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“It’s terrible.”
The Conqueror of Demons stood alongside Liyue’s pink-haired legal advisor a good three or four feet from the table. They stared critically at what certainly appeared to be a neo-abstractionist attempt at a birthday cake. To punctuate the moment of silence, a glob of too-thin icing fell from one of the misshapen layers and landed with a “plop” on the plate.
“Oh, don’t feel so bad, Xiao. It’s not…” Yanfei examined the horrible state of the first layer, which was about to fall apart at the seams. “…inedible, I’m sure.”
“I used baking soda instead of flour.”
“You used three cups, I take it?”
“It would explain the acrid smell.”
Yanfei didn’t want to comment on the unpleasant smell, but as long as the topic was at hand… “Ah, yes. That seems logical.” She paused and, for a moment, tried not to inhale. “Xiangling had three cups of baking soda?!”
“Apparently.”
“And what did you use instead of cooking oil?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“You weren’t sure either, were you?” With a sigh that bordered on tears of exasperation, Yanfei glanced down and bit her bottom lip. “I’m going to guess corn syrup.”
“Sounds about right.” Xiao shrugged his shoulders. “Whatever. I’m sorry.”
“Hey,” Yanfei tried her best to sound amiable, even with the impossible feeling of wanting to laugh at the pathetic cake display and hug its maker at the same time, "you tried, and, um, you know what they say… thought that counts and everything.”
“I wouldn’t call this disgrace a thought, Yanfei.”
“Oh don’t be such a drama queen, Xiao. I’m sure no cook in Liyue’s ever filed bankruptcy over a silly birthday cake,” Yanfei snapped quickly, unable to stomach much more self-criticism from the yaksha, “I’m sure the Traveler and Paimon will love it.”
“You’re not going to eat it? Not even a bite?”
If the legal advisor hadn’t known better, she would have thought Xiao was trying to sound insulted. With an incredulous, unflappable gaze, she leveled her eyes at him. “It’s…uh…vanilla. I’m more of a chocolate person.”
Xiao’s face pinched in momentary indignation, but he quickly looked away, pretending to be above embarrassment. “Fine. Then you can throw it away.”
“I never said I disliked vanilla, Xiao!” She cried, gesturing wildly towards the would-be cake.
“No, but you implied it.”
“You’re just assuming that. Admit it, you want to have something to be mad about.”
Xiao scoffed. “I don’t. Do I look the type to overreact to every little thing?”
“I’m not going to argue about this!” Yanfei threw her arms up and quickly crossed them over her chest. Pouting like a child, she waited for Xiao to make the next move.
“If you hate the cake, it’s better you just say it right now, Yanfei.” He grumbled. “I don’t remain mad for long when nightfall comes.”
They both continued to stare at the slowly disintegrating confection. This time a chunk of pasty, lumpy cake broke off and teetered over the edge of the bottom layer, not quite ready to fall.
“Just like you to wait and take out your aggression in bed.” Yanfei rolled her eyes but smiled inwardly.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh, I think you know.”
They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, and then Xiao released a long, pointed sigh. “Happy Birthday, Yanfei.”
Yanfei shyly played with her hair. “Thanks, Xiao.” Now she thought of how she would explain to Xiangling why her kitchen was in an awful state with sugar, corn syrup, and baking soda all over the place.