Work Text:
"Yutaka...I think it's defective..."
"Of course it is! Y-you were the one that uhm...got the motherboard all wrong!"
"Oh, really? If that's the case, I guess YOU were the one at fault for, uhm...messing up the IC chip! Yeah!"
"I see how it is! F-fine...let's just throw this thing out..."
"Yeah...it can be our secret..."
"Secret? You say that like it's some accidental sex...baby or whatever..."
"PERVERT!!"
"Whatever...just...just let me take this thing out..."
A fight had started between two young men, known only to the public eye by their first names--Sho and Yutaka. A duo of scientists with an interesting story; they were childhood friends with a shared interest in robotics. They both went to the same high school together and they both went to the same university as well, but eventually dropped out due to them getting bored of all the courses. Having barely retained any information from what they learned during their short time there, they eventually decided to start a laboratory underneath a livehouse, making robots for incredibly trivial things specific only to them, with their most notorious example being a chip that Sho made to immediately receive phone numbers from girls he liked.
Yutaka had no say in the idea.
This time, they tried making a robot molded after a human. One that they named "Robohip" for...no apparent reason.
Regardless, Robohip was their biggest venture yet; a strangely human-looking robot, molded after someone they both knew (and despised) during their short time in university. They even made it so that the robot SMELLED like the person in question. He was identical, having the same hair and body type, but in place of his eyes was a long horizontal visor that spanned the circumference of his head.
They had tried time and time again. Making a robot, failing, making a robot again, failing again, failing over, and over, and over, and over and over again. Failing over the span of several years.
This time, Sho had enough.
Sho's eyes were filled with tears. As he carried the metal body on his shoulder on the way up the stairs, to the dumpster, he couldn't help but remember every time he had been wronged. It didn't help that outside, it was raining. Loudly raining.
"Oh, stop crying! Y'know, maybe he'd end up good if you...uhm...listened to me! We should've just used...cardboard! Not metal!", Yutaka shouted from the end of the lab.
Sho didn't even try to speak or look Yutaka in the eye. He just silently went up the stairs as he had planned. In his head, though, he had fantasized just telling him to shut up about cardboard. It seemed like a good idea, but this was not the best timing.
"UGH! There we go. The dumpster. Another day, another failed robot...", Sho muttered to himself as he wiped his tears.
Looking at the metal-ish corpse he just got rid of, he slowly felt less and less guilty. He carried that feeling of better-ness as he made his way back to the lab. And then...Sho's day just went by normally.
And the day actually begins.
Next to the livehouse-lab combination building, there was a small cafe that often sold pastries and desserts. What else would they serve anyways?
And there was a guy who loved that cafe and visited it often; a nerdy scientist with a secret double life as a bangya; a visual kei fangirl. More than anything, he always put his hair up in pigtails, still used an MP3 player, still had a ton of visual kei posters in his room, still frequently used Mixi, and more importantly, he was obsessed with one specific concept; having a robot boyfriend.
Much like Sho and Yutaka, he would also try to make a robot, but not for any good reason, really. He wanted some sort of chatbot he could flirt with on the daily to simulate his idea of a perfect boyfriend. And of course, he'd fail. But he was too busy studying to even think of trying again, over and over, over the course of several years...
But above all...he just finished eating a cute parfait!
Oh, and his name's Jun. Jun Utahiroba.
"Ah...finally...the rain's over..."
Jun smiled as he looked up at the sky, then he looked at his phone to check the time, then he looked at the pictures he took of the parfait he just ate, and then he looked over to the livehouse nearby, quickly making his way there. He was free today, after all. Why not spend some pocket money on a live, if there were any going on in the first place?
"Let's see...any cool taiban lives...hmm..."
Jun was eyeing the posters to see if any band that interested him was going to perform.
"Ooh...never heard of them. Is it worth it? Probably not. No big deal..."
Nothing interesting at all.
Just as Jun was about to leave, he then noticed one thing...a limb poking out of the dumpster nearby.
What was that in the dumpster?
He looked.
He got closer.
He walked over to the alley.
He got even closer.
"Is that a corpse...oh my god..."
Jun could briefly spot a leg poking out the dumpster. At this point, he was crazy curious, and pulled the corpse by its leg out of the dumpster with his bare hands.
It landed on the ground making a loud slam that shook Jun to his core.
It was none other than...ROBOHIP?! How surprising!
He was barely clothed too; the only "clothing" he had on was some kind of thong, a shoulder pad, and
Jun had several questions.
Who threw their ikeman sex toy out of their home? Why did they throw their ikeman sex toy out of their home? Why didn't they just directly donate it to Jun? Don't answer that last question, actually...
He decided to take a closer look, only to realize that this was a robot, not a sex toy. He could tell because of how parts of the exterior was made of...metal. The thing they use for robots?
Soon, Jun's neutral expression turned into a smile, which turned into an even wider smile, which then turned into non-stop giggling.
"Another man's trash...my treasure!!!", Jun squealed. He lifted the robot up with full force and put it over his shoulder, not really caring as to whether it'd be legal to carry a robot home, or whether his shoulder would hurt. After all, one of his biggest fantasies was about to come true!
He didn't live that far from the café, so he just powered through and kept carrying Robohip on his shoulder until he reached his apartment. He could've dragged Robohip across the ground, but that'd be too loud...
Once he had reached his apartment, he slammed Robohip on the floor and dragged him to his room.
Jun's room was...interesting. It had a huge shelf covering a portion of a wall, which was dedicated to his ever-growing CD collection. Next to that shelf, his bed. Above his bed, POSTERS. Posters all over the wall, nearly hiding its original color, making it unrecognizable. All the posters were of bandmen. Some Megamasso, some old indies bands here and there. The posters mainly were of Reita from The Gazette. Of course it was Reita. He had been a fan of Reita for well over a decade at this point, making his love for the guy his entire personality.
To the corner of Jun's room was a dusty, practically dead CRT desktop. It still worked...just very badly. Jun restored the screen since it practically blinded him everytime he used it, but after that, he just gave up since he had no idea how to repair it, and no one in the country offered any good repair services either. Ever since, it's been rotting in Jun's room, watching as he uses his all-new laptop instead...
Back to Robohip.
He was laying down on Jun's bed alongside Jun himself.
Jun was nervous.
He tried everything, but he couldn't find a power on button no matter where he looked. In the back of his neck? In his lower back? Maybe a bit lower, over there? No. Nothing.
"Crap...is there really no power on button? Ugh...", Jun groaned, eyeing Robohip's back for any kind of information on how to use him.
Jun was desperate. Despite it all, he knew this robot had to work somehow.
In the middle of his desperation, he slapped the thing across his face, hoping it'd somehow work.
To his surprise, the robot gently opened its eyes behind its visor, which caught Jun's attention, making him practically pin Robohip down the bed, holding Robohip's hands above his head, mostly out of fear...but also as a kind of learned instinct.
"You're awake!", Jun squealed. His excitement was Robohip's fear, though. Waking up in a room full of hot men wasn't ideal for the poor machine...
Robohip then forced Jun's arms away from him, sat upright, and started scanning the room for any details. Mainly, this was just by him shooting a sort of laser grid out of his visor that went across the entire room. And then it suddenly stopped, and Robohip sat still.
Robohip then lifted his body up and off the bed and stared at Jun, getting closer to his face.
Jun was excited, but simultaneously TERRIFIED. Robohip had this stern expression, and he didn't say a single word. Then, he touched Jun's face to get a feel for it, and seconds later, he looked at the posters near him.
Jun nervously laughed. "Those are...uhm..."
"Posters. I know.", Robohip responded.
Jun gasped, and his shocked face quickly turned into a smile, which turned into laughter.
"What's so funny? Why are you laughing?"
"You're alive...and you're...good-looking..."
Jun quickly backed away to the corner of his bed and took a good, long look at Robohip's body.
He was toned. At least, Jun's definition of it. Jun was entranced by his 6-pack, and...hips. Maybe that's why they called him Robohip...of course, all that was just his inner monologue, so he didn't tell Robohip that he was incredibly sexy, even if he really really wanted to...
"Good-looking?"
"Y-yeah...for a robot at least..."
This was the best day of Jun's life.
Not knowing what to do, Jun just put his head in his hands, and kept giggling...
This was EVERYTHING to Jun. He finally had a real boyfriend...sort of. And it wasn't a poorly made chatbot, but rather a fully working robot! Whether he was Jun's type in terms of physique or personality was up for debate.
Jun eventually snapped back to reality, while a confused Robohip was still standing upright, watching him laugh. Then Jun caught his breath and decided to introduce himself to make things less awkward.
"My name's Jun Utahiroba, but just Jun's okay. I think my room tells you everything. I, uhm...I like cool guys a lot...and also robots...and rock music...and...my name's Jun!", Jun said, nervously laughing.
"I'm Robohip."
"And?"
"That's all you have to know."
"Nice...nice to meet you, Robohip..."
Suddenly, all the tension between the two was gone. Jun was blushing and giggling, and Robohip's cold demeanor started to fade.
Robohip made his way to Jun's bed where the two laid down facing each other.
Jun tried his best to be cute despite how Robohip looked a bit funny while being so close. He decided to scooch a bit further, getting a better view of Robohip. All that while being entirely silent, simply smiling and staring at Robohip directly in the eyes.
Robohip then adjusted his position by putting his hand beneath his head, lifting it above the pillow a bit.
"You said you like rock music, Jun...what exactly do you like about it?"
"Uhmmm...all the guys are just really cool. I was thinking about writing my college thesis on that sorta stuff...maybe how it affected the music industry...maybe how it helped me through my own life. I like The Gazette a lot, I guess..."
"Nice."
"You know, for a robot you're strangely...human, Robohip..."
"It's almost like I was molded after a real person and chose to get a conscience of my own."
"And you're sarcastic too! I like it..."
More awkward staring. But not for long!
Robohip started to grab Jun's left cheek with his hand, eventually making his way to his lips. Robohip kept playing around with Jun's lips for...a minute. Jun didn't really know what the best move was, so he just stood still and let Robohip do what he wanted to do. Maybe this was some mandatory procedure for Robohip?
Robohip got closer. He started to toy around with his face even more, but this time, there was practically no personal space. Robohip eventually let go of Jun's face and used his hand to play with Jun's pigtails instead.
All Robohip could see was a flustered Jun looking back at him.
"R...Robohip...what was that for?"
"I don't know."
"Y-you knooow! You touching my lips...why'd you do that!"
"I wanted to. Did you...not like it?"
"I did...I did...but you had me thinking you were gonna kiss me...or something..."
Robohip just shrugged. Jun was right.
He was going to kiss him, obviously.
But Robohip just wanted to mess with him.
Jun's smile started to fade into a frown, and he starting cupping his hands together to distract himself from getting any sadder.
Robohip shifted his focus to Jun's face instead. Maybe Jun took it too seriously...but he couldn't really make fun of Jun...after all, he's just sensitive. Really sensitive.
Of course, Jun has tried to hide it, eventually making himself seem cold and unpleasant...the opposite of what Jun wanted to be.
It was only when he discovered visual kei that he decided to embrace every aspect of him. His sensitivity, his self-bettering...and his fangirling. All the memories of the very first songs he listened to started flowing back to his head within this very moment...
Robohip let go of Jun's ponytails and grabbed the back of his head, pulling Jun quickly towards his lips.
Jun just closed his eyes and started to softly cry as he grabbed Robohip's chest. The random robot he found in the dumpster became his lover. It was that simple...
Strangely enough, Robohip's lips were...warm. It's almost like he made them warm on purpose. Maybe it was just some feature they gave Robohip before throwing him in a dumpster?
Robohip softly let go of Jun's lips and as he opened his eyes, he opened them to a softly weeping Jun. Jun hid his head in his hands again, with his crying only staying as quiet as he could allow it. Jun was happy. Very happy. His first kiss was one he had thought of throughout his life, during his bleakest moments, during his hardest nights...and it happened just as he liked it.
Jun slowly pulled his head up as he made his way to Robohip's chest again.
"Thank you."
Robohip put his arms around Jun, playing with his pigtails again.
"You're welcome."
The two kept holding each other tightly, and as Jun's sobs went silent, he slowly gained faith in life again.
A robot and a girly fanboy...destined by fate to forever be together. Written in the bandman posters of that very room was their unconventional love story.
Jun and Robohip. Meant to fall in love.
