Chapter Text
October 3rd, 2005
When Joel signed up to be an emergency foster parent, he didn't expect he would be getting a call a week later about a little girl named Ellie. It sounds stupid. He should’ve known it was a possibility. But just being aware of something that might happen and living something that is happening are two different things entirely. When he got the call from Marlene, the girl's social worker, he was brought to tears. She was displaced from her current home because her previous foster parent had sexually abused her the entirety of her stay with him. The information had left him on the floor next to the receiver. He had tried to keep it together on the phone but he felt his throat closing every second. Sarah was at school and he was thankful because at least she didn't have to see her old man on the floor, unable to speak.
He didn’t tell Sarah the news right away. He paced up and down in his room for hours trying to find a way to say it. He didn’t want to say what had happened, no, not exactly . Just that it was serious, and she should know that. She would ask more questions; she is a curious kid. But he had already made up his mind to not answer them, he didn’t feel it was his place. The situation made his stomach churn the bile and acid up to his throat. It burned. He swallowed it hard and tried to forget the taste. He didn't forget the taste. He wouldn’t for a long time.
He decided he would sit on the couch and wait for Sarah to come home from school. He tried his best to keep his lunch inside of him. He waited several hours, unmoving. Nothing got his mind off of it. He couldn’t be like this when Sarah got home so he decided to make himself a cup of coffee. As he was brewing the black coffee, (the only way he would drink it) Sarah walked through the door.
Sarah’s nose scrunched as soon as the scent reached her nostrils. She hated the smell of coffee, maybe because she had been enduring it since she was three. “Ugh, of course you picked right as I'm getting home to make that stuff .” She snarls, resting her backpack on the couch; a pink Jansport bag that was decorated with patches she had ironed on herself. They consisted of phrases such as: Girl Power, I am a woman not a womb, man! (Joel’s favorite) , and a globe with the phrase “Who run da world?” on it.
Joel leaned against the kitchen counter while it poured, and the scent exasperated the room. “Don’t sound so excited to see me,” he said sarcastically. Sarah rolls her eyes and uses the blue scrunchy on her wrists to put her dark curly hair in a bun. “Had a good day at school?” And this was the moment that Joel gave himself away. His nervous tic. He doesn't even know when he’s doing it. As he asks the question he rubs his increasingly sweaty hands on his jeans repeatedly. He tries to make it seem natural. He fails miserably. Sarah knows this schtick.
She walks into the kitchen and sits on the counter next to him. He has told her a million times not to do that, but she always did anyway. An eyebrow raises, her eyes squint and she stares at him for a fleeting moment, tilting her head. “What’s going on?” She ignores his question.
Joel clears his throat but doesn't say anything. He wanted to but his brain and mouth hadn’t agreed to sync up. He really wasn't prepared to be having this conversation today. “Hm?” He asks.
Sarah sighs and jumps down from the counter. She gets a cup from the dishwasher and walks to the refrigerator. She pours herself a glass of water. Never once breaking eye contact. “That thing. The hands thing, you always do that when you have to talk about something you’d rather not have to talk about.” She takes a sip from the glass and places it down on the counter “You can say it.”
Joel looks down at his hands. "Yeah, I know that. I’d better. Let’s go sit down though, I’d like to drink my coffee in a more comfortable place.”
‘Alright, old man.” Sarah smiles
They sit down on the couch and Joel takes a mouthful of coffee and swallows it in one gulp before beginning to speak.
“So, we got our first placement.” Joel smiles, because he really was happy about it. It was just the situation, it made him uneasy. It made him want to kill whoever would do such a thing to a child.
Sarah’s eyes lit up. She smiled so big that the faint lines on her forehead scrunched together. Sarah had asked Joel to sign up. She had had a friend in the foster system and she had learned how horrible and unfair it was. She hated seeing her friend in pain and before she knew it that friend was gone with no way of checking up on them. She regretted not asking for their number. Joel and Sarah decide that maybe they could help out. That even if it was one kid who needed a safe haven that they would provide for however long they needed. Sarah would never admit it but she also secretly hoped she got a brother or sister out of the whole ordeal. Being an only child was lonely. “Oh. My. God. Already? That’s amazing! When do they come, what do we have to do- oh girl or boy. I'm hoping for a girl, and I know that’s biased but-”
“Sarah. Sarah. Sarah.” He places a hand on her shoulder and smiles, it was nice seeing her so excited. “You better not overwhelm this kid when she gets here.” He says it in a joking tone, but she knows he’s serious.
Sarah corks an eyebrow and smiles “So it is a girl!” She grabs a notebook out of her bag and rips a page right out the middle. Joel internally screams. Sarah grabs a pen and looks up at him eagerly “We need to get her a uh— care package! yes! What are some things she likes?”
Joel remembers that Marlene had told him earlier little things about the girl. He closes his eyes and tries to remember. There was this comic…he’s finding it hard to grasp the name and he curses himself for it. “There was a book— no it’s a comic book called Crazy Star Sign? Wait no…Not crazy but there was the word Star a Star…”
Sarah’s eyes widen and she jumps in her skin. “She reads Savage Starlight too!” She instantly begins writing “What else?”
Joel has to close his eyes again to remember. This time it’s easier. He snaps his fingers. “Oh! Those uh pun books! Apparently, she can’t get enough of ‘em. That’s all I was told.”
Sarah writes down the information. When she’s done, she holds the pen to her lips and looks up. “Okay, shortlist but good enough. We should go to the store. When is she gonna be here?”
He looks at his watch and is surprised at the time. “Shit, it’s already 4. She’s gonna be here at 7.”
“No time to waste then.” Sarah says already at the door tying her laces.
⸻⸻
Ellie is nervous as fuck . She’s never had anyone give her gifts before. How much did they know? It scared her. She didn’t want anyone to know. David was in jail, and she wanted to forget about all of it; move on and bury it so far down it was unrecognizable from the surface.
Marlene smiles and clasps her hands together seemingly cutting through the awkwardness radiating in the air. “Well, isn’t this sweet? You remembered what I told you! It’s so lovely right, Ellie?” No answer. Ellie was currently having a staring contest with the bear that read “Get Well Soon” on it. She snaps out of it when Marlene nudges her. “Right, Ellie?”
“Yeah…yeah, thanks. It’s really nice of you.”
Sarah notices she’s staring at the bear and frowns “I’m sorry, it was the only one they had.”
Ellie immediately felt shitty. These people had wanted to do something nice for her and she was too focused on a stupid fucking bear to appreciate it. "No, it’s okay. It’s cute.” She forces a smile, but her eyes don't get the memo.
“Well, Ellie, you have my number and I’ll be back to check on you sometime this week; to let you know what’s going on.” Marlene nods “Thank you again, Mr. Miller. I’m sure you'll take great care of her.” And just like that Marlene was gone. The sound of the door closing felt like bones crushing to her. She was waiting for the other shoe to drop. She was waiting for them to tell her she was only here so they could get a paycheck. But to her surprise, that never came.
Joel clears her throat; it feels longer than natural. “Um…Well, Ellie, make yourself at home. It’s yours now too for a while. We got a guest room. I still need to clean it out a bit so if it’s okay you'll be roommates with Sarah.”
Ellie nods. She feels like she should say something, but she’s scared to even breathe too hard.
“If you come with me, I can show you to my– our room.” Sarah smiles. This girl is the opposite of Ellie. She’s like the sun. Ellie feels like she’s gonna drain Sarah with her gloominess.
She follows the curly headed girl up a flight of stairs (all she thinks about is that David had stairs too) . “So, this is the bathroom…” Sarah points to a door on the right in the middle of the hallway.
“Does everyone use that bathroom?” David had this rule: What’s yours is mine. She felt stiff.
Sarah notices the goosebumps forming on her forearms as Ellie puts her hands behind her back. “No, just us. Dad- Joel has his own bathroom in his room. So, it's all ours.” She didn’t want to force the word ‘Dad’ onto Ellie.
Opposite the bathroom was Sarah’s room. Ellie felt flabbergasted by all the pink in her room. It coated every wall. Her windowsill held a collection of trophies. Ellie guessed she was in some sport. She made a mental note to look at those when she was alone later. Her headboard was filled with an assortment of stickers. There was a Destiny’s Child poster above her bed as well as a The Clash poster.
“I hope you like it.” Sarah says ‘I’m going to go get an air mattress from downstairs. But you can take a bath while I’m gone. There're some towels in the bathroom for you.” Sarah doesn’t wait for a response. Ellie’s by herself again. The first thing she does is go over to the windowsill. She picks up each trophy and studies it. Soccer, they’re all for soccer. Sarah likes sports. Ellie likes sports too, but she’s never gotten a trophy for it. She smiles at the fact they have something in common.
Ellie inches her way to the bathroom. There are towels on the counter with a sticky note that reads her name. She throws it away. The towels are pink, she should've guessed that. Ellie goes to close but her heart stops. She finds she can’t do it. She doesn't know if that’s allowed.
AUGUST 8TH - DAVID’S PLACEMENT
Ellie sits in the bathtub with her knees to her chest. She’s so uncomfortable, even with the door locked. She sees the way he looks at her. Like she’s a meal for him, like he’s hungry.
She hears the knob turn. Then she hears it turn again and again and again and again and again. It stops for a few seconds but she’s too scared to move. Then she hears a thump. He’s throwing his whole body at the door again and again AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. BAM! The door bursts open and she immediately hugs her legs to her chest tighter. There’s no curtain, nothing she can pull to cover herself, to protect herself. She starts to cry.
David stares at her and then begins walking over slowly, he sits at the edge of the tub. He reaches over and moves a strand of hair behind her ear. His hand migrates to cupping her cheek and forcing her to look up at him. "You’re not supposed to close the door. You would only need to close the door if you're hiding something.” His tone is falsely smooth, wrongly inviting- she knows it’s not real, so she closes her eyes. He suddenly grips a tuft of hair, and she screams in pain. “Are you a dirty girl, Ellie? Is that why you need the door closed? Are you touching yourself?” His voice quickly turns purely evil.
“NO!” She yelps in pain “I would never do that.” She chokes out through tears.
“Call me ‘father’ you witch. Young girls should have manners.”
“I wasn’t, Father.” She cries.
He lets go of her hair and she immediately checks to make sure there’s none missing. “From now on, the door stays open.”
PRESENT DAY
So, she leaves the door cracked a bit. She thought that might be a good compromise. She hoped Joel wouldn’t be mad. She hears footsteps on the stares and stiffens. She whispers to herself that it's okay and that she's safe over and over and over. Then, she hears a voice. Sarah’s voice. “Uh- Ellie, are you alright in there?” She’s shocked by the door being open and stands outside a few feet away so as not to see anything.
Ellie yells “Yes!”
“Well, um, you got the door open, so I'm just confused?”
“Oh- Uh- Yeah! I didn’t want you guys to be mad.”
“Why would we be mad?” Sarah’s voice sounds sweet and smoothe, genuinely. There’s nothing sinister behind its demeanor.
Ellie’s heart beats so loud she can hear it in her ears. She freezes up and doesn’t answer. She thinks Sarah has left.
“Okay, well, I’ll close it for ya. You can close it, just telling ya.” Sarah closes the door.
It feels weird. She exhales. There’s privacy, autonomy, is that the word? She can relax. Ellie would go days without bathing at David’s so that she could keep her autonomy and now she just can relax. It feels nice, not weird, just nice.
When Ellie gets back to the room, she sees that the Savage Starlight and Will Livingston pun books are on the bed for her. Sarah is at her desk writing in a book, maybe homework or a journal? She spins her chair around “Do you like ’em? That was the only Savage Starlight comic they had cause the rest were sold out, but I have like a whole collection so-”
Ellie looks up instantly “You like Savage Starlight?” She’s never had anyone even care to ask her about it before, except Marlene but that didn’t count.
“Hell yeah! I love Savage Starlight. I was saying you could read my comics anytime you want. They're on the bookshelf.” Sarah points to a small bookshelf in the corner of the room.
Ellie holds the comic close to her chest and says, “Thank you.” It’s quiet but Sarah still hears it. The air mattress is decorated with blankets and pillows. Ellie’s about to tuck herself in and begin reading her new comic when Sarah stops her “No, you’re sleeping in my bed.” She says firmly.
Ellie is confused “But, it’s yours, I can’t.”
“And I can’t let you sleep on an uncomfortable air mattress, please, just take my bed. I want you to.” Sarah smiles “I’m just finishing up some algebra, so I’ll turn off the light soon.”
“It’s okay, I wanted to read anyways um…take your time.”
About an hour later, the lights are out, and Ellie’s finished her comic. She finds it hard to sleep.
“Hey, you awake?” Sarah asks in the darkness.
Ellie rolls onto her side “Yeah. I can’t sleep.”
Sarah snickers into the darkness ‘Neither can I. But I wanted to ask you something?”
Ellie’s eyes taper “What is it?” she murmurs
“How come you didn’t close the door?”
Ellie’s body goes rigid. It is silent for a minute and Sarah wonders if she might have fallen asleep. “I just…I didn’t know if I’d be allowed to. I didn’t want anyone to be mad at me.”
Sarah sits up abruptly “No one would be mad at you. Trust me, this is your house now too for however long, we don't care. We want you to feel safe.”
Ellie doesn't get up, instead she turns her head to look Sarah in the eyes. She softly smiles and nods her head. Even though she doesn’t say anything, Sarah understands that Ellie is more than appreciative.
⸻⸻
When Joel gets up the next morning at 6:00 am, he smells bacon. He knows Sarah doesn’t cook often and when she does it smells more…charred than this. In any case, he checks the girl's room. The pieces convene instantaneously. “Ellie.” He murmurs to himself. He didn’t know what to anticipate walking downstairs but it’s definitely nothing he could have imagined. Ellie stood at the stove making bacon and on the counter was already a plate full of eggs and toast, the table was set too.
“Hey, whatcha’ doing, kid?” He inquires.
Ellie trembles at the sound of a voice. She turns briskly. “I-In my last placement I had to make breakfast every day. I wanted to make sure I didn’t fuck-shit I mean mess anything up…” Her throat is choked with tears, and she doesn’t know where they came from.
Joel can hear the melancholy coating her voice. “We ain’t nothing like your last placement. Trust me. I appreciate that you wanted to, but you never should feel like it’s required of you. We don’t require anything from you but regular respect- which we should have for almost everyone.” He adds the ‘almost’ because he doesn’t think he could meet David without killing him. “And I don't mind ya cursing, my mouth ain’t the best example either.” He grins
He watches as Ellie takes the bacon out of the pan and she nods. “They were done anyways but I’ll remember that. Thanks…for everything.”
Joel takes the pan from her and soaks it in the sink. He puts the plates on the table. “Oh, Ellie, I’m gettin ya enrolled in Sarah’s school, but it’ll take a couple of days.” He goes to the stairs “I’m gonna go get Sarah, I don't know why she ain’t up anyways.”
Ellie internally frolicked with excitement. She never had a good experience at school. People always bullied her no matter where she was. Her clothes, her shoes, even her hair was always on the table for criticism. Even if it was just a few days she would hold them close to her heart. She’d already set at the table and begun eating when Joel and Sarah came trotting down the steps. “Hmmm, it smells so good.” Sarah expresses.
“Well, it ain't me, Thank Ellie. She was the one that got up and busted her ass to make us a nice breakfast even though she ain’t had to.” Joel glances at her softly and smiles.
Ellie smiles back at him. “It’s nothing.”
“You’re amazing.” Sarah says sitting down next to her, already eating a mouthful of bacon. It’s the first time Ellie’s ever been thanked for something like this. It was always expected of her by David but now it was just a nice gesture and that was all.
“Oh, and Ellie, our neighbors Bill and Frank, I asked ‘em to check on you every so often till Sarah gets home.” Joel makes known.
Ellie nods.
⸻⸻
Ellie likes being home alone because she can explore the house. It has all these pictures of Sarah and Joel that tell her a lot about their lives. She finds herself imagining she’s in the pictures with them. But she tells herself she’s only known them for 24 hours so they could still be the worst people in the world and tricking her, but it’s nice to believe they're not at the same time. There’s a picture of them that she thinks might be her favorite, Sarah in her soccer outfit with a trophy in her hand and Joel hugging her. They look so happy. She wishes she could be that happy.
She hears a knock at the door, and she stares at it. It feels like time has slowed and a million thoughts race through her head. She thinks David has broken out of prison, found her and is now going to- “Hi! Anyone home?” It's a man’s voice but definitely not Davids’. She inches closer to the door and cracks it open a bit. It’s just a confused looking man who is unsure as to why this girl is hiding from him. Ellie opens the door and apologizes.
“It’s all okay! You must be Ellie! Been dying to meet you.” He extends a hand.
Ellie takes it reluctantly and shakes “Yes.” is all she can find to say.
“Well, I’m Frank and was wondering if you wanted to have lunch with me and my partner Bill!”
Ellie lingers on the word ‘partner’. Are they married? Ellie’s never met other gay people before- besides Riley. But she tries not to think about her.
Another man walks out from the side of the house. “I was watering the plants since Joel never fuckin’ does it.” He grumbles. Ellie wants to laugh but doesn’t.
“I wouldn’t want to bother you guys.” She explains, which is true. She thinks her just being alive is bothering someone somewhere in the universe.
“Oh, don’t be silly! We’d love to have you over!” Frank beams
“Girl, you’re as skinny as a toothpick, you better be careful the wind doesn't blow you away,” The other man, Bill, says as he walks away.
“Don’t mind him, it takes him a while to warm up to anyone. If anything, this is the nicest I’ve seen him be to a ‘stranger’. But you won’t be for long.” The statement confused Ellie, if that’s nice she wouldn’t wanna see this guy when he’s livid.
She snaps out of her thoughts. She was really hungry, and she could hear her own stomach rumble and there was barely food here. She guessed they hadn’t been shopping yet. “No- I- I want to eat.”
“Well, you're allowed! Just follow me, my dear.”
She trails slowly and Frank matches her pace. It’s nice to have someone meet her where she is.
⸻⸻
Frank and Bill’s house is antique to say the least. It feels homey. She can tell it’s a place families should be, where children should be. The wallpaper is peeling up a bit at the edges and the wooden coffee table has small stains and cracks in it. They don’t have a T.V but they do have the biggest bookshelf she’s ever seen. She makes a mental note to borrow a book from them later if it’s allowed.
She sits in the dining room. The table is mahogany and circular. There are six chairs around the table. The cushions on the chairs are embroidered. Not with flowers or anything like that but names. She stands and walks around the table to read each one; Tess, Sarah, Joel, Bill, Frank and a new one that’s blank. She wonders if that one is hers. She wonders if she’ll be here long enough to have her name embroidered into a chair cushion too. But she’s learned to not hope for anything and not trust many. She finds herself staring at Sarahs’.
Frank’s voice appears behind her “Like ‘em?” He grins.
“Oh- yeah, they’re cool…different.” She does like it. It’s just hard to express. Are these Sarah’s grandads or something?
“Thanks.” Then his voice gets low. “Bill won’t admit it, but he loves them too.”
Bill yells from the kitchen. “DON'T BE LYING' ON MY NAME NOW!” Ellie wonders how the fuck he heard that. Shouldn’t his ears have disintegrated by now or something?
Frank rolls his eyes and ushers Ellie to take a seat. He sits down next to her. “So, Ellie, where are ya from, kiddo?” Frank leans his elbow on the counter and holds his chin in his hand, he’s smiling like he’s actually fucking invested.
“I don’t really know. I’ve been moving since I was a baby. I guess that’s just what comes with being a foster kid.” Ellie bites her fingernails, nervous tick. She hates talking about herself.
Frank’s eyes turn sorrowful rapidly. There are tear’s welling up, but he keeps the smile on his face. Ellie hates pity. Her whole life has been pitiful. “Where are you from?” She asks briskly, already wanting the conversation to resolve.
“Well, me and Bill aren’t from around here either. I’m from Maryland and Bill’s from Lincoln.” Frank says pleasantly. She can see that he has a story he wants to tell so she humors him.
“Why’d you move down here then?”
“My little sister, Tess, you’ll meet her soon, I hope. She lives down here. Her and Joel have known each other for years and they're pretty uh…good friends.” He says the last part with a smirk.
Bill yells from the kitchen “GOOD FRIENDS MY ASS!”
“I’M GONNA TAKE YOUR HEARING AIDS AWAY, OLD MAN.” Frank chuckles and rolls his eyes.
That one makes Ellie snort from laughter. These guys are funny.
“Anyways, long story short, we decided we got more roots here than anywhere else so why not plant 'em. Y’know, we helped raise Sarah after Joel’s- never mind. It’s just…we don't wanna be away from these guys.”
Ellie’s confused, after Joel’s what? She wanted to know more but knew she couldn’t ask; he would've just told her if it was for her to know.
Bill comes out of the kitchen with a platter full of sandwiches and fresh fruits. He places it in the middle of the table. Jeez, was this guy a chef? This was the best meal Ellie’s ever fucking seen. Better than the prison food David was serving her. One night at Davids’ she got so hungry she ate canned dog food. She was sick for three days after.
Ellie reaches over to take a sandwich but stops herself. She hears his voice. She can’t eat if she doesn't pray. She’ll starve if she doesn’t. Her thoughts begin to spiral and before she knows it her eyes are closed, and her hands are clasped together. When she’s done, she sees Frank and Bill staring at her. “Are you religious? We respect all religions, don't worry.” Frank asks.
“I’m not religious.” Ellie says dully. Praying just gives her anxiety.
“Then why were you praying?” Bill asks
“Because I can’t eat if I don’t pray.” Her eyes gloss over and she’s staring straight ahead. Everything’s coming back and she wants it all to stop.
“You don’t need to pray. I don’t believe in all that bullshit anyway, kid.” Bill's hand is on her shoulder and it’s the first time she’s seen him smile.
She starts crying and he holds her until she stops. Just repeating “I got you. You're safe.”
⸻⸻
When Sarah gets home from school at 3:30, she can't find Ellie. Her first thought is to panic but then she remembers what her dad had said this morning. She decides to check Bill and Franks’ house.
She was right. When she gets there, she can see through the window that Ellie and Frank are dancing to a vinyl. For a moment, she stands there and takes in the view. It’s the least tense she’s seen Ellie. It’s comforting.
Ellie’s quieter when they're walking back home but she doesn’t seem uncomfortable.
“Sarah?” Ellie asks
“Hm?” Sarah perks up
“Are Bill and Frank like uh- gay?” It’s hard to get the word out. It’s still hard to even call herself gay.
“Yeah, they’ve been together since I was born.” Sarah grins.
“And you guys are…okay with that?”
“Yeah, only people who are assholes aren't. Are you okay with it?” She stops and furrows her eyebrows.
Ellie immediately nods ‘Yeah, Yeah, of course. I mean, yeah. I support them” Why are her hands fucking sweating?
“I know what we should do till Dad gets back.” This time, Sarah doesn’t hesitate when she says Dad. It makes Ellie uncomfortable. She doesn’t have a dad. “I can paint your nails! Like a full manicure type thing too!” Sarah’s really excited.
Ellie looks at her nails. Her cuticles are all fucked up and her nails are basically nonexistent. “I’m not sure.”
“Come on, dude! It’ll be so fun!” Sarah is way too excited about this.
Ellie’s never had a nail painted or a manicure- whatever the fuck that means. But she doesn’t want Sarah to be mad. So, she agrees.
⸻⸻
Ellie is uncomfortable as fuck. Sarah is holding her hand gently and painting her nails black. The color Ellie picked out; it was the only one that didn’t make her want to kill herself. Sarah’s taking this seriously. She’s eyeing her nails like the world will explode if she doesn’t do it perfectly. Ellie’s a bit shocked when she makes eye contact. “So, tell me.”
“Tell you what?” Ellie gulps. Did she mention that she hates talking about herself?
“Were there other kids in your last placement?” She’s back to staring at Ellie’s nails intently.
“Oh- Uh, no, no, just…me.” Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Ellie feels the bile churn in her stomach.
“What was it like?”
Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. “Fine.” Please Stop, Sarah. Stop. She can feel the bile move up her throat slowly.
“You’ve gotta give me more than that.” She playfully rolls her eyes.
“Like what?” Ellie chokes out. It takes a lot to keep her lunch down.
“Why’d you leave?” Sarah asks
Ellie gets up at the speed up light and runs to the bathroom. She lifts up the toilet, pulls her hair back and throws up the entirety of her lunch. She chokes on her own vomit a few times and she hears Sarah asking what’s wrong through the door panicked, she wants to answer, she wants to say everything’s okay but it's not. She can’t tell if Sarah knew she’d have this reaction. If that was the plan, it was incredibly fucked. She hears the doorknob turn in between violent and raspy coughs, but it doesn’t budge. She’s locked it. It’s the first time she hasn’t felt guilty about locking the bathroom door in forever. And right now, she can’t tell if that’s good or not. After a while, Sarah stops trying and Ellie thanks the heavens. She didn’t wanna be talking anyways. Her throat burned with stomach acid. She crawled into the tub and drifted to sleep.
⸻⸻
Ellie is woken two hours later by a knock on the door.
“Go away, Sarah!” She says, it comes out strained and angry. She wanted it to be stronger than that, but she isn’t.
“Good thing it’s Joel then.”
“What is it?” She asks softly, finding a bit of control once again. Her anger dissipates once she knows it isn’t Sarah.
“Well, you either have a terrible case of diarrhea or you’re feeling really shitty right now.” He says facetiously.
She smiles “I’m not shitting myself in here!”
“Well, thank God, I actually have a fear of diarrhea.”
“What do you do when you get it then?” She titters softly.
“I don’t.” He says serious enough for her to believe but his chuckle gives him away “I don’t wanna talk about shit anymore. Me and Sarah are gonna have dinner with Frank and Bill, asking if you’re coming?”
“I'm okay.” she says in a muddy, washed-out tone.
Joel sighs “That’s alright, kid, take your time. I’ll bring ya back some food anyways.” Joel doesn’t wait for a response; he just starts downstairs.
⸻⸻
On the way to dinner with Sarah, she’s quieter than usual. “What happened today?” Joel questions.
Sarah flinches at the question, she reluctantly answers, staring at her feet and slowing her pace. “I asked her about her last placement, and she locked herself in the bathroom.” Sarah exhales, "It was only because you didn’t tell me anything, I thought it would be okay to ask.”
Joel stops dead in his tracks. “You can't ask her that. If she wants to tell you she will but it ain’t your place…it ain’t your business.”
“We’re living together so it kinda is…” Sarah mumbles under her breath.
“Sarah.” Joel says sternly, “You have to understand…that what happened at her last placement wasn't…wasn't…right.” He fumbles with the words for a moment. "You can’t just expect her to be okay telling you what she’s been through after knowing the girl for less than 24 hours.”
Sarah sinks into herself “Damn, I feel like a dick, you’re right.”
“You’re not being a dick, Sarah, I know you mean well. You’re just a kid.”
Sarah scoffs playfully ‘I’m 16.”
“You’re a kid.” He rolls his eyes.
“I can technically drive, you know.” She smirks.
“Well, I ain’t never seen no drivers license so you better drivers license them dishes after dinner.” Joel playfully nudges, these jokes were something he picked up from his ex-wife’s family.
They laugh. “1, never say that again, I’ll pay you. And 2, Bill always does the dishes anyway. You know he hates when people help him.”
“Girl, don’t play with me.” He rubs his chin, hiding a smile.
Sarah groans “Fine, whatever you say.”