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1.
Spring split bulldozes around the corner, the warm winds filled the air again, and the GenG members began to melt into an easy synergy.
“OI,” Siwoo yells into the mic, “Argh, you can’t be serious, this ADC is trash.”
“Insulting ADCs again, Siwoo? You should be more grateful,” Jaehyuk teased (deservedly) before getting an empty bottle thrown smack bang at his chest.
“Well look at our KDA’s man…”
“Shouldn’t the great Son Siwoo be able to carry?”
“Come on!” Siwoo screamed again, watching his health bar on the screen rapidly drop to red again, the grey screen taunting him.
“Queue with my next game, I’ll carry,” Jaehyuk chuckled, watching his support’s face scrunch into a cute scowl. Cute?
“I’m not some princess Hyuk-ah, I can climb myself thank you very much.”
“So no duo?”
Siwoo hesitated, watching the nexus blow up in his face and his 0/8 Ashe raging at him in chat, before glancing over at his very own (much better) ADC sitting two seats away from him.
“Ah … Jaehyuk we’re duo-ing after this.”
“Okay, princess,” Jaehyuk grinned.
Siwoo could only groan, thumping his head on his undeserving keyboard, knowing their editor was definitely putting this in their next video. His embarrassment was not at all helped by the fact he heard Jihoon’s footsteps approaching the practice room.
“Hey, I remember it was established there was to be no flirting in the practice room?” Jihoon smirked, pretending to think.
“We were not,” both Siwoo and Jaehyuk echoed at the same time.
“Man, you two are in sync even now, it’s like you’re both Siwoo,” Jihoon sighed. Two Siwoo’s sounded like hell.
“Fuck you, I’m leaving,” Siwoo groaned, standing up as his face turned an embarrassing shade of tomato red, cogs turning in his brain. Trying to deny the fact that being synced with Jaehyuk sounded bad by brushing it off as improving their bot-duo synergy.
Deciding the mental trauma of being forced to confront his feelings for his dog of an ADC was too much, Siwoo decided to leave; streaming quotas didn’t matter when he felt like his brain was going to explode.
“You’re not allowed to swear on stream and you know that Siwoo!” Jihoon cackled.
“Wait Siwoo, come on,” Jaehyuk whined as he saw his support leave the room with a weird expression.
“Jihoon you broke my duo. You’re closing his stream for me. And if I have to play with another Shaco support OTP you owe me 5000 won.”
“Hey, I didn’t think he would take it seriously,” Jihoon chuckled with his signature catty grin watching Siwoo’s back disappear down the corridor, “And plus, I think you calling him princess broke him.”
“No way man, he calls me babe all the time,” Jaehyuk argued.
“That doesn’t make it better.”
2.
GenG wins spring smoothly, luckily, but Siwoo’s heart feels more like the KT rollercoaster every time he hears about his ADC.
“Park Jaehyuk,” Siwoo yelled storming into his room, “you better be joking.”
Jaehyuk froze in the middle of scrolling his phone to pull himself up from his bed, glancing at his very loud and unexpected visitor.
“Siwoo, it’s eight and way too early for whatever you have going on,” Jaehyuk huffed, wanting to go back to mindlessly scrolling.
“You didn’t think of telling me you had a girlfriend!” Siwoo exclaimed.
Jaehyuk thinks that he must still be dreaming. This was the first time he’d ever heard of him having a girlfriend, not that he wanted one, something about having a girlfriend making your mechanics worse (quote one very retired Samsung ADC).
“Uh, Siwoo,” Jaehyuk muttered.
“I knew it!” Siwoo cut in, speaking at around five words per second, “So is it like casual, I mean you don’t seem like the type to marry young right? What, don’t tell me she’s that streamer? When do I get to meet her?”
Jaehyuk groaned burying his head in his hands hearing the barrage of questions, this whole thing screamed of Wangho. Probably his payback for accidentally eating his takeout in the fridge after a mind-numbing six hours of league and a very unhappy stomach. Or his teasing about his hyung’s feelings towards a certain midlaner. He’s just surprised. Siwoo’s dumb enough to believe his antics.
“Siwoo. Calm down. I don’t have a girlfriend,” Jaehyuk said, rubbing his hands to calm the growing headache from Siwoo’s loud ranting.
“Oh,” Siwoo said, looking like he’d just been hit with a TF gold card, “but Wangho said?”
“He’s lying, probably payback for me eating his food?” Jaehyuk rolled his eyes.
Oh, thank god, Siwoo thought, before he caught that thought and stuffed it into a duffle bag in the back of his mind. He knows better, he should know better since Dohyun, since the string of disappointments and broken hearts he’s left behind him.
But he feels he doesn’t know anything when he catches Jaehyuk’s smirking eyes, curved into crescent moons and twinkling with amusement.
“Checks out, I knew you couldn’t ever pull, Hyuk-ah,” Siwoo giggled, letting the feelings of embarrassment and the weird knot in his gut dissipate into friendly banter.
“Oh? Now why don’t we talk about your love life then, huh,” Jaehyuk says, “I don’t think you can pull either.”
“Really! Jaehyuk, it's like you don’t even know me.” Thank god he doesn’t know.
“Yeah, I don’t think any woman would touch you with a ten-foot pole.”
“Uh-huh, sure, says the one who had that stint with that cam-girl,” Siwoo manages to rebut before falling onto Jaehyuk’s bed laughing. Man, Jaehyuk cursed mentally, Siwoo was never going to let him forget that.
Jaehyuk could only groan as he watched his support’s heavy body hit his legs. Siwoo lying on a pile on his bed, the easy banter flowing, the morning sun shining through the windows of the small dorm. He felt the most right he had since 2017.
Unconsciously his hands began to wander, slowly playing with the soft strands of black hair. Surprised at his actions he quickly retracted his hands. Even more surprisingly he hadn’t heard Siwoo tease him about it, honestly, he was expecting a laugh or even Siwoo calling him gay, but the two just sat in a comfortable silence.
Suddenly Siwoo bolted upright and turned to face Jaehyuk with a confused expression. A constipated look flashed across the support’s features before he groaned and buried his face in his hands.
Siwoo could feel the vines of Jaehyuk’s affection slowly wrap around his heart, blooming violets across his skin.
“Hyuk-ah, you’re going to be the death of me.”
Jaehyuk looks over his features, the sunlight gleaming off his lashes, and he hopes he can stay here forever, hopes Siwoo will stay in his bed. He hopes Siwoo is the death of him.
But before Jaehyuk could stare at his support any longer, he seemed to have bolted off the bed like a scared cat. Making it halfway to the door before he could’ve reacted.
“Breakfast is in twenty minutes you better get your ass moving,” Siwoo huffs before scurrying off into the hallway.
3.
They lose as the flowers begin to bloom outside the arena in spring, no matter how many ‘princesses’ and promises are exchanged.
Loss hits like a truck Siwoo walked into himself, expected and painful, god he wished he could transmigrate to some other universe. Their dysfunctional synergy had seemed so pathetic compared to the new and shining stars across the arena. The way T1’s bot-duo had looked at each other definitely didn’t set off something in Siwoo’s head.
Siwoo sits in the dark, dried tear streaks on his face, the taste of defeat heavy on his lips, mingling with the bottles of alcohol he’d downed. Always second place. He thought about his teammate’s faces as the nexus fell. Thought about the way Ruler’s face crumpled in Jaehyuk’s. Thought about love, regret, Dohyun and Jaehyuk.
Deciding he didn’t quite want to think anymore, he reached for the bottle of soju, oblivious to the squeak of the door opening.
“Siwoo?” Jaehyuk asked quietly, his eyes adjusting to the bleak darkness of the room.
“Go away,” Siwoo muttered, mustering what little strength he had to set down the bottle behind a table, hoping to hide it from his ADC.
“Siwoo, please you need some help,” Jaehyuk said, in a tone Siwoo could easily mistake for loving. He kneeled near the floor to wrap an arm around the slouched-over figure.
Siwoo let out a choked cough before deciding to lean into the warm presence next to him. He crouched over to sling his arm around Jaehyuk and collapsed into him face-first, knocking out the air left in his lungs.
“Hah, hyuk-ah?” Siwoo groaned out, “Jihoon’s with Hyunjoon and Wangho’s with Sanhyuk so stay a while okay?”
“I’m worried about you, not them.”
“Good to hear huh.”
“Yeah, darling?”
“God read the room Jaehyuk, still calling me darling, I can’t believe you,” Siwoo coughed out.
Jaehyuk could only stare as he watched his support come undone, the cocky facade melting in the blackness of the room only for him to see. The cold of the room seeps into his bones and he’s reminded of the winter he and Siwoo met in person, not in those familiar discord calls. The knowing cheshire grin the support had given him in the biting cold outside the arena and the loud ‘good luck’ he had hollered.
He would lie if he said didn’t expect to be holding the same support in his arms, he just thought it would be in celebration.
In the dark of the room, Siwoo’s arms found themselves wrapping around Jaehyuk, slowly guiding their bodies to the side of his bed. Their body heat mingled in the small corner of the room. Jaehyuk’s laboured breaths filled the air as his support pressed down on him fully.
Siwoo’s thighs trapped the other’s legs under him firmly.
His watery eyes met Jaehyuk’s softening gaze.
His frozen hand sneaked towards Jaehyuk’s face.
Behind his hair.
Against the back of his head.
Bringing them closer, until Jaehyuk could taste the sickening sweetness of strawberry soju on Siwoo’s lips.
“Siwoo.” Jaehyuk gasped, pulling away from the kiss, reeling and in denial. Mental fire alarms blared in his head.
“Don’t, just don’t,” Siwoo groaned out, as he stumbled up, “Fuck, I didn’t mean to, I mean I did, but you know?”
“It’s okay I’m not going to mention it if you don’t want me to, I mean you’re not in a good state and-,” Jaehyuk said, cutting himself off to push himself up to steady Siwoo.
“Get off me,” Siwoo snapped, “you shouldn’t see me like this.”
Jaehyuk was left reeling in the silent hallway as a very intoxicated Siwoo shoved him out of his room and slammed the door in his face.
4.
They win. They win summer, the golden confetti falling like rays of sunlight. Their fans' cheers bloom in the stadium as the nexus falls and the blue victory screen sings of their success.
Jaehyuk hugs Siwoo hard and barely restrains himself from kissing his support on national television. Siwoo’s teasing about his watery eyes drowns out the loud roar of the stadium and his thoughts about leaving so soon.
Regrettably, Jaehyuk bursts into tears at the sight of the trophy, much to everyone’s amusement.
“Leave it up to Jaehyuk to cry when he’s won, not lost,” Jihoon teased, patting the ADC on the back.
“Come on, Hyuk-ah, lift the trophy you sap,” Siwoo chimes in. Hyunjoon and Wangho try to keep their laughter in (unsuccessfully) as Jaehyuk’s tears roll down his face as he lifts the trophy and kisses it the way he wishes he could kiss Siwoo.
They all laugh and cry and run down the streets of Seoul before crashing into the GenG van and everything is perfect. They pile into a bar and drink hard, albeit happily this time. Wangho racks up an impressive bill at the bar, becoming gradually more animated with each shot, before excusing himself. Hollering a drunken ‘I’m gonna get some’ and running into a very familiar car parked outside the bar to the sound of his team’s cheers.
The night grows dark by the time Jaehyuk’s downed more than a few beers, and Siwoo’s suddenly gone. Jaehyuk quickly excuses himself from the celebrations, but not before hearing Jihoon saying something about Jaehyuk, Siwoo and his husband.
Siwoo sits outside fiddling with his hopefully working lighter, and a cigarette in his hands. Man if he was Brand life sure would be easier.
“Hey, is it me or did we win 3-0,” Jaehyuk reminded his support tapping his shoulder with a wide grin.
“Yeah, I know, Hyuk-ah,” Siwoo pouted, “Got a lighter?”
“You know I don’t smoke, and you know you said you’d quit.”
“It’s a reward, dumbass.”
“How about you give me a reward then,” Jaehyuk suggested, raising an eyebrow, and reaching out a hand to pull the other man up.
“Uh-huh,” Siwoo chuckled, “I carried so hard with Singed support, I think I’m the one who deserves a reward.”
“Man, did you go blind in game 3 or what?”
“Well, I was literally on top of you the whole game so I must’ve.”
“You know, you’re on top of me right now, Siwoo-yah.”
“Maybe you do deserve a reward then?” Siwoo whispered, leaning into Jaehyuk’s embrace.
It wasn’t anything like their first kiss, it was slow and desperate. Siwoo fisted Jaehyuk’s hoodie tightly, bringing them in for another kiss. The feeling deep inside Jaehyuk ‘s chest blooms open as Siwoo’s hands sneak under his shirt. The familiar sweet strawberry taste of his support’s lips mixed with vodka.
Words didn’t need to be said, not when both parties knew there wasn’t much to do if they did say it. The lingering taste of Siwoo remained in Jaehyuk’s mouth as he pulled away laughing. The streetlights cast a halo on his inky hair, and he looked like something ripped out of Jaehyuk’s wildest dreams.
“Come on Jaehyuk,” Siwoo said with a tilted smile, gesturing for the taller man to follow him.
“Where are we going, you know I’m nearly wasted?” Jaehyuk groaned.
“Oh was my kiss really that much of a debuff?”
“Yeah, got hit with your charm. I think you need to Lulu E me.”
“One cheesy, and two you know that doesn’t heal right?”
“Uh-huh, yeah, but where are we going?”
“Man, you’re gone,” Siwoo smiled, knowing that his ADC would’ve rebutted back in a less dazed state, “Let's go back, sober up and do something fun.”
Jaehyuk could only smile dumbly as his support held his hand, leading him to go wave down a cab. As Siwoo ran onto the open road tugging him along, Jaehyuk accidentally dropped his hands and stood dazed watching his support run down the road.
He doesn’t have it in him to tell Siwoo he can’t follow.
5.
Worlds cycle around as winter winds blow in and the comfort of autumn practices and long team ARAM sessions wears off. Those moments couldn’t stay forever.
The biting cold of New York digs into Siwoo’s skin as he layers yet another jacket to prevent his hands from freezing off. He needed to beat the no-hands Yuumi support allegations after all.
Siwoo knows Jaehyuk is considering going as a free agent, but poorly placed texts from him and the messages to an agent stamp Jaehyuk’s record in red. Siwoo knows it’s not fair of him to ask considering his own commitment issues to teams, never in the same team two years in a row the media says. However, the long days of practice and the mundanity of Blitzcrank hooks drown out the thoughts of going wherever Jaehyuk went.
They shoot their promotional video on some tall rooftop, and when Siwoo thinks a little too long about Jaehyuk and losing he wants to throw himself off. Jealousy feels like thorns in his throat when he sees Jihoon staring at Hyunjoon longingly, the inseparable mid-top duo since their rookie days, most definitely bound for another year of success.
He remembers Griffin suddenly, and he loses himself for a second, the stitches to the forgotten scars undone. Dohyun’s lucky to leave, to stand in the limelight with Meiko on his side, a voice whispers.
“Siwoo-yah,” Jaehyuk appears, scaring the shorter out of his thoughts, “You good?”
“Yeah,” Siwoo groans, massaging his temples, glancing over at Jaehyuk’s face. Does he think about him the way I think about Dohyun?
Jaehyuk takes Siwoo out after they beat Damwon, the two go to a small Korean restaurant, sitting outside upon the support’s insistence, it reminds him of home. He didn’t know when Siwoo reminded him of home too.
“Taking me somewhere nice, huh?” Siwoo said grinning.
“Hey! Is me being nice so surprising! I even asked the coaches just for us.” Jaehyuk gasped, faux offended.
“We’re almost like a real couple huh, not just Ruler and Lehends.”
Jaehyuk’s throat dries at those words. Leave it to Son Siwoo (unconventional support extraordinaire) to bring up their relationship right before finals.
“Siwoo,” Jaehyuk whispered, knowing that he probably knew, after all, wasn't it a support’s job to know their ADC?
“I’m just testing the market, you know that,” Jaehyuk continued, “I want to stay.”
“Ha-ah, that’s what they all say, Hyuk-ah,” Siwoo said, an unreadable look in his eyes.
“I know, but we’ll win World’s, Siwoo.”
“Alright, enough with your fantasies, just order.”
“Yeah, yeah I know,” Jaehyuk mumbled as the cold wind whipped across his face. He felt just as cold as Siwoo’s words.
The two finish their meal in silence and end up lying in Jaehyuk's bed, Siwoo wrapped around him. Jaehyuk’s eyes wander over the New York skyline, the blue flashing lights of the empire conjuring up a totally different support in his mind. He wonders when he became the first one to leave. He hopes Siwoo doesn’t mind.
“Come here darling,” Siwoo hummed, the pet name filling Jaehyuk with pride. The smaller fiddled with the hem of Jaehyuk’s hoodie, before leaning into his warm body heat, “distract me from you.”
“Okay, princess,” Jaehyuk murmured, pressing both of the other’s hands above his head, content to give Siwoo what he wanted.
Jaehyuk wakes up to an empty bed the next morning and a dull ache in his chest.
The note next to his bed reads:
Practice your Zeri, we’re going to win.
(And you’re going to stay.)
-1.
Ruler leaves officially in winter. Jaehyuk stays in his heart even when the spring thaws the ice remaining from his heart.
When GenG fell to DRX time seemed to stop for Siwoo. Wangho checks up on him, gentle hands around his shoulder. It didn’t help, the losses never hurt less. He still wakes up in Jaehyuk’s bed.
Siwoo knows Jaehyuk’s leaving, it was written all over him even before their loss. He tries to push down the ever-growing thorns of regret every time he sees Jaehyuk’s 10 unread messages on his phone. No contact for a while seems good.
Despite himself, Siwoo eventually forces himself to return to GenG headquarters (even at the risk of seeing a certain ADC). He finished packing up his dorm to the constant ticking of his alarm clock, blaring at him to leave GenG and never to look back.
Siwoo knows when the door creaks open, he doesn’t even have to look, it’s Jaehyuk, Siwoo knows that it could only be him.
“Siwoo,” the intruder began, before being cut off by Siwoo turning around and giving him an unimpressed stare.
“What, no flowers for our sad goodbye?”
“C’mon you know we’re not like that.” Wrong choice of words Jaehyuk groaned internally.
“Well, ‘we’ don’t have to be anything anymore. I hope China’s good to you.”
“You know we can stay in contact, right?”
“I’ll try,” Siwoo says bitterly, “Not my fault if I only try to reach you through Discord, huh?”
Jaehyuk only presses his lips into a thin line. He knew it wouldn’t work with Yongin, what did he expect now, it would work with them?
“Can I at least have one last hug?” Jaehyuk groans, scared to take more from Siwoo than he already has.
“What? Not going to ask for anything more?” Siwoo smiled coldly.
“I know you’d hate me.”
“You think I don’t already hate you?”
“I can only hope.”
Siwoo tastes sweet.
“Hyuk-ah, I’m going to beat your ass at MSI.”