Work Text:
One sunny afternoon, when heading off to the park for a walk and some poetic inspiration, Homare comes across a crowd on the streets. It’s a street act right there, featuring Itaru, Tsumugi, and Kumon.
“My sword isn’t piercing the dragon’s scales…” a terrified Kumon shouts.
“Nature’s wrath isn’t enough…” Tsumugi laments.
And then Itaru’s and Homare’s gaze meet.
“Look over there! Homare Arisugawa the Bard! O mighty Bard, please grace us with your poetic prowess!” Itaru exclaims.
Homare grins and gallops into the trio with flourish. “Fear not, brave dragon hunters!” He acts as if strumming a lute. “A dangerous bay, where dragons lay, may thine sword gain the strength to slay!”
“Power is surging through me! HIYAH!” Kumon jumps and brings down his imaginary sword.
Tsumugi swings his imaginary staff. “Take this! Earthquake!”
“Time for the finishing blow!” Itaru lunges forward with his imaginary sword. “Thank you for your aid, o mighty Bard! You may have some of the dragon’s hoard!”
The crowd cheers. Homare also feels great because his poem has saved the day!
😊
Days later, the trio is at it again, this time with a larger audience. And coincidentally Homare is passing by the venue. And coincidentally the etude theme is almost the same, except Itaru is now playing an evil sorcerer.
“Hahaha, my dark magic shall consume all!”
“Urgh…” Kumon staggers ahead.
“This is bad. I'm losing my power.” And then Tsumugi spots Homare somewhere amid the crowd. “Ah, our dear Bard returns! Grant us strength with your words, wise poet!”
Again? Well, why not, but today Homare’s poetic spring is feeling a tad dry.
“Magic, magic… yes, magic…” Homare mumbles.
“Oh no- GYAAAAAAAH!” Kumon screams.
“One has bitten the dust,” Itaru smirks. “You two are next.”
“The darkness… is creeping in…” Tsumugi mutters.
“No…” Homare continues.
This time evil triumphs, but the crowd cheers nonetheless.
😓
The next time Homare happens to be returning from a work meeting. He has something to write, but his poetic spring is dry as a desert. He thinks taking a detour will inspire him, but instead he runs into the trio again.
Who just drags him into their fantasy etude again.
Who just makes him a bard again.
Despite the bad mood, Homare fakes a smile and rolls with the etude. He fails to make up a poem to buff his allies anyway, but with the trio making it into another win for the villain, the street act earns a round of applause.
😫
And for some reason, Homare runs into the trio again, who is doing yet another fantasy etude. Tired from the lengthy work meeting, Homare tries to avoid them and the crowd they’ve drawn, but then Itaru shouts at him.
“Look! That’s Homare the Bard! Please, we need your poetic blessings!”
Good grief, can't they at least not make him a bard for once? His publishing company has assigned him to write some poems (which he still hasn’t thought of), and now he has to make up a poem on the spot?
Oh! Hell! NO!
“Please, o mighty Bard! Help us!” Tsumugi begs.
Homare is a nice person at heart, and Tsumugi’s puppy dog eyes just makes him join the etude as a bard again. But the outcome is just as expected: he fails to make up a poem on the spot and the villain triumphs again.
The crowd’s applause is just as loud but Homare’s mood is hitting the bottom.
😡
Because Homare fails to write the poems for work, he decides to visit a park for an inspiration hunt. No inspiration, no poem, yeah?
If only the trio knows! There they are again, performing another fantasy etude, on the very park Homare is trying to draw inspiration from. Homare is already running off at the sight, but Kumon’s shout is loud enough.
“Look! I see a Bard! I see a Bard!”
“No party is complete without a Bard,” Itaru continues. “Please support us with your ballads.”
The notion of "poets support their comrades in RPGs" should stop. Poems aren’t always created for others. Poems can just be something to capture the interesting stuff that’s happening now. That’s why writing poems for work is stressful as hell while writing random poems is fun.
Homare has an idea.
“Find another bard. My poetry is merely to record my adventures and the ephemeral beauty I have come across, not to bolster your combat prowess.”
Everyone is shocked. It suddenly becomes quiet… But then a thunderous applause comes.
🤬
It has been five times. Five. Fucking. Times. Dunno why fate is being a cruel mistress to him, always making Homare encounter the trio in the middle of some fantasy etudes. All while he’s just walking around the town for some poetic inspiration he desperately needs to complete his work.
Today fate decides to be a dick again. The trio spots him but doesn’t seem to be making a move…
Just to be safe, Homare barges through the crowd and screams like a madman. His hands are raised overhead as if holding a big thick club.
“Look! A barbarian has joined the party!” Itaru shouts.
“That’s dangerous!” Kumon continues. “Stop, you’re hurt!”
“What now, a dumb brute within my perimeter?” Tsumugi scoffs. “Pfft my magic bolts will make short work of you.”
Homare charges at Tsumugi, who’s acting as if lobbing magic bolts at him. “GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
“A barbarian is always a barbarian, bulling through everything despite having serious injuries,” Itaru comments.
Homare brings down his imaginary weapon and strikes Tsumugi down. Laughing triumphantly, he shouts out, “HA! The pain is inspiring me! Inspiration is gushing out of me like the blood from my wounds!”
“A poetic barbarian!” Kumon cheers.
“That’s what you call a bardbarian,” Itaru adds. “A masochistic one if I may add.”
“Steel in your skull, blood on my cudgel, hear my poetic drivel YO!”
“A rapping barbarian?” Kumon asks.
“Still a bardbarian.”
But this time, Homare can feel his mood improving greatly because the words are flooding his poetic spring. The crowd too is cheering more wildly than ever.
Only a creative genius such as Homare Arisugawa can think of rapping as a barbarian and create a new form of bardbarian.