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It's Jonas' last request before he joins Borussia Mönchengladbach training.
He wants to spend the New Year's holiday together, after they spent Christmas with their respective families, away from each other. And Marco still can't refuse anything Jonas asks of him. Although he knows the separation afterwards will be painful.
They fly separately as not to arouse suspicions. Dubai is their destination, since Marco loves warm weather and he was freezing a lot during their pre-Christmas getaway in Salzburg that Jonas can't help but want to make the blond happy.
"Hey," Marco smiles when he sees Jonas and their private driver approaching their car. This time Marco is the one picking Jonas up at the airport, since he went to Dubai two days earlier while Jonas took care of his BMG contract.
Jonas smiles when Marco strokes his cheek; a habit he has become accustomed to.
"I missed you," Marco whispers as he puts his arms around the brunet, who closes in on Marco and puts his head on the crook of his neck. They stay like that for a while until their driver turns the car engine on and they reluctantly let go of each other and hop inside the car.
"Where are we going?" Jonas inquires when the car has moved.
"Are you hungry?"
"No. I've had too much food on the plane." Jonas laughs when he sees Marco's shocked face. "You should try that sometimes, eat more," he pokes Marco, who makes a face.
"Then let's head to our villa."
---
Once inside their villa, Marco takes Jonas to the couch and holds him tight, while inhaling his scent and kissing his hair. Jonas nestles his head on Marco's shoulder and kisses his neck.
Jonas takes a deep breath while still wrapped in Marco's arms. He doesn't like how he feels when he isn't with Marco and now the feeling of security and comfort is so overwhelming, it makes it harder to breathe.
It was only a few days apart, but why does it feel like forever...
How will I survive in Gladbach?
"Marco..."
"Hmm?"
"How are we going to do this?" Jonas looks up at him. Marco looks at his eyes for a long second... the beautiful blue of his eyes, as he places his hand on Jonas' cheek. There's a certain melancholy in his eyes, knowing that the subject is inevitable, sooner or later.
"Let's worry about that later, okay?" he says softly, placing his finger on Jonas' lips, before kissing him gently. Jonas puts his hand in Marco's hair while kissing him back and they only stop when Marco's phone rings.
Marco reluctantly pulls away from Jonas and sees the caller ID. "It's Manu." Some of his Die Mannschaft teammates are also in Dubai. "I need to take this and tell them I'll be with my family for New Year's Eve and won't be joining their party tomorrow."
Jonas just nods and watches Marco walk away as he talks on the phone. He wants to keep him just for himself in Dubai, without any distraction, but he can't be that selfish. Not when their relationship is a secret.
He feels lonely suddenly, as his body craves for Marco. It terrifies him how his body automatically reacts to the loss of Marco's touch. Marco completes him, and his body knows that instinctively.
If only I could proclaim to the world that he is mine...
---
They spend their night before the last day of 2015 in their villa, letting their private butler take care of their dinner, staying mostly in bed, and talking about their arrangement between Dortmund and Mönchengladbach.
"So shall we meet in Düsseldorf?" Marco asks while his right hand draws patterns on Jonas' arm carelessly, as they nestle on each other comfortably in bed.
Jonas looks up at the blond, "Are you imitating Roman and Yann?"
Marco chuckles as he protests, "But Düsseldorf is the perfect meeting point between Dortmund and Gladbach."
"I'd actually prefer us to take turns visiting each other instead," Jonas says and puts his head back on Marco's chest.
"You know I don't have a driver's license yet, right?" Marco mentions as Jonas rolls his eyes. Of course he hasn't forgotten that fact.
"Even the whole world knows," Jonas sticks out his tongue as Marco pinches the brunet's cheek. "You can always take a taxi. Or hire a private driver."
"Hmmmm... yeah that's a good idea," Marco starts to mumble as his body resigns to the tiredness and he feels his eyes getting heavier.
The bed is so comfortable and they fall asleep just like that, after their talk has become ramblings, with Jonas nestling his head on Marco's chest, and Marco stroking his hair absently.
---
The last day of 2015 finally comes, and as much as Jonas dreads it, he's very excited with their masquerade ball party in the evening. They could be anonymous and no one will suspect them since everyone will be wearing a mask.
They arrive after dinner and after a few rounds of drinks, they join the dance. They laugh, they drink, they dance, sometimes with the other guests, laugh again, and drink some more.
Marco smiles at Jonas with gentle eyes whenever the brunet laughs and the corners of his beautiful eyes crinkle, enjoying the rare chance of an anonymous environment and a carefree atmosphere.
As if time stands still.
I wish time would stop right now.
But time is never on their side.
It's nearing midnight and the music has changed to a slower beat. Marco puts his arms around Jonas, who lays his head on the blond's shoulder, as they move slowly in rhythm with the music.
"I love you, Jonas.... so much," he whispers while tightening his hold around the brunet.
Jonas doesn't reply for a long while, worrying Marco. He pulls away and looks at Jonas, who looks down.
"Jonas..." Marco lifts his chin gently, "What's wrong?" Jonas slowly shakes his head, which makes Marco's heart beat faster as worry creeps in his chest.
He takes Jonas' hand and brings him to the corner of the ballroom.
"What's wrong?" Marco asks again softly when they come to a secluded place at the corner. He opens their masks and places his hand on Jonas' cheek. "Want to talk about it?"
Jonas slowly lifts his head and his eyes are glistening with unshed tears and Marco almost forgets how to breathe.
"Please, tell me what's wrong..." he feels tightness in his chest. Don’t leave me, Jonas. Please. I won’t survive the heartbreak this time.
"It's just..." Jonas croaks while looking back down. "I've been thinking of how unfair I have been. For not coming out and telling our friends and family." Marco shakes his head and smiles in relief, which makes Jonas' heart sink even further with sadness.
"Also for being selfish and wanting to keep you only mine…"
He looks up at Marco with those beautiful blue eyes, and whispers, "I love you so much, Marco..." His eyes are getting wetter and he blinks as he continues, "I... I've never fallen so deeply in love with someone else before and it terrifies me... I don't know what to doー" his voice breaks in the end.
Marco pulls Jonas closer, who gratefully nestles his head on Marco's neck, and kisses the brunet's head, while murmuring softly, "I promised I would give you all the time in the world, didn't I?" Jonas slightly nods on his shoulder. "I don't need anyone's approval, Jonas... Everything I want is already here."
Marco pulls away a bit to look at Jonas' oh so blue eyes. "You're everything I want and you're more than enough." And it terrifies me too how much I love and need you.
Jonas can’t stop his tears from falling when Marco says that, and Marco whispers softly while stroking the brunet's hair, "If you're with me, next year will be the perfect year... That's my midnight wish, Jonas, to share with you."
That's all I wantーno, that's all I need...
Unable to speak, Jonas buries his head on the space at Marco's neck and he closes his eyes as hot tears start to wet Marco's shoulder.
They stay like that for a while, until they hear everyone in the ballroom shouting the countdown from 30 seconds. Jonas composes himself, dries his eyes, and smiles at the blond. Marco puts his hand on Jonas' cheek and kisses him, and the brunet kisses him back as everyone around them wishing each other a happy new year.
They go outside, hand in hand, just in time to catch the last few minutes of the amazing Dubai fireworks and stay there for a while to take a picture of them together. Marco doesn't forget to take a selfie to put on Instagram. Without the mask.
---
Marco rolls to the side and finds the other side of the bed cold and abandoned. Jonas just steps out of the bathroom when Marco yawns and stretches.
"Good afternoon," Jonas smiles as he sits on the edge of the bed with the towel covering the lower part of his body.
Marco pulls the brunet towards himself and is about to kiss him when Jonas puts his hand on Marco's mouth. The blond whines as Jonas chuckles.
"Brush your teeth first!"
Marco pouts, but gets up from bed anyway and staggers to the bathroom. Jonas just grins and shakes his head.
They stayed up late until 5 AM, cuddling and talking on the couch with wine on the coffee table, accompanied by soft music on the background. Before they fell asleep right there on the couch, Jonas practically had to drag Marco to the bedroom. Sometimes he can’t help but wonder who is the older one in their relationship.
He is in the middle of getting dressed when Marco suddenly hugs him from behind, turns him around, and kisses him deeply. Jonas retaliates and they only part when both of them are out of breath.
"Good morning, sunshine," Marco says gently while stroking the brunet's cheek. Jonas just laughs and playfully pushes him away.
"It's 1 PM already, you big baby. I'm hungry, let's have lunch!" Marco is about to climb into the bed again when Jonas grabs his hand.
"Not that way! Shower, please, Marco."
Marco gives the brunet his best imitation of puppy eyes, "Can't we just have breakfast in bed?"
"First of all, it's already noon, so no breakfast for us. And I want to have brunch at the restaurant. Pleaseee." It's now Jonas' turn to do the puppy eyes imitation and Marco holds up the white flag right away. Jonas' eyes are too beautiful for his own good.
Sighing, Marco finally makes his way to the bathroom. Jonas shouts before Marco closes the door, "Don't take an hour to style your hair!"
---
They spend the rest of the first day of 2016 within the resort vicinity, enjoying the facilities and relaxing on the private beach.
When evening comes, they have seafood dinner by the beach, just the two of them, with their butler serving them.
To end the seemingly perfect day, they decide to have a heavenly spa, which is probably the most famous facility in their resort.
It feels like a perfect honeymoon, except it isn't one. It's their farewell and Jonas knows it, and it makes his heart sink every time he thinks of it. It's not that he doesn't believe in Marco or in their relationship. It's himself that he doesn't believe in.
He doesn't know what being in Gladbach would do to him. How he could deal with being away from Marco everyday and not having him by his side every night, like he is very much used to now.
Jonas is afraid that the distance between Dortmund and Mönchengladbach would make him grumpy and sad at times and he is afraid of hurting Marco with his temper. Lashing out at Marco is the least he wants to do, now that he has the chance to start all over again in a much healthier environment.
He knows he will do his best at his new club, and fight for his spot. He knows he will be given the chance he never had at Dortmund. But when it comes to Marco, he isn't sure. The doubts are killing him and almost tearing him apart inside.
Jonas sighs, and it doesn't escape Marco's observation. The blond has been studying Jonas for a while during their Thai massage session, since Jonas grew quiet and his face has slowly turned melancholy. Once again Marco couldn't shake the worry that comes creeping into his chest, but he decides not to say anything.
They keep their silence until the end of their massage session. When they go back to their villa, Marco can't hold on anymore. He pulls Jonas to their bedroom and kisses him passionately while trying to rid him of his clothes on their way there. Jonas puts his hand in Marco's hair while kissing him back. His other hand slips through Marco's shirt and strokes his chest.
They make love passionately that night, each other's name falling from their lips as they climb to a blissful high and they fall asleep with Marco spooning Jonas from behind. And for a while, they are both able to forget that the next day is the last day they will spend together in Dubai.
---
"I cancelled our Desert Safari plan today." Marco announces when Jonas wakes up.
"Good morning to you, too," Jonas rubs his eyes.
"Did you bring a swimsuit?" Marco asks out of the blue.
"I think so. Why?" Jonas blinks the sleep out of his eyes and inquires curiously at the blond.
"I'm going to take you on a special date, since this is our last night," Marco smiles warmly.
"What kind of a date involves swimsuit?" Jonas teases.
"You'll see," Marco winks.
He sounds excited, but there is a hint of sadness in the blond's eyes. Jonas is quiet, but he feels something dreadful rising from the pit of his stomach.
Marco notices Jonas' distress and holds out his hand to stroke his cheek, "Don't think about it too much... We'll just enjoy and make the most of our time, hm?"
Jonas forces a smile, "Yeah..." But he isn't sure he can when they're nearing the end of their borrowed time.
Marco keeps his eyes on Jonas longer before kissing him gently. He wishes time wouldn't be so cruel to them.
The best thing about their resort is how private and exclusive it is, so they can walk around hand in hand without being afraid of bumping into someone they know or, even worse, their fans. The resort is used to receiving high profile guests, so their staff is very discreet. Having a personal butler on their villa almost feels natural to them and they enjoy the ease that benefit brings to their stay.
Their butler can arrange everything, and Marco can't thank him enough for that. He isn't very good with surprises if he has to manage it by himself, but with the help of their private butler, he could plan the perfect date.
Jonas laughs when Marco takes out his hand to step into their chartered yacht that is set to sail on the Arabian Gulf. His happiness radiates from the way his lips are stretched from ear to ear and the crinkles at the corner of his eyes, that Marco can't help but fall even deeper in love with him, if that's even possible.
Their 78ft yacht is beautiful, with blue and white interior. It's complete with large sundeck and swim platform, state-of-the-art music system, a comfortable saloon, a beautifully designed cabin, and dedicated captain and host, who will prepare their exotic lunch and romantic dinner course when the sun has set.
"Wow, there's even a bedroom!" Jonas exclaims when they are inspecting the interior. "It's like our resort just moved here," he laughs heartily.
Marco wraps his arms around Jonas from behind and puts his chin on the brunet's shoulder, "Do you like it?"
Jonas tilts his head and kisses Marco's cheek, "I love it. Thank you." He smiles and Marco feels warmth spreading in his chest.
They spend 10 hours sailing on the Arabian Gulf, and it almost feels too short. No matter what, time seems to fly so fast; too fast for them. Without realizing it, the sun has set, and they have their romantic dinner outside at the deck, with the iconic Dubai skyline as their view.
Jonas lies on top of Marco on the deck after dinner, staring at the stars above and Burj Al Arab on the far distance. How they wish they could spend days and months and years like this, side by side, holding each other close.
"Let's go back to our villa..." Marco finally says.
And Jonas knows their time is coming to an end.
---
It's their final night together, and both of them can barely close their eyes. Marco never stops holding Jonas throughout the night, kissing his head once in a while, and stroking his arm.
Jonas doesn't stop kissing Marco's cheek and looks up at him sometimes with glassy eyes. Every time Jonas looks at him, Marco kisses him and smiles knowingly, and whispers 'I love you'.
They eventually drift to sleep and wake up earlier than they have to, still in the same positions more or less. They pack their luggage in silence and Marco holds his hand as they leave the villa.
Jonas is extremely quiet on their way to the airport and Marco can't stop stealing glances at him. He never lets go of the brunet's hand until they arrive at the private jet terminal.
It does not take very long until their documents are checked and they are ushered to their private jet.
Jonas is still silent when the jet has taken off, and keeps looking out the window, that Marco can't take it anymore.
"Jonas..." The silence is unbearable.
"Jonas... Please, look at me."
When Jonas still doesn't reply, Marco finally gets up from his seat and approaches Jonas. That's when he notices that Jonas is shaking.
Marco quickly unfastens the brunet's seat belt, takes him to the sofa and pulls him close, holding him in his arms. He strokes Jonas' hair and back while kissing his hair.
"We'll get through this, I promise..." Marco whispers. Jonas buries his face on Marco's chest and tightens his grip on the blond's shirt as if his life depends on it.
"Oh Jonas..." It breaks Marco's heart to see him like this. His sadness is nothing compared to seeing Jonas breaking down like this.
"Just let me be vulnerable here, please, Marco..." Jonas whispers brokenly, "When we arrive, real life starts... and I will have to be the strong Jonas everyone knows..." His voice fades and Marco strokes his hair.
"I love you," is all Marco says before he closes his eyes and feels his own eyes getting wet. His hand never stops stroking Jonas' hair as he feels his lover's body wracked in quiet sobs.
Eventually Jonas pulls away and wipes his tears. Marco kisses his temple and the remains of his tears, and strokes his face softly. It breaks the blond's heart to see the sad frown on his lover's face and those beautiful blue eyes now red and puffy.
Marco puts their foreheads together and whispers, "I love you."
"I love you, too," Jonas whispers as Marco claims his lips.
Marco maneuvers their position in such a way that Jonas' head ends up on his lap for the remaining duration of their flight to Düsseldorf.
"Is this wise, Marco?" Jonas looks up to him with those oh so beautiful blue eyes.
"Is what wise?" Marco asks softly, while playing with the brunet's hair.
"This. Us. This... dangerous game?"
Marco frowns, "It's never a game for me, Jonas, it never was. I'm really serious about you. I will make this work. We will... Will you? Please?" Marco can't help feeling the same sudden anxiety that threatens to burst from his chest.
Jonas takes a deep breath, before answering while locking eyes with Marco's almost desperate hazel eyes, "I just... don't want to hurt you."
"As long as you're with me, you won't. Let's just do this together and see, hm? Don't worry about us too much. We'll be fine," Marco places a kiss on his forehead. "We will," he whispers almost to himself.
"I will miss having you around and teasing me..." Jonas reaches out to touch Marco's cheek. Marco places a hand on top of Jonas' hand on his face and strokes it with his thumb.
"I will miss you everyday when you're not there. But then that will make me more excited to see you after training's done," Marco smiles crookedly, the childlike adorable smile that Jonas loves so much.
Marco looks at him longer with gentle eyes, his right hand stroking Jonas' forehead. He plants a kiss on Jonas' hand that's still on his cheek.
"Good luck in Gladbach. You will be wonderful there and I will always support you," he says softly.
Jonas smiles, and to Marco's eyes, it's the most beautiful smile he's ever seen.
And face to face, we will embrace the perfect year.