Chapter Text
The morning after her 18th birthday, Maria left the small village that had been her shelter and set out for the world alone.
Her nomadic childhood had set deep in her core a need to move and travel and experience, and the three short years at the village had bordered on painful as she grieved in a house stuck in place. The village people couldn’t comprehend her nomadic heart, and their urges and warnings of the dangers and challenges of the world fell on deaf ears.
So at dawn, the day after she became an adult, Maria walked out of the village with nothing but a bag on her back containing food, clothes, and a small amount of money, and her staff in her hand.
She supposed that the urge to learn under a wise master had come from her inability to see, which had resulted in a natural dependence on others to instruct her. Her lack of knowledge in the arcane nature of her own abilities left her to seek out places of magical teachings, searching for great libraries containing ancient knowledge and well-established arcane schools of magic and teachers both big and small.
Many places rejected her, some simply on sight. If it wasn’t her mixed heritage, then it was her sorcerous origins. Or her blindness. Or her gender. Or she wasn’t old enough. Or she wasn’t young enough. Or she didn’t come from the right place. Or she didn’t have a reference. Or they didn’t take “her kind”, and she never knew what exactly they were referring to when they said that. She learned to hide her source of magic out of habit and spoke nothing of her origin other than to say that she had been studying magic from a variety of teachers. The words themselves were the truth, but their phrasing led most to believe she was a wizard.
And she did slowly find teachers. Many of them were teachers of a small group or a retired magic user willing to pass on knowledge, with some being innately magical like herself and others taught and learned. And for everyone she met, she took a certain impression away, and she left a certain impression behind. But no impression Maria had left nor taken away was quite like Lo’Nactha.
Lo’Nactha could have been considered a monastery for the arcane arts; not exactly hidden, but not exactly well-known either. There were about 30 to 40 students at any given time, all at different places in their teaching journey. Some came and went within weeks, others had stayed for years to learn and study under the wise teachings of High Master Nihjo. The High Master taught with wisdom and knowledge and kindness and patience. He saw the blind half-elf who stopped at the monastery door in the early light of morning, begging to be taught, and looked past her physical form to welcome her in.
There were many kinds of people in Lo’Nactha from many backgrounds, locations, childhoods, and races, and surprisingly Maria hardly stood out with her half-pointed ears and faded milky eyes (this was in the days before she found Abra, who certainly would have made her the talk of the school). High Master Nihjo himself was a shorter man with a pinched face and small pointed ears with fair skin and large black eyes, short for human standards but not abnormally so. There was also Selvara, a tall but young elf with stunning long hair whiter than the moon’s light and with crystal blue eyes clearer than ice. She took Maria under her wing upon sight, assuming that being ‘taken under her wing’ involved being roommates, sharing meals together, spending long and often late hours reading books about history and complex arcane knowledge, Selvara constantly yabbering excitedly away to an attentively listening Maria, and nicknames that Selvara was insistent on, calling Maria “Mary” within a matter of hours, so it was only fair that Maria started calling her “Selvie” in turn with a laugh in her voice.
They quickly became very close friends.
High Master Nihjo was the main teacher of Lo’Nactha, with Master Kan and Master Penny covering more specialised topics. They ran a knowledge-based school, with lessons most certainly aimed for those who taught themselves magic but Maria knew that even those naturally gifted could learn through knowledge. Since no one ever asked, she never revealed her true magical source. Selvara and Maria learnt side by side under the clear stars and the crisp night air and under the shade sheltered from the midday sun’s heat.
Selvara was known as a kind and attentive student who was eager to learn and discover and grow. Maria quickly established herself as a student of sharp wit and discernment, cutting to the heart of the issue and asking questions beyond the surface level. The two of them soon gathered a small group of assorted friends, but none clicked quite as nicely as Maria and Selvara did.
Of course, nice things couldn’t last.
Only half-isolated as it was, word of the mage war still passed through Lo’Nactha frequently. Many of the students and teachers didn’t appear to care much, far too focused on their studies and learning, save for Selvara. Maria had spent just over four months at Lo’Nactha when one mid-afternoon, in the company of their small group of friends and in the hearing of the other students studying and passing by, the white-haired elf spoke her mind (as one did in Lo’Nactha).
“I’ve been researching the two major mage guilds, the Daybreaks and the Nightfalls,” Selvara said, calm and curious but excited none the less. “Their history is rather interesting as are their beliefs, but their actions have made me curious.”
Selvara yabbered on, discussing this and discussing that and while Maria cared for her friend, she utterly zoned out. She had no interest in the guilds, in the war, and all the polarising patriotic talk made her sick. But she snapped back to attention rather quicky when she heard Selvara say “-Daybreaks really have got it right about this whole thing-“
“I’m sorry, pardon me,” Maria interrupted, quite suddenly but this was important. “Could you repeat your sentence Selvara? I think I may have missed a bit.”
“Oh! I’m sorry, I must have spoken too fast,” Selvara immediately apologised, understanding and kind. “I said that when you consider the Daybreak’s theology and their beliefs regarding the magical world, they really have it right about this whole thing. They understand the nature of the world far more than the Nightfalls have.”
“What exactly makes you believe that?” Maria asked. “Could you give me specific examples?”
“Certainly!” Selvara produced her ‘notebook’ (a massively large tome with pages nearly falling out from overuse). She flicked through the pages, searching for one specifically as she spoke. “I’ve been examining their written history and comparing it to other records and I haven’t found any inconsistencies as of yet- Ah, here! Well, there are several examples but I feel that this is the best.”
Selvara began to give arguments for her beliefs in true scholar fashion, providing evidence and support. And for every argument she brought up, Maria had a rebuttal, and for every evidence she presented, Maria proved it wasn’t applicable. From the supposed origins of the Great Explosion to the workings of the gods to modern-day events, every claim Selvara had for the Daybreaks, Maria had a way to prove it wasn’t reliable. Their debate grew quite a crowd and their small group of friends swelled to most of the students at Lo’Nactha as Selvara’s voice became raised in annoyance at all her evidence being discredited, while Maria was as calm and unmoving as a rock in a storm-tossed sea.
“Alright fine,” Selvara yielded finally, her tome long-since shut. “I yield, you have made your point, we don’t know the truth of the past and everything we know must be viewed with an open mind and compared with other documents. But that doesn’t change that wild magic users such as druids and sorcerers frequently abuse magic to their own ends and destroy nature! They cannot learn how to control their magic-“
“I disagree,” Maria calmly interrupted but with a firm edge to her voice. “Many druids and sorcerers care not to learn, that is true, but that does not apply to all of us. To say they cannot learn is like saying the skies never give rain simply because it is often sunny. I am here to learn after all.”
“Well yes Mary, but you’re a wizard,’ Selvara said with some of her light-hearted laugh coming back. “But sor-“
“I never said I was a wizard.”
The words cut off Selvara’s words, a silence falling on the crowds. “I… what?” Selvara asked.
Maria raised her chin slightly, staring blindly into the void. “I’m not a wizard. I’ve never said what I was and I let you all assume, which I understand was misleading of me and I will ask for forgiveness for that in time. But my magic was never taught to me. It was given to me by the earth, by the gods, and by the forces of fate that tie us all in her complicated quilt. I choose to seek out teachers to learn, that I may understand my magic and use it safely and wisely. But…” She raised her hand and dancing lights popped into existence around it without a single word of incantation, spinning and weaving intricate patterns the blind half-elf could not see, but rather feel. “I am first and foremost, a sorceress. Not a wizard.”
The gathered people were in shock, Selvara most of all. It was true that Lo’Nactha accepted all people but as Maria had so aptly pointed out, sorcerers rarely sought out teachers. Externally, Maria was calm and unmoved but her heart hammered in her chest and the wind roared in her ears. She could not see the reactions of those around her but she could feel the eyes piercing her, judging her, analysing her.
“You’re a-?” Selvara cleared her throat as she recovered. “But-But that’s not right, sorcerers can’t be taught, their magic is different from the rest of ours.”
“Is it?” Maria asked. “Because my studies under Master Kan have taught that all magic is from a common source, which means that sorcerer, wizard, druid, or cleric, our magic shares the same mystical origins. Besides, I have been taught here, have I not? And you all have seen how my magic has grown and been shaped by the teachings here. Anyone can learn. You just need teachers willing to teach, and a heart willing to be taught.”
“Well that explains why you can pick up spells so easily, but at least I can still beat you in levitation,” one of Maria’s other friends grinned, drawing a hesitant wave of chuckles and a giggle from Maria.
“Natural talent is probably the wrong phrase to use but yes, I just can’t seem to get the levitation spells right. But that’s to be expected. We all have different talents and abilities, even in magic. Does that make any one of us wrong or right? Or make one of us somehow less of a being than another?”
Her point had been clearly made, and many of the students went away considering the possibilities of magical learning. Selvara spoke little, avoiding Maria in their evening classes but the two shared a room and Selvara could not avoid her forever as Maria was able to catch her for a few moments before they slept.
“Selvara, I understand if you do choose to support the Daybreaks,” Maria told her in her calm way. “You are always so understanding of difficult concepts and your ability to find the connections between pieces of information is something I’m a little envious of. I only ask that you carefully think this war through.”
“Because you agree with the Nightfalls?” Selvara’s voice betrayed nothing of her emotions (which set off alarm bells in Maria’s mind that she silenced. Selvara had only ever been good to her).
“I agree with neither side,” Maria admitted. “A life under the Daybreaks is one where I die for something I have no control over. But the Nightfalls destroy everything in their path, and that’s not how magic is supposed to be used.” Phantom smells of woodsmoke and blood clouded Maria’s mind and she took a deep breath. “I just… Think about it, please? You have such a wonderful potential, and I’d hate for it to be twisted by propaganda that only serves to turn family against family.”
Selvara gave a soft sigh that Maria was familiar with, and she knew there was a small smile on the elf’s face as a hand rested on her shoulder. “You’re always so perceptive Maria, even without your sight. I promise I’ll think about it. And I’ll expand my research to look deeper into the Nightfalls too, and the origins of sorcerers and wizards alike.”
Maria put her hand over Selvara’s and smiled at her friend. “Thank you, Selvie.”
A few months went by and the conversation all but faded from Maria’s mind. She did her studies alongside everyone else, studying hard and learning much, but even blindness couldn’t stop her from seeing the changes around her. The small group of friends she and Selvara had grew smaller still, some leaving Lo’Nactha and others finding different students to spend time with. Conversations stopped happening around Maria, some cutting off abruptly as she approached. Master Kan even suggested he give her private lessons, and his reasoning of “A private tutoring will be more beneficial for your learning capabilities” wasn’t enough for Maria to simply forget the sounds of people leaving when she entered his classes, nor that she had been learning perfectly well in his classes for over half a year.
She had hoped it wouldn’t happen, but it was inevitable she supposed: The war and its history had given them a wariness of sorcerers. History stated that sorcerers were destructive after all. Maria had hoped that with time, they would lose that fear and life would return to what it had been. But it was not to be as she was summoned to High Master Nihjo’s study one early morning.
“High Master Nihjo,” she greeted once she felt the hard stone turn to soft bamboo flooring. “You wished to see me?”
“Maria, come sit,” the Master greeted, setting down a teacup with a clink that gave Maria the distance she required to walk forward and sit down cross-legged, resting her staff beside her. “One sugar with the tea, correct?”
“Yes please,” the sorceress answered. Then boldly but politely, she asked “Master Nihjo, I would prefer if you did not labour on the pleasantries, please.”
The short man must have seen the anxiety in Maria’s eyes because he sighed slightly and moved her hands to press them against the warm cup. “I understand. I know that you are a sorceress, and I will admit that I am not surprised, nor am I condemning. But as I am sure you have noticed, Lo’Nactha has changed since you revealed yourself. Our students are leaving, and the air is nervous and frigid like the winter mornings.”
“Because people are scared of me.” Maria’s voice was flat, full of the tired resignation she felt in her core. “Even though I have done nothing against them, they fear me because of something I have no control over.”
“Life is never fair, Maria. That is why it is beautiful,” Master Nihjo replied. “Under normal circumstances, I would simply let the fear fade into acceptance. We have had many students here, and some from strange or foreign backgrounds, and the fear has always faded. But this is… not a normal circumstance.”
Maria’s blind eyes rose and from pure luck, they fixed with uncanny accuracy on Master Nihjo’s gaze. He, however, was not afraid of her. “A friend of yours brought her concerns to me and the points she raised were things I could not simply put aside. History speaks for itself, after all, and your kind has unfortunately sullied your reputation.”
“You’re asking me to leave,” Maria murmured.
“I am afraid I have no choice,” Master Nihjo replied. “But that does not mean I shall be casting you out empty handed. I have put together a list of teachers I know will take you in and others who I am less confident in, but they may surprise me. I have already sent word for a courier to escort you to one of my kin who will give you a place to stay for as long as you need, and he will be able to contact the other teachers on your behalf.”
His words did not fall on deaf ears, but they fell on a mournful heart that only broke more at the sigh given by the Master. “I know this is sudden, Maria. My duty is to my school and its students, but while you are still one of them, I will guide you where I can. You have learned much here, but there is more to learn elsewhere in the world, and it is your time to leave and grow in a way you will not grow here.”
Maria smiled softly with sad eyes. “I understand. Thank you, High Master Nihjo. I will collect my belongings at once.” She rose and picked up her staff and exited, leaving behind her untouched tea.
Maria had been expecting to be moved on but that did not mean that she was ready for it. She packed her few belongings with lethargic actions. She never possessed enough for it to overfill a backpack, so all too quickly she had located the last of her things and organising them to pack when she heard the door open.
“You’re leaving?” Selvara’s voice asked from the doorway, gentle and sad.
Maria sighed. “Master Nihjo asked me to. He said it would be best. I’m sorry Selvie.”
The blind woman heard the elf’s footsteps approach and hands pick up her few small books, helping her slide them securely into her bag. “I’m sorry too, Mary. But this is for the best.”
Maria froze. “A friend of yours brought her concerns to me.” “But that doesn’t change that wild magic users such as druids and sorcerers frequently abuse magic to their own ends and destroy nature! They cannot learn how to control their magic!”
Maria spun around. “It was you!” she exclaimed with a rare edge of the anger that filled her being. “You told Master Nihjo to make me leave!”
“Maria I-“
“Was it Selvara? Was this all you?!”
Maria didn’t want to believe it, she was already praying she was wrong, but…
“Sorcerers cannot learn, Maria. It’s not safe for you to be here.”
Maria snatched up her bag and her staff and stormed out without another word, only Selvara followed her and insisted on filling the gaps left by the blind woman.
“Maria please! I’m looking out for you! You don’t realise how dangerous you are, you could hurt people!” Selvara tried to explain with a pleading voice. “Sorcerers are some of the only magic-users who use no spellcasting focus and no way to channel their magic! Your magic is unstable, it’s unnatural! I’m not saying that it’s evil, but you know how dangerous it is, Maria! You know the stories!”
“Stories that have been spread and exaggerated by the fearful, and are used as a means for political gain,” Maria snapped back. “My spellcasting focus is that which is not physical and somehow that is an issue?”
“That’s not what I’m saying-“
“Yes it is!” Maria spun around, heedless that they were now in the courtyard of Lo’Nactha as she verbally sparred once more with her friend. “How is it unnatural if I was born with it? How is it unnatural if nature gifted it to me? I am educating myself, I am teaching myself how to use it safely, why is that wrong?!”
“Because your magic doesn’t work like ours, Maria!” Selvara protested. “You told me to do my research and I did, and the research says that sorcerers are different and far too powerful and their magic is far too different. You cannot be taught! Your magic cannot be controlled!”
Maria spun around and continued storming off but Selvara would not be deterred no matter how much she was ignored. “You’re more powerful than you realise Maria, and no mortal is meant to be trusted with that power! You will kill yourself and take everyone else down with you! Why won’t you listen to me, I’m trying to help you!”
“Because you understand all of the evidence before you except one,” Maria replied cooly, stopping once again so that she could stare in the direction of Selvara’s voice. The elf had always been taller than Maria, but now that distance felt far greater. “You ignore the fact that I have been here for months and never once have I lashed out, and never once has my magic done what I have not commanded it to do, and never once have I shown myself to be dangerous. I am not like the other sorcerers, Selvara. Perhaps it is because of my blindness, or perhaps because I have been taught since I was young!”
“That proves nothing!” Selvara snapped. She could see the crowd of students that were surrounding them and the grand entrance to Lo’Nactha several feet behind Maria, but her focus was only on the stubborn half-elf before her. “Just because your magic hasn’t lashed out yet doesn’t mean that it never will! If you truly don’t want to hurt anyone, then give up your magic! Join us fully, Maria! Learn magic as we do; the right way, the safe way! Please!”
Selvara didn’t want to lose her friend, but the hurt hiding underneath Maria’s stern expression and the weariness of her tone said that she’d already lost her. “If I asked you to rip out your own eyes before I could accept you, you would call me a fool and intolerant. And yet you ask me to do the same with my magic? I cannot give it up anymore than you can stop the sun from rising or the moon from gazing upon us. You ask the impossible of me.”
“It’s not impossible, Maria. There are ways, as there are always ways.”
Maria’s chin rose slightly. “I will not give up my magic. If you cannot accept me as I am, then I will not waste the effort to make you accept me at all.”
“Then you’re the fool, Maria,” Selvara hissed. “I’ve read the history, I know your kind. You’ll destroy everyone! Maria, your own magic will tear you and the whole world apart!”
“Then so be it!” Maria snapped, pushed beyond the breaking point. “If the world cannot accept a majority because of the actions of a minority, then perhaps the world deserves to be wiped out and started afresh! Do not hide behind claims of history Selvara, I know your allegiance, I know you follow the Daybreaks. They will destroy magic, because if magic cannot exist chaotically in nature, then it cannot exist peacefully in creatures. There must be a balance.”
“The balance has been upset by your kind for eons, and it must be set to right. You are not welcome here, Maria. No one of your kind is.”
“We were friends, Selvara-“
“If I’d known what you were from the start, I never would have spoken to you.”
Those firm and detached words cut to a part of Maria she didn’t know she had, knocking the wind out of her. “Is that the truth?” she asked softly.
“It is,” Selvara replied firmly.
All the students of Lo’Nactha had gathered around them who saw Maria’s shoulders straighten and the hand on her staff tighten as a cold hand closed over her heart. The Masters who had also gathered were waiting a little back, being waved back by High Master Nihjo who knew that any of them stepping in now would only escalate things worse. Later, he wondered if he made the wrong call as Maria spoke in a voice seeped in bitter regret.
“I understand. Then I will leave, but know this, Selvara: Through your actions you have betrayed a friend, someone who trusted you with the secrets of her heart, who trusted you in a world that is dark and unknown. I don’t want you to become the sort of person who casts aside those who trust you like I did. So I will give you a lesson.” She slowly raised her free hand, her open palm and slightly curled fingers facing Selvara. “A lesson so you remember the consequences of betraying someone like you’ve just betrayed me. And a lesson that perhaps sorcerers are only dangerous because everyone turns upon them like you have.”
Lightning arced out of Maria’s hand, connecting the two in a bright blaze of light accompanied by the crackling of energy and Selvara’s scream. The students surged away in a panic as the elf convulsed and collapsed as soon as the magic stopped, twitching a little on the ground. The Masters rushed forward, Masters Kan and Penny rushing to Selvara and immediately beginning to tend to her while High Master Nihjo stood between the two ex-friends, already turning to Maria with his mouth open to tell her to leave-
Only to find that the sorceress was already walking down the path and out of sight.
Maria did not look back at Lo’Nactha after that. She did not take up High Master Nihjo’s suggestions for teachers, and she did not stay where he had recommended, and from that day on she wore her sorcerous origins with pride and didn’t try to hide who she was. As far as Lo’Nactha were concerned, she had vanished entirely.
A week later, a knock came on High Master Nihjo’s study door and he called the knocker in, expecting the elf who entered. “Selvara, take a seat, please,” he offered, already pouring her tea. The elf politely did as asked, carefully picking up her dainty cup and taking a gentle sip. Master Nihjo’s eyes ran over the bandages that were wrapped around her face, leaving only her mouth and one eye bared. “How are you healing?”
“I’m healing well, regardless of what the bandages may suggest,” Selvara said with the faintest trace of a laugh. “The wounds weep frequently, which is why Master Penny still has them wrapped. In another week or so, they should be healed enough to leave bare.”
“And what about the wounds that go beyond the physical?” the Master asked.
Selvara thought about it for a moment, setting down her cup. “It hurts, but I have been given lots of time to think about it, and the more I think, the more I cannot see fault with my actions. I did what I thought was best to protect Lo’Nactha and its students, and to protect Maria. It is her own choice that she did not take it. I cannot control the consequences of her actions.”
“It is very wise of you to see that,” the Master said. “But you should not have had to bear those consequences. Her actions are mere support of what you warned me of, and I am glad at least that we removed the danger before it could have damaged more of our students.” He gave a sigh. “It is a shame still. Maria had such potential here at Lo’Nactha, but it cannot be helped. What of the future, Selvara? Do you intend to continue your studies here at Lo’Nactha or to learn elsewhere?”
“Here, Master Nihjo,” Selvara immediately answered. “Lo’Nactha has been good to me, and its teachings wise and sound. There is nowhere else I would rather learn.”
In time, High Master Nihjo passed on and was buried in a place of honour. He had named his successor some weeks before and so, with ceremony to match, High Master Selvara rose to lead Lo’Nactha. She was a kind and stern Master, holding herself with all the grace, poise, power, and wisdom of her elven nature. Lo’Nactha flourished under her care, swelling in students and Masters and becoming an ever-growing source of knowledge and magic. Everyone was welcomed in Lo’Nactha, but those of sorcerous or druidic magic were given a choice: either they rejected their magic and join Lo’Nactha as people of learned magic, true magic, or they were turned away.
But there was one sorceress whom Selvara would never forget. How could she, when large arcs of lightning were permanently scarred across her face and her left eye was rendered a milky white. Whenever she looked in her reflection, she saw the mark Maria had left, the lesson Maria had engraved into her skin. And Selvara remembered the price of betraying a friend, and it was an act she never committed again. And she also remembered the danger of sorcerers and their magic, hence her new condition for sorcerers and druids who sought to enter Lo’Nactha.
But Maria? Oh, Selvara was certain that Maria was still alive and learning, and if she happened to return to Lo’Nactha, Selvara would welcome her back with open arms and would give her a lesson in return for the scars on her face. A lesson in justice, if you will. Revenge if you were less open-minded. It would be a lesson that she was certain the sorceress would never forget.
If only because by the end of Selvara’s lesson, Maria would be dead.