Work Text:
Beep! Beep! Beep!
A pencil glides across paper, the soft sound almost melodic.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
An eraser rubbing against graphite. Then it stops. Then it erases again.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
..And a microwave.
“I’m coming, I’m coming! Stop beeping at me!”
A man blessed with golden hair, appearing as elegant as an angel stomps towards the kitchen not with grace, but annoyance. He huffs, grabbing the handle and swinging the microwave door open with such force that the hinges almost snap.
“Ugh. Why do you beep so often? Must you nag me like he does?”
Kaveh personifies the machine, complaining to it like it’s a perfect rendition of his roommate. He snatches out his reheated soup, and immediately places it on the counter before retracting his hands.
“Ow, ow, hot!”
‘Of course it would be hot, it just came from the microwave. Wouldn’t you think to use a towel?’
A familiar voice in his head scolds him.
..And Kaveh’s face flushes.
“..I miss him.”
Yes, it’s true Alhaitham got on his nerves, especially so when he first moved into the younger man’s apartment, but over time the two slowly repaired their relationship. To the point where it can even be called ‘romantic’.
They haven’t defined their relationship. Not yet, but they are comfortable together and enjoy each other’s company. Alhaitham would let Kaveh rest his head on his lap as he read. Kaveh would show the other his sketches of the two of them. They even sleep in one another’s arms.
…Kaveh has not told Alhaitham he loves him.
Alhaitham has not said it either.
But they know, they both know of each other's feelings, their love does not need to be put into words. Loving Alhaitham is as natural as making coffee the moment Kaveh wakes up. Though it took Kaveh a while to accept his feelings for him.
He has long accepted those feelings now, but there is a lingering sense of anxiety in his heart. Kaveh loves Alhaitham, he knows Alhaitham loves him back. So why can’t he say those three words..?
Kaveh takes a deep breath.
“I..”
He stares at his faint reflection in the now closed microwave window.
“I love you, Haitham.”
Well, he can say them, but not to the guy himself.
“Goddamnit..”
Kaveh scolds himself, before grabbing a spoon for his soup and trodding back to his desk.
Papers lay scattered across his desk, and Kaveh shifts them to make space for his bowl. He scoops up a spoonful of soup and blows on it before putting the spoon in his mouth. Mm, nothing like reheated leftovers!
It isn’t the fanciest dinner, but Kaveh knows it was bad to skip meals, so he eats it anyway. Forgetting to eat is a habit he doesn’t want to pick up again. Once upon a time, not too long ago in fact, Kaveh would often pass out on his desk from the lack of sleep and food. Slowly but surely, Alhaitham has helped him break out of that habit.
He complained about Alhaitham ‘nagging’ him, but Kaveh doesn’t mind being cared for. He would always put himself last, sacrificing his own well-being for his work and others. So, eventually, he figured it was alright to let Alhaitham care for him, indulging in it a little bit.
Kaveh had learnt to take better care of himself with the help of his roommate. His sleep schedule is much better, and he is a much healthier weight now. He’s even gained a little tummy that Alhaitham’s incredibly proud of, he often leaves kisses there, it flusters Kaveh greatly.
For the most part, Kaveh is happy. Clients are still stressful, but now, with both sleep and food in his system, Kaveh feels the effects of stress lessen. He also practices a multitude of self-help techniques, suggested by some of his friends and his newly appointed therapist.
(He had avoided therapy for so long, but with his friends, his unofficial lover, and now a professional supporting him... Things were looking up.)
His financial struggles have lessened, as Alhaitham now straight up refuses to take any rent, and he is able to work more efficiently now that he is overall healthier. But there is still one major problem that plagues his mind, and it’s his own anxiety about confessing his feelings.
They act like a couple, they call each other pet names, they sleep in the same bed. Alhaitham comes home from work, places a kiss on Kaveh’s forehead and says ‘I missed you, my light’. Yet Kaveh still can’t get out the words ‘I love you’.
Alhaitham hasn’t said it, but Kaveh knows why. He’s waiting until the blonde is ready. Waiting for Kaveh to say it first.
They act like a couple, truly, they are one. They just haven’t defined it yet.
Kaveh wants to define it. He wants to be… ’boyfriends’.
His boyfriend… His stupid genius boyfriend with soft hair, and pretty eyes…
(Ugh. Now he breaks out of his inner monologue because he is imagining Alhaitham working out.)
Kaveh finishes his soup, and then takes it to the sink to wash up. As he places it on the drying rack, he hears the doorknob twist, and the door opens quietly (they had got it recently oiled, it was too squeaky before).
“Haitham?”
Kaveh calls out. He almost has the urge to run to the front door. No, maybe that’s a bit too much.
He hears a small hum, Alhaitham’s way of saying ‘ yes’ or a term of agreement. There’s a small squeak, the sound of Alhaitham putting his jacket on the coat hanger. Then a shuffle, he must be taking his shoes off. Finally, a jingle, Alhaitham putting his keys on the holder.
Kaveh did not wonder ’why do I know his “walk through the door” routine so perfectly?’ He does not think ‘since when can I visualize it so perfectly, despite being in another room?’ Because this is natural, it’s how it has been for years.
Alhaitham leans against the doorframe of the kitchen entrance and Kaveh approaches him. Alhaitham brushes a strand of hair out of his face, and there’s a gentle kiss on his temple.
“I missed you, my light.”
That voice was the sound of home.
“And to think I once claimed you knew nothing of romance..” Kaveh’s voice was rich, deep but sweet, Alhaitham was addicted to it, the world’s most divine honey.
“Mm, I learnt from the best.“
“What? Romance novels?”
“You.”
Kaveh should be used to this. He should be used to the teasing, but it isn’t just ‘teasing’, it’s genuine affection. His cheeks redden.
“You think you’re so clever..”
He pokes Alhaitham on the tip of his nose.
“But if you learnt from me, does that not make me the master?”
Alhaitham slips two arms around him, one on his back and one around his waist. He pulls Kaveh closer, his voice softens, but the purr is almost dangerous the way it makes Kaveh feel weak.
“We are both scholars, my light. Time and time again do students surpass their mentors. You should know this firsthand, have you not created far grander feats than the professors that once taught you?”
Oh, both complimenting his work and claiming he’s the better flirt? What a tactic!
Kaveh will not lose a debate to Alhaitham. Even in his arms, he’ll fight for the last word. He has to think of something smart to say, something clever that’ll shut Alhaitham up and-
“Haitham, I want a kiss.”
..Well, his mouth speaks faster than his mind can think, he realizes.
But it does shut Alhaitham up, as the man himself let their lips touch.
“The thought of coming home and doing this is what gets me through the day...”
Alhaitham does not bring up Kaveh’s futile attempt to win the argument, perhaps that means he admits defeat.
“I would ask how work was, but I know what the answer would be...” Kaveh says.
“Same as always.”
They say in unison.
Alhaitham’s arms slip away, but he does not. His hand intertwines with Kaveh’s, before he guides him into the living room.
“Did you eat dinner?”
Kaveh nods. “Leftovers, but I still ate.”
“Good, I’m proud of you.”
They sit down on the divan, Kaveh leans against Alhaitham’s shoulder.
“Did you eat?”
“On the way home I stopped for something, yes.”
Kaveh stays quiet. He doesn’t like when Alhaitham works overtime, neither does Alhaitham, of course. Eating dinner together is one of the highlights of the day. But even if Alhaitham is not home, Kaveh will still eat. Not just because Alhaitham wants him too, but because Kaveh wants to.
He wants to eat, he wants to care for himself, because after all of his self doubt, Kaveh has decided that perhaps he can love himself, even if it’s just a little bit.
“How is the commission going?”
“Pretty good. I’ve redone the sketch a couple of times, but I’m happy with where it’s at right now. I’m probably going to stop for tonight though.”
Kaveh once worked into the early hours of the morning, but now the feeling of a warm bed with Alhaitham by his side is far too tempting.
“And the client?”
“Not the friendliest I’ve worked with, but I’m managing it.”
Gentle fingers run through his hair in a comforting motion.
“Managing it? I’m glad, you’re getting very good at that lately. What’s the technique?”
Alhaitham’s techniques to deal with stressful social environments are not the same as Kaveh’s, he prefers to distract himself and block out any noise with his headphones. While Kaveh was used to grinning and bearing it, that only made it worse. Alhaitham’s gave his advice before, which was suggesting his own techniques. But for Kaveh, he struggled to distract himself because his mind would fixate on exactly what was bothering him. So Alhaitham had suggested that it could be a conversation topic with Kaveh’s therapist.
“Basic breathing techniques, self reassurance... And bringing something to fiddle with when I get restless. That last one is really helping me stay focused during discussions with clients. Though I’ve already had to explain that I’m not fiddling with something because I’m bored or anything, but because it helps me focus and sit still.”
“What did they say?”
“Take a guess.”
“Hm, that they didn’t understand how it helped you?”
“Exactly that.”
Alhaitham gives a soft chuckle.
“That’s a comment I’ve certainly been given before, usually referring to my headphones. It’s not the concept of listening to something while working that confuses some people, but the idea that sometimes I prefer to listen to nothing at all.”
Kaveh sits up straight, lifting his head off Alhaitham’s shoulder. Alhaitham had placed the headphones around his neck. He used to wear them around Kaveh more, it wasn’t that he disliked the others' voice (his voice is the sweetest song). It was simply that Kaveh was often loud.
Realizing this, Kaveh had grown more aware of his volume. He isn’t perfect at it, but now that the two of them are on good terms, he rarely raises his voice, even if they argue.
Though, their arguments nowadays are rarely more than flirty banter, or a small issue that they resolve relatively quickly.
The fact that Alhaitham’s now more open with his words definitely helps lessen arguments. He’s still straightforward, he always would be. But he was practicing his wording. Instead of saying ‘You’ll get no work done if you refuse to eat’, he would say, ‘You’ll have a lot more energy and motivation if you have something to eat.’
They’re not a perfect pair, but little by little, they’re improving.
Almost like a rose, once withered and rotten that’s once more begun blooming. It’s not in full bloom, not an award winning floral masterpiece, but it’s growing into something beautiful.
“Not everyone will understand why complete silence calms you and helps you work, or why I bring something to fiddle with to meetings... But I think we understand each other. Better than we once did, at least.”
Alhaitham nods as Kaveh speaks, he did not have to reply for their conversation to continue, this is normal for them, for Kaveh to speak and Alhaitham to gladly listen.
“I believe there is nobody I know better than you, and vice versa. Yet you still manage to surprise me. Though that’s not an issue, I’m always happy to learn more about you. I am a scholar, after all.”
The look in Alhaitham’s eyes says everything, ‘I feel the same’ . The younger man’s hands reach towards Kaveh as he talks, gently combing his fingers through his hair as he takes out the hair clips the blonde wore, one by one.
“Now, you’ve got to hear what Tighnari told me. He called me earlier, and we talked for way too long. But I was due for a break anyway, so it was fine.”
Kaveh’s in no way surprised as Alhaitham
takes his braid out. This is normal for them.
“Collei got the highest marks in her class for her biology exam. Isn’t that wonderful? He asked if we could meet up this Friday for a little celebratory dinner. I was thinking that we definitely need to get Collei a gift, but I’ve got so many ideas. You gotta tell me your thoughts, okay, so, firstly..”
Just like they do every night, Kaveh shifts so his back faces Alhaitham, and the man picks up a hairbrush and begins to gently brush out any knots in Kaveh’s hair. To be honest, there aren’t very many, he knows Kaveh just likes the feeling of his hair being brushed.
“We were practicing eyeshadow together last week, so there’s always eyeshadow palettes. Or maybe she’d like some makeup she’s less experienced with, to practice that as well. I also saw this adorable pair of shoes the other day, they’ve got little flowers embroidered on them… I sent a photo of them to Tighnari and he said they’re her style, I think so too!”
Yes, every evening Kaveh talks, Alhaitham listens and replies when he feels it necessary. Alhaitham gently undoes Kaveh’s hair, and brushes it in a soothing notion, being careful not to pull. His had never been as long as Kaveh’s, but he used to brush his grandmother’s. This is a part of their routine, and they both look forward to this time together (or any time together). The other's presence is so normal, it truly felt like ‘home’.
They hadn’t built this building, this apartment, or this ‘house’, but they have built this home.
“Okay, I’m definitely biased. But Collei told me she’s been practicing drawing a lot, so I was also wondering if we should get her some high quality coloured pencils, or maybe even a set of nice watercolors. Hell, surely both wouldn’t be overkill? I know it’s not her birthday or anything, but she studied so hard for this exam, we gotta get her something good!”
Yes, perhaps Kaveh’s still not ready to say the words ‘I love you’, but Alhaitham knows he’s loved. Kaveh knows he’s loved in return.
Yes, perhaps they haven’t properly defined their relationship, and as much as they both wanted to, Kaveh’s still hesitant, he’s still working on things, on himself.
“Tighnari never said we should get her anything, but come on. Whatever we get, we’ll split the cost, if that’s alright?”
Alhaitham will wait, he’ll always wait for Kaveh.
Until Kaveh gives him one of his beautiful smiles, as bright as the sun, and says:
‘I love you.’