Work Text:
i.
Practicing has always been Minhyung’s top priority. His fingers that constantly moving over the keyboard are his job, and the sounds produced by these actions are his daily music. His back, arms, and neck screaming for rest are something he often ignores.
And when his mind finally gives in and the word ‘defeat’ appears on the screen in front of him, his head rest on the pillow behind him. A heavy sigh escapes before he looks at the man beside him; his eyes are fixated on his screen, his hands moving swiftly, his teeth biting his lips to show how concentrated he is. When the man sighs and rests his head, Minhyung thinks, ah, it seems like he feels the same way.
Then the man beside him meets Minhyung’s gaze, which had been fixed on him. He smiles and speaks softly, “Fighting, Minhyung-ah.”
Like a mirror reflecting it sees, Minhyung also smiles. His heart feels warm with a spark that adds to its beauty. His throat tries to produce its softest voice before responding to the man in front of him, “Yeah. Fighting, Minsokie.”
It seems the exhaustion he experiences is nothing compared to the improvement of his skills and the victories his team achieves⎯ it’s nothing if it means he can see Minseok’s beautiful smile every moment he’s with him.
ii.
This is their third loss. The atmosphere among the team is tense, awkward, and the stress levels among the team and the main coach has definitely increased. The practice room is silent with no human voices⎯ only filled with the clicking sounds of keyboards. It’s sad, actually. But in situation like this, where the team’s honor is at stake, what can they do besides training like crazy?
His sleepy eyes make it hard for Minhyung to focus in the game in front of him. His dry throat makes him dizzy and frown, so he decides to get a bottle of water to refresh his mind and quench his thirst. When he is about to stand up, he sees Minseok’s water bottle is empty⎯Minhyung smiles and thinks, I should get one for him too.
Minhyung’s return to the practice room doesn’t attract much attention. The cold sensation in both his hands came from the water bottles he holds. He casually places the bottle on Minseok’s desk. His hand flinches when he seeing the name ‘Deft’ on the screen in front of the man. It feels strange, the sparkle in his heart seems to grow sweet thorns that stab instead warming him as before. The water bottle he holds feels like it shares its cold sensation into Minhyung’s body and heart.
Oddly, a plaster seems to form to cover the thorns that voraciously stab his heart when the man in front of him makes a sound with a smile accompanying its beauty, “Thanks, Minhyung.”
Instead of healing, it’s more like covering. The wounds are still there⎯ the feeling of blood flowing is also still present, the sparkle that ravenously stabs his heart with haunting bad possibilities. Even so, Minhyung can only respond to Minseok with the same smile. Because from the beginning, it’s not Minseok task to heal the thorn wounds in his heart, and it’s not Minseok’s fault either that the thorns in his heart exist.
iii.
Another loss, Minhyung, with his skilled fingers, does the same thing again. In the same seat. In the same room. The pills beside his arm that he has been consuming every 5 hours are almost finished. He understand that his body needs rest⎯ but his mind refuses him to do so. The members beside him who are equally tired, the suffocating team atmosphere, the increasingly silent practice room, and the person beside him who seems happier talking to others who share some similarities with him⎯ Minseok who seems happier exchanging messages with Hyukkyu-hyung.
Rather than jealous, honestly, Minhyung feels more like… insecure. It feels like he’s not good enough for Minseok. Whether it’s because his communication isn’t as good as his previous partner, or his appearance isn’t as good as his previous partner, or maybe he doesn’t play as well as his previous partner whom Minseok really liked. With such thought, Minhyung practice continuously: so that he can surpass⎯ no, take his place next to Minseok, right beside Minseok. Accompany Minseok, be the shoulder Minseok needs if he struggles, the place Minseok can vent his complaints, the place Minseok can share what’s bothering him⎯ he wants to be someone whose love Minseok accepts, even if it’s not reciprocated. Minhyung will be more than grateful if Minseok could acknowledge his love. Minhyung hopes Minseok accepts all of his heart.
Thinking of that, instead of growing thorns, the sparkle feels like it turns into ashes: slowly falling and disappearing somewhere along with his heart, cold seeping into his heart and stomach. The feelings of fear and anxiety fill him until his throat feels choked, the suffocating sensation around him makes his head feel heavy and spinning until the screen in front of him becomes blurry, ah, really it seems like he’s going to⎯
“Minhyung, are you okay?”
The voice that enters his mind makes his body flinch. His eyes automatically search for the source of the voice and show Hyeonjoon in front of him, holding his shoulder with a worried expression⎯ and the water dripping into his palm makes him realize what’s happening. He hurriedly wipes the tears wetting his cheeks while speaking,
“Yeah. I’m fine, Hyeonjoon-ah.” His voice sounds hoarse and restrained, trying to speak as softly as possible. He is afraid the person still practicing beside him will notice the tears falling from him.
“You’re exhausted. Come on, let’s get some air.” Hyeonjoon continues.
iv.
The gentle breeze greets Hyeonjoon and Minhyung’s hair. Both lean on the edge of the balcony while enjoying the night of city view. The beautiful lights of the city residents make Minhyung able to breath a little easier. His hair is blown by the wind with a sorrowful look under his eyelashes. Hyeonjoon is still silent beside him, waiting for Minhyung to speak, and Minhyung appreciates that.
He laughs bitterly before his lips begin to move, “Minseok, he won’t leave me if he thinks I’m good, right?”
Not long after he speaks, he can feel Hyeonjoon’s eyes widen a little, looking at Minhyung in disbelief. His mouth open briefly before he gives up and closes his mouth with a light sigh. Then, Minhyung continues to express what he wants to say, “If he leaves, it means I wasn’t good enough.”
Before continuing his sentence, he can feel a burning sensation in his eyes⎯the suffocating feeling fills his throat again. “Will he be able to leave me so easily?” he says before his emotions break. The wind there makes his cheeks feels cold because of his tears wetting them. The cold feeling is covered by Hyeonjoon’s arm bringing his face to hide in the nook of Hyeonjoon’s neck.
Minhyung can breathe easily after that. He is glad because Hyeonjoon allows him to hide from his own thoughts, even though the sparkle hasn’t returned, but it feels like Minhyung can stand back up to take the place beside the person he loves.
v.
They won. The smiles that had disappeared return to their faces. Minhyung’s smile blooms again as he looks at the screen in front of him, displaying their victory. His eyebrow raised slightly when someone touch his shoulder. He turned around to see a staff member who instructed him to go out for an interview with Minseok. Minhyung smiled and nodded slightly before calling Minseok to walk with him.
When they arrived, he and Minseok were asked some typical questions about the game they had just played. His body froze when one specific question was directed at Minseok,
“Who do you think is the best bot duo?”
Minhyung was startled; he did not expect the host to ask such question. Strangely, his heart started pounding harder than usual. Minhyung didn’t like the question⎯ or rather, he was afraid of it.
After a long silence, Minseok spoke up. And Minhyung’s heart was still pounding fast, "Well, in terms of bot duo, I think Keria-Guma is the best.”
Hearing the answer from the person beside him, his eyes widened as he looked at Minseok. The sparkle in his heart began to reappear⎯more than that, flowers started to bloom in his stomach, accompanied by butterflies fluttering inside. His face felt warm as blood rushed to his head. As his smile bloomed, he quickly turned his blushing face away.
Ah, really, if Minhyung could ask for one thing to be made eternal, he would say this without hesitation and with a happy smile: “The way I feel right now.”