Work Text:
Dear Alfred,
Earlier today, you called me. When I picked up my phone and saw your name on the screen, it felt like something inside of me just lit up. We talked for so long that I lost track of time, and when I looked out the window, the sun had started to set. We talked about all kinds of topics, both silly and serious, until you told me your phone was about to die. Right before you hung up, you thanked me for always being there to talk with you, and how much you appreciated me being your friend. Your voice, usually so loud and energetic, was soft as you said this, and it made my heart skip a beat.
I also greatly appreciate you as a friend, but lately, I’ve started to think of you in ways friends don’t usually think of each other. Like last week, when we were in the back of the classroom, you leaned over to show me something in the comic book you were reading. Your shoulder was pressed up against mine as you pointed at the book’s pages, and I could hardly even breathe. Or a couple months ago, when we went to Gilbert’s birthday party and sat together on the couch, our hips nearly touching each other. With the low light of the room and the soft pulse of the music, it was almost romantic. Until Feliciano tripped and spilled his drink all over your lap. But before that happened, your eyes were locked on mine, and all I could think about was how badly I wanted to kiss you.
-Arthur
When Arthur finally sets the pencil down, his heart is pounding. He’d been in such a trance while writing, it feels like he’s woken up from a dream. He swallows, picks up the letter, and folds it neatly in half. He then opens up his desk drawer and places it inside, on top of all the other letters he’s written. He’s embarrassed by how tall the stack has gotten recently. But he’d rather write a million of these letters than tell Alfred how he really feels.
He doesn’t know why he started writing these letters, or why writing them is so soothing to him, but he doesn’t plan on stopping anytime soon. If it helps him get his emotions under control, then he sees no reason to stop.
Arthur slumps in his chair, glancing out the window at the indigo sky. His eyelids feel heavy as he gazes out at the stars, and he lets out a small yawn. I should probably go to bed.
Arthur stands up, his lower back a bit stiff from spending so much time in the same position. He walks over to his bed and plops himself down onto it, pulling the blankets over his body. Just a few minutes after turning off the lamp that sits on his nightstand, he finds himself fast asleep.
~~~
“The movie was so sick!” Alfred’s eyes are wide with enthusiasm, practically sparkling behind his glasses. “The guy tried to run away, but the serial killer was like ‘nuh-uh, dude’. He eventually got him cornered, and he whipped out a chainsaw, and boom ! Blood everywhere-”
“God…” Arthur wrinkles his nose, trying to erase the unpleasant image from his head as he eats his sandwich.
“People are trying to eat here!” Yao snaps from across the lunch table, interrupting Alfred’s rambling.
“Well, I was also trying to eat yesterday, when you were feeding Ivan and whispering corny shit to him.” Alfred crosses his arms over his chest.
From his spot at the table, Arthur can’t help but notice that Ivan’s hand is behind Yao’s back, toying with the end of his ponytail. Those two really can’t keep their hands off each other .
Alfred reaches into his backpack and pulls out a candy bar, peeling off the wrapper. He breaks off a chunk and offers it to Arthur. “Want some?”
“Sure.” Arthur grins and takes it. He pops it into his mouth, eyes fluttering shut as the rich flavor of chocolate spreads over his tongue.
“I hope you’re enjoying it,” Alfred says. “Because I went through hell trying to get this stupid chocolate bar.” His lower lip thrusts out in a pout.
Arthur’s heart skips a beat. God, Alfred’s adorable when he makes that face .
“I gave the vending machine my money, chose what I wanted, but the thing got stuck on its way out!” Alfred exclaims. “But I wasn’t just gonna give up. I kept kicking and shaking that stupid machine until it finally fell out.”
“So that was the loud noise I was hearing during second period,” Ivan murmurs. “It all makes sense now.”
Alfred shrugs. “I take my snacks very seriously.”
Arthur gestures to the corner of Alfred’s mouth. “You have some chocolate right there…”
“Here?” Alfred brings a hand to his cheek.
“A little further down.”
“Here?”
“No, it’s more… let me just…” Arthur picks up a napkin and uses it to dab at the smear of chocolate. His eyes flick down to Alfred’s lips. His soft, full lips…
Arthur freezes and puts the napkin down before his mind can start to wander. “There. Got it.”
Alfred laughs a bit and smiles. It’s a soft, smaller smile, different from his usual broad, goofy one. “Thanks, dude.”
Maybe he’s seeing things. Maybe it’s just the cafeteria’s harsh lighting. But Alfred’s tan cheeks seem to have gone just the slightest bit red. Before Arthur can open his mouth to respond, the bell rings.
Alfred huffs. “Ugh. Time for English. Today we have to overanalyze some weird poem that was written, like, three hundred years ago. Someone tell English teachers that some lines are just there. Not everything has some deep meaning.” He stands up and starts to walk towards the lunchroom door.
“Well, good luck with that. If you’re really confused, just text me. Maybe I can help.”
“You’re the best. See ya!” Alfred waves goodbye as he walks down the hallway to his next class.
Arthur waves back, then begins walking in the opposite direction. What I’d give for us to have more classes together.
He eventually reaches his next class- math- and sits at his desk at the back of the room. Arthur reaches into his backpack, takes out his calculator and the folder he stores his math worksheets in, and leans back in his chair.
Eventually, the teacher stands up and claps his hands together. “I need everybody to settle down. Francis, stop talking. Gilbert, stop throwing things. We actually have work to get done today. Now, everyone take out the packet I gave you on Monday. We’re going to go over the questions on page five…”
Arthur sighs and wrinkles his nose as he takes out the packet. It’s classes like these when he really needs Alfred. Someone to lighten things up a bit.
Bored, Arthur glances out the window. It’s a chilly, but clear day, the sky an intense blue. He watches a robin land on the windowsill, flying away after a few moments. Arthur’s gaze leaves the window and travels back to the worksheet in front of him. With a small huff, he takes out his calculator and begins working on the first problem.
Three math problems in, Arthur’s mind drifts back to what happened in the cafeteria. His fingers practically touching Alfred’s lips, Alfred’s bell-like laughter, and what looked like a pink tinge on Alfred’s cheeks…
It feels like Arthur’s heart is swelling within his chest, ready to burst. Slowly, Arthur sets his calculator down. He then reaches into his folder and pulls out a blank sheet of paper. Math be damned. I have something more important to write about .
It’s a good day to sit at the back of the class , Arthur thinks to himself. I’ll have all the privacy I need. He glances quickly at the front of the room, just to make sure the teacher isn’t watching him, then begins to write.
Dear Alfred,
Today in the lunchroom, after I helped you get the chocolate off your face, you smiled at me. It seemed different from your usual smile. Softer. Shyer, even. But maybe I’m just overthinking things. Alfred F Jones, you mess with my heart and my brain in more ways than I can count.
You’re an amazing friend. You always make me laugh, you know me down to the smallest, most unimportant details, and I can tell you anything.
Well, anything except how I really feel for you.
It’s scary, honestly, how much you make me feel. I used to think all those romance novels were exaggerating, with their descriptions of pounding hearts, fluttery stomachs, and sweaty palms. Turns out they weren’t.
A small part of me wants to tell you how I feel, but the larger, more logical part tells me to keep my mouth shut so I don’t risk ruining our friendship. Because truly, you are an amazing friend.
All I can do now is write these stupid letters and hope that eventually, these feelings will fade, and everything will go back to normal.
-Arthur
When Arthur finishes writing the letter, he sucks in a breath that feels like the first proper one he’s taken in hours. Careful not to catch the teacher’s attention, he folds the letter in half and slips it into his math folder. He’ll put it in the drawer, on top of all the other letters, when he gets home. He picks up his calculator and resumes his work on the math problems.
About fifteen minutes later, the teacher looks around the room. “I think you’ve been given enough time to work on these problems. Let’s go over them now. Kiku, why don’t you tell us what you got for question one?”
“Forty-five point nine?”
“Yes, that’s correct. Now, who would like to answer question two…”
The remainder of the class flies by, with Arthur happy to discover that he answered all but two questions right. He slips his calculator and folder back into his backpack, zips it up, and begins making his way to his next class, English.
Arthur’s English class is a long walk from his math class, and by the time he gets there, almost everyone is seated at their desk. Arthur takes a seat, crossing his arms over his chest as he waits for the teacher to begin her lesson.
The teacher ends up spending most of the class giving a long lecture on a short story the class had read earlier in the week. During this, Arthur entertains himself by reading the random messages students from other classes have scrawled on his desk.
‘ Antonio luvs Lovino!’
‘I hate this place’
‘Gilbert was (awesomely) here’
The bell eventually rings, and Arthur rises from his seat with a sigh. Just one more period. One more, then I can go home .
On his way to his next class, Arthur stops by the water fountain, leaning forward to take a few much-needed gulps of water. As he drinks, he feels a tap on his shoulder. He whips around to see Alfred, fiddling with one of the strings on his hoodie.
Arthur wipes his mouth and grins. “Hi, Alfred.” He notices the frown on his best friend’s face. “Are you alright?”
Alfred scratches the back of his neck. “I’m in a little bit of trouble right now.”
“What sort of crime have you committed?” Arthur teases.
“It wasn’t a crime, I swear! Basically, earlier this week, I had this assignment in math. I kinda half-assed it, assuming the teacher wouldn’t look too closely at it. Well, she did. And now she’s pissed. She wants me to redo it, but lately, I’ve gotten kind of lazy with my notes. So I don’t really have any idea of what I’m doing.”
Arthur chews at his lower lip. “Hmm… maybe you could borrow my math folder for the night and get yourself caught up. I feel like I’ve been pretty consistent with my note-taking.”
Alfred’s eyes light up. “You’d let me do that?”
“I don’t have any homework tonight, so it won’t be a problem. We have different math teachers, but the courses are pretty much the same.” He unzips his backpack, takes out the folder, and hands it to Alfred. “Here. Just make sure to give it back when you’re done with it.”
Alfred tucks the folder under his arm and grins. “Thanks so much, man. You’re the best.”
“You’re welcome. Good luck on the assignment.” Arthur waves goodbye to him.
He walks to his final class of the day with his cheeks warm and flushed, and his lower lip between his teeth.
~~~
Later that afternoon, Arthur sits on the couch, reading a book. His little brother, Peter, sits next to him, watching some silly cartoon on TV. Arthur looks up from the pages of his book and glances at the clock. It’s nearly six-thirty.
I wonder how Alfred’s doing with his math assignment. Hopefully the stuff in my folder has been helpful to him.
Arthur takes out his phone, ready to shoot Alfred a text, when he finally remembers.
The letter.
The fucking love letter that was never meant to see the light of day was in that folder.
Not wanting his younger brother to see him panic, Arthur rushes up the stairs and into his room. Once the door is shut behind him, he threads his fingers through his hair and starts to pace the floor.
Fuck, fuck, fuck! How stupid can I fucking be?!
Arthur plops himself onto his bed, feeling tears start to sting his eyes. A queasy feeling bubbles up in his stomach as he wedges his thumbnail between his teeth. Maybe there’s a chance, just the tiniest chance Alfred didn’t read the letter? Maybe he didn’t even bother to unfold it, assuming it was just a random piece of scratch paper?
Arthur pulls out his phone and opens up his messages with Alfred. His thumbs hover over the keyboard as he ponders what to text him. Don’t act like you have anything to hide. Just act normal.
Eventually, he manages to type out a message with his shaky hands.
Arthur: How’s the assignment going?
Around five torturous minutes later, Alfred responds.
Alfred: Really good! I actually managed to finish it. I’m on my way to your house to give you your folder back :D
Arthur lets out a shaky breath. Alfred’s texting just as he usually does. Maybe he didn’t read the letter. And he’ll walk to Arthur’s house and give him his folder back and Arthur can tear the letter to little bits.
Arthur lies down on his back and lets out a little laugh. Maybe everything will be okay. Maybe his and Alfred’s friendship won’t be totally ruined.
Arthur stands up and walks over to the mirror. He smooths down his hair and gazes into his wide green eyes. He rests a hand on his chest, feeling the beat of his still-pounding heart against his palm. Calm yourself down. Alfred will be here any minute now.
When Arthur hears the doorbell ring downstairs, he swallows heavily. He feels a bit unsteady on his feet as he makes his way down the stairs, his hand never leaving the railing. He eventually reaches the door and opens it, his stomach flipping when he sees Alfred standing on his front porch.
The light of the setting sun makes Alfred’s hair look like a golden halo, his round blue eyes seeming to stare into Arthur’s soul.
“Ah… Come in.” Arthur puts on the most normal-looking smile he can muster, praying Alfred won’t notice the slight tremble in his voice.
“Thanks for letting me borrow your folder. Your notes were really helpful.” Alfred presses the folder into Arthur’s hands.
Arthur can feel his heart pounding in his ears. “Yeah, no problem. Glad I could help.” He clutches the folder tightly.
“Arthur, I’m just gonna say it. I saw the letter. I read it.”
“Oh my God.” Arthur buries his face in his hands. “Oh my God. Alfred, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
“No. No, Arthur. Don’t apologize. Don’t get embarrassed. Why don’t we go to your room and talk, okay?”
Arthur nods. It feels like his throat is closing. “A-Alright…” He starts walking up the stairs, Alfred trailing behind him. Once he reaches his room, he sits down on the bed, Alfred plopping down next to him a few moments after.
Arthur stares down at the floor, his stomach in knots. Is this it? Is this where the friendship they’ve had since elementary school ends?
“Alfred.” Arthur manages to choke out. “I’m really, really sorry-”
“No.” Alfred says firmly. “You’re not apologizing for this. I…” He reaches into the pocket of his hoodie and pulls out a sheet of paper, folded in half. “After reading your letter, I decided to write you one of my own.” He places it in Arthur’s lap.
Arthur stares down at the paper in his lap before picking it up with shaky fingers. After unfolding it with care, he begins to read.
Dear Arthur,
When I found your letter, I initially felt guilty. It seemed pretty clear that you hadn’t planned on me seeing this. But Arthur, if you’re scared or embarrassed or anything right now, don’t be. Because I think your letter winding up in my hands was fate.
Arthur, around six months ago, I started to feel different around you. Not a bad kind of different. It was a good feeling, all warm and fuzzy and stuff. But it was also a feeling I didn’t feel around any of my other friends.
It took me a long time, but I eventually came to terms with the fact that I had fallen for you. I didn’t know what the hell I was supposed to do. If I told you, I’d risk ruining our friendship. But if I kept my mouth shut, all these emotions would eat me alive.
So when I found your letter in the folder, I almost couldn’t believe it. I read it at least five times to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. Once my shock wore off, I was overjoyed. The guy I’ve had feelings for for months and months feels the same way.
Arthur, you’re genuinely the best friend I’ve ever had. If you’re ready for our friendship to become something more than that, I’m ready too.
-Alfred
Arthur’s hands are shaking as he reads the last few sentences of the letter. He feels dizzy, the room around him spinning. He turns to Alfred, wide-eyed. There’s a million things he wants to say to Alfred, but he’s forgotten how to speak, so he leans in and kisses him instead.
Arthur can feel Alfred’s body go stiff with shock, then relax. Alfred’s lips start to move against his, and Arthur lets out a gasp of delight. He tastes sweeter than honey, and it has electricity shooting up Arthur’s spine.
Alfred loops his arms around Arthur’s waist, pulling him closer to him, kissing him deeper, hungrier…
When the kiss finally breaks, Arthur sucks in a huge breath, as if he’s emerging from underwater. Alfred’s arms are still around his waist, hands splayed over the small of his back. Once he’s come to his senses, Arthur starts to laugh. “My God. Alfred… you have no idea how happy I am right now.”
“You have no idea how happy I am right now.” Alfred’s lips curl into a grin that crinkles the corners of his sky-blue eyes.
Arthur pulls Alfred close, a happy tear leaking from his eye as he presses his face into Alfred’s shoulder.
Who would have known that a silly mistake could lead to something so beautiful?