Archive of Our Own ^beta

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

“Ugh.”

The phone alarm shuts off with a slam. The sound of a hand shuffling around fabric and slapping against phone glass momentarily filling up the quiet room.

Kotone groans as she stretches in bed. Her bones crackling and popping before she sits up. Surprisingly, the sleep was comfortable, indented lines ran along her forearms from the fabric of her sheets or her clothes.

She pulls the blanket around herself even tighter, cheek against her pillow as she tried to enjoy her last 5 minutes of peace for the day. Eventually, the sunlight peeking through her window hits her face with all of her adjusting, and that’s, unfortunately, her cue to get up.

She squints, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she blindly searches for her glasses and putting them on with a yawn.

Just another Wednesday. Another two days until the weekend to go through. And, approximately one day until she’s free from classes.

Her phone lights up with unread messages. She’ll look at those later.

8:15 AM.

Kotone rolls out of bed and shuffles through the bathroom to get ready for the day. This mainly consists of: brushing her teeth, washing her face, and putting on just enough concealer and makeup to hide the bags under her eyes.

Yeesh.

No amount of melatonin could save her.

Once packed up and ready for the day, Kotone pieces together a quick breakfast. And by that, she means she’s a broke college student who threw some cereal and milk together before calling it a morning.

But hey, food is food.

Her spoon clinks against the bowl as she scrolls through her phone to catch up with unread messages. She fires off a few texts to classmates and sends an obnoxious amount of heart emojis in response to her mom’s texts.

Few messages, however, stand out.

SHEON LI: hey loser. come to our dance practice today, i need ur opinion on our routine bc i’ve been staring at the videos for too long

Kim Suyeon. They had met in Kotone’s 1st year of college and Suyeon’s 2nd year, respectively. They were introduced through mutual friends and kept in contact ever since. Suyeon’s one of those friends that you can still be close with whether or not you talk every day or every few weeks. Messages like this weren’t uncommon.

Kotone ignores that Suyeon just called her a loser and types up a quick response.

OTOMATONE: what happened to good morning? how was your sleep kotone? are you busy today? -_-;;

SHEON LI: girl what sleep. neither of us are getting it.. r u coming or not??

She frowns. What college student ever has a good sleep schedule? She’ll just shove another spoonful of cereal into her mouth. Crunch. Crunch.

OTOMATONE: point taken. but sure, yeah. i’ll come. i just need to work on some stuff there too.

SHEON LI: 😚. that’s fine, i just need another pair of eyeballs to look at it. i think the practice video might be burned onto my laptop screen

OTOMATONE: i got u. practice still at 4?

SHEON LI: yea, i’ll see u later

Looks like she’s got plans for the day after class. Kotone scrolls off to look at Instagram for a few minutes. Cute dog. Cute dog. An old friend from high school. Cute dog. Random meme. Another acquaintance who’s.. getting married?

Okay! That’s enough Instagram. They haven’t even graduated yet.. How are people already getting married?!

Kotone shakes her head, moving to the kitchen to clean up her bowl and spoon before grabbing her bag and heading out for the day.

Classes pass by in a blur–choosing back-to-back classes has disadvantages and perks. On one hand, her classes are now over, and she is technically free. On the other hand, Kotone wants to die.

Having classes all day from 9:30 AM to 3:30 PM with only 10-minute breaks is not for the weak.

She deeply regrets telling Suyeon she would come to the studio.

But she said she’d be there, and she’s no promise-breaker, so… she heads down the sidewalk to the nearby dance studio, backpack slung over her shoulders.

The walk is approximately 20 minutes, but with gay powerwalking and blasting music into her earphones, Kotone makes it there in 10.

Pushing through the studio doors, she very easily spots Suyeon standing by one of the laptops in the corner and looking for the right music to play.

Kotone grins, slowly tiptoeing towards Suyeon before jumping up next to her. “Boo.” Suyeon flinches, looking to her left in concern before her expression falls.

“Bitch… what happened to hello? How are you?” She parrots Kotone’s texts from earlier, putting a hand on her hip with a raised brow.

Kotone stares.

Suyeon stares back for a few seconds before laughing and coming in to hug Kotone with a tight squeeze.

“I’m kidding, it’s been forever! I was starting to think you fossilized in your apartment.”

“It’s only been a week–” The younger girl tries to say, still squeezed by Suyeon.

“Whatever, that’s way too long. Anyway,” Suyeon lets go, and Kotone finally gets to start a regular breathing pattern again, “Glad you could make it. I wasn’t kidding about the laptop screen.”

Her eyes follow to where Suyeon pointed, her face contorting in slight horror, as she can–in fact–see images burned onto her friend’s laptop.

“What the… Unnie??? How long were you at your desk? I thought you were KIDDING?”

“... Don’t. ask.”

. . .

Kotone claps her hands together. “Okay! What exactly did you want me to look at?”

“Oh! I was kinda hoping you’d review our performance. We’re just gonna be doing it over and over again and fine-tuning, but I feel like I’m missing something? Or something is off. I’m not sure.” Suyeon explains as she pulls up the music.

“I see… Yeah, sure. Again, I gotta do a little bit of work for some of my classes but I’ll be looking.”

Other girls have filed in, and Kotone can hear them gathering. Some of them say hi to Suyeon, who waves without looking.

“God. You’re a lifesaver. Thank you. You can just sit over there and watch. There are some chairs so, just do what you want.”

Kotone gives a thumbs-up while walking backward and away from Suyeon. Her friend turns to say something, but it gets cut off when she bumps right into someone.

“AUGH–”

“Woah–”

The Japanese girl stumbles back at the impact, feeling a new pair of hands help stabilize her. Whoever it was seemed to be somewhat taller. Kotone has to tilt her head upward and to the side to get a peek at the stranger.

Her eyes slowly trail up the new set of hands on her side, only to be met with warm, brown eyes and a confused smile. Huh. Pretty.

When the other girl tilts her head, Kotone jumps out of her grip, whipping around to fully face the new person with an apologetic expression. “I am so sorry.”

“I got you, don’t mention it,” The girl’s smile widens, and she swears she’s getting blinded from how bright it is. “Just be more careful, yeah? You could’ve gotten hurt.”

“Ahem.” Suyeon clears her throat, raising a brow at Kotone. “Get ready y’all. We’re starting practice in five.”

“I should–” Kotone points off to the side with her thumb.

“Right, right.” The girl (presumably one of the dancers) seems to retreat inwards a bit, patting Kotone on the shoulder before passing by her to talk to Suyeon.

Kotone, on the other hand, releases a breath and heads towards the side of the dance practice studio. She.. plops down on the floor. The chairs were there, but no tables, so she’d just have to deal with her laptop being on her lap. She unzips her bag and sets up while Suyeon talks to the other dancers.

…Now that she can, Kotone finally peeks at the dancer from earlier to get a better look.

Now, she has eyes. She has to give out tens where they’re due.

The dancer from earlier is tall, has bright eyes, and is absolutely gorgeous. Not entirely shocking, of course. With the way she bounds around some of her friends, her playful and surprisingly loud nature reminds Kotone of a puppy. A very cute one, at that.

“Alright! Let’s get practice started.” Suyeon claps again, getting the attention of everyone, including Kotone, as she speaks over the crowd. “I did ask a friend for help today— Everyone say hi to Kotone.”

A chorus of hellos comes out from the girls–including the girl from earlier–as Kotone waves her hand and peeks out from the side of her laptop screen. And then, they lock eyes again. The embodiment of literal sunshine beams at her again, and Kotone can only offer a shy smile in return.

“She’s just here to observe and help me out after.. My predicament for the past few days.”

“...Just pretend I’m not here!” Kotone adds with a quick thumbs up, trying to busy herself with her laptop and pretend she doesn’t feel the stare.

“Yup! Just an observer. So, if y’all are ready, let’s get started!”

Surely, this will go away once she really gets into her work since she will only be observing here and there, right?

It did not go away.

Kotone tried. She tried so hard to work on her assignments. Her Google docs have been open, and only one sentence, save for her name, has made it onto the page.

She really needs a name for this girl because, quite frankly, she’s flabbergasted. In one moment, she’s exuding the same cute, puppy-like energy from before. And then, in the next, she’s turned into some kind of demonic woman that Kotone finds incredibly attractive.

Of course. She just has to be drop-dead gorgeous too. Long brown locks cascading down her back from earlier are now tied into a ponytail and swishing behind her with every movement. A few pieces still frame her face and Kotone can’t help but let her eyes wander across what looks like delicate skin. It’s impossible to describe her face with just one word. Though, if she had to choose, she’d says she’s breathtaking.

Her dance moves are sharp and precise– it’s clear that she’s been dancing for a long time. Her charisma and stage presence feels unmatched: She tries to look at the other girls dancing but finds her eyes wandering back to her every single time.

There are even moments when she catches her staring, winking at Kotone when she notices. It has her looking away immediately and reaching for her water bottle.

She uncaps the bottle, taking a large gulp out of it.

What the hell is wrong with her?

Kotone resolves to try to avoid looking at her as much as humanly possible and find something to help Suyeon out. Her friend needed her help! And she’s trying not to be gay! Emphasis on trying, anyway.

It just really doesn’t help that the dance has been repeated quite a few times now, meaning that everyone–including mystery girl–are a bit tired and sweating from the exertion.

Do not look at her. Do not look at her. Do not look at her. DO NOT–

“Whew. Okay. I’m calling it.” Suyeon waves her hands, “Everyone take 10. Get some water, use the bathroom– Whatever it is you gotta do, go now.”

Kotone lives to see another day! She can finally get some work done.

She split screens her assignments, pasting the prompts into her document for now. At least it’s something. As soon as she gets typing, Kotone tunes out from the rest of the girls, fingers flying across the keyboard of her laptop as she quickly churns out her initial post for the discussion board.

What kind of professor has a 500-word minimum for an initial discussion post, of all things? Nobody is actually reading all that!

…And post. Kotone scans her peers’ replies. She’s looking for anything she can reply to while reading the least amount of content possible.

Hi! I really enjoyed reading your post this week! I appreciated how you pointed out that–

Soft brown eyes peek out from above Kotone’s laptop, effectively making her perk up and snap out of her work mode.

“Kotone, right?”

She nearly evaporates on the spot.

“Yup, that’s.. Me. And you are…?”

Her hands slightly lowered the laptop lid to see that the mystery girl had already sat across from her, crossed-legged.

“Hsu Nientzu. But, most people just say Nien.”

Now that she can put a face to the name, a portion of her stress withers away… only to be replaced by a new threat.

CODE RED!!!!

Nien is… much, much prettier up close. Her bright energy is incredibly infectious, and Kotone finds herself captivated. Her eyes wander along the other girl’s features, trailing up the delicate bridge of her nose and back into warm, brown eyes again.

She hadn’t gotten a full look earlier as she had to rush away to avoid interrupting the session. But now? Kotone gets a full view of her, and she really might just die.

“Sorry if I interrupted your work. I just wanted to talk to you again.” Nien adds, after the lack of a response, she’s absolutely mortified. She just got caught staring. Literally in her face.

“R-Right. It’s cool, no worries! Everything’s already saved and isn’t due for another day.” Kotone uses all of her willpower to keep her voice even and maintain a relatively normal-ish amount of eye contact.

“Ooh, cool! What’re you working on?” Unfortunately (or fortunately?), Nien gets up and moves to sit right next to her, leaning in slightly and looking towards Kotone with shining eyes.

“It’s– Well. It’s just a discussion post for one of my classes. I,” A cough. “Doubt you’ll find it any interesting. Just.. standard college student.. Stuff. I figured you’d probably find more fun things to do on your break with your friends.”

“Hmm.. maybe! But since we literally bumped into each other, I was kinda curious about you.”

“...Really?”

“Yeah! Crashing into a pretty girl wasn’t on my schedule, but I can’t say I’m complaining. Again, I’m just glad you didn’t get hurt!”

“Sorry about that… again.” Kotone mentally cringes when she remembers their interaction from about an hour ago. “Thanks for helping me out back there.”

“No problem!”

Kotone pulls up one of the assignment prompts again just to humor the other girl’s curiosity from earlier. Nien’s eyes scan the prompt, making small comments here and there. It’s strange to see her looking through Kotone’s half-assed discussion post with such sincerity.

However, the interaction is cut short when someone yells from one of the entrances.

“Hey, Nien. Can you help me out over here? I have too many drinks and not enough hands,” Making the aforementioned girl perk up, head turning to find the source.

“Oh! I’ll be there in a sec, Yujin!” She calls out before looking back at Kotone with a dramatic sigh. “Guess I gotta go for now.”

“Yeah– Uh. Go do what you gotta do. Practice is important.”

She’s a little disappointed with the interaction getting cut short but.. Perhaps it’s for the best.

“I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah! See you..” Kotone’s hands move before she can think about it, making finger guns as the other girl gets up.

Thankfully, Nien laughs, shooting one back at her before bounding away to help out whoever Yujin is, presumably.

As soon as Nien turns to the door, Kotone facepalms. Finger guns. Seriously? What’s wrong with her today?

She makes eye contact with Suyeon from across the room. She can tell that the other girl is trying not to laugh at her, with her mouth being covered by her left hand and her phone in the other.

Kotone’s phone lights up with a message.

SHEON LI: ur gay ass..

OTOMATONE: i love the support i’m getting here.

SHEON LI: god bless the sapphics but my god some of you are stupid

Kotone looks to her left and then to her right. No one is paying attention to her.

She sticks her middle finger up at Suyeon, earning a scandalized look from the other girl before going back to her homework.

Practice resumes as usual, and Kotone makes sure to watch this time, scrutinizing for any details her friend might have missed. Formations, moves, whatever it is, she’s gonna at least try to find something.

“Sooooo, what did you think?” Suyeon asks at the end of practice while they both stand by her laptop again.

“Bye, Kotone!!” Nien yells, waving energetically at Kotone before sprinting out the door.

Kotone waves at her before turning back to an amused-looking Suyeon. “Sorry, what?”

“Now that you’re done being gay–I said, what did you think of the practice? Concerns? Thoughts? Prayers?”

“I’m gonna ignore that you’re making fun of me.. ” Kotone mumbled, crossing her arms as she reviews everything she watched from their cover performance today.

“Mm.. I think you guys are good. Maybe just balance out the members on each side more easily? There’s just a few parts where you guys have only 6 members up so it’s kinda hard to pinpoint a center here?” She reaches over to Suyeon’s laptop, skipping to the practice video from last night and pausing at one part.

To be honest, she’s not really sure that it’s the best comment since Suyeon remains silent for a moment, brain gears visibly turning.

“I mean obviously you guys can always polish up the moves themselves some more too but–”

“Kamimoto Kotone,” Suyeon grabs her shoulder with one hand. “You’re a genius. I have an idea.”

“I didn’t really–”

Suyeon’s already shoving her towards the door, “You helped plenty! I just need to start brainstorming and ask the girls for their opinions on a few changes and–”

It’s no use. Now that her friend was in the zone, Kotone knew that she should probably just leave her be.

“Text me when you get home?”

“Yeah, you text me too. I won’t be alone since Tsuki said she’d swing by, too, so don’t worry about me. Just don’t die, okay?” Suyeon waves her hands dismissively.

It isn’t until Kotone gets back to her apartment and texts Suyeon that she gets back safely that she realizes. She never ended up getting Nien’s number or anything of the sort.

Well, shit.

Kotone sighs and walks to her bed, dramatically flopping down onto the mattress and staring up at the ceiling in anguish.

It wasn’t like she was gonna see her again anyway. Maybe it’s for the best.

The next few weeks drag on.

Sleep, eat, go to class, do work, eat, sleep.

Kotone’s eyes burn when she takes her eyes off of her laptop. Man. This was kinda depressing. One paragraph later, she’s pinching the bridge of her nose, taking off her glasses, and closing the lid of her laptop.

Yeah. Not happening. The image of her essay is already burned into her retinas. She wouldn’t want to end up like Suyeon and have it etched into her laptop screen too.

The library is relatively quiet as she moves to lay her head against the table. The wood is cool against her cheek as she closes her eyes. Thankfully, the turning of textbook pages and occasional whispers every so often add to the peaceful ambiance.

She probably could’ve chosen to have a study session with one of her friends but they likely wouldn’t have gotten a whole lot done, even if the essay is due next week.

Her mind wanders as she rests, topics ranging from what she ate for lunch today to something as ridiculous as the latest episode of a drama she had watched recently. Which, reminds her that she probably should try to catch up when she has the free time.

Suyeon had kept texting her all about the male lead and how handsome he was. And, like a good friend, she did at least try to watch it. He’s… alright. If anything, Kotone only kept watching for the actual plot of the show. If she tries hard enough, she can pretend that the two main female leads are in love with each other.

Thinking about Suyeon reminds her about their practice. And, that’s when Hsu Nientzu reappears in her mind. Kotone could just ask Suyeon about her. And logically, this makes sense! But she knows she’d never hear the end of it.

Maybe she’ll just have to ask again when they plan on uploading the video.

Something cold pressed against Kotone’s cheek. Wh.

Kotone tries not to sputter, flying back upright in her seat so fast that it makes her head spin. The chair rattles from her movements and punctures the silence of the library with an embarrassing echo.

Unfocused eyes look around for the source, zeroing on a can of Dr. Pepper being held out to her.

Her gaze slowly trails up to meet a very familiar face. Kotone breathes out a sigh of relief. At least it wasn’t someone random.

“Sohyun unnie… ” Kotone groans, pouting at her friend as she gratefully takes the drink. “You scared me.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Sohyun stifles a laugh, her now free hand moving to ruffle her hair. “You looked like you needed it.”

Park Sohyun, another senior and friend of hers. They met through a song-writing workshop on campus. Kotone’s still working on their latest collaboration. They typically go back and forth with lyrics and hang out pretty regularly when they have the time.

So, it’s safe to say that she considers her one of her good friends besides Suyeon. Arguably, she’d say they’re pretty close, assuming Sohyun shares the same sentiment.

“Thank you. But, I also.. probably shouldn’t drink it in here.” Kotone glances at librarian’s desk and tries not to shudder. She does Not want to piss off the old woman at the counter. She takes her job way too seriously. What if she throws a ruler at her or something?

“Let’s talk outside?” Kotone offers, already shoving her things into her bag.

Sohyun gives her a nod, picking up one of her textbooks and holding it out for her to grab when she’s ready.

As soon as she’s finished, the two of them head out of the library, sitting on one of the nearby benches on campus.

The soda cans pop open with a hiss. “So, what’s up?” Sohyun asks, reclining back against the bench.

Kotone shrugs, sipping on her Dr. Pepper. “Not much really. Just the usual. Classes and all. Plus, that file you sent me to work on.” She tries not to mentally cringe. It sounds so much more lame saying it out loud. Maybe Suyeon was right. She might be a little bit of a loser.

“Hm.. Would you say you have a good bit of free time then?” Sohyun asks, tilting her head. “Because I.. honestly had a favor to ask from you.”

Oh?

Kotone raises a brow, swirling the remaining soda in her can. “A favor?”

Sohyun nods. “You can say no if you don’t want to do it. But, a few friends and I are forming a band. And since I’m pretty sure you still play piano…” She trails off, taking another sip from her can. “I was hoping you’d be cool with being our keyboardist? We’ve been looking for a while but no one’s really matched the vibes. And honestly, I trust you the most with it.”

Kotone blinks. Playing? For a real band? None of her songs have actually been performed live before. Hell, she hasn’t done a piano recital in at least a few years.

As if sensing her apprehension, Sohyun makes sure to continue, “At least, up until after our first performance. If you don’t like it, you can quit and I won’t bug you about it again. We’re.. just really pressed for a keyboardist. The performance is scheduled for a little over a month from now.”

Kotone looks between her can and Sohyun, contemplating the information. It’s… not like she has anything better to do. And, she trusts Sohyun. They’ve been working together for long enough that she has her respect. If she’s asking her for a favor, it’s a compliment. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

Sohyun’s eyes widen. “Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah… I trust you too. Just, maybe don’t expect too much? You know I haven’t really played my keyboard for anyone publically in a minute.”

The older girl grins, giving her an affectionate pat on the shoulder. “Don’t even worry about it. Honestly, the whole thing was a bit last minute and kind of unserious. We’re all just doing this for fun and as a side-gig.”

“If you say so..” Kotone sighs, chugging the last of her soda. This’ll be good for her. She can probably make more friends and get better at playing..

Kotone follows Sohyun to practice the next day. The older girl tries to give her some more background information on the band as they walk towards the studio.

“We’ve got two guitarists and a drummer, plus you and me.” Sohyun explains, playing with the straps of her bass’s gig bag. “Two of them can be a bit… high energy sometimes but they’re sweet. I honestly think you’ll get along with everyone just fine.”

Sohyun leads them through the front desk and towards the door of their reserved space. “Ready?” There are sounds of voices talking that can already be heard from beyond the wooden door.

Kotone’s grip tightens slightly on her gig bag as she nods. “Yeah, sure. Let’s do this.”

Sohyun leads in, door creaking. “Hey guys, this is the friend I was talking about.”

The chatter in the room comes to a halt as three heads swivel to look in their direction.

She waves with her free hand, stepping out from behind Sohyun. “Kamimoto Kotone. It’s nice to meet you guys.”

“No way, it’s you!” A familiar, loud voice rings through her ears. She’s imagining things, right? Shuffling steps get closer and closer until Kotone is face to face with her again.

She’s dreaming. There’s no way this is real. Kotone has to blink a couple times.

Hsu Nientzu stands in front of her. Her bright smile plastered on her face just like the last time they met. It’s just as pretty as she remembers it being. It wraps itself around her heart and squeezes.

“This is so cool! I didn’t know you played piano. You should’ve said so!”

Kotone can feel the three other pairs of eyes on her. A sheepish laugh makes its way through her throat. Her hand feels sweaty around her gig bag’s strap. “It never came up…?”

Nien pouts, “Tone.. As much as I enjoyed looking at your homework, we could’ve talked about music too!”

Kotone feels a blush creeping up her neck at the way the nickname casually slips out. The butterflies in her stomach make themselves present as Nien’s still pouting at her with pleading eyes.

How can she say no to that?

Sohyun coughs, looking between the two of them. It effectively bursts the bubble that being around Nien makes her feel, causing her to snap her head towards the older girl. “I didn’t know you guys knew each other.”

Kotone tries to avoid her gaze when Sohyun throws her a smug look and knows she’s going to be questioned about it later.

“Oh! Yeah,” Nien grins, nodding her head excitedly. “This was the pretty girl from my friend’s dance group that I was telling you guys about!”

Her face involuntarily flushes at the compliment. “We met a few weeks ago.”

Another girl curiously eyes her, standing next to Sohyun. “So, you’re the new keyboardist?”

Kotone releases a breath, thankful for the subject change. “Yeah, Sohyun unnie asked me to fill in until after the first show to see if you guys and I end up liking the arrangement.”

“Hm. Good call.” The girl nods, stretching out a hand for Kotone, which she takes. “Kim Nakyoung. I’m mostly on rhythm guitar and I guess you could say I’m kind of the leader for these guys.” Nakyoung seems to sigh, looking at Nien and the other girl in the room with an affectionate but tired eye roll. “Sohyun helps me out though..”

“Hey… You make it sound like we’re terrible! Nien and I literally started this band.” The other girl huffs, “Anyway. Yoon Seoyeon, I’m the lead guitarist. It’s nice to meet you.”

Kotone nods at both of them. Nakyoung and Seoyeon. They seemed nice!

“You already know me but I’m on the drums. Looking forward to seeing what you got.” Nien winks at her.

“Bro… can you not?” Seoyeon lightly shoves her, “Have some class! She just got here!”

“OWWWW… I didn’t do anything, what the heck?!” Nien smacks her back in the arm.

“What about us…? What about everything we’ve been through?” The shorter of the two sings, dramatically clutching onto her arm.

“And what about trust?” Nien begrudgingly replies, with her arms crossed.

“OKAY. OKAY..” Nakyoung immediately steps in between them, sensing a childish argument on the verge of breaking out. Kotone belatedly thinks that it reminds her of a kindergarten teacher. “Let’s at least give Kotone the rundown of what we’re trying to do today.”

Kotone has, admittedly, looked over the chord sheets that Sohyun sent her. But, playing it on your own compared to with the whole band is a different story.

By the time the final notes ring out, Kotone is staring in amazement at the rest of the members. Despite a few slip ups from her, for playing together for the first time, they actually didn’t sound too bad.

Kotone discovers that Seoyeon is incredibly good at playing the guitar, blowing through her solo with ease. Nakyoung’s guitar supports her well and she has an angelic voice. It seems fitting for her to be one of the lead vocals.

Sohyun is as reliable as ever, bass notes providing a much fuller structure to their playing and an extra layer to their sound. And Nien. Where does Kotone even begin with Nien?

Nien genuinely looks like she has the time of her life while playing the drums. She seems to go all out, her bright energy translating into how well she plays. Her whole body seems to move with the music, each hit from her drumsticks is strong and purposeful. It feels like her drums add a punch to their song. And, with everyone all together, it feels… complete.

Kotone can’t deny that playing her keyboard again was exhilarating. She’d always play by herself and most times, the keyboard would only really be used when she’s at home or working on more collaborations with Sohyun.

“Holy shit.” Nakyoung murmurs, eyes sparkling as she looks to the rest of the members. “I think this is it.”

Sohyun and Nakyoung lock eyes–a silent conversation flowing between the two of them before they look to Kotone.

“The spot is yours if you want it.” Nakyoung finally says, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

“But I already knew you’d be perfect.” Sohyun makes sure to add from the side, giving a thumbs up.

Kotone mentally breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank you..” Her eyes wander across the other three girls, landing on Nien. Admittedly, her reaction was the one she was most worried about.

Nien stares at her quietly with a look of amazement and surprise. “Wow.”

Seoyeon grins, “Not bad. How long was Sohyun planning on hiding you from us?” She jokingly jabs a finger at the aforementioned girl.

A huff. Sohyun presses her lips into a thin line. “Hey.. I wasn’t just going to bother her out of nowhere. I had to make sure she wasn’t busy. Besides, the choice is up to her.”

Kotone feels all eyes on her as they wait for a response. Though, in all honesty, she was about 70% sure she had her choice before even practicing with them in the first place. This run just proved her intuition was right. Besides, she could always back out after the performance.

“I’ll do it. You guys seem fun. At least until the performance for now. We can check in again after?”

Nakyoung gives her a thumbs up.

A chorus of cheers breaks out from the three of them, seemingly startling Nien as she immediately gets up from her stool. She breaks into a grin.

“We gotta celebrate!”

“I’m so down for food.” Seoyeon nods at her friend, poking at Sohyun’s elbow to try and get her to play along.

“If we are doing this,” Nakyoung squints, “It has to be after practice. Y’know. Since we’re a band?”

Nien raises her arm up in a dorky salute, “You got it, Captain Naky!” She does, however also notice Kotone trying to stifle a laugh, shooting her a wink before lowering her arm.

In the weeks that follow, Kotone finds herself more energized after finishing classes. It’s reassuring to know that she has something to look forward to after a long day. And, during these practices, she ends up learning a lot about the band members too.

Seoyeon and Nien had started the band together as they’d been friends ever since they were young. Apparently, it got too boring just playing with only the two of them. There was only so much they could do with just two people.

“What was I supposed to do, Seoyeon? Play the keyboard with my foot?”

“Man, I dunno.” Seoyeon’s face wrinkles, “I wouldn’t want your stinky feet anywhere near your old keyboard anyway.”

“MY FEET ARE NOT STINKY.”

“Oooh.. you want me so bad.”

Though, it’s interesting to know that Nien knows how to play the piano too. She tries to dismiss the thoughts of playing a duet with the girl as soon as they enter her brain.

Kotone does remember having to help Sohyun pull Nien and Seoyeon apart quite a lot though. Those two were always bickering. It’s a miracle that Nakyoung hasn’t grown any grey hairs.

Speaking of their leader, Nakyoung proves to be pretty reliable. Apparently Nien had dragged her in from a dance class/workshop after suddenly approaching her. At first, Kotone had been a bit intimidated by her. She was stern, hardworking, and even one of their main songwriters with Sohyun.

At least, she was intimidating until the one time Sohyun revealed her large My Melody collection and love for cats. …And Seoyeon may have pulled up a video of her tripping over air. Nakyoung made them practice the song 5 more times after that.

Seeing as she already knew Sohyun, she wasn’t surprised to know that her friend had a silly side while also being reliable. But, it was equally even more entertaining to know that she actually would indulge in some of Seoyeon and Nien’s ridiculous requests–much to Nakyoung’s disappointment.

Seoyeon.. Kotone actually really respects her. Despite all her silliness, she has to admit that she’s talented. Seoyeon works through her guitar solos with ease and can be just as strict as Nakyoung when it comes to herself. On particularly serious days, Seoyeon’s usually consulting Nakyoung for pointers as they head out the studio together after practice.

And.. Nien. Kotone doesn’t know where to start with Nien. After their first meeting and having to see each other for practice, she has to admit that she quite likes having the other girl around.

Nien strides up to her during their breaks with her phone in hand and armed with more cute dog videos. Kotone doesn’t comment on the fact that there’s an uncanny resemblance between the two of them.

The two of them stay seated, shoulders bumping as Nien shows her yet another dog video. She’s holds her phone in between both of them and Kotone keeps her eyes on the video as she sees Nien trying to gauge her reactions from the corner of her eye.

“Is this just your entire feed now?” She laughs when they continue to scroll and find even more videos after the last.

“I guess so,” Nien’s hands had subconsciously reached for Kotone’s, absentmindedly fumbling with them in her left hand, “They’re super cute though! I think I’m healing just by looking at them.” She coos at a puppy staring at the camera.

And so, that’s how Kotone finds her phone chiming multiple times throughout the day with puppy videos after Sohyun adds her to the band’s groupchat. Sometimes, Nien sends her red pandas too. These messages are usually accompanied with an onslaught of emojis and lots of exclamation points. She probably shouldn’t be surprised, her usual bright demeanor seems to translate into texting too.

Sometimes, Kotone calls Nien while she walks home. She likes to hear the other girl talk as she drives back. It makes the walk back to her apartment a bit brighter.

“Do you mind if I take you home?” Nien asks as they walk out of the studio, hands reaching to take Kotone’s gig bag out of her hands.

She stills. “I wouldn’t want to impose or anything. It’s not that far of a walk.”

Nien frowns a little. “It wouldn’t be imposing. I can’t just let a pretty girl walk home by herself. I get worried when you’re walking back, even if I’m technically with you on the phone.”

Kotone tries not to let the sentiment affect her. They’re just friends.

“Are you sure..?”

“Positive! And, I promise I won’t drive all crazy like I’m in Mario Kart.”

They fall into a routine. Nien helps her with her bags and takes her to her car. They talk about their days and curate a collaborative playlist for when they head back from practice. Sometimes there are snacks.

Today, Kotone finds herself grinning as Nien rants at a stoplight with her eyes still fixated on the road to keep them both safe. She’s already gotten accustomed to this kind of conversation after being dropped off several times now.

Apparently, she’s quite passionate about the fact that Sohyun puts the milk in before the cereal.

“It’s hard to get the proper ratio of milk to cereal if you do it first. I have no idea why she even does it like that.” Nien mutters, gripping the steering wheel with a sigh.

“I think she says it keeps the cereal from getting soggy so fast..?” Kotone offers, “But also it’s probably to put the milk carton away faster.”

Nien groans at that. “But… it just feels wrong.”

She can’t help but chuckle at the sight. The stoplight turns green and they move through the city again. Kotone’s gaze keeps flitting back to the other girl, watching the remaining sunlight hit her and make her look absolutely ethereal. It feels fitting. Nien has been a bright light in her life from the moment she entered it.

“Oh! There was this song I wanted to show you. But it’s on my phone so I have to–”

“I got it, just focus on driving.”

Both of them reach for Nien’s phone that’s plugged into the aux. Kotone freezes when their hands brush momentarily–tingles zipping up from the point of contact and up her arm. In an effort to not make things awkward, Kotone swipes the phone.

“Promise I won’t look at anything. It’s just dangerous to be on your phone and drive.” Exhale. “Plus, didn’t you say you weren’t going to Mario Kart style drive us into a tree the first time you offered to take me home a couple weeks ago?”

“Hey! I still won’t do that.” She jokingly frowns. “But, whatever. The song is called Everybody Talks. Naky recommended it to me the other day and I thought you might like it.”

The rest of the car ride is smooth after that. They do however, end up with a much longer playlist by the end of it.

By the time they’ve said their goodbyes and Kotone has all of her belongings back in ther room, she can still feel the brush of the other girl’s fingers on her hand. And there’s an extra snack left in her bag. A bright orange sticky note is attached to the chips with a smiley face and a heart.

She already feels herself biting back a grin as attaches the sticky note onto her desk to add it to the collection that’s steadily growing.

They’re just friends. Nien could just be treating her nicely since they’re friends.

She shouldn’t get her hopes up.

She tries to shove the feeling down. Out of sight out of mind.

Fortunately (Or rather, unfortunately), Kotone doesn’t have to go to practice every single day of the week. With everyone’s schedules and other obligations, the band simply made the decision to meet on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.

So. Her Friday has been boring thus far.

Some college students are out there partying, celebrating or enjoying the very beginning of the weekend. But for Kotone, all she had managed to do was watch cooking videos on YouTube as procrastination, do a little bit of work, and look over the music sheets for their band’s setlist.

Suyeon had texted her here and there about the progress of practice. So, it sounded like their dance cover had been going well after the last time she came to watch.

Kotone casts a glance at her textbooks and sighs. She might as well get some more work done.

And, that’s exactly how her table turns into a mess of papers, highlighters, and eraser shavings.

Her thoughts are punctuated by sound of her phone ringing. The vibrations rippling across the table.

Her hand hovers over her phone. She feels her breath caught in her throat at the caller id.

“...Hello?”

“Tone! Are you busy?” Nien’s voice still sounds like honey through her phone’s speakers. Sweet, smooth, and as energetic as ever.

“Uh,” Kotone casts a glance at the papers spread out across the rest of her table and the opened textbook off to her right. “Not really. Just finishing some more homework.”

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how urgent would you say those assignments are? 1 being they’re just extra credit and 10 being it’s due in an hour?”

She laughs, brows raising at the question. “Maybe a 4? It isn’t due for another few days.”

There’s a clapping noise on the other line that barely makes it through. “Nice. So, if you’re feeling up to it, how do you feel about taking a walk down the Han River? Pretty sure there’s gonna be some street vendors and stuff too. And, it’s near you!”

She can’t get her hopes up. It sounds like a date. It can’t be, right? More importantly, why Kotone? Maybe she was just bored and exhausted all her options.

Yet, her heart betrays her anyway.

Kotone coughs, “Uh, yeah. Sure. Why not?”

There’s an audible cheer. “Yay!! Thank god you said yes.” Nien’s grin can practically be heard even though she isn’t right in front of her. “I’m on my way!! It’ll take maybe.. Hm.. If I walk faster, 15 minutes!”

“S-Sounds good! I’ll see you in 15 then?”

“Yep! Be there soon!”

The line clicks and she’s mortified. She has 15 minutes to get ready for this date–not date.

Kotone’s practically flying to clean up her desk and getting something decent on.

True to her word, Nien does come in 15 minutes. Thankfully, she narrowly avoided an overthinking spiral with her outfit. A longsleeve and jeans is totally acceptable!

This was a very casual hangout!

There’s a knock at the door that signals Nien’s arrival–and possibly Kotone’s death–that has her taking two deep breaths before she opens it.

Nien greets her with a bright smile. On one hand, Kotone was thankfully right in gauging how casual the outing was. The other girl is wearing a letterman jacket over a white shirt and the usual baggy jeans she sees her in. “Ready to go?”

On the other hand, it’s deeply unfair that Nien looks this good in a casual outfit. Or you’re just gay, a mental conjuring of Suyeon appears in her mind. Whatever. Okay. Maybe it’s both.

“Yeah, uh. I’m good to go.”

“So,” Nien starts, walking backwards as she talks to Kotone. “Did you have anything in particular you wanted to see?”

“Honestly? I wasn’t thinking of much besides the food and going on a walk. I think I needed the fresh air.”

“I get that. I was mostly thinking about the food too.”

“I’m more surprised that you ended up walking, I guess.” Kotone tries to crane her neck to the side to keep her eyes peeled for rocks or uneven patches of sidewalk..

“Driving is fun but I like walking around too. It’s a good way to clear your head. Plus, eating food with the people you care about makes the experience more enjoyable.”

Hm.

The two of them continue to chatter about everything and nothing as they get to the park and pass by food stalls. It’s nice to see how lively the area is with the nightmarket. Many people funnel in and out, some sit by the rivers, others are talking to the stall owners. Despite not living far from the area, Kotone had never thought to come here. It’s nicer than she imagined.

And, she can maybe admit that she quite enjoys how Nien takes her hand when she gets excited and drags her along to show something interesting to her. Likes the way Nien’s hands cover hers completely as they laugh and explore the market together.

The two of them finally settle down on one of the ledges by the river, chicken skewers and takoyaki in between them. It’s quieter here compared to the busy energy of the main nightmarket. A few people are still walking by but otherwise, the serenity of the area is perfect for sitting and relaxing.

“Can I try some of your takoyaki? You can have some of my skewers!” Nien pleads at her with puppy eyes. Kotone wants to laugh. She was going to give her some regardless but this was cute.

“Yeah, sure.” She picks up a piece with the two disposable wooden picks they got from the vendor. It hovers in the air for a moment as she realizes that there’s no extra plates or anything. “Oh uh–”

“It’s cool, don’t worry! I got this.” Nien just leans in and takes a bite from the picks, as if sensing the slight predicament. “Problem solved!” She grins, obviously chewing on the takoyaki in her mouth with renewed interest.

Kotone looks between the picks and the other girl with slightly widened eyes.

“This is really good, Tone!” There’s a skewer being outstretched towards her. Nien tilts her head and motions for her to take a bite.

Jeez. There was just no recovery time for any of this. Kotone feels like she got hit in the face. Regardless, she slowly leans over to take a bite off the skewer.

“It’s good.” Kotone finally says after she finishes chewing.

“I’m glad!”

The rest of the food ends up being quietly shared between the two of them.

When they were finished, Nien leans back, supporting herself with the palms of her hand against the concrete. Her sneakers adorably clack as she wiggles them and stares up at the sky.

Kotone’s takes the sight in. Breathes it in and tries to etch the image into her mind permanently.

It truly feels like a date–even though it isn’t. She knows it’s not. The question gnaws at her, spins around in her mind like some sort of annoying mosquito that keeps buzzing in her ear. The curiosity was getting the best of her.

“Hey, can I.. ask you something?” Kotone finally says, the remnants of their food having already been thrown away.

Nien turns to look and tilts her head. “What’s up?”

“I don’t mean this in a bad way. But, I’m just wondering why you asked me to hang out with you. You seem like you have a lot of friends so..”

“Oh! I was thinking about you.” She replies as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

Kotone has to try not to choke in front of her. Surely she doesn’t mean it like that.

“What about Seoyeon? You guys are always together.” They look like they’re together sometimes too with how often they try to kiss each other during practice but… anyway. Maybe that’s none of her business.

“Eh.. Seoyeon’s whatever. She’s probably busy.” Nien shrugs, “Again, I thought of you so I just figured I’d ask. But I probably would’ve just gone home if you said no.”

“Oh! Cool. Cool.” Kotone nods. “I was just curious.”

She’s so cool. Kotone’s the most cool person ever! So chill. Like a snowman, even. Everything’s great!

“What about you? I figured you might be busy too so..”

“Well.. I wasn’t really busy and I like hanging out with you.” She omits mentioning the part of her that knows even if she was busy, she’d make time for Nien.

“Hm. I guess that means we should hang out even more then!”

Kotone really shouldn’t be getting her hopes up. But how can she not when Nien implies that they could hang out again like this?

Eventually, they have to start heading back. The sound of shoes crunching against the pavement serves as one of the few sounds around them. It’s a stark contrast from the hustle and bustle of the nightmarket, only occasionally interrupted with sounds of nearby cars.

They walk side-by-side quietly. The cool air permeates through her long sleeves. Kotone tells herself that it’s just the breeze that makes goosebumps creep up her skin and not the way her hand occasionally brushes against a certain drummer’s as they walk.

“Are you cold?” Nien turns to look at her with a frown.

Just as Kotone is about to shake her head, a strong gust passes. Her body tenses before she can fully react. “...Maybe a little. I guess we should walk faster.”

And then, the scent of jasmine fills her senses. In a few swift movements, Nien shrugs her jacket off easily and moves forward to place it on her shoulders.

Kotone feels her heart hammer in her chest. Nien’s fingers wrap themselves around the collar of her jacket to adjust it onto her frame. It’s definitely oversized but she truly could care less about that.

Her legs feel like jello with the way Nien looks at her so delicately. Kotone feels her hands twitch. She wants to smooth out the worry on the taller girl’s eyebrows. Instead, she lets her hands ball into fists–fingernails digging crescents into her palm. Having Nien up this close to her has to be considered a health hazard.

Is it possible to have heart palpitations in your early 20s?

“Better?” It’s an uncharacteristically quiet question. A low rumble from Nien’s throat that sends a shiver down her spine despite all attempts to calm down.

“Yeah, thanks.” Her heart stutters in her chest. “But, what about you?”

Nien only flashes her teeth in a lop-sided grin before turning around and walking forward. “I’ll be fine! I can handle a bit of the cold if it means you’re not getting sick.”

What the.

Kotone pushes her legs forward to try and catch up with her steps. “I can’t just let you get sick either?”

Nien doesn’t say anything at first. She just offers a silly shrug. “Nah, I’m built different.”

… This girl.

A surge of fond annoyance washes over Kotone. It’s so incredibly selfless yet absolutely idiotic of her to be like this. She’d rather she get sick instead of her? It’s the type of move that Kotone knows she’ll think about for hours on end once she gets home.

Trying not to be swayed by her charming nature is so much harder with each silly moment like this. It’s almost annoying.

And, even with all five of her remaining braincells screaming at her to not do it, Kotone decides to be bold. She marches right up next to Nien and grabs her hand before shoving it into the pocket of her jacket.

She knows she’s blushing and doesn’t wait for a response as she interlocks their fingers in the pocket. She’s just praying that her hands aren’t sweaty. “At least one part of you has to stay warm.”

“Y’know, if you wanted to hold hands, you should’ve just said so!” Nien cheerfully replies, having overcome the initial shock and matching her steps with Kotone.

“That’s not what I– I didn’t–” She shakes her head, moving to change the subject instead. “I’m not letting you walk home either so I’m getting you an Uber.” Nien’s eyes comically widen. “What? No– I am not letting you pay for an overpriced driver. I have a car!”

“Is the car on the street with us right now?”

“Well– No.”

“Exactly.” Kotone huffs. “So, stop being stubborn.”

Despite Nien’s protests, Kotone does end up calling her an Uber when they get back to her apartment.

“You’re always telling me that you can’t let a pretty girl walk home by herself. So, since I can’t walk you back, I’m making sure you at least get home safe.”

“Awwww, Tone. You care!” Nien goes in for a hug and squeezes before Kotone even has the chance to register.

“...Shut up.” She mumbles, hoping that she doesn’t feel the way her heart accelerates at the contact. Kotone pats her back. “Just text me when you get home.”

Nien pulls two fingers up in a salute. “Aye Aye, Sergeant Tone!” There’s a wink being thrown her way as she watches the other get in the car. “I care about you too by the way. Hope you get some rest tonight and stay warm! Though, my jacket does look nice on you.”

Kotone’s left there to gape as the Uber drives off with her friend.

She trudges back into her apartment in a daze.

She thinks I look good in her jacket?

Kotone stares at herself in the mirror. The jacket really is a bit oversized. But it’s warm and smells like Nien. She plays their conversations back.

The memories flood back to her like a film reel. Her heart still pounds at just remembering the entire thing. The drummer quite literally plays with her heart like a damn grand piano without even realizing.

And the jacket. Kotone can still feel the lingering touch of holding hands in a shared pocket. She’s so dorky and stupid and kind; She’s about to rip her hair out.

Kamimoto Kotone is losing her damn mind all because she likes a girl.

Oh god. She likes her.

Kotone almost falls to her knees.

Of course, she already knew that. Realization had initially dawned on her ages ago. But tonight, it hits her like a ton of bricks again. She actually likes her.

In the midst of her distress, her phone pings with a message.

NIEN 🧡: just got back home. thanks for hanging out with me, pretty girl :)

Kotone almost throws her phone across the room.

She has to die.

Her classes let out a early today. She figured she could just heard to the studio anyway and lounge around in the front if anything.

There was a pleasant breeze that accompanied the bright sun today on her walk towards the studio. It was nice but ultimately, she’d rather not have to sweat outside if the studio has a perfectly good airconditioner anyway.

Kotone waves as she stops by Jiyeon by the front desk. She’s the friendliest staff member by far. Although all of them are nice, Jiyeon seems to be the one that’s closest in age to her. So, automatically, that makes her a bit more approachable.

“Hey Kotone. You’re early.”

“Classes got out early. Am I the first one..?”

“Ah,” Jiyeon shakes her head. “I’m pretty sure Nien is in there. The other group that made a reservation before you guys canceled last minute so I just told her she could go in. Seoyeon told me she might be a little late though.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you guys talked that much.”

Jiyeon pauses for a split second. “Yeah, normally Sohyun and Nakyoung are the ones that confirm the scheduling with me after you guys are done but Seoyeon’s been doing it more often these days.”

“Huh. I never noticed that.” She shrugs it off. Maybe she can take over some more things to help both of them. “I won’t keep you from doing your work though. See you later?”

She gets a nod in response. Jiyeon smiles at her and makes a gently shooing motion with her hands. “Yeah, good luck with practice today.”

After bidding her goodbyes to Jiyeon, Kotone heads for the practice room. Her equipment isn’t insured so she unfortunately does have to lug around her gig bag for the foreseeable future unless she decides to pay for insurance.

… she should probably get a job since she got lucky with her parents agreeing to pay for the apartment.

Regardless, she’s a bit more than excited to head in and set up the keyboard if it means not needing to carry it around for the few hours that they’ll be practicing.

Which is definitely why Kotone rushes in to unzip everything and set it on the stand. Definitely not because she also wants to see Nien. Totally.

The Japanese girl pushes through the door with her bags, spotting Nien already at her drumset and tries to wave at her.

… No response.

Kotone freezes when she realizes that Nien hasn’t noticed her. The taller girl has her headphones plugged in as she plays the electric drum set provided by the studio for people to use during practice. At least one of them doesn’t have to carry a huge bag around.

Nien’s hair is pulled into a high ponytail, and Kotone–god bless her heart–feels her entire face heat up when her eyes wander along the latter’s exposed arms. She needed to thank whoever told Nien to wear muscle tees more. Maybe there is an appeal to drummers.

Kotone quietly unzips her bag and sets up the keyboard as she keeps stealing glances.

Nien continues to play on, brows furrowed as she works through the song. Kotone watches in awe as she spins the drumsticks in her hand and continues through what looks like an intense chorus. It would be silly to look at from an outside point of view, seeing as she can’t hear the music. But, let’s be honest. No one’s listening to that damn song anyway.

Kotone swallows thickly. It has to be illegal to look this good while playing. Nien’s dedication and hard work have always been an admirable trait of hers.

Most people might assume she’s a bit of a slacker or doesn’t take things too seriously. Although, the exact opposite is true. Kotone has witnessed Nien’s work ethic firsthand. She’s received many texts and sleepy phone calls in the dead of night and heard off handed comments from Sohyun that she books extra days on her own in between dance practice days to keep up and pull ahead.

Hsu Nientzu is the epitome of working hard and playing hard.

She isn’t sure of exactly when these feelings came up, to begin with. Maybe it was the way she’d always send her silly stickers with dog videos in their KakaoTalk, or the way Nien always made sure to wait for her before leaving the studio, or the way Nien always found a way to maintain some kind of physical contact with her–all the hugging and handholding–it all feels like too much and yet not enough. Nien even takes her home when she doesn’t have to.

Reflecting back on their first interaction, maybe it’s always been that way from the start.

But hey, it’s impossible not to fall for the other girl. Nien’s bright energy is too infectious, and she’s much more charming than Kotone wants to admit.

Hsu Nientzu has found a way to twist, tangle, and weave through all her defenses.

Regardless, Kamimoto Kotone is sure of one thing: She’s completely and utterly screwed.

She doesn’t even realize how long she’s been staring until Nien’s eyes snap up to look at her.

Nien’s gaze softens, the corners of her mouth curving into a bright smile as she removes her headphones and sets her drumsticks down.

“Tone! I missed you!” Guh. Did she just get shot? Is it possible for a heart to start literally melting?

“I missed you too, I guess…“ She tries to play it off, jokingly crossing her arms in an attempt to be ‘nonchalant’. But all of that goes down the drain in approximately 2 seconds.

Any other words die in her throat as Nien approaches. She swears the other girl’s eyes glint mischievously before she lifts some of her shirt to wipe off some sweat on the side of her neck. It gives her a peek at Nien’s toned abs, and Kotone can feel her face burning as she tears her gaze away.

“Aw, really? Tone~” Nien singsongs, finally stopping right in front of her and forcing the shorter girl to look up.

“Were you here for a while? I’m sorry I didn’t see you sooner.”

“It’s fine. I wasn’t here for that long.” She mutters, turning to her keyboard and messing with the settings. “You looked really into your practice, so I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“Nah, you didn’t. You could never bother me. The others aren’t here yet?”

“Nope.” Kotone makes sure to pop the P, still pointedly not looking at Nien and praying her face doesn’t look as warm as it feels.

And then. Something, or rather, someone, pokes her cheek. “Woah, you’re really warm. Are you sick or something?” She delicately takes her hands up to cradle her face, her usual teasing replaced with something more careful–a moment of genuine concern washing over her features as she scans Kotone.

Hsu Nientzu was going to be the death of her.

Her eyes comically widen when she feels how close they are, once again doing everything but matching the other’s gaze, sputtering, “No- No. Seriously, I’m okay.”

Nien frowns, pulling her hands away slowly. “If you say so. Nakyoung unnie can be harsh, but I’m sure she’ll understand if you need to rest.”

“I’m okay. Promise.” Kotone finally steeled herself after a deep breath, moving to meet Nien’s gaze.

It almost feels like a mistake. She had momentarily forgotten their proximity. Her brain starts to go haywire at seeing Nien up close. They stare at each other for what feels like hours. The intense stare she receives makes her want to squirm.

Kotone feels her breath hitch when Nien is the first to break eye contact, curious eyes flitting down to her lips before meeting her gaze again with a blush. It’s almost as if she’s asking a question, head tilted slightly to the side.

God. Fuck it.

She gulps, only offering a quick nod before she overthinks it. Nien’s mouth curves up into a soft smile as she leans down, inching closer and closer.

Kotone isn’t sure whose breath is whose anymore. She can practically count every single eyelash on the other girl’s face. It’s right there. Tempting, beckoning her to move closer and closer. She’s almost helpless, being pulled endlessly into Nien’s gravity. Kotone’s breath hitches again when Nien’s hand gently holds the side of her face, thumb rubbing at her cheek.

Their noses brush, and her heart hammers even louder in her chest.

And then, the door flings open.

“Hey, guys–”

Kotone practically leaps away and narrowly avoids crashing into her long-forgotten keyboard. She steadies herself by placing her hands on the keys, shooting an uneasy smile in the direction of all-too-familiar voices.

Nien blinks for a split second, waving her hand at the rest of their members.

Seoyeon appears oblivious to their situation moments ago. Instead, peeking from behind Nakyoung only to move to Sohyun with a playful slap on the shoulder.

“I told you we should’ve hurried. We can’t let our youngest members get here and be ready before us.”

Sohyun chuckles, shooting Kotone and Nien a brief but knowing look with her hand still on the door handle. Fuck.

Kotone turns to look at an uncharacteristically quiet Nien, moving towards her drum set. The taller girl doesn’t look back, “Hey.. I’m the one that’s older by 2 months!! And we started this band together?!”

If she was affected by the events from earlier, she certainly didn’t show it. Instead, they seem to fall back into their usual play-fighting antics.

Seoyeon tries to bite Nien, who has her arms around the shorter girl, and attempts to kiss her cheek in response to the biting.

When Nien finally succeeds, Seoyeon pulls a face and rolls her eyes affectionately, shoving her away lightly.

“Did you guys know that Nien’s lips are super soft? Like seriously, I swear there aren’t any wrinkles. They’re kinda nice.” Seoyeon calls out to the three of them, earning another slap on her shoulder from the taller girl.

“What? Why are you asking us that?” Nakyoung looks at her incredulously from across the room, effectively interrupting her in the middle of twisting a tuning knob on her guitar, “Why do you know that?”

Seoyeon’s mouth opens and then closes. “I didn’t mean it weirdly! They’re just really soft and fun? I touched them during one of our sleepovers, and they’re just interesting.”

Nien squints at her, twisting her expression into a dramatically horrified one. “You.. You what..?”

“Woah, Seoyeon. I didn’t know it was like that.” Sohyun says, eyes slightly widened.

Nakyoung continues to stare.

“Hey… We’ve already talked about this. It’s not– That’s not– You guys are misunderstanding.” Seoyeon groans, putting her head in her hands, “It’s like how my cheeks are soft! Nien’s lips are soft!”

Nien slides up to Seoyeon again, pretending to whisper very loudly, “Hey.. that was our secret.. Why would you tell them? Don’t worry, I’ll kiss you more later, so you don’t have to do it while I’m asleep.”

“You prommy?”

“I prommy..”

The two stare at each other, and Seoyeon leans in with her lips puckered before pulling back with a cackle.

“Can you guys stop trying to get freaky in the middle of practice, PLEASE?” Nakyoung groans, having gone back to tuning her guitar, “One practice. Can we have ONE normal practice?”

At that moment, she realizes. It’s as if a metaphorical bucket of ice has been dropped on Kotone.

Was she almost a homewrecker? Scratch that. Is she a homewrecker?

Her mom raised her better than this! This was supposed to be a classy party!

Kotone wants to put her head into her hands, but that would be too obvious. Instead, she tries to muster up a small smile, hoping it doesn’t make her look too out of place.

She’d been suspecting that Seoyeon and Nien were together this whole time. And it feels even more real watching the two of them banter as Nien keeps trying to bite Seoyeon again.

She could’ve just ruined everything the band has worked towards. And, much worse, she could never do that to Seoyeon. They were friends. The guilt settles as a nauseating pit in her stomach, and Kotone has to look away.

Instead, she meets Sohyun’s curious eyes.

Maybe it’s better to prepare her sheet music.

She can’t just quit the band. Sohyun asked her for a favor and she promised to at least be there for the first show before deciding if she wanted to stay or not.

“Ooh.. you want me so bad.” Seoyeon says, finally finished plugging in her guitar and checking the tuning.

“You wish!!” Nien sticks her tongue out, taking hold of her drumsticks from the side.

Nakyoung finally sighs and shakes her head, trying to get the two bickering friends to stop arguing, “Alright, ALRIGHT. Seriously, Let’s get to practice. We got a long session coming.”

Kotone doesn’t let Nien take her home later that evening. The Japanese girl conjured up a half-hearted excuse about a study session and beelines to the nearest coffee shop across the street once she’s packed up. Tries to ignore the pit of guilt that returns when she remembers Nien deflating slightly at being rejected.

Running from her problems literally and metaphorically! Great.

Kotone slumps into one of the café’s booths with a sigh, iced coffee now on the table.

Technically, it wasn’t a complete lie. She did have work to do. There just.. wasn’t any friend there to meet up with her. And, for good measure, the booth had been the farthest from the windows and in the back.

She’s not going to think about it.

She’s thinking about it.

Kotone tries her absolute best to not think about it. She doesn’t need to be reminded of Nien’s breath fanning over hers, lips close enough that they’re almost touching. She thinks about the feeling of Nien’s hand on her cheek and still feels the way her thumb rubs against it.

Kotone slams her textbook closed in the middle of her philosophy class. Her classmates all side-eye her and there are a few whispers but nobody seems to care after a few minutes. Her ears are still burning as she keeps remembering the scenario with vivid detail. A selfish part of her still wanting it to have been real.

She needs to stop. There is a high chance that Seoyeon might her girlfriend. She can’t do that to her.

It feels deeply selfish of her to even have the smallest, tiniest, hope in the back of her mind that they might not be together.

Her gaze falls back to her notebook. Right. She should pay attention. Kotone grips her pen and tries to scribble down notes. What were they even learning about? Her professor drones on about ancient scholars and she scribbles in what she can make out. Mostly dates and whatever key points are highlighted on his powerpoint.

Kotone flips to the next page of the notebook and freezes. A bright orange sticky note with a heart stared right back at her. It must have fallen in there somehow when she left the notebook on her desk.

The guilt gnawed at her stomach once more. Nien had left her the usual dog videos as per usual but Kotone didn’t always have it in her to open them right away like she used to. When she does open them at a later time, the texts always come off stilted and awkward on her end.

Nien’s messages lack the excessive exclamations and emojis sometimes.

She feels bad.

Running from her problems was not a good thing. It wasn’t the healthy thing to do. And, yet, she finds herself making another excuse when Nien approaches her later that same day.

“Uh– Sorry. My friend and I are still studying for that.. Exam.” Kotone internally winces. She knew she wasn’t being convincing.

Nien’s face only falls for a moment, a small smile quickly plastering itself onto her face to hide palpable disappointment. “It’s alright, I hope you guys have a productive session! Maybe next time.”

“...Thanks.” Kotone has no idea when next time even will be. She has to get her feelings in check–tries to ignore the bitter taste in her mouth as she watches Nien jog back over to Seoyeon. After a quick chat, they leave together. It probably isn’t an off assumption that they are going to hang out instead.

She doesn’t even have any right to be upset at the situation. Actively avoiding the other girl is her own fault so missing her presence is completely ridiculous. She’s avoided her for two whole practices now, making this one the third.

Sohyun, ever perceptive, shoots her a look. It isn’t judging or as upset as she’d imagine. Just concerned. The older girl looks like she wants to say something but gets too engrossed with her conversation with Nakyoung. It gives her just enough time to sneak off while the two them discuss band related logistics and what sounds like the drafts for another song.

Thank god.

Kotone isn’t sure she can handle talking about it with Sohyun just yet.

So, she calls up the unfortunate next best option.

“Hey, Unnie… are you busy?”

“So, I’m just gonna flat out ask,” Suyeon sighs, gesturing to Kotone with the flail of her right hand, “Is there a particular reason as to why you look like you’re a kicked, sopping wet puppy in a tattered cardboard box with shitty illegible sharpie writing that I happened to find on my doorstep?”

Kotone slumps even further into her chair and lets her head dramatically hit the table. Her cheek presses up against the cold glass. “Is it that obvious?”

“I love you, I promise. But this is just really sad. I feel like I need to send you a care package like we’re supposed to be in your apartment eating tubs of ice cream right now.”

The Japanese girl groans even louder. “Unnie. I like a girl. And it’s very possible that one of my friends is her girlfriend. This is terrible. Awful. I need to change my name and flee the country. I feel like a homewrecker.”

“Woah. Woah. First of all, you can’t just flee the country. Who else am I supposed to annoy when dance makes me want to rip my hair out?” Kotone feels a hand patting her on the head, “Second of all, we don’t talk for a couple weeks and I swear you get a new adventure of the day. What do you mean you feel like a homewrecker?”

Oh boy.

Kotone watches her friend practically go through the 5 stages of grief as she details everything to her.

“Kotone. What the actual fuck?” The coffee in front of her had gone completely cold. Suyeon gapes at her.

‘’Yep…” She musters up a weak smile. “So, she probably has a girlfriend. Which totally makes me a terrible person.”

“Do you want the honest serious answer from me or is this a situation where I actually should go out and get you some ice cream?”

“Serious answer..” She’s been driving herself crazy for the past few days. It’s probably better to get an actual opinion that comes from someone who isn’t the voices in her head. “Can we get ice cream after anyway though?”

“Yeah, yeah. Of course.” Suyeon inhales, stirs the–now cold–coffee and shakes her head. “Honestly, you yourself aren’t sure that they’re dating.”

“But they literally hit on each other at any given moment??”

“First off, I know Nien. Maybe not for that long but she seems like a nice girl and if she doesn’t like you then she’s totally leading you on.” A beat. “Which would be totally fucked up so I’m just going to move forward thinking that this isn’t the case.”

God. That would suck.

“So, and I don’t even mean this in the way that I want to fuel your delusions, is there any plausible, actual, reason for you to think that they’re together?” Kotone sighs as her mind replays all the times Seoyeon and Nien have tried to hit on each other during practice. “They literally have talked about kissing each other and Seoyeon said here lips were soft. What else am I supposed to think?”

“...Maybe they’re really good friends having fun?”

“Well. They are childhood friends from what I’ve heard but you can’t deny that it sounds a little suspicious.”

…

“Exactly!!” Kotone throws her hands up in despair, “I can’t believe I did this to myself. Not only am I possibly a mistress, I’m also pining for a girl that doesn’t like me back? I’m gonna have to become an old cat woman.”

Suyeon flicks her forehead, “Get your head out of your ass.”

“OW.” She pouts, rubbing at her forehead. “What was that supposed to be for?”

“The Kotone I know is a very kind and cute person that anyone would be lucky to have. You’re super smart and I swear you’re the one person I can hit up whenever and not be worried about being real with. You have to give yourself more credit here.”

“But what if she thinks we’re just friends? Then I’ll have to quit the band and die of embarrassment!”

“Girl. she drives you home even though she doesn’t have to, texts you all the damn time, asks you to hang out one-on-one, gives you her jacket…. ” It’s Suyeon’s turn to groan, “That is gay. Didn’t you say she told you it looked nice on you? Has she even asked for it back?”

Kotone chews on her lower lip as her mind flashes back to Nien’s jacket–it’s still hanging on the seat of her chair for her desk. “...No.”

“SEE??”

“I don’t wanna get my hopes up!”

Suyeon finishes the rest of her drink and throws her an unamused look. “Okay. Okay. Fine. Can you at least just consider that maybe if you talked to her, you might have more clarity on this?”

“But–” Suyeon raises up her hand jokingly to lightly smack the back of her head as she drags Kotone to stand, “OWWWW, okay. Okay! Fine! Jeez. I’m getting attacked here.”

“You asked for a real answer! I wasn’t going to lie,” Suyeon drags her out of the cafe, “Besides, I said I was gonna get you ice cream so let’s go.”

Kotone trudges side-by-side with Suyeon after she lets go.

“Nien is one lucky girl though. You’re down horrendous.” She makes sure to add as she pats her shoulder.

“Unnie..” There’s a whine that escapes as she covers her face with one hand.

“I’m serious! You’ve been like this about her from the moment you guys bumped into each other at our practice. Which means,” Suyeon gives her a squeeze, “You have to thank me if this ends up being successful!”

“Ha. Ha.” Kotone deadpans, shooting her a look.

Despite their banter, she does feel better. Talking things out like this with Suyeon did help lighten her mood. Her friend’s words still haunt her even after they finish their ice cream and part ways. Would Nien even want to talk to her even though she’s ignored her for 3 days in a row now?

Kotone’s eyes land on the jacket still hanging from her chair, sleeves dangling slightly. Nien’s always been considerate of her, even in moments where she doesn’t have to. She hasn’t commented on the break in their routine at all in her texts and is still just as enthusiastic for the most part.

Will talking about it even make that much of a difference? Suyeon says she has a chance but what if she’s wrong? What if it shatters this perfectly woven spiderweb that they’ve tangled themselves into?

She closes her eyes. She really, really wishes things didn’t have to be so complicated. Whatever. She promised Suyeon so at least she gave it some thought but she still isn’t convinced.

Maybe she should just sleep on it.

“We don’t need adult supervision! We’re adults! We can get snacks on our own.” Nien complains, crossing her arms with a pout.

“I am, I dunno about you.” Seoyeon teases, poking at Nien’s crossed arms.

“HEYYY, WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?” Sohyun casts an empathetic look towards Nakyoung, who has probably sighed for the umpteenth time. She wordlessly separates them and drags them out. They just proved her point.

The room is filled with a thick silence as the door shuts behind the three of them—leaving Kotone alone with Sohyun.

She feels a strange sense of dread at the prospect. She’s worked with Sohyun before. Being alone together was the standard if they met up to work on music. Her hands move on their own, ruffling through papers to try and look busy.

And then, Sohyun turns to look at Kotone, “Those two are always a handful, huh.” It’s a quiet and calculated sentence, a wordless invitation for the other girl to go on if she wants to.

Kotone knows that. She’s worked with Sohyun for projects enough times to know that the older girl is giving her an out.

“Yeah. Guess so. They’ve always been.. close.” The keyboardist tries not to sound too dejected. That bitter taste is back in her mouth again.

Sohyun places a hand on her shoulder at the comment, giving a few pats. “I know that you know I saw so.. All I have to say is that you’ll never know if you don’t ask.”

Sohyun doesn’t get it. She could probably get any girl she wanted with how cool and nice she is. Her fists clench as she shrugs her hand off.

“Right, unnie. Because I can totally just ask someone with a girlfriend what we are after almost kissing. That’s definitely not a recipe for absolute disaster.” Kotone regrets the words that come out of her mouth instantly. Sohyun was just trying to help. She shouldn’t be mean.

“I’m sorry–” Sohyun laughs, shaking her head. “You think Seoyeon and Nien are dating?”

“Well. What else was I supposed to think? They try to kiss each other every other practice?”

“...Maybe it’s easier if I just show you.” Sohyun gestures for Kotone to follow her.

They push through the studio doors and back towards the front desk. Sohyun stops them when they peek out from the side.

“Unnie, what does this have to do with–”

“Just. Trust me, okay?” Sohyun silences her, tilting her head toward the front desk.

Kotone follows her gaze, landing on Seoyeon and Jiyeon talking. The staff member talks animatedly, smiling brightly at their lead guitarist and lightly gripping her arm.

She watches as Seoyeon’s cheeks are dusted light pink at the action. Hilariously, she could even hear her friend’s stuttering mid-answer, which was met with a fit of giggles from Jiyeon.

“Seoyeon, you’re so funny.” She can see Jiyeon twirling her hair from behind the front desk.

“You think so?” Seoyeon’s eyes are slightly widened, an awkward smile on her face.

“Mhm. I always enjoy hearing the stories you tell me. I think I could listen to you all day.”

“Ah, well. I should maybe call you more often then.” Kotone almost snorts at the way Seoyeon’s hand flies to the back of her neck and rubs at the skin there.

“It’s a good thing you already have my number then.”

It’s almost strange watching Seoyeon be so awkward. She’s normally much more confident and much louder in her eyes. Yoon Seoyeon looks like she’s reduced to a stuttering mess in front of a cute girl.

From the corner of her eye, Kotone catches a glimpse of Nien and Nakyoung watching far off to the side in the snacks section, whispering something to each other. Nien and Nakyoung keep looking at Seoyeon and Jiyeon before seemingly shaking hands.

No way.

That means Suyeon might actually be right. She might have an actual chance here.

Kotone looked back at Sohyun, who was watching her with a slightly amused face. “…Sorry for getting mad at you.”

Sohyun shakes her head, “It’s alright. I think I’ve just known those two for too long. It might not be as obvious. But I know you didn’t mean it. I’m sorry for laughing. It was just a little silly that you tease us about our love lives, and yet…”

“..I’m oblivious when it comes to myself.” Kotone deflates as they return, earning an affectionate hair ruffle from Sohyun.

“It happens to the best of us.”

“… So, anything going on in your love life that you wanna talk about?"

Sohyun pointedly looks away and stares at one of the decorative paintings on the wall like it’s the most interesting thing in the world.

Gasp. “So there is something!”

“It’s nothing serious.” She mumbles, “I liked it better when we were discussing you and Nien almost making out.”

Kotone sputters indignantly, lightly slapping Sohyun’s arm. “You’re totally dodging my question! And we didn’t– I was trying not to think about it. And you saying it just make it more— more—“

“Real?”

Kotone only manages a nod, fanning her face with her right hand as they settle back to their respective places.

“Things being real can be scary,” Sohyun starts, picking up her bass. “But doesn’t some part of you still hope that it is? That you want it to be real?”

She muses, picking at strings to check the tuning. “But, if you don’t take the chance. You’ll only be left with what-ifs. Easier said than done, of course. I guess the question is, do you want Nien to be just another what-if in your life?”

First Suyeon and now Sohyun? It seems like everyone keeps telling her to shoot her shot somehow. It’s terrifying. It’s terrifying that they’re both right. She wants it to be real. But, being real also means that there’s also a very real chance that she’s decided to dive head first into this entire situation and there won’t be anything to catch her when her heart shatters against the pavement like glass. Kotone could have to pick up all the pieces and be left out to bleed.

But if she doesn’t say something, then it’ll just stay as another branch into a different possibility. Unexplored. Unknown. There won’t be an answer.

There’s no time for Kotone to respond as Nien bursts through the door with Nakyoung and Seoyeon in tow. “We’re back!!!”

The room seems to brighten now that she’s returned.

Nien is practically beaming as she meets Kotone’s eyes, her smile getting even brighter when she smiles back slightly.

The same giddy, warm feeling fills her chest once more as she watches her talk animatedly with the rest of their members. Just the sound of Nien talking in the background is enough to evoke a sense of peace.

Kotone isn’t sure she can handle Hsu Nientzu being another what-if in her life.

“So.. any chance you’re not busy today?” Nien slides up to her with her hands behind her back.

Kotone turns to look at the other girl with a deep breath. She’d already decided that she’d talk to her today.

“Uh, yeah. Schedule’s all free.”

“Cool! Cool. Uh,” The taller girl moves her hands forward, stretching lightly and glancing to the side. “Mind if I take you home then?” Kotone watches as Nien shoots her a smile, the corners of her mouth instinctively curling up in response.

“Yeah–” Kotone’s voice cracks. And she can feel Sohyun staring at her. Good god. “Yeah, that’d be really nice, actually.”

Nien brightens once more, buzzing with energy as per usual. “Great! I got more snacks that I think you might like.”

Her heart swells as she starts to pack up faster, eager to spend more time with Nien now that practice is over.

Thankfully, it doesn’t take too long to pack up. Kotone walked with Nien to the parking lot with her hands in her pockets since their drummer had insisted on carrying her bags. At least this studio had some in-house kits, so Nien didn’t have to take too much of her own things.

When they finally reach the car, they suddenly stop.

“Wait there! Don’t move!” Nien splays her hands out in front of her, effectively halting Kotone in her tracks as she races to the back and carefully puts everything in the trunk. It slams shut, and suddenly, Nien is back in front of her.

She opens the passenger car door for her with a silly grin and bow, “Ladies first?”

A blush works its way up her neck and heats her cheeks as she rolls her eyes, “You’re a dork.”

“It’s only for you!” Nien only seems to take pride in the comment, closing the door once Kotone is inside and hopping into the driver’s seat on the other side.

There’s a comfortable silence as she begins to drive, having memorized Kotone’s address by now. They always took a bit of a longer route to chat. Although, not much is said this time around as Nien lets her take the aux.

Their curated playlist fills the car as Nien drives. Kotone tries not to stare. She should probably gather all of her thoughts.

———————————

“Soooo, did your study session work out?” Nien asks as they walk towards Kotone’s apartment door with her bags.

The comment about the study session brings back the pit of nervousness she felt beforehand. Right. This wasn’t part of the plan, but Hsu Nientzu has always had a way of ripping through all her plans. “Well,” Kotone starts, chewing on her bottom lip, “Come inside first? I wanted to talk about that with you.”

Kotone can see how Nien’s brows furrow, but she nods regardless, fishing out her car keys to lock the vehicle with a click before following her into the apartment.

Thankfully, it isn’t as messy as she remembers leaving it. Some instant noodle cups get thrown into the trash; otherwise, it’s clean.

Kotone’s quick to grab a few water bottles to set on the table in front of them as they get comfortable on the couch.

“Is everything okay? Do we need to kill your study partner? We can totally beat them up for bailing.”

“What? That’s– No, that’s not what I meant.” Kotone waves her hands in front of her. With how concerned Nien looked, it made her guilt amplify tenfold. “There actually.. Wasn’t any study session.” Nien tilts her head.

“I.. lied. I was trying to avoid you because of really stupid reasons and I’m really really sorry. You didn’t do anything, it was all me. Seriously.”

Kotone frowns, fully expecting the other girl to be mad or upset or just offended.

“...I sort of figured.” Nien rubs at the nape of her neck, “When you lie, you do this thing where you start to tug at your sleeves or your collar and look off to the side. It’s cute! And, I’m sure you have your reasons, but I promise I’m not mad. I just thought you might’ve had something going on.” Whew.

“But, uh. If it’s ‘cause of the other day and I made you uncomfortable– It’s cool if you don’t wanna talk about it, I’m just..” The drummer starts to ramble, making box-like gestures with her hands.

Kotone reaches out, gently taking one of Nien’s hands. She can feel how they tremble slightly, breaking her heart. Getting caught up in the whirlwind of her emotions, she failed to consider that Nien might be just as nervous–maybe even more so.

Sohyun said she’d never know if she never asked. Maybe it was her turn to initiate something.

“It does.. have to do with the kiss but,” Inhale. Exhale. “I thought I was getting in between you and.. Seoyeon unnie. I thought you two might have been together and felt awful. I realize now that I completely misunderstood, but then I just felt bad. I lied to you. I avoided you. I thought that it was safer that way.”

“But–” Kotone squeezes Nien’s hands, “Running from the truth doesn’t mean it isn’t real. Nien, I like you. As in, I have feelings for you. I like you so much that I think my heart might explode when you smile at me.”

Kotone makes sure to look up, “I like you. I like you so much. It hurts not to tell you.”

Nien’s eyes soften, staring back at Kotone with so much warmth that she feels herself melting.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, I just– I had to tell you– I couldn’t take it anymore because when you look at me like that, I.. I don’t know what to do. So, it’s really okay if you don’t like me like that, and I completely unders–”

It all happens so fast that she has no time to react. A sudden movement cuts off Kotone’s rambling. The words die in her throat at a soft sensation against her lips.

She feels her brain go haywire, electricity zipping through her body at the contact. Hsu Nientzu is kissing her. On her couch. In her apartment. On the lips.

What. The. Fuck.

With the lack of a response, Nien pulls back quickly in a panic.

“Sorry, was that too..? I just thought— Seoyeon and I aren’t dating, we just–“

Kotone doesn’t think twice and smiles as she pulls Nien back into the kiss, lightly tugging her forward with her hand on the older’s nape.

The sensation makes her feel like she’s soaring. An indescribable warmth blooms in her chest as their lips connect over and over again. Nien pulls the other girl to move onto her lap, resting her hands on her hips as Kotone moves to tangle her hands into the silky tresses of her hair.

When they unfortunately pull back for air, Kotone pauses to refill her oxygen-deprived lungs. Her arms rest on Nien’s shoulders as she untangles her hands.

She looks down at their position, trying (and miserably failing) to fight off the blush that creeps up her neck and onto her face. It doesn’t help that Nien is still staring at her.

“That was… nice.”

“Mm.. Mhm..” Nien barely responds, trying to blink off the dazed look in her eyes as she swallows.

“Yeah. Um. You’re really—“ Kotone tries to speak again, but the hands on her hips squeeze lightly as Nien looks up at her. The words fizzle out like the last bits of a sparkler.

A jolt of electricity zips up her spine once more with Nien’s thumbs starting to rub light circles into her skin. She can’t tell if it’s a blessing or a curse that she went with a crop top today.

Kotone somehow blushes even more when she watches Nien’s eyes flicker back down to her lips and back up again; they’re almost pleading. Are her ears burning?

“Sorry, I can’t think.. you’re so damn pretty.” Nien mutters, scanning across Kotone’s face as if she were trying to memorize every detail.

“Can I kiss you again? Please?” It’s almost a whisper with how quiet she’s being. It’s hard to believe this is the same girl whose voice could carry throughout a room without a microphone. Warm brown eyes plead with her, slightly dilated and searching for any sign of apprehension.

The direct request has Kotone melting all over again. If she had been standing, she’s sure that her legs would be jello right about now.

When she nods and leans closer again, Nien breaks out into a grin as they meet halfway. The taller girl kisses her, and she can feel the adoration with every press of their lips. Hsu Nientzu kisses her like she’s the only girl in the world–with a gentleness that makes her heart soar with affection as she kisses her back.

Nien’s mouth eventually retracts slightly, pressing feather-like kisses all over Kotone’s face and getting light giggles in response. “If it wasn’t obvious,” Nien starts, still lightly panting as she presses their foreheads together,, “I really, really like you too.”

Kotone isn’t sure how much more her heart can take.

“Are you trying to kill me right now?” she releases a breathless laugh, moving to cradle Nien’s face gently in her hands. She feels herself falling even harder at the way the other girl’s leans into her touch.

“Not really. Please don’t die. Who else am I gonna bother with snacks on the way home?”

“Fine, fine. I’m not dying but if you’re trying to give me some heart problems, it’s working.” She chuckles, moving to take one of Nien’s hands and place it over her heart instead.

With the way Nien’s eyes widen, it’s obvious that she can feel the way Kotone’s heart pounds. She gets a front-row seat to watch a blush creep up Nien’s neck and blossom on her cheeks.

“Cute.” She mutters, trying not to laugh more when the blush darkens.

“Heyyy,” Nien huffs, “Are you teasing me?”

“Only a little bit! You’re really cute, and I meant it so…” Kotone has to lightly bite her lip to prevent herself from smiling so much. Her cheeks hurt. “Consider it payback for doing the same to me.”

Nien removes her hands from where Kotone has placed them, instead choosing to interlock their hands and rest them on their laps.

The drummer still has to look up to see Kotone on her lap. The position seems to amplify the pleading look in her eyes as she squeezes their hands.

“Are you upset that I’m teasing you?” Nien reminds her of a cute puppy while she wordlessly pouts. Kotone’s heart aches.

“Aw. I’m sorry, baby.” the pet name slips instinctively after she quickly kisses Nien’s cheek. “Better?”

Nien gapes at her, mouth comically opening and closing like a fish as Kotone tilts her head.

“What’s wro— oh.” Oh. They hadn’t even talked about what happened. And she just— “Was that too much? I’m really sorry if it was, I just..”

“Nonono-“ Nien frantically shakes her head, squeezing at Kotone’s hands to try and get the younger girl to look at her again. “I— Um. Really liked it, actually.”

Her voice slowly loses volume as she tapers off, the blush showing no signs of leaving. “If anything, can you… do it again?”

Kotone feels her face heating up.

“S-Sure.”

…

…

…

They can’t look at each other now that they’re both blushing.

“So—“

“Um—“

They both awkwardly laugh as they interrupt each other.

“You go first,” Kotone wills herself not to look away.

“Sure— Uh. Seoyeon and I aren’t dating. We’re just joking. She’s definitely not into me. And I’m not into her. So,” A pause, “Would you want to go on a date sometime? Like a real one, as girlfriends.” Nien asks, playing with Kotone’s fingers and giving them a light squeeze.

The question shouldn’t be surprising. They literally just kissed on her couch. She was going to ask her something similar. And yet, Kotone finds herself taken aback. The keyboard player tries to keep her composure and not rip her gaze away in embarrassment.

“You’re an idiot,” She mumbles, trying to fight off how her blush darkens, “Of course, I wanna go on a date with you as your girlfriend. We just made out on my couch?? And I would hope you guys aren’t dating, I spent way too much time thinking about if I was a homewrecker or not.” A shudder.

“I still had to ask!”

“Well, the answer is yes.” Kotone rolls her eyes affectionately. Her girlfriend (her girlfriend!!) was too cute for her own good.

Nien makes a happy noise at her response, affectionately moving to poke her nose with her own before pulling back with a smile.

“Then, I’m all yours. I think I have been for a while, but now it’s official.”

This girl was going to be the death of her.

Kotone has no idea how Nien manages to say that so casually while she’s in her lap.

Good god.

“I’m all yours too.” She whispers, unable to help herself from leaning down and pressing another kiss onto Nien’s lips. Once again, she’s been pulled into her orbit, gravitating towards her like she needs air to breathe.

Seoyeon was right. Nien’s lips are soft. And now, she’s not sure she can ever get enough.

Their lips meet tenderly, moving against one another in a slow push and pull. It was warm and soft, making the butterflies in Kotone’s stomach churn. She can smell jasmine shampoo and taste the lingering remnants of vanilla chapstick. It’s almost intoxicating.

It has both of them giggling as they pull away. Nien leans in to press a few more quick, affectionate pecks before stopping completely.

“Hi..” Kotone beams at her, breathless, “Come here often?”

Nien cannot stop herself from smiling back, “No, but I think I should. Pretty sure my girlfriend visits a lot.”

“Oh, really?” A giddy emotion works its way through her again. Girlfriend. She really could get used to that.

“Yeah. She’s smart and funny and absolutely stunning,” Kotone adjusts herself to turn around and lean back as Nien wraps her arms around her. “Amazing with playing the keyboard,” Kotone feels her breath against her ear, “And, I really like her.”

“Well, I’m sure she really likes you too.” She’s almost afraid that the thundering in her chest would never disappear. Not that she minds.

They stay like that for a while, basking in each other’s warmth by changing positions again to cuddle on the couch instead.

Unsurprisingly, it turns out that Nien is a cuddler.

Kotone is more than happy to be swallowed in her embrace as they watch some cartoon movie. Nien hums as she traces her index finger along the exposed parts of the tattoo on the top of her right shoulder.

The safest place might just be right here in her girlfriend’s (her girlfriend!!) arms.

“When did you end up getting this?” Nien finally asks, drawing her attention away from the cartoons on the screen.

“Oh, that?” Kotone turns her head to try to look at her. “Some time after I turned 18. It didn’t hurt too bad. It kind of tickled, actually.”

Nien gapes at her. “Wait, seriously? I’m sure this thing is a lot bigger than what I can see from here.” She’s poking at the lines curiously.

“It’s not that big..” Kotone laughs, wriggling out of Nien’s grip to turn and face her. She tugs on the right side of her shirt to expose the rest of the tattoo, holding the fabric down just enough to show her the skin around her collarbone.

“See, it’s really not much. I thought the wildflowers were pretty.” Kotone says as she looks down at the wildflowers on her skin, starting from where her neck meets her shoulder and moving across towards her arm before going down to loop underneath her collarbone. She pulls her hair to one side, trying to give a better view.

“Yeah, pretty.” Nien’s throat bobs.

“Thanks. It was kinda impulsive, though. I was thinking of doing a whole back tattoo at first, but multiple sessions… hours of sitting… I didn’t feel like it.”

Kotone looks up when there’s no response. All she can see is Nien is still gaping at her, eyes flickering between the tattoo and her face.

“Is.. something up?”

“No, No—“ Nien frantically shakes her head, seemingly snapping out of it. The recovery is quick enough as she’s already smiling at her again. “Sorry, you’re just gorgeous. I keep getting distracted. Promise I was listening, though.”

Oh.

“Thank you…” Kotone feels her cheeks heat up for the millionth time today. “T-The same could be said for you! Of course.”

Nien keeps grinning back at her. And out of pure embarrassment, Kotone… throws one of the decorative couch pillows at her and tries to wriggle away.

“Wh—“ Nien sputters, looking down at the pillow and then back at Kotone. “Oh, I gotta get you back now.”

“HEY… hey.. we can talk about thi—“

Kotone shrieks as Nien semi-tackles her back into the couch, lightly bopping her on the head with it a few times and moving to tickle her sides.

“ACK— NIEN.” Kotone wheezes, tears forming in her eyes as she writhes and laughs underneath her. She squirms at the fingers tickling her ribs, trying not to accidentally smack Nien too hard.

“I told you I was gonna get you back!” Nien laughs along with her, the sound echoing through the apartment as she still playfully maintains her movements for a bit longer.

“I’M SORRY. I’M SORRY,” She laughs, gasping for air when Nien stops, letting herself flop on top of Kotone with a grin.

“I win!”

Kotone’s arm naturally wraps around Nien, keeping her close. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. You win.” She lightheartedly rolls her eyes, feeling the taller girl bury her face into the side of her neck with a smile.

Kotone hopes Nien doesn’t mind how fast her heart is pounding. She’ll probably be her biggest weakness. Her caving point, her achilles heel and her grounding force.

Hsu Nientzu feels like home, like fresh food and late night walks. She sees her in drives home and the sunsets that burst through her bedroom windows and give the surrounding walls color.

It’s strange to feel so at ease with someone so quickly–exhilirating, and almost downright terrifying. Kotone will give her heart no matter how fragile it may be.

“You guys are on in ten minutes!” One of the backstage staff members calls out to them.

It’s a mess. The five of them were gathered up and getting ready to go, doing last minute check-ins before Nakyoung let out a groan.

“What happened?” Sohyun appeared right behind their leader, trying to look over her shoulder at the paper in her hands.

“We forgot one of the most important things.” Nakyoung pinches the bridge of her nose, looking at the four of them.

“We fucking forgot to make a band name.”

. . .

What.

A collective silence falls between the five of them.

Kotone blinks. “I thought you guys already decided on that before I joined..?”

Seoyeon shakes her head. “No.. We uh, kept putting it off because we couldn’t find anything that stuck.”

“I GOT IT.” Nien, who had been uncharacteristically quiet, suddenly shouts. “We’re.. Acid Angels from Asia.”

Kotone isn’t sure what she expected her girlfriend to say but it was so ridiculous that she can’t help but smile fondly.

“Bro.. stop, I could kiss you for that.” Seoyeon turns to her best friend, “No homo though. Of course. Unless…? Nah, I’m kidding.” She winks at Kotone.

“Woah, buddy.” The keyboardist shoots a playful glare at Seoyeon, “You had your chance. That’s my girlfriend.”

“I mean hey, we could always technically be a quadruple.” Nien jokes, locking arms with Kotone. “It would be you, me, Seoyeon, and Ji–”

Seoyeon slaps a hand over Nien’s mouth to stop her. She regrets it instantly because she pulls her hand back in disgust after 2 seconds.

“DID YOU JUST LICK ME?”

Nien just grins. “What? I thought you were into that?”

“I mean…”

Sohyun blinks once. “A quadruple??? Why don’t you guys just say poly–”

Ever since Seoyeon had found out about her and Nien, she finds that she actually doesn’t mind Seoyeon or Nien’s antics as much. Especially considering that Nien had confirmed that they’re just friends. Although she apologized profusely to Seoyeon for being a little bitter, playing along now feels like the best way to show that she is over it. Plus, it’s funny. She can see why Sohyun does it from time to time.

“Enough.” Nakyoung, on the other hand, is not amused. “What the.. Acid Angels from Asia?? What kind of fucking name is that?”

“Hey, it came to me just now in a vision,” Nien throws her hands up, “don’t shoot the messenger!”

“I dunno, Naky. I kinda like it.. Makes us sound mysterious.” Sohyun pipes up, putting her head down on their leader’s shoulder. Kotone finds it a little entertaining that she’s trying to be cute to get her to relax.

“Look at us, Sohyun. Do we look mysterious?”

Nien’s look matched more of what she would wear for practices– so, baggy jeans and her usual muscle tees.

Seoyeon’s opted for a striped long sleeve and shorts. Honestly, she looks fine standing next to Nien.

Meanwhile, Sohyun wears a white tee-shirt with a jean jacket and black pants.

Nakyoung stares down at her own white longsleeve and tie paired with a black skirt.

And Kotone… no one told her there was a specific dress code. She’s just in a simple sweater vest combo with pants.

Definitely not mysterious. Maybe a little unorganized.

“You guys are up in 5 minutes!”

“Fuck. Fine.” Nakyoung groans, throwing her hands up and letting them hit her sides– though she’s careful not to hit Sohyun. “We’re Acid Angels from Asia.”

“Heh. I guess you could say we’re gonna get in the zone now?” Nien laughs to herself, nudging Seoyeon’s shoulder.

Kotone snorts. That was awful.

Surprisingly, Nakyoung laughs. It’s so foreign that everyone pauses to look at their leader in shock.

“Naky.. Naky just laughed guys.” Seoyeon says slowly, eyes widened.

“I didn’t know she could do that..” Nien teases, a goofy smile working its way up.

Sohyun grins, “You should do this more often.”

“Okay. fun’s over. The one time I laugh…” Nakyoung’s face falls back into the usual deadpan unamusement. It’s funny that she tries to be serious when everyone knows that she isn’t underneath the facade. “Let’s just get on the stage, I’m tired of you guys.” She pushes past all of them after Sohyun lifts her head and heads for the stairs.

“You love us!!” Seoyeon yells back.

Kotone looks at her bandmates fondly. Who would’ve thought they’d come this far? She’s gotten used to the group’s antics. It’s hard to imagine what her life would be like without everyone here.

.

.

.

“Zonebar, are you ready?” Nakyoung asks the crowd once they finish set up, receiving a few whoops in response.

Kotone casts one look back at Nien to find the other girl already looking at her.

No matter what the outcome was, she already had her choice. She’d stay with the band for as long as they’d have her.

“Thank you for having us today. We’re.. Acid Angels from Asia and this is our song, Rock Bottom.”