Chapter Text
"Whatcha lookin' at?"
Ford startled at the interruption to his thoughts, glancing up to look at Stan before refocusing on the object in his hand. He ran a thumb over its smooth yellow surfaces, and flipped it over in a six-fingered hand. It was shaped like a cube, with shallow squares indented into its sides. So shallow, in fact, Ford had only just managed to glimpse them when he'd held the cube to the light in the exact right position, and even then they were practically invisible. Ford had thought he was seeing things, until he felt the slight texture difference as the ridges of his fingerprints caught on the indentations.
"Do you know what this is?" He asked his twin. Instead of answering. Stan yawned and scratched his back, walking into the kitchen properly instead of hovering by the door.
"I dunno, some kind of puzzle box?" He answered, and opened the fridge to grab the carton of orange juice, promptly swallowing a gulp straight from the bottle. Ford rolled his eyes on instinct even as his focus didn't swerve from the cube.
"You're almost right." Ford agreed, tapping the cube with a nail, testing the hollowness. He flipped it in his palm again. "It is a puzzle box, but it's not just a puzzle box."
"What is it then, Mr Ominous?" Stan joked. "I've had that thing for years and I've mainly used it as a paperweight, if it turns out to be insanely rare and valuable I'm going to be very annoyed."
Ford paused, and looked at his twin for a moment. A sort of cringing pity for Stan sprang into his stomach, but Ford made sure not to show it on his face. It would be better not to explain what the artefact was to his brother, it would just create unnecessary guilt and regret for thirty years of both their lives wasted. Ford hadn't known what it was before he had taken a trip into the multiverse, after all, and he'd completely forgotten he owned it sometime in the three decades he was stuck there. He’d bought it at a yard sale just after his trip to the cave because of its yellow colour and geometric shape, and then he'd tried to set it on fire during his paranoid phase. He couldn't blame Stan for his ignorance, in fact he was wondering how he'd even dug it up in the first place.
"That's Dr. Ominous to you." He corrected. " And it's Prismo's puzzle box." He said, which would mean nothing to Stan. "And it might be able to help us get rid of that statue still in the woods."
Stan looked up sharply. Unlike the other memories that had come back with time, he still couldn't remember Bill directly and probably never would. He could, however, recall what people had told him about the demon, so he knew what he did to Gravity Falls, their niblings and Ford. "That bastard triangle?" He clarified, as if Ford could be talking about anyone else. "Could we have used it before? If I'd've shown it to you during the oddpocalypse?"
"No." Ford lied. "And stop using that silly made up name for the weirdmageddon, you know it's not called that."
Stan muttered something under his breath that rhymed with "flame ducking ring" and Ford rolled his eyes, elbowing him playfully.
"You got outvoted, Stan. Live with it."
Stan rolled his eyes so hard it moved his entire body, but he faced Ford seriously. "What're the downsides to it? I don't believe this thing will do it for free, what's the price?"
"If I do it right? Nothing." Ford answered truthfully.
"And if you do it wrong…?" Stan asked leadingly, a wary look in his eye.
"We'll be stuck in a completely new universe with no easy way of getting home." Ford answered. "But!" He interrupted just as Stan was opening his mouth. "Prismo is very lenient, is known throughout the multiverse to be, even, and he tries to guide people away from any mistakes he knows won't be great. If I lay out exactly what I don't want to happen he shouldn't trick me into it."
Stan closed his mouth, then opened it again. "If you get stuck in another universe." He said, that wary look still in his eyes. "Would I be there with you?"
"If getting stuck in a new universe is the only way to get rid of Bill for good, I'll make sure our entire family- the entire town, even, will be brought with me." Ford promised. "That includes you. Stanley. Hand on my heart I swear that to you." He hastily raised his hand to his chest. "I.. I-I just…" Ford sighed. "He's out there, Stanley. Just in the forest! I know everyone knows not to shake his hand, but what happens in a couple generations, and some teenager doesn't believe a secondhand story their grandpops told them."
Stan sighed, and his gaze flickered to the cube in Ford's hands before settling solidly back on his face. "I get it, Sixer. Look… just promise this is the safest way you can get rid of him for good? Promise me this isn't another Bill? I don't like the thought of you bringing another yellow demon down on our heads, I don't care if this 'Prisbo' is a cube instead of a triangle."
"Oh, Prismo isn't the cube-" Ford began, before seeing the look on Stan's face and backpedalling. "Look Stanley. Basically everyone I met across the multiverse knew Bill wasn't a good guy, our dimension was just slightly isolated and he could prey on me without his reputation getting in the way. Everyone I met who knew Prismo had a good thing to say about him, and if they didn't, they weren't a great person themselves. He seems like a genuinely helpful guy."
"Could be mind control making them say that." Stan muttered, before holding his hands up in surrender at Ford's glare. "But I trust you." He continued. "And you have that metal plate in your head, don't you? So I know if you start singing his praises, it's all you."
"Quite." Ford agreed.
Stanley stared at him searchingly for a good 30 seconds, and Ford weathered the scrutiny. The last time Ford had trusted an extra-dimensional being it had been Bill, Stan was right to be suspicious. "...Alright." His twin eventually said, taking another swig from the orange juice. "So how is this happening?"
"I just need to solve this puzzle box." Ford explained, refocusing on the cube and twisting his grip until a finger lay on every inprint. He glanced back at Stan and waved it for emphasis. "But I'm pretty sure I've already got it." He enthused. "I might disappear for a bit but I swear I'm coming back, I won't be long, I promise."
Then before Stan could say anything, he pressed down all the indents at the same time. It took a bit of pressure but they sunk into the cube, and kept sinking, even when there was no logical space for them, eventually Fords fingers slipped off the indents as his hand cramped at the awkward positioning- it probably would have been better to use two hands, even if he did have the same amount of fingers as the sides of a cube. The indents kept retreating however, sinking down until they disappeared completely, leaving the inside completely hollow. Ford held up the puzzle box by opposing edges to show the minor miracle to Stan but a pink light had started to build in the middle of the puzzle box, and between one breath and the next Ford was no longer standing in his kitchen with his twin.
"Heeeeello!" A cheery voice pronounced, and Ford looked in it's direction in surprise. A shadow on the wall, or maybe a projection of pink light, opened his mouth and spoke. "I'm Prismo the Wishmaster, and I see you've solved my puzzle box! Do you have a wish?"
"Ah-!" Ford said, excited despite himself. "I'm sorry but are you a two dimensional being? I've met some before, but I've never known any to be able to perceive or even understand the third dimension, not when they're still in the second! You're so interesting!" And indeed Prismo's blue eye did move to look at things in the three dimensional surroundings. To Ford's delight he reached a pink arm out to surreptitiously bat an empty beer can to the edge of the room. He could interact with things without a physical form! How fascinating was that!
Prismo laughed awkwardly, but a slightly darker pink stained his cheek. "Stop that." He chuckled, waving a hand in embarrassment and scratching his head. "And I'm less a two-dimensional being and more of a dream made reality, but more importantly it's all Prismo, baby! Your friendly Wishmaster!"
Someone cleared their throat pointedly behind Ford and he turned to see a smaller, blue-er figure standing behind him. They seemed to be made of angles where Prismo was all curves.
"Oh and that's Scarab." Prismo introduced, Scarab harrumphed again. "He's a new hire, I always forget to introduce him."
"Well. Hello Scarab, hello Prismo. It's nice to meet you both." He stuck out a hand automatically, and then awkwardly retracted it. He'd been on his earth so long he'd forgotten not every being could perform a handshake. "I'm Dr. Stanford Pines, from dimension 46’\ in the GF cluster of sector C and-"
"Ah, sector C!" Prismo interrupted. "I love sector C! It's so whimsical and fun! Some of my favourite people are from there. Have you passed through the AT cluster before? It's honestly my favourite part of the multiverse."
"There's not enough adult content." Scarab grumbled. Ford tried to recall if he'd ever visited any of the AT universes. He thought he remembered an atomic wasteland, but there were a lot of atomic wastelands in the multiverse so that didn't exactly narrow it down.
"Of course you want to see adult content Scrabby." Prismo teased. Scarab spluttered, and a- limb? tentacle? maxilla? emerged from his diamond shaped face to wave dismissively at Prismo.
"You know it's not like that." He growled, hushed. He kept glancing at Ford like this was ruining his reputation, but Ford honestly didn't care if the Wishmaster's… assistant? Watched porn in his spare time. He'd been in too many universe's with much looser social rules to care about that. He also had a teenage niece and nephew who were quickly hurtling into the wonderful world of hormones, so he'd walked into a couple hurried laptop slams.
Prismo extended an arm to poke Scarab on the shoulder. "Dude. I'm joking. We talked about this." His blue eye focused on Ford. "He's a big grimdark fan. That's what he meant by adult. I'm telling you this now because otherwise he's going to be angsty and stressed about it for the rest of the meeting."
"That's fine." Ford assured. "My niece has ADHD and my nephew is autistic. I understand rejection sensitive dysphoria." He also had his suspicions set on Stan for specifically ADHD, and he'd been looking at the autism criteria for himself, but his niblings were the only officially diagnosed in the family.
"Huh." Prismo exhaled. "I'll have to look into that."
"I'll look into that." Scarab said forcefully. "We're getting off track. I'm sure you came here to wish for something?"
"Right, yes." Ford agreed, he wasn't here to diagnose a two-dimensional being with a developmental disorder. "How would you eradicate Bill Cipher from existence?"
Now it was Prismo's turn to splutter, and his eye turned disbelievingly onto Ford. "Uhhh. I don't know, which Bill Cipher are we talking about here?"
"The one you're thinking of." He said, ready to explain the whole situation if he had to. Prismo's eye went wide at his confirmation, and Scarab twisted his head to look at Ford intently.
"Wait a second." Prismo said, and magicked a TV remote into existence, pressing a couple of buttons. One of the walls transformed into a TV screen, and Ford found himself staring at his own face in the cave where it all started. Prismo glanced back at him, and must have seen something on his face, because he said. "Oh! Trauma! Simon told me about this." And then Ford was staring at the statue of Bill in the woods, as if he'd blinked and missed the whole thing. "Sorry, just paused you for a second there. Wow! You managed to take down Bill Cipher!"
"Commendable." Scarab said, sounding impressed. His head was tilted at an angle that looked uncomfortable to Ford's human muscles and he didn't have pupils, but he was still undoubtedly giving Ford an appraising look.
"Well I didn't, no." Ford said, wondering if they'd somehow missed the whole twin thing. "It was my brother."
"Well yeah, duh, but you helped! It takes two twins to do an identity switch!"
"You were the one who pulled the trigger." Scarab said, and Ford noticed for the first time how low his voice was. His two-dimensional hands were gripped into fists. "You did what was needed to be done."
Prismo rolled his eye, but didn't comment on the dramatic tone. "Anyway, I took the liberty of listening to your conversation with Stan before you solved the puzzle box. My whole deal is creating realities to fulfil wishes, and if you don't want to change dimensions, getting rid of Bill maaaay be hard to achieve."
"I don't want to skip town and leave him behind for someone else to deal with, or just dump him on another reality." Ford asserted. "I just want him gone. Is there any way you can get that done?"
"Well I can't tell you the exact wording to get the wish you want, but I'm fairly sure there's someone out there that can help you." Prismo said and carefully, deliberately, blinked.
Ford furrowed his brow. "Who? Should I go to them and come back?"
"You do what you want, but I'm sure someone out there can help you." Prismo said again, placing odd emphasis on certain words. He blinked again.
"Who?" Ford asked again.
Prismo sighed exasperatedly and blinked multiple times in a row. "Dude. someone out-"
Scarab interrupted, speaking over Prismo with a wave of his hand. "He's winking right now." He explained, and Ford got a feeling that if he had pupils they'd be rolling. "He only has one eye so it looks like it's a blink. But it's not, it's a wink." He glared at Prismo. "He does this every time."
Prismo looked at Scarab, affronted. "Dude, don't interrupt me! I'm being subtle!"
"You do this every time!" Scarab threw up his hands in despair. "They never get it! Half of them don't even have eyes! Or eyelids!"
"You understand and you don't have eyelids!"
"I took interspecies sensitivity training! I don't understand how you even got this job!"
Ford frowned as the two beings argued. Why would Prismo be winking? Hadn't he just said he couldn't give Ford any hints? Ford thought over the words Prismo had stressed, and then desperately wanted to hit himself. It was so obvious! Stan would have understood before Prismo had even tried to wink.
"I wish for someone to help me destroy Bill Cipher, insomuch he will never be able to recover."