Chapter Text
Christmas eve.
A special time of a year, when family and close friends gather from the furthest reaches of the world to spend a brief time in each other’s presence. Exchange stories. Or to laze around.
It also became a valid reason for Carol Danvers to return home. The darkness of endless space grew weary on her mind. And no stranger from foreign world could give her that special feeling of belonging.
She wanted to go home.
In embrace of blinding golden light she bored through atmosphere. A tiny flash on a dark facade of ginormous ball of land and water, and air… A trail of golden particles marked her entrance from darkness of space.
She passed feathery haze of thinnest clouds… Plunged in a murky mass of gigantic cyclone.
She fought layers of chilling winds… Face-biting frozen droplets… Before emerging to clear sky.
A snowland filled all the terrain below her feet. It beckoned her to come, crash down on its’ cold surface. To splash on a hard soil… To die in its’ embrace, dreaming of unfulfilled wishes…
Carol chased away grim thoughts. She had no intentions in submitting to their demands. She had things to do. People to see. Presents to give…
She violently landed on a snowfield in front of wooden house on a shore of a calm lake. The Stark residence.
She extinguished golden flames. Scarce snowflakes piled on her shoulders and golden locks, tied in a bun…
Carol shifted around two packages in her hands — one flat, one bulky. She had them wrapped in starry dark blue paper, bound by golden ribbons. She even tagged each of them – one for Morgan, one for Peter. She didn’t want to make any mistake by handing one to a wrong person. This was her first visit in a long time. She needed to make it perfect.
Carol made her way to a front door. Through glass wall she saw most of the ex-Avengers cozying themselves in dining room. They chatted their fun out, laughing at someone’s jokes.
Old man Steve Rogers noticed Carol before she rang a bell. He bid a welcome with a smile.
She greeted him back.
[Ding-dong.]
Morgan, the Hero’s daughter, saw the spacer at the door and dashed to let her in.
— Aunt Carol! — she squealed lunging to her arms.
— Hi! — Carol smiled ear-to-ear effortlessly lifting her off the floor. — Merry Christmas, Morgan!
— Merry Christmas, aunt Carol!
— I haven’t seen you for ages! How have you been? — she giggled at Carol’s antics. — You grew so much! Soon you’ll leave me behind!
— I’m growing adult, so it’s inevitable.
Carol chuckled at a cheeky brat in front of her.
— Ow, and here I thought I still could tell you a story of my travels… — she said sheepishly while following her inside. — Too bad now…
— Really? — Morgan’s face brightened with anticipation.
— I cross my heart and hope to die, — Carol said crossing her heart. — I have full bag of tales from all over the universe!
— Yay! — Morgan squealed.
She had assembled an inch-thick book, where she collected all of Carol’s stories. She illustrated each one of them by her own hand.
— Mom, — she called Pepper, — aunt Carol promised me a story!
Mother chuckled.
— I have no doubt about it. Just don’t go overboard.
— Can’t promise that! — Morgan rushed to her room to collect her treasure, the book.
Carol came to a dining room, where ex-Avengers chatted in comfy seats. The Christmas tree towered in a corner, loaded with presents. Four pictures hung on the wall behind sofa — Tony, Natasha, Vision and an unknown brunette. Carol had a feeling, she had seen her somewhere…
— Merry Christmas! — ex-Avengers greeted her in perfect unison.
— Merry Christmas, — she smiled at their weird synchronicity. — Did you perform that?
— Yes, we did, — Steve said with a smile.
— No, we didn’t! — Scott Lang gave him a frown.
— You’re late, — said Fury. — We already ate all the food.
— Too bad. No preset for you then, — her retort brought smiles to their faces.
— Ouch.
— Merry Christmas, — said Pepper coming to give her a hug.
— Merry Christmas, — said Carol reciprocating.
She cast quick look over remnants of once mighty Avengers, searching for that one youngster, she wished to see the most. Back then, on the battlefield, he left a lasting impression on her. So innocent… So vulnerable… And so brave. She admired this young man from the bottom of her heart.
— Peter isn’t here? — she asked Pepper, handing her presents.
— No. He said, they’ll be late. Drax did something to the ship. By accident, as he claimed. Peter and Rocket are fixing it somewhere out there, — she pointed at a sky.
— I meant Parker. Not Quill.
— Parker? — Pepper fumbled with reply. — Someone you know? Wait. Did I miss somebody? I thought, I sent invitations to everybody…
Carol bewildered with odd combination of words.
She forgot to send invitation to Peter Parker? The Peter Parker?!
That’s absolutely absurd!
— Probably not. He must be late.
— Oh, — Pepper sighed in relief. — Thank god. So many things piled up at the same time. I would have forgotten to make Christmas dinner all together! And its’ Tony’s anniversary… — the painful memory turned her face morbid.
Carol gently touched her hand, bringing her back to senses.
— It’s alright, Pepper. We’re all here together. That’s all, what matters.
Pepper gave her a smile.
— Thank you, Carol.
She smiled in return.
— That’s better. It’s Christmas! We’re allowed to be happy at least once a year.
Pepper chuckled.
— You’re right. I almost ruined the mood. Go on, join the gang. I’ll put your presents to the rest.
— Thank you.
Carol went to the ex-Avengers as Pepper brought her presents to Christmas tree. She put them atop giant box, wrapped in red paper. Accidentally she saw name tags, strapped to the presents. She couldn’t help but smile at Morgan’s name. But the other one disturbed peace of her mind – Peter Parker. A name, mentioned by Carol before. It sounded strangely familiar, but she couldn’t tell why. She didn’t know who it belonged to—
A realization dawned on her.
His surname sounded just like May Parker – Happy’s deceased girlfriend. Were they related somehow? But May had no children…
— Carol, — Pepper beckoned spacer to her side. — Do you know this person? — she showed name tag.
She asked about him earlier, so she should know—
Carol chocked on a champagne, a glass of which she snatched a moment ago, startling Pepper.
Her heavy coughing attracted attention from other Avengers.
— Don’t down it in one go, Carol, — said Fury, not hiding his amusement. — We won’t be able to reanimate you, even if we try.
She motioned him to shut up.
— What… [cough] do you mean?… [cough] That’s Peter Parker. [cough] Our genius Stark junior [cough]…
Carol saw the look in Pepper’s eyes.
She had no faintest idea, who spacer talked about. As if, he never existed…
A bad feeling flooded Carol’s mind.
That woman on the wall! The unnamed brunette. Carol remembered her! She saw her attending Tony’s funeral along with Peter.
— May Parker… — she murmured eyeing her picture.
Why is her portrait among deceased?
— Yeah, — said Sam Wilson, — you know her?
— I think I saw her at Tony’s funeral. She came together with Peter.
— Oh, I see.
— Why is her picture there? Did something happen to her?
— Yeah. She died—
— Carol! — Pepper rose her voice in frustration. — Who is this Peter Parker, that you keep mentioning?! How is he related to Tony?!
She looked genuinely anxious…
Carol didn’t know how to respond. Whole situation seemed so absurd, that it looked more like a prank, than reality.
— He’s our spider-boy!
This statement earned surprise from Pepper and full attention from the rest of the gang.
— You know who spider-man is? How? — asked Steve Rogers.
They all eyed her like a vault of the most crucial information in the world, which she refused to share. They demanded exclusive rights to the content.
— Enough with the jokes! You all know him! You saw him! He was at the funeral! He showed his face during battle with Thanos! Tony brought him in, for goodness sake! As a legitimate successor to his throne!
— What do you mean by that?! — Pepper fell to hysteria. — Did Tony cheat on me?!
Her reaction was genuine again.
Carol was at a loss of words. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine situation like this one.
— Wait, — gasped Scott Lang, — Tony have a successor?! Then he must be as smart as him! Why haven’t you told me?! — he tugged on Hulk’s purple sleeve.
— I don’t know, Scott, — Hulk awkwardly protected his sweater from strong clutches of an Ant-man. — Ask him yourself.
— What the hell? — frowned James Rhodes. — Why am I the last one to find out about Tony’s succession?
A glass of champagne squashed in Carol’s hand, splashing sticky liquid all over her hand and startling everyone in the room.
— What is wrong with you, people?! — Carol roared. — Why are you acting as if you never heard of him before?! Where is Peter Parker?!
— Because, — said Fury, — that’s the first time we’re hearing it. Spider-man’s dossier says he’s an orphan. There is no information of his relationship or family ties. Especially, no connection to May Parker.
— You have his dossier? — asked Rhodes.
— I have dossiers on everyone of you. The moment he joined Avengers, his background had been recorded.
— Then how come, you didn’t know his name? — asked Sam.
— I knew. But there are no records on Peter Parker in any official channel. That’s why it was flagged as fake.
Carol had just affirmed her fears. Something bad happened to the boy. So bad, that even the “mighty Avengers” were left in the dark.
— Fury, — she called him, — where is he?
— I don’t know. He decided to distance himself from everyone and ditch his spider-man persona a few years ago. Afterwards, nobody knows his whereabouts.
— Has any of you seen him? — Carol looked at the others.
— No, — Rhodes shrugged. — We thought, he retired…
These people!
They reminded of her younger self. An arrogant douchebags with no concern for others.
Carol dashed out of the room.
Through the door. To a field of cold snow. Ignited golden light. And propelled to darkening sky.
She prayed for Peter to be alright. She prayed to see him in all pieces.
Yet, the worst crept to the back of her mind.
***
A ball of light propelled over concrete garden of glass towers, engulfing Carol’s body.
She put to work deepest parts of her memory to recall Peter’s home address.
She found an old hulk, whose facade and location seemed somewhat familiar.
She traced his apartment window…
Only to find completely foreign family celebrating Christmas.
Did she, perhaps, come to a wrong place?
Carol knocked on their window.
Surprised by unexpected visitor, they rushed to greet her.
— Captain Marvel! — squealed their kid slamming open the window.
— Merry Christmas, — Carol gave him a smile. — Could you direct me to Parker residence, please? — she asked his parents. — I seem to have lost the track…
Parents exchanged looks.
— You’re in the right place, — said young mother. — Previous owner had a second name Parker.
— Peter Parker, perhaps?
— No, — she shook her head. — May Parker.
Carol fist-pumped inside her mind.
Let her memory be blessed! She found the place!
— Did she live here alone?
— As far as we know…
— Did she have a nephew? A college student about your size and hair color? — she referred to young father. — He has a nimble body. And has wide knowledge of geek culture…
— I don’t think so, — mother looked at him.
— No, — he shook his head.
— You seem pretty familiar with this person, — noted mother.
— Yes, I am! — Carol smiled brightly.
— I hope, you meet him, then.
— Thank you. I hope so too. Anyway, do you know what happened to May Parker?
— She died, — said father, — Killed by a murderer with superpowers not too long ago.
Mother elbowed him.
— Sorry, I meant no offense.
— None taken. What was that about “murderer with superpowers”? Could you tell me more?
He lowered his head in apology.
— I’m sorry, I don’t know. That’s all we heard from neighbors.
DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT!
Carol kept a poker face, while raging inside.
— I see…Thank you for information. Marry Christmas.
She gave them polite smile before bolting away.
That polite demeanor crumbled the moment she found herself alone. She started to panic.
A murderer with superpowers?! Who the hell dared to touch her spider-boy?! Did that creep do something to him?! Why did he kill May?!
If he so much as touched a single hair on Peter’s head…
She clenched her fist.
No Stone would protect that bastard from her!
Of course, first, she needed to find her boy.
But… Where should she start?
Carol elevated high above concrete garden. Glass towers filled all the space to very horizon. People appeared no bigger than ants. Streets boiled with streams of vehicles. Their buzzing noise irritated her ears. But she held her place. It was the best spot to notice any abnormal activity in the city. Any blue-red suit… Any person, jumping between the towers…
Sun gradually settled in, taking the light away. Night crept out from over horizon, plunging world in darkness.
Carol bit her thumbnail overseeing concrete garden of sky-reaching glass towers.
Spider-man didn’t show up. At all. Even though, pretty noisy turmoil took place in the last few hours.
Something definitely happened to him!
In the corner of her eyes, Carol noticed a graveyard beyond city border.
An idea struck her mind.
May’s grave! He could be there! Visiting his family!
She took off in an instant.
…
At the field of graves she faced disappointment. Among handful of visitors, that roamed the place, visiting their dead relatives, none fit characteristics of Peter Parker.
Panic seeped into Carol’s mind. These places, the graveyards, served last resort. Last bastion, holding the only clue, that could lead her to Peter.
If she failed…
…
She couldn’t fail.
…
Carol took of for another cemetery. The first of the last two.
…
The second field of graves occupied much greater area. Significantly more tombstones filled the ground. Half, of which, had a pile of fresh soil…
The graveyard had more visitors too. Families. Couples. Elderly… Loners…
A few seemed familiar. Especially, the one under barren tree.
But all of them were older men, not young adults. They had beards. They appeared exhausted and weary. Roughed by life… None radiate that youthful energy, spider-boy had.
Carol felt her heart sink, her blood scream.
He wasn’t here too…
Two out of three! Two places had already failed! The chances for the last place to succeed tumbled down at colossal speed. Could she even hope to find him there?
Statistically?
No.
Carol’s gaze landed on a garden of glass towers.
He could be there somewhere… Alone. Hurt. Abandoned.
She had an unbearable urge to erase the city off the face of a planet. She would pluck Peter out of its’ smoking ruins afterwards…
She laughed at sheer madness of the idea. And how easy it would be for her to pull that off.
In fact, that idea seemed so appealing at the moment… What else she had left to do? As Fury for help? Avengers? None of them even knew Peter now! What could they possibly do to help?
Carol clenched her fist.
No! She was not a monster!
She still had a chance. Although, slim, but available, none-the-less.
She placed all her hopes on the last graveyard.
Before she left, she stole the last glance at that person by the tree. Although, faintly, he still reminded of Peter… Even though, she couldn’t point the reason why.
Should she kidnap him and interrogate?
…
He flinched.
…
Carol stiffened. What the hell was that?!
He frantically looked around for a source of disturbance.
This reaction… Just like him…
His face! She needed to see his face!
The person looked up. To where his senses guided him…
To her.
*Badum!*
Her heart skipped a beat.
She recognized his eyes. Shape of his face. His expression…
— Peter… — she whispered.
He recognized her in an instant. His face paled.
Before he could react, Carol hurled down in a speed of light. In all her might she crashed to the ground, stripping frozen grass of snow and pebbles. Elevating them to the level of her face… Her eyes burned with unstoppable determination. She dashed at him, making an open path through snowfield. Captured him in her arms, locked in tight embrace and elevated to sky.
— Peter! — she shrilled spinning him around. — Peter!
— Carol, calm down! — he cried, terrified to his knees.
He couldn’t even dodge the capture at that speed! What could he even do NOW?!
— Peter! — she laughed in pure happiness. — Peter!
He blushed up to his ears seeing this new side of her.
— You’re crushing me! — he wailed.
Carol felt pure bliss. She had him in her arms! She found him! She reached him!
She had no intentions of ever letting him go!
— Thank goodness you are alive… — she whispered in a crook of his neck. — I’m so glad…
— Carol… — he was unsure what to do.
His heart drummed so wildly, he feared it might burst. He had never seen Carol like this. Her omnipotent and prideful self was nowhere to be found. She looked so absolutely adorable now! Dangerously so…
He wanted to see MORE of this side of her!
— I’m sorry, Peter. I’m so very sorry! I’m sorry for not coming sooner. I’m sorry for abandoning you. I’m sorry for not being there, when you needed me the most… I’m so sorry…
She kept apologizing needlessly. She kept blaming herself for all his troubles.
What did he do in his life to deserve someone like her?
— Carol, look at me, — he called her. — I’m not blaming you for anything. Stop apologizing.
She tightened her grip on him.
— I was scared, — she whispered, — that something happened to you… That I wouldn’t see you again…
He felt his cheeks burn.
How much more could she be endearing?
He couldn’t help but smile.
— I’m fine. Really.
She didn’t reply. She didn’t need to reply. He felt satisfied with her presence alone…
— …Liar. You can’t be alright. I heard what happened.
He felt a sting in his heart. He didn’t want to stain this charming creature with his mistakes. They were his own burden to carry.
But she had just proven, that he couldn’t hide anything from her.
And he didn’t want to.
— Thank you, Carol…
He really meant it. Her support meant everything to him.
— It’s alright. I won’t go anywhere.
They gently touched down on the ground, prompting a surprise from Peter. He didn’t even notice their descend.
His admiration of Carol grew by a minute.
She is amazing!
— Thanks, — he whispered sincere feelings.
In her arms he forgot everything in the world. All the troubles faded away. All the pain disintegrated without a trace.
He felt so safe with her. So… alive.
He thanked the fate for this chance to meet her. To talk to her. To touch her…
The only person in the world, who knew him!
But…
— Carol?
She shouldn’t be here.
— Hm?
She shouldn’t remember him.
— How are you here?
Nobody should!
— What do you mean? I came to get you.
His whole existence had been wiped clean!
— No, I mean, how do you know me?
Even Mister Strange – the very person, that cast the spell – didn’t remember him.
Carol pushed off far enough to see his face, but close enough to feel his heartbeat.
She looked at him in confusion.
— We work together? As Avengers? I might not look like it, but I know every member on my team.
How did she remember?
— Not that! But… also that… What I want to say, how can you remember me?
Carol frowned.
— Peter, do you think, you’re not important to me just because you’re young an inexperienced? Or, that you are a burden to others? I—
— No! — he pushed away from her. — You don’t understand! Nobody remembers me! Not even my friends! Or Mister Strange. Nobody! It should be that way! It was meant that way! Why do you?!
This confirmed her fears. Something sinister happened to this boy, that she didn’t know.
— Peter, — she asked, — what happened?
He gasped, unable to respond. Did she not know? Then, what did she apologize for? Why did she even come?
— You don’t know?
— Know what?
Her look showed genuine cluelessness.
— About the spell?
— Spell?
— Mister Strange cast a spell, that erased my existence. This is why I’m saying you shouldn’t remember me.
It took a moment for Carol to digest the news.
— …What? He did WHAT?!
Her friendly look turned cold and deadly. Golden flames sparked all over her body.
Peter’s spider sense started ringing alarms.
— There had been an accident! He just helped me to clear it! It isn’t what you think!
— What sort of “help” would erase your existence?!
— It was my fault! I caused a breach in multiverse and bad guys came after me and my friends! Mister Strange helped me to seal it!
She didn’t seem to buy it.
— And the erasure part?
— It… It was the only way to close the breach! Otherwise, things would have been way worse!
She… listened.
Peter sighed with relief.
She crossed her arms.
— I’m all ears.
Peter fidgeted. He didn’t want to involve her. But he had no choice now.
— Well… It all started, when I messed up with mister Strange’s spell. The breach then formed and a few bad guys came to this world. They caused some problems, but I managed to help them. But the breach widened. And many more bad guys wanted to invade. Mister Strange helped me to close it. By… wiping all the traces of my existence as Peter Parker. — he smiled sadly. — It worked. Although, my friends forgot me too…
— But I remember you.
He gave her a look.
— That’s the problem. Mister Strange said, the spell would work on everybody. And it did. But how did you escape it?
— Isn’t that a good thing?
He gave her an awkward smile.
— A few years ago – certainly. But now… Not so much.
Her intuition started ringing all the bells. Something felt wrong.
— Why would you say that?
His awkwardness turned to sadness.
— I made a mistake, Carol. A blind and stupid mistake, that took away everything I cared. I can’t even dream of fixing it, or asking for forgiveness, because the dead cannot revive. All I can do – carry my regret for the rest of my life. — he took a deep breathe to relax his thoughts. — After the incident, I started to think. What makes us “heroes”, Carol? What makes us right and others – wrong? The two-faced opportunists, who sit at the top and make up the rules? The con men, who claim to be our spiritual leaders? Our own imaginative idols? Who can tell what’s wrong and what’s right? Who can decide who lives and who dies? Who is the good guy and who is the bad guy? Who are we, Carol?
She didn’t know what to say. She never considered something like that. She always followed her own believes.
— I think… We are only humans. We have our limits. We can’t reach the height of omnipotent beings in this universe. We aren’t almighty. But we try our hardest to have a decent life. It isn’t always fair, but we do what we think is the best.
— Would you say that “you did your best”, if your own mother died in your arms because of your own arrogant mistake? Or, that the person, whom you tried to help, turn on you, because, you didn’t consider all the options? Or the person, who you thought for a bad guy, turn out to be a deeply traumatized man, whom you lend a helping hand only for him to be killed later?
Carol couldn’t reply.
— We aren’t limited, Carol. We aren’t hard-working. We aren’t powerless. We are bound by our understanding. We might have enough knowledge on stuff, that allows us to fight omnipotent enemies or travel in space. But if we don’t understand them, we tumble around like a cave men with a nuclear weapon.
— Then what do you want to say?
— I want to understand, Carol. Understand, why our lives are filled with so much bloodshed, that we can swim in it? Why we can’t live peacefully with each other? Why one must live while the other has to die? What is the purpose of our lives? — he activated an armband, summoning a swarm of purple runes to float around his body.
— Peter? — Carol’s heart skipped a beat seeing unknown item in use. — What’s this?
He gave her a sad smile.
— I’m glad, I could see you, Carol. Even if only for a brief.
— Why are you talking as if you’re saying goodbye?
— I hope, you’ll have a good life.
— Peter!
He thought for a moment.
— Be wise, Carol. Unlike me.
Before she could react, Peter touched a launch button and vanished in short burst of purple radiation.
— PETER!
Carol’s blood froze.
She had no idea, where he went.
She had no way to track him.
She couldn’t stop him.
And that armband… A magic tool, no doubt.
With it, he could have gone anywhere in the universe!
Or… He could have died here and now.