Chapter Text
Beep… Beep… Beep…
As Ian stood right next to his unconscious patient, the doctor was in total disbelief of what he was witnessing. As he kept reading the patient's chart, he couldn’t help himself but keep looking at the patient’s face and their name, as if his eyes were playing a trick on him.
“Patient name: Matt A. Edega”
While not the splitting image of his boss, Ian could assure who the father was based on some of his features: His nose, hair texture and skin tone were almost identical. He looked no older than 12, but the kid’s chart was longer than most charts at Middlesea hospital.
From what he could gather the child had been constantly in and out of hospitals for a majority of his life, chronic illness and constant infections, surgeries, and complications. The notes from the previous hospitals didn’t spark any hope in him.
“End of life care recommended. Parent requests the patient to be resuscitated in case of heart stopping.”
The thought of delivering this news to a parent already made Ian’s stomach shrink, but knowing who the father is and delivering him the news made the air feel heavier and heavier. He didn’t know that Edega was a father until now, and in front of him was his boss’s dying child. How does anyone break the news of ‘Your child is dying, just let them go’? Ian was looking for the right words to say, but as soon as he heard steps coming from the hallway, all those thoughts transformed into a panic. The door opened, and expectedly his boss came into the room.
“Good evening sir-” Ian stuttered as he desperately tried to find the right words to let his boss know his son’s condition. Edega, hiding his face with his clipboard as usual, didn’t utter a single word. “I’ve been looking through Matt’s chart and I uh-”
“What’s your treatment plan?” Edega interrupted, asking in a serious tone, his voice sounding slightly shakier than usual.
“Well, uh-” Ian panicked, unable to look at his boss. “From what I’ve seen from his doctor’s recommendations, we’ll make sure he’s comfortable.”
“Anything else?” Edega’s voice grew angrier.
“I’m sorry sir, but what do you mean?” Ian stuttered. Edega lowered his clipboard and looked directly into Ian’s eyes, making him more anxious than he already was.
“I didn’t transfer him here for no reason” Edega dryly responded, not taking his eyes away from Ian. For the first time, Ian was looked at directly by Edega, which made him notice his deep eyebags and aging signs; his boss’s eyes reflected how worn out he was by his profession, and this situation didn’t help. “You have been developing that Rhythm Doctor program, and I am certain that the defibrillator can aid in his recovery.”
“Sir, being realistic, Matt hasn’t responded to treatment well. I can try and research some new treatment applications but if the time comes…” Ian paused, his voice cracking at the thought of the boy’s death “…I think it would be best to let him go.”
The tired gaze of his boss pierced through Ian’s soul, and the silence in the room was deafening. While his boss seemed quiet and composed, Ian could feel the anger and sadness he wouldn’t show; each second passing felt like an eternity. He knew his boss would berate him in some way, but he would never be prepared for the words about to come through his boss’s mouth.
“Would you say the same thing if it was your mother we are speaking about?” Edega said. Words that felt like a stab in the heart. More than angered or offended, Ian felt shocked and heartbroken; while his boss was being unnecessarily rude, he could relate to the struggle of caring for an ill relative. This wasn’t a doctor to doctor conversation, it was a doctor to family of the patient, he knew the desperation and frustration that came with looking for care for a family member so anything he would normally say or think was out of the question for this situation. As the seconds passed, Ian took a deep breath to calm down and give a proper response to his boss.
“I am sorry sir. I’ll do some research and develop a treatment plan, in the meantime we’ll do our best to keep him stable.” Ian stuttered. As he said those words, all his emotions took over him at once, he needed to run out of there, cry his frustrations out and scream; but all he could do was stand in place and shiver, as his boss silently walked towards his son. Ian managed to walk out the room, still shivering he managed to look back at his boss and his son, the father having taken a seat right next to his son while holding his hand, this being the last image of the two he saw during the night, as he ran towards the stairs to his office shivering harder and holding back the urge to throw up.
As soon as Ian reached his office, he felt tears running down his face. For the first time he was faced with a patient that he might not be able to save, yet his boss insisted since the patient happened to be his son. ‘Why does this happen to me?’ He would constantly ask himself in a panic. This responsibility his boss had assigned him was beyond his capabilities, even further beyond on anyone’s capabilities; but even in the fear and anger he could feel towards his boss he could simultaneously understand why would he take a decision like this: If it was his mother and he had the chance to save her, he would do it without thinking twice, so he could never think how painful would be to be in his boss’ situation. As he breathed in and out, he decided on his next course of action.
He would try his best to heal Matt Edega, not for his boss, but for the father and child he saw holding hands before he left the room.