Chapter Text
Things had been so simple. The plan was easy, exploit the rift between Terrance and Derek, through any means possible, and become the star of the show. That’s how Jude had explained it, sold it to him, all he had to do was say yes. He hadn’t admitted it to himself then, but the idea of being close to Jude had been a selling point as well.
Things in Ohio had been average, he had won a ring sure but he wasn’t feeling the spotlight, he didn’t feel big enough yet. He wanted to be known universally, so all those people who had said he would be nothing would look around them one day and see him everywhere. It was like Jude had known what he wanted from the start and zoomed in on it with in the first few moments of meeting. It had shaken Zero, very few people managed to see anything beyond what he wanted them to see. It had impressed him too.
He dragged it out, had to drive a good deal, but Jude had him from the moment he’s presented the opportunity of stardom, and he knew it. The thing was, he actually liked Jude. He was wound up tight and actually brooded which was something Zero didn’t think guys could do. But Jude made it look interesting. Plus it was fun; to poke him, make fun until he smiled. Zero liked that the guy wasn’t as soft as he looked, that he could play the game that went on off the courts. So when it came time to make the choice, he wasn’t even surprised that there wasn’t one, he was going to the devils. He was going to be a Devil.
The whole christian boy act had been something he’d cooked up in Ohio, it made sponsors easy because swearing upon god apparently made you infallible. It had been something an old foster mother had droned on about, that god was absolute and that only he could judge us in the end. Not that it stopped her from judging him when he sneaked out and judged that he needed a good beating. But the lesson still stuck; bring up god in an argument, give a little quote and people soon backed down. Sponsors like the wholesome image and he made a good buck out of it, so everyone’s happy.
When Jelena had pointed out his misquote it made him actually interested in pulling her away from Terrance because he knew it wasn’t going to be easy and Zero always enjoyed working for something. Plus it had made him smile to think his good old foster parents hadn’t even been quoting their precious bible correctly. In a way she reminded him of Jude with her schemes, brooding and plotting, though she was obviously using him for her own gain. The fact that they both knew that the other had an angle made things complicated and simple simultaneously. The only problem was, he underestimated her resolve, and he stupidly thought that somewhere they had a nonverbal agreement to limit the damage to superficial wounds. She had taken him at his jugular instead.
When the agency had called about assigning him an agent, he immediately wondered why he needed another guy, when he already had the perfect one. The person who had already opened the doors and laid the world at his feet. He hadn’t even thought twice about getting Jude a promotion and giving him a car. It had been worth it for the stunned look and moment of pure joy on his face. For some reason, being with Jude just made him feel lighter. Until the moment he’d realised his perfect image had been destroyed and he was in the middle of a PR nightmare.
Jude, though, through all of his ranting had just sat there patiently and told him not to worry about it. That he would handle it, that he was still team Zero, no matter what: and Zero believed him. Which was dangerous, because Zero knew better than anyone, that people only cared about you for as long as the money lasted. He knew it when he was 5 and he would know it when he was 50. But here was Jude, knowing his star has just become a leaded rock, saying he wasn’t going anywhere, shipping him off to safety, to wait out the storm. He couldn’t help but touch the miracle creature before him. And when Jude had leaned forward and kissed him... for a moment he thought about letting it happen. But then all the reasons for why that could never happen came rushing back and he had to reject something perfect.
But he wouldn’t crush the guy, or call him names. He couldn’t be that much of a hypocrite, besides Jude handled it with such denial that Zero almost questioned if he had imagined the whole thing. But no, Jude had kissed him, on the mouth, which definitely made him gay or bisexual at least. Sitting on the plane he didn’t even notice the flight attendant flirting with him, because he was still thinking about the touch of his lips on Jude and the fact that, while it might have been brief, it had been good. It had also been a revelation because he’d been worried that Jude might be a robot. But the kiss proved two things, Jude did have normal human urges and Zero was irresistible. One of those he had already known, but it was nice to be reassured from time to time.
A spell away was just what he had needed. It made him realise that leaving the christian boy thing behind was a relief, he had been running out of quotes and been in danger of laughing the next time he raised his ‘hand of god’. It would be a struggle but perfecting a new, easier image to the public could actually be better for his mental health in the long run. The only problem with being away was how much he thought about Jude, the girls that threw themselves at him did nothing and even the few guys he’d sneaked in weren’t satisfying. Texting him was fun, especially since he put off replying for ages, probably still embarrassed about the kiss. But when he did he kept it professional until Zero annoyed him so much he phoned him just to tell Zero to shut up. Zero grinned into the phone, he didn’t want things to be awkward, he wanted it like it had always been. Mostly.
Jude insisting that he get undressed, telling the photographer to put him in the shot or else, Jude telling him that only his opinion mattered. Yeah, Zero hadn’t realised what a turn on that would be. He couldn’t help but smirk and razz him just a little bit, just enough to get a reaction. Just enough for Zero to realise he really wished Jude had agreed to oiling him up. The whole photoshoot his thoughts were full of Jude and his stupid suits that revealed nothing, he wanted to see him, he knew Jude worked out. It wasn’t fair that Jude had seen him basically naked and Zero had only ever seen him in shirts and ties. Not that they didn’t look great on him, because they did, but his ass would look better in his hands.
It had taken him all of five minutes to decide he didn’t want to go to any formal event. He had no friends, no allies and everyone basically wanted him gone. He hadn’t felt like this since a child and he tried to avoid any atmospheres he could feel actively trying to choke him. Winding up Jude was a much more pleasant way to spend the evening. Only he was demanding he go, which was again making Zero tingly, which had not been his plan at all, not really anyway. Jude revealing he had a potential date though, that was a gut punch he hadn’t seen coming. Watching Jude flirt all night with some guy while Zero tried to make nice with everyone else. That was not going to happen. So he tried on all the shirts thrown at him, which was a good way to check out if he owned anything other than suits and stalled until Jude eventually gave up. Only Jude flipped it back and saw through Zero in a way that made him want to back away and fold his arms.
Jealously was not a trait that Zero admired and wasn’t one he thought he suffered from. But he was, wasn’t he? because he’d been willing to go if Jude had grovelled enough… But the moment there was a date, Zero had decided there was no way either of them were going if he had anything to do with it. No Jude hadn’t been crazy, he hadn’t been going off of nothing, but Zero thought he was good enough at hiding himself that no one saw his cues, only apparently Jude could see all of them. Jude didn’t know the stupid photographer assistant, he didn’t know what he was like or what he really wanted. But Zero, Zero he knew better than he even realised. So why would Jude choose some guy, over Zero?
Kissing him, that was his play. Kissing him that was the best choice he’d ever made. Kissing him was just as good as he thought it would be. For a moment Zero was scared Jude was going to back away, that he was too unsure. But he proved him wrong, thank god, and forcefully claimed his lips, this time there was no way Jude could deny kissing him. And Zero loved it. Jude Kincade topless was a sight he felt privileged to see, Jude Kincade breathless and begging, Jude Kincade manhandling him and making Zero pant that was his heaven.
Jude trying to initiate a conversation about what they were doing, trying to give a name to their fun that was something Zero had wished he could have avoided for longer. Because yes he’s had guys before, yes he still liked women; otherwise why would he have paid for them? But he didn’t do relationships. He had plays where he showed off the right woman to gain points or create rifts between people or cover girls to boost his ego as well as one night stands that scratched his itch. But never a relationship. Only Jude was right yet again because he could have had something more with Jelena. She was, apparently, just his type; forceful, strong, crazy smart and smoking hot. That was the first moment he knew he might be in trouble. Because Jude, Jude was all those things but better. He wasn’t just smart he was loyal to a fault, he wasn’t just forceful he cared and he wasn’t just hot he was passionate.
He tried not to make it a habit, but at the end of a game, or practice or just the day, arriving at Jude’s and having fun was so much better than going out and pretending to have fun. He didn’t notice he had been turning up so much until Jude pointed out where the spare key was so he could just let himself in. But it didn’t deter him, he still kept going and sometimes they didn’t immediately screw each other silly. They talked about stuff, watched TV and it wasn’t even scary. Because Jude never made a thing out of it, he didn’t pressure him or even act needy. Or if he did Zero didn’t care.
Overhearing the conversation with Derek hadn’t been planned. If he was honest they probably weren’t being careful enough, only a few more moments and Derek would have seen a naked Zero in Jude’s living room which wasn’t something that would be easy to explain away. But the fact that Jude had dealt cocaine to Derek was the perfect ammunition he needed to regain the star spot. It was also the worst way in which he could hurt Jude. He didn’t want to hurt Jude. He wasn’t going to lie, for a second he thought about it, about how Jude would most likely end up in jail, Derek banned for life, Zero a star without his agent, without his only and basically best friend. Zero without Jude. He didn’t hesitate to tell the reporter about the injury. He didn’t hesitate to swear to himself to never reveal what Jude had done.
He knew Jude had other stuff going on, the guy was forever involved in some scheme or another. But he had never seen him just sat on the floor staring into space before. When he asked, very carefully and gently what was going on he half expected Jude to ignore him. But he didn’t, he told him about his father disowning him. Because he was gay. He said it slowly like he wasn’t sure what had happened or how, like he had been cut adrift and he couldn’t work out why. Zero knew what that felt like, he had never told anyone he was bisexual, he knew what reaction he’d get so he stayed quiet and lived his life. But Jude, Jude wanted his father’s approval so much and Zero couldn’t understand it. So he told him, that his parents had given him up, that he was unwanted as well. That he understood and he didn’t realise how much he was opening himself up until Jude asked about his name. Don’t make a thing about it, don’t read it to any of this Zero begged silently, don’t realise how much you already mean to me, that I already gave up something I thought I’d do anything for.
He was comfortable in Jude’s house now, enough that he was already thinking that he needed to leave a toothbrush. Only when Jude got back he was wound up so tight Zero swore he could hear the strings buckling, which was unusual, even for Jude. The loosening of the tie had made him think about loosening Jude up in other ways, only for Jude to be distracted by the surprise wedding of the century. He was nervous the entire car ride, constantly tapping or fidgeting or adjusting his tie. It was enough to make Zero itch. He tried to make him relax but could understand the aversion to the house you got disowned in. Only he wasn’t Oscar’s guest, he was Lionel’s and that was something he should try to rub in his father’s face.Flirting with the girl had been habit, he always flirted; he was that guy. But Jude’s reaction was annoying and adorable and he hoped he knew how irrational he was being. Zero hardly looked at anyone now without immediately comparing them to Jude. None of them could compete. Only he couldn’t really tell him that since that was something only people in relationships could say.
The wedding was weird so it was nice to be back in the usual high octane atmosphere of the court. To be thinking about one thing and one thing only. Winning that championship. Only it fell short when it happened. Because none of the players were really congratulating him and he couldn’t run up to the only person he wanted to and celebrate. He could only share a tight smile and nod. He could only wait till later for what he really wanted. Oscar being arrested was karma doing her best work if anyone asked Zeros opinion. Jude’s lack of shock was even better because Zero felt proud that he had listened to him. It also made him feel empty because he couldn’t put his arm around him and offer any support. Waiting in the locker room the emptiness only intensified because he had nothing. At the end of the day, that very simple plan had left him with nothing.
Jude was right as well, he couldn’t blame it on him, Jude had done everything he could for him. Zero was the one who had messed up, he was as good as his name. As good as they told him he would be. But Jude was angry, he could see it and not just about his dad. The girl? He had told Jude from the start that it wasn’t a relationship, told himself the same thing too. He couldn’t have a relationship with Jude not really. He had lied to everyone but Jude because in the end that was the only real thing he had. But Jude, he kept going calling him on the fact that he did do relationships, only not with guys. Because yeah if he’s being honest, he only ever feels like this, with guys. But he can’t not take a pop at him because Jude can’t pretend to know everything because it wasn’t so long ago that he was denying he was gay.
But he doesn’t go back at him, not in the way Zero wanted, the way it would make it easy to end things and never think about him again. He laid himself bare and told him all the things he wanted to hear and dreaded to think about. Jude as an ally in everything, in every way. He says it all so openly that Zero realizes that Jude is stronger than anyone else he knows, because he isn’t afraid of revealing himself, his real self, he isn’t afraid to stand up and decide that he’s worth more than what he’s been accepting. He isn’t afraid of opening the door and letting someone else in. So Zero doesn’t want him to leave, he’s his agent that will make him stay, right? Only he’ still walking away and making Zero feel like crap with every step. He can’t open himself wide like Jude. Maybe he isn’t that brave or maybe the hinges are just too rusty. But he can open it up a tiny crack. Gideon is the crack, that little insight Jude wanted, this is him reaching out to Jude just like he asked. Jude doesn’t leave him alone, but he doesn’t settle for the percentage either. He gives him the choice that is impossible. Because he can’t go on a date in public, but he wants Jude to take him on one. He wants Jude, that’s the only thing that wasn’t fake in the entire season. He wants Jude and he’s going to have him.