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Nancy stared down at her plate, the type of gazing into space where everything else in the room feels obsolete, fixating on her slice of pizza, trying everything in her power to not feel this sense of crushing pressure.
“So, what’s up with you, Nancy?” Carlos pried, fighting the stretch of cheese pulling off his slice of pizza as he took a bite.
It was their monthly catch-up night. Carlos insisted on making a nutritious dinner, and Nancy insisted on picking up greasy pizza. Nancy won the battle of the meal almost every time.
“What? Nothing…” Nancy looked at the floor.
Carlos glared at Nancy, “Something is new with you, and you’re hiding it. We’ve been friends for too long for me not to know when you’re hiding something from me.”
“Is there something different with Lou’s cage?” She turned to the side of the room where the scaled lizard lived, trying to deflect the affection off of her.
Carlos set his pizza down on his plate, coming to sit on her side of the table. “Why are you deflecting so much? There’s something up with you, you can tell me anything.”
“Okay, fine.” Nancy sighed, taking a drink of her seltzer, “I hate you, you know?”
“I know, but you love me.” Carlos smiled, with a twinkle of light in his brown eyes. “And anyways, since when do you drink those? I thought you always hated those.”
It was just another thing that reminded Nancy of her. She loved the fruity, bubbly water and influenced Nancy to finally try them, and to her surprise, she actually really likes them, but she’s a little sad she can’t tease her about it anymore. “They’ve grown on me,” Nancy curled her lip up in a slight smile.
Nancy felt her chest filling with warmth just thinking of her. The first time their fingers brushed against each other, the first date where they spent hours in the restaurant losing track of time in conversation, the first time they kissed and her soft lips met with hers, the first time she laid her head on her chest and slept in her arms after a long shift, the first time she made her breakfast and made her coffee just right, all the times she felt the world stop when she was with her.
“Well… I’m seeing someone.” Nancy felt her hands shaking. Why am I like this? Carlos will be supportive, just say it. She thought to herself. “I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time, but it’s complicated.”
Carlos smiled warmly at her. “All I care about is that you’re happy and they treat you well, as you deserve.You can tell me as little or as much as you’d like.”
Nancy felt the weight of a thousand pounds of pressure lifted off her shoulders. “It’s Marjan.” She blurted out.
“What?” His eyes widened and his jaw practically on the floor.
Nancy’s smile immediately dissipated, feeling this sense of regret. Was it that implausible? That Marjan would want to be with her?
“Oh… No… I didn’t mean…” Carlos fumbled over his words, wishing desperately to go back in time thirty seconds, to react in a more sympathetic way. “I meant I didn’t know she was … into women. I think it’s great if you’re both happy. I love both of you. You both deserve happiness, and if that’s together, I’m happy for you. Stand up, please.” Carlos brought her in for a warm hug.
All these years have passed and Carlos was still her person. TK may be his romantic soulmate, but Carlos was her person. He had always been there, and she knew in her heart, he always would be. He felt like family. He felt like home.