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Sometimes I wonder what has become of your life...
I hope one of these days you write to me.
Tsumugi would not judge this as the worst morning of his life, because there had been several rather worse - such as the morning after the last Ex Fine concert. Nevertheless, it would surely enter the top 10. His poor condition was noticeable: he hadn't combed his hair, causing his blue curls to fall haphazardly around his shoulders. He hadn't slept, and as a result, two huge black circles plagued his olive eyes. He was so groggy in the morning that he hadn't noticed that his otherwise hideous khaki-colored shirt wasn't properly buttoned. He couldn't find his usual shoes and was wearing a pair of fuchsia pink sandals.
Beyond all that, Tsumugi was not someone who was overly concerned about his appearance. However, today was the day of the conglomerate's monthly board meeting, colloquially dubbed the “Summit”. At this meeting, the presidents and their second-in-command met to discuss future business plans and the distribution of profits, among other things. As luck (or misfortune) would have it, Tsumugi became president of New Dimension and his former best friend, Eichi, president of Star Production. Which meant that on the first of every month, Tsumugi had the opportunity to see in person the man who had stolen his heart since he was 15 years old.
Normally , he tried to prepare better for the days when there was a Summit. But yesterday he had been closing New Dimension's annual balance sheets and nothing was going right. The numbers were in the red, and no matter how much he tried to cut budget and improve finances, they were *still* in the red. So Tsumugi found himself in the situation of running up the stairs to the top floor of the building, in his worst clothes, and with a folder full of documents showing the deplorable financial situation of the company he was leading.
To make matters worse, he didn't even have a second-in-command who could help him deal with the embarrassing situation. Who was he supposed to bring in? Tsukasa was still too young to take on the megalomaniacal tycoons upstairs. Leo was crazy. Izumi... He was a case apart. Arashi wasn't interested in boring business topics, even if she would have made an amazing leader. Ritsu would fall asleep. Madara, no way. Natsume and Sora were like his children, he didn't want to involve them in such a violent situation. Besides, he was hiding the company's financial status from their curious and innocent eyes. In a certain respect, he was similar to his mother in this. With the exception that he wasn't dissipating his money on vague promises of astrology and tarot.
Anyway, he arrived at the meeting room sweaty and disheveled, also late. Eichi was talking. Tsumugi stumbled at the mere sight of him, before trying to take his seat without making too much of a fuss. Eichi pretended to hide a mocking laugh. As always, his attire, his face, his hair, everything was immaculate. It almost seemed as if an angelic halo of light surrounded him.... Or, at least, that's what Tsumugi saw. His blond hair fell neatly in his face, his blue eyes sparkled as he explained his business ideas and his white suit was tailor-made for his attractive body. How could anyone concentrate on his words? To Tsumugi, they just sounded like distant murmurs, his eyes too preoccupied with how the other boy's long eyelashes fluttered as he spoke.
The meeting progressed as it usually did: each of the chairmen explained their progress for the month and proposals for the future while the second in command clicked a button that played the slides of the explanatory presentation. Tsumugi's turn was the last, so he spent the meeting looking at Eichi in a way he considered subtle. He never interceded in the entrenched discussions of the Summit chairmen - he was too busy looking at the man he considered angelic. Maybe that was why his company was bankrupt. Eichi, of course, never looked at him, no matter how much the other pleaded in his mind.
Tsumugi's mind was in the air, as if it was all a dream, and it was a little difficult for him to react. This was because he had not slept all night. So, when Ibara cleared his throat to urge him to stand up and introduce himself, Tsumugi almost didn't notice. Luckily he managed to engage enough neurons to get up and start presenting. He wasn't one to get nervous, the years and bad experiences had made him lose his shyness in spades, but with *him* in front of him, things were different.
“Um. Well. New Dimension has spent the month with much of their budget invested in researching our innovative VR technology, which will let idols give concerts for fans all over the world. Plus Knights has been touring Europe, which has also been making money.... Eh... MaM is not yet active. There are talks about him joining a group with.... Um... Kohaku Oukawa, from the Crazy:B group at Cosmic Production, which we are negotiating with the respective party... By next month we would like to test our technology in the building so that we can release it to the general public.”
“Thank you, Tsumugi.” noted Ibara, making the bespectacled boy sit back down. He had decided not to mention anything about his company's deplorable financial situation, crossing his fingers that no one would notice that the balance sheets didn't add up and all the numbers were in the red. The meeting progressed after some clashes and arguments between the presidents, through insults feigned as flattery, especially by Ibara. Tsumugi was *so* asleep that he was finding it hard to keep his attention, and of course he was not able to follow the thread of the discussion.
After about an hour, the meeting ended and everyone began to say goodbye and leave. Tsumugi personally said goodbye to each of them, with a small forced smile, closing his eyes and tilting his head. Eichi, however...
“Tsumugi, could you stay a second longer?” his voice was soft and silky smooth to the other boy's ears. He had said his name. Tsumugi, Tsumugi, Tsumugi, Tsumugi. She was looking him in the eyes. It took him a second longer than usual to respond.
“Yes! Of course.” he replied, nodding his head and laying his papers haphazardly all over the meeting table, sitting back down like an obedient labrador. Eichi walked calmly to his seat across from him. All the sleepiness he felt dissipated in seconds, replaced by a pounding heart so loud it could almost be heard in the room. He wasn't able to look him in the eye-how could he?
“It's been a long time, hasn't it? You look...” Eichi gave him an up and down look. Tsumugi felt his cheeks flush. Why, just today, of all days? He always prepared well for Summits, but after a full night without sleep he found it impossible. He decided to quickly interrupt Eichi so that Eichi wouldn't have to force a compliment.
“It's been a long time! I'm glad to be able to talk again.” He stammered, wielding an awkward smile. They both held each other's gaze for a heartbeat.
“Look... I'm going to get straight to the point. Madara spoke to me the other day, and told me you needed help.”
“Help?” Tsumugi repeated, feigning ignorance.
“Yes. Financially. Knights is spending an awful lot of money on your tour without raising much, since the idol scene is not yet recognized worldwide - although, I appreciate your effort to try to expand your horizons. On the other hand, your investment in an uncertain virtual reality future hasn't seen a profit yet either. Madara is not active, and Switch? It's not like it's earning much. Tsumugi, I admire your attempts at innovation, but...”
Tsumugi felt himself blushing to his ears. Eichi hadn't had a direct conversation with him in years, and when he did, was it to impress upon him how bad he was at running a company?
“We are expecting to perceive profits from the VR technology in the coming months, as we do the testing inside the EnSquare building and subsequently release the product to the public. I have some plans, which... I can show them to you if you want. We are following them to the letter. I'm doing my best... I'm sorry.”
As he looked up to meet his eyes with Eichi's, he felt transported to the backstage after the last Ex Fine concert. At the time, he was also repeating the sorry and begging Eichi, collapsed on his feet, not to end the group. Six years later, he found himself in a similarly humiliating situation. She tried to keep back the tears that threatened to escape her eyes.
“I understand. I'm not judging you. We're friends, right?”
Friends? Friends ? How are you friends with a person you haven't spoken to in six years? Whose heart you've broken? Whose heart you've never allowed to fall in love again? Tsumugi couldn't help but open his mouth slightly and his eyes became like saucers. However, he wasn't going to give up the possibility of Eichi calling him friend again. To his misfortune, and due to the zero amount of sleep, his brain short-circuited and his lips moved before his mind.
“And Wataru?”
“Wataru went on tour with his theater troupe. He's like a pigeon. I never intended to lock him up.” he replied. Tsumugi tried to sense some hint of sadness in her words.
And I - I am your bluebird of happiness. Remember you told me? When I disowned my name, which reminded me of the family that hated me and brought my dreams to ruin. You wouldn't have to worry about imprisoning me. I myself would pray to stay by your side.
He thought so, but only a soft “Ah.” sounded from his lips after a few seconds.
“You're still in the clouds, as always. You've hardly changed.”
“S-Sorry, I didn't sleep well, but I'm paying attention, I swear.” as if she didn't pay attention to Eichi always, whether they were in the same room or not, independent of the passage of time. “If you give me one more month, I promise I'll raise the utilities. I'm really sorry. I know this isn't the standard you're used to.”
“Ah... In consideration of our friendship, if I could, I would give you one month. But our idol complex can't afford such luxuries. The vision I have... It can't accept anything but perfection. Unfortunately, I have to deal with Cosmic Production, which is hard enough on me as it is, without burdening myself with your problems as well. Do you understand me, Tsumugi?”
“Yes. I understand.”
“Besides, you never listen to me. How many times have I told you to cut your hair and replace your glasses with contact lenses?”
“Thousands of times.” Tsumugi remembered. Eichi would come up to him in high school, on one of those miraculous days when his health allowed him to attend the classroom. He would sit at his desk, while Tsumugi would look up at him from his chair. The light from the windows illuminated his face, causing him to squint slightly. Eichi would raise a hand and play with a lock of Tsumugi's hair. He laughed at his curly, tangled hair. He reminded him of how good contact lenses looked on him. “The hair thing... Sorry. It's a promise with an old friend.”
“Your promises, your superstitions.... You should tend to change, or you'll end up like your mother.” Ouch. Unnecessary. “But, Tsumugi, it's not all bad news. You see... I think your virtual reality proposal is interesting. As StarPro, I'd like to buy the patent. I'll pay you enough so that you won't have to worry about money for a while.”
“Does the patent...does that imply that NewDi won't be able to commercially exploit the virtual reality twist?”
“No. Well, not without our permission. And it will all be in our name.”
“Ah... This... Eichi...” Tsumugi bit his lower lip. Normally, he would do anything to please Eichi, but this request was somewhat unfair. He had spent over a year developing the technology, to finally have something that would mark the hallmark of New Dimension, and now he had to part with it, after all the expensive investments and hard work? Not to mention the slap on the wrist that would come from Natsume if he agreed to such a request. “No way. I'm sorry.”
Eichi looked confused. Perhaps he assumed that Tsumugi was indeed willing to do everything for him, just as it was when they were 15 years old?
“Ah. I understand. I imagine you have a link to this.... Project of yours. No matter. Let's keep talking about it and we can draw up a contract that suits both of us. Let's give it time until the end of the month. At that time, I'll have to review the accounting, and if there's no noticeable improvement, I'm afraid that...”
Eichi didn't finish the sentence, but Tsumugi understood where he was headed. He would take it upon himself to end New Dimension, the idol groups would move on to another administration, and Tsumugi.... He would fail in front of him again. His mind brought him back to when he was seven years old, his little hand holding his mother's as men took away all the furniture in his idol academy. Mom, when will I see my friends again? That question went unanswered.
Tsumugi nodded, ready for the challenge.