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Alan Virdon rubbed his chin and thought for a moment. “Air conditioning.”
His colleague Peter Burke nodded and smiled. “Good one,” he replied and then added, “Memory foam mattresses.”
“An ice-cold beer in a frosted glass.”
Burke ran his fingers through his dark hair and licked his lips as if he could taste the words his friend had just uttered. “Toothpaste.”
Their chimpanzee companion Galen could not keep quiet any longer and interjected, “I do not understand-”
“Quiet, Galen,” Virdon said, though not in a hard way. “It’s my turn.” He looked to the sky and squinted, deep in thought again.
The trio was sitting at the edge of a forest, relaxing and enjoying the beautiful autumn day. On a recent trip into a nearby village for supplies, Galen had heard that their gorilla pursuers were far from them following a false trail. They were safe from capture--for now--and could stop for a few days to rest.
The fruit they were eating was juicy and sweet and the water from the nearby brook was cold and refreshing. It was exactly the kind of day that led naturally to a well-loved game the two humans often played.
“Chocolate,” Virdon finally said then, pointing to his friend, quickly added, “Dark chocolate.”
Peter Burke grinned. Not because Virdon was trying to win based on Burke’s well-known love of dark chocolate. No, he grinned because he knew he had the winning answer and let the silence extend as he waited to deliver his coup de grace. “Two. Ply. Toilet. Paper.”
Virdon brought a fist to the center of his chest as if shot by an arrow and fell over. Burke laughed out loud and then Virdon did too. In the peals of giggles, Virdon managed to get out, “OK. You win this round.”
Galen, who was not laughing, instead shook his head and said again, “I don’t understand this game. You go back and forth naming things that I’ve never heard of and then at some point, one of you is declared a winner.”
“I’ve told you before,” Virdon said sitting up and smiling, “these are everyday things that we took for granted in our time and we try to see who can come up with the one we miss the most.”
“But what is ‘memory foam toilet paper?’” Galen asked, tilting his head to one side.
At that, the two men collapsed into laughter again. After a minute or two, the two sat up and looked at their very confused ape friend. “Galen, it’s not…,” Burke started before stopping mid-sentence. The smile faded from his face as he stared over Galen’s shoulder to a hilltop in the distance. Virdon followed his gaze and Galen turned around to see what they were looking at.
There was a communication stand on that hilltop and a gorilla soldier was standing by the silver-lined dish, using the reflected sun to send a coded message to a distant relay station. “It must be a soldier,” Galen was thinking out loud, “no one else is allowed to use those.”
He watched the message to its completion, mentally translating it.
“What is he saying?” Burke asked.
Galen paused for a moment and then said, “My familiarity with that code is not great but I think he was sending a message that a gorilla soldier was found killed.” He turned to his human friends. “Three humans from the local village are being questioned. An execution is expected.”
“Which village?” Virdon asked, the humor in his voice gone, replaced with dire seriousness.
“He doesn’t say,” Galen replied, “but the closest one from here is River Falls.”
“Let’s go,” Pete said, getting up and wiping the dirt off his clothes.
“Wait,” Galen interjected, “go where? And why?”
“You know what’s going to happen,” Virdon answered, standing up as well. “It doesn’t matter what really took place. Some poor human is going to be railroaded and executed. We have to stop that.”
“What does a railroad have to do with any of this?” Galen asked and when Burke arched an eyebrow at him, Galen added, “Can’t we just stay here and be safe? Not go looking for trouble? Just once...”
“Hey,” Pete said, addressing Galen with a grin. “It’s us.”
Galen rolled his eyes and sighed. “I know.” He stood up. “It’s us,” he repeated in defeat. “All right. Let’s go.”
**********
From the back of the crowd that had gathered, the trio of fugitives could see the entire village square. On a dais in front of the prefect’s office building sat an orangutan dressed in very official-looking garb. His chair was an elaborately carved wooden throne. Standing behind him was the chimpanzee prefect of the village. The two human fugitives had never seen either of them before but Galen knew who they were.
“That chimpanzee is Prefect Libar,” Galen said. He pointed to the orangutan. “And that’s His Eminence Octavius, one of the most important doctors of law on the local council. He will run the trial instead of the prefect.” He turned to his human companions. “Not a good sign.”
On the ground in front of the Libar and Octavius, on their knees, were three humans, all three with their hands on top of their heads. The first was an elderly man. Next to him was a young man in his late teens. Last in the fatal line was a very pregnant woman, noiselessly crying. Behind each human stood a gorilla soldier. Each of these guards had a small pistol positioned against the head of the prisoner in front of him. Off to one side stood two more gorillas, who were obviously of a higher rank than the soldier guards based on their uniforms.
“Why is this being done in the village square?” Pete whispered to Galen. “It’s so...I don’t know...public.”
“That’s also not good,” Galen replied in a low voice. “Whenever they want to make a statement to the local population, they move the proceeding out into the open.”
“A statement? Meaning what?” Virdon asked.
Taking a deep breath, Galen replied, “Meaning the ending of this trial is already written. One...or more...or all...of those humans is going to be executed for murder. The procedure is a formality. The ending is the message.”
The orangutan Octavius stood up and spoke. “Attention residents of River Falls, both human and apes alike,” he announced. His voice was clear. It rang out like a bell over a village square that had suddenly gotten silent. “We are here to investigate the death of Major Krove, the highest ranking gorilla in this province.” He turned and motioned to the humans in front of him. “Behold the accused.” He pointed at the two gorillas to his left. “And here are our witnesses.”
There was a moment of silence when the only sound was the wind blowing through the trees. The orangutan continued, “Sergeant Parko, tell us what you saw.”
The shorter of the two gorillas stepped forward. “I was approaching the village this morning,” he cleared his throat, “when I saw...something...lying in a field by the side of the road. I went over to investigate--I thought maybe it was a sleeping human or a dead animal--and saw Major Krove lying on his stomach. There was a pool of blood a few feet from the major and it looked like he had begun to crawl away from where he was attacked when he died.”
Octavius’ eyes narrowed. “Anything else?”
“Yes,” the gorilla sergeant said. “His right arm was outstretched and he had scratched the letters CA in the dirt.”
Octavius asked, “What did you do?”
“I rolled him over and that was when I saw that he had been stabbed several times in the chest and that his throat had been cut.” He swallowed hard and though his voice caught with emotion, he continued, “There was blood everywhere.”
Prefect Libar chimed in. “I know this is hard, Sergeant, and I appreciate your efforts. Please go on.”
“I wanted to secure the scene but it was early and I was alone so I left him there and,” he motioned to the gorilla with him, “went to get my superior officer.”
Octavius said, “Please step forward, sir, and state your name.”
The other gorilla stepped forward and continued the story. “I am Arkon. When we arrived back at the scene I made sure that Major Krove was indeed dead. Some human had made a real mess of him. So I ordered any humans in the immediate area with a name beginning with CA be brought before me for judgment and punishment.” He walked over to stand in front of the three kneeling humans. “By the time they were brought here, the word had gotten out and you had been summoned.” He bowed before the two apes on the dais. “I have not been able to proceed any further.”
“What do you think happened?” the orangutan Octavius asked.
“I think one of these humans killed Major Krove in the very early morning and then decided to hide in plain sight by going back to the village, acting like everything was normal.”
The pregnant woman’s sobs became suddenly louder but the testifying gorilla continued as if he hadn’t heard anything. “Brave Major Krove, ever the vigilant soldier, in his dying moments tried to let us know which human had done this by scratching a name in the dirt.” He turned to motion towards the three humans. “Sadly, he died before he could finish the name of one of these humans.”
Prefect Libar turned to Councilor Octavius. “He died trying to let us know his murderer, the poor soul.” He eyed the human captors with venom in his eyes.
“Thank you, Captain Arkon,” the orangutan said and so the gorilla went back to standing by Sergeant Parko.
“You!” Octavius said pointing at the old human man kneeling in front of him. “What is your name?”
“Calo,” came the timid response. Calo was an old man with long gray hair that was tied with a leather cord in a ponytail. He looked like a man beaten down by the hard experience of life on this planet.
Burke leaned over to Virdon and whispered, “He reminds me of Farrow.” Farrow was an elderly human who had saved them from their crashed spacecraft all those weeks ago and had ultimately given his life so the astronauts would live.
“Agreed,” Virdon said.
The orangutan continued, “Where were you last night?”
Calo replied, “Nowhere. I’m an old man. I was in my home. Asleep until those gorillas came and dragged me out of bed.”
“Can anyone be a witness to that for you?”
“No, sir,” Calo said looking down at the ground. “I live alone. My family is all dead.”
Prefect Libar shook his head at the old man while Octavius rubbed his muzzle and considered this testimony. Libar leaned over and whispered something into the ear of the orangutan. Octavius nodded. He pointed to the young man who knelt next to Calo. “What about you?”
“What about me?” the teen sneered. He unlaced his fingers and dropped his arms to his side. The gorilla behind him immediately brought the pistol down on the boy’s head, sprawling him on the ground. “No one told you to move,” the gorilla shouted.
“You are an insolent one,” Octavius mused. “I should kill you right now for threatening me and be done with this whole matter.”
Wincing and rubbing the back of his head, the boy got back into a kneeling position and put his hands on his head again. “I didn’t kill any gorilla,” he said quietly. He looked over his shoulder and muttered something to the soldier behind him but it was too low for anyone to hear.
“What is your name and where were you last night?” Octavius asked. “Just for the record.”
“What record?” Burke whispered. “I don’t see anyone recording this ‘proceeding.’”
“Shhhh,” Virdon responded.
“My name is Carter,” the teenager said. “And I spent the night in the barn at my home.”
The orangutan narrowed his eyes. “Alone?”
The boy paused. He looked out into the crowd as if searching for a particular set of eyes. Again the only sound was the breeze. “Yes,” he finally said.
“Why did you sleep in the barn?” Prefect Libar interjected.
“I...I…,” Carter stammered, “I had a fight with my parents.” He glared at the two apes. “Let’s just leave it at that.”
“And where did these gorillas find you?” Octavius asked.
“I was back in my house having a morning meal with my parents when they showed up.” He looked up and stared right into Octavius’ eyes. “I didn’t kill anyone.”
Dismissively waving his hand, Octavius said, “I’ll decide what you did and what you didn’t do.”
Akron stepped forward and, addressing the crowd, he added, “Humans are liars. This young animal has already told two lies.” He returned his gaze to the boy. “I can see right through you. You think I don’t know what was going on in that barn?” The young man reddened but remained silent.
Finally, Octavius turned to the woman.
“Please!” she shrieked. “Please don’t hurt me or my baby.” She clutched at her swollen abdomen.
“Silence,” Libar barked and the woman immediately returned to quietly sobbing.
“What is your name?” Octavius asked, his eyes narrowed.
The woman sniffled hard and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “Cassy.”
“Where were you in the early morning hours today?”
“In my home. Sleeping. I’m tired all the time.”
Octavius and Libar remained expressionless, unmoved by her testimony, so she continued, “My time to deliver is almost here.” She took a deep breath, wiped her eyes, and sniffled loudly. “I’m in no condition to kill a bird, let alone a gorilla.”
“Enough,” the orangutan shouted and Cassy went quiet though she continued to sob.
Octavius stood up and addressed the crowd. “I am taking a short break to consider all this-”
“Consider what?” Burke asked. “No one has said anything of any value.”
“-and when I return I will decide which of these humans will die in retribution for killing Major Krove.”
The prefect leaned into Octavius. “Should we wait until a doctor can testify to the wounds or condition of the body?”
The orangutan waved his hand. “No. The evidence is clear. I’ve heard enough to make a judgment.”
And with those words, he and the prefect stepped off the dais and went into the office building behind them.
Virdon turned to Galen, “What does he mean ‘which of these humans’?”
Galen looked grim. “He could order one, two, or all three executed.” He paused. “He would be well within his rights.”
The crowd, instead of dispersing, remained silent and in place, as Octavius could be back at any moment.
Virdon turned to Burke. “You see what’s going on here, right?”
“Of course,” Burke replied.
“What?” Galen interjected. “What’s going on?”
Burke rolled his eyes. “You mean you can’t see who killed Krove? It isn’t obvious?”
Galen shook his head. “One or more of those humans, I guess. Look at the evidence, Krove started to spell out their names.”
“No,” Virdon said. “Galen, come on. You can figure this out.”
When Galen shrugged, Virdon added, “When I was a kid, I used to read books about a character named Sherlock Holmes.” Galen regarded him intently but said nothing so Virdon continued, “He used to say something like: when you eliminate all that’s impossible, whatever is left, no matter how improbable, is your answer.”
“What does this have to do with Major Krove?” Galen asked, frustration beginning to tinge his voice.
Burke jumped into the conversation. “Which of those three humans do you think overpowered and killed a gorilla soldier? The old man? The boy? No, it must be the pregnant woman. Right?”
“Maybe they attacked him from behind,” Galen offered. “His throat was cut after all.”
“Right,” Virdon said, rubbing his chin, “But if whoever killed him had cut his throat from behind, there would be no need to stab him in the chest.”
Galen nodded. “That makes sense.”
“So whoever killed him, stabbed him first and cut his throat while he was on the ground. Then thinking he was dead, left. But Krove wasn’t dead. He rolled over, tried to crawl away, and started to write in the dirt.”
“Which goes back to my question,” Burke interjected. “Which of those three humans do you think stabbed a combat-trained gorilla soldier--and then cut his throat--from the front?”
Galen pondered the question for a minute. “None of them could. It’s impossible.”
Virdon pointed at Galen. “My point exactly. So whatever is left, no matter how improbable, is the answer.”
“But what’s left?” Galen asked.
Burke said, “There are three things you need to commit a crime.” He counted these off on his fingers. “Means--the ability to commit the crime, opportunity--the chance to commit the crime, and motive--the reason to commit the crime.”
“All right,” Galen said slowly. “So what?”
Burke continued, “The three humans may have had the means and the opportunity...but what was their motive?”
“I don’t understand,” Galen whispered.
“It’s simply this,” Virdon said, “what in the world would one--or more--of those humans get out of killing Krove? What is the payoff? The gain? Why would any of them risk capture and death to kill an important gorilla soldier?”
Galen let all this sink in. He was silent for a moment.
Then his eyes widened. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “No. No. No. It can’t be. That’s also impossible.”
“It’s not,” Virdon said. “It’s improbable but when that’s all that’s left…”
“It becomes your answer,” Burke finished for him.
“It simply can’t be,” Galen was still shaking his head.
“It is,” Burke and Virdon said at the same time. Virdon gripped Galen’s shoulders. “And you have to do something about it. You have to save those innocent lives.”
“Me?”
“Well, Alan and I can’t,” Burke exclaimed. “It has to be you!”
“How?”
“When Octavius comes out,” Burke said, “you have to explain this all to him.”
“I can’t do that!” Galen said hotly and then, noticing that the humans standing around were staring at them, whispered, “We’re fugitives...or have you forgotten?”
“Octavius doesn’t know that,” Burke said. “Neither does Libar. Yet.” He paused for a moment and then added, “You can do this. You have to.”
Octavius and the prefect came out of the prefect’s office. Octavius returned to his seat on the dais while Libar took up his place standing behind him. He held up one hand and the crowd’s quiet chatter slowly died down.
“It’s now or never,” Virdon said.
Galen sighed loudly and rolled his eyes. “It’s us, right?”
Burke nodded and grinned.
Galen straightened up and said, “Wish me luck.”
“You can do this,” Burke encouraged. “You know it’s the right thing to do.”
Galen walked into the crowd of humans that was facing the orangutan Octavius.
“Hold on, hold on,” Galen said, elbowing his way to the front. His gait was aristocratic, the tone of his voice patrician. “I demand to have my say.” His overall demeanor was of a chimpanzee who is used to getting his way.
Burke nudged Virdon, “I think back home Galen would have won a Drama Desk Award and a Tony Award for his performances with us.”
Virdon held out a hand to silence his friend. “Pay attention and stay ready. This could go very wrong, very fast.”
Galen approached the dais and addressed the orangutan directly. “Your Eminence Octavius,” he said with great flourish, “my name is...ummm….Sherlock....and I have something I must add to these proceedings. I must be allowed to speak.”
“Who are you?” Octavius inquired, his eyes narrowed.
“Yes,” Prefect Libar added. “Who are you?”
Captain Arkon stepped forward to intercept Galen. “You will get no closer to them,” he growled, pointing a thumb towards the dais. “And I will not allow you to disrupt these proceedings.”
Galen came to a stop but, ignoring Arkon, continued speaking, “I am a very concerned citizen of this great village,” Galen said, “and I beg to be able to ask just three questions to each of your two witnesses.”
“On what legal grounds?”
Galen’s eyes looked back and forth as his mind worked to find an acceptable answer. “Because...I…am a fellow ape with something….to add...to the proceedings.” He held his breath while Octavius considered this.
“He cannot speak now,” Arkon said to the orangutan. “You are ready to rule and sentence these humans. You said so.”
The orangutan turned his gaze from Arkon to Galen. “Go ahead.”
Burke nudged Virdon again. “I know the stakes are high, but Galen is enjoying himself way too much.” Virdon ignored the comment and kept his focus on what was going on at the front of the crowd.
“Your eminence,” Galen began, “can I begin with three questions for you?”
“Me?” Octavius replied pointing to himself.
“Yes, sir?” Galen said. “Please?”
Libar finally spoke up. “This is highly irregular. No one asks Councilor Octavius questions at a questioning.”
Galen looked to Octavius and said, “Please sir, bear with me. You’ll be glad you did.”
Octavius considered for a moment and when he waved a hand in assent, Galen continued, “Remember the wooden puzzle we built as children?”
“That was close,” Virdon breathed.
“But where is Galen going with this?” Burke replied.
Virdon shrugged. “Trust him. He knows what he’s doing.”
Octavius nodded to Galen’s question so Galen continued, “Remember how you couldn’t see what the picture was until it was finished?” Octavius nodded again but his confusion and frustration seemed to be growing. Galen went on, “But do you also remember how sometimes it just took the right piece or two to make the image very clear--even if the puzzle wasn’t finished?”
“Yes,” Octavius said, impatience revealed in a single syllable.
“Good,” Galen said. “I am about to make the image very clear for you.”
“That Galen sure is smart,” Burke said quietly. “Do you see what he’s doing?”
“Yes,” Virdon said in a whisper. “He is leading Octavius to water to see if he’ll drink.”
Galen turned to Sergeant Parko. “Sergeant,” he began, “I have three questions for you now.”
The gorilla nodded, but was clearly confused by what was happening. He looked to the two apes on the dais and when Octavius nodded at him, Parko turned to Galen.
“Are any of these humans,” Galen gestured towards the kneeling captives, “capable of overpowering Major Krove?”
“No,” the gorilla snorted. “Of course not.”
“All right,” Galen said with careful deliberation. “Two, did Major Krove know the names of these three humans. Or any humans, for that matter.”
“Again,” the gorilla said with a laugh, as if the question was ridiculous, “no. Why would he bother to learn the names of humans?” He laughed and the three gorillas guarding the human prisoners chuckled along with him. “He told them what to do and they did it. No names needed.”
“Fair enough,” Galen said. “Three, is there a curfew in this village?”
“Yes, no human out between sunset and sunrise. Prefect’s orders. Violators will be shot on sight.” The gorilla motioned to the three human prisoners. “They knew that.”
“Must make for a boring nightlife,” Burke mused.
Galen now turned to Arkon but before he could say anything the gorilla spat, “Why do I have to answer your questions? Who are you?” He turned towards the dais. “I won’t answer his questions. This is not something that is allowed at a proceeding like this.”
“It is allowed,” Octavius said through gritted teeth, “if I say it is.” He let that hang in the air for a moment and then added, “And I do indeed say it is. I am finding this very interesting.” He looked at Galen. “Continue, Sherlock.”
Galen gave a little bow. “Captain Arkon,” he began, “which of these humans would benefit by killing Major Krove.”
Arkon shifted on his feet, clearly uncomfortable. “Humans don’t need to benefit to commit violence against apes. Destruction is simply in their nature.”
“Then who does benefit from Major Krove’s death?”
“No one.”
“Not even the gorilla who will now be promoted to take his place?”
Arkon said nothing.
“You?” Galen asked. “Captain Arkon? CA?”
Arkon remained silent.
Galen turned to the orangutan and watched as he mentally fit the last piece of the puzzle into place. The image was now crystal clear to Councilor Octavius. For a moment, his eyes widened and his mouth gaped. Pointing at Captain Arkon he shouted, “Arrest him!”
The three gorilla guards behind the human prisoners looked at each but, unsure of what was going on, none of them moved.
“I said...arrest him!”
Immediately the three guards left the humans they were guarding and moved to the gorilla captain’s side.
Two of them each took one of the captain’s arms and the third stepped in front of him and pointed a gun at his chest. Octavius stepped down from the dais and walked to the captain. He pointed a finger and said, “You have broken one of our most sacred laws.” Arkon looked down at the ground while Octavius continued, “Ape shall never kill ape.” He said it over and over and with each recitation, more and more apes who had stopped to watch the proceedings joined in--even Galen--until it was a loud mantra that was echoing over the open village square.
Finally, the orangutan raised a hand and the voices ceased. “Take him away,” he said to the gorilla soldiers and watched as Captain Arkon was pulled, stumbling, out of the village square, and towards the local prison. Octavius turned to Galen and put his hands on the chimpanzee’s shoulders. “You have my thanks, Sherlock. Please stop by my office this afternoon and we will get to know each other a little better.”
“I will,” Galen replied, knowing that would never happen. Octavius turned and, with Prefect Libar trailing just behind him, went into the prefect’s office building again.
Galen walked over to the three kneeling humans and bid them stand up. He helped Calo, and then Cassy, to stand, as Burke and Virdon joined him. “You are free to go,” Galen said to the three. Cassy approached Galen and gave him a tentative hug. “Thank you,” she whispered. Carter also went up to Galen and, with his eyes on the ground, said, “Why did you do that?”
Galen gestured towards Burke and Virdon. “My friends told me it was the right thing to do.”
Carter looked up and met Galen’s gaze. “Your friends?”
“Yes,” Galen said, moving to stand by his companions.
“I don’t understand,” Calo said.
“Think about what you saw here today.” It was Virdon speaking now.
“Yeah,” Burke added, “maybe this was just the piece of the puzzle you needed to see the whole image.” He jerked a thumb to the door of the prefect’s office. “Maybe them too.”
“We should go,” Virdon said, “before they come back and start asking questions.”
The three friends headed out of the village square and towards the woods that lay just beyond the village’s edge.
As they jogged away, Burke offered, “I have a good one this time.” He paused. “Agatha Christie novels.”
Virdon replied, “Broadway musicals, like Chicago.”
Galen rolled his eyes. “Please, not this again.”
The friends laughed and picked up the pace.