirely sure whether everything that happened yesterday was real and he doesn’t have the mind to be interrogated for the next hour or so. As soon as sees an opportunity, he dashes forward.

“Have to go now!” He yells over his shoulder as he darts out of the backdoor, leaving his flabbergasted friends behind.

Throughout the day he tries to catch Yoongi alone — just to confirm that they really did meet last night but it’s impossible. Truly, Taehyung did not fathom how in demand Yoongi would be during these few days. Every single time he’s about to slip into the place of someone who has just talked to Yoongi like five other people are already cutting in line, hanging off the witch just like moths drawn to the light.

So, Taehyung spends the entire day running after Yoongi without ever having any success in catching him alone. Once night falls and the bonfires are lighting up the darkness again he has already given up.

Taehyung has wandered away from the large clearings, following the lanterns in the trees to a slightly more secluded area. The soft sound of water hangs in the air here and a few dozen candles float on the small lake in front of him.

The stars reflect off the calm surface of the water and he breathes in the cooler air of the night, filling his lungs to the brim before slowly letting go again. He sits there, his eyes slipping close ever so often, listening to the faded noises of the festivities as he lets himself be lulled into this half-asleep state. He’s listening so closely that he notices it immediately — the world is bending to someone’s immense presence.

As if it’s oohing and ahhing in amazement.

Taehyung leans his head back and looks up at Yoongi whose steps falter as their eyes meet — seems he tried his best to be inconspicuous while approaching. “I can't believe how popular you've gotten,” Taehyung says, thinking back to the rest of the day when he had tried and failed to get one single second to talk to Yoongi privately.

Yoongi’s eyes dart away for a moment. “Is that… okay?”

Oh — a pang of familiar guilt shoots through Taehyung’s chest and he coughs, masking the slight pain as he sits up straighter. That’s not what he meant and it feels so awful… so awful to know that he made Yoongi have this kind of reaction to his words.

“It was just an observation,” Taehyung hurries to reply, hurries to set the record straight because he would never want Yoongi to feel like he’d have to hide his greatness to accommodate Taehyung’s feelings ever again. It’s just not right. “I'm… All these insecurities I used to have — I left them all in the past. Promise.”

Relief floods Yoongi’s face and he smiles shyly before settling down next to Taehyung. There’s still a small breath of distance between them, their knees not quite touching.

Even though Taehyung still feels the weight of his past actions, the guilt, and shame heavy in the depth of his chest, he’s much more comfortable just sitting next to Yoongi than he was last night. And still, a bunch of nerves thrums below his skin.

Without even noticing it at first, Taehyung reached for the flickering flame of the closest candle that gently sways on top of the water. His fingers twitch, pulling on the light as he keeps dimming it and then letting it grow stronger again. Again and again.

Next to him, Yoongi seems to be affected by some nerves as well. His face doesn’t show it as well but it’s evident in the way he keeps wringing his hands, flexing and relaxing his fingers until he simply can’t take it anymore, and creates small strands of sound in the palm of his hand. Taehyung can’t see the magic itself but his eyes are captivated by the graceful movements of Yoongi’s fingers nonetheless.

A little careful but growing more confident with each passing second, Yoongi starts weaving a pattern into the air, lacing strands of sound together, creating small knots and as the first notes start ringing in the night, the rest of the world joins into the melody. The rustle of the wind, the slight sound of water, the buzzing of the cicadas — they melt into the beautiful tones Yoongi creates with his magic out of thin air.

It takes only a few seconds for Taehyung to recognize the melody. His heart recognizes it before his ears do — a small, soft melody. Like the sound of a calm rainshower coming down on the surface of a lake.

A knot forms in Taehyung’s throat and he somehow can’t bring himself to look at Yoongi. This melody, this particular spell is one the other witch crafted a few years ago. Back in school. It was a spell he specifically made for Taehyung — the recipient of it would feel a sense of calmness wash over them.

The familiar sensation of soft raindrops drumming down on his skin comes over him.

“You still know this?” Taehyung asks quietly, rolling his shoulders back as he involuntarily stretches himself a bit further as if there’s really rain coming down on him and he’s trying to catch it all on his body. “Isn't a spell like that now way, way below your ability?”

Yoongi snorts and there’s a small hiccup in the melody before he keeps weaving properly. “So?” He shrugs, “It's one of my favorite ones.”

And Taehyung doesn’t want to think about what that might mean.

He doesn’t say anything further, just letting himself be wrapped up in the sound of Yoongi’s magic, welcoming the calming sensation. As his muscles relax and his breath becomes deeper and deeper without him having to do anything something in his chest seems to melt, exposing an emotion he’s kept tightly wrapped up until now.

He missed Yoongi.

He missed him a lot. Especially the moments just like these.

The feeling intensifies more and more until Taehyung’s eyes start watering and he fears he might start sobbing if he doesn’t stop this now. Without a better idea, he turns to Yoongi, swallowing the thick knot in his throat, and asks, “Wanna see a trick?”

The melody fades and Yoongi focuses his entire attention on him, eagerly nodding at his question.

Taehyung takes a deep breath, gathering himself and letting go of the overwhelming sadness or was it something more like grief? He’s not sure. But he clears his mind off it anyway as he sits up a bit straighter, his eyes scanning over the surface of the dark lake. A few dozen candles there and another few in the trees around them — as soon as he’s eyed every single one of them he lets out a long, controlled breath before reaching for each individual source of light with his magic.

It comes to him easily. So much easier than sound ever did. Being able to see what he’s doing is all he ever needed for his own magic to work properly.

His hands are open, fingers pulling the light toward his palms. It follows his calls as if enchanted and without hesitation. Taehyung traps the light against his palms before folding his hands together and compressing it into a tight ball.

The night around them has darkened significantly. Only the slight light of the starry sky remains while the dim shine of the bonfires doesn’t quite reach far enough to touch the lake.

All the candles are still burning, the flame flickering in the slight breeze — but it doesn’t carry any light anymore. A little like a black hole, the flames flicker. Instead of casting warmth into the darkness, they seem to absorb any kind of light around them. Taehyung takes another deep breath, reaching farther this time and as he exhales, slow and controlled, he draws the light of the stars above them down to the ground and into his folded hands.

Yoongi and him are bathed in complete darkness then. Only the faint glow of light peeking through Taehyung’s fingers remains.

Fabric rustles and Taehyung flinches at the sudden warmth against his side. Yoongi has moved closer, curious to see what Taehyung is going to show him he has shifted more to the side, leaning almost entirely against the other man. It’s as if he doesn’t even notice the sudden closeness between them.

But Taehyung does. He definitely notices.

He gulps, trying to relax his stiffened body. He could say something to Yoongi. There would be no problem if he did, Yoongi would move immediately. But Taehyung doesn’t want to say anything. He doesn’t want Yoongi to move away.

For a quick second, he glances at the other witch next to himself, finding Yoongi’s entire attention drawn toward Taehyung’s glowing hands in his lap.

It reminds him of back then. Back when they were both still trying to figure out their magic and all the different spells they could learn and create. Somehow, he had pushed away the way Yoongi had treated him back then, painting his own image of how things were happening around them when that wasn't the truth at all. Somehow, he had convinced himself that Yoongi had been looking down on him. But Yoongi has always looked the way he does right now.

His face had always been filled with his most earnest and genuine interest. He had always looked at Taehyung that way. From the beginning to the end, Yoongi had always been his biggest supporter but Taehyung had just become too blind to see that.

In Yoongi’s eyes, they have always been equals. There was nothing Taehyung needed to do to earn that spot, it had been his from the beginning and would always remain in his possession.

He ignores the dull pain in his chest and focuses on the way Yoongi’s eyes are glowing in the dark, reflecting the tiny bit of light that escapes his hands. A small smile spreads his lips and he glances at Yoongi one last time before raising his hands to his mouth. He blows into his hands, drawing them apart quickly as he lets his breath scatter the trapped light between his open palms.

A million tiny sparks hang in the air between his hands, they pulse in the rhythm of his breathing. It’s a galaxy of a million stars that he’s letting shine for Yoongi’s eyes only. For a moment, he keeps the galaxy between his palms before pushing out another deep breath, scattering the sparks over the entire clearing.

The light pulses and it’s as if they’re sitting in the middle of the starry sky.

Yoongi’s breath hitches as he looks around, awe in his voice — “Wow,” Yoongi speaks so quietly that Taehyung feels his words more than he hears them, “It’s so beautiful.”

And for a moment, Taehyung feels as if he’s back in school, mastering his first intricate spell and showing it to Yoongi for the first time. The same fluttering feeling is back in his chest — something like pride and among it, the excited pounding of his heart.

“What’s going on between Yoongi and you?”

Taehyung dreaded this conversation from the moment he told his friends he had talked to him. Of course, they also noticed his absence last night and put one and one together. They know. They know something is happening between them.

But it’s just — something.

Taehyung doesn’t even know what it is so how can he tell his friends about it?

“Are you getting back together?” Seokjin asks from where he’s standing in the kitchen behind the stove.

Taehyung flinches at his question. “What?”

“What?” Seokjin just repeats his question back to him — as if he didn’t just ask the most outrageous thing ever.

“That’s the way he looks at you,” Jungkook explains his boyfriend’s question, “As if you’re going to get back together.”

Taehyung feels the urge to laugh but he knows not a single coherent sound would leave his lips. His skin tingles everywhere and he feels a little as if he’s going to faint.

“That’s not the way he looks at me,” He tries to argue but his voice falters in the end, shocked any of his friends would even think of this as a possibility. It feels weird. That’s not what Taehyung has been thinking about at all. He just felt grateful to be able to apologize — he never hoped for anything more.

That would be… outrageous. Yes, outrageous.

Taehyung has forbidden himself from ever letting his mind wander in this kind of direction again and he’s not about to change that now. Not just because his friends think they know more than him.

“No,” Jimin says eventually, disagreeing with Taehyung’s statement. “I’m pretty sure that’s the way he looks at you. And I mean, we all know you’d go back to him in a heartbeat if you would just forgive yourself for the past.”

“That’s not…” Taehyung starts but he trails off. There’s nothing he can say against that because… because there’s a lot of truth to Jimin’s words and he feels caught. As if they caught him doing something bad. Caught because he thought he kept these feelings safe and sound within his chest but apparently, his friends have been able to see through him the whole time. And that scares him because what if Yoongi is the same? What if he can see right through him as well?

His friends leave him alone after this and Taehyung is grateful for that. His mind is too muddled with his racing thoughts to keep a conversation going and he’s trapped within his own head, tossing and turning the possibility his friends have planted within himself around.

Taehyung doesn’t think he ever stopped loving Yoongi. His love just got drowned in all his jealousy and insecurity. But it was always there. And Taehyung knows, even though he tried to ignore and forget it, that it’s been there for the past seven years. Deep within his chest, sleeping, but always there.

The rest of the day, he thinks about what his friends said.

He spends his time behind the small house in the wild garden, hiding from everyone — especially Yoongi.

Forgiving himself… it sounds so easy now that he has apologized, right? But it’s not. And before he could ever forgive himself, Yoongi would need to forgive him. And he never said that.

A small voice in the back of his head pipes up, saying Yoongi probably did, or maybe never felt as if he had to forgive anything Taehyung did but — it feels wrong. To just assume. Yoongi is civil with him — more than civil, the voice says but Taehyung shoves it away.

It’s not as if Taehyung could just decide to forgive himself. He can’t just do that and pretend everything is over and fine now. Yoongi has to be the one to forgive him but even then…

Taehyung runs into a wall every time he reaches that conclusion. Because despite everything that happened between them, Taehyung feels as if it’s just impossible for Yoongi to forgive him. Maybe Yoongi can move on and act nice around him again but that doesn’t mean he’s forgiven him. It can’t be that easy right? Just an apology. That’s nowhere near enough. It can’t be that easy.

The sky is darkening already when Taehyung finally has a revelation. Finally, starts to slightly understand why he is so against Yoongi and him getting closer again, against the possibility of being forgiven.

Over the past seven years, he’s gotten so used to his guilt, to the shame that he now can’t even think about being forgiven. In his mind, it’s impossible. He needs this guilt, this shame. It’s like it has become a part of him.

He doesn’t want Yoongi to forgive him.

Because he can’t forgive himself and if Yoongi could do it, if he could forgive him then Taehyung has to do the same. And he just can’t.

It’s the third night of the festival. Everything is so much louder, so much livelier than the nights before. The air is filled with cheers and songs, laughter, and everyone is happy, everyone is having fun.

Everyone but Taehyung.

He’s been drinking a bit tonight. Just a little, just enough to feel a slight buzz under his skin, to feel the heat creeping up the back of his neck — just enough so he can numb these turmoiling feelings in his chest.

The music is too loud, the lanterns are too bright, the clothes are too colorful, and the people are too wild. It’s hot and humid, bonfires climbing high into the night sky everywhere and Taehyung only has eyes for Yoongi.

The other witch is with friends, dancing and having fun. Their eyes haven’t met yet.

Yoongi is dressed in silk tonight, the fabric flowing around his body like beautiful waves of water. He stands out among the crowd as if he were a candle in the darkest night, the brightest star in the sky. For a moment, Taehyung is convinced Yoongi is something out of this world.

His chest pulls taut and he quickly takes another sip of his drink, trying to get rid of the feeling. His heart is thundering in his ears and if he could, he’d look away from Yoongi, afraid to fall apart underneath him but Taehyung can’t turn his eyes away from him. Yoongi dances carelessly around the fire with his friends, laughing, and he has never looked more beautiful in Taehyung’s eyes.

And then, as if hit by lightning, their gazes meet and Taehyung forgets everything he’s despaired over earlier in the day. Yoongi approaches him with a smile so kind, so beautiful that Taehyung is rooted to the spot. His heart is so loud, his skin is buzzing, and he’s not sure whether he’s still breathing or not.

Yoongi stops in front of him and he’s talking but Taehyung can’t hear anything. That doesn’t matter though. He lets himself be pulled in by Yoongi’s spell, not sure what the other is saying and what he’s answering but he follows him. Squeezes Yoongi’s hand tight as he pulls him out of his seat, stumbling after him when he leads him into the dancing crowd of people circling the largest bonfire.

There’s a ringing in the air, Taehyung isn’t sure if he’s imagining it or not but it seems either no one else can hear it or they just don’t pay it any mind.

It’s a happy melody, excited but he can hear the undertones of nervousness at the same time, just loud enough for him to be aware of the sounds but he can’t find the source.

The warmth of Yoongi’s laughter threads itself into the melody and Taehyung turns his entire attention on him. Everything else fades into the background. All the other people wear nothing but blurry faces, the sounds of the world fade into the background and all he can hear is the melody and the sweet sound of Yoongi’s laughter. His face is the only clear thing he sees in the whirlwind of the blazing flames and colors around him.

His hand has become sweaty but he doesn’t want to let go.

The heat of Yoongi’s skin against his, even if it’s just this much, makes his heart race in his throat.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he hears the slight echo of the conversation he had with his friends but he can’t really focus on it.

Yoongi is pulling him along, twisting and twirling through the crowd as he grabs Taehyung’s other hand as well, leading him around the bonfire. They dance among the other witches as if they were in a world of their own.

The fire warms Yoongi’s pale blond hair, it catches in his deep eyes, making them burn like embers and Taehyung can’t look away. Soft shadows hug Yoongi’s face, the small wrinkles around his eyes and mouth when he smiles a little deeper than they used to be but it’s the same — the same way he looked at Taehyung back then.

And that’s when he can’t hold it in anymore.

Because it’s the same. Because his friends were right.

The words stumble over his lips before he’s even properly thought about them. “What can I do for you to forgive me?”

The smile doesn’t fade from Yoongi’s lips and he tugs Taehyung closer to him. “What?” He didn’t hear him.

Taehyung gulps before taking a step forward, grabbing Yoongi by the shoulders as he pulls him closer. He’s a little breathless. And he’s terrified but he can’t stop himself from asking again.

He talks a bit louder, his wild eyes always focused on Yoongi’s, watching for every slight change in his expression. “What do I have to do so you can forgive me?” He repeats the same question from before. He asks because he has finally made a decision. Because he wants Yoongi to forgive him so that he can forgive himself. Because he wants to let these heavy emotions in his chest go to rest and give a chance to the small spark of hope that there might be the possibility of a second chance in the future.

A second chance at what could have been the greatest thing in his whole life.

The smile on Yoongi’s face fades and he stops. Taehyung’s heart is pounding in his throat. He can barely breathe. Anxious sweat clings to the back of his neck and he’s almost about to regret his question.

But then he focuses on the way the warm light of the bonfire flickers over Yoongi’s skin and around him, the ringing of the bells grows louder.

“I’ve never blamed you for the way you felt back then.” Yoongi’s grip on his hands tightens so much it hurts but Taehyung doesn’t want to let go. His chest feels as if it’s about to explode and the bells ring so loudly, he barely hears Yoongi’s voice over them.

Their eyes are locked and Taehyung can feel the world shift around them until they are the only two people left, until there’s nothing else but this moment between them. Yoongi’s eyes shine in the darkness, his voice a spell that sets Taehyung free of all the heavy weight he carried on his shoulders for the past seven years. “I’ve never had to forgive you. But if that’s what you need me to do then I will. Then I forgive you. Then I’ve forgiven you long ago. Very long ago.”

And it truly feels like magic when Taehyung suddenly feels so much lighter, when his heartbeat is a thunderstorm in his ears, and a drum in his chest. For a moment, the ground gives out from underneath his feet but instead of feeling as though he’s falling, it feels as if he’s soaring high into the sky instead.

His eyes burn and for a second, he fears he may start crying from being a little too overwhelmed but then Yoongi starts to laugh again and Taehyung is captivated by the sound, by the sight of it he forgets about everything else. And because of that, because Yoongi still looks at him so kindly, so fondly, Taehyung can’t help but ask for even more than just forgiveness.

He just can’t stop himself.

“Will I ever be able to have a second chance? To do things the right way?”

The bells ring loudly, in a crescendo, and Yoongi reaches for his face, pulling him into a kiss that tastes familiar and at the same time, so different — new, and so much better.

“Is that a good enough answer?” Yoongi asks a bit breathless. He’s still close enough for their lips to brush when he’s speaking and Taehyung’s stomach is a whirlwind of butterflies, his chest a firework of emotions.

He doesn’t even notice the way the light of the bonfire is pulsing brightly in sync with his rapid breathing.

“It’s good enough,” He laughs, pulling Yoongi into another kiss that has their teeth clashing. Somewhere in the background, he thinks he hears the excited squeals of his friends but he doesn’t pay them any mind.

Not when the universe has given him a second chance at love.