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"No, I understand, Olaf," Kaeloo said as she paced around in front of the couch. "Thank you for your time."
The frog tapped the end call button on her phone and sighed. What was she going to do now?
"Oh hey, Kaeloo!" Stumpy greeted from his seat on the sofa. "Whatcha doin'?"
"I'm trying to find someone to replace Pretty on my new web series, 'Cooking with Kaeloo'! Mr. Director From The Board Of Directors - glory to him - said that we should try doing a live web show, and I wanted to have Pretty there since she knows a lot about online content creation, but you know what happened with her…"
Both Kaeloo and Stumpy scowled deeply at the memory. While they already disliked Pretty before it happened, they thought she was just merely annoying, and they thought she was genuinely trying to turn over a new leaf. That is, until Poucave had written an article detailing Pretty's horrific actions towards Mr. Cat and posted it on the internet. Justice had been swift. Kaeloo had used her authority as the guardian of Smileyland to kick Pretty out, furious to learn that her best friend and sort-of-boyfriend was subjected to such an ordeal. Pretty was canceled across social media and lost her clout as an influencer. And lastly, she'd been put on trial and sent to a juvenile prison, far away from any potential victims.
"So, any luck findin' a replacement?" Stumpy asked.
"Unfortunately, no. Quack-Quack is visiting Eugly at her art school, Olaf is busy with the opening of his new art gallery, Game Rule is giving people tours of the Museum of Games, and Mr. Cat… doesn't want to be livestreaming on the internet right now," Kaeloo sighed.
"Hey, I know!" Stumpy said, a lightbulb going off over his head. "Why don't I help you?"
"... You, Stumpy?" Kaeloo said, her eye twitching as a huge forced smile appeared on her face.
"Hell yeah!"
"Language!"
"Okay, okay! I stream stuff for my video game channel all the time, this should be a piece of cake!"
It was all Kaeloo could do to stop from crying. This truly was the only person who could help her.
Kaeloo reluctantly led Stumpy to the set, a small kitchen. He walked her through setting up the camera and how to livestream the video to viewers. And… it was time.
"Hey there kids!" Kaeloo greeted the camera. "I'm Kaeloo the frog, and this is my assistant, Stumpy the squirrel! Today, Stumpy and I are going to be teaching you how to cook soy sauce chicken bites!"
Kaeloo gestured towards a bottle of soy sauce on the counter.
"The first step is to take a bottle of soy sauce and shake before putting it on the chicken. Stumpy?"
Stumpy grabbed the bottle and then turned around so his back was facing the camera.
"Booty booty booty dance! Booty booty booty dance!" he said, shaking his rear at the audience.
"I meant to shake the bottle!" Kaeloo scolded, grabbing the bottle from him.
"What a wet blanket," Stumpy grumbled. Kaeloo glared at him, shutting him up.
"I'll add the soy sauce. Stumpy, can you beat the eggs?"
"Sure!" the squirrel said, giving a thumbs up. Then he paused. "... Beat 'em at what?"
Kaeloo resisted the urge to facepalm.
"Not that kind of beat!"
"Oh, I get it now!"
Kaeloo cracked two eggs into a bowl. She passed the bowl and an eggbeater to Stumpy. Stumpy lifted the eggbeater and started striking the eggs in the bowl with it.
"DIE EGGS DIE!" he screamed in rage, repeatedly smacking the eggs with the eggbeater. Liquid egg flew everywhere.
"Hey, Kaeloo! Ya have egg on your face! Get it?" Stumpy said, letting out an idiot laugh.
"I think I'll handle the eggs, Stumpy," Kaeloo said, that forced smile appearing on her face again as she wiped the egg off herself with a napkin. "Can you just add the chicken to the pan?"
"I dunno, Kaeloo, ya know I suck at math!"
"JUST PUT THE CHICKEN IN THE PAN YOU IDIOT!" Kaeloo snapped, before remembering that there were young children watching her. Even though Kaeloo was a child herself, she prided herself on being a good example for younger viewers. "Just let it go," she muttered to herself.
"Let it go? Okay!" Stumpy said, dropping the pan in his hand. The pan landed directly on Kaeloo's foot.
Maybe it was having to deal with Stumpy. Maybe it was the fact that nothing was going according to plan. Maybe it was the fact that she was in pain. But whatever the cause was, the fact remained that Kaeloo unloaded a string of expletives at Stumpy, right there and then. She was interrupted by the sound of her phone ringing. She glanced at the screen and discovered with dread that it was exactly who she thought it was.
"Hello, Mr. Director From The Board of Directors…" she greeted sheepishly, her heart sinking down to her toes. "I'll be right there, sir."
Kaeloo picked up the pan, placed it on the stove, and turned it on.
"Stumpy, please watch the chicken," she said, suddenly seeming a lot more tired. "Mr. Director From The Board Of Directors wants to see me in his office."
Kaeloo dejectedly walked out of the kitchen, dragging her feet as she walked towards the director's office. As expected, he had a few choice words for her about how she should be ashamed of herself and she wasn't setting a good example for young viewers. By the time it was all over Kaeloo felt drained. At least she could eat those yummy soy sauce chicken bites in the kitchen… or so she thought.
As Kaeloo approached the kitchen, she smelled something burning. She groaned inwardly, knowing that Stumpy had somehow screwed up again. She grabbed a fire extinguisher and rushed to the kitchen, only to find Stumpy intently staring at the pan, which was on fire. She sprayed the fire extinguisher, putting out the fire, and then grabbed Stumpy by the shoulders.
"Jeez, Stumpy! What were you doing?!" she cried.
"Well, ya told me to watch the chicken. I was watchin' the chicken," he shrugged.
Kaeloo pressed the button to end the livestream. A flash of light, and then Bad Kaeloo appeared in front of Stumpy, smacking a fist against an open palm.