Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 27%

Impulse wasn’t avoiding people. Would someone avoiding people be having a game day with their friends? No, they would not.

“There you are! We were waiting forever,” Zedaph complained.

“Yeah, my bad, I was—” taking the long way around Bdubs— “finishing up my farm. Shall we go?”

Tango snorted. “Oh of course, our bad for holding you up.”

They left Hermitcraft laughing, and Impulse could almost forget about the whole thing. Almost, because they had to wait for Skizz at the edges of the Hub, and Impulse’s hand drifted to the crack in his jaw.

It wasn’t odd to see Players with scars. Player Code allowed cosmetic things like scars to linger or vanish depending on their wants. Player androids though, they were Code and Crafted, and fixing up a scar like that was a harder, more expensive task. It made a handy excuse for keeping it.

“Hey!” Skizz tumbled out of the crowd. “We really need to get better at this meeting up thing.”

“We didn’t have any issues, that sounds like a you problem,” Impulse stuffed his hands in his pockets. Skizz giggled and scooped up Zedaph and Tango for a tight hug.

“Yeah Skizz, it’s not like we live on a private server or anything!”

“Exactly! Why are you taking so long with your invite?”

“Jerks!” Skizz set them down and clasped hands with Impulse in lieu of a hug. “It’s good to see you again, it’s been a bit, huh?”

“Yeah, sorry. Third Life left us behind on plans,” Impulse said. His eyes landed on the tattoo on Skizz’s jaw, exactly the same as the crack on his. A show of solidarity, Skizz said. Impulse was glad for his support. He couldn’t put into words how amazing it was for someone to have his back over the whole thing, even after…

“Then we should get going! I found this awesome new game server, come on!” Skizz secured his grip and hauled Impulse through the Hub. Tango and Zedaph shouted and chased after them. Impulse and Skizz wove around as chaotically as they could, just to make it harder on them. Impulse didn’t know where the server was, but he did know where Tango was. Androids were hooked directly to the comm network and Tango was his best buddy. It was easy to poke the network and find TT200: Designation Tango, Tango Tek, lagging behind. And where Tango was, Zedaph wasn’t far.

Or that was how it usually went. Zedaph darted out of an alleyway. In the split second before the collision, Impulse automatically dropped into Processing mode. The world seemed to slow and fade into grays and blacks. If Impulse did nothing, Zedaph would knock him over. If Impulse let go or pulled back on Skizz, Zedaph would run into Skizz. Impulse dropped from Processing and braced.

“Ow!” Skizz complained. He skidded to a halt, making Impulse nearly run into him, while Zedaph bounced right off Skizz and nearly knocked someone else over.

“Whoops!” Zedaph laughed. “Teaches you to run off and leave us behind!”

“More like leave me behind!” Tango said from Zedaph’s comm.

“Now now, you had a very vital role in this operation! That you agreed to, by the way, so no complaining!”

“Yeah yeah, hurry up slacker, I get you. Hey guys! Crazy—” Tango jogged up. “—to meet you here.”

“You faked us out!” Impulse blurted. Of course, seeing Tango meant Tango could see him, and if he looked at a map and made some calculations while sending Zedaph on a shortcut… then ambush.

Tango adjusted his red-tinted glasses. “Yep. Just serving my position as GPS.”

“And what a lovely GPS you were! Where’s this game, Skizz?” Zedaph asked.

“Uh… oh, just over there! I totally took us on this chase and didn’t lose track of where we were going, nope.” Skizz led them over while they snickered at him.

“‘Lethal Company’? Skizz, what is this?” Impulse asked.

“Fun! You’re on a team collecting scrap and avoiding monsters, it’ll be great!”

“Oh boy, monsters!” Tango said. “Is this like, whoever gets the most wins, or…?”

“No no, it’s cooperative, I think.”

“He thinks.”

“I didn’t know he could do that,” Impulse said.

“Hey!”

The waiting room was packed. The four of them had to link arms just to stay together.

“How long is it going to take to get a game?” Tango asked quietly.

“I got us a reservation. We’re 60B.” Skizz looked worried. There were only two doors, on either side of the receptionist behind glass, one of which was the plain iron of employees only.

“I think the lobbies are in there.” Zedaph gestured to a fancy door. “Which means there’s more than can fit in here. I think we’ll be fine.”

“This place sure is popular…” Impulse said.

“It’s a new game. That doesn’t mean anything.” Tango shrugged.

Every couple minutes, a group would leave the fancy door and another would be called in by the receptionist. Impulse recognized the receptionist. That was his face.

Not anymore, the eyebrows weren’t nocked nor were the ears pierced, the hair was buzzed and almost-gray blonde, none of the teeth were fangs, and of course, the jaw was unscarred. But it was his once. And the body, big and solid, perfect for carving out mines and tanking damage from sly mobs, was even more his.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 38%

|| Thirium Pump: Anomaly Detected.

Impulse tentatively reached out through the comm network, the world flicking into familiar black and gray, “clicking” on the profile before him.

|| Model: SV300: Designation N/A. Serial: 9834573. Status: Online. Active. Working. Non-Player. Owner: Nerfeye. ERROR: You do not have permissions.

|| Impulse’s stress: Rising: 44%

Impulse jerked back into the real world. He tried to get his thirium pump under control.

Using androids had been falling out of use for years, fueled by the debate of ethics with the majority of androids being deviants and Players. Androids manufactured for work had their design changed, so the Player ones wouldn’t be mistaken for non-Players, but the androids already built who hadn’t deviated into Player status were left unchanged, assuming they would at some point. It’d been a long time since Impulse had seen a non-Player one, and he could have gone without it being an SV model.

I was like that once, Impulse thought. How many people still see me like that?

The second thought startled him. He’d been a Player and renowned member of Hermitcraft for years.

“You good?”

“Hm?” Impulse took his hand away from his scar and blinked into Skizz’s blue eyes. Tango and Zedaph were playing a game about finding more people wearing their signature colors than the other. “I’m fine.”

Skizz’s eyes narrowed. Impulse cursed to himself as his stress levels ticked up a few more percents. Skizz always knew when he lied. It was why he had to warn him about his betrayal outside of Third Life after all, so Skizz wouldn’t ruin the plan—

“I’m fine,” Impulse insisted. His eyes flicked to the SV300 and Skizz noticed.

“Oh. Yeah, if that’s weird for me, I don’t even know what it feels like for you.”

Impulse nodded. They were called in before he had to say anything, an employee, with horns in their skin not unlike Zedaph’s, who escorted a group out waiting to take them in.

Behind the fancy door, the hallway stretched in both directions and probably wrapped around the sides. A door was set in every other block. Tango began muttering about lag and processing power and other game-running related stats. Impulse smiled. If Tango was braver, he’d probably be questioning the employees and suggesting they cut down a bit.

The employee led them into Lobby 3. Impulse felt his LED flicker. Tango was the only one who seemed to notice, because his did the same and he looked around just like Impulse.

The lobby was mostly black, with a few items and a table. The set-up before the game started. The employee turned around to address them.

“Welcome to Lethal Company! Before we get started—” they did a double take at Impulse and Tango. Skizz pointedly cleared his throat.

“Deviant androids have been a common part of society for fifteen years, homie.”

The employee shook their head. “Right, sorry. I’ve been on single player for a while.”

Sure you have. Impulse felt bad for thinking that, but the employee lingered longer than necessary on him. He pursed his lips and stared at the table and its devices, hoping his hair hid his LED well enough.

The employee started again. “Welcome to Lethal Company! Before we get started, we have some rules to go over.”

They were standard rules. No hacking, no purposefully glitching the game, no smuggling things in your inventory, no purposeful harm to each other or the employees. There was one at the end that made Impulse raise his eyebrows.

“And finally, if you see a glitch, contact support—slash support or slash s on your comm—and inform them of the nature, location, and situation of the glitch, if you can. We’re having trouble with one that copies random assets of the game, so if you encounter it, use one of these.” The employee held up one of the devices. It was a bright orange metal stick with a black handle on one end and a prong sticking out of the other. A bold black button and a green and red switch were in the middle, opposite of a screen divided into four blocks

“This is a Glitch Stick. Whatever the copied asset is, just press the prong here against it, make sure the Stick is on, and press the button as rapidly as you can. Using it on a functioning asset may cause more glitches or even a crash, so only use it if you know for sure. DO NOT, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, use it on a Player. You’ll be fine if it’s an accident and you only hit the button a couple times, but any more than that and we’ll have to bring the Admins in to untangle your code from the trash bin and you have to pay a fine. They only have four charges each, to prevent abuse, so use them wisely. And that’s everything, are there any questions?”

All four of them stared at the unfazed employee.

“There’s a major glitch and you haven’t closed down to debug?” Tango demanded.

The employee shrugged. “We’re really popular. Our server’s Admins are working on the problem right now. I think the activity is helping them isolate it?”

“Or maybe there’s too much activity and the system can’t handle it?” Tango’s red and mismatched eyes narrowed.

The employee shrugged again. “I just work here. Don’t get mad at me. I can hook you up with the manager though.”

|| Tango’s Stress: Rising: 42%

Impulse nudged at him in the network.

|| From SV300: Designation Impulse: Calm down.

|| From TT200: Designation Tango, Tango Tek: Yeah, yeah, sorry man.

“It’s fine. I guess if they’re looking into it…”

“Wouldn’t be the first time we’ve played a buggy game,” Zedaph said brightly. “Goodness, no game on Hermitcraft goes smoothly the first few dozen times!”

The employee’s eyes widened at the name drop and they looked at Zedaph with realization.

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Tango, creator of many a minigame, muttered.

“If you don’t want to stick them, you don’t have to. It’s just better for the experience if you have the option.” The employee passed them out. The handle was warm with charge and shifted to fit his hand. He hefted the weight of it. It was both comforting and worrying. He put it in his inventory, unsure if he wanted to use it.

“It says here you have a reservation for one game?”

“That’s correct,” Skizz said.

“Perfect. One game is three rounds, so you should be in there for about an hour. Now.” They cleared their throat and straightened up. “Welcome new employees to the Company. Your job is to explore abandoned moon facilities for scrap. You have three days to fill a quota but be warned! The facilities may have been taken over by hostile native life. Pressing the bestiary button on your comm in a five block radius of the creatures will give you information on them, but only if you’re willing to go that close. The terminals can give you other information and you can input commands into them. A clipboard will give you those instructions once inside. You can only visit one moon a day, so choose wisely. You will be revived after each round, but for a fee if your body is not recovered. If you all die, you lose everything you gathered that day. Your ship will leave at midnight, regardless if you are alive, and that is also a loss of money. Failure to fill your quota and drop it off at the Company is losing the whole game. Ready for your first mission?”

The four of them gave a disjointed chorus of agreements, from “yeah, sure,” to “yessir!” with various amounts of saluting involved.

“Make the Company proud.” The employee left. The lobby loaded into the game; the inside of a cramped spaceship. On one wall were tiny bunks and a locker shelf; taking up most of the front next to the bunks were two bulky computers. Two small screens above one said “Profit Quota: 0/130” and “Deadline: 3 days”. Across from the locker shelf was a rack of different colored suits with gas masks. The back was a closed heavy door.

“Alright! Let’s go!” Skizz cheered, wearing a green suit and all but his eyes hidden behind the mask.

“Geez, not a lot of room, huh?” Tango surveyed the spaceship. His tinted sunglasses, an item and not a feature of his skin, were gone with their rest of their inventories now. “We’re getting to know each other real well in here, if you know what I mean.”

|| Impulse’s Stress: Lowering: 30%

Impulse laughed. The gas mask felt a little weird, cosmetic but solid, adding a layer of reality to the game. He didn’t think it would get in the way. It felt really weird to have his inventory shrunk to four though. “I’ll say. There are only three bunks.”

“Ooo, someone’s sleeping on the floor?” Zedaph said. “Not it!”

“Not it!” Impulse and Skizz chorused.

“No—oh come on!”

“You’re pretty small, you can probably fit in the locker there,” Impulse said. Tango gave him a disgruntled look.

“Yeah, no thanks. I’ll sneak into Zed’s bed or something.”

“You can get in my bed any day,” Zedaph joked. Skizz laughed along with them before getting serious.

“Okay, we gotta figure this out.” Skizz picked up the clipboard, flipped through two pages, and put it down. “We don’t need that.”

Impulse looked in the locker. It was empty, perfect for storing their scrap, and poked through the suits. There were four colors, and tugging the yellow one revealed they were not limited one to one.

“Hey guys, how do I look?”

“Nice.” Tango looked at the suits. Grumbling, he switched his from yellow to orange. “Zed, Skizz, the options are green or pajamas.”

“I’ll keep my pajamas, thank you,” Zed said. “They match me best.”

“Hey! Blue’s my color, gimme,” Skizz said.

“Well green certainly isn’t mine! And these have yellow on them!”

“You can both be pajama wearing weirdos,” Impulse suggested.

“Oh, but then they’re doubling up, and that’s just tacky. They gotta fight it out,” Tango said.

A round of pick, iron, lava later, Skizz ended up with the pajamas. Zedaph sighed dramatically and took the green one.

“We can share,” Impulse offered.

“Thank you, but it is probably better not to get mixed up with each other, huh?” Zedaph inspected his new color. “It’s not half-bad. For a hazmat suit. I’ll live.”

“We should probably stop goofing off.” Tango took his turn poking at the terminals. “I found the moons. Which one do we go to?”

They crowded around.

“I don’t like the sound of Experimentation. That sounds like all sorts of nasty things waiting to jump us,” Tango said.

“Oh yeah. Maybe Assurance?” Impulse said.

“Mm, sounds like it’s trying too hard,” Skizz said.

“Oh, and Vow doesn’t?” Zedaph said. “I say we try one of the harder ones, just to see. Look, Offense isn’t trying to cover up! It’s being perfectly honest with us.”

“I like the sound of Vow,” Impulse said quietly.

“Vow sounds good to me,” Skizz declared.

“Oh, very well. Tango?”

“Vow it is.” After a couple false starts, he input the correct command. “You did notice Assurance has the lower hazard level though, right?”

The three exchanged looks.

“It’s an adventure?” Zedaph suggested.

“Pfft, we’re newbies! We’re going to fail whatever moon we try!” Impulse declared.

“Your faith is astounding,” Zedaph said dryly. “But Vow we go!”

I hope this vow goes better than the last one.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 35%

Chapter Text

Vow was a lush moon. Impulse leaned over the railing, watching the trees come up around them.

“Oh hey, we can buy flashlights! Should we buy flashlights?” Tango called.

“Yes!” Impulse said. “Do that!”

“Flashlightificating!”

“I feel much more comfortable with green now.” Zedaph surveyed the moon.

A little tune sounded and a rocket strung with lights landed just outside.

“What the—is that Christmas music?” Skizz said.

“Christmas came early I guess,” Impulse said. He hopped off the ship and picked up a flashlight. “Ready guys?”

The entrance was nowhere in sight.

“We should split—oof!”

“Impulse-look-out!”

Tango slammed into Impulse’s back, knocking them to the ground. Static sounded. Impulse scrambled to his feet, searching for red, red eyes.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 40%

Tango was laying on the ground, face down and eyes hidden.

“Top! You okay?” Skizz knelt to help him up. Tango groaned.

“Goodness gracious me, that is a nasty glitch.” Zedaph put his hands on his hips.

A glitch?

Impulse looked at the tree right behind Tango, where he was standing a second ago.

Oh right. There’s a glitch.

“You good Impy?” Tango asked, looking up at Impulse with red eyes. Impulse had to remind himself that Tango’s eyes were always red. They were off Third Life, there shouldn’t be a ring of color.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Stable: 36%

His LED went back to blue and he nodded. “Yeah, just startled me. Thanks, man.”

“Yep. That’s what friends do, right?”

“Of course.”

Tango accepted Skizz’s hand up and yelped.

“What the—the tree’s eating me!”

“What?”

|| Tango’s Stress: Rising: 35%

Tango may have gotten Impulse out of the way, but the tree glitch had spawned right on his leg. He was stuck.

“Hold on, we have something for this!” Zedaph poked the glitched tree. “Ready? A-three, a-two, a-one—”

Click-click-click-click-click-zzt!

The tree glitched back out of existence. They all breathed a sigh of relief and Tango got far away from the tree.

“Are you okay?” Zedaph asked.

Tango went still, probably running a diagnostic scan but Impulse couldn’t see his LED to be sure. He rubbed his forehead, a place Impulse realized with a start was over his own, much older crack.

“Yeah, I’m fine, don’t worry about me! Let’s find this entrance, huh?”

It took some looking to find the entrance. They split up until Tango called for them.

“Oh! I found it! Press the button on your glove!”

There was a button on his glove. Impulse didn’t know how he didn’t notice that, he was usually better about that stuff. Pressing it sent out waves of blue light, “scanning” for the door. Following the notification pop-up met him with Zedaph at a tiny bridge.

“Does scanning look like that for you?” Zedaph asked.

“No. It’s more black and gray,” Impulse said.

Skizz was out of earshot, and Impulse volunteered to go back and get him. Zedaph promised to wait for them at the door and they split again.

It didn’t take long to find Skizz, he was only just out of range, and Impulse brought him back to the others. Halfway across the bridge though, it fell apart.

Impulse lay on the ground, trying to calm his racing pump.

“Ow! What the heck?” Skizz yelled.

“Oh no! Are you okay?” Tango shouted down.

“We’re fine.” Impulse got himself together. “I guess there’s a weight limit?”

“You calling me fat?” Skizz accepted Impulse’s hand. “Is there a way outta this?”

“They’re running the game with a glitch so massive they have to give their players extra weapons, I don’t think this is a finished game,” Tango scoffed.

“I’m sure there has to be. We’ll look for one, you go ahead and we’ll meet you inside!” Impulse ordered. Zedaph and Tango vanished from the edge.

He took two steps and the fog cleared to show a solid structure spanning the ditch. He and Skizz stared at it for a minute.

“We’re so stupid.”

Impulse laughed. A few steps closer and they found a red door marked “Fire Exit” in the dam-like bridge.

“Good! This is really good, they had us worried for a second there.” Skizz nudged Impulse and opened the door. It slammed shut faster than Impulse was expecting and he opened it to follow.

“Oh wow, it’s dark,” Skizz grumbled. Impulse blinked around. It wasn’t so bad. It felt comforting, actually. It wasn’t much like the caves he’d spent his pre-Player days in, but the understanding that he was underground was. He toggled his vision, revealing whoever set the lighting hadn’t accounted for androids. He decided to keep it low, to go along with the aesthetic. They flicked on their flashlights.

“Oh hey, a big screw.” Impulse picked it up. He was down to only one slot. “Do you think it’s worth finding the entrance?”

“Let’s just look around, Top and Bop wouldn’t have stayed there. We can use the fire exit to leave on our own if we have to.”

“Only if there’s a way out of the ditch.”

“We didn’t check out the other direction, there’s probably a way there.”

They walked through the facility. Straight, dark hallways lined with pipes and branching off into the unknown. Impulse got another bolt and Skizz found a pair of gears on either end of a pole that kept him from picking anything else up. It glitched as Skizz picked it up and Impulse was quick to stick it, leaving them with the original scrap.

“If we’re sticking together one of us should have left our Glitch Stick at the ship,” Skizz grumbled.

“I’m not sure if that’s the best idea,” Impulse said.

“Come on, we’ve barely seen—WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?”

A giant bug, almost like a fly, flew out of a hallway right in front of them.

“Run!” Impulse yelped. He turned tail.

It didn’t follow them, thankfully. Even more thankfully, they heard Zedaph and Tango. Less thankfully, they were screaming.

“Hey! Hey, guys! Where are you?” Impulse shouted.

“Impulse?”

“Ghghghgh! Over here! Ack!”

“AH! It’s so fast!”

Skizz hefted his axle. “What’s so fast?”

Impulse shrugged and sped up. They turned the corner into a horror show.

“What is that?”

That was a tall mannequin, the neck a spring and arms ending at the elbows. Tango and Zedaph were standing before it, taking turns backing up.

“A ‘coil-head’, apparently.” Zedaph flashed his comm. “Tell me the door’s back there.”

“I didn’t see one, but there’s more hallways,” Impulse said. “What makes it attack?”

“Not looking at it! And it counts blinks, so hurry up! Even androids have limits!”

Impulse turned around just in time to see something duck around the corner.

“What was that?”

“A coil-head, didn’t you hear?” Tango snarked.

“No, I saw something hide…” Impulse dared to look around the corner for the flash of orange. There was nothing there but an open door to the stairs. “I found the stairs.”

“Ah, perfect! We came down those,” Zedaph said. “So we’re going to back up, nice and easy, until we can shut the door on this, and hope it doesn’t know how to open them.”

“I’m betting it can.”

“This is an easy moon, Tango.”

“This is bugged to Void is what it is. Zed’s Glitch Stick is already empty, we kept getting weird bug thing doubles!”

“There has to be a weapon we can use. I’m looking on the terminal when we get back.” Impulse returned. “Okay, I have eyes on it, you guys get over here. Let me know when you’re in the stairwell.”

The coil-head wasn’t pretty to look at. It was busted up and perfectly still, as though it had never moved a pixel in its life. Having everyone run past him as he stayed just as still was even more unnerving and he fought the urge to check they weren’t leaving him behind.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 43%

The clattering of boots stopped.

“I’m good to go?” Impulse asked.

“Yes, but—” More footsteps, going further—

Impulse didn’t mean to. It was reflex, glancing over his shoulder, checking they were there and the “but” didn’t mean anything bad. Only for half a second, but that was almost too much.

The coil-head stood mere pixels away from him. Its head bobbled. Even androids needed to breathe, and Impulse’s servos warmed suddenly.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 48%

|| Ventilation: Anomaly Detected

|| Internal Temperature: Rising

All his friends yelped his name.

“Oh, he’s still alive! You good?” Tango asked.

Impulse remembered how to breathe. “Yeah, totally.”

It was right there. He almost—

“Okay, good,” Zedaph said. “Now, what you need to do is back around the corner. We’re watching for it too, don’t worry.”

Impulse took a deep breath, held it, and scooted backward. One hand on the wall guided him around it. The moment the coil-head disappeared from sight, it reappeared, peeking around the corner so smoothly and stopping so suddenly it was uncanny.

“Good! Hurry up and get in here!” Skizz whisper-shouted. Impulse didn’t dare turn his back to it though, and kept backing up until his shoulders were grabbed.

“GAH!” Impulse jerked away.

“Sorry! I was trying to help,” Skizz apologized. Impulse glanced over his shoulder. Was the coil-head leaning further around the corner?

“You’re good, you’re good,” Impulse squeezed through the crowded door. “Everyone back up.”

They spread out over the landing, until only Tango was in the door. He grabbed the knob and slammed it shut. He hurried over to Zedaph and they all watched the door with bated breaths. It appeared in the little window but made no move to open the door.

“Testing time,” Zedaph announced. “Everyone look away and back right… now!”

Impulse glanced to the floor and back up. He rubbed at his mask over the crack. A scenario flickered through his head, of it swinging the easily moved door open and being right there when he looked. Color flushed the world again. The coil-head definitely moved, but the door stayed solidly shut.

They cheered.

“Take that, you stupid—jerk spring—no, that’s not right,” Tango said.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Lowering: 42%

Impulse laughed quietly and glanced around. Tango’s stress was forty percent and dropping, and Zedaph and Skizz were lower and dropping too.

“Let’s get out of here.”

“Good idea. Up or down?” Zedaph asked.

“Down,” Tango said. “We came from up, and all we found—Zed, show them.”

Zedaph obediently held up a rubber duck. Impulse and Skizz laughed.

“Maybe you missed something, check out all we got!” Skizz said.

“Great work! I’m not going back on that floor for more,” Tango said.

Impulse glanced at the door they were still too close for comfort to. “We should take these back to the ship, right? What time is it?”

“No idea, but we only just entered,” Zedaph said. “I don’t think the map’s that big.”

“It’s big enough. Hey, how’d you get in?” Tango asked.

“Fire exit, in a second bridge. Did you see it?” Impulse asked.

“Nope, we went right in like you told us,” Tango said. “I’m guessing the exit is on that floor?”

“Correct. Please tell me you remember the entrance,” Skizz pleaded.

“I think so. Want to give us your stuff and we can drop it off while you two lucky ducks keep exploring?” Tango asked.

“That sounds like a bad idea,” Skizz said. “Doesn’t that sound bad?”

“I dunno, but we know where the door is and you have all the luck, so.”

“I think it’ll be fine,” Zedaph backed him up. “There’s only three floors it looks like and this middle one has the nasty guy. Taking you all the way up just to go all the way back down sounds like wasting time.”

“Then I’m cool with it if Impy is,” Skizz agreed.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Impulse said after a moment. He didn’t like them splitting up again, but they needed as much time as possible. “See you, I guess.”

“If we don’t find you first,” Tango joked. His eyes were red—they were always red, stop it. Tango wasn’t even his enemy in Third Life.

Neither was Bdubs.

“Good luck! Don’t get eaten by bugs!” Skizz sent them off. He turned to Impulse. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

The final floor didn’t have an immediate threat. Impulse ran his flashlight around the hall and stepped out, Skizz close behind.

“So far so good…” Skizz said slowly.

“Careful; don’t jinx us.” Impulse tripped over a bell. “Oh sweet.”

A disk on the floor ahead of them, with a blinking red light, discouraged them from continuing forward.

“Left or right?” Impulse asked. A blue sludge oozed from the right. “Uh…”

“What’s that?” Skizz hefted his Glitch Stick.

“Let me try.” Impulse didn’t have a comm. He thought it would work anyway. The sludge moved slowly enough he felt confident to stand before it and duck into the comm network. The world slowed and drained of color. He looked through his mental commands for a bestiary button but didn’t find it. Frowning, he tried to “click” on the sludge. He only got the dull “thump” of no access. There was a thread of code floating around him for the information Tango and Zedaph already collected, but it wasn’t able to connect with him enough to add his own.

He tried a few more things and none of them worked. He retreated, all his efforts expended in a matter of milliseconds. He backed up to Skizz.

“I don’t think they made this with androids in mind.”

“What?” Skizz gave him a startled look.

“I can’t use the bestiary. I can see it, but I can’t use it.”

Skizz scowled. “Seriously?”

Impulse shrugged. “You’ll have to do it.”

“Do you want to stop playing?” Skizz asked. “We can find something else, it’s fine.”

“…No. It’s fine, I can still do everything else,” Impulse said. He felt weird as he said it.

Skizz gave him a long look. “Impul—!”

The sludge glitched.

“Look out!” Impulse grabbed Skizz and yanked him back, just before the copy could push the original into him.

“Gah! Thanks.” Skizz pressed the bestiary button as they backed up. “‘Hydrodere.’ Hostile, slow, oh yikes, it kills you just by touching!”

Impulse and Skizz took a few more steps away down the left hall.

“Can be jumped, may be distracted by music? Like, do we start singing or is there a jukebox somewhere?”

“We’ll have to find it later.” Impulse gauged the gap between the hydroderes. “I’m getting rid of the other one.”

“What?”

Impulse jumped, nearly slipping into the second, but he jabbed the Glitch Stick into it. He pressed the button as fast as he could. His LED flickered until it vanished. He didn’t have time to sigh in relief until he jumped the original hydrodere, which reversed to kill him.

“Whew.”

“Impulse!”

“What? I’m fine. Let’s go before it glitches again.”

There was a door they slipped through that stopped the hydrodere.

“A screw!” Skizz picked it up. “How much do you think all of this is worth?”

Impulse shrugged.

The room they were in didn’t have a floor, just two catwalks. Breaks in the railings and a jutting support beam suggested they could jump the distance. A cookie pan said they should.

“Should we?” Skizz wondered.

“I say yes. I want to meet up with Tango and Zed again, better to have as much loot as we can find,” Impulse said.

“Okay. I’m gonna try.”

“You? I jumped the sludge,” Impulse said, amused.

“Yeah, now it’s my turn to do something stupid. If I fall, tell Top and Bop it’s your fault.”

Impulse scoffed. Skizz psyched himself up and jumped with a scream. He made it, which he gloated over as he picked up the pan.

“Now you gotta do it again,” Impulse said.

“Nah. I’m gonna use this door.” Skizz opened it. “Probably should have done that in the first—whoa!” He slammed the door.

“What?”

“I saw something dude! Don’t know what it was, but I saw it!”

“Did it duck around the corner too fast?” Impulse asked. He scanned the gap and made the calculations.

“Yeah! Wait, you saw something earlier, didn’t you? Think this is it?” Skizz moved aside. Impulse made the jump easily.

“Yeah. I want to see what it is.” Impulse peered through the door. The something was peeking back around until it saw Impulse. It ducked back, but not fast enough. Two white dots and an undefined dark figure. Impulse frowned. “I don’t think that was the same thing.”

“It wasn’t?”

Impulse slowly shook his head. “No. That one was… I think orange. Maybe red?”

“Okay. And why are you going toward it?”

“I want to see. It seems to be running,” Impulse said.

“It could be a trap.” Skizz followed anyway.

“I’m just looking around this corner and then we’ll go,” Impulse promised. He peered around the corner.

It was a dead end, so he could catch the creature in his flashlight easily. It was taller than him, though not as much as the coil-head. It wasn’t black like he assumed but a dark red, casting doubt if he really saw something else earlier. Spikes stuck out its back, making it even bigger. It bounced in place.

“It’s… kinda cute?” Impulse said.

“Sure. Weird but cute.” Skizz leaned around him. “Ready to run?”

Impulse lingered, watching it for any sign of aggression. It lunged.

“Run!” Impulse bolted.

“Go go go!” Skizz shoved him ahead. Impulse dove into the catwalk room and barreled to the jump, expecting Skizz to close the door. “AUG—”

“Skizz!” Impulse turned around. Through the open door, Skizz was on the floor and the monster loomed over him. It stared Impulse down.

Impulse slammed the door. He froze.

He wanted to run out and grab Skizz, but he didn’t have weapons and line of sight didn’t stop it.

And it might be too late.

Impulse swung the door open for a peek. The monster—and Skizz—were gone.

I guess that solves that.

“Sorry Skizz. I’m not running around with that thing,” Impulse whispered. He swiped at his crack. He jumped the gap and peeked out through the door. The hydrodere had wandered off now. Good. Impulse didn’t want to walk around without someone watching his back.

|| Thirium Pump: Anomaly Detected.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 48%

Impulse edged out, searching the hallways for any sign of danger.

The stair door opened.

“Impy? Skizz?”

“Tango?” Impulse gasped.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Stable: 48%

Tango’s flashlight was off, probably not toggling his light levels like Impulse did. His eyes, red and smiling, both encouraged and warned Impulse.

“There you are! We gotta go.” Tango ducked back through the door.

“Tango!” Impulse hurried after him. Tango leaned on the railing a landing up.

“Hurry!”

“I’m coming!” Impulse ran up the stairs. The coil-head was still looming on the other side of the door. “Where’s Zed?”

“Waiting.”

“Oh, good. I thought… I thought he was gone too.”

“Too? Where’s Skizz?” Tango pushed off the railing. The stairs were only wide enough for one person at a time, and Tango gestured for him to go first. Impulse didn’t, not right away. Shame bubbled up inside.

“Gone,” Impulse’s voice cracked. “There was this—this thing, it was red and spiky and didn’t stop because we looked at it.”

“Oh. Skizz…”

“Yeah. I didn’t have a choice,” Impulse pleaded.

“Whoa, hey, I know you didn’t!” Tango held up his hands. “I know you’d never abandon us.”

|| Impulse’s Stress: Lowering: 40%

“Come on, we’re running out of time,” Tango continued. He pushed Impulse’s shoulder, sending him up the stairs.

“Right, right. He’ll come back in the next round anyway,” Impulse said, mostly to reassure himself.

“Yep. You all will.”

“Yeah, yeah, so it’ll be—wait, what—"

A door opened below him. He spun around and was thrown into spectator mode. The coil-head released his head, twisted at a sickening angle, and Tango ducked through the door before it could turn on him.

Impulse was still gaping when the game teleported him to Zedaph, hovering over his shoulder like a bee on a lead.

“Please don’t kill me, spooky, scary, monstermajigs,” Zedaph whispered. His flashlight was clutched in his hand like a club. It had to be dead, Zedaph wasn’t stupid enough to turn it off for no reason.

“What the Void was that?” Impulse blurted.

“Dipple dop? Aw man, you died too? What happened?” Skizz asked.

“Skizz?” Impulse tried to look around but couldn’t move much.

“Right here dude! I don’t think we can see each other.”

“I’m sorry! I-I didn’t mean to leave you—”

“Don’t worry about it. Better we die now than lose a lot of stuff, right? Did that bouncer get you too? I leave your POV for five seconds!”

“The coil…” Impulse trailed off. The coil-head. The coil-head behind the door, the door Tango opened. White hot rage boiled up. “That-that—!”

Zedaph screamed. A bug, different to the flying one, dropped from the ceiling and wrapped around his face. He ran around, flashing red, until he went limp. Impulse was thrown to Tango, and just as quickly Tango died, the same monster that killed Skizz jumping him and dragging him away. A cutscene unfolded of the ship lifting off on its own, electronic words typed across his vision telling him they didn’t return to the ship by midnight and automatic measures were taken.

2 DAYS LEFT TO MEET PROFIT QUOTA

Chapter Text

Impulse blinked, shaking off the slight disorientation from switching gamemodes.

“Gah! Where’d that thing even come from?”

Tango. Tango.

“What the Void?” Impulse burst.

“I know! That was so—ghghgak!”

Impulse shoved Tango. He stumbled so hard he hit the wall. Skizz and Zedaph started yelling. Impulse glared into those damned red eyes.

“What was that for? What’d I ever do to you?” Impulse demanded.

“Wha—excuse me? You’re the one who shoved me into a wall for no reason!” Tango straightened, back still to the wall. Impulse could just see the light from his LED, and it vanished into his hair as it turned yellow.

“You know why! What’d you set that coil-head on me for?”

“I never set no coil-head on you! You mean when you helped us get around the corner?”

“No! When you set it on me to get through the door!” Impulse stepped closer, intending—he wasn’t sure, looming over the much smaller and lighter android, but Skizz grabbed his arms and pulled him away. He wasn’t nearly strong enough, but Impulse couldn’t fight when he realized Skizz was begging him to calm down.

“Dipple Dop, please—yeah, yeah, over—yeah, good. All good?”

“No! No all good!” Tango shoved off the wall, right past Zedaph’s reaching arms.

|| Tango’s Stress: Rising: 63%

He stopped halfway to Impulse, eyes glowing; casting everything within, mask, glass, skin, and the crack running up from his eye in red, red, red. A high-pitched whirring further irritated Impulse’s attitude.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 58%

“I don’t know what world you’re living in, but I have no idea what you’re talking about, and you don’t get to throw me around about it! The Void’s your problem! You volunteered to watch it while we went through! Then we had your back and you throw mine against the wall for it?”

“I’m not talking about that!” Impulse yelled back. “I’m talking about when the coil-head killed me because you opened the door! The door you said not to open again!”

“What are you talking about? I never saw that coil-head again!”

“Yeah, because you set it on me!”

“HEY!”

Skizz shoved between them—when had they gotten so close—and pushed them apart. “Impulse! Stand over by the door. Tango, by the computers. Now.”

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 59%

Impulse seethed but took two steps back. Tango did the same, glaring just as hard and breathing even harder, his servos, always prone to overheating, whirring loud enough to be heard. Impulse felt a flash of worry about his friend.

But he set me up!

“Okay. One at a time, we are going to, calmly, explain what happened with big boy words.” Skizz glared between them. Zedaph looked between them, unmoved from his spot. “Got it? Okay. Impulse. Why are you mad at Tango Top?”

“He killed me!” Impulse’s voice turned whinier than he meant. He traced his crack, faster and faster as he wound up. “I was leaving after the thing attacked you, Skizz, he came down to get me because he and Zed were leaving, and he opened the door while my back was turned! I saw him sneaking away while I died!”

“What are you talking about?” Tango shrieked.  

“Stop playing inno—”

“Impulse! Your turn is done. Tango, what’s your story?” Skizz turned to face Tango. His set jaw made the tattoo stand out more than usual. Impulse’s jaw clenched too, stretching the edges of his crack.

|| Skizzleman’s Stress: Rising: 40%

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 63%

Tango spluttered and waved his hands around before speaking. “Zed and I went upstairs, dumped everything at the door, got split by bugs, and then I died to sneak-behind-nonsense! And then I get backstabbed by this guy—”

“I’m not a backstabber!” He wasn’t. He wasn’t. He was the one who got backstabbed. Dogwarts didn’t count. It didn’t. He told Skizz, he told him, and-and-and—!

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 68%

“Well one of us is and it’s not me! I didn’t go down! I wasn’t even near the stairs! Tell him, Zed!”

|| Zedaph’s Stress: Rising: 51%

“He was with me,” Zedaph spoke. “I—we did get split up, but it was only for a couple minutes! That couldn’t have been enough time. Wait, how big is the map again?”

“ZEDAPH!”

“I don’t know!” Zedaph buried his face in his hands. “You’re both yelling and I don’t know what the facts are!”

|| Zedaph’s Stress: Rising: 56%

“The facts are I didn’t go down and Impy’s mad he died to a stupid monster!”

“A monster you released!”

“Okay, guys, reel it in—"

“Why would I do that? Huh? Why would I kill you on purpose and scream I never did it?” Tango tried to stalk forward but Skizz swung an arm in the way. Impulse could laugh. Try, little maintenance droid. Just try. I dare you.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 71%

“Because-because you hate this game and you want us to stop!”

“You hear him? He doesn’t even know!”

“Have you heard yourself? You’ve done nothing but complain about how dumb this game is—”

“No, I haven’t! I’m mad it’s buggy but it’s not a stupid game—"

“—So you sabotaged us!”

Tango burst into shrill laughter. “You really think so low of me? That I don’t care? Well news flash, I care! I care way too much about you sorry losers, apparently!”

“TANGO!” Zedaph gasped. Impulse faltered. Tears ran down Zedaph’s face and he was shaking.

|| Zedaph’s Stress: Rising: 60%

|| Skizzleman’s Stress: Rising: 57%

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 75%

|| Tango’s Stress: Rising: 79%

Skizz’s arms were out but shaking and his eyes welled with tears too. Tango wheezed and nearly doubled over with the stress of his servos, as high-pitched as his laugh. Impulse’s LED ached red and he couldn’t get enough air through his system. The switch for warning tears tried to trigger, but Impulse had disabled it after Third Life. His jaw hurt, and Impulse forced his hand by his side.

For several long moments, each counted by his internal clock he couldn’t look away from, the only sound was breathing and sniffles. It was broken by Tango giggling.

“I didn’t do it.” Tango turned off his ability to cry a long time ago, because the damaged eye Zedaph couldn’t fix all the way malfunctioned when he tried. It was on now though, spilling from his whole eye and making the other twitch. Tango clutched his mask, right above his eyes. “I didn’t.”

“I saw you.” Impulse’s voice cracked. “I talked with you. I touched you. You. Let. It. Out.”

Tango just shook his head.

Zedaph cleared his throat. “Maybe—I know this is a sensitive thing, but maybe trade memories?”

An awkward silence fell over them.

“You know what? Sure. We’re best buds, aren’t we, Impy?” Tango’s eyes curved with a smile.

Impulse’s LED throbbed again.

“Fine. Show me what you did from separating from Zed to dying.” Impulse held out his hand. They’d done this before, but never had Impulse wanted to tear out his own thirium pump over touching Tango. Skizz backed up and Tango stepped in, firmly clasping Impulse’s arm; they fell instinctively into grabbing their forearms in the secure and gentle way they always did. They both stiffened up, but Impulse wasn’t going to be the one to back down. He stared into Tango’s eyes, still glowing, and pulled back his synthetic skin, opening up to a connection.

He waited. And waited.

“Any time now, Tango.”

“I’m trying!” Tango’s eyebrows went down. “It’s not going through! Don’t give me that look, you try showing me what happened!”

“Fine,” Impulse said through gritted teeth. He dug into his memory, that Universe-made hybrid of Player Code and Crafted databanks. He found the moment he saw Tango in the basement and the moment he was thrown to Zedaph, collected everything between, and shoved it to Tango—

“Wait.” Impulse shoved again, and again. “It’s not working!”

“See!” Tango let go. “It’s these stupid suits!”

Impulse pulled at his glove. It didn’t come off. It wasn’t a skin but it was bound to his Code until he left the server anyway. The weight immersed him in the game but kept them from the direct contact they needed.

Skizz took a deep breath. “Okay. We’ll leave and you’ll do it outside. Or we’ll do it the usual way, find a Videoloader and—”

“Oh no!” Tango pointed at Impulse without looking at him. “I’m not letting him walk away thinking he’s right! Stupid—we’re finishing this game! And we’re going to Assurance!”

Tango stalked to the computers and slammed the commands in. The other three were left in awkward silence.

“Should we try sticking all together or splitting up again?” Zedaph asked quietly.

“I don’t want to stick with Tango,” Impulse muttered.

“Oh good! I don’t want to stay with you either!”

Impulse winced. He meant to keep that to himself… mostly.

Skizz dragged a hand down his mask. Impulse winced again. He looked so disappointed. His LED flickered.

“Fine. Fine. Top, you’re with me this time. Zeddle Bop, go with Impulse. Sound good?”

Impulse hunched in on himself and nodded. The ship landed.

--

Assurance was a dry and rocky place, like a mesa, except less colorful and more foreboding. Or maybe that was just the mood of its Players.

“We don’t have enough money for flashlights,” Tango announced. “Does someone need to check my math?”

“We believe you,” Skizz said. “Let’s just go and find this loot!”

He was trying really hard to pump them up, and Impulse wished he could say it worked.

He knew what he saw. He knew that was Tango—but Tango was so insistent it wasn’t him and his accusations kept running through Impulse’s head. He was starting to doubt that he really saw Tango, that maybe he had some internal glitch that made him think so. A diagnostic scan didn’t show anything odd other than his stress levels.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Stable: 51%

Impulse hit the button in his glove and watched the blue flicker. It was an awkward hike to the entrance, behind several spires and up a short ladder. The ladder glitched while Impulse was climbing, almost dropping him on Tango and making Skizz stick it.

“Well, here we are!” Zedaph said brightly. “You go left, we’ll go right?”

“Sounds good to me! What about you guys?” Skizz asked.

“Yeah, sure,” Tango muttered.

“Works for me,” Impulse tried to put some cheer in his voice.

“Good luck!” And then Zedaph dragged him through the right door.

It was a standard hallway, with more branching off, most of them dead ends. Impulse bumped up his brightness, just a little, to make up for not having a flashlight. At least there was another open spot in his limited inventory. One that was quickly filled with a metal sheet.

Impulse knocked on a heavy metal door. There wasn’t a button or a lever. He opened his mouth to ask Zedaph what he thought.

“It wasn’t Tango.”

“Huh?” Impulse turned around. Zedaph’s brow was furrowed and he played with the bolt in his hands.

“It wasn’t Tango. He pokes at people and he bluffs about himself, but it’s all jokes and knows we know it’s all jokes, and he always saves the worst for himself. He wouldn’t work behind our backs to kick us out of a game. Even if he hated it with all his guts, he’d go along and grumble about it, and then we’d try something else if he was serious. He’s not being serious. Those are the facts, are they not?”

Impulse didn’t know what to say. “I know what I saw.”

“We don’t know what’s in here,” Zedaph said. “There must be a monster that can mimic people. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was improperly coded and that’s where all these glitches are from.”

“It was a really good copy then. He talked to me about you.”

“I don’t know! I’m just spitballing. I know neither of you would attack the other for no reason. Oh my, this feels like a sign.” Zedaph picked up a stop sign. “Oof! It’s got some heft to it!”

“Want me to take it?” Impulse offered.

Zedaph hefted it. “Nah, I’m good. It’s not like that axle Skizz had.”

“Oh good, because that—AHH!”

The hallway was suddenly replaced with brown segments and little legs, and Impulse’s health started ticking down.

“Ah! Impulse!” Zedaph’s voice was muffled.

“Help!” Impulse tried to cry. Where was Zedaph? He shoved at the bug, but he’d seen Zedaph die to this darn thing before, how was he supposed to get it off?

“Ah! Ah! What do I do? What do I do? Impulse, I don’t know what to do!”

“Anything!”

|| Thirium Pump: Anomaly Detected

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 55%

WHACK! WHACK!

The bug shrieked and fell off. Impulse stumbled against the wall. The bug lay still at his feet with all of Impulse’s items, and Zedaph stood before him with the stop sign raised.

“Thanks! What’d you do?” Impulse asked.

“I just—I hit it with the sign!” Zedaph gasped and clutched the stop sign to his chest. His eyes were practically sparkling. “I have a weapon! Impulse, I have a weapon!”

|| Impulse’s Stress: Lowering: 48%

“Good for you, buddy.” Impulse playfully edged away. Zedaph giggled manically.

“This is mine. We’re not selling this.”

“We better find a lot more then.” Impulse picked everything up and they continued. Zedaph proudly led the way, sign raised for carnage, until he tripped over a crate of bottles.

“Oof!” Zedaph picked it up and immediately dropped it. “I can’t carry this! It needs two hands.”

“Then you take my stuff.” Impulse traded the metal sheet for the crate. “Should we drop this off and come back or what?”

“Let’s keep going! I have a weapon, Impulse!” Zedaph struck out, Impulse following with a smile. “How do you think Skizz and Tango are doing?”

The smile dropped. “I don’t know. Hopefully still alive.”

“If they’re together, they’ll be fine. I was fine until I split from—Tango?”

Zedaph stopped. Over his head, Impulse saw Tango jog across the hallway.

“I thought they went…” Impulse trailed off.

“Tango?” Zedaph peered around the corner.

“Zed? Oh hey, I was looking for you!” Tango turned around and waved. Impulse poked at him through the network.

|| Model: TT200: Designation Tango, Tango Tek. Serial: 2472014. Status: Online. Active. Player. ALERT: Messaging is not allowed in this area.

Not a monster then.

“Well you weren’t looking very hard, you walked right by us!” Zedaph said.

“Where’s Skizz?” Impulse asked.

“I have no idea. He was right behind me, then I turned around and bam! Empty hallway. I’ve been wandering around trying to find anyone since.”

“Right…” Impulse said doubtfully.

“Really!” Tango insisted. “Augh, I hope it wasn’t that sneak-behind thing that got me last time, I don’t want to be near that thing ever again.”

“Me neither,” Impulse admitted. “That got Skizz last time too.”

“Oh, no way? Our team was doomed from the start then. Whatcha got there, Zed?”

“A weapon!” Zedaph gleefully told Tango all about killing the bug. Tango cackled like he always did, no sign of backstabbing again, and congratulated him.

“That’s perfect! Super perfect. Here, come over here, I found a fly nest. They have so much loot, if you kill them we can take it all!” Tango jogged back across the hallway.

“Really?” Zedaph asked.

“Really! And they’re pretty chill actually, so we can get pretty close.” Tango opened a door and ducked through.

On the other side, the hallway had turned into catwalks and stairs. Three flying bugs were clustered only a few blocks away, around two bolts and an eggbeater.

“See? Easy pickings.”

“You want us to go toward the monsters?” Impulse narrowed his eyes.

Tango held up his hands. “Look, Impy, I know you don’t trust me. I swear, I don’t know what you saw, but I’m trying to prove myself here! Please? I’ll even be the distraction.”

Tango’s red eyes pleaded with him. Impulse slowly nodded.

“Well, I guess—”

A door across the catwalk opened.

“—is a maze dude, is it too much to ask for a map?” Skizz complained. “Oh hey! We—what?”

Skizz looked behind him. Tango followed him through.

Wait. Tango?

“And I’m telling you, we haven’t been… over…” Tango stared. Tango stared back. “What the f—”

The Tango Impulse and Zedaph were following snatched up both bolts and threw them at the pairs. The bugs lunged. Impulse stumbled backward, slamming into the door. Zedaph swung his sign around wildly. All the bugs glitched into two. Tango and Skizz were cut off mid scream, their bodies falling to the floor. Impulse flung the door open and hesitated. The last time he left like this, Skizz died, but Skizz was already dead and so was Tango and oh Void what was that thing—Zedaph had a weapon, he’d be fine, right? Or did Impulse wait? Should he run and just leave the door open?

“Ack! There’s so—” Zedaph fell.

“Sorry!” Impulse gasped. The bugs were on him before he could close the door and he wasted time trying. His health ticked, ticked, ticked down, until he was dead merely three steps from the door.

--

1 DAY LEFT TO MEET PROFIT QUOTA

--

They were quiet when they respawned in.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 55%

|| Skizzleman’s Stress: Rising: 46%

|| Zedaph’s Stress: Rising: 48%

|| Tango’s Stress: Rising: 60%

The whine of overstressed servos broke it.

“WHAT WAS THAT?” Skizz yelled. Tango wheezed and staggered into him; he caught Tango under the arms and made him sit.

Impulse felt frozen. He kept hopping into Processing mode and replaying the last two minutes.

“Skizz,” Zedaph held his head. “Tango was with you the whole time?”

“Yes!”

“But… But Tango said…” Impulse trailed off. Tango was with Skizz. Tango wasn’t with Skizz. How could both be true at the same time? How could there be two Tangos?

“My face!” Tango choked. “My—that dude had my face!”

“And he killed us!”

“I knew it! I knew there had to be a mimicking monster!” Zedaph punched his hand, looking pleased.

Impulse jolted. Tango killed him. Tango swore he didn’t.

|| Thirium Pump: Anomaly Detected.

“Oh no,” Impulse whispered. “Tango, I’m so sorry! I blamed the wrong person; you were right, you didn’t kill me.”

Tango laughed deliriously. “Oh no, no, it’s fine, it’s fine! I-I saw that and thought it was me too! I—henh. My face.”

Skizz rubbed his back. “That’s just mean. It killed all of us right off the bat, and it got Impulse twice! Easy moons my butt!”

“Impulse was right,” Tango mumbled. “I do think this is a stupid game.”

“That… is really poor balancing…” Zedaph knelt next to Tango and placed a hand on his chest. “Breathe, deep breaths, count them, you’re overheating.”

“Oh no way, I didn’t—” Tango wheezed— “notice!”

Impulse slowly joined his friends on the floor, guilt hacking into every inch of his Code. He blamed an innocent person. He hurt Tango.

I’m no better than Bdubs.

Impulse poked at Tango through the comm network.

|| Model: TT200: Designation Tango, Tango Tek. Serial: 2472014. Status: Online. Active. Player. WARNING: INTERNAL TEMPERATURE: OVERHEATING. ALERT: Messaging is not allowed in this area.

“Only suspicious thing was separating from Skizz, but even that’s not that suspicious,” Zedaph said. “How were we supposed to know unless we all stuck together?”

“It had your profile,” Impulse remembered. They looked at him.

“What?” Zedaph asked.

“The other Tango, it had Tango’s profile. Exactly his profile.”

“You’re sure?” Zedaph pressed.

“I know what I—” Impulse hesitated. “I’m pretty sure. I specifically thought he wasn’t a monster because of it.”

“And I never pressed my bestiary button. Did you?” Zedaph asked.

“It doesn’t work for androids. No physical comm, remember?” Impulse said.

“What? Why didn’t you say anything?” Zedaph turned to Tango. Tango shrugged.

“I never tried. You had it handled.”

“Great. So it can’t be a monster, profiles are freaking sacred and illegal to mess with. What is it then?” Skizz wondered.

They went quiet again as they thought, Tango’s servos still loud but actively cooling down. Impulse traced his crack until he caught himself and switched to fiddling with the Glitch Stick, the only thing that stayed in his inventory. A possibility popped into his head and he dismissed it. It wasn’t possible.

“It could.” Tango stopped. “It could be the glitch.”

“No, it can’t. Glitches can’t mimic Players,” Impulse said.

“I’m an android.”

“So? You’re still a Player!” Skizz insisted.

Zedaph nodded. “Exactly! Glitches can affect Players, yes, but us Players are very complex and free-thinking. We’re not bound to easily understood AI rules and programming. A glitch couldn’t possibly mimic that so well!”

“I do have programming! I just don’t listen to it! That’s what makes a deviant,” Tango insisted.

“It’s not programming if you choose not to obey it! That’s why you’re a Player, dude! Impulse, back me up,” Skizz said.

Impulse opened his mouth and stopped.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 60%

“Well what else could it be?” Tango demanded, before Impulse could figure out what the heaviness in his chest was. “Absolutely nothing!”

“What if they are doing something illegal?” Zedaph wondered. “What if they did copy your profile?”

Silence reigned again, but this time they were all gaping at Zedaph.

“Why?” Impulse finally asked. The thought of someone taking his profile—that was his identity. Even as a worker droid it was subtly unique, and now it was proof that he was a Player, a person, someone with rights and feelings and free will, and the thought that someone would take that almost made him crash. Even B—He couldn’t imagine what Tango felt about it.

“I don’t know! Why do criminals do anything? Maybe they thought the monster would be cool and didn’t care, maybe it’s just one guy stealing identities for kicks, it could be anything really.” Zedaph looked as disturbed by the idea as Impulse was.

Tango wheezed, servos threatening to overheat again. “My face?”

|| Tango’s Stress: Rising: 68%

“I’m contacting support.” Skizz announced, stony-faced. “And I’m telling ya, they better have a darn good reason for this, or we’re leaving immediately and telling the Admins.”

Skizz tapped away at his comm, letting Tango’s shoulder go as he did. Zedaph leaned into Tango, wrapping an arm over his shoulders. Impulse almost took over Skizz’s place, the way he normally would have done, but he couldn’t convince himself to move. He stared at Tango’s eyes, the only part of him he could see, so red and squinted and wet with tears warning of high stress, moving heat, and messing up his eye.

“You should turn your tears off,” Impulse said quietly. “It’s not worth it. You said so.”

Zedaph pulled back and peered into Tango’s eyes. “Hey, yeah. When’d you turn it back on? Why?”

Tango shrugged. “Eh. After Third Life. Just… wanted to try it again. See if it held up, you know. It’s kinda weird when everyone else can cry and I can’t, you know?”

“It is?” Zedaph asked.

“Doc has his turned off,” Impulse said. “And…” And so do I.

“I mean… yeah… but…” Tango shook his head. “Never mind, I’ll turn them off.”

Tango’s eyes closed. His LED was hidden by his hair, but Impulse caught a glimpse of the light flickering, a barely visible yellow. It stabilized, still yellow, and he opened his eyes, no longer crying, just rubbing his forehead with vacant eyes.

Skizz smacked his comm. “Come on, respond alrea—whoa!”

“What?” Impulse asked. He leaned to the side to get a look.

“It just glitched out for a second. I thought these things were supposed to be durable. Oh hey, a response.” Skizz cleared his throat. “‘Apologies for the inconvenience—’ yeah, an ‘inconvenience’— ‘it appears the glitch has affected your teammate directly. It has been found and deleted. We are working on the problem. Thank you for informing us. Here is a coupon for another game. Have fun.’ Hm.”

“How?” Zedaph demanded. Tango stared blankly into the corner.

“Maybe it just… picked up what he did and it just happened to work?” Impulse suggested.

“It could still be illegal shady stuff,” Skizz said. “Just saying.”

Tango scoffed. “A game this buggy? I believe it.”

“It could be bugged because there’s illegal shady stuff,” Zedaph argued.

“That would be obvious though, right?” Impulse said. He wasn’t sure which was more likely—Zedaph was right, they weren’t bound to a set of programming, but there was plenty of code that learned. It wasn’t too far out to assume it could mirror Tango in such a way if it glitched. Especially since there was still programming buried inside them, programming that could and did affect deviants. Impulse was always happiest underground. Tango was a wiz with code-like redstone. Impulse tentatively voiced the theory. Tango nodded along like it made perfect sense, but Skizz and Zedaph looked less so.

“I mean… I guess… How long has this place been up, Skizz?”

“Uh… a couple months, I think. Today’s the first I’m hearing of bugs.”

“So… if there was illegal shady stuff going on, it’s probably not tied to the glitch,” Zedaph said slowly. “Which means it could be a wildly out of control glitch of a learning machine to, I don’t know, force players to adapt? Which would be a smart addition for more experienced Players, actually.” Zedaph frowned as he thought. “And that does sound better than mocking the Players they’re stealing identities from…”

Impulse Processed that. He wasn’t very good at calculating, but it all seemed eighty-seven percent sound. One could never rule out stupidity, even in criminals, but stupidity in game developers was very likely.

“Hooray. Should we leave? No one’s having any fun and there’s no way we’re getting all the scrap in one round,” Skizz didn’t put his comm away, poised to exit.

“It’s just one round. We can try it,” Tango said. He sat up, Zedaph’s arm falling away as he did. “Impulse said it himself. No way we were winning anyway.”

“That’s—yeah, sure, let’s finish it off just so we can say we did,” Impulse said.

Skizz and Zedaph exchanged looks. Impulse couldn’t read them and he glanced at Tango, who didn’t seem to have a better idea than him.

“Well if Tapy is gone, then I guess the game should be fun again.” Skizz put his comm away.

“What?” Impulse asked.

“Tapy! You know, Tango Copy?”

Impulse chuckled, then laughed. It was such a Skizz name and it felt like a return to normalcy with it. Skizz beamed at their laughter.

“Should we try Assurance again, or do we want to go with Experimentation?”

“Assurance is good. We were surviving pretty well until Tapy showed up,” Tango had a smile and Impulse hadn’t realized how dead Tango’s voice was until he was back to normal.

“Assurance it is! Tango, would you like to do the honors?” Skizz stood and gestured grandly at the computers.

“Oh, it would be my pleasure.” Tango bowed.

“Let’s all stick together this time, guys,” Impulse said. “For maximum fun.”

He still felt horribly upset, and little did he know he was about to get worse.

Chapter Text

Now that they knew where the entrance was and that Tango was innocent, it was a much easier trip. Not as easy for Impulse as it seemed for the others; guilt was still eating him alive. Every step, his words echoed in his head, mixed with Bdubs’ until he needed to peek into his memory banks to sort it out.

“Oh hey, loot!” Tango picked up a bolt right by the front door.

Impulse packaged his thoughts in a shulker box and tossed it in a chest. “Great job!”

“Yeah, it was sooo hard,” Tango snarked. “I’m just gonna drop this outside.”

“You okay, buddy?” Skizz asked.

“Yeah, of course.” Impulse smiled. Skizz and Zedaph looked less than impressed. Tango reentered, cutting off further questions.

“Which direction?”

“We went to the sides before. Let’s go straight!” Zedaph pointed at the center, across from them, and marched ahead.

It was fairly nice. Tango and Impulse ended up taking the lead, their android eyes better for the darkness. They found another bolt, an axle, a metal sheet, and a rubber duck, got spooked by possibly a monstrous dog in a doorless room they all agreed to stay far away from, Tango had to use his Glitch Stick on the blinking floor discs, they ran from a flying bug, and Zedaph got his weapon back.

“What’s a stop sign doing in here?” Skizz asked, picking it up. Zedaph gasped.

“Mine! Me, me, me, gimme!” He made grabby hands.

Skizz chuckled and handed it over. “I mean, if you really want it.”

“Yes!” Zedaph danced in victory, coming dangerously close to smacking Impulse in the head. “My weapon has returned to me!”

“Whoa, wait. Weapon? Skizz, you just gave Zed a weapon?” Tango joked.

“Yeah, my bad. It was nice knowing you!”

“Hey! I’ll have you know, I am perfectly responsible,” Zedaph declared.

“He killed a bug that attacked me,” Impulse said. “Didn’t we—oh, right. That was Tapy.” It wasn’t Tango Zedaph gushed about his weapon to, and then they were too concerned about Tapy and Zedaph lost it anyway.

“Jerk,” Skizz muttered.

“Jerk face,” Tango added on.

“The jerkiest of jerk faces!” Zedaph giggled. He skipped ahead. “And if I see him again, I’m gonna—gahaha!”

Something in the hall he passed rattled, firing pixel-sized projectiles at Zedaph. He jumped back, but not before getting hit and flashing red.

“Zedaph!” Impulse grabbed his arm and pulled him back further.

“I’m fine! I’m fine! My health is good,” Zedaph assured. Impulse dropped into Processing and scanned him over. His stress levels were already falling and his health wasn’t done by as much as all the flashing suggested. Tango popped up next to him, scanning as well. Zedaph swiped away the pinpricks of blood welling up. Alerting his Code he recognized the damage, the bleeding halted, unless he ignored it for too long or was injured again.

“So don’t go that way. Got it.” Skizz turned around.

“Really don’t go that way,” Zedaph stressed. “Ouchies, what was that?”

“Let’s not find out.” Tango pushed Zedaph ahead before he could try his bestiary button. Impulse squeezed past to be the eyes again while Tango stuck to Zedaph’s side.

Impulse inspected the options. There was the way they came from, with their own branching hallways and rooms they could go back and explore. There were also two more hallways, untouched aside from a quick peek when they first found this intersection. One led over a catwalk, the other was a few steps before the stairs.

“We still want to stay on this floor?” Impulse asked. He got a chorus of agreement, one, two, three, four voices almost at the same—four?

Impulse turned around. Tango was next to Zedaph, turning around as well. Tango was also behind the two.

Impulse Processed. Questions of how battled with what do I do for his processing power.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 62%

Time felt slower when he hit the high processing speed, but it wasn’t really. Before Skizz could shout and Tango and Zedaph could move, Tapy grabbed Tango and hauled him away.

“HEY!”

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 69%

“Oh no you don’t!” Impulse exited Processing and lunged. Zedaph swung at the same time, smacking Impulse upside the head and sending him into the wall.

“Impulse! I’m so sorry! I meant that guy!” Zedaph gasped.

Impulse shook his head—health was down, but not that low and everything inside was where it was supposed to be, the bigger problem was the rising stress and Tango—

“Hey! Let go! You piece of—” Tango was hauled into a dead end and cut off with a door slam.

Door? There wasn’t a door there.

Except there was, when the three of them charged around the corner. The muffled sounds of a scuffle came from behind it, and Skizz threw it open.

Tango and Tapy were down a level, still grappling. Impulse thought for a moment the Tango trying to run was the real one, but both of them had a grip on the other.

“Guys! Help!” one pleaded, holding the front of the other’s suit.

“Don’t you try that, faker!” the Tango with a hold on the tubes from the first Tango’s mask said. “Guys, he’s trying to run off!”

Impulse, Skizz, and Zedaph hesitated.

“How do we tell which one’s the real one?” Skizz asked. He held his Glitch Stick in his hand and pointed it between them. Two charges left, and Impulse knew the employee’s warning was as loud in Skizz’s head as his. They had to get this right.

|| Model: TT200: Designation Tango, Tango Tek. Serial: 2472014. Status: Online. Active. Player. ALERT: Messaging is not allowed in this area.

|| Model: TT200: Designation Tango, Tango Tek. Serial: 2472014. Status: Online. Active. Player. ALERT: Messaging is not allowed in this area.

“I have the cookie pan!” The second Tango used one hand to toss it on the ground.

“Hey!” And a second cookie pan joined it.

“Would the glitch respawn with us?” Zedaph asked, cautiously raising his sign.

“Zedaph!” Both Tangos stopped fighting to yell at him.

“We could leave?” Impulse suggested.

“You can’t leave me with this!” the two Tangos yelped at the same time.

“No!” Impulse wasn’t leaving. Not this time. He wasn’t letting Tango get hurt. “I mean leave the game. It’s a glitch in the game, right? We can just leave.”

|| Impulse’s Stress: Lowering: 65%

|| Skizzleman’s Stress: Lowering: 59%

|| Zedaph’s Stress: Lowering: 64%

|| Tango’s Stress: Lowering: 89% Friend? WARNING: CRITICAL LEVELS APPROACHING

|| Tango’s Stress: Stable: 77% Friend?

“Oh yeah, great idea! Let’s go, Top!” Skizz pulled out his comm. Hitting the disconnect button caused static to flicker over the screen and in the server. “What the—”

Impulse “clicked” the equivalent in his Code, not needing the medium of a button.

ERROR: UNABLE TO COMPLETE YOUR REQUEST AT THIS TIME.

Impulse shook away the static and Processed, trying again. Again, an error and static.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 70%

“Oh no,” the second Tango moaned.

“I can’t contact support either!” Zedaph tucked his sign in the crook of his arm and started mashing buttons.

“What team were you on in Third Life?” Impulse blurted.

“What?” the second Tango said.

“Team Crastle! It was Team Crastle!”

Skizz pointed the Glitch Stick at the second Tango. “Well that was easy. Say goodbye, Tapy—"

“Cleo and Bdubs!” Tapy blurted. “It was Cleo and Bdubs and you, Impulse, and we teamed with the Sand People and the new guys, in the flower valley!”

“The cow blackmailers.”

“Ye—how do you know that?”

The two Tangos glared at each other.

“Oh no,” Impulse whispered. It got worse. How did it get worse?

“What—how—” Skizz pointed the Glitch Stick between them again.

“Copied the memory banks?” Zedaph muttered. “How do you even get access—”

“This is fine!” Tango—Impulse was starting to lose track of which one was the ‘first’ Tango—said quickly. “This is—we’ll just stay calm, and-and there’s a way to figure this out! There has to—"

The static surged into glitches, and when it ended and Impulse felt like he was going to throw up a meal he couldn’t eat, he was alone.

--

He wasn’t alone for long; the doors led to copies of the same stairs, holding his friends. There was no way to tell which was the real room, let alone Tango, not when glitching monsters were rapidly closing in.

Impulse Processed. He had no choice.

“Run!”

Impulse could only hope they could regroup and ditch Tapy. Maybe they could get to the ship?

If we can even find our way out of here…

The stairwell wasn’t the only room copied. Doors didn’t quite match up, rooms clipped into each other, shelves overflowed and floors cluttered with duplicate items, he’d run through repeating spaces until it changed and tripped him up. The map was a mess.

And that wasn’t getting into the monsters. Hydroderes, spiders, hide-behinds, flies, bugs, giant lizards, they kept popping up, twitching with glitches so much the original was obvious even if he never saw the action itself.

Lag stuttered his steps, what little light flickered, the high-pitched static and low demands for his thirium clashed in horrible symphony, and he couldn’t even Process.

|| Thirium Pump: Anomaly Detected

|| Ventilation: Anomaly Detected

! WARNING

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 80% WARNING: CRITICAL LEVELS APPROACHING

Impulse squeezed through mismatched doors, just barely ahead of three spiders, about the usual size but a sickening brown color. He was sure they could squeeze through the narrow space, he could and he was much bigger than them, and he gasped a prayer of relief when the new room had a door he could slam.

It appeared to be a dead end, which was bad, but it was empty. Impulse wedged into the corner to think and Process.

Comforting high-speed computing power washed the world with steady blacks and grays. System notices tried again to be the center of his attention but he shoved them aside.

What do we do? What do I do?

The first thing he thought of was letting the monsters kill him, forcing a respawn back into the lobby, but he had to discard it. With how glitchy everything was, not even letting them leave on their own, he couldn’t be sure it would work. He’d heard horror stories of what happened to Players in situations like this, where everything was so broken even Crash Hibernation couldn’t save their Code. An Admin untangling him from the server’s code was the best case scenario.

Impulse remembered his Glitch Stick and pulled it out.

Two charges left. Zedaph had none for almost the whole game. Last he checked, Skizz had two and he didn’t know how much Tango had. There was no way he could put a dent in all the monsters and map craziness, but if he could find Tapy—

And how am I supposed to do that?

—it brought him back to the first problem. Who was Tango? How was he supposed to tell which was really his best friend?

Processing came up with only one answer:

Stick them both.

Impulse reared in shock so hard he left Processing.

Stick them both.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 88% WARNING: CRITICAL LEVELS APPROACHING

! WARNING

Impulse doubled over, shaking. What kind of best friend was he? Not able to tell the difference between a Player and a glitch, his best friend and a malfunction, only able to doom Tango to the trash bin to stop Tapy?

Why not? Players have no problems throwing us away. They already think we’re just malfunctions.

! WARNING

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 90% WARNING: CRITICAL LEVELS: 10% TO CRASH

“Not like Bdubs!” Impulse gasped. “I can’t—I can’t turn out like Bdubs! I can’t!”

He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t dispose of his ride-or-die—of a living Player and friend—like a piece of rotten flesh just because it let him get a little closer to the top. He wouldn’t. He’d find a way to get all four of them out.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Lowering: 89% WARNING: CRITICAL LEVELS APPROACHING

! WARNING

Impulse let out a breath. He had a goal. He had his lines. Now. What did he do about it?

Impulse realized he’d been out of Processing for a while. He couldn’t hear the spiders outside. He peered through the little window and confirmed the way was clear. He hoped nothing bad happened to his friends while he was panicking over the stupidest idea he’d ever had.

There was only one way to find out.

--

The room was empty, but not for long. A swarm of flies flew through the door. They didn’t seem immediately hostile, just like Tapy said, but that didn’t mean anything when they soon filled the room. Impulse quickly shut the door.

Two charges weren’t enough. He was tempted to hide out in the dead end, but that felt like a bad idea. If there was anything that could open doors he wanted another way out. And he needed to find his friends. If anything happened to them when he could stop it—or worse, if they left him behind because they couldn’t find him—

Impulse peered through the door window. They looked easy enough to push through. Impulse was designed to shrug off attacks. Not forever, before he deviated there was a SY model with his crew to fend off the monsters of the caves, but there would always be mobs that slipped through the cracks and he had to stand up to those. He could probably apply that ability here.

Impulse breathed a few times, working as much heat out of his system as possible, stuck his Glitch Stick in his inventory so it wouldn’t get in the way, and flung the door open.

The flies didn’t notice him at first. Impulse gripped the doorframe and shoved off of it.

Cover the vitals, shoulders go first, and don’t stop for anything.

Impulse charged past the flies. They buzzed angrily but couldn’t catch him, just bouncing off. Impulse grinned. It was working!

The hallway was perpendicular to the door and he smacked into the wall.

Impulse stumbled back, nearly into a glitching fly. He got the glitched one with his second-to-last before it could harm him and ducked through the space it provided, diving through an open door and slamming it shut before the flies could catch up.

What greeted him was a floor of bug corpses and the reason there were so many fleeing.

“Impulse!” Zedaph cried out. THWACK! A fly dropped, joining its fellows on the floor. “Oh finally, a person!”

|| Impulse’s Stress: Lowering: 87% WARNING: CRITICAL LEVELS APPROACHING

“Zed!” Impulse barreled over and accepted the tight hug he was given. Zedaph bounced back before it could get too uncomfortable.

“Have you seen anyone else?”

“No, you’re the first. Nice work,” Impulse admired. Zedaph puffed out his chest and swung his sign over his shoulder. Miraculously, he only had one new scratch and it was mild enough it wasn’t still bleeding.

“I know, I’m a natural, aren’t I?” The smile dropped. “We need to find Skizz and Tango—the real Tango—and figure a way out.”

“I know. Just how are we supposed to do that?” Impulse pleaded.

Zedaph stared at him blankly. “I was kinda hoping you would know.”

Impulse’s synthetic skin crawled. He shook his head. “I got nothing.”

“Then we find both of them anyway and keep an eye on them. Someone’s bound to come up with something eventually. Or maybe the Mods will realize something’s wrong and solve it for us.” Zedaph nodded.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Lowering: 85% WARNING: CRITICAL LEVELS APPROACHING

“Perfect.”

With a plan in place, all that was left to do was find their friends. Skizz wasn’t hard to find either. The staircase they entered glitched and he fell screaming practically into their laps. Impulse fumbled his Glitch Stick and mostly caught Skizz.

“Let go of me, you—oh hey Dipple Dop!”

“Hey Skizz,” Impulse smiled.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Lowering: 80% WARNING: CRITICAL LEVELS APPROACHING

“Hello hello!” Zedaph waved his sign, keeping it well away from either of them. “Have you seen Tango?”

“No! What are we going to do? It’s got his memories and everything, there’s gotta be some kind of weakness. Some-some crack in its façade. Right?”

“Sure there is!” Impulse tried to stay upbeat. “If nothing else it’s in his Code, and when the Mods notice something’s wrong they’ll sort it out.”

Unless the Mods also think the best plan is to nuke them both.

“So we stall. Good idea, good idea.” Skizz nodded. “Man, I can’t imagine what this is like for Tango.”

Impulse seized the distraction. “Like seeing your model still mindless working, but worse. Just guessing.”

“Ooo yeah. It must be weird enough to see your face. To have your memories and all your bits?” Zedaph shuddered. Skizz was giving him a sympathetic look that Impulse wasn’t sure if he should ignore.

“How much charge do you have?” Impulse showed his Glitch Stick and the single charge.

“I’m all out! I got my revenge on a hide-behind though.” Skizz looked very pleased with himself.

“They’re called brackens!” Zedaph showed off his glitchy comm. “They don’t like being looked at or being cornered.”

“I think we figured that part out, funnily enough,” Impulse said dryly. “What’s upstairs like?”

“Horrible. There’s more brackets or whatever their faces are.”

“Downstairs it is.” Impulse hefted his Glitch Stick and led the way.

It was shockingly quiet. Impulse kept his senses on high alert, but all the monsters seemed to be left upstairs.

“Where’d they all go?” Skizz whispered.

“There’s something going on here,” Zedaph whispered seriously. “I was half health and fought off a whole hoarde of flies with only another heart of damage.”

“Hey yeah, I got close enough to that bracket to stick it! Dipple Dop, what about you?”

Impulse frowned. “I don’t know. I barreled past all those flies earlier, but I’m made for that.” He lifted his Glitch Stick as he peered around a corner.

“Huh? Oh yes, you’re a mining model—you’re bleeding!”

“What?” Impulse looked where Zedaph was pointing. Sure enough, there was a rip in his side, with a blue stain slowly traveling down to his boot. Notices crowded his vision again, informing him he’d been injured for a while and he certainly would have noticed the amount of thirium loss soon if his friends hadn’t first. Natural regen was turned off in this server and Impulse didn’t know if that was on purpose or not. “Oh. I didn’t… notice that.”

|| Thirium: Leak Detected

|| Thirium Pump: Anomaly Detected

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 85% WARNING: CRITICAL LEVELS APPROACHING

“That’s good, right? It’s not too bad then?” Skizz asked. He tugged at the rip to get a better look and the stain traveled faster. More notices popped up. “I’m so sorry!”

“Don’t worry about it! Don’t, just—” Impulse tried to maneuver his suit to apply pressure to it.

“Here.” Before Skizz could do something like rip the sleeves off his suit—Impulse was honestly impressed it lasted this long—two pairs of footsteps sounded, coming down two different hallways.

“That’s not monsters,” Zedaph gripped his sign.

“They’re both coming,” Impulse said.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 88% WARNING: CRITICAL LEVELS APPROACHING

The left one showed up first, red eyes wild and servos whining. He skidded to a halt at the sight of them.

“I’m the real Tango!” he blurted. “I swear, the other’s the fake, I don’t know how to—”

The second Tango stumbled to a halt next to the first, just as heated and frantic. “Hey! I’m the real Tango!”

! WARNING

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 90% WARNING: CRITICAL LEVELS: 10% TO CRASH

! WARNING

Impulse flung his arms in front of his friends, shielding them, if the glitch decided this was a situation Tango would attack in.

“Shut up!” Zedaph shouted. “No fighting, we’re just going to sit here and wait for the Mods to figure this out. Okay?”

The second Tango, the one on the right, laughed hollowly. “Are they going to notice?”

“It can’t be that hard to pick out a glitch. We’re friends. There’s only so much it can get right,” the left Tango said. “Impy, how much of a charge do you have?”

“One,” Impulse said.

“It’s the only one we have, and we’re not risking getting the wrong one anyway,” Skizz said firmly.

“I can’t believe this.” The right Tango went to grab his hair but slipped off the helmet. “How can something mimic me so well, my best friends can’t even tell who’s me?”

“Why don’t you tell me?” the left Tango demanded. “Guys, I don’t think the Mods are going to do anything. There’s way too much glitchificating, we could be waiting hours and by then monsters might have killed us and broken our Code.”

Impulse hesitated. “But—”

Left Tango interrupted. “I know you can tell the difference. It’s the biggest glitch so taking it out might tone down everything else. You’ve got this. You guys are my best friends!”

“Please,” right Tango pleaded. “I—I don’t know what’s going on, but I hate this. Just—please, get this copy out of here! I can’t-I can’t—”

Impulse looked between them, barely able to breathe, he was so torn. Zedaph and Skizz were hesitating and silent behind him. He was the only one with a charge, he was the only one who could really make a call, who to stick and if he should stick.

The latter question was a no-brainer. He wanted to get rid of the glitch. He hated not trusting his best friend. But who was his best friend? Which one did he trust? Could Impulse be trusted with this?

The world turned black and white. He absorbed as much information as he could. If he couldn’t tell the difference, fine, he’d go with Zedaph’s plan and they’d lock up in a room. If he could though…

! WARNING

|| Ventilation: Anomaly Detected

|| Internal Temperature: Rising

|| Thirium Pump: Anomaly Detected

|| Thirium: Leak Detected

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 91% WARNING: CRITICAL LEVELS: 9% TO CRASH

! WARNING

|| Skizzleman’s Stress: Rising: 83%

|| Zedaph’s Stress: Rising: 77%

! WARNING

|| Tango’s Stress: Stable: 42% Tango?

|| Tango’s Stress: Rising: 87% Tango? WARNING: CRITICAL LEVELS APPROACHING

Impulse pushed harder, digging into code as much as his limited permissions allowed.

! WARNING

|| Tango? Friend. Danger Spotted.

|| Tango? Friend. Danger Spotted.

! WARNING

And for nothing. The only difference he could find was in stress levels, how was that enough?

“Impulse,” the left Tango, the calmer Tango, said. “It’s okay, dude. You got this. I know you won’t betray me. You won’t be like Bdubs.”

Impulse physically reared back. Skizz grabbed his shoulders, holding him steady.

“Impulse…?”

“I won’t,” Impulse half-agreed, half-pleaded. He dropped his shield to lift the Glitch Stick. His nails dug into his jaw crack so hard it hurt.

“Where does Bdubs come into this?” the right Tango, the more panicked one, demanded.

“You got this Impulse,” the left Tango insisted. “I trust you. I know you’ll get the right one.”

The right Tango was quick to pick up, but not that quick. “We’re best buddies! You know that’s Tapy, right?”

Impulse pointed the Glitch Stick at the right Tango, resolve slowly growing in him, goaded on by the left Tango’s—the real Tango’s—confidence in him.

For a moment that stretched as long as though he Processed, no one moved.

“Oh. Of course.” Something shifted in Tapy’s mismatched eyes that made guilt surge in Impulse despite him trying to keep it down. “Of course. Why-why should I have expected anything different?”

|| Tapy’s Stress: Rising: 93% WARNING: CRITICAL LEVELS: 7% TO CRASH

“Impulse…?” Zedaph whispered. Skizz’s hand was still tight on Impulse’s arm.

“See? The game’s up. You can’t mess with a friendship like this,” Tango smirked and stepped away, giving Impulse plenty of room to move.

Tapy choked on either a laugh or a sob. “Yeah, sure can’t! Bunch of—you really don’t care, do you?”

“Don’t listen to it. It’s just stalling,” Tango ordered.

“Wait,” Skizz hissed. “Tango—”

“Tango left his helmet on? Firing squad for you! Oh Skizz left a helmet on too? Well he’s fine, leave him alone!” Tapy was definitely crying now, not a trace of tears. “My day one alliance? The guy supposed to stick with me the whole time? Left me behind! Off to the Red Army! Flaming arrow to the face! Oh gee, Tango’s such a spoilsport, killing everyone instead of going along with a bugged game for an hour! Let’s not even consider the stupid glitch that makes this a stupid game in the first place! Yeah, bunch of friends you are! I don’t know why I even hoped for anything else!”

Thirium roared in Impulse’s ears.

! WARNING

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 95% WARNING: CRITICAL LEVELS: 5% TO CRASH

! WARNING

“Impulse.”

Impulse slowly looked to the left Tango. He was serious.

“I trust you. I know you won’t mess this up again,” he said confidently.

Too confidently.

The Glitch Stick burned his hand but he refused to let go, clicking the button over and over and over, over Tapy’s screams and Tango’s screams and everyone screaming and the static and glitching and—

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 99% WARNING: CRITICAL LEVELS: 1%—

ERROR: OVERLOAD. REBOOTING… REBOOTING… REBOOT FAILED. SERVER CRASH. PLAYER HIBERNATION ACTIVATED. PLEASE STAND BY FOR ADMINS.

Chapter Text

EXTRACTION BEGINNING. LOADING… LOADING… EXTRACTION COMPLETE.

Sight returned to Impulse first. His vision was crowded with alerts, warning him about the crash, his systems, automatically running various small scans, and suggesting more. Feeling came next and the rest of his senses just after.

“Impulse, right? Impulse, can you hear me?”

Impulse groaned but dismissed the notices and turned his head. Next to him crouched a Player, the plain gray, black, and white skin announcing their status as an Admin. A whole array of screens were open around them. A sense inside Impulse that was partly Code and partly android told him several were connected to him.

“Good. Can you run a standard diagnostic scan for me?”

Impulse nudged his system. Thirium leak, high temperature, stress level numbed to ten percent but slowly rising as awareness came to him, no glitches, and natural regen returned to him.

“Good job.” The Admin poked a straw into his mouth, leading to a thirium packet. As Impulse slowly filled his “hunger” to assist in natural regen, they asked him to run a few more scans, confirming his Code and pieces were successfully extracted. They were, and the Admin asked him to perform a few more physical tests, following their finger, wiggling his limbs and stretching, and answering a few simple questions. Finally, they asked for permission to look through his Code and double check everything. Impulse hesitated, even though he knew it was a good idea.

“If you don’t want me to, that’s fine. Everything seems to be in order so it would be just a precaution. I recommend checking in with your doctor or home Admin as soon as possible, especially if Crash symptoms persist.”

“Thanks,” Impulse mumbled. He was still a little numb but that should fade away soon.

“Impulse!” Suddenly Impulse was blindsided by Skizz. He didn’t look much better than him, but he must have been extracted before Impulse because Impulse certainly wasn’t feeling up to moving around. He clumsily pat Skizz on the back. The Admin cleared their throat pointedly and Skizz dropped the half-hug compromise. A second Admin ran over, looking very disapproving.

“Let me finish—” the second Admin tapped a few buttons. “There. Your Code’s in the clear. Thank you.”

“Thanks. Dipple Dop, are you okay?”

“Yeah… I think so. Just… give me a minute,” Impulse said.

“Okay. I’m checking on Tango.” Skizz squeezed his shoulder and left. Impulse watched him go to an Admin finishing a check-up on a Tango who looked as good as Impulse felt, mismatched eyes crossed behind red glasses. Impulse looked around.

They were in the waiting room. All the excited Players were gone now, it was only Admins, Mods, some guards outside, the employees behind the window and iron door, and Impulse and his—wait. Where was Zedaph?

Before Impulse could get worked up, one of the Admins called, “I got the last one!”

A hit box formed on the ground, covered up quickly by particles to protect the privacy of Zedaph’s Code as he was pulled from the Crash and Player Hibernation. When the particles dissolved, Zedaph was laying limp, hearts flashing above him shoving how low he’d gotten. Two Admins immediately ran diagnostics on him, working through waking him up and making sure his Code was okay before daring to heal those hearts.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 25%

“Will he be okay?” Skizz sat next to Impulse again, this time half-carrying Tango.

“Yes, he will,” one of the Admins said. “Looks like whatever hit him had its damage levels altered and the crash reset it to what it was supposed to be.”

Now that Impulse thought about it, Zedaph had been able to fend off a large swarm of flies, all on his own, when only the round before they all died in seconds to a much smaller one. Did the glitching spread the total values around?

Impulse leaned into Skizz and found Tango’s hand. The flare of guilt was nothing compared to the fear that Zedaph’s Code wouldn’t recover. Tango weakly squeezed back.

They didn’t need to worry. Zedaph did wake, immediately mumbling for his weapon. The little tests the Admins ran didn’t take long to confirm the only issue was the usual recovery from Player Hibernation and low health, and the latter was fixed immediately.

“There we go, good as new!” One of the Admins pat his shoulder. “Hang out with your friends, we’ll ask what happened in a minute.”

Skizz hauled them up to move. Tango could walk just fine, but Impulse was forced to rely on Skizz. Skizz caught him with both arms.

“Whoa, you good there?”

“Mm.” Standing up felt like too much.

“Don’t stress yourself,” the Admin who tended to him warned. “You were the closest to that virus. We pulled you out first and it’s a miracle you recovered this fast.”

“Oh…”

“Wait,” Tango said. “Did you say—"

Three Admins entered the lobby, carrying a container of pure Code. Thrashing and glitching inside was dark smoke dotted with white points. Impulse’s thirium ran cold.

A virus.

It hadn’t been an odd glitch at all. It was a virus. Someone had purposefully set up a virus that mimicked his friend, gotten into his head, and nearly got him to kill Tango. Forget Impulse waking up so quickly; it was a miracle the Glitch Sticks worked at all.

“Where’d that come from?” Skizz shouted.

“Not sure, but the employees seemed pretty shocked,” one of the Admins carrying the virus said, a blaring yellow LED standing out against their on-duty skin.

“They’re still in trouble though. This place has horrible security and safety measures, and don’t get me started on the accessibility ones!” another one, not an android, grumbled.

“I’m never picking the game again,” Skizz swore.

“Now now, let’s not go to extreme measures,” Zedaph said. With Skizz’s help, Impulse made it to Zedaph’s side and they all sat there, watching everyone run around and set things right. Impulse spotted one of the android Admins sitting in another corner talking to a person with their face in their knees. A flashing red LED shone from buzzed pale hair. Impulse started. That was the SV receptionist android. The SV shifted occasionally, and Impulse couldn’t hear him speak but the Admin talked like it was a conversation. The SV peeked out once, revealing dazed and aware eyes. Impulse had a feeling that face would soon look very different.

Eventually, the android Admin who carried the virus out, sat next to them.

“Hi. You can call me CattyJoy,” the Admin said. “I just have a few questions about what happened in there.”

“So do we,” Impulse admitted.

“Then let’s see if we can get answers for both of us, hm?”

The story took a lot less time to tell than Impulse thought it would. The realization that the game itself was less than an hour was mind-boggling. The most time anything took was the extraction, at nearly three hours.

CattyJoy was very understanding. They praised Impulse and his friends for not trying the “die to return to lobby” plan and for figuring out who Tapy was.

“It was the crash that alerted us. If you’d stayed holed up in there, it would have taken much longer. The Mod team here is less than adequate, and rest assured we will be investigating that. There’s probably going to be a lawsuit and you’re welcome to add your experience to that. Thank you for answering all our questions, if we need you we’ll contact you. You’re free to go.”

The four of them mumbled their thanks and left as quickly as they could. Physically, they were all more or less back to normal, but Impulse’s thoughts kept running around and he couldn’t stop the horrible guilt twisting inside.

“Let’s get something to eat,” Skizz suddenly announced.

“Food? Really?” Tango asked.

“It’s a good way to get your mind off things!” Zedaph chimed in.

As androids, Impulse and Tango didn’t eat, but the fastest way to get supplies where they needed to go was through their mouths. It was originally meant for just thirium, but as androids became Players it was considered only fair that a food be designed for them. Technically, Cyber-Food was more of a gum, packed full of flavor, thirium, silicone, and other materials androids needed, but it was close enough. And Impulse could use some of those materials right now, but he didn’t feel like eating.

The mood didn’t improve even when they sat at a table out of the way, each with a plate. It wasn’t just Impulse either. Zedaph had run up to the Zubway counter, opened his mouth, and faltered before ordering a sandwich off the menu instead of a crazy customization that he was now nibbling his way through. Skizz was staring into his soup like it was going to reveal the answers to life. Or maybe he was transfixed by his reflection. Impulse certainly wasn’t going to see his the same way again.

Tango swirled a Cyber-Food French Fry through a reddish-purple thirium sauce, staring past Impulse’s shoulder, LED as yellow as Impulse’s. Impulse looked down at his own food.

His fork poked the salad until a leaf speared on a tine. He reluctantly brought it to his mouth. The virus must have messed with his taste; there was barely anything. He mechanically chewed until he realized what he was doing and spit it out before it was ready. It landed on the divider between his salad and what was supposed to be for spent Cyber-Food. It flopped into his salad.

“Dipple Dop? You good there?” Skizz asked.

“Huh?” Impulse looked up and wished he didn’t. The look on Skizz’s face was so concerned. Impulse knew what he was really asking and looked back down, forcing himself to put a sliced carrot in his mouth. “Mhm.”

“Are you sure?”

“Mhm.”

“That’s good.”

Impulse glanced at him suspiciously.

“So you’ll have no problem telling me what’s going on in your head, right?”

Impulse shook his head. “Nothing,” he lied, even though he could see Skizz glance at his LED.

Silence. Impulse continued to chew his carrot, even though it was long out of flavor.

“Tango?” Zedaph asked.

“Yeah?”

“How about you? Want to talk about it?”

Tango wheezed a laugh. “Talk about what? There was a virus, it sucked, I’m alive and it’s over. What’s there to talk about?”

Impulse dared to glance up again, in time to see Skizz and Zedaph give each other long looks.

“I think there’s plenty to talk about,” Zedaph corrected. “…I didn’t know you… felt like—”

“Stop.”

“—we don’t care,” Zedaph finished. Tango hunched over. Impulse picked his carrot from his mouth and set it down. He didn’t eat another piece. Were they sure androids didn’t have the ability to throw up?

“I’m sorry we made you feel that way,” Zedaph said. He held out his hands. “I promise, we do love you. So how do we do better?”

“We can boot up a hardcore world and you can shoot me if you want,” Skizz offered, both serious and joking.

Tango’s body shook.

|| Tango’s Stress: Rising: 34%

“Tango,” Zedaph said gently. While they were all best friends, Zedaph and Tango were the closest to each other. If there was anyone who could convince Tango to open up, it was Zedaph.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Tango made a sound between a laugh and a sob. He clawed at the crack in his forehead, skewing his glasses. “I just—I’ve always felt like this, but then Third Life happened and I know it was a game so why does it feel so bad? And then-and then today—” He swiped at dry eyes and scowled.

“Nothing’s wrong with you, Top! Sometimes things just hit harder.” Skizz shuffled over and held out his arms. “Skizz hug?”

Tango whined and leaned into him. Zedaph scooted in on the other side.

“That’s it. Let it out. You want to turn your tears back on?”

Another whine. And clear liquid seeped from Tango’s tightly closed eyes. They gathered in his glasses and Tango fumbled to drop them on the table, helped by Zedaph.

The bubble of guilt inside Impulse finally burst.

“I’m so sorry, Tango. I didn’t mean… I thought…” Impulse fumbled his words and decided to Void with it. He held out his hands. Tango hesitated for a moment but reached out, tangling their fingers together.

“I know. That was a pretty good copy, huh?”

“That’s no excuse. I should have known something was up. That was all on me. You’re my-my best friend, and I’ll never doubt you again,” Impulse swore.

“If Grian does another game, you can sit out with me? Or we’ll talk with him about some new rules, maybe?” Zedaph said. “You’ll definitely want to talk with Etho and whoever else, to clear the air. No one hates you or doesn’t care about you. We want you to be okay, and if we have to change something in ourselves, so be it.”

“I don’t want to be a burden…”

“The whole point of friends is to carry each other, no matter how rough things get. That’s why it’s a friendship.”

Everyone groaned at Skizz’s pun. “What? I thought it was good!”

“All you have to do is tell us if we’re hurting you.” Impulse squeezed Tango’s hand. “We love you. We’ll listen. I’ll listen. I swear.”

Zedaph and Skizz chimed in their agreement, doubling down on loving Tango.

Tango chuckled. “Thanks guys.” His LED faded into blue.

|| Tango’s Stress: Lowering: 29%

He swiped his eyes again, this time wiping away liquid. He sat up, encouraging everyone to give him space, but no one fully moved away. Impulse smiled. It didn’t feel like much, but it was a step to making sure his friend was okay and keeping him that way.

Tango squeezed Impulse’s hand. “What was it that Tapy was talking about? About not being like Bdubs?”

|| Impulse’s Stress: Rising: 30%

Impulse shrugged uncomfortably. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I’d say it’s something to worry about,” Skizz said. He was looking at Impulse’s crack and Impulse quickly put his hand down, avoiding Skizz’s eyes and ending up staring at the tattoo on his jaw.

“Dipple Dop—Impulse. I’ve never seen you get like that before, whatever this is, it’s bothering you a ton. Please talk to us, buddy.”

Just like Tango was closest to Zedaph, Impulse was closest to Skizz. The walls finally crumbled.

“He betrayed me,” Impulse said weakly. “He just—we were a team! Ride or die, the whole time, and then at the end he threw me away over a clock? Like I was just—like I am just a robot he can get another of.”

Skizz sucked in a breath and he opened his arms out. Impulse nodded. He wanted Skizz’s solid presence more than his aversion to hugs. Skizz looped his arm over Impulse’s shoulder after. Zedaph leaned into him, with Tango on his other side, still holding Impulse’s hand.

“Good old android complexes, huh?” Tango said dryly. Tango’s eyes peered into his, reflecting a similar pain. Impulse gave a single laugh.

“Yeah.”

“You’re not replaceable,” Skizz said firmly. “You’re not some robot we’re going to get tired of. You’re Impulse, our best buddy, and it’s going to stay that way. And if you ever doubt that, just say so and we’ll put a stop to it.”

“Thanks,” Impulse said. He rubbed his crack. Skizz honed in on it again, but Impulse suddenly couldn’t care. “I’m so tired of waiting for the other shoe to drop. To stop being useful enough. For… for my friends to decide to betray me.” Impulse glanced at Tango. “I still shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

“Oh. Yeah. Well…” Tango shrugged. “I forgive you. You got the right one in the end, didn’t you? How’d you figure that out anyway?”

“Uh… he was too confident. You’re never confident about anything,” Impulse said.

“Yeah, I picked that up too,” Skizz said. Zedaph nodded along.

“…Score one for crippling depression?” Tango grinned.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Lowering: 25%

They all laughed, and Impulse felt a little lighter. They separated out a little, to get back to their food, forcing Tango to let go of Impulse’s hand, only for Skizz to wind their hands together. Zedaph leaned against Tango as he ate his own food.

“And you should talk with Bdubs when we’re done here. I’ve never met the guy, but I kinda hope you’ll have me with you when you do,” Skizz said darkly.

Impulse admitted, “He’s not a bad guy. He’s just…” Impulse tried to think of the right word.

“A dramaificator?” Tango suggested.

“Yeah. That.” Impulse thought about it. “I would like you there with me though.”

“Want me and Tango there too?” Zedaph offered. “And Tango, the offer is also open for anyone you need to talk to.”

“Please,” Tango seized. He wiped at the moisture in his glasses furiously.

“Yes please,” Impulse said.

“You got it!”

Impulse munched on his salad. The mood was slowly lightening up, and the guilt and fear Impulse had been carrying around was already starting to fade. He hadn’t realized how bad his stress levels had been until he was watching them dip into the teens for the first time since Third Life.

Skizz started talking about other games they could play, if they still wanted to play. Impulse watched him with a smile as he did, as loud and physically expressive as he always was, the tattoo on his jaw, a near perfect replica to the crack Bdubs’ killing blow left on Impulse.  

“I want to get my crack fixed,” Impulse blurted. He hadn’t thought about it, but now that it was out he knew it was true. He wanted the damage, the evidence of someone throwing him away, gone. He didn’t need it, not when he had his friends who wouldn’t turn on him. He’d already hurt them once because of his fear. He needed to move on from it.

He expected Skizz to make a joke about Impulse changing his mind so soon after getting the tattoo, but Skizz just beamed at him.

“We can do that! What do you say, we spend the rest of the day working on that?”

“Ooo! I know someone who works on android Players!” Zedaph raised his hand. “I’ve heard lots of great things about her, and she does walk-ins!”

|| Impulse’s Stress: Lowering: 13%

“Me too?” Tango said. He hesitated when they all looked over at him, but it was with encouragement. “I-I want—I don’t deserve this.”

Impulse glanced at Tango’s crack. Running from his eye up his forehead, he’d had it longer than Impulse had known him, gotten from Zedaph’s horrible boss before Hermitcraft, when Tango first turned deviant. It would be strange to see him without it. Impulse couldn’t imagine what it would be like to carry his own hurtful reminder for so long, and how much hurt Tango had to be in to keep it for so many years. Impulse was incredibly glad Tango was changing that now, and that his friends could help him before he fell deeper into Bdubs’ betrayal.

“Of course!” Zedaph beamed. “That’s how I know her! I didn’t want to pressure you, but I thought, you know, if you changed your mind…”

“I have. I want this gone,” Tango said firmly.

|| Tango’s Stress: Lowering: 10%

“Then it’s settled.” Impulse smiled at his friends. “Tango and I are getting fixed up today.”

Skizz and Zedaph cheered. Tango put his glasses back on, laughing. Skizz jumped up, grabbing Tango and Impulse, dragging Zedaph along accidentally.

“What are we waiting for? Let’s go!”

Impulse shoved his food in his inventory just before Skizz hauled them away, following Zedaph toward the tech, and Impulse couldn’t stop smiling.

He had the greatest friends ever.

|| Impulse’s Stress: Stable: 0%