Chapter Text
His whole body hurt, and his eyes were glued together– at first, Neji wanted to continue sleeping, though his hunger was worse than his tiredness. No matter how much he tried to rest once more, his rumbling stomach refused to cease its sounds, not allowing him to remain asleep at all.
He felt as if his stomach had been completely empty for a while, as if he hadn’t eaten for weeks or longer. It was hard to ignore, much less when a familiar presence was beside him in silence, holding his hand and caressing it without thinking; the brunet couldn’t help it but entwine his fingers with them, not wanting to let go by mere instinct, hearing a surprised gasp in response.
“Darling? Are you awake?” the other person mumbled after mere seconds, not wanting to startle him too much.
Only then was Neji able to open one eye, then the other, finding a worried Lee sitting down beside his hospital bed– in one of those uncomfortable chairs the facility had, with darkness underneath his gaze. Who knew for how many days (or even weeks) had he been awake for? Just… waiting for the brunet to wake up once more, not taking care of himself at all.
“L… love,” he muttered, noticing that his boyfriend stirred up upon hearing his voice, getting closer to him with trembling lips. A gentle hand accommodated his unkempt hair, letting him continue talking in the meanwhile. “What… what happened?”
“The war, you– you almost died, Neji. But you are safe, and– you just need to recover, dearest… you are alive.”
Lee's eyes were glassy with tears, and he seemed to be comforting himself with his last mumbles. Neji could barely move due to pain, yet he made an attempt to extend an arm towards his partner, who realized his intentions and carefully embraced him in silence– sobs could be heard every now and then, to which the brunet just began to play with Lee's overgrown bowl cut, still too weak to say or do anything apart from that.
At one point, his partner fell asleep on his arms, finally calm after seeing Neji awake and well once more. Reassured that he was safe and everything would be alright at last, knowing well the brunet wouldn't remain asleep for the rest of their years.
He gently kissed Lee's forehead and kept caressing his hair, not wanting to bother him in the slightest– he had been worried sick for who knows how long already, and he didn't want to startle his beloved just because. Not even the nurse woke him up, already remembering the taijutsu master’s face due to all his visits, knowing well how little he had probably slept during the length of Neji’s coma.
They would need to catch up later, and a long time would pass for him to recover– so he just yawned and snuggled with his boyfriend, not wanting to worry about anything else for a while. He knew that Tsunade herself would go visit him at some point, wanting to make sure everything went smoothly after recovering consciousness…
And so she did, a couple of hours after he had woken up, opening the door startling both boys at the same time, though they didn’t let go of each other at any moment. The woman chuckled at seeing them being so close, yet she made no comments about it.
“You'll be seeing me for a long time, kid. For now, I need to examine you,” Tsunade began to say, grabbing her tools and paper to write some notes before getting closer, giving the brunet some time to prepare himself mentally.
Lee had to help him slowly sit on the edge of his mattress, smiling at him every moment– he knew exactly how much Neji hated doctors in general, much less when a physical exam had to be done. At least the ex Hokage knew better than to pry, giving him time and space to remove his shirt to listen to his heart and lungs better, never making any kind of comments about his chest. Using her chakra to mend anything that could be wrong inside of his body, not wanting him to go through more exams with unknown people.
She was nicer than most doctors, that couldn't be denied– still Neji looked towards his boyfriend, who hummed and caressed his hair in an attempt to distract his mind. Always staring into his eyes with the warmest smile on his face, kissing his (now blank) forehead once everything was done.
“You're lucky as hell, Neji. Your organs healed better than expected, and I'm sure you'll be back to normal in no time!” Tsunade informed them with a grin, and the brunet just nodded in response. “Just… you'll need to learn how to work without your Byakugan. But don't worry about that– rest. Tomorrow, we'll start to help you recover some strength in your legs.”
“Thank you, Lady Hokage– Lady Tsunade,” Neji replied, correcting himself almost immediately after realizing his mistake, which only made the woman chuckle in response.
“I'll leave you lovebirds alone now. Just call the nurse if you need anything.”
They both blushed upon hearing her words, but she wasn’t wrong– although the brunet did his best to keep their relationship a secret, it was as obvious as the sky if someone paid enough attention. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case with his uncle, so nothing bad had ever happened to either Lee or him.
Now that the seal had been erased from his skin, nothing could hold his love for his boyfriend back– not even Hiashi himself, no matter how much he would certainly complain. He still wasn’t happy by letting him live as a man, and still treated Neji as if he was still a little girl
He wouldn’t give him a single warning before leaving the Hyuga compound just to never return. Lee had been the one to suggest moving in together after the war, before he became severely wounded– would his partner remember a promise made between the short naps they had in the battlefield, or…?
“Lady Tsunade is really respectful,” Lee commented out of a sudden, letting out a soft smile after helping his partner lay down again. Neji yawned and extended a hand towards the other boy, who grabbed it before continuing. “When she helped me with my spine, she never questioned me– other doctors kept misgendering me, but she never did.”
He couldn't help it but hum contently, closing one eye then the other, already tired from getting up for long; his energy was low, though it'd only get better with time. So for now Neji had to follow Tsunade's advice, getting comfortable on his mattress to try and rest for a while, knowing well his body would hurt like hell the following days. Or weeks…
~
He woke up when the nurse brought him breakfast, and his room was completely empty apart from her presence; she had a huge grin on her face upon seeing him looking up at her eyes, and wasted no time in bringing him his plate.
Neji didn't trust her wide smile, or her playful voice, but he preferred not to say anything unless necessary. He didn't want to cause a fuss just because.
“I got some jelly for today! You'll need to eat soft foods before getting anything solid, and then you'll be back to kunoichi tasks in no time, Hikari,” was the first thing that the woman had said, and he just rolled his eyes. “What? Aren't you excited to work again?”
“It's Neji, not Hikari. I'm not a girl,” was all he said, knowing well that hell might unleash on him just by correcting her– that was exactly why he hated doctors almost as much as he hated his uncle. He could see disgust showing on the nurse’s face, even if she hid it immediately after behind a grin.
“Well, that's what your papers say. You're not a boy for me until your documents say otherwise.”
After so many years, Neji didn't even react, remaining in silence while he ate. It wasn't worth it to fight back, much less when he was so weak in both body and mind.
Somehow, it hurted more to hear his old name than anything else, but he didn't want to think too hard about it– he tried to focus his mind on nice things, already missing his boyfriend's soothing presence beside him.
Although he would’ve loved Lee to remain beside him for a bit longer, his boyfriend was still a ninja– he had to go on missions and help rebuild parts of the village as needed, and train for the upcoming Jounin exams. There was a lot on his hands… for now, the brunet would enjoy these scattered occasions in which the other boy could visit, cuddling against medical advice.
After he was done with his food, Neji found himself alone for the first time since waking up, observing a fresh bouquet of sunflowers and roses on his nightstand. Notes from his team and his other friends were neatly folded close to the flowers, all wishing him a speedy recovery.
A soft smile appeared on his face upon seeing everything, covering the anger that came due to the nurse from earlier that day, and he read every letter to distract himself further– though a particular thing was still on his mind: he didn't feel angry at being treated like a girl, but at being called by his old name.
If it had happened before, Neji would've snapped even more in complete disgust– though it didn't feel wrong to refer to himself as a boy, or hear himself being referred to as a girl.
Gender was complicated as hell, and the seed of doubt was now buried deep into his heart; he had known his whole life that he was Neji and nothing else, and his father had been the first person to support him, but now…
He never liked being a girl, just by seeing how other Side Branch members and his little cousins were treated for it– it was torture, while boys had it easy in comparison. Or so it seemed in his young gaze.
Neji had some time to figure it out, away from the Hyuga compound and protected by Tsunade in the hospital; he only needed to focus on walking once more, ignoring his pain and difficulty in the meanwhile with the help of physical therapy and the fifth Hokage.
It would be alright. And he had many people who would support him no matter what, even if he didn't want to talk about his realization just yet. A secret only known for his mind and soul, growing with every passing day in the monotone pale walls of his room.