Chapter Text
Youhei watches from the school window with the rest of the gang as Sakuragi makes another confession to a girl. This one is going on longer than some of the recent attempts. The girl, what was her name again? Right, Senjougahara. She's pretty with long dark hair that any boy would swoon over. Youhei hadn't interacted with her before, but when he would pass her in the halls Senjougahara always seemed cold. That didn't seem to bother Sakuragi though (bless his dumb heart) as he declared to be immediately infatuated with her. The gang as always sighed, but went along with the antics anyway for their friend.
Senjougahara said something, likely the rejection at last, because she bows then walks away. Leaving Sakuragi standing there all alone from here Youhei can tell he’s upset. His hands are curled into fists and his large frame is shaking. In all honesty Youhei doesn't like seeing Sakuragi upset, his precious flower shouldn't be so sad. Yes Youhei is in love with Sakuragi, sue him, no he doesn't know. His feelings are at the moment unrequited and complicated. He only wants Sakuragi to be happy and some part of Youhei feels he can't do that for him. However, all these rejections aren't helping Sakuragi’s case in finding happiness.
“What number does that make this? 50?”
“I actually feel bad,” Ohkusu says. “I’d given up after 10 rejections.”
“You say that every time,” Youhei says. “Come on, let's go cheer him up.”
The gang leaves the window heading down the hall. Some of their fellow students tense up when seeing them or quickly moving out of the way. It's not like they're going to fight them, but Youhei can understand. All the fights they cause or end up in spread like wildfire, thus many students are wary of them. At least it makes them able to walk faster and soon they arrive at the stairs. Just as they finish the first set everyone comes to a halt. Standing down at the bottom is Senjougahara, her arms crossed.
“I don't appreciate people spying on me,” she says. “Can't have any decency around here.”
“Sorry, miss,” Noma says. “We were just worried about our friend.”
“He’s faced a lot of rejections,” Youhei says. “I’m sure you figured that out.”
“Of course, I’d heard all the rumors,” Senjougahara says, uncrossing her arms. “I felt bad for rejecting him, you know.”
“Huh!?” Everyone gasps in surprise.
“I already have a boyfriend, but Sakuragi seems nice,” Senjougahara says. “He’s a little dumb, however his heart is in the right place.”
That's not the first time Youhei heard someone say that about Sakuragi. He is a little dumb, but that's just one of the many aspects that Youhei loves about him. A big idiot with a heart of gold as the saying goes.
“Thank you for your kind words Senjougahara,” Youhei says.
“Take care of him okay?” Senjougahara says this seriously. “He's the kind of person you don't want to lose.”
With that Senjougahara doesn't say anything else she walks up the stairs, everyone moves out her way. Once she passes him,Senjougahara flashes him a smile, his heart thumps in his chest. It's like Senjougahara figured out how Youhei feels, which is a little scary. He thought he hid it pretty well, so Youhei wonders what could've given him away. Maybe he was staring too hard at Sakuragi during the confession, admiring his features like his calming brown eyes, soft red hair, and his tall frame. Okay, that was likely it. Not like Youhei can help himself, Sakuragi is just too cute to put it in nice and simple terms.
“Hello, Youhei, are you there?”
“Sorry,” he says, snapping out of his thoughts. “I was thinking about something. Anyways, come on, we need to fetch our friend.”
The gang wanders out of the school building. Outside the sun is shining since this is lunch break. They walk for a bit until they reach the area where Sakuragi is, an opening with storage sheds. Unsurprisingly he’s still in the same spot, body shaking and whimpers from his crying. If Youhei was alone he’d immediately hug him (which he has done before), but since he's not he has to settle for patting Sakuragi's back.
“She has nothing against you Sakuragi,” Noma says. “Even wished you well.”
“It's true,” Youhei says. “Senjougahara was nice about it.”
“But she still rejected me,” Sakuragi sobs, Youhei rubs his back. “I didn't know she had a boyfriend already, but it still hurt.”
This rejection seems to be one of the more harder hitting ones. Whenever Sakuragi gets one it's a long week for everyone to help him feel better. Youhei though doesn't mind as it allows him to rather selfishly comfort Sakuragi in any way possible. The rest of the gang helps in their own way, but it's mostly Youhei since he's known Sakuragi the longest.
“It's alright big guy,” Takamiya says. “We’ll get through this like we always do.”
“Rejections have never stopped you before, after all,” Ohkusu says. “All we need is a bros night out and you’ll feel better.”
The infamous bros night out that usually consisted of them getting kicked out from somewhere. Youhei remembers the last one and it wasn't pretty. There were snakes involved, turtles, and a lot of silly string. He shakes the thought away, focusing on continuing to comfort Sakuragi.
“Just don't get us kicked out again,” Youhei says. “I’m not dealing with the aftermath again.”
“They won't kick us out of karaoke,” Takamiya says, somehow he thought of karaoke before asking anyone else. “And to make it more fun, it’ll be a girl's night out!”
“Again? Didn't we do that recently?” Noma asks.
While the gang discusses doing yet another girl's night out (it's what it says on the tin), Youhei focuses his attention on Sakuragi. His face is a mess of snot and tears that still hasn't calmed down. Not to mention his hair is in disarray too, the red strands stick to his forehead. Youhei has seen Sakuragi with his hair down multiple times, it quite literally short circuits Youhei's brain every time. Anyways, he continues to rub circles on Sakuragi's back, hoping it's at least doing something.
“It’ll be alright Sakuragi,” Youhei says. “We’re here for you.” Sakuragi sniffles in response, that's as much of an answer Youhei is going to get.
“We meet up at 7!” Takamiya shouts. “The location being Weird Fishes Karaoke bar!”
“I hope you all have money, I’m not paying for this,” Youhei says.
“We’ve got it covered, I happen to know the owner,” Noma says. “Make sure you put on your cutest outfit!”
They all confirm the details then the gang is off to finish the school day, leaving Youhei behind with Sakuragi. He figures it's best for the two of them to leave, as Sakuragi is in no condition to finish school. Youhei pats his back some more then nods in the direction of the school exit. Sakuragi gets the hint and they leave the campus, sniffles and all. Well almost, something stops Youhei in his tracks. He turns to look up at the windows, where Senjougahara is looking down at them. From this distance Youhei can’t see her face, but something tells him she's smiling.
When Youhei gets home (it's the best option currently) his older sister, Mokoto, isn't home yet. While his mom is currently on a business trip for a week. During the entire walk here Sakuragi didn't say a single word, which is unusual for him. Even after the harshest of rejections he’d still be talkative even if he was upset. Something else must've gone on with this one that made it particularly awful. Youhei will hear about it later if Sakuragi doesn't tell him now. Taking off his shoes, Youhei heads into the living room.
“Make yourself at home,” he says. “Mokoto should be back later.”
“I’m going to use your shower,” Sakuragi doesn't sound great, his voice quiet. “If that's alright?”
“You don't need to ask, go ahead,” Youhei says. “Clothes are in the drawer as usual.”
With that Sakuragi shuffles to the bathroom leaving Youhei to relax in the meantime. He lays on the couch, turning on the television to a basketball game. Youhei barely knows the rules, but he enjoys watching it. The game is intense and appears to be ending in a tie until he hears a loud crash. There's a loud grunt that tells Youhei Sakuragi must've either hit something or he fell. Getting up, Youhei heads to the bathroom and he knocks on the door.
“Are you alright?”
“No,” comes the muffled reply. “You can come in, I left it unlocked.”
Youhei opens the door and as expected he finds Sakuragi sitting in the tub with several bath bottles on the ground. That means he fell and probably hit his head too. Sakuragi looks very dejected, his face is solemn and there's fresh tears. Youhei can't say he's seen such an extreme reaction from one of Sakuragi's rejections before. Yeah he’ll be sad and distressed, but this time it's caused him to be more sad. Youhei wonders if Senjougahara told him something that hit too close to home. Stepping into the bathroom, Youhei walks over to the tub and he gently kicks away some of the bottles. He gets on his knees, hands gripping the cold sides of the tub. Like this Youhei can see the sadness on Sakuragi's face. His eyes are puffy red, face wet with tears, and his usual sunny smile is replaced with a frown. Youhei wants to reach over and give him a hug.
He's pulling Sakuragi to his chest before Youhei can even think. His hand gently cards through Sakuragi's hair as he nuzzles against Youhei’s chest. It reminds Youhei of a cat, a big red cat to be specific. Tears wet his shirt, but Youhei ignores it, he’ll worry about the rest of the world later. Right now the only thing that matters to him is Sakuragi. He whispers soothing words as his hand undoes Sakuragi’s pompadour. The red strands gently flow through Youhei's fingers like gliding along flowers. Soon Sakuragi’s hair is undone, framing one side of his face. Youhei brushes the strands away so they don't stick, Sakuragi leans into the touch of his hand. The small action causes Youhei's heart to skip a beat. He continues to gently knead Sakuragi’s head, providing more soothing words. Youhei would give Sakuragi the world if he could where he wouldn't have to worry about the stresses of life anymore. His smile shining bright every day and the sun kissing his freckled face while they walk along the shores of the beach. Such a selfish dream, but Youhei can be just a little.
Sakuragi makes a loud sniffle and Youhei hugs him tighter. His knees are starting to ache forgetting that he's kneeling on the bathroom floor. However, Youhei will shoulder any pain if it means Sakuragi feels better. He hums a tune, unsure of what it is, but it seems to do the trick in calming Sakuragi down. His body grows less tense and the shaking ceases.
“Youhei…I…”
“It's alright Hana,” Youhei only uses this nickname if they're alone. “I’m here for you.” Sakuragi sniffles again and his tears return. Youhei can only hold him as tight as he possibly can, soothing words slipping out and his hands gently carding through Sakuragi's hair. They should probably move out of the bathroom as Youhei can feel the ache in his knees now, but Sakuragi could use a soothing shower.
It takes a lot of strength for Youhei to detach himself from Sakuragi. When he does Sakuragi makes a whining noise that almost makes Youhei return. He shakes his head though, pointing at the shower. Sakuragi makes a displeased noise but otherwise he seems to understand why he was in here to begin with. Youhei gets up, his knees ache, but he ignores it. He turns to the faucets turning them on, testing the water until it's warm enough. Then Youhei gets the shower nozzle before turning it on, he motions for Sakuragi to come closer. Youhei looks away while Sakuragi gets up to move, he has some modesty here.
Once Sakuragi is sitting in the middle of the tub, legs curled up, Youhei gets to work. He sprays down Sakuragi’s hair until it's fully wet. The tension in his shoulders seems to ease a little as Sakuragi sighs. Youhei keeps the sprayer on while he looks for the shampoo bottle. He only sees Mokoto’s apple scented shampoo, that’ll do. Turning the sprayer off, Youhei hands it to Sakuragi then takes the bottle. The liquid is cool as he puts a quarter sized glob on his hand. Youhei puts the bottle back then he gently starts to wash Sakuragi’s hair. Youhei kneads Sakuragi’s head once more and the shampoo creates many suds, sliding down his hair. Below him Sakuragi lets out a sound of contentment. Youhei glides his hand through the red strands one last time then takes back the sprayer.
Once Youhei washes the shampoo away he hears Sakuragi sniffle. He does one last rinse to make sure the shampoo is gone then turns off the sprayer. Youhei sets it aside not caring where it lands. He brings Sakuragi back to his chest, hand in his hair. It's wet, but Youhei can ignore that.
“I’m sorry Youhei,” Sakuragi says, his voice sad.
“No, it's completely fine,” Youhei says. “I’m here for you, okay.” He’ll always be here for Sakuragi no matter what.
“Can you stay?” Sakuragi asks, the question is simple with an equally easy answer.
“Of course, I’m not going anywhere.”
Once Sakuragi calms down enough, Youhei lets go, not that he wants to of course. He sits on the ground leaning against the tub. His knees ache, but it's nothing he can't handle. The sounds of the shower are soothing in a way while Youhei collects his thoughts. It's not the first time he's washed Sakuragi's hair, he’d done it before in times when he’d gotten sick. However, each time Youhei does it the pain in his heart grows. The pain of wanting to always hold Sakuragi in his arms, to wake up with him, to kiss him every day, and to make him smile. Such selfish dreams to have and yet Youhei can't stop them.
There came a point when Youhei considered doing something about how he feels for Sakuragi. After one of the many rejections that left him sad, Youhei considered taking matters into his own hands. To show that there is someone who does love Sakuragi. However, Youhei didn't do that as it would be selfish to insert his own feelings onto someone who only sees him as a good friend. Youhei lets out a small pathetic laugh, he really is a helpless loser. Yearning for his best friend like this is a romantic movie with no chance of his feelings being reciprocated. He only wants the best for Sakuragi and yet Youhei can't do that for himself.
“I’m done,” Sakuragi’s voice cuts through Youhei's thoughts. “Thank you…for staying here Youhei.”
“It's really no problem at all,” Youhei responds. “Should I leave?”
“No, stay…I don't want to be alone.”
“Alright, I’ll stay.”
Youhei gets up, his knees crack and the blood flows back into his legs. He shakes his legs to make the numbness go away. Then he walks to the middle of the bathroom, back turned away. Youhei hears Sakuragi exit the shower then the rustle of clothes. It doesn't take long for Sakuragi to get changed. Youhei knows he’s done when he feels his back hitting a warm chest, strong arms wrap around him. Youhei hums in content. Like this he can feel the beat of Sakuragi's heart, a very soft calming rhythm. What Youhei wouldn't give to always hear it.
“I’m tired,” Sakuragi finally says. Youhei reaches up to place his hand on Sakuragi's arm, he gently rubs the area.
“Hm. Then go take a nap.”
“Not without you.”
Youhei at this point should expect Sakuragi to say he wants him to stay, yet it always manages to surprise him. Sakuragi is no stranger to asking for what he wants, but in moments like this it is rare for him to take action. Letting a laugh escape him, Youhei frees himself from Sakuragi’s grip. He turns around, taking in Sakuragi's appearance. His shirt is a cream color decorated with little sunflowers and his pants are a pair of ecru colored jeans. The shirt is something Youhei had gotten Sakuragi as a gift after one of his rejections. Reason being is that Youhei likes to get him stuff with flowers on it, something that Sakuragi has yet to question if he notices. It pairs well with his red hair which is currently down course. If only Youhei was braver then he’d kiss him.
“Alright,” Youhei holds out his hand, Sakuragi takes it. “I’ll nap with you.”
Hand in hand they leave the bathroom walking down the hall until they arrive at Youhei’s room. He opens the door, turning the light on and leading Sakuragi to his bed. It's a queen sized bed a bit too big for Youhei, but as Sakuragi has stayed over so much he got a bigger mattress. Youhei’s room itself isn't anything particularly special, he has some band posters, a dresser, book shelf, and of course his bed. It's home and that's all that matters.
He leads Sakuragi over to his bed moving the blue bedspread aside. Youhei lets go of Sakuragi's hand, an action he immediately regrets.
“You get in first,” Youhei says. “I need to change first, make yourself comfortable.”
Sakuragi nods in response and he climbs onto the bed. Youhei walks to his dresser, opens it and pulls out the first pair of clothes he sees. A light blue shirt with waves on it and a pair of dark purple sweats. Nothing particularly fancy, but the shirt was something Sakuragi gave him. Ironic. Anyways, Youhei quickly changes out of his damp uniform, tossing the clothes into the laundry basket. Once he's changed, Youhei dims down his room's light then walks back to his bed.
Already Sakuragi has made himself cozy nestled under the blankets and laying on his back. It's rather cute. Youhei climbs onto the bed laying on his side to face Sakuragi and pulls the blankets over himself. He's observed Sakuragi's face a lot, memorizing all the details like his freckles that are barely noticeable. Whenever it's a particularly hot day Sakuragi’s freckles stand out more, allowing Youhei to count each one. He’d trace each one with his fingers if he could, another selfish dream.
Sakuragi turns to face Youhei, his hair smooshed against the pillow. There's a pleading look in Sakuragi's tired eyes that Youhei immediately knows what he wants. Youhei gently brings Sakuragi back to his chest, head tucked under his chin, hand in his hair, and the other wrapped around him. He hears Sakuragi sigh then an arm drags itself around Youhei’s waist pulling him closer. Sakuragi is like a furnace, a scorching warmth that is comforting. Youhei will always relish these moments until he's back in the cold once more.
“Youhei,” Sakuragi mumbles, Youhei cards his hand through Sakuragi's hair. “Senjougahara…She told me…”
“Told you what Hana?” Ah, he's finally going to tell him.
“That I won't find the moon to match my sun if I keep this up,” Sakuragi squeezes Youhei tighter, he feels a wetness against his chest. “I’m only doing these confessions because…I’m lonely. Searching for meaningless love to fill the void in my heart.”
Youhei holds Sakuragi as tight as he can as the tears flow once again like a waterfall. He gently cards his hand through the soft red strands murmuring soothing words. It's no wonder Sakuragi is so upset, Senjougahara did something rarely anyone has ever done, read deep into Sakuragi's heart like a book. She didn't need to do that, but Senjougahara did for what purpose Youhei can't ever know, remorse perhaps? Or…does she know something Youhei doesn't.
He holds Sakuragi tighter, almost like letting go will make him vanish into the wind. Sakuragi's tears don't stop until they both fall asleep wrapped in each other's arms.
Youhei finds himself sitting on a chair by the ocean. Cold water washing over his feet and the sunset casting everything in oranges and reds. In his hands is a bouquet of sunflowers and a silver ring on his ring finger. He's not sure how he got these, but they're important. The waves gently wade at Youhei's feet some more until he hears a voice.
“Don't just sit there Youhei!” Sakuragi's voice carries against the wind, making Youhei turn to him. “We're going to be late for our anniversary!”
Standing just a ways down the beach is Sakuragi. He looks older, his face more sharp and maybe a little taller. His red hair has grown out, keeping it in a low ponytail. The freckles on his face are prominent from the glow of the sun. It's the most beautiful thing Youhei has ever seen. He feels a tear drip down his face. Getting up, Youhei walks along the beach, the sand cool against his feet, until he's standing right in front of Sakuragi. On his hand is a matching silver ring.
“Sorry, I’m late love,” Youhei says, holding out the sunflowers. “I was lost in thought.”
“That's what you always say.”
Sakuragi smiles a big happy smile that melts Youhei's heart. Dimples prominent and freckles stretching across his golden skin. Youhei stands on his toes leaning in until their lips are centimeters apart. Sakuragi kisses him and the world turns into a dull orange haze.
Youhei wakes up to his face being wet.