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Justin wasn’t sure exactly what was happening. He felt himself rocket to the ground with the force of a hundred gods… he remembered that. Sort of. Everything was becoming a hot blur rapidly. Still, he was pretty sure that that had happened. That was why cold dewed grass was currently jammed up in his face and overtaking all his senses.
He needed the security of that feeling. The security of what he did know. Because there was far too much he didn’t know right now. There was so much going on in his mind that he was panicking.
Shapes and colors that were spinning around his head and sparkling lights speckling the inside of his eyelids while he laid limp as possible. Hoping desperately that if he sat still that it’d all stop. That and he also wasn’t sure he’d be able to move even if he tried.
His head hurt, but in a weird floaty way, as if it had fallen to pieces and he was trying desperately to keep it all together and after a second the painful thought crossed his mind…
Am I dying?
Justin wasn’t sure what it felt like to die, very few people really did… but he was worried this was it. After all, things didn’t hurt that bad, but everything was falling apart around him. He was fading. He knew he was fading. Was this the end? Justin was growing increasingly concerned that was the case. He wasn’t ready yet. He was scared… but what could he do? Wasn’t there supposed to be some hormone released when one was dying that made them feel ok with it? Where was that?
After a few more moments passed with Justin still being aware of his existence, that he could still smell that wet grass, he tried to open his eyes. No shot. He was immobile, there was nothing he could do but ride this out and hope he survived. His hopes weren’t high for that but he really didn’t have any other options. Not until he felt something warm.
At first Justin couldn’t figure out what it was, assuming once again that this was rather the warmth of the holy light or the beginnings of the flames of hell. Whichever god deemed him worthy of coming in slowly… but after a second he realized it was another person. That he was still tethered to the world of the living and it, in fact, was someone turning him onto his back. Letting him breathe without grass up his nose.
The groan that came out of Justin when was moved to his back was terrible, but Justin was honestly glad to hear it regardless. He was still connected to his body, still in control of it. He was still inside. Sighing heavily he showed the person moving him that he was alive on purpose this time. Wanting it to be known. Trusting that they wouldn’t hurt him if he did make such indications.
“Just- Just- Justin- Justin!” It took way too long for Justin to process they were saying his name. That they were calling out for him. It took even longer for him to realize there was concern coming through with that. They were worried. Justin moaned. He wanted to know who it was. He had encouragement now. There was someone who wanted him awake and for some reason Justin wanted to be awake for them as well.
The person propped his body up against their shoulder, helping Justin wake up even the tiniest bit more. Giving him the ability to feel as if he was more at attention. It let him finally feel the ability to slip open his eyes.
At first it was only for a second, a quick blink really, but then he was able to squint them open. It was all blurry, like the most intense heat waves that he saw as a child when he laid down on the hot concrete. Also only one eye was giving him anything. The other eye just saw blue, it was disorienting but ignorable. Justin was far more interested in his seeing eye than worrying about the blue one.
It took a few more blinks before he could get any kind of grip on who was holding onto him, but after he noticed he just gave a dry laugh.
Giriko. Of course it was Giriko who’d bother with his dying body.
“Justin wake up! I know you’re there now so wake up!” Giriko’s yelling felt so quiet against Justin’s ears, but it was also something. It did let Justin force his once again closed eyes open, made a jagged heavy smile peel up his lips. His whole face felt numb, like he was fighting against nature just trying to make any sort of expression, but he did eventually manage it.
“How the fuck are you smiling right now!?” Justin made some sort of wheeze that was supposed to be a laugh and leaned his head over into Giriko, letting all the force he used go the second he was facing the right direction and just dropping onto the man’s shirt. It smelled like him. It smelled like home. Justin couldn’t be happier with his decision to use what energy he had here to face him, because like this…
Everything felt like it’d be ok.