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Simon totally shouldn’t feel nervous.
Yet, he does.
It’s the first time Wille’s coming over after… well, after everything. First time since they are officially together, even for the world now. The last time he was here feels like ages ago. It was before winter break, before the video, before their breakup… Simon doesn’t like to think of these times often, yet today, as he glances over his room to make sure it looks presentable when his guest arrives, his thoughts stray towards them.
He shakes his head, trying to chase them away. Everything is fine now, they are fine and they will have a great time together.
Then why is he nervous?
His mom is… tolerating Wille. For now. She’s not his biggest fan after the video fiasco but she recognized what he did with his speech and is now warming up to him, Simon can see that. Still, it took some pleading and begging to convince her to let Wille sleep over this weekend but in the end, Simon managed.
And when it comes to Sara, well, she’s not even here anymore and frankly, Simon wouldn’t care what she has to say anyway.
His room looks fine. As put in order as it can be, the organised mess he’s learnt to live in. Not much has changed since Wille visited last. Well, he got a door but that’s basically it. He’s actually kind of grateful for it now, so they can have some real privacy tonight.
Hearing the faint sound of the doorbell, Simon sprints out of his room. Linda is in the living room when he makes it to the hallway, halfway through getting up to probably answer the door but Simon waves at her dismissively.
“I got this,” he retorts and sees that she flashes him a smile. He probably shouldn’t be nervous about his mother at all then.
Simon exhales and flexes his shoulder in an attempt to relax before opening the door to reveal his boyfriend on the other side. Wille smiles instantly when he sees him. He has an overnight bag thrown over his shoulder and is dressed casually in a pink sweater.
“Hi,” he greets.
“Hey, come in,” Simon takes a step to the side to let him in. Once Wille crosses the threshold though, before even getting out of his jacket or shoes, he rests a gentle hand on Simon’s waist and leans in for a soft, welcoming kiss. Simon easily lets him.
“Hi,” his boyfriend says again, whispering the words between their lips and smiling.
“Hi,” Simon returns as they seem to last in this little moment they’ve created for themselves.
Here, in his own home, Simon feels safe. He has always felt protected in those walls, especially in his own room. There, nothing of the bad could reach him. It still can’t.
He lets Wille get out of his jacket and shoes and then takes his hand, leading him there.
“Hi, Linda!” His boyfriend calls out as they pass the living room.
“Hello, Wilhelm,” Simon’s mom greets him with a smile from where she’s lounging on the couch.
“We’ll be in my room,” Simon states impatiently, already tugging Wille towards his bedroom. He goes easily though, even if he lets out an amused chuckle.
It feels kind of like the last time he was letting Wille into his room. Simon feels the same sort of thrill as he now walks them through the laundry room, as well as a hint of nervousness. He’s still not sure why. Wille has seen his bedroom didn’t have anything bad to say the last time. Simon can rightfully say that both of them enjoyed their time there.
Simon bites his lip as he closes the door to his room after they enter. He kind of hangs in the back as he lets Wille take in the space after all the time that has passed since he was here last. His boyfriend has his hands clasped behind his back as his eyes wander around the room.
“Oh, your fish,” his gaze lands on the aquarium then as he steps closer and leans down to look at the fish with a soft smile. “Hi Oski, Felle and Olle,” he waves at them through the glass and something about this image melts Simon’s heart.
“You remember their names?” He can’t help but question, now joining his boyfriend next to the aquarium.
“Of course,” Wille retorts as if it was obvious, his eyes still on the fish which are gliding languidly through the water.
Simon can’t help but feel reminded of another memory then. First, the one where he revealed the names to Wille. He’s found himself recalling this one many times, still feeling the phantom touch of Wille’s arms around him, the ghost of his kiss on his neck. He was only only recalling it in his head, he was longing for it.
Then he remembers another one. Right before the Valentine’s ball, when it was Marcus here, staring at the fishes just like Wille is now, and asking about their names. They don’t have names, Simon replied because he didn’t want to share it with Marcus. He was ready to do everything to protect that memory of him and Wille with the fish. He didn’t want it tainted by anyone else.
He didn’t realise that maybe he wasn’t the only one recalling this memory. Maybe Wille was too, maybe he was thinking of Simon’s soft, trembling voice listing out the names. Maybe that’s how he remembers.
“Are you okay?” Wille’s attention shifts from the fish to be fully on Simon now. He must have noticed him being kind of lost in his thoughts.
“Mhm,” Simon nods, not able to say anything, still feeling too emotional.
Wille eyes him curiously for a moment before he leans back from the aquarium to instead tug Simon closer to him and wrap his arms around his waist. Simon lets him. Closes his eyes and touches their foreheads together, just letting himself breathe in and bask in the rare moment of calm they can share.
“I missed your place,” Wille says quietly between them. Simon smiles.
“I missed you,” he opens his eyes and says teasingly, making his boyfriend roll his eyes.
“Obviously, I missed you too. And your fish.” He glances at the aquarium again.
“They missed you too,” Simon retorts as he follows his line of sight. Wille squeezes him closer in the hug.
“So,” he speaks, both of them still staring at the fish. Simon has always found their gliding movements calming. Now that he’s in Wille’s arms, this calming effect only gets magnified. “Have you planned anything else than observing the fish for our sleepover?”
Simon snorts and shakes his head before pulling back and looking at him. He can see his amusement mirrored in his face. He shrugs, trying to appear innocent.
“I’m sure we can figure something out,” he states and Wille’s smile tells him all he needs to know.
And even if it wasn’t enough, the way he kisses him next definitely makes Simon sure in which direction they are heading. And he doesn’t mind at all.
“Aren’t you going to put on your video games this time?” Wille asks, now slightly breathless when their lips part eventually.
“I have a door now,” Simon is panting too but the reply makes them both chuckle.
“Good,” Wille retorts and then they both stumble towards the bed in a fit of giggles.
Once they fall into it, they get lost in each other. And judging by how desperate and passionate their movements are, it’s clear that they’ve both missed this. Missed each other. Simon never wants to let him go ever again. And he feels that Wille doesn’t plan on it as well.