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“This is the light of the mind, cold and planetary. The trees of the mind are black. The light is blue.”
Sylvia Plath
One
And though it was churning, the air was still.
She stood on her hightop castle, forged with her own hands, her own mind. She was alone. Powerful. Insurmountable consistency in the light…
…and she was a murderess.
Jane looked down from the fruits of her labor. She had ran from Arendelle, a Queen. But at what cost…?
The looks on her parents’ frozen faces were burned on her brain. She hadn’t meant to do it. It was an accident…a mistake.
Just like her.
And now she was an orphan. Alone in the wide world; and she had built herself a fortress…remote though it was. It allowed her respite from the people whom she cared for, for she posed a threat now. She was dangerous.
She was a witch, she was certain.
…and ice filled her veins.
“I can do it, Father!”
“No, Loki. No…”
In that fateful moment…Loki let go.
He let go, because he hated himself. He let go because he wanted death…he desired it. It was the truly the only way to escape the hell he was in…
Being a Frost Giant was being a monster.
And he hated himself.
And he fell…down…
…to Midgard.
Jane had taken to walking in the snow-filled wood surrounding her castle. She never ventured terribly far, but it was good to get out and about after spending so much time inside of the castle.
It was lonesome, to be sure. But Jane recognized the importance of keeping her distance. She was dangerous.
One particularly bitter, albeit bright, day, she was walking as was her custom through the thick wood. Her long skirts brushed along the soft floor of the wood, and she pulled her hood up to avoid scratching her face on the branches of the evergreens, reaching for her in the thick.
She reached a clearing, and there, in a heap just beyond, laid a person.
Jane froze. She hardly breathed.
Was the person dead? Injured? Asleep?
“Hello?” she said.
Nothing.
She went over to the heap on the ground, and almost nudged him. She pulled her hand away quickly, and stood erect.
“Ah hem,” she cleared her throat.
And then the heap stirred. It turned toward her. It was a man.
He sat up, rubbing his head. “Where am I?”
“Ah, well…just north of Arendelle.”
His face betrayed confusion. “Is that on Jotunheim? No…surely not,” he looked around…”No…” and he stood. “You are no Frost Giant,” he looked her up and down.
“Heh. No…” Jane smoothed out her long overcoat. “What is your name?”
The man seemed to be considering something. “It’s…Lucas. And what did you say your name was?”
“Jane. I’m Jane. And this is my wood.”
Lucas looked around. It was a small enough wood. He must have landed on Midgard. How very unfortunate for him. “Apologies. I must have lost my way. Might you show me to the nearest village?”
Jane looked at Lucas. He was dressed oddly. “Are you a soldier?”
“I…” he paused. “In a matter of speaking, yes.”
She nodded. “You must be hungry. I can feed you. If you’ll follow me,” and Queen Jane turned with some purpose, and headed in the direction of the castle.
Loki paused for a moment, then decided to follow her. There wasn't much choice at this juncture, anyway.
And as they reached the clearing, he saw it:
A magnificent castle, looming on the rise, appearing to be made of glass. It wasn't huge, no. But the turrets were intricate, the lines, carefully crafted…”This is yours?” he asked.
“It is,” she replied, without looking at him. She started up the castle stairs, lifting her skirts to avoid stepping on them.
Loki nodded to himself, then followed her. Inside they went, and the light emanating from the inside of the castle was muted; it filled every crevice…it seemed to positively glow. “This is an unusual castle, Jane. You Queen here?” he touched the wall, and his finger slid a bit. It was smooth as ice…he looked around quickly, and his intake of breath was sharp.
It was ice.
Ice…
“I am,” she replied, reentering the room. “I have things cooking outside. They cannot cook properly in here,” she added lowly.
“No,” he said. “No…I wouldn't think so,” and he looked around, finding a place to sit. He would follow her lead. Not mention the ice unless she did.
Though it was hardly hidden…and he smiled. “This must have taken a great deal of time to build properly. Are we very far from the valley?” he sat.
“Yes,” and she went to sit across from him. “Yes. The altitude allows for peacefulness.”
“And thin air.”
She cocked a brow. “I suppose so. Are you from Eberline?”
“Pardon?”
“The kingdom just thirty miles or so from here. I assume you lost your way…?” she would feed the soldier and then send him away. She couldn’t risk hurting him…killing another…
“Ah. No…much further than that. No. I don't think you’d know it.”
“Try me,” she smirked.
“Asgard,” he replied.
Jane looked to the ceiling, vaulted high above them. “Hm…ah…no,” she looked at Lucas. “I believe you have made that up.”
“I assure you I have not.”
Jane stood. “Well, have or haven’t, I’ve never heard of it, and I am familiar with the local geography quite intimately,” she turned and left.
“Intimately,” Loki repeated.
Jane returned with a bowl of food, and handed it to Lucas. “Here. I am not much of a cook, but I try,” she smiled, and sat once more.
“Thank you,” he took it. “Tell me, did you design this palace?’
She blushed. She was so ashamed! Her power had always been such a source of shame and embarrassment, and now was no different. She shifted. “I did.”
“It’s lovely,” and he took a bite. This Queen was a sorceress, he was certain.
… perhaps she might be his ticket back to Asgard.
“Thank you,” and her smile was a sad one. Jane wanted so much to be a source of good, but her touch was ice. She only recently began to be able to control the tendency. And only mildly. “So, will you go to Arendelle, then?”
“Where?”
“The kingdom. Just below in the valley.”
“No, Your Highness,” though the address stuck in his throat a touch. “No, if it is agreeable to you, I’d much rather stay in your enchanting palace for a while,” he smiled.
“No!” Jane exclaimed, standing. “No,” she collected herself. “You really cannot.”
“Why?”
“Well…I haven’t the proper accommodations.”
“This palace is enormous. I am certain I can find something which suits.”
“I…have no servant for you,” she tried again.
“I require no servant. I am perfectly capable of seeing to my own needs.”
“I…” she hesitated, not wishing to divulge the real reason for her hesitation. Jane’s back straightened. “As you like,” and she turned, going up the staircase.
And Loki followed.
Jane pushed open an icy door and there was a small bedroom…sparsely furnished. “I apologize,” she said. “It isn't much,” she smiled crookedly at him.
“It’s more than fine,” he nodded.
And Jane left the room, unsure of what just happened.
…Loki waved his hands, and the room was suddenly full of comfortable furniture, books, and the like.
Two
The next few days passed without much occurrence, and Jane and Lucas fell into an easy stride. They would dine on whatever Jane concocted, and then speak for a while amicably. Jane would walk through the wood nearby, and Lucas would hang behind, examining the palace, attempting to understand the magic which built it.
Jane would return, and longed, in some way, for a fire…she remembered them from her youth. Father setting them, mother making cocoa…
But it was impossible in a castle made of ice.
It had been about five days thus, and Jane voiced her lament. “When I was a little girl, we had fires all the time,” she sipped her wine.
“So…this wasn't your home growing up?”
“No,” she laughed. “No…my parents were King and Queen of Arendelle.”
Loki sat back. “And what happened to them?”
Jane’s gaze fell. “They…they died.”
He nodded. “And you left?”
“Yes.”
‘And built this palace?”
Jane shrugged.
Loki let a stiff breath out through his nose. “You can have a fire, you know.”
“How? The palace is made…”
“Of ice. Of course,” he quipped, matter-of-factly. “But there is such a thing as outside of the palace,” he smirked.
Jane blushed. Of course, she knew that…”But…”
“Come, Jane,” he held his hand out.
She recoiled. “No!” she cleared her throat. “I mean, it isn't proper. Let’s go,” she stood, a bit mortified at what had just occurred.
Loki drew back his hand, confused. Odd, that.
The pair made their way to the land below, surrounding the palace. He breathed in the cold air, and looked around. The sky was peppered with many pixels of light, and he thought about his home in the distance…far away on the topmost branch of Yggdrasil.
…no. Not his home any longer.
“Gather some wood, Jane,” he said. He would have her fetch some tinder, and he would summon the fire while she was gone.
She nodded. It felt oddly pleasant to be told to do something. Her entire life had been comprised of people looking to her for answers, or else being alone, making decisions for herself.
She walked in through the wood, and began to select some branches for a fire.
How long it had been since she enjoyed the warmth of a fire? It was difficult to say. Jane had been the Queen in solitude. She couldn’t touch anyone for fear of killing them. But it had been wonderful to be in the presence of someone else. Someone who seemed to care, if even a little.
She had a nice bundle, then went back to the base of the palace.
…where a roaring fire was blazing, and two chairs were perched.
“Lucas! You…”
“Started the fire, yes. I hope that is all right?”
“More than, Lucas,” her eyes met the fire greedily. How good it was to be able to enjoy its warmth! She sat on one of the chairs, not bothering to ask how they came to be there. “Sit,” she smiled.
And he did.
Jane folded her hands on her lap. “Tell me of your family,” she said. “You hardly talk about yourself at all.”
Loki shifted. He cleared his throat. “Well, we aren’t speaking, currently.”
“Oh! Had you an argument?”
“We did,” he smiled. “And I left.”
“What was it about?”
“Ah…” he paused, folding his hands. “My father and I don’t see eye to eye.”
“About?” “Everything, really,” he laughed, and for a moment couldn’t believe that he was laughing about it. “We don’t get along.”
“No. Well, I’m certain he loves you.”
Loki’s eyes narrowed. “How would you know? How can you know?”
“He’s your father,” she simply said.
“In name only.”
“I’m sorry?”
He sighed, rubbed his face. “Jane, I do not want to have this conversation.”
“Well, perhaps I do. And since I am a Queen…” “You, a Queen? What of? Your ice palace? Please, don’t make me laugh.”
Jane’s mouth narrowed. Her eyes blazed…she could feel the ice building in her fingers…she folded them, looking down. “You should show some respect.”
And now Loki’s visage turned. “Have you no idea whom you are addressing?”
“Tell me,” Jane replied.
“I…” but he stopped. He gathered his thoughts. “Apologies, Your Highness. I forgot myself.”
Jane nodded. “I’ll gather more wood,” she stood and went to do just that. She turned and walked into the wood, her mind full of the conversation she just had with Lucas.
He was hiding something, she was certain.
She bent and picked up a stick.
He was an interesting character…over the past few days she had learned much about his temperament. He was taciturn, but not completely unpleasant. Intelligent. Somewhat amusing. Yes, he was abrasive occasionally. Moody. Bit…mysterious….she picked up another branch. But there was something undeniable about him…
…they were alike. They seemed to share the same melancholy. And Jane found solace in that.
She turned, for just then, she heard a disturbance.
There, in the clearing, stood a wolf.
Jane backed up, fearing that she might inadvertently do damage to the creature.
The wolf crouched, teeth bared, about to strike…
“Stop!” Jane held out her hand…her breath was a vapor in front of her.
But the animal was not deterred, and he lunged at her…
…there was a light in the hollow, illuminating the wood, and Jane was pinned beneath something heavy in an instant.
She was panting hard…pushing against the solid mass.
And then she pushed it off. She had turned it to ice. Jane scrambled up and brushed the hair from her face, which had fallen out of the bun at the base of her neck.
“What did you do?”
She looked up, and saw Lucas standing, arms slightly extended outward.
“I…” she breathed. What did she do?
Lucas came over to her and touched the wolf made of ice. “You did this?”
“I did,” and she felt tears burn the backs of her eyes.
“How?” and he went over to her to help her up.
“Don’t touch me!” she screamed, taking her hand away from him.
Loki, looking at her crookedly, retracted his proffered hand. “Very well,” but there was a look of confusion about his visage. “I meant no harm.”
“Sorry,” she replied sheepishly.
He cleared his throat. “Come back to the fire, Your Highness.”
Jane nodded, and stood…pulled her coat closer, and followed Lucas to the fire.
…as for Loki, he was more intrigued than he cared to admit. She had magic, to be sure. And there was more than just that. Something of a link between them he couldn’t account for. He reached the fire and stood with his hands folded behind him.
“Shocking, I know.”
“It is, yes,” he replied.
“I’m dangerous.”
“Are you?” he had heard that before…
“Everything I touch becomes ice. I cannot love. I need to stay away from everyone, including the people of Arendelle.”
He looked at her now. “That’s a lot to assume.”
“How would you feel, Lucas, being a monster? Unloved, feared…? A danger to everyone you cared for? How would you have felt if you killed your parents?” she spat…
…and then the tears began to fall…
…and Loki was moved. “I may know a fair share more of all of that than you realize,” he went over to her, and Jane backed away. “Shh,” he said, and held his palm out under her chin…her tears fell into it, and turned into tiny gems.
She gasped, and touched them with her gloved hands. “Beautiful,” she whispered.
“I know more than you realize.”
And just then, through the clearing, emerged a person.
Jane and Loki were taken aback, stepped away from one another.
“My Lady, my Queen,” he panted.
“Are you unwell, sir?” Jane asked, concerned.
“It is Arendelle…she is frozen…”
“Frozen?”
“Yes,” he breathed. “You must come posthaste…break the spell we have suffered these many months…”
Jane stared at him, unbelieving, then looked at Lucas. “What can I do?”
“Go to Arendelle,” he answered.
Three
Arendelle was situated in the bosom of a crest of hills…placed by the hands of the goddess, nestled in nature’s own artwork painting.
But now, endless winter held the Kingdom close; without warmth, undone, no sweet breeze…only steady, sickly, cold.
And Jane and Loki emerged atop the precipice through the trees, with the messenger in their wake. She looked down into the valley and gasped.
“Oh no.”
Loki looked at her. “Is this your doing?”
“I…I don’t know. I suppose it must have been…that was never my intention.”
Loki nodded, and began to descend into the valley.
Jane followed, full of shame at what she had done to Arendelle. She ruined everything that she touched. She was a monster…
“Seize her!” came a yell.
Loki turned at the yell…he summoned the seior…and green light began to emanate from his hands…he wouldn't allow her to be seized.
Jane screamed, and a chain was wrapped around her…immediately it turned to ice, and she removed her gloves…
…she put her hands up, “Come no closer!” she yelled, breathing heavy.
Loki retracted the seior, waiting for her to respond. He stayed his wait, determined all the same to come to her immediate aid.
“i am sorry! I never meant…”
“You did this to us! You made the winter stay!” the crowd gathering was yelling.
Tears formed in her eyes. “I did…I did this…and I don’t know how to undo it…” she sobbed.
“Jane,” came Lucas’s voice. “Jane…”
“Don’t come near me, Lucas…I’ll only bring you harm.”
“I don’t think so,” and Loki came nearer. “I think that you’ll find that I can withstand any magic you possess.”
Jane was shaking. “What do you mean? Everything I touch I kill.” Loki was in front of her now. He took her hand in his…and she gasped…”How…?”
“You and I are not so different…” his blue skin flashed a bit in the dull winter light.
“Blue…” she whispered.
“Frost Giant,” he smiled.
…and he could not believe what he was saying. But this mortal, not so mortal, was more like him than any being he had ever encountered. She was kin, a sorceress, frozen, and lovely in the blue light of day…
“What?”
“I’ll explain later…” he whispered…and he leaned down…claimed her mouth…
…and between their grasp, a blue light dawned, reaching up for the dome of sky, exploding in a sonnet of song, melting the winter of Arendelle…
Jane pulled away, astounded by the turn of events.
He cupped her face.
“What are thinking?” Jane asked.
“Warm thoughts,” he smiled.
…and birds cooed overhead.