Work Text:
As you were walking your cat on a leash, you started communicating with her through your head. She wasn't exactly looking at you but you knew she could totally understand you and that telepathy was a thing because why wouldn't it be? Anyways, you looked around the buildings that surrounded you in the city of Baltimore and spoke, continuing your previous argument which takes place a tiny bit before the author started writing the fic "if it's pink and has no legs it's a worm" you would say, reprimanding the puss for ever insinuating such insolent thoughts "what about a flushed handicapped child" her eyelids sheathed her moderately hydrated pearls and opened again as she stared right again, seemingly unbothered by your persistent stare.
A heavy sigh left your chest but swallowed your thoughts and kept walking with her in tow, well, more like you dragging her as she seemingly really hated her poopoo caca baby sized jacket. You rolled your eyes and star-
you got hit by a fucking car.
Yep.
That's the fic.
You died.
Anyways your cat pissed on your corpse to assert dominance and suddenly omg? No it can't be(British)! Is that famous cowboy with a very cowboy hat and cowboy gun and cowboy accent and cowboy eyes BootHill???? Omg 😱
You shot back up to your feet, defying death itself to throw yourself at your idol and crush. But before you could, your Molly (Warrior cats reference) dropkicked you square in the face, sending you back to Hades and Persephone again.
The Siamese meowled in anger "fuck off girlie sissypop he's mine!!" Or at least that's what you assumed she said before she jumped up to her hind legs and started humping the poor guy's very cowboys boot.
The end.